


Lost in Thoughts and All Alone

by Centarious



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Death, Drama, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Height Differences, Homesickness, Many Serious Bits, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Romance, Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Symbolism, Temporarily Unrequited Love, War, damaged characters, eventual HD remake of the beginning chapters, it's a broad term is all im saying, not focused on fluff, okay so it's like, there is fluff i swear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-30 02:49:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 207,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8515645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Centarious/pseuds/Centarious
Summary: King Sumeragi is taken to Nohr instead of Corrin. During his time away he offers Corrin as a wife to Garon's youngest son. A plague attacks the two countries ending in her Fiancé's death. Now she is to be betrothed to Xander, Crown Prince of Nohr. Her trust begins to waver with her family, and she learns the secrets behind her birth as the fighting between two hostile countries wages on.





	1. Lies and an Itchy Nose

I wish I were a maid. A commoner. Not some bargaining chip for the monarchy. Through out my fathers absence my mother and her advisers have always thrusted suitors upon me but I was always able to decline, though I adored some of their charming looks and compliments. I'd rather be to my own devices in Hoshido than some far off suffering land. I had half a mind to lash myself in public for not appreciating the ability of choice. It was being taken away from me as painfully as being plunged into the cold river while my father watched quietly behind me.

He's been gone for 12 years and he has the audacity to sell me to another man. My enemy at that. The people that stole him! He doesn't care, just so long as he is free of Nohr's filthy grasp he's happy. He says he was imprisoned to save me from them and that I should be a grateful and obedient daughter and accept this, I spat at his feet when I pointed out how worthless his sacrifice was since he's personally sending me off now. His slap didn't sting as much as I would've thought.

I sighed in frustration as my maids tightened the strings on my corset. Oboro chided in response, her sly smile gleaming in the mirror I loomed over. My hands gripped the sides tightly and I let out a sharp gasp as the fabric cut into my sides. This was just the beginning.

In the words of my mother "Nohrian women wear corsets at every hour my dear, you'll have to get used to it early. Nohrian counsel also adores the more... physical aspects of women in power." "I herd they loved foreign spices as well..." I had replied with a grin. She had giggled for one of the last times that fall.

I wheezed for air as they pulled relentlessly. Tears welled up in my eyes.

I was once promised to an elite scholar. One of Nohr's youngest sons... until the plague feasted upon Nohr. Hoshido was grazed by it presence but since Nohr was attacked first we were able to fend for a majority of its reign. My fiancé along with his younger sister did not survive their illnesses, like many others. A year of delays in my betrothal led to the switch of suitors. Now, I'm going to court a man nearly 8 years older than me. At least with the first, I was the older one -if only by a month or so- we also had some of the same interests -I learned through his letters.-

Once it was all figured out, King Garon wanted this wedding over with quickly as his wish to gain grandsons -grand _sons-_ grew stronger every day. I wonder why I wasn't sent to be the crown prince's wife in the first place if he wanted a sure fire line of succession to the throne so badly. In the end, all I do in this game of tactical advance is bring peace through my open legs. "A noble whore." Hinoka had spat at the ground once realizing my place in the matters. She was filled with rage at my place in these matters and looming absence....  Anger was the only similar reaction with my siblings. Sakura bounded near me at all times, a little cloud of gloom followed her at first. Oddly, she grew bolder and pushed past her nervousness, apparently she spoke to my fiancé today. Takumi did as well, he warned him severely. The only thing he's done with me In mind for weeks... he's avoided me. He's avoided everyone in fact. I used to be the only one who could free him from his emotions, but now I can't even catch his glance. He can't handle this.

I cried out in relief as they tied the strings. No more pulling thank the gods! I sat down on my bed with an exasperated sigh but quickly realized my mistake. There was little to no air in my lungs once I sat down and I was force to lie flat.

Ryoma's reaction to my leaving hurt the most. "Just the thought of being without you kills me. My beautiful little sister... I'm so sorry I couldn't protect your from them any longer." his soft voice, devoid of any glee, or hope, chills my heart. He had taken my tiny hands in his and held them so tight. "Mother, Father, and I, we have hidden things from you since the day you arrived in Hoshido... If we have the audacity to lie to you, then you must know, every man, woman, and child will do so as well. You can not trust anyone from this day onward... not father, not  _my_ siblings,   _no one._ We've held tiny lies that affect your truths so greatly... whilst others, they hold lies that effect you, us, and everything around you. You can't think of just yourself now. Now you have to think of an entire world of people because.... your choices will effect everyone. Be smart." from that day forth he was always busy. Planning to end this in someway. It's just pointless.

  
I was pushed to sit upright, and I desperately tried catching my breath. Mother grabbed a hairbrush from my nightstand. I grimaced as she began her work on my hair from behind, my maids took my hands and feet and began clipping and fine tuning my nails, Oboro sauntered over and sat beside me on my bed. She tilted my head with her delicate fingers, and grabbed two containers from seemingly nowhere and whispered.

"This is from my special stash, he won't be able to resist you tonight."

"Th-there's no need for that" I smiled with closed eyes to not see her toying grin at my flushed face.

"Honestly Mikoto, such a reserved girl... your chances of grandchildren were already low enough with her flustered nature, now with a Nohrian you may never get to see her adorable little babies." her grin turned devilish. She was one of the few people in my mothers court that referred to her as just Mikoto. The two were the best of friends though.

"Mother!" I cried. Laughter bubbled in my chest and a smile broke though. Mother let out a little puff of air.

"I think I scared them of those intimate actions." I could feel her soft smile behind me.

"Poor Takumi never stood a chance, you slapped the curiosity out of him that day!" she laughed

"I'm glad I just had to explain it to him, Corrin, and Sakura. I couldn't bare do it to Hinoka or Ryoma. Ugh... I feel terrible for their father some times." the mention of my father made the air grow stagnant again, but I held a tiny smile of such odd and crazy memories. Mother raised us well. Ryoma helped her raise us too. When she fell ill with the sickness the great plague brought,  he took care of us. He even held off his plans of raging war on Nohr -to save our father- to make sure we were well tended too. Father said the plague saved Hoshido's life since it held off Nohr's ideas of war as well, the loss of two nobles greatly attacked morale and a great deal of their army died.

My hand held my scalp as she ripped through a large knot in my thick curly hair. It looked white to most but, only if you looked really close, it was actually the lightest of blues. The lightest hue in the entire color spectrum I thought. I just wanted to feel special about my self I assumed. I guess I was rather unique in my own ways though, my red eyes, pointed ears, my teeth were even the slightest bit sharp at one area, mother says my temper is my most prominent feature though. It really is.

The minutes rolled by and soon I was prim, proper, and pretty. In a traditional white kimono, with my nearly white hair braided and laying over my shoulder. Yellow flowers nestled between my thick strands and suddenly I was looking at an entirely different girl. Why did a smile tease her lips as her crimson eyes examined her state. Why did she whisper

"It's beautiful."

When this is the ugliest moment of her life. With a sudden snap of reality my eyes met mother's, she forced a small smile. Mine fell and I looked at my hands.

"All of you are dismissed." she said with that strong tone of voice she always used when going in control. As Oboro and the maids left, her smile grew more sad. She walked up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders, "You do look wonderful, my little dragon. I just wish..." her voice trailed into nothing and she looked to my neck.

"I don't want this." I whispered. "I don't want to leave you or Ryoma or my siblings. I was never raised to be a queen... I was never meant to be an heir to a throne, mother..." She chuckled softly. She stroked my hair and I began memorizing her touch. These tiny actions she did so often, meant the world to me now.

"Corrin... my little dragon... always, always be smart. Be the wiser woman, because no nobility matters when ruling comes to play, the simplest of peasants or workers can cause an uproar, a war. Remember Leon's letters? How he taught you to play chess? Play your moves in court as strategically as in chess. Don't be overwhelmed... but don't be over managed."

My new fiancé and I were complete strangers. I often forgot his name as well. All I knew is that he was next in line to the throne.

"What's his name again?" I asked. I could never wrap my head around my new fiancé's name. It was such an odd pronunciation, so foreign my lips refused to utter it.

"Xander. He will be the one Ryoma attacks most and is the tallest man I've ever seen," I smiled at the thought of Ryoma bickering with him and putting the mystery man in his place. Oh but how ironic is it that everyone has seen this man but me. His soon to be wife. "Ah! Before I forget, I want you to have this," she unclipped the new necklace she had been wearing today, she put it onto me and I thumbed its stone surrounded by silver works of metal, a pattern, almost like a house symbol surrounded it, "The stone is rather rare. Its found only in my country but they pop up here nonetheless. This one though... I've had this one since I left my home. I want you to have it. It's a dragon stone."

"It's beautiful!"

Something flickered behind her eyes and she smiled, "They say these stones were once able to control raging dragons."

"I do have dragon blood in me after all."

"Yes you do. Also, your father, your siblings, and I all chipped in to buy you another gift. One you'll receive soon. The other I'll give to you in the morning."

"What's the first one?" I asked with a gleaming curiosity.

"It will be placed atop your finger." she whispered. She took my hand and we left my room all too quickly. We descended the many sets of stairs until we had to part ways. A set of doors awaited me whilst a single door beckoned her.

"I love you."

"You will never know how much joy you filled my life with.... I love you so much my little Corrin."

She embraced me tightly like all my siblings had done before and she left. Tears filled my eyes as the door clicked behind her. It would be the last time I'd properly speak with her for a very long time. 

I took a moment to compose myself before entering. All my maids and butlers, along with my and my siblings retainers lines the endlessly long hallway before the throne room. It's gigantic doors looked at me fondly from afar. I walked slowly... memorizing how my mother had looked, how the palace smelled, even how the light beamed on the wooden floors so perfectly.

Every person I walked past bowed and all too quickly, soon I was at the end of the hallway. Kaze locked eyes with me and we silently said our final good byes. He gave me a sad smile of encouragement that only made my heart ache more.

A signal was given, and the doors opened.

 

 

 

Walking towards this man I think to be Xander, is like walking down stairs in the dark. My heart skipped at every step fro fear I'd sink or fall right out of the world. My stomach tangled and my chest buzzed and soon I smelt something spicy. Closer and closer I made it to the man beside the priest, it got stronger. Its familiar... the only thing about him that is.

I have to crane my neck upwards at him. A short woman and an abnormally tall man. A perfect pair. His deep brown eyes met my red ones and he smiled slightly. I frowned in response and his smile faded. His eyes held no emotion from that point on. His face was stoic. It was unnerving. He was handsome though. I can admit to that much. But his Nohrian blood streaked him with an ugly heritage. Is it wrong to hate the child of your Father's kidnapper just as much? In my defense though, he is taking me without my permission.

Soon purification salts and water are poured on our heads and a small prayer to the dawn dragon is recited. This tiny little prayer is the reason a separate wedding will occur in Nohr I've herd. I nearly jump back as Xander bends down slightly, closing the distance between us. He leaves just enough distance so that I still can't reach. I just stare at his lips, silently refusing to meet him half way. He doesn't have it. His gaze on me though, softens tremendously.

"My Father is watching us." he warns quietly. _Be smart._ Ryoma's voice flows through my head. I make eye contact with him without thinking he glares sternly at me and I look to father... his knuckles were white, his face filled with rage. Fear filled my chest and I looked back to Xander. He's even closer now. That spice he smells of tingles my nose. Suddenly I rear back and sneeze. All the color drains from my face and I cover my mouth. I'm screaming silently as I watch him reel back in surprise.

His eyes flash emotion, Hurrah!

I want to run away as gasps fill the congregation. This will reach Nohr and back before nightfall _"The princess sneezed on her husband because he attempted kissing her!"_

Xander pulled out a white handkerchief from under his breastplate and removed my slobber from his face. I flushed a deep red and looked apologetically in his eyes. He nodded slightly. I approached him and got up on my tip toes. I barely made it up to his chin. He bent down and lifted up my chin slightly to help him reach. His soft lips brushed over mine gently. He pulled away slowly and I looked away in despair.

....I could never love this man, nor could I love his country....

 

 

My blunder did not go unnoticed by Xander's father. He did not approach me, but his gaze was ever present at the party held right after our betrothal.

I should have stayed with Xander of course, but I flitted off to the wine table without so much as a second glance. My first glass came with becoming 18. Three days ago. The drink burnt my throat but, when my head buzzed and my fingers tingled, I didn't think about the wedding and I didn't mind the burn anymore.

I picked up the delicate wine glass and took a slow sip. I shook my head as my chest stung in protest. I sighed and let my shoulder slump as I leaned against the table. I looked through the growing crowd of people in the dance hall, they stole glances at me and chatted idly. My eyes wandered around the circular room. In the night, the little lake beside the rooms large windows shimmered. Stars reflected against it and I could already tell the moon was full. I looked at the multiple large statues lining the walls. Placed across from the windows, was of a large dragon, one of my oldest ancestors stood beside the creature holding up a sword. Down the line were more statues of more memorable ancestors until my grandfather was frozen in the same marble. They already started working on my father's.

My eyes glanced over the only glimmer of blonde in the crowd. Xander. He craned his neck slight to see Ryoma. The two seemed to be having a heated conversation. Ryoma was almost his height... almost. A different spice filled my nose, it seemed to be sweeter.

"Quite the sad look my dear." a smooth voice filled my ears. I jumped, successfully sloshing wind onto the floor. Beside me was the curviest woman I'd ever seen. Her curly purple hair waved around her. A black dress flowed down her and pooled at her feet. My eyes meet her soft eyes. She was the most beautiful person I've ever met. 

"Oh- Who are you?" I asked with a raised brow.

"Oh, forgive me, I'm Camilla. I'm your husband's sister." my stomach lurched in disgust at the word husband. My face must have showed it, "He isn't all that bad if you don't sneeze on him." she giggled at herself and took a glass from the table. She took an elegant sip, her eyes watching me from over the glass. I swallowed thickly. Nervousness crawled up my spine. She brought her lips from the glass to giggle again, "Don't be nervous my dear. I'm the safest one here."

"Oh." I muttered. I took a nice long drink from my glass, nearly emptying it. She let out another giggle.

"Don't drink yourself to death now. Are you even old enough to drink?"

"I don't think anyone can stop a grieving woman from drinking." I replied. She smiled. My nervousness began to wash away as she smiled. It was almost motherly.

"He won't be too bad, though he can be quite boring if uninterested. His one flaw in his stoic shield."

"I knew no one could be born with such emotionless eyes!"

"I'll give you some points for earlier. You startled him. Hah! It took the life of me to not burst out laughing from his reaction." I wanted to shrink away.

"I didn't mean to sneeze on him. It just happened so suddenly."

"I think you'll be alright. I'd also like to commend you for refusing to kiss him. I think a little bit of rebellion would do him good. He's much to used to having people -women especially- bend over backwards for him. You didn't even budge. Shows strength. You'll need it."

"Er- Thank you."

She looked me up and down. Examining my very being before her eyes rested on my breasts. I looked around the ball room frantically for mother. In the corner she stood entertaining Garon with a soft smile. He chuckled and the crowd around them followed his lead. No... she can't help me. Ah! Where is-

"Hmm... I didn't think corsets would work under a kimono. I thought you women banded your chests."

"We do." I murmured. I preferred the wraps over this. The bandages concealed whilst, this pushed up all I had to offer until every movement I made jiggled. I can't stand it, "How did you know I was wearing one?"

"It's your stance, its straining to relax with it on isn't it." she raised her eye brows. I nodded shyly, "Keep good posture and take deep breaths. Yours are too shallow, I don't think passing out would be a good end to this night." I smiled to myself, what a wonderful idea.

"So... how old are you?" I inquired with a tiny sip of wine. I thought I looked more adult like this.

"Ah, never ask a woman her age." she giggled, "but what's yours?"

"Well, I'm not a woman. Maybe a girl."

"15?" I laughed and shook my head.

"No, 18. I am a bit short for my age."

"Short and your eyes are so large. I mean it as a compliment though. Well your eyes at least." she sat her wine glass down and put her hands on my face. Her thumbs kneaded into my cheeks. My face grew hot and once again I looked for mothers eyes to reassure me. She spoke with Garon as if he was an old friend. He took a large drink of his wine and smirked. Mother flashed a different kind of grin. The whole world seemed to stop as she touched his chest gently. He looked down at her and my heart sank.

I never thought of mother's reaction to my betrothal. I never thought it was that bad. Father hated me, Hinoka got angry, Sakura grew bold, Takumi avoided me, Ryoma grew more protective... mother... mother just kept loving me. She was closer than ever and I wasn't bothered until today. Her smile was off. She seemed sad and I thought it was just because I was leaving but... there was so much more than I thought. Her shaky voice filled my ears, _"I would do anything to prevent this, if I could, my little dragon."_

My hand grasped Camilla's wrist gently as I stared in horror. Mother's finger traced little circled in his chest and she reared up on her toes and whispered something into his ears that made his smile grow more feral.

"M-mother?" I whispered gently.

"Oh dear." she said humorously, as if all this was funny. I glared at her sharply, anger bubbled in my chest. I ripped her hands from my face. Something warmed on my chest till it burned. My hands shook. I felt betrayed, sickened, how could she- Why would she do this- Father would- Father didn't care. He watched on silently, shame crossing his face. He looked away from the spectacle and our eyes met. "How could you." I growled. He would never hear me. How could he let me be taken away, then allow mother to throw herself at a man to somehow save me. No. I would not allow it. Never.

I strode across the large ball room and pushed my way past the people. I shoved and shoved until I made it into the little clearing to give the two space. I stepped in front of mother and she spilled her wine onto my back accidently. I could care less. I cocked my head upwards and pointed a flimsy finger at the King. He looked down at me as if I were a speck of dirt. I clenched my teeth and barked at him,

"Hi! Hello! My name is Corrin, your son's whore, how are you today?" I backed up, mother being pushed backwards by my free hand and I curtsied quickly.

"Corrin! What in gods name are you-"

"What are you'd doing!" I yelled, turning my rage on her, "Why would you- How could you try and- Why!?" tears shimmered in my eyes. My body rattled with anger. Her face went serious.

"I'm an adult, you will not speak to me this way, nor, will you speak to him that way. Get yourself in line quickly before-"

"Before you what? Let me guess before you sed-"

Her hand hit my face with such force that I fell backwards into Garon. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. I was too stunned to move. His grip was hard, I knew it would bruise me. He removed one hand and tilted my chin up. My body went cold, and that burning against my skin disappeared as my rage was replace with fear. His breath smelled like rotting meat, the smell, mixed with his cologne and it made me nauseous. I could only focus on his scent. The rotting, the fragrance of cologne. Rotting, disgusting. His greening face examined me as if I were cattle. He looked right into my eyes before examining my pointed ears. The guests around us were still and quiet, some reverted their gaze in fear, others looked on in horror. He prayed my mouth open with two large fingers and looked in my mouth at my teeth. He touched one and I squirmed in his grasp. His grip tightened and I bit down in pain. He withdrew his finger before I could catch him. He let go of me roughly and I tripped over my own two feet, falling on the ground. Tears streamed down my face, helping the sting from her slap go away... and I could've sworn he murmured the words "Worthless." as he turned away... but his eyes focused right on mother as he said it. I pushed myself up and looked down at the ground silently. Tears mixed with spilt wine. A flower from my hair fell down into the little puddle.

The festivities ended with my leave. I ran and ran until I found my room. Its large bed and familiar sent was a small solace. I shoved my face into the covers and sobbed loudly, not caring to censor the little animal noises that escaped my lips.

"Wh-why d-did this h-ave to hap-pen?" I choked out. I practically screamed into the sheets as I mourned the end of my life. "Momma!" I sobbed out in grief. Something warmed at my chest and I popped up. I sniffles and touched where it warmed, my hand covered her necklace, it put out a comforting warmth that I didn't want. I ripped the jewelry from my neck and threw at the wall. My sobs grew louder and I rocked back and forth. I bit my lip. Hard. Trying to calm down. I tasted blood in my mouth. I groaned and stood up. I glanced into the mirror, my face was red, my eyes bloodshot and puffy. My face held a darker red spot and I touched it with trembling fingers. My eyes fell to my wedding kimono. Its shoulders were stained red a stark contrast to the white. It almost looked beautiful though...

My door opened slowly. Mother walked in with apologetic eyes. Tears glistened in her eyes, she held a large box in her arms. She looked at my Kimono and her eyes dropped as she closed the door.

"I'm so sorry." she whispered. I let my arm drop to my side and I sat on my bed. "I... I would never do such a thing to your father."

"I don't care about him. Why would you do such a thing to me?"

"I don't.. I was trying to but... gods, if we had just told you at the start-... Corrin... This was all mine and his collective idea. You have... certain traits that he has come to like. Your temper for one- Where's your necklace?"

"I don't want it."

She sat the box down on my nightstand and grabbed my necklace. She sat beside me and held it up.

"Please... I need you to have this. I want you to have something of your father and I before you go. Please." the desperation in her eyes coaxed me into turning my head so she could put it on. "Promise me you'll wear it at all times."

I nodded and she looked down.

"He looked at me like... like I was some sort of, cow. Like he was trying to see if I was ready to be slaughtered."

She sighed and nodded. "I won't shield your from the truth anymore. You asked me one day why he chose you, and not Hinoka. Well, again, your traits are rather desirable and rare. Your dragon blood it the purest in the entirety of Nohr or Hoshido. So pure that he and I both believe you could turn into..."

"A dragon..." I whispered. She nodded.

"Garon knows our closeness and I followed his plan if it meant your stay at Nohr could be better. He said it would if I complied. He knew if I acted close to him you'd get angry. You did, but you didn't show any of the signs. I've learned that people with your abilities, show their traits and open their power when angry," she whispered. She sounded broken, "His necklace could keep you from losing control as much your first time."

His necklace? She said it was hers. Who is he? Does she mean Garon? Father? Why is she lying to me? Why would she betray me? My mind refused to factor in all the details.

"So it was all fake, to get me angry, to turn me into some, some MONSTER!" my chest burned in betrayal.

"Calm down! Please!"

"So you're playing with the other team aren't you!? ARN'T YOU?!"

"No," her voice was rigid and cold with authority. I grasped my necklace tightly. It's heat burnt my hand and I reeled back with a gasp, "It heats up to calm you down and warn you. Please Corrin, I'm here, I will always be here for you, and I'll do anything if it means your safety. I love you my little dragon."

"Stop," I mumbled, "Please stop. Please..."

She wrapped her slender arms around me and my tears returned. I sobbed into her chest and grasped her tightly. Hours must have passed until I was calm... she rocked me gently in her arms and I held the warm necklace stone between my fingers

"Why did you hit me?" I asked quietly.

"... I don't know... but I'll regret it my entire life."

"I don't want to leave."

"I don't want you to either."

"I don't want to have his children."

"I know."

"I hope I die young.. like his brother."

"Hey. Be respectful. Promise you'll never be cruel about his brother's and sister's death." I nodded and she stroked my hair. "Why don't you open your gift?"

"Oh yeah." I stood up and grabbed the box. It was thin and very long. A little awkward to hold but, its gleaming cherry wood stared up at me beautifully. "Is it locked?" I asked as I touched the key hole gently. She shook her head. I opened it slowly to find a gleaming silver katana, beside it folded Hoshidan armor. Its white surface and silver plated bits shunned up at me. "It's beautiful..."

"Now... Garon advised us to send you with nothing from home. Not a single flower but, we got you this anyways. Made especially for you. There's room for a few more secret items if you'd like."

"How will I ever get this across the border... I can't hide it under my cloths since I'll probably be stripped and changed into Nohrian garments."

"I asked Xander earlier today and he will handle it."

"What about my necklace."

"Garon will allow the necklace and the ring- actually, where is the ring? Did he ever place it on your finger?"

"No!' I said in realization. "He must have forgotten after I-...... Well, I'm surprised a Nohrian would help me out you know."

"He's kind. He understands how hard this is on you."

"That's surprising."

"Not all Nohrians are evil. Just like not all Hoshidan are good."

"Thank you for my gift. I love it." I said with a smile. I couldn't talk about him now. She kissed the tip of my nose.

"I'll see you In the morning, my little dragon." she left my room graceful whilst saying, "Make sure you put everything you need into the box." and the door shut. I looked around my room. What do I want? I stood up and wiped my eyes, I walked to my closet and slid open the door. From kimonos to dresses. Even my training clothes, the only outfit with pants I owned. I didn't train much though so they were pointless. I can barely wield a sword. My eyes caught a deep blue kimono with pink and green flowers and vines creeping up its wide sleeves. A red sash hung down at the waist and memories flooded my mind. I took the kimono and held it in my arms for a moment. Smelling it deeply... how his scent stayed so strong in my kimono I'll never know, but ill always be grateful. Sandal wood and mint. I sighed and put the clothing in the box.

I opened the door to my night stand and pulled out a little piece of parchment wrapped up in a red ribbon, the Hoshidan crest printed at its  fraying ends. I smiled softly and put it in the sleeve of the blue kimono. There was barely any room for anything else. Maybe another kimono... flowers... flowers would do.

I grabbed the satchel off my training outfit and pulled the flowers from my hair, then I quickly unbranded it. I changed into a simpler kimono and stuffed the flowers into the bag. I needed a lot more though. I opened the door to my room and ran straight into a brick wall. I held my nose with a groan.

"My apologies." Xander's voice filled my ears. It was smooth and crackled like a fire. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"What about my father? I hope he didn't hurt you."

"I'm fine." I repeated sharply. I just wanted to get some flowers and go to sleep. Avoid this man for the rest of my life afterwards. "Excuse me, I need to go get some things."

"Ah, why don't I escort you."

"No."

"I insist." he pushed. I sighed. There's no harm I guess.

"Fine." I held out my arm and he took it in his. He must have expected a leisurely stroll. I was practically racing outside to the courtyard and he looked just as surprised as before. I needed a good final glance at my favorite place. It felt like if I didn't run to it, it would be gone forever.

I rushed outside and slipped my hand out of his arm. The lake shimmer far off in the distance and I smiled brightly. Still here.

Everything felt better in this place. I barely even registered Xander behind me. His shadow engulfing me completely. I wonder how it feels to be so above everyone? So tall, so sturdy? A breeze could whisk me away.

"It's so beautiful here in Hoshido."

"Yes." I agreed with a proud smile. I walked towards the cherry blossom trees I squatted down and began picking up their scattered petals.

"We'll have to visit this place often once I'm king."

"Why don't I stay here," I picked up more petals, "and you can visit me every once in a while once your king." I saw a little round object under a petal. I picked it up and rolled it around in my fingers, I shrugged and put it in my satchel. A seed of some sort.

"I know you hate this. To be blunt, I do too. Why should I be forced to take care of my brother's, stuck up, childish, little wife?" I froze, "I want to get things straight quickly. I can be kind, and I can be very, very, harsh. I don't want to be like my father, but I won't refuse to admit that some of his nature rubbed off on me recently. I want to make your stay in Nohr comfortable, or at least bearable. I want you to have some form of liking for me as well. I don't need a wife Corrin, nor do I need a child, My father wants this, not me, and if I could, I would prevent you from ever having to go through this. Who would want to be forced into marriage with a stranger? Your still young, and soon you'll be a queen, a foreign queen. You can't hate me then. I will be your greatest ally. But you'll have to help me out a little first so I can help you as well."

I stood up and faced him. He leaned up against a tree with that same serious face. The moon highlighted half of his face. His brown eyes shimmered softly. I waited several heartbeats until speaking. 

"I'm sorry for sneezing on you." I said simply. He was still for a moment before smiling slightly. I held my satchel tight and walked past him, he took my arm and we returned to my room at a leisurely speed. He opened the door for me and I entered. I sat the satchel in my box and closed it with a snap.

"Here." His voice said behind me. I turned and saw him holding two things. A key, and a ring. "This will keep that locked and this, this is a gift from your siblings, I had forgotten to put it on your finger at the ceremony." I took the key from his large palm and locked the box tight. When I turned he was on one knee, head bowed slightly. He looked up from his position, his brown eyes meeting my red ones. I couldn't help the small blush from creeping on my face. He was handsome. I gave him my hand and he took it gently in his. His fingers were calloused and long. In his almost simple clothes with a single breastplate, I could see little white and brown scars on his hands. At his wrist, where his shirt sleeve reached back to accommodate his longness. I could see the hint of a long lost burns wrapping around him.

He placed the ring onto my finger and stood up tall once more his hand lingering on mine for a moment before grabbing my box.

"I'll keep this safe and get it across for you, as long as you keep the key safe," I nodded and held the key just a bit tighter in my hand, "I'll be back in a moment." he left the room and I sat down on the bed. I undid my necklace and put the little key on it. I wrapped it around my neck and jumped as the door was filled with knocking.

"Who is it?" I asked, it couldn't be Xander.

"Ryoma." I gasped in surprise and opened the door hastily. I quickly wrapped my arms around him and smiled. He did not convey the same feeling.

"What's wrong?"

"I have to make sure you got the ring and... I have to say good bye before its too late. Garon has decided to leave for Nohr today as it will be a surprise to anyone interested in your affairs. Xander will come back here and will no doubt take you to Nohr right away," he spat out the blonde's name, "Corrin, I will be breaking the greatest promise I've ever held to you but I have to now since I know I'll never have the chance to tell you. I'm not your brother, we are not related by any means and I need you to take that to heart. Takumi, Sakura, Hinoka, and Sumeragi, are not related to you in any way. We have and always will love you as one of us but, you must know the truth so our lies don't cloud your judgment latter on. Your going to be Nohrian soon and your going to have to swear you'll not think of us like siblings but as the closest friends. When we are opposing rulers... promise you'll know that I love you, but I can't be your brother. I can't be your brother when I and Xander rule. I don't trust him. If his family wrongs our country, you must know that my actions will be necessary."

"What- B-brother- Ryoma- You mean I'm..."

"I've always, always loved you like my little sister but, you can't believe those lies once you rule. Promise me dearly, that you won't think of me like that when in Nohr." his tone his panicked and rushed. I can't believe what I'm hearing. He pulled me into a long and tight embrace, nearly whispering, "I'm so sorry Corrin. I love you so much, you will be a strong woman. A tough ruler, your going to be a strong element in Hoshido and Nohr. Make smart choices. Trust no here but me, Mikoto, my and her retainers, and Kaze. Not any of our siblings or father. Promise. Promise me right now."

"I swear." I whisper. I'm in shock. How can this be? What is he saying?

"I've another gift for you. A personal one just from me." he pulled away and took a little golden tube from his pocket. He showed me the end. "Father and Garon both are restricting you to send letters home but, I've found a way. From now on, when writing home, seal your letters with this and keep them hidden and with you until either Saizo or Kaze personally asks you for them."

"How?"

"Did you honestly think I would send you there unwatched? You won't be constantly guarded but once every few months they will male sure your safe for a week or two, they'll deliver my letters and yours to us. I want to help you in whatever ways I can until your queen. Then you'll be on your own."

"Do they know?"

"About what?"

"Do Takumi and everyone else know? That I'm not there sister that is." he shook is head, ruffling his long brown hair.

"Mother and Father can tell them.... I couldn't bare to let you want any longer. I'm sorry."

"No. I'm glad. Thank you B-... Ryoma." his eyes grow soft and he sighs.

"Kaze and Saizo will follow a day behind you and stay with you in Nohr for a week. You may not see them at all, and don't try to find them either."

"If.. something were to happen, what would they do?"

"If it's by anyone that isn't a royal or important, they will protect you and make sure all who witnessed their appearances forget. If its Garon, Xander, Camilla, or Azura, they can not help."

"Azura?" I question, trying to get the thought of being attacked out of my mind.

"She stayed in Nohr, she is Xander's other sister."

"I thought he only had two."

"His family is very quiet about her birth." I nodded.

"Corrin," Xander's voice is low behind Ryoma. I looked up to see that he is now in full black armor. A large word is strapped on him. He looks intimidating a stands and faces him. He barely reaches his nose, "My father wishes to leave the palace tonight. Are you okay to go?"

"......Yes."

"We'll have to go quietly as not to disturb the guests. No one knows about this besides us three. and your parents."

I grip Ryoma's seal tightly and he turns to me, seeing my disappointment in being unable to say good bye to my former siblings. I stuff the seal into my sash and look back at my wine stained wedding kimono.

"May I escort you?" Ryoma said softly. I nodded and took his hand gently. He raises it up properly and we begin leaving. We walked gracefully and slowly down the palace halls and stairs. Xander floated beside me. It was a slow walk and it felt like i'd never forget those moments. I gave mother a lasting hug and father the quickest of embraces once we were outside. Some of the Nohrian royal guard would accompany us is two separate carriages. One up front, one in back. Garon would ride in a separate carriage, whilst Xander, I and Camilla would ride together.

I stepped up into the carriage and sat beside Xander. Camilla in front of me. With the crack of a whip we were off. Slowly at first... I stared out the window at the dark palace as it drifted away into a sea of black. I sighed and looked at the floor. The dark wood was withered and old. This carriage was cramped so tight that my thighs brushed up against Xander's at every jostle. My knees hit Camilla's crossed legs. I felt cramped and awkward already. I wanted to jump out into the fresh air. How long have I been in here?

"How long until we get to Nohr?"

"1 week darling," Camilla nearly purred, "Oh, by the way, are you alright dear? You seemed pretty ruffled at the party? Your poor mother did take a hit on you as well."

"I think your father throwing me hurt more."

"Hmm, it'd do well to get some thick skin and soon then. Do you have any knowledge of weapons or... combat in general?"

"Some in the sword."

"Ah! Great! Xander, I've found you a new sparing partner! I've herd these Hoshidan are well versed in the katana as well. She'll offer a great challenge."

I shrunk back in my seat. Oh jeez.

"N-no, when I said some, I meant the bare minimum."

"Really? That silver sword of yours is a symbol of great proficiency." she held a dangerous smile.

"I... do not have a sword." I replied wearily.  

"I'll teach you how to lie, and Xander will teach you how to spar." she nodded at her statement. I looked up at Xander.

"She's helping me smuggle things across the border." he said with a grin tugging at his lips.

  
"Speaking of that, I got another gift." I said softly. I pulled Ryoma's seal from my sash and handed it to him. He nodded and pit the object under his breast plate, "where did you put my box?"

"Its with my things. If someone asks about it ill just say it was a wedding gift."

"Won't the border guards inspect your bags?"

"No, they'll only check you. They'll have you change into Nohrian garbs once we pass."

"What if they find my box?"

"They won't." he says so confidently I have no choice but to trust him. The carriage jostles as it hits a rock and I'm thrown sideways, slamming my head onto the door. Darkness flashes my vision for a split second and when I open my eyes, I'm laid out carefully on a carriage bench. Sunlight filters through the window, blinding me. I look over and find Xander sleeping with his arms crossed. He leans again the wall. Camilla yawns softly and my gaze hits her.

"Good morning sleepy head." she says with a grin.

"What happened?" I say with a groan as I sit up. A hand finds my collar bone and gently pushes me back down. I look to Xander's tired eyes. 

"The nurse says you should stay down for a while." he murmurs before closing his eyes again, sighing softly. I raise an eyebrow in confusion before letting out a tiny puff of air, almost a laugh.

"What was that all about?"

She giggles, "He's a light sleeper. Anyways, you hit your head last night, we had a nurse look you over, just a nasty bruise but you should stay lying down until we stop for lunch."

I nodded gently and stared up at the carriage ceiling. Throughout the day I was plagued with terrible headaches. They ceased as the days passed and I spent my time talking with Camilla. Xander would join in on the conversations now and then. Three days went by without any disturbance and  judgment day arrived.

My legs wobbled as I approached the gates. Two people stood guard. A woman with barely any clothes on and a man with barely enough space to see his head from all his armor.

"Your majesty." the girl said. Her curly blonde hair bounced as she bowed lewdly. Her eyes fixed on Xander. The armored man bowed as well, his armor chattered and he gazed everywhere but me. I didn't think I wanted him to look at me for fear I'd crumble under his gaze. He looked scary enough without eye contact. "My name is Charlotte. I'll be the one checking you for Hoshidan things." Garon walked beside me and handed her a bundle of black clothes and a corset. I sighed. I'd been wearing this corset for 3 days. I'd love to be free of it for more than a few seconds. At least Charlotte looks like she can't tug that hard on strings. I might get lucky.

"Let her keep the necklace and ring." he said with a voice filled with authority.

Our group followed her, the carriages made a separate path down a larger gate opening. She advised the others to wait by the Nohrian gates and she led around a corner.

"Change out of your clothes here Milady." she said with a smile.

"Is there a room of some sort?"

"No."

I decided against pressing her for a room and undressed. I slid my kimono off my shoulders and kicked off my shoes. I folded the fabric neatly and handed it to her.

"Be careful with it." she nodded but I could've sworn I saw her roll her eyes. I pointed to my back, "Can you help me with the corset?" I herd her drop all the clothes and she untied the corset. Air rushed my lungs and I breathed a sigh of relief. My arm covered my breasts but I held a hand over my stomach and breathed deeply for a moment.

"Your underwear." she said. I froze. I never thought of that.

"Do I... have to?"

"Yes." I looked down for a moment, deciding how easy it would be to run back home instead of becoming completely naked in front of this stranger, she sighed impatiently, "Do I need to rip them off you? Because I'm busy. I've things to do. Getting some tiny Hoshidan princess out of her panties was not really on my agenda." she said with venom. I swallowed thickly astounded by her harshness. I glared at her and she crossed her arms.

"Do not talk to me that way." I said with that voice my mother often used. She wasn't even fazed.

"Your nothing here yet, princess. I hate girls like you. I could snap you in half you know? The only thing you've got here is that Prince over there. Well, he's my first ticket out of these borders, I'm only calling you princess so I won't be lying when you snitch on me, when I say, I regarded her title respectfully."

"Your not very smart are you? Your threatening a Hoshidan princess on her lands? I could get you in serious trouble."

She stoped her foot behind her.

"There's Hoshido, welcome to Nohr. Take of your panties or I'll tell Garon you caused me problems."

I sighed and did so. She helped me get the corset on and I braced myself. She yanked the strings so tightly I nearly collapsed. She tied them just a little too tight and that little bit was torture... I didn't want to stand up to her anymore. My courage was defiantly drained. I slipped on the new small clothes and the puffy black dress. It made me look younger than I was... I slipped on some boots and she helped me clip on my calf guards.

"Thank you." I said simply and strode away from her as quickly as possible. I found them waiting right outside the gates save for Xander. He held out a hand for me as I approached. It looked darker on the other side of the wall. Hostile even. I didn't even realize that I stopped in my tracks.

"Corrin?" he asked. I shook my head slightly.

"Sorry..." I placed my hands in his and I cautiously walked away from Hoshido.


	2. The Screams of a Bastard

When I woke up on the 6th day of our journey, I knew something was odd. Xander was already awake and he spoke to Camilla in a grave tone. I rolled from my bench, onto the floor, on their feet, as we hit another rock. I was sure as to not hit my head. I hoisted myself back onto the bench and sat by the window. 

"Corrin, sit between me and Camilla."

"Its so cramped already, why don't-"

"Now." I was taken aback but I quickly did so. Squeezed between his thick armor and her thick thighs was not comfortable. My shoulders were scrunched together and my knees were pressed tightly against theirs. "I don't think much explaining is necessary but, your a foreigner, and my country has never liked the idea of you ruling beside me or my brother. They despise it actually. They are weary of Hoshidans in every way to the point where your people see it as physically dangerous to enter Nohr for trading. That made things worse of course-"

"Too speed this along, they want you dead Corrin. They are terrified of you ruling and they are terrified of change. You are a completely foreign concept. We're passing through a hostile, rebellious, area of Nohr currently, they hate us, they hate our father, and they hate you."

"Why did we go through here then?"

"It's the only way to Castle Krakenburg that allows us to travel in bulk like this."

"Isn't it more dangerous to travel in bulk? Garon is the only one in a separate carriage, a single flaming arrow could take us all out." I pointed out.

"Smart girl, we've thought of that though." she tapped her foot on the floor, shaking us a bit. "Trap doors here, and here." she pointed up at the ceiling. Little places with nooks just tall enough to grab onto with fingertips would allow those doors to open, "If it does catch fire, we'll be able to escape."

"So why do I have to sit between you two then?" I asked.

"Arrows can still break windows, and we can't let you die, your death could mean another war and we honestly don't want that. I'm rather fond of you though, I don't think I could bare watching you die." 

I stared at her breathlessly. Already I'm in mortal danger, surrounded by Nohrians who could kill me with a flick of their fingers. Its only been 5 days and I'm not even at the castle. 

I stared out the window stiff and scared for 2 hours. Holding my breath and my necklace the entire time. I reveled in its soft pulsating warmth. My terror made it warm. Gods was I scared. I wanted mother so badly. To hear her voice, to have her hold me. Anything, even have her slap me if it meant being somewhere near her. She's miles away and I'm terrified without her. I have no guidance without her approving glances or her split second glares. 

My eyes began to burn and my throat started getting tenser. I gripped the stone tightly as it grew warmer. I closed my eyes, trying to trap my tears. I let out a quivering breath and allowed my head to fall into my hands. A sob escaped my lips. I felt as Camilla sat on the opposing bench. Our knees brushed together as the vehicle jostled again. I bumped up against Xander and felt my arm be cut on his armor. I removed a hand from my wet eyes to see the cut. Camilla took my other hand from my face and put it into hers. She looked at my fingers fondly, I wiped my eyes with the back of my bleeding arm and I stared at the little cut. 

"It's alright dear, we're safe now. We're out of their territory I promise. It's all woods until we get home." she gave my hand a little squeeze and I nodded. She held it there whilst I tried to compose myself. I felt a warm liquid run down my arm and a gentle finger wipe it away gently. Xander wiped his hand on his clothes and flashed me a sympathetic smile. They both knew this was all too much for me. I am too little for all this aren't I? 

I looked out the window with blurry eyes. Dark clouds rolled across the sky or... was it just getting darker? I titled my head and looked closer out the window. I couldn't see the sky but just assumed it was cloudy.

I sighed and sat back into my seat. Camilla squeezed my hand softly. I looked to Xander beside me as I felt him move closer to the window. He must be wondering about the rain as well. He squinted and I watched his deep brown eyes scan our surroundings.

"We're slowing down." he said with confusion.

"Tha-" Camilla began. I gasped as the carriage shook a bit more than it should.

 

I let out a scream as the carriage suddenly shook violently. Camilla let go of me to brace herself as it began to tip sideways. I tumbled across Xander and a door opened as I hit it with my entire body weight. With reflexes like lighting, Xander grabbed me by my waist and pulled me away from the opening, keeping me from being crushed by the vehicle no doubt. 

 

It tumbled and rolled relentlessly. I herd a sickening crack and something pinched my face. Quickly the carriage slammed to the ground, bringing the horses leading us down with it. They whined and with a snap I could hear one break free. With wide eyes I looked around. Xander held me tightly in his arms, his entire body acting as a shield. My face touched grass tough I was still in the carriage and I saw that the other carriage door must have snapped off once the it capsized. Camilla crawled and looked up at the door window, now above us. Quickly she popped her head back down,

"Those rebels must have set up outside of their towns to catch us off guard." she said without any hint of fear. I shook under him

"How many are out there?" Xander asked. He loosened his grasp but, there was no where to go but to remain under him. One arm remained around my waist, whilst a hand was on my shoulder, nearly pinning me down.

"There are a lot of them but I saw a bronze sword. They could be under trained, but we could be overwhelmed if we're not careful."

"Do you have your tomes on you?"

"A simple fire tome, nothing more."

"Break the window and clear a path, go first, make sure you can catch Corrin, I'll throw her out." 

"Let me climb out." I said, not wishing to have his hands on me any longer. "I'm good at it, and I'm fast." It was the truth. 

He considered my options, checking an invisible list of in his mind before nodding."Alright then. Get out and run south. I'll be right behind you."From under him I nodded, fidgeted and my hands unclipped my calf guards. I kicked off my boots quickly. Barefoot was the best way to go. 

Camilla slammed her elbow into the window, once, twice, three times, the fourth it shattered one of Xander's hands covered my eyes as glass shards rained around us. They dug into my cheeks with a terrible pinch and I winced. Camilla climbed out and yells filled the air. 

"Quickly." Xander said from above me. He let go of my waist and I quickly climbed from the wreckage. Camilla was surrounded by people, they circled her like a ritual offering and she held a hand out, a small glow I'm her hands. Fire appeared in her hand and blasted one man away, slamming him into the carriage and making me lose footing and fall off. All the air is forced out of my lungs and it felt like I'm suffocating. I couldn't catch my breath and I scrambled onto my hands and knees. I'm frantic and scared. What do I do now? 

The smell of burning flesh hits my nose with a force and I gag. It's the worst smell I've ever witnessed. Screams fill the stagnant air and I'm glad I fell from the carriage, unable to see burning corpses. I rush to my feet, no longer caring about my lack of breath, I just want to run. I don't know where too. The sky is grey and my eyes scan the forest. Archers and swordsmen are around every tree.... they attack the Nohrian royal guard like children with play swords but they easily outnumber many of the knights, some are lost in a sea of amateur sword techniques that I couldn't even master. I look away and spot a swordsman standing alone by a tree, he seems to be as scared as me. I figure I can get past him if I'm more confident. 

I wasn't. 

I make a mad dash straight for him and his daring eyes find me instantly. I dock left once I'm close and jump behind a tree for cover. His sword knicks my shoulder but ultimately gets stuck In a tree. I grab my shoulder tightly and groan out in pain. He ripped his sword from the tree and blindly swung from the other side. I hesitated, with my cluttered mind I think that I'm faster than his sword stroke and I jumped right in front of it. His sword stuttered through my body. For a moment I think the edge is dull but, in reality its tiny barbs cause that friction. I watch, dazed, as my necklace flies off in the distance. I cry out and tumble into the leaves face down. A warm substance surrounds me and I brace myself to be finished off.

I exhaled slowly and reached my hand under me. I touch the injury and cry out. I heave my arm back to my side. Tears stream down my face as I begin to tremble. The whole world is cold to me and my teeth chatter loudly. Swords clang and screams ring in the distance. I roll over onto my back and stare up. Not a cloud in sight. The man looms over me, something on his face. He gasps and his hand trembles as he raises his sword up. I realize what's on his face. Disgust. He brings his sword down and I grab the blade. My hand is a deep blue, the color spreading upwards, its patches grow up my arm and to my fingers. My nails grow outwards painfully, blood seeping from under them. 

I hold the edge tightly and watch as blood,leaks from my hand. It's red color is deluded slowly until its as clear as water. What's happening...

I stare with half lidded eyes as the sword shudders past my grip and is an inch above my throat. I push and my hand only glides up the blade. It doesn't hurt any more. It's as if my arms and hands are covered in scales. Soon I find some friction and with barely any strength I was able to push him backwards with such force that it knocked him down. 

I hear him cry out in pain and I hear the sound of swords and the smell of iron.

"Cor-" Xander says out of my range of sight. I stare at my hand as it begins to tremble with rage. Why is this happening. That strange liquid drips down onto my forearm and I gasp as I feel a burning on my chest grow hotter, but the necklace isn't there

Whatever is causing it feels as if its burning a hole in me. I cry out and arch my back. I roll back over and lift myself up on my hands and knees and lower my head. I shake it violently and cry out as the top of my head feels as if its splitting open. I slam a fist onto the ground as my back retrieves the same experience. I hear a rip and suddenly my body is racked with an unbearable pain that my mind can't handle. Right as it reaches it's crescendo my brain shuts me off, I black out. Or partially.

In my haze I hear screams and see those attackers under me. Everything burns like a fire in my chest. I hear a deathly groan, like a demon crying out from hell, so loud it scares birds and wiggles trees.

Everything is black and grey. I see rope and I see someone. He bares his teeth and smiles. A man runs behind him. I feel myself raise an arm high.

My head is slammed into the ground and that smile is now the sickening face of a mad man, blood runs down his face. I'm intimidated and scared and I hear a muffled, painful cry. A familiar necklace is shown to me for a split second. It glows bright white and someone struggles to place it on me.

Everything is dark and chaotic in my mind and all I can focus on is the burning. Soon it's replaced by a frigid cold.... but it's soothing. My whole body seems to relax into a little puddle. I fall even deeper into that calming feeling of sleep. I feel like my body floats in my own personal ocean. Its cold but I revel in the feeling as I sink deeper and deeper until I can't even think.

My eyelids are heavy when I open them again. A blanket is wrapped around me and there's an almost uncomfortable pressure on my chest. A long line throbs from the left of my collar bone to my right hip. My right hand has the same pressure and throb. I look up and see the splotchy yellow of our thick fabric tents we've use to sleep in for night or two. I preferred these from the hard carriage bench and its rocky ride. A lantern is strung down from a high tent pole. It's dim.

 

I feel dizzy and sticky. Unclean. Weakly I bring my uninjured hand up to touch that pressure. I feel bandages wrap up around me from my hips to my neck. I let out a raspy grunt when I touch the throbbing line. Pain pangs through me and I tense up, only making it worse. 

"Relax."

I watched sleepily as Xander came into my line of sight. He sat down on the ground beside me. I let my arm roll off my chest. My fingertips poked out from under the blankets. I took slow deep breaths that only stretched the pain.

"What..." my voice is raspy and thorns prick my throat "w-water..."

He nods solemnly and leaves. I lift up my injured hand from the blankets. A clean bandage is wrapped tightly. I weakly pull the covers down and look. I'm mummified in bandages, light red blotches line across me.

Xander returns and has a sack in his hands. He pops off the cap and gets back down. He tips the end to my lips and I drink greedily. My hand keeps it to my mouth as he tries to take it away.

"You'll get sick, slow down." he pulls it from my lips and I sigh in relief as I bask in the liquid's coolness. 

"Something happened..." I stated. He looked at me, those emotionless eyes giving no hints. He blinked slowly and I began to cough. I hoisted myself up on my elbows and hacked relentlessly. My lungs burnt. Xander put a large hand on the back of my neck. I turned to my side as something expelled from my mouth. I stared in pain and looked down at the little puddle of red. I put a hand on my stomach and my mouth hangs open in pain. I wheeze and cough again, blood dripping from my lips onto the blankets, my hand trembles and I turn my it over. Blood covers my palm and I fall back, drained of all energy. Xander supports my back, keeping me from hitting my head, he sets me down gently and quickly looks me over.

He lifts up some of my bandages placed on my stomach and I squirm. His jaw stiffens and he lets the wrapping fall. He's gone in a flash. I mull out a groan, letting the noise hang in the air. My arms can't keep still and I bend my knees and let them fall flat at random intervals. My whole body starts to shake and I feel something warm running down my side. I crane my neck to look down. Red. The deep color spreads slowly across the bandages.

Tears burn at my eyes, am I going to die before I even get to Nohr? In all the weeks of writing letters to my late Fiancé, or having wedding dates switched... I never thought of the possibilities of danger or deaths even. Now I'm bleeding out in a foreign country with a man I don't know caring for me. I've never thought of death though, that's why I never trained. I saw no need to. I was relaxed and happy in Hoshido, even when I knew I'd be sent away I never realized how dangerous this all was. I've always been so careless, now I'm dying. 

"Gods help me." I whisper quietly.

"I think her stitches came out." Xander speaks softly.

"I-I'm sorry Lord Xander. I'm not as skilled as our nurse was she-" a girl replies frantically.

"Just stop her bleeding again. She can't lose much more before she goes into shock. Hurry."

"But if they won't stay in-"

"They just need to last till we get to Krakenburg. Quickly please."

The second voice looms over me and his eyes widen I'm shock.

"She's awake? Do we have anything to... keep her stable? I don't want to be in her way if she gets upset again."

"She'll be fine. Just get to work!"

"I'm sorry Milady, this will hurt. Keep still" She says softly. She reaches into a little bag she must have brought with her. She pulled out some scissors,a needle and some thread. She cut upwards until she found where she'd begin stitching. She threaded the needle and took a deep breath in time with mine. She quickly ran the needle through me and I cried out. I held onto the tent bottom tightly. She stitched me together like a doll and by the end of it I can barely see her over me. I'm light headed and I struggle to stay awake. Even as Xander looms over my face and speaks with authority, I can't help but think of something else. Mother... no.. Ryoma.

I have to write to him if I make it through this. Yes... I'll tell him I was injured and he'll get someone to tale me back to Hoshido. He'll have to. My life is in danger..... wasn't Saizo and Kaze going to protect me? They were supposed to be coming with us this journey right?... why didn't they step in..

I sighed softly when the "stitcher" wrapped new bandages around me. That pressure is comfortable... it makes me feel stable, like nothing will fall out or something. Her and Xander talk about something and she leaves. Xander is back at my side. It's hard to focus on him as he keeps on talking. He's taken on a softer tone. Almost teasing.

"You ran the wrong way I hope you know."

"....Into... his sword?"

"Yes... and when you went East, instead of running South. I couldn't find you at first."

"Hoshido." I whispered, of course I ran that way... Home was always eastward, that's what I was taught from the day Father was kidnapped till the day I was stolen. I couldn't tell if Xander caught my tiny confession.

"Your so small, maybe if you weren't tiny you would've been able to handle this better."

"I'm not... small."

"Oh, yes you are. I've never met a tinier person."

"...Your just too tall."

He smirked and let out a little laugh. I rolled my eyes and shook my heavy head. His smiled softened.

"You had me worried there, little princess."

"Don't call me that." I said weakly, his smile remained. This was the first true conversation I ever had with him. He stayed quiet for a few moments. He found the sack of water and put it to my lips again I drunk it happily and sighed once it was gone. He grabbed the blanket that was at my feet and pulled it up to my stomach. He put his finger right over my side and invisibly traced a line that went across my breasts and to my collar bone.

"The sword cut you from there to there. It was barbed and it pulled out some skin but your injuries could have been much worse."

"How?"

"It missed severing your stomach and lungs by an inch," I looked down at the bloodied bandages and imagined what it looked like under them. I turned my head away as my stomach began to feel nauseous. "Corrin. Your mother told me about you on your wedding day. She told me what you could do and what you could be..." he paused and looked right at my hand. "You have a deep cut on your hand from a sword that nearly hit your neck.... and rope burns on your back and legs. Why you have them is what she told me."

"What happened?" I asked quietly.

"... when I found you, you held a man's sword in your bare hands without even flinching, without seeming to care. You pushed him away -with your almost fatal injuries- as if he was nothing. Then I saw your hand. You had scales. Claws."

"Wha-... please... be more vague."

"Corrin, you turned into the likes of one of the dragons we worship. Your mother told me you might be able to, but... I didn't believe it. You had wings and horns, four legs. You were a dragon," his eyes met mine and did not waver, "The necklace she had given you is the only reason your still alive. Its the only thing that calmed you down... you changed back to a human soon after we put it on you. If you hadn't you would've bled out."

I stayed silent for a long time afterwards. Questions racked my mind. All I could see was that disguising hand holding the sword. Claws. Skin too thick for humans. My throat tingled as I remembered the roars. Terrifying screams and roars that bubbled from my own chest. No. That thing, whatever it is, its not me. What am I then? If I am not my Father's child, or my Brother's sister, my late fiancé's wife, or even human.....then what am I. I mulled over everything I knew for sure about me...

My hair was white. No my hair was blue... almost white though. My eyes were red. My ears were pointed. I've been lied to since I was born. I hate my new life. 

I don't know who I am... that's what I know. The simplest things... I don't know what I like, what I want. Who I even love anymore. What am I... a dragon and a human. The two at once and its disgusting. 

What am I?

I'm a mutt. A disgusting little mix of feral dragon and ignorant princess. 

Once I come to that realization, I force my tears back for the first time in my life. They burn my eyes and close my throat as the pain of it all fills me. My body burns, my heart aches. I want to go back home to the lies because they kept me happy. They made me feel safe in the middle of a war that seemed to never stop until I came kicking and screaming at 17 years old into a new world. 6 days in and I have scars like my brother did after he went on "hunting trips" alone. When those hunting trips began, it seemed a rebellion in Cheve always began...

 

 

 

I woke up to Camilla patting my arm. I blinked the haze from my eyes away and groaned as my body ached.

"It's time to go dear. Here, I'll help you get up." her voice was soft and calming. I shook my head weakly. It dully throbbed.

"I can't... it hurts too much." I whispered.

"Your going to have to. Father want to see you and I can't carry you to him."

"Please." Camilla giggled and shook her head. "What if my stitches break."

"Thick skin dear. Thick skin." I didn't think she meant it literally. She supported my back and I stood up. I gasped and went limp against her. She adjusted herself to keep me from falling back, "Come on, you must get up. He'll think you're weak if you don't."

"I can't" I nearly sobbed. She looked into my eyes and nodded slowly. She kept one arm on my back and another under my legs. She lifted me up. My face scrunched up in pain. She held me close to herself. "I'm sorry this happened to you... Your beautiful skin is all torn up now thanks to me. If I were quicker at attacking those devils I could've helped you." she said compassionately. She walked gracefully from the tent, barely any bounce in her walk though it still affected her... other areas. 

I looked down at my feet, anywhere but the sky, to see lose black pants, they were too long but comfortable. Those pants, I believe were all I wore, bandages acted as my makeshift shirt. I shook my head, I can't think about my injuries again. I looked up. I closed my eyes, unable to see the black skies of Nohr, as if they would cause even more pain. I focused on my necklace, it was dead on my neck but, I was amazed by it even more so now that I know why it works. It warms me when I'm nearing to turn, calming me through heat. Once I turn though, I'm hot all over and I faintly remember its chilling cold calming me as well. It must work through some magic. I was never well versed in scrolls, nor did I study in magic too intently, so I could never tell another soul how it worked exactly.

Camilla stopped walking. "Xander." She said quietly. She must have thought I was sleeping. I didn't open my eyes.

"Let me take her to him. You can go help the soldiers ready the carriages."

"Xander... be careful with her. I don't know what he's thinking, and if she says something unruly..."

"She won't."

"I'll see you in a little while Corrin." She must have known otherwise then.. she hands me over to Xander and I'm pressed up to soft cloth when I expected hard armor. His arms around me are strong but gentle, whilst Camilla's was dainty but aggressive in a way. Like she was a mother bear protecting her cubs.

"Corrin, I'm going to be in there with you but keep in mind that my father is very intense. There's a limit to how much of him I can protect you from. He's still my king, more so than my Father." I opened my eyes and gazed up at him. Though I dislike my father... he was never a king over being a father. When I was little -before the kidnapping- he put his family first. He put me first it seemed. He loved all of us so deeply and truly and there was never a doubt in my mind that I wasn't his. He was my father and was never my king. Did Xander even know what having a true father felt like? Maybe not. In truth do any of them know what its like to have a real Father? I nearly laugh at myself once we enter Garon's tent. In truth I don't even know what its like to have a real father. 

 

Garon's tent was large as he stood at the end by two lanterns. A large bedroll with woolen blankets and pillows surrounded it like a nest. A great axe leaned against the tent wall, making it bend outwards. Garon's cologne was strong but, that familiar scent of spice all in their family has, is fainter than before. He walked towards us. He still wears thick armor and I notice his white beard is finely groomed. A little line of black hair runs down through making it look like a rag tad skunk.

He smiles triumphantly and I finally look up at his face. I gasp without thinking as I see it. Scars run down the left side of his face. They are jagged and newly stitched, the grey skin is grotesque and plump, his old wrinkles meld together into the scars. A black patch lays over his eye. The right one looks at me triumphantly. He smiled widely, like a child finding their once lost, favorite toy. He takes my chin in his hands and looks me in the eyes. He opens my mouth and shoves a finger in, searching my teeth before pulling back, his grin widens. I snap my mouth shut tightly but trace my tongue over where he touched. My canine teeth seem just a bit sharper.

Garon took my hand and examined my nails, blood crusted under them. He chuckled and let it fall. He looked insane and once his eyes meet mine I looked away. I look up to Xander. He watched his king cautiously. He doesn't look fazed.

"I doubted it at first... but you've made me change my mind. I thought your mother lied to me about your abilities, but she was right. Gods was she right." his tone wavered to a mere whisper at the end and I tensed in Xander's arms. I winced as my skin tightened and pulled at my stitches. "You're dismissed."

Xander left the tent without any hesitation. We're in the same wooded area as before but blood and bodies covered the grounds, I gasped and turned my head away. 

"It's alright." he murmured.

"All those men are dead aren't they?"

"Yes. Some of ours too."

"Are they.... I.. aren't they going to be buried."

"More of their kind could attack us in the time it takes to bury them."

"Your just going to let them rot?!" I yelled. I looked up at him.

"We can't risk more deaths by-"

"In my country its a disgrace to the bodies if they are left uncovered. Their souls will wonder in pain forever if you do not bury them, please!"

He looked down at me. His jaw tightened.

"Jax!" Xander called out loudly. A man with black hair turned around and jogged to us, jumping over bodies as he went. He bowed deeply.

"Yes sir?"

"I want your group of men to stay behind and bury the dead."

What?... My lord, we can't possibly-"

"The rebels were weak, they could barely hold a sword for 5 minutes. I trust you all can handle them if they return?"

"Yes but-"

"Besides, if their friends return once we've all left, to find them rotting, it would only make them more disturbed. So bury every man, put up a post where they're covered."

"What of our casualties sir?"

"Burn them. Take the ashes to their wives. Buy vases from one of the near by towns but don't wear your guard armor or pendant. I'll give you the money for the supplies and rations for your trip back as well. Go on foot."

"Yes sir."

Xander switched my position and held me with a full arm and a little of his other as he grabbed a pouch. Jax took it from his hand and thanked him. He ran off to his men.

Xander took me to a carriage. It was bigger than our old one, the seats were cushioned with a deep red fabric and stuffed with comfortable cotton, but the windows were just a bit smaller. He gently sat down and laid me out on the same bench. My head was laid on his thigh and the rest of me was able to lay out, my feet touching the door of the carriage slightly. I adjusted my head since it was on top of something uncomfortable. I was able to maneuver around it with a huff.

Though I didn't like being so close to him and the spicy smell that ruined my already terrible wedding day hung I'm the air, I was grateful for his choice of simple clothes and for his pants. What I would do to be in a dress, or anything that would be a proper cover for my chest. A kimono would be so nice now... I turned my head up to him.

"Where is my box? Did it get lost in the commotion?"

"No. Its fine."

"Where is it."

"It's safe."

"That's not what I asked." I replied sharply. He sighed impatiently.

"It's under the seat. All carriages have secret compartments for things."

"Who's carriage is this?"

"My Father's." I was taken aback. 

"You would put my box in HIS carriage!?"

"Exactly. He trusts me, little princess. He wouldn't expect me to sneak something by him, let alone for something to get snuck by him in the first place. If its right under his nose, he'll never find it."

"Don't call me 'little princess.'"

Camilla and Garon entered the carriage. She sat down at the far end, in front of Xander. Garon sat on the other side. Camilla watched him with her eyebrows raised slightly. Garon stared down at me, a crooked scowl on his face. We waited there as the royal guardsmen rushed to get our mess packed and put upon a now free carriage. We still had one carriage with guards in but over all, we were down one. The one I was in previously had flipped and broken a wheel, a horse had ran away due to the commotion. They couldn't find it and eventually gave up. 

I jumped as a sickening smack filled the air. The carriage began moving.

"When will we be at the castle?" I asked.

"Tomorrow morning." Camilla replied. I sighed softly and looked at the ceiling. Another thought popped into my head. Xander had put Ryoma's seal in his armor. Where is his armor?

"Xander..." I whispered almost silently. He didn't hear me, "Xander." I said a little louder. Nothing. "Xander!" I said again. He looked down at me then to my bandages.

He opened his mouth but I shook my head. He raised an eyebrow. I looked to Garon, he gazed out the window, scowling. I mouthed the words "Seal." After a moment of translation Xander's hand tapped his thigh, right above my head. I gave him a nod.

"Corrin." Garon said from nowhere.

"Y-yes?" I was quick to reply. He eyed me for a moment before going back to the window.

"I'll give your injuries a week at most before we hold the Nohrian wedding."

Ah yes... I'd forgotten the second wedding. Another terrible day to remember. Maybe I can redeem myself from the last one. 

"What if I'm not healed by then?"

"You'll still walk. My people prefer power and strength, if they see a weak Hoshidan walking with injuries, they may respect you. If they see a little girl being carried they'll think she's a weak little foreigner with no place."

Anger popped in my chest.

"Be quiet! You know nothing of my situation!" I yelled loudly. 

"Corrin!" Xander's voice bellowed, he looked sternly down at me. I scoffed as he looked up in shock at Garon. Garon laughed, loud and strong. He leaned over and I could smell his terrible breath.

"Wash your mouth." I snapped. His laughing stopped abruptly. He grabbed my face tightly. My legs kicked up to protest but in response my gash burned. I let out a long breath.

"'You know nothing of my situation?'" he mocked, "Child... I know your situation better than you do. Do you know who mommy loved when her husband was taken? Do you know who mommy loved to make you? Do you know what mommy said to me?"

My necklace burned against me. I bared my teeth and raised a hand to slap him, but he grabbed my wrist so tightly... I winced and crumbled. My whole body gave out under his crushing grip. Tears streamed down my face as my mouth was agape. Little noises escaped my throat as his grip tightened slowly

"Your a disgusting thing. A quivering, sobbing, little half breed. Your disgusting...... Corrin... let me ask you something. Do you know who your father is?" I cried out in agony as the grip got tighter.

"Father! Stop now!" Xander put one of his large hands around Garon's wrist. Garon's gaze did not falter from mine. He brought his hand from my face to smack Xander so hard he moved just enough for my head to fall from his leg. Camilla gasped. Xander grunted and held his eyes closed for a moment. A little noise filled the air. Like metal hitting the ground. I froze, but I didn't dare check if Ryoma's seal was alright. 

Camilla put a hand on his knee. Xander exhaled and opened his eyes. He looked dazed but mostly blinked it away. Xander's hand was gone. In the corner of my eyes, I saw another hand slowly reach downwards and grab my seal. 

Garon lifted up my face with his hand. 

"Answer me girl."

"N-n-no... I-I don't know" I replied breathlessly.

"Pitiful." he scoffed, "Disgusting." he let my head drop and I let out a sob, "Whelp." I couldn't move.... I couldn't turn away... I couldn't run.... I was stuck... I was stuck here in this colder, darker, version of hell.

Xander readjusted me and put my head back on his thigh. I turned my head to face the backboard of the bench. My long curly hair covered my face and I brought my uninjured hand up to covered my eyes with my wrist. Sobs racked my body and I shook violently. I froze as a hand began to stroke my hair gently. I let out a puff of air, a tiny smile on my face as I remembered how mother had done the same thing before I left so many nights ago. I let myself ease into his touch as my tears continued. His large hands were gentle and caring, their soft nature made me cry not of sorrow but of a longing. I wanted to be home with mother and fa-.... I want Ryoma.... I want the fake family I had. I want those warm lies. I want the happiness and loneliness, but I wanted to be caressed and loved to make it feel better. I want this. But not by him. Not by this stranger...

I cried myself to sleep and awoke the next day to the carriage's slow stop. I kept my eyes closed as my cut throbbed. Cheers and angered cries filled the air far behind us. 

"Corrin." Xander said softly. "It's time to wake up."

"I can't move." I said groggily.

"I know."

"Welcome to Krakenburg."

 

The carriage jostled and lost weight as Camilla and Garon left. Xander got out and picked me up and out as well. The air was cold around my bandages and bare arms. I opened my eyes and saw tall walls in front and behind. A large gate closed loudly behind us. I looked eagerly around to see clusters of black trees that held few leaves. Shrubs and tall grass were about every corner. Little cobble stone pathways surrounded the interior walls and lead into dark openings. The farther out I looked, the more clustered the grounds became, with more vegetation and grass but... not a flower in sight.

Xander tightened his grip on me and e started walking.

"My things." I whispered. There was no need as Garon was far ahead with Camilla. From one of the afar openings a girl walked through cautiously. Her clothes were dark. But her hair was a light blue like water and from afar, I could see the yellow in her eyes. I looked up and saw a deep bruise on Xander's cheek. I sighed softly. I didn't want to be his wife but, I'd never wish harm upon him. Seeing a bruise on his unwavering face was... unnerving. I looked to where Garon grabbed, a dark blue fingers surrounded my little wrist.

"I'll get them don't worry. Now we need to get you too a proper doctor."

Xander began walking. We walked down a thin cobble path and approached the three. Garon walked away just as we approached.

"Oh my." the woman with blue hair said in alarm. Her voice was light and airy. Ghost like, "You need a cleric and quickly, it could be infected already."

 

Xander nodded in response.

"Quickly!" she urged. She wisped away daintily and we followed. Downwards we followed spiraling staircases lit by blue flame torches. Down and down we went, those endless stairs made me think I was going to be out in a dungeon. I was sadly mistaken.

Once we made it down we emerged outside on a long stretch of bridge. I looked upwards and saw the ground miles away from us. Ahead, was the castle. It was nestled in a protective hole so deep and wide wyverns and their riders could run free. Laughs of joy and few yells escaped two riders as they twirled around each other. We walked the bridge and passed a man. Xander nodded his way and he bowed his head. 

"Good day lord Xander, welcome back." he said changing his course to join us, "Nasty cuts on that little flower.The doctor is out in the town getting supplies. Should I fetch him?"

"Please."

"Of course. I bid you farewell ladies." he bowed and we made eye contact. He winked and my face flushed red.

The blue haired woman looked at me with a small smile before turning back as we entered Castle Krakenburg. We rushed through winding hallways that grew more extravagant and wide as we progressed. Maids and butlers greeted us with low bows. A maid bowed so low she even fell. Azura stopped and we left her behind as she helped the woman. Once she caught back up with us we entered a large room. 

"I'll go help Laslow with the doctor, Azura, come with me, I need to talk with you."

"Oh... alright." the woman replied. Her name was Azura. Azura looked to me for a moment before leaving, as if I had some form of guidance to give her. Xander closed the door with his foot. The room was warm.... A large and tall bed -to me- sat in the middle of the room. It thick, deep crimson sheets, laid out over pillows the same color. Red was the color of wealth. Red dye was the most expensive to come by in both Nohr and Hoshido. Nohrian though... royal Nohrians, were much richer than Hoshidan royals. A select few in Garon's council that were simple nobles that had more money than my family did. 

Xander laid me down and I had a better view of what I assumed to be his room. It all smelled of that spice. His bedding drowned me in the smell. It was strong, but not unpleasant. Though it made my nose tingle until I adjusted.

A dress stood left of the door. Above it was a large painting of 5 children. I recognized 3 of them as Xander, Camilla, and Azura, but two I did not know. An open box sat on the dresser along with an endless amount of letters stacked, they were tied together with a thin string.

A table with a single chair stood at the far end of the room as the room was more left going. Merely a few feet going right awaited that side. Only one of the two night stands and two doors stayed on that side. The table had a map covering it, pins stuck in certain places and a little gals weight held down one corner whilst tea cups did the others. It was yellowed with age.

Xander sat on the edge of the bed next to me.

"This is my room. It's on the westward side on the groundless floor. The royal hallway. Me and my sisters live on this hall. My study is near as well. You do no, under any circumstances, go anywhere, without my assistance, until I find you suiting retainers. Now, I'm going to tell you something very, very important," he crosses his arms and lightly taps his heel against the bed's dark wooden surrounding. "Under here is a secret passageway. It takes you all the way up to ground, or can take you to up to our barracks and dungeon. Only I have the key to go that way. The other way is free to use but, only for emergencies. Do not tell anyone of it existence, promise me."

"Does your father know?"

"No. Nor can he."

How many things has Xander hidden from this man he calls his father?

"I'll keep it a secret to repay you for keeping mine."

"Thank you."

I nodded. The door opened and through came a ruffled doctor holding a large bag. He was old and looked wise even beyond his age.

"This is her?" he said, disregarding any royal blood in the room. Camilla's dainty hand shut the door for the Doctor.

"Yes." Xander replied. The doctor scoffed.

"I can already tell this will be bad. You should give those damned soldiers medical training. Instead of relying on magic to heal wounds. Clerics can't mend everything and the sooner off you realize that, the better off you are. Especially when you're a warrior like yourself."

He cut off all my bandages and I covered my breasts with my arm. Wincing as my arm laid over my cut.

"Lady Corrin, you're going to have to move over your arm to I can see your entire scar."

I didn't budge.

"It's nothing I haven't seen before. How about I introduce myself before we go on. My name is Nicholai. Please, remove your arms." I complied and he examined my injury.

"How bad?"

"It looks like that soldier was trying to sew up a slab of meat. It's puffy and there is pus in some areas. It's infected, but with my skill I think we can salvage her.... I'll have to take out those stitches and clean out the wound... Lord Xander, get me 3 buckets of water and maids on the ready."

Xander disappeared. And Nicholai dug through his bag. He pulled out a brown leaf. 

"Chew this." he put it up to my mouth and I did so, but regretted it. It was bitter and burned my mouth terribly. I tried spitting it out but he scolded me so terribly I swallowed. Xander returned with maids and buckets and sat them by the bed. He stole a glance at me and I gave him a glare. I'd scold him later.

Soon I felt an odd tingling in my body and my vision was blurred or doubled.. maybe both.

"She doesn't look well." Xander's voice filled the room.

"I gave her some pure medicine. It'll dull the pain, we're on a shortage of medicines that cause unconsciousness since Hoshido is trading well with us. She'll pass out at some point though, once she does we just have to make sure she's asleep and not in shock. We can't let her lose too much blood."

His blurry form disappeared and reappeared. Something glinted in his hand.

"You there," he threw something, "Once she begins bleeding, keep it off me as best as possible. Xander, I know you don't have a weak stomach. Help me clean out the pus and disinfect it." he threw something else. Two forms came to the bedside and the doctor began.

Screams rung through the castle that night. Every waking hour was filled with pain as he removed stitches and got rid of infected skin. I could not breath, nor could I think as I writhed. Shapes held me down as I let out excruciating cries as pain of the same level racked my body. I went unconscious many times, to be awakening by the doctors slow work. His stitches were slow but tight. No force in the world could make them rip, or that's what I wanted to hope. 

It wasn't until dawn that he finished his work. He was exhausted and it seemed like the experience humbled him. I was awake, and the effects of his leaf had gone away hours ago. My bandages were snow white, like my skin, the sheets were new, I was clean and exhausted but sleep couldn't take me. Even as my mind numbed my body from the pain... I couldn't sleep as my own screams replayed in my head. 

The door clicked and the doctor and maids were gone. Xander pulled out a chair and sat right beside me. A single hand laid out from under the covers as I stared blankly at he painting. His warm fingers were a stark contrast from my cold ones. He held my finger as if they'd shatter... it felt as if they could. At any moment I could crumble, but now I stared blindly, emotionless at the painting. I stared at a blonde's face. He had deep brown eyes and wavy blonde hair. He looked strong and powerful, uncaring and mean but he held my hand gently, carefully, at one of my lowest points, carried me when I couldn't walk. I still disliked this man... but I couldn't be blind to what he is.

Then my eyes saw a man, a boy, in his shadow. He looked like him, blonde hair eel brown eyes but he held himself differently. I looked at the letters under the panting and back at the boy. It finally clicked.

"Leon." my voice had no sound. And as I cried, letting out every pain and sorrow I've held since the day I was told of my betrothal to this dead man, it had no sounds either. Only tears and my trembling form suddenly surrounded by Xander's as he holds me tight in his arms. Embracing me , until my tears couldn't flow and I only trembled and breath sharply. He stayed with me, even as I refused to eat and drink, and as the skies go darker again.


	3. Citrus Waltz

I forced my crusted eyes open painfully. My stomach growled wildly. Light from a dim candle flitted across the walls, and deep snores filled the cold air. My slow eyes found Xander laid back in a chair, mouth agape, arms crossed, far from the bed. A long leg was crossed over the other, and his head was aimed downwards just slightly. A long turf of blonde hair hung in front of his face. His whole body moved with his breaths.

I was sore all over. My scar ached deeply, but it felt stable and held together. My necklace hung down at the tip of my injury, it warmed me gently, and I sighed softly.

With a bout of courage and will power I sat up and leaned weakly against the headboard. I moved a pillow to support my back and bit back a groan. It hurt but, I could manage with Nicholai's skill. He's almost as good as our own doctors in Hoshido. We've always had high performing doctors and farmers. The soil is fertile enough to grow the herbs needed to make medicines and more. Our crops are plentiful and we always seem to have more than enough. We've not had a food shortage since the last war. Nohr though... it seems something is always going wrong with their food. The soil is never good enough. The crops are always sickly and are in little abundance. Nothing grows in Nohr without a lot of effort and pain. There are almost as many farmers as there are soldiers here, but there's never enough food. Nohr is too big and wild for its own good.

I looked back over to Xander. The bruise on his cheek was just a bit darker today. It was a sickly blue color that stretched from his jaw to under his eye. What a useless thing he did to bare it too. Garon didn't even flinch at his little challenge, he just got humiliated... in the end I wish he didn't interfere... then he wouldn't have gotten hurt.

His eyebrows twitched, and he stirred in his sleep. With a groan he straightened up and uncrossed his arms and legs. He rolled his shoulders, and his nostrils flared as he yawned. His gaze slowly found me, and he nodded slightly.

"That's good... your sitting."

"I'm hungry." I said. My voice was broken. Destroyed from my screams of pain and sorrow.

"I'll tell the maids once they come in." He stood up and went to one of the two mystery doors. He entered and I leaned to see what was inside as the door closed partially. He emerged with black clothes in his hand. He walked over to his dresser and placed the dark circlet showing his royalty on the open box. His hair seemed to sigh in relief after being freed. He entered the other door, and for the short time the door was open, I saw little black and white tiles decorating the floor. The door shut and I was left to myself.

I watched the painting carefully. Leon's eyes stared at mine intently. His straight blonde hair hung down and his head was raised high, proud. Beside him was a little girl. She smiled so brightly and so wide It made my heart flutter just a little. She held onto her brother's arm tightly, her blonde twin tails reached past her waist, little purple ribbons twisted through them, her eyes were closed, and she looked truly happy.

I looked down at the box on Xander's dresser. His royal circlet shimmered in the flickering candle light. I wonder if I'll be forced to wear one like that, it's thorn like structures surrounding my head. Maybe it will be like Camilla's and protrude out like horns. That girl, Azura, she wore one as well. It was a stark contrast to her hair. The dark thing was thin, and a design like waves, or dull spikes poked about. It was the most calming of all the crowns.

The door opened and Xander walked out. He was in a formal black suit, holding something in a bare hand. Yellow patterns adorned his selves and collar, but it was over all boring. He took his little crown and placed it back on his head. He ran a hand through his long locks and turned to me. A little red, round, container, with writing on it I couldn't understand too well. "something, something ointment." It could be salve or medicine. I'm not well versed in Nohrian script. Hoshido and Nohr speak the same language, but our written versions are very different. I was surprised when Leo was fluent in our written language. It impressed me to be honest. I knew some of the basics in Nohrian but, not enough to write a letter.

"Nicholai gave this to me yesterday. It's a salve to put on your wound. He said to apply it once every day until your fully healed."

"What does it do?"

"It will help with the infection and numbs the pain. He said you could be able to walk today -with some help- if its on." my eyes brightened alitle. I've been in bed for 2 days and unable to move for nearly 4. My legs ached to be in use.

"May I see it?"

"Would you like me to do it?" he asked politely.

"No. Well, I might need help with the bandages. Don't look at me this time once they're off please." I said with venom.

"I promise I've no intent to," he walked to me and I did my best to sit up straighter, but only winced and leaned back again, "Are you sure you don't want me to help more?"

"Positive. Can we just cut these off instead of unwrapping? For the newer ones, I'm sure you must have some bandages around." he nodded and leaned over and took something from his boot. When he came back up a dagger glinted in his hand. I was astonished. He cut me from my wrappings and put the waste onto the floor. He opened the salve and placed it in my hands. He left me and went back into the tiled room. I put a glob onto my finger tips and took a long deep breath.

The wound was puffy and red, stitched together so tightly it almost hurt. My stomach lurched at the sight. I knew now I couldn't stand blood or injuries. I turned my head around quickly, making my hair smack my in the face. I put a hand over my mouth as I refused the urge to vomit. It looked so disgusting.

"Xander." I called out weakly. He came out of the room with a roll of bandages and a hair brush with a little purple ribbon tied around it. He sat down his things on the night stand beside me, and sat down. Without any reply, he took the can from my hands, sat it down, and with two fingers took the glob from my fingers. Carefully he placed a dab on the bottom of the scar and I gripped the bed sheets tightly. I gasped as the salve burnt me. It stung me to my bones, and I winced, sucking in air sharply. Xander shushed me gently, his touch became even lighter, like a feather almost. I watched him through watery eyes as his fingers drug the salve upwards, burning my skin before going cold and becoming numb. Slowly they went upwards, between my breasts and at my collarbone. He added a second layer of the salve and then cut up new bandages, wrapping me slowly. From my chest to my waist until he tied them off and looked up. I rubbed my eyes, "Thank you." I said breathlessly.

"Your welcome." He removed himself from the bed and disappeared into that room again. He came back out with a towel, getting the salve from his fingers. It must be a bathroom.

"Would I be able to bathe yet?" I asked.

"The maids bathed you after your wound was stitched again. You can go ahead but I won't be able to re do your salve until later on, I've business to attend to."

"What's so important?"

"Papers and I have to calm down the maids as they flitter about for the wedding. If they could they'd shove you in a dress today, but Camilla has made a point of her dressing you, and picking out your clothes. Speaking of which, she'll be coming down to check your sizes and buy you your own clothes."

"Whose were I wearing a few days ago?"

"Camilla's when she was much younger." A knock filled the room and Xander opened the door. I couldn't see much of who was there, due to his tall form filling the door way. Though I could see two sets of black heels in the doorway, "Good morning Felicia. I thought your sister was coming this morning?"

"Good morning, She didn't feel to well and sent me instead. I'm not fired from this job am I?! I can't cook or clean! I can barely wash clothes and I rip things, please don't send me back to the maids quarters if I am! They're terrible! I love just having to share a room with Flora and Gunter. They don't try to murder me in my sleep!"

"Calm yourself," he said sternly, "your not fired, now help Corrin get ready. Go to my sister's room and ask her for dress and then get her a specially made meal from the kitchen master. Make sure her taster has some first though. Try to help her walk as well. Get her used to moving."

"Of course."

"I'll be back to check on you in a few minutes," he said turning to me. I nodded slightly and he turned back to the maid, "Excuse me." he left the room and a little maid stood in the doorway instead. Her long ,pink, hair was pushed back into a high pony tail and her icy blue eyes stared at me. A quaint smile covered her face. She entered and closed the door behind her.

"Oh!" she said with a start as the back of her uniform got caught in the door. She tugged at it and turned to get a better grip. She slipped and hit her face right against the wood, a rip filled the air and I stifled back a giggle. She popped up her head and let out a nervous laugh, her face was redder than her hair.

"I-I'm sorry! I'm kind of clumsy... My name is Felicia." she bowed so deeply that her hair touched the floor and I could see the rip in the dress was dangerously close to her rump.

"Hello." I replied blandly.

"Uh... Your hungry right?"

"Yes."

"Uhm.. what would you like?"

"Food originating from Hoshido. Rice and sashimi, something along the lines. Take your time though."

"I'll do my best! I'll be right back!" she ran off, and I was completely alone once more. I'd rather be alone than with those Nohrians. I don't want their maids, nor do I want their disgusting food. I don't want their clothes. I don't want their castles. I don't want their prince. I sighed and let my head fall down, down to the floors and found dried blood spattered on the ground. I swallowed thickly and looked away. My legs ached with pins and needles and cried out to be awoken. I needed to move...

I tested the salve effectiveness and found I could twist very slightly and even bend a bit. Slowly, I swung my legs out from the red covers and over the bed. I groaned, the bed was too tall for me. My feet couldn't even touch the ground from the mattress. I pray my legs are strong enough for this little drop.

I tumbled from the bed and onto the cold floor. The dark marble slapping against my face. I groaned before pulling my heavy body up. My arms shook but I couldn't care less. I had barely had enough strength to get out of bed and for some reason, one word compelled my body to move: Escape. I had to run... I had to run from this place now, when it's least expected... I have to leave.

I want to go home, no I need to go home. There was no doubt in my mind.

Camilla was sweet, but so passive aggressive and... secretly demented, that she scared me. She was able to burn a man without even thinking about it. Watching as they charred and illuminated the would around her. Garon was insane, looking at me with filled with lust over my abilities. Xander, he almost seemed to care, and I don't want that. I don't want his pity, his compassion, I. Don't. Want. Him. If he does care for me already, I'd want to run even further away from him. His Nohrian blood disgusts me. His family disgusts me. His large hands, the strong jaw, long legs, firm everything, I hate it, because I know... if I were in a different situation, I could love him. At least for his looks. He was handsome, and I couldn't deny that. Maybe his looks and features didn't disgust me, maybe it was how I knew, deep down, he was one of the most beautiful men I'd ever met, and I was disgusted at myself for being able to admit it so freely if I had to. It doesn't matter how he looks though... I don't like him.

Xander's voice filled my mind.... telling me of a secret passage way right under his bed. I got onto my hands and knees and clawed at the wood surrounding his nest, searching for anything to open. A line, a bump, gods anything, please, let me leave. This is not right. This is not my fate and if it really is, I'll spend my entire life running from it. I am NOT married to Xander. I am NOT a damned half breed. My brother is Ryoma, I have two sisters and another brother, King Sumeragi... is my father.

Nimble fingers found a little seem, barely wide enough to get a grip on, but I managed. I slid back a panel, steps led down into darkness. I looked down them terrified, but the thought of staying here was more horrific. I was always told of the gruesome infighting here in Krakenburg... murders, kidnappings... people disappeared left and right. Garon was even attacked by one of his guards one night, many years ago. He should've died, but that's not my hate speaking. The gods saved him and that's the only reason that old monster survived.

I crawled down the first steps in just my bandages and lose pants. These ones were red, still Xander's. I turned and slid the panel shut, surrounding me in darkness. Cold fear chilled me to the very bone as I crawled blindly down the stairs. Wind blew through the endless tunnel, drips and my breathing filled the moving air. Something scurried across my hand and I cried out, pulling away my hand, I tumbled down the stairs and landed in mud. A flash filled the air for a split second but It slipped my mind the moment my nose registered the dank scent. I gagged at the smell and pulled my self up onto my weak knees. I wiped the mud from my eyes and threw it on the ground. I herd sloshing around me and I looked blindly. Twisting around and trying to find the noise. Fear gripped me tightly. My necklace glowed and faintly... it glowed.

"Oh my gods." I whispered. The little light illuminated barely an inch in front of me but.., it was something. It was comforting but went away the second I felt safe. I have to stay scared to give myself light. It's the only way I can make it through the tunnels safely. Who knows what could be down here.

I focused on anything to scare me but the moment the light came I'd feel better knowing no monster was in front of me. I felt something brush against my leg and I cried out, falling back into the mud. Bright light filled the tunnel for a moment but it went away just as fast. Damn it! Fear wouldn't stay forever..... but rage could. I got back up to my knees and took in a deep breath. I closed me eyes. It wouldn't take much...

_"Please, Corrin, you must understand the situation I was-" father said emotionless. Who was this man?! I haven't seen him since I was barely a child and he comes into my life, the life I had such a tight grasp on, and stole it from me. Stole it and handed it to some filthy Nohrian prince._

_"I don't want this! You don't know who I am, what I am. You haven't seen me since was little, and-and you just hand me over to the men that wanted me in the first place. Oh! But since it was for the greater good of Hoshido its supposed to make you my Hero?!" I screamed. My eyes burned with tears. Betrayal and hate filled my veins. I hated him._

_"I saved you from a lifetime of war with my sacrifice!"_

_"YOUR sacrifice?! You sent ME to our enemy- sorry my enemy, since you've cozied up next to them and gave them your daughters hand. Oh yes father you saved me... you saved me from Nohr when I was a little girl. Wasted so many years in prison for nothing in the end. How does it feel, to be an absolute i-" his hand made contact with my cheek so hard I stumbled back into the chair I had jumped from long ago. I held my cheek and stared up at him-_

I had to stop. My whole body shook with anger. My cheek stung at the memory. More memories flooded me... Takumi avoiding me, Ryoma working endlessly, Sakura standing up for me, Hinoka training to save me... Mother-... her whispers to Garon. Her betrayal thick in my throat.

I growled and opened my eyes to find light emanating throughout the entire tunnel with ease. My fingers began to burn, my spine and head ached. I stood up as if my injuries didn't exist. I felt numb to everything but the burn in my chest and fingers, and my aching spine and head.

"Disgusting." my voice was low and gravely. A feral sound. Nothing about this was human. Normal.

At the end of my sight I could see a rickety door falling of its hinges and I trudged through the mud barefoot. I followed the small tunnel and looked forward. Rats scurried over my feet whilst roaches flew from wall to wall. I slammed a hand against my neck to crush one and winced as it splattered against me, claws dug into flesh. I looked down at my hand, my finger tips were scaley and my nails were sharp. I scoffed and watched as they grew. I hate this.... its ugly. Terrible, and I'm graced to have this demon inside me. Ripping through my skin when I let it. The dragon only grew more upset as I insulted it, pain only grew worse. My head wanted to explode by the time I reached the door.

I opened it and saw two ways to go. Left or a path straight ahead curving right. Left.

My nails traced up my sides impatiently as my spine throbbed. I moaned out and put a hand up to my head. It flowed through hair before finding something solid. My eyes widened and I followed upwards. Fully formed horns it felt like. Like a deer's but smoother and just a little thicker. Sweat rolled down my face as I continued my path. I grabbed my necklace tightly as fear gripped me. What if I turn again? Can I with this necklace on? If I did would I be faster? But could I control it?

What am I doing!? This is like making a bargain with a demon! But, I doubt I could make It back into the castle as a dragon. The steps were very close to the underside of the bed. One part of the tunnel is blocked off and the other leads outside of the castle. If I did turn... no one could get hurt, unexpectedly at least. I might as well know what I'm fighting against before I lose control accidently.

Pain boomed through me once I made the subconscious decision. I felt my bandages rip and I fell into the mud. My spine felt as if it was ripped from my body. Like My head had been scalped and my nails ripped off. My gums bled. My fingers bled, but not as much as before. I stared blankly at the stinky mud as I tried to handle the pain. I was partially human. My fingers twitched, along with two new sensations. It felt like I was a child learning to walk. I couldn't tell what these things were. One was painfully trapped under the pants I wore, on my lower back. The other ripped my bandages apart and were right in between my shoulder blades. Slowly I willed them down and I was surrounded by what seemed to be wings. White and blue patterns covered them and I let them go limp. I must have had a tail under there as well.

I couldn't move even if I wanted to. I was all used up and dirty... the mud seemed to wash off the salve and my scar burned terribly. My necklace was so bright it burnt my eyes and gave my already throbbing head something worse to cry about. I felt a roach land on my face and I was stiff. I closed my eyes and shook as bugs and rats crawled on me. My wound throbbed as mud seeped through ruined bandages, behind my eyelids I could tell my necklace stopped glowing and I gave the new muscles on my body a twitch. I wasn't angry anymore, yet the appendages stayed.

My fingers twitched as a rat crawled over them. I let out a shivering sigh as I realized just how cold I was. Nohr was such a cold place... in books I used to read.... It was force fed into my mind that it was cold and dark but... it was much worse in person than anything I'd ever read. I thought Nohr would be chilly... not so cold that snow threatened to fall at every hour, even once summer rolled by. I thought the skies would be grey but alas, they were black for what seemed like every hour. Save for an hour during the afternoon when the sun rose above the mountains. Of course that little bit of information was brought to me by those deceiving books.

I herd sloshing around me. Bigger rats. I thought to myself, I chuckled but regretted it... that deep sound rumbled through me, startling me. What am I? Truly, what could I be? Who could my mother had loved to make me who I am. Maybe she could have been the one with draconic abilities and my father was human. Maybe he was tall and strong. Maybe he was a king of some far off land where they don't send children away. Maybe I truly have siblings... maybe a little boy and little girl I could teach how to... I don't know anything to teach.

I herd a gasp and my eyes shot open. My necklace was dimmer but still illuminated a good foot around me. Something, no, someone behind me is terrified. I let out a slow groan, not knowing what I want to accomplish.

"What is that?" a male voice asks weakly, disgusted more than terrified. His voice was tinged with an accent I didn't know.

"I don't know." I reply softly. Though low and wild, my voice is still feminine in a way. Another gasp. Sloshing came in front of me and I could see dirty, thin, feet. Long toenails and calluses on them. A callus nearly engulfs an entire toe. I watch through my hair as he crouches down. A boney finger moves my hair from my face. I look up sleepily and find purple eyes, almost grey, staring at me. He pushed some matted, white, hair behind an ear. It's so long and... it could be brown its so dirty. He smells of the mud in this tunnel, and I nimbly resist the urge to gag. He let my hair fall, and brushed the bugs from me, only to have more appear.

"It's a girl then." he said softly... "are you of the likes of Wolfskin or Kitsune?" his voice held the twinge of an accent I'd never herd before. It sounded as if he rarely spoke, as well.

"In a way." I muttered.

"A dragon then?"

"Yes."

"Human?"

"Yes."

"Both?"

"Yes."

"Whatever you are, don't linger here.... the crown prince wanders the corridors, if he were to find you... well, lashings would be an easy punishment if he doesn't free you from your miserable form."

"Who are you." I whisper.

"Nobody."

"Name." I said weakly. My strength was dwindling. He was quiet for a moment, as if it took time for him to remember.

"Jakob. You? Or do your kind have names?"

"Corrin." he gasped and loud sloshing accompanied it. His voice was farther away, he pleaded desperately,

"Gods... whatever you must do, do not tell the prince of this... he'll have me killed for sure... Hoshidan are known for peace correct? Then let me have mine...."

"Why would he kill you?" my voice was quiet.

"Stealing and trespassing for 8 years is no simple crime."

"What have you stolen?" he didn't reply, I decided to use my power to my advantage, "tell me, or he knows what you've done." he was quick to speak.

"Food, jewels, anything to just be fed, and have money to be fed. I just need enough food to leave this place.... I just need my strength. Please... forget this ever happened, I beg you. I won't bother you. I just need to leave Nohr and I'll be out of your hair, probably before your even Queen."

With my last bits of strength I pushed some advice to him,

"The tunnels don't go to the kitchens....."

I drifted into unconsciousness and floated gently in my ocean. It was deep and dark... warm in some places, cold in others. The tunnel man, Jakob, seemed to await me in the waters. He was sickly thin, I could see it from his toes and hands... his face was pale and his eyes were yellowed. He needed bathing and trimming.

What was most captivating about the tunnel man, was his voice and what he had said... though the voice was unused mostly, it was proper... trained up like how a butler would speak to their masters and mistresses. Most of all though was how it seemed like he hated Nohr just as much as I did. That was just enough incentive for my mind to hatch a plan. Surely he's living on the castle grounds... I float up in my ocean, it's cold and almost unpleasant but I'm fond of it either way. I suddenly realize how stupid I am.

If I were to make it from the tunnels.... what were my chances of ever even making outside of the city and onward? I'm very noticeably foreign and I'm not a good liar. I could be killed between my first stride and heartbeat outside of these walls.

 

 

 

I woke up clean and nearly naked under the sheets of Xander's bed. I laid on my stomach with the covers on the middle of my back. I brought a hand upwards and felt horns. I sighed deeply and let my head fall into the pillow. I herd gruff laughter behind me.

"I have a very simple question for you," his voice was calm and monotone. His patience for me was nearing to snap, "Have I been rude to you?"

"Yes." I cut that thin string of his, the thing holding him together, so easily, so quickly, I think I even surprised myself. But the snapping of his patience, though calm and collective, was more terrifying than any outburst I expected.

"... yes, saving you from rebels was very rude of me. Forgive me for not watching you bleed to death the second day you were in Nohr, for not allowing a man to slit your throat, for not letting my father break your wrist and turn you into some chamber maiden. For protecting you from him before I even knew your name, I'm sure being a useless slave, beaten senseless and used for my own pleasure would be a great life to live? Chained to a bed till I was sick of you? Yes... I'm sorry I stayed with you when you were vulnerable, when I could've taken advantage of you, even now, I could've taken what I pleased and I'm so sorry I'm not a man of that level. Gods forgive me for not turning this naïve and ignorant girl into a damned whore. Listen to me little princess, listen closely and never, ever, forget, if it wasn't for me, you could have a much different lifestyle. I know you want to blame me for all this but... I'm the only reason your not being whipped in front of Nohr's people as they cheered on the brutality,"

I see him come into my view, my face is against the pillow as I grip it tightly. He sets a little metal object by my nose, Ryoma's seal,

"This is the only thing that connects you home. They don't know what goes on behind our borders... all those terrible things I described, could have happened, and they would have never known. Little princess, I've done more for you in the span of 1 year, than your family did in 17. I'm the only thing keeping you from becoming a filthy slave. I've respected you, and been nice, all I want in response is the same. I would like to trust you, but going into those tunnels broke my trust. I rarely trust people, let alone give them second chances. Don't disobey me again." his calm rant hit me like a pile of rocks and I quivered as tears welled up in my eyes.

I listen as his footsteps leave my side and the bedroom door opens.

"I'm sorry." I whimper like a child being scolded by a parent. He's so right... and I feel terrible.

The door doesn't close for a while but once it does I burst into tears. How many times have I been reduced to a sobbing mess. I bring my hands up and hold my horns as I cry into the red pillow. I'm angry again but I can't figure out at who or what at first. Then my mind settles on my horns. I can't stand their feeling and I push down hard, trying to force them back inside of me, but my scalp is tender and my hands are weak. I cry out and shake my head vigorously, throwing me off the bed. The covers came down with me, offering censorship to my almost naked form. How could one get clothes on me in this state anyways? I spin all my anger onto the dragon inside of me.

I sit up, the blanket still covering me, and slam my head against a wall. I didn't bother to look up at the world around me, instead I focused on slamming my claws into the floor as hard as I can.

"GET OUT OF ME!" I roar. I don't want to be this damned mutt. I'll rip off every scale if I must. My fingers ache as I jam two fingernails. I bring my claws up and scratch at my upper arm, the scales are thick and large but as I attack myself only water flows from my veins. I cry out in anguish and attempt moving my wings. I've no more control over them as I did before. Useless things... I can't destroy them if they don't work in the first place. That tail though. It already hurts from my fall. I slam my head against the wall, my horns burning and aching deeply with each blow. I must be insane.

My claws come back up to my arms and I try scratching again but large hands gripped my wrists. I looked up with wide eyes and saw Xander's deep ones. He must have never left the room.

Those brown eyes showed me emotion... the slightest amount of it... sorrow. Maybe pity but... sorrow filled them. It gently caressed his features almost naturally. For a moment... I believed that was his natural face, a sad one. His eyes now, I could see everything in them. From those brown orbs I could see how deeply the somber sadness laced with in him. His eyes met mine and the emotion was gone.

"Calm down." his voice alone was calming. Curiosity must have taken over as he, almost timidly, slithered a hand up from my wrist into mine, the fingers finding the tips of my own and squeezing gently. Rubbing right by my claws. The other gently rubbed the skin between my thumb and palm. My body tingled warmly and the scales on my arms slowly faded away.... the claws turned into fingernails and I felt much better. "Odd..." he whispered to himself.

"I'm sorry.... thank you." I've never really been to polite with him before.

"Your necklace must prevent full transformations. It calms you but... I guess it can't reverse these half transformations by itself. Either way, your draconic aspects are gone."

"Thank you." I repeated. Xander reached behind me. I leaned backwards to avoid him being too close. When he came back he held my brother's seal between his thumb and fore finger. The metallic object, no bigger than a needle's length and as wide as one of his fingers shimmered in the dim light.

"Be sure to write him often," he held it out to me and I took it into my palm, I closed it and felt its cold metal warm in my hand. His dead eyes met mine and I stared breathlessly. He looked empty when forcing the emotion from those eyes. I wonder if he knew how expressive they were- of course he did, that's why he hid it. A single glance from those orbs could let you see everything he didn't want you to. He looked so grief stricken and I think deep down I knew why.

"Leon...." I said softly, his eyes hardened and his calm face went stiff, "Were you close?"

 

He stood up tall and turned around heading for the door to leave for sure this time, "Felicia left you some clothes in the bathroom, I trust you can make it by your self?" though it was more of a statement than a question. He left the room quickly.

 

 

After a few minutes in wait I stood up and found the bathroom. My legs were shaky but relatively stable. My bandages were wrapped tightly but awkwardly around me since they had to accommodate my wings, I was glad since I doubted my ability to do them myself.

Inside the bathroom it was tiled in a checkered pattern, it was large and inside was not a bathtub, but a bathing pool. It was tucked away in the far corner of the room and a damp, green, towel laid where steps creeped into water. I gaze at it, longingly wishing to take a bath consciously. I walked around the cold tile, examining the room. A vanity sat with cabinets and drawers still open. A mirror stretched to the ceiling beckoned me. I walked to it and I came into view, the lower corner of the mirror was cracked, every little shard spread out like a spider's web.

Hesitantly I looked up to my face. I'm paler than normal. My peach skin now a milky white, my cheeks being the only part of me holding my old skin tone... or have I always looked like that. My eyes seemed almost redder, my ears more sturdy, my teeth seemed even a bit sharper. My hair though... that blue was just a bit more visible. I knew it was. It was still closer to white though but, even so... the blue was just a tiny bit more noticeable. Little cuts covered my face, they must have been from the glass and wood of the carriage when it flipped and when Camilla shattered glass. I put a hand on the side of my neck and I vaguely saw what seemed to be... burns. Rope burns. I blinked a few times and I decided it was time to put on that dress.

I found it draped lazily on a wooden fixture attached to the wall -meant for towels or robes- and held it up to me. The hips were a bit to large from what I saw, along with the chest. Defiantly Camilla's old ones. I can't wait to have my own clothes... maybe I can pick them out personally.

I slipped the thick, black, dress on. The sleeves by my shoulder were puffy and short. The white fabric underneath showed through, making it look a but more ruffled. The same effect happened on the ends and it fluffed me further. I slipped my necklace from under the dress and looked in the mirror. My white hair pooled around my shoulders. I looked so young in this little frilly thing. My baby face and tiny stature didn't help at all either. Maybe it was the bare feet... no matter what happens, I'll keep my feet bare for as long as possible. Shoes be damned.

I jumped as a knock sounded throughout the room. I rushed from the bathroom and opened the door. Felicia stood with a tray of food. She let out a long sigh of relief. I let her in and she sat the tray down on the table. I sat at the single chair. Now that food was in my sight, I needed to eat everything I could. My stomach wanted to digest itself. I grabbed a fork, I was so hungry I didn't even look at what I was eating but nearly choked as I tasted it. Rice. I looked down and saw a bowl of rice and cut up fish.

"I... we didn't have anything extremely Hoshidan so we cut you up some smoked salmon. I hope it's alright.... I put the rice in the bowl."

"It tastes nice."

"No... I just put it in the bowl."

"...W-well, thank you. What time is it?"

"4 in the afternoon, you were gone for awhile. When I came back into your room you were gone and I thought 'she must be in the bathrooms!' you weren't and oh gods... Xan- Lord Xander was furious! I'd never seen him so upset! I was sure I was going to be fired but low and behold, he came back up to me just a bit ago and asked me to give you the food we prepared earlier. We heated it up for you too!"

"Thank you."

"You must be feeling better, you were standing. If you need help though, I'll always be available. Well me or my sister."

"You have a sister?"

"Yes, I believe I mentioned her this morning. Er.. maybe to Lord Xander though, anyways, her name is Felicia. She's a bit cold but we both are." She giggled at herself. I tilted my head and she shook hers, "forgive me, we are from the ice tribe. We were born and raised there, our father is the chief of the village you know. Because of our origin though, we used to be on wake up calls for the castle." she held out her hand and little bits of ice and cold mist flowed from her fingertips. I smiled in amazement. An icy maid, how interesting. So odd that the chief's daughter would be a lowly maid though...

"If you are a chieftains daughter, why would you be here, serving me?"

"I-I... We- He didn't want us to-..." she was quiet. She looked to the floor as she stumbled over her words. I swallowed a mouthful of rice painfully and said,

"You don't have to tell me."

"Oh... I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not being able to tell you."

"I don't mind. I'd be lost without the things I keep to myself."

"Like what?" I nearly giggle at her enthusiasm. Her face goes red as she notices my smile, "ah! I'm sorry, that's improper I-"

 

"No, not at all, you know, at home, I've read every book in our library twice, and I could tell you about every single detail in every book, but... I can't read a word in Nohrian."

"I love reading you know! I can read in Hoshidan as well as Nohrian."

"Really? Who would have taught you?"

"A Lord by the name of Silas. He comes by the castle now and then, once his parents died he inherited a large amount of land and wealth. He rules a few territories under Garon's watch. He's very nice... I served him in one of his extended stays and he taught me to read in Hoshidan."

"I've herd that name before... he's been in my Mother's court before, I think. Does he own land by the southern borders?"

"Yes."

"Ah! I have herd of him before! He tried negotiating trade a few years ago, then the year after that, and after that. He always made a point of talking to me... hmm... ah yes, I believe he was one of my suitors long ago as well."

"Lord Silas? How did you refuse him!?"

"I would have rather been to my own devices than ruling his little patch of land with him... I did consider it, though he was Nohrian."

Now that I think about it, it seemed that all my suitors where Nohrian.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he attended your wedding. Xander no doubt invited him, they are friends in some odd way."

"How so?"

"Silas respects him endlessly but he knows he's Xander's only bargaining chip to calm down the rebels and get the borders and trade under control. He uses his position wisely to say the least. He's been able to convince Xander to rebuild towns and offer aid to the smaller, poorer areas, once he's king. Even give Silas a place in his court once he rebuilds it. Silas' requests for his territories are simple and honorable though. He just wants them to have food and houses honestly."

"Huh... " That little explanation confused me. That's just one mans needs and actions, how will I fair when its thousands? I was never meant to be queen. Mother's little laugh filled my head, she had chuckled when I said that before. Maybe my real father was a king. Maybe I am eldest of brothers and sisters, "How did you know all that in the first place."

 

"Oh! W-well, I was his maid when he came and I was to accompany him in case he needed anything. I just overheard that."

"Are you like that with every visitor?"

"Not always but sometimes I am."

I nodded. Time to start being smart, right? The work of a queen begins before your coronation. Might as well know about all my neighbors.

"From now on, if we get a visitor of power or wealth, you will be their maid. Accompany them everywhere, then you'll tell me everything you know about them. Can you do that?"

"Of course."

I smiled and took another bite of my food.

 

 

After I finished my food and Felicia left, Xander returned as sleep began drawing me in, with a long wooden box in his hands. I eyed him curiously before nearly jumping from the mattress.

"Is it all in there?" I asked quickly. I threw the covers off but as my feet neared the drop I decided to stay in the bed.

"I didn't check." he sat the box on my lap and I tried opening it. I raised an eyebrow before I remembered the key beside on my necklace. I took it off and opened the box. I sat my necklace beside me on the bed and gazed at my things longingly. The kimono... so beautiful. I sighed and closed it, locked it tight and handed it back to him. I slipped my necklace on whilst I watched Xander go into the closet. Once he returned he was barefoot and in black night clothes. They hung loosely around his frame. He locked the bedroom door and I eyed him cautiously, "This door must be locked at night. Maids are fickle creatures." he flashed a small smile and I blinked back at him.

He sat his crown in the box and sat down at the single-chaired table. He looked my way again.

"Throw me a pillow." I grabbed one and chucked it at him. He caught it and put it behind his back with a slight sigh. I watched him as he gazed up to the portrait looming over the room. His gaze met with Leon's, then the little girl's. His eyes dimmed and there was the emotion he seemed to hide. It washed over him softly, basking him in a throbbing sorrow. I could see the pain in his eyes. I realized then that, his eyes weren't always so blank, that... they used to convey everything at some point, but he ripped his greatest feature from himself.

_"Mother! I got another letter from Leon!" I chirped. The boy had grown on me. We did have a few things in common and he seemed to enjoy talking to me now. We bonded on our mutual hate of this but, I think we've grown to be relatively accepting. I am at least... as long as I'm able to trudge through it with him._

I watched Xander quietly. His gaze switched from the two siblings yet, they always lingered on Leon's. His adams apple bobbed and he took a long breath.

_I opened the letter with my index finger, ripping the seal off as quickly as possible. It popped off easily, as if someone had done it before and re-stuck it.I pulled it out and paused. Over the past months his handwriting has been changing but, now it's completely different. Neat, cursive writing stared back at me, more proper and calculated than the scribbled cursive Leon dabbled in. My eyes racked the letter nervously._

His eyes fell to his hands and he cracked his knuckles absentmindedly. He glanced to the painting then away. To and fro his eyes went before they settled on the door to the hallway, but it seemed as if he gazed much further than the door.

_"~To Princess Corrin,_

_The honorable Prince Leon of Nohr had fallen ill many months ago, his sickness had finally taken hold of him as of late. He has been cremated and ashes spread over Nohr's forests a fortnight ago. I give my condolences to your family._

_~Crown Prince Xander of Nohr"_

_Such a simple and short letter, packed so much grief in me. Yet, I couldn't shed a single tear._

Xander closed his eyes and soon, the man was fast asleep, soft snores rang through the room's chilled air. I curled up in the thick blankets and held them tight around me. I let out a puff of air as my teeth chattered. I hate the cold. Why is it so cold here. My annoyance led my necklace to warm against my skin. I smiled softly and fell asleep to my own bickering.

 

 

The news of my travels spread quickly throughout the castle but, where I went was secret. Only Xander knows I went through the tunnels luckily, but Garon knew I moves freely so, the date of the Nohrian wedding was moved to one day away. My blunder caused me a whole lot more walking the next day for sure.

 

 

I had a single day to do the impossible.

 

 

I was awoken to a cold rush of something. Felicia was in a hurry for sure. She dressed me up in another black and puffy dress. Some slightly heeled shoes and brushed and tied my hair up so quickly I barely had time to breath. I held the start of my pony tail tightly to release some pressure off my scalp to no avail. I thumbed at the ends of the ribbon holding my hair up. It was a deep purple with the Nohrian crest at each fraying end.

I took another bite of my breakfast and nearly choked at Felicia tightened my ponytail yet again. I coughed and took a sip of milk. I groaned as she brushed my ends out.

"Keep eating please Milady, It just bacon and eggs."

"It's disgusting -the bacon at least.-"

"You need all the energy you can get for today. Your going to be on your feet as long as I am, maybe more."

"What for?" I began sipping my milk.

"You don't know!? The wedding has been pushed up to tomorrow!"

This time I did choke. I coughed and grabbed a napkin to reflect the flying milk from the single-chaired table. I sputtered and gasped for air desperately.

"Oh gosh! Are you alright!" Felicia yelled, she panicked as I shook my head. Not to alarm her but to tell her I was fine, it must have been lost in translation. I caught my breath and calmed her down. She sighed and nodded.

"Wh-what do we have to do today?" I asked

"Well... you must be fitted for a dress, then you must memorize your speech to claim your loyalty to Nohr -which will be recited during the wedding- , then you'll have to learn how to dance."

"Why do I have to swear my loyalty to Nohr? Isn't my captivity enough?"

"Sadly it is not."

"Then dancing?"

"Yes ma'am!"

"I'd rather break my feet."

"At least its the last thing you must do."

I sighed. I had danced only twice, once with Ryoma at a banquet and once with Kaze at the same banquet. Ryoma suffered serious injuries but Kaze... he led me through the entirety of the song. Able to keep me from falling or stepping on him. I was grateful for that much... I think sometimes... I might miss Kaze he most. He's around though, at least I think he is. Ryoma said Saizo and Kaze follow us, so there's a chance they've been watching me since I came. Its a comforting thought as I've always been used to being silently watched. Kaze was my only retainer. He was my protector since he was of age, but he was the one who wanted to be my retainer. I always thought he was until the day he asked so many years ago. His little letter wrapped in a red ribbon. I accepted his offer instantly...

I gazed at the closet. Would it be improper to read it the day before my wedding?

A knock at the door made Felicia jump. She opened it quickly and bowed deeply afterwards. Camilla strode inside and cupped my face into her hands and she pursed her lips slightly.

"You look so cute." she giggled before letting go, "Now, lets go so the tailor doesn't keel over."

"How long will this take?"

"Mm... until Xander decided to teach you how to dance."

"What about memorizing that one thing?"

"You'll do that while we're fixing the dress."

"Its already made?"

"Oh yes, long ago, back when you were with Leon. We just need to adjust the sizes and hymn things, then finally stitch it all together."

I nodded. She took my hand and I stood up from the table.

The walls of Nohr were highly decorated. From pictures that could reach from one end of a hall to another, to lines of armor standing at attention. Maids scurried the halls, giving us a quick bow before continuing their run. We passed an opening door and a familiar blue haired woman walked from it. She caught up with us and walked beside me.

"To the tailor?" she asked.

"Yes. Would you like to help Corrin with memorizing her oath?" Camilla replied

"Of course." she replied. She smiled at me, "I don't know if I ever properly introduced myself but, my name is Azura."

"Ah, hello." I replied with a smile. She looked ahead and we weaved through hallways until we found a room with a single door. We entered the small room and inside was a fire place, bed, mirror, and a short round stool for me to stand on -I assumed.-"

A crotchety old woman hobbled up to me. She was even shorter than I was. Her old white hair was tied tightly up into a bun, sewing needles and pins were stuck into the bun without much of a care. She pulled out a tape with measurements on it and wrapped it around my waist whilst leading me to the stool. I stepped up and she wrote down my measurements. Then my hips, shoulders, bust, and breasts.

"Give her some room in there please." Camilla asked. Innocence lacing her voice. The woman nodded and began her work. She grabbed precut white fabric and began pinning things together.

"Do you know any of the Nohrian Oath of Loyalty?" Azura asked as she took place in front of the flaming fireplace.

"None." She nodded and looked up for a moment. She nodded and crossed her arms. She smiled.

"This will take a while anyways, we'll have more than enough time."

For 5 hours, the tailor sewed my dress then added hundreds of little pearl beads and diamonds on the dress. I was refused sight in the mirror until it was over with though, so I fidgeted impatiently and got stuck with the needles many times. At some point the woman asked to take my necklace off and I refused so heartedly that she seemed to stick me even more.

In the time it took to get the rests finished, I had the entirety of the "Nohrian Oath of Loyalty." so deeply engraved into my mind that I knew it backwards and side to side. It was a sickening piece of literature, forged by Xander's grandfather's, grandfather's, great grandfather. It was made once the war between dragons ended, and they slowly began disappearing from the earth. Apparently in the libraries Azura has personally seen the original copy. She said that Nohr's document protection process is second to only Hoshido. I was proud of my home to say the least.

 

Once the dress was finished, and I was done bleeding, I was able to see in the mirror. They rolled it to me and I stared in shock.

 

It was a white dress that cut in my waist before rolling out and pooling at my feet. It's top would have to be tied like a corset, I knew i'd still have to wear one though. Pears and diamonds played out an interesting scene of flowers at the bottom of the dress and right at my waist. It was beautiful and shimmering. So many things were going on that in made my Kimono in Nohr seem simple. My only problem was that the breast area was a bit too big. Just a tiny bit. Just what Camilla wanted. The tailor sat on the bed and began sewing little shiny bits into the end of my veil as well.

 

"This will be finished tomorrow." she said grumpily. I was slipped out of the dress and put my black one on. I nonchalantly kicked my shoes away, hoping they wouldn't notice.

"Why don't we meet Xander in the dance hall?" Camilla inquired. Azura agreed but set off once we left the room.

 

My bare feet padded against reflective floors as we traversed the halls.

"You know, Xander has been dancing since he was a boy. He only became well once he hit 15 though. Actually, that was the year everything seemed to change."

"Really? To me it seemed like he's been dead and serious his whole life."

"Not always dear. That started last year. In truth he used to be the little misfit in out family. Barely looked kingly. A sickly little boy you know. Like your brother Takumi."

"He's not sickly!" I defended. She giggled and nodded.

"Well... he was a sickly boy. As children they even considered me to be for the throne instead. He was shy, nervous, timid, the boy could barely lift a plate he was so weak. A poor little quivering child..." it was disturbing how evil she spoke of him, "One day, he took up the sword, and he trained every night. His entire personality changed in a matter of days. One day he completely disappeared with father. He was gone for days and we feared the worst... but he returned even stronger, and with a sacred sword only herd of in legends. Only he can wield it, touch it even. His power now is... astonishing. He's stronger than our father by a great margin.. its unreal."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"He wouldn't at this point. Later on, maybe."

We treaded down wide stairs and found ourselves into the ballroom. Tables were set up, an orchestra fiddled and tuned with their instruments. A maestro flipped through his music and asked the crowd to be fiercer with their movements. I looked upwards and saw the ceiling was a dome and a sunroof at the peek filtered rare slight sunlight down at us. On the ceiling were old depictions of a war. A dragon with a porcelain face stood tall around 3 other dragons. Five men stood at their base holding weapons up whilst a war of men and demons went on around them.

 

Beautiful...

 

 

I tore my gaze away and saw Xander waltzing lazily in the middle of the enormous room. It was more than three times the size of Hoshido's ballroom. It was unreal. Xander turned and saw me. He wore a white shirt with the sleeves rolled. Black pants and black shoes approached us formally. Xander's stray hair bounced as he gave a small nod to Camilla. She returned it and left the ball room.

"Your legs have cuts in them, are you all right?"

"Yes. The tailor was a bit harsh." I muttered. He nodded and held out a hand. I took it and he led me to the middle of the room.

"Have you ever heard Nohrian music?"

"Have you herd Hoshidan?"

"Yes. I know it's miles apart from what we create."

"I've never herd Nohrian music." I replied. He let go f my hand and he pointed to the orchestra.

"It can be very intense at times. The specific song we'll be dancing to is to is fast and unrealistically difficult. But ironic."

"How so?" I inquired whilst watching the maestro drop his papers. He scrambled onto his knees to grab them but ripped and landed atop a poor flautist. With a clatter the instrument fell from her hands onto the floor.

"Well, its called Condemnation. My brother picked it out once the wedding preparations came to his side." I chuckled softly. Leon wasn't faulted with his choice of song. Xander cleared his throat, "Be ready to start playing." he called out. The maestro nodded, face Rd from his almost, unseen commotion. The poor man must have never been before royalty.

The song was fast paced, frustrating, and unrealistic. Xander had a man named Laslow choreograph our dance and Xander added certain things in as well and... I could barely keep up. I was nautilus from messing up a particular spin and my back ached from being dipped and dropped so many times. I was dropped solely because I squirmed from him since his fingers poked into my rather ticklish sides. Every time he apologized before scolding me.

I lost count of how much time passed and only focused on how terribly my feet ached.

"Can-" I panted and leaned over, "Can I have a break, please."

"We've only been at it for an hour."

"Exactly. Now let me rest!"

"10 minutes then we'll try it again at that one problem area."

The poor orchestra must have been dying by how many times they'd played and replayed the song, a once loved piece between them was now, without a doubt, was hated.

I collapsed onto the floor and laid out, staring up at the ceiling. Xander disappeared from my view and I closed my eyes. I was exhausted. Utterly exhausted. Xander merely broke a sweat. Just a meager... misting of sweat at that. I sighed and put my wrist over my forehead. I fell asleep almost instantly. What seemed like second later Xander woke me up, he sat cross legged beside me. He held two glasses in his hand. Wine.

"Would you like something to drink?" he asked. I nodded and took one eagerly. I sipped it quickly and nearly choked on it. The strong taste overloaded me. It burnt my throat harshly and I hacked relentlessly.

"Oh my gods! What's in this."

"Ah, I forgot to mention that its strong. They call it Dragon's Brew." I put a hand on my throat and swallowed thickly.

"It tastes angry." I smirked. I herd a strange sound. It was foreign in my ears. It was a smooth thing. Not unpleasant in the slightest. I opened my eyes to the sight of Xander laughing. Well, more like a quick chuckle but, it was something. He took a sip from his glass and shook his head slightly. We waited to dance again until we both finished our drinks.

A little butler with messy hair and circles under his young eyes took our glasses and ran off. We stood up and Xander held out his hand.

"Measure 84." Xander called out. The maestro recited it to his orchestra and Xander and we began the finale of our dance.

He spun me around. I trailed a hand from my stomach to my neck before reaching outwards as he threw me outwards. Our hands unconnected and I did a number of spins before turning as he approached me. He reached out and I spun past him. Graceful jaz walking as he follow suite. From behind he put his hands on my waist and I stopped dead in my tracks. I tried keeping a calm face as I felt a giggle bugle in my face. His hands trailed upwards until he guided my arms up. Just as his hands met mine I whirled around and jumped away. A single hand of his took mine and elegantly pulled me backwards into him. He spun me around and took my hand as we waltzed across the ballroom, our stride grew quick and as the instruments bared their final quick chorus, he lifted me up from my waist, spun once more, sat me down, and dipped me so low my hair touched the ground. I was told to keep my head limp in this position and I did. My breasts would no doubt be pushed up thanks to the dress, meaning over half of our guests will witness such an action. I hated it, that final move was so.. disgusting. As my head rolled back his hands would slide up my leg to lift it upwards, anther would slide from my back to my neck, as his head hovered so close to my neck that his hot breath warmed my skin.

"Good job." he said before moving the position, "You got through it completely this time."

"Guess so." We stood straight and he bowed to me. I did the same.

"After that dance we'd be free to do anything. Go to bed, eat, drink." Bed. It had crossed my mind many times the past few days. I was meant to have his children. That was my only purpose in this. He could take it if he wanted to. I don't want that with him though. I don't know him. I know its Horan tradition to bed with your wife the night of... but I'd like to break that tradition.

"Xander..." I looked up at him, he regarded me with raising is eyebrows slightly, "I... I know exactly what I am in all this. You spelled out how much worse it could be for me as well, but... I don't want to bed you tomorrow night. Please... keep your helping hand out for me for just alitle bit, and don't... don't make me take part n such things yet."

"I didn't plan on it in the first place, but I am going to need to sleep beside you."

"That's fine." I sighed in relief.

We practiced our dance a few more times before going to the dinning room and eating a quiet dinner. I slept in the bed, he in the chair for another night... the day after was complete chaos, but it went by in a flash. In mere moments after I woke up, it seemed night had fallen again and I was having my corset tightened in a room with a sofa, fireplace, and a table with a bowl of apples and oranges.

"Finished!" Camilla said happily. It was looser than normal but I wasn't going to complain, "Now... Your a little... tiny, breast wise. Barely an A cup I mean. So, I'm going to fix that dear." she smiled just like Oboro did when she wanted me to put on her special makeup.

"No thanks. I'm happy with my size."

"Yes, but the dress must be filled out. It'll look odd if its all puffed out."

What a tricky woman! She made she made the breasts too big for a reason! She smiled sickly as I realized.

"I've a quick solution though." she sauntered over to the table and grabbed two oranges.

"No."

"Come now darling. Just for tonight. They'll give you just what you need."

"No."

"Darling..." she cooed. I sighed and took the oranges from her hands. With a red face I stuffed them into my corset and looked into the mirror.

"Will they show?"

"Not a bit! You already look more mature!"

"What if they fall out?"

"Trust me, oranges are very reliable."

"You don't have any stuffed up there do you?" I asked vulgarly with the wave of my hand at her breasts. She laughed and shook her head.

"Never really needed them." she chided. I was slipped into my dress. My hair stayed down, and my face stayed bare. Soon we arrived at the castles chapel ad Camilla went in before me after giving me my words of encouragement.

I looked at the large double doors softly. I'd walk the isle alone again, this time with only three familiar faces. Maybe one I'd even consider trusting. I'd be traveling into a man's world, filled with spice, war, uncertainty, and terror. Where nothing is the same, yet in a way it is. It's just no longer sealed away from me. A world where I can't cry and anger is my only energy. Where death is prevalent but it doesn't matter does it? A place that when my legs refuse to move, Satin's son will carry me, and I guess, I'd trust him. I guess... I'd trust him.

The doors opened and forward I walked. A room full of Nobles watched me as I closed the distance between Xander and me. I approached him in his fancy fully black suit. The priest recited our vows in a singsong voice and soon asked me for my vows, and my oath.

"I swear myself to Nohr from this very day. I will be loyal to my people, loyal to my country, and loyal to my king. I swear to not commit treason to my country, and respect it in every aspect. From this day forth, Nohr is my highest priority and I will do whatever is necessary to keep it safe, and prosperous. I, Corrin of Hoshido, p-put aside my previous beliefs and ideals, to instead-" my necklace warmed my chest as I held back hot tears, "become a Nohrian citizen, I will be loyal, I will be strong, I will be prosperous."

"You take Xander as you husband, and future king?" the priest asked.

"I do." tears burned my eyes.

"You take Corrin as your wife?" he turned to Xander.

"I do."

"You may kiss the bride."

Xander leaned down and kissed me with some form of compassion. His lips remained chapped but, it wasn't terrible. His thin lips capturing mine, his face shielding me away from the crowd, and he remained there to hide my tears from the people. I pulled myself together in a split second and pulled away, giving him a small thankful nod. Hopeful my eyes aren't too red rom the tears. I can't get worked up here, it would be very bad.

We were whisked away to the ballroom. I was shoved into the room whilst Xander was at neatly placed inside. We made our way to the middle of the dance floor. I wiped my eyes quickly. The large group of people surrounded us in the circle. I herd little giddy laughs from the crowd as we bowed to each other. Xander mouthed the words "good luck" I sent him a small glare, he raised an eyebrow. It didn't matter as the first beat of Condemnation began.

The dance was two minutes of spinning, dips, and jumps. How could I ever expect to have the oranges stay in?

It began well with my running to his arms and being spun and picked up a few times. I felt a jostle but, nothing terrible. Quickly we approached over halfway through the song and he jostle grew more hazardous. Xander didn't notice, no one by me... and Camilla. She smiled coyly, her eyes transfixed on my oranges. I was spun and thrown outwards. The problem zone was redefined as impossible. Spins, pick up, dip. Impossible.

Xander's hands left mine, I spun gracefully, my hair whooshing around me, my dress flying outwards as well. I met Xander's gaze as he approached me, he reached out, extending out his arm fully, and I simply spun past him. A whoosh of air in my escape. I walked away, a toe sliding across the floor with each step. I made three sides before strong arms circled around my waist. Gentle fingers brushed my sides. A small smile crossed my face. His large hands slid up my body, from my waist, up the sides of my chest, up my arms, into my hands, now just over my head. His face close to my ear. My face went red as I felt another jostle. The orange rolled upwards. I jumped away like a doe running from a hunter, but he caught my extended arm and I elegantly fell backwards into his chest. Another jostle. Please gods, let this damned orange stay in. He spun me around and we waltzed across the ballroom. He spun me and I nearly fell but he kept me up. Quickly he raised me up into the air, and I knew I had no chance of survival, but as he sat me down, I had a flicker of hope. Just one move left. One. It can handle that right? Right as I was sat down I was swooped into the dip. Slowly downwards I went. My chest puffed out and m head back. His hands sliding up my leg and up to my neck. Lips close to my chest... finally they found my neck, barely an inch away. His breathing was slow and warm. Clapping filled the room. I let out a small sigh of-

Plofp

A tiny pattering noise filled the room and the claps stopped. A silence so deep filled the air, it drowned me. It finally fell. I closed my eyes tightly. Embarrassment smacked me hard. My face grew hot, and all I could think of was Camilla's smile. She knew this would happen didn't she?

"Corrin..."

I gasped as my head began to throb. My back ached as pressure hit hard against the appendages forming. They had no room to grow.

"Get me out of here." I whispered through clenched teeth, "Fast." the hand on my neck moved to my beck and he felt the wings struggling against the corset. Pain seared through me.

"Faint." he said quietly. I let my entire body go limp in his arms. I felt myself be jostled and shifted in his arms to be held bridal style. Gasps filled the congregation. I felt as he ran quickly across the ballroom, "Clear the way! She's gone unconscious! Move!" he yelled, forcing desperation into his voice. He ran up the stairs and round corners. The pain of my restrained wings was unbearable. I took deep breaths though my nose and could smell spice so strongly against him. I felt him kick open a door. A bit too dramatic.

I let out a cry of pain, my wings have to be free. This corset is killing me.

"Out of the room!" Xander bellowed. Hurried footsteps and a door slam filled the air. Xander laid me on my stomach on something. I herd a door lock click. I groaned and let out a helpless whimper, "Your going to have to stand." he said carefully. I did as best as I could. Quickly Xander slipped my dress off my shoulders. It pooled at my feet. Quick fingers began uniting my corset and it burst free. I fell onto whatever I was on before and my wings opened with relief. I moaned, freedom. My whole body went limp, and arm laid over the site of what I think was a sofa and my fingers touched the ground.

Moments passed and I squirmed against the form taking over my body. I hated it.

"Please.." I whimpered, "Get rid of this thing." I begged softly to Xander. The room was quiet, save for the crackle of a fire. I needed to be human again. Needed it. Craved it. I couldn't stand tis form and he's the only who can help me. I stuck in silence for an eternity before I felt hands rub right where scales and skin met on my wings. I sighed and relaxed against his touch. I opened my eyes slowly and saw an orange, rolling by on the floor.

 

Xander rubbed my back tenderly. Slowly, he got rid of the monster treading water inside of me, but he continued rubbing until I was a mere puddle on the sofa. He found knots from the carriage ride that never went away. Rubbed the bump on my head from getting hit, and repeated the process, he continued even as he spoke.

His thumbs dug into my shoulder blades.

 

"You asked me if I was close to my brother...." he rubbed slow circles into me. Melting me completely, but I listed intently through my liquid state, "If I was close to Leon. The answer to that would be... no."

"Why." I whispered.

"I wanted to be but, my position didn't allow it. I was the older, throne inheriting, brother. He was the only other male in Nohr's house, and I had stolen his chance the second I was born. I could never make up for the attention I didn't mean to take from him... he was always stuck in my shadow. I know he resented me for that, I know he was jealous and... no matter how much I tried, that would never change........ You know... the most attention he ever got, was when he and Elise died. But... I was still the center. My mourning was more important to the people than their prince and princess' death. Until he died, I stole every fraction of attention he could have gotten, and I did not want it."


	4. A Sip of Change

We didn't return to the party that night. In truth I wanted to return, try to redeem myself from my last wedding, but I guess I'll always live with an itchy nose and some citrus.

Xander unlocked the door to our bedroom and I entered weakly. I found my seat at the table and went limp in it. My body still ached and throbbed from my transformation before. I clutched my necklace gently. My eyes found Xander ringing a bell attached to a tight string that disappeared somewhere into the walls. It was stuck, on the left side of the room, besides the bed's headboard, the same side he'd sleep on. I'd never noticed it before.

He approached me, "Personally I haven't eaten all day, and I know the kitchen master was very excited for you to eat what he made tonight. He's never fed Hoshidan royalty before."

"Not even my father?"

Xander watched me carefully. I saw those same eyes as I did one night as I gathered flower petals. As my anger fumed and my hate for him slithered through me. Though I've never known my- King Sumeragi well. What I did know of him when I was younger was that I loved him. He was my father then... and Xander's family took that man away from me. If he willed it, Xander could've let him free, couldn't he? He could've let me have my father, and not what he turned into.

"He's never fed Hoshidan Royalty and been aware of it." he elaborated.

"What do you mean?"

"I brought your father food when they threatened to starve him."

"I thought he was held in the Northern Fortress."

"He was here at first. I must've only been 13 or so. Father took me to the dungeons one day and I found myself staring at a man in dirty, white, noble's clothes. I just remember how strong he looked, even with chains keeping him stiff and still, as if somehow he could rip himself from the wall and kill me if I stared too long. He spat at my father, and was told he'd be refused food until he apologized." Xander laughed bitterly, "He never did. That's why a few days later, father brought me back to him. He was so thin that his clothes threatened to fall off of him at any moment. I cried right in front of my father. Terrible mistake but, probably the best thing that ever happened to King Sumeragi. My sympathy got him food from me. I stole a key from a guard and memorized the times they switched shifts. I brought him food for 4 months. It wasn't much, but it was enough to keep him alive, and still make him look undernourished. A prisoner told one of the guards of my gifts and they waited to catch me in the act. They did, and my father was unhappy to say the least." He smiled coldly, "He made me watch as they whipped Sumeragi. When they dragged his bleeding body away, I was next. I remember trying to leave but, father grabbed me and yanked me over to the wall. He cuffed only one of my wrists. He gave me 6 lashings...  **he** beat me, not the guards, not some stranger, no, him. Whipped me as if I wasn't even his. He'd uncuffed my hand and threw me to the ground so roughly, that when my head hit the floor, I went unconscious."

He wasn't hiding any emotions from me... and even so, I could see how little he cared. How little that event effected him now. It didn't even make him flinch. I was shocked.

"Xander... I... thank you." I murmured, "for keeping him alive."

"I would've thought you'd have wished him dead."

"Even if he was dead, I'd still be here in Nohr. Who knows how early he signed me over to Leon."

"I think Leo would've enjoyed your company as a wife... your both pessimistic enough. Stubborn as well, but I think it would've been a very happy marriage."

"Maybe." I said softly. It was true in some regards, I could've been happy, but I would never love him. Not like I did another.

My eyes fell to my hands fondly as I thought of what I once had. Some other mans hands holding mine tightly as he gazed deeply into my eyes. The letter between our palms crumpling slightly before he disappeared into the night, leaving me clutching a rolled up piece of parchment, tied up with a ribbon, confused but exceptionally happy. I read it with a smile on my face, and tears dripping onto the letter. I searched all night for him... he could've found me at any time he wanted but he waited until the moon at its highest point. My blue kimono blended in with the skies so well that at some point I feared he wouldn't find me... but when he did, my heart skipped a beat.

_"Do you accept? Do you-"_

_"I do."_ I had whispered. He stared in disbelief before lifting me up and hugging me so tightly. The hug breathed new life into me, and it felt as if id taken my first breath after hours of being stuck underwater. He sat me down, and before he could stand straight, I caught his lips-

A knock at the door caught my attention and Xander opened the door. I leaned over to see a larger man with a small stature awaiting orders from Xander.

"Thank you for coming, we'd appreciate if you could bring us some of the food the Kitchen master prepared for the wedding."

"Yes sire! I'm assuming you'll be having your usual for wine? The vineyard just sent in a new shipment and had a bottle specially made for you. It was packaged up like a million dollar gift."

"That will do. Bring a bottle of what we had earlier today as well."

"Yes, right away."

"That will be all."

The door closed and Xander  came back to me, standing where a chair should be.

"Where will we eat?" I asked.

"In here."

"Don't we need another chair?" I asked with a smirk.

"I forgot about that," he chuckled, "I'll just stand."

"You can sit here, It'd be more comfortable if I did it since I much shorter."

"I'll be fine." he said with a smile and a small nod.

Soon maids and butlers came in with plates filled with different foods. All of them together filled the entire table with little room for us. A butler presented Xander two bottles, along with two glasses and kitchen utensils. Xander sat them down and thanked the man. He leaved and Xander closed the door for him. He took the cork from one bottle and poured it into a cup. He sloshed it around and smelled it. He clicked his tongue.

"Too bad. A little more time and this would've been absolutely delicious  ." He took a quick sip before opening a the other bottle and pouring me a glass. He handed it to me and I thanked him. I took a long drink and sighed. It was strong, but I enjoyed it more now. Xander came to me, glass in hand.

"You must know a lot about wine."

"I used to be close to the man that ran the vineyards. He taught me how to be a connoisseur of sorts"

"I was never allowed wine until you and I had our first wedding."

"I figured. Speaking of that day, I remember it being a little ways after your birthday correct?" I nodded, "I got you a small gift today. It will be delivered tomorrow."

"Not much with surprises, are you?" I replied with a smile, "But thank you."

He nodded and took another sip of wine, he turned away quickly as he coughed. He covered his mouth as wine dripped from his fingers. He dropped the glass quickly as his hand went to clutch his side.

"Xander?" I rose up from my seat. He shook his head and backed away from me. A cry of pain pushed past his lips, he fell to the floor. "Xander!" I cried out. He groaned and I rushed to his side. On his hands and knees he coughed and hacked relentlessly before falling onto his stomach, breathing like a suffocating man. He cried out again and writhed in pain.

The door burst open, a boy and the very same doctor that helped me days ago, appeared. They rushed to Xander, I stood up and pulled the boy over to me.

"How did you know?" I asked with astonishment, my throat grew tight and painful.

"Th-the taster began coughing up blood once the servers returned."

I turned on my heel and kneeled beside the doctor. He rolled Xander onto his side as he coughed.

"Wh-whats happening?" My voice cracked.

"He's been poisoned. Lord Xander, I need you to swallow this." He pulled out flask filled with a clear liquid. He opened it and presented it to Xander's lips. Xander grit his teeth in pain and the doctor forced open his mouth. He poured the drink down his throat. He choked and gasped for air and ended up coughing most of it up along with blood.

I covered my mouth and stood up quickly. I faced away and closed my eyes tight. All I could hear were his violent coughs and the sounds of him choking. I reluctantly looked behind me to catch the sight of him coughing up a mouthful of blood. I ran into the bathroom and closed the door. I leaned against it and slid downwards. I was racked with sobs that only intensified when Xander's horrid noises ceased. I let out a silent scream as I hurried my face into my hands.

I sobbed in pure agony. How could this happen? How? ...... why. I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged my legs. I looked up to the bathing pool from afar, tears blurring my vision. My necklace burned against my skin and I could feel my wings and tail against the door.

Maybe I could've been happy with him. Maybe I could've enjoyed my time with him and moved on from the other man. Gods, if I wasn't such a-.... this never would've happened. If I had made him truly believe that I wanted to return to the party... he never would've.... maybe he isn't dead. Please... gods, don't take him away before I've even gotten to know him. Please.

A soft knock on the bathroom door made me jump.

"Y-yes?" I asked softly.

"I need to ask you a few things, come out." The doctor ordered.

"No."

"Why not? Get out of there immediately."

"I can't I... I've..."

"Whatever your reasons are, I don't care. Now come out."

 I left the bathroom hesitantly and stared at the floor, he was quiet for a moment before he spoke, "Stop being so down girl. Look up." he signaled with a nod towards the bed. I looked up and saw Xander under the blankets. He was pale, and sweat covered his face. I could see him shiver from here. I let out a sigh of relief.

"I-Is he going to- will he m-make it?"

"The poison was acidic, but it was activated once it met with the stomach acid. It did a fair amount of damage before he disposed of the contents of his stomach. He's bleeding internally, I can do no more but make sure no one else is hurt. He probably won't make it through the night, but if he does, he won't make it till the afternoon." I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood, "Tell me, what did he have before he showed signs of this."

"He drank some wine. That was it."

"Did you two drink the same wine?"

"No, apparently the one he had was made especially for him."

"Which one."

I shrugged my shoulders helplessly, "I wasn't paying attention. It was one of those two."

The doctor nodded and took both the bottles.

"That's enough, thank you. If he begins to vomit again, find me."

He left and I drug a chair over to the bed. I sat across from Xander. He looked so odd. So dead... I reached a hand out to his face and brushed his cheek gently. It was so cold against my hand. I let my hand rest against his chest, and I felt his heart beating faintly. I clutched the blankets tightly. My sharp nails cut the fabric and I relaxed my hand and let my head drop.

"You should try not to die you know." I whispered, "you said yourself that I need you to survive here... and I think I really do. Garon scares me. I-I'm terrified at the thought of being alone here with him... I... I don't want to die here. I want to go home, but if I have to stay here, and I do, I'd rather be stuck here with you. At least you can defend yourself. Besides... if you died, wouldn't that mean, as a widow, I'd have to rule alone? I'd have the throne since I married you?" I chuckled solemnly, "Terrible timing I must say... Gods... just, don't die..."

I felt something touch my knee. I looked down and saw his hand, resting on top of it. It shivered violently.

"Little princess..." My gaze snapped up to his face. His eyes were still closed.

"Have you been awake?"

"...Yes" his voice was breathy and weak.

"Promise me you'll stay alive."

He gave my knee a weak squeeze, more akin to a tiny push. His hand slithered back under the blankets. I sighed softly and looked at him...

"Camilla would rule...." he whispered. The faintest smile tracing his lips. I let out a small, nervouse laugh.

The door to our room opened, strong cologne filled the air. The door clicked closed and I looked up. Garon and I made eye contact. His eyes were like Xander's were most of the time, Dead, though his seemed as though they had nothing left to show anyways. He walked towards the bed and stood at the end, but he didn't watch Xander. He gazed at me with interest. A smirk played his lips.

"It seems you've gotten closer with your dragon form. Is this permanent or temporary?"

"The latter." I replied. My necklace warmed against my skin as anxiety washed over me.

"Have you turned fully into a dragon lately?"

"No."

"Really. That necklace is more powerful than I thought. I wonder,"He strolled over to me. Gigantic body shadowing me as he stood over my much smaller frame, "if I were to," a large finger came into contact with my neck and slid downwards until it grasped my necklace and lifted it up, "take this, or break it entirely, what would happen?"

"Why are you asking me? You know the answer." I had to stand my ground. I couldn't show my fear to this man. If Xander does pass, I must be able to handle his father as long as I can.

"Answer my question mutt." My gaze faltered, but once I recovered I glared.

"Answer this, why are you more focused on me than your dying son?" He scoffed and let go of my necklace. I internally sighed. I was making progress.

"He'll live."

"He's injured!"

"But he'll live. He'd been poisoned today yes, but tomorrow we must continue living. Tomorrow, someone must be punished, and someone must be held together enough to make judgment."

Though I didn't want to, I could respect his way of thinking.

"Why do you care about my transformation." I had to change the subject again.

"Can a man not be... infatuated with something new?"

I furrowed my eyebrows with a disgusted grunt. He gave a bout of sick laughter. All I could see was this man with my mother in Hoshido.

"If you aren't here to be with Xander, then why are you here at all." His laughter stopped abruptly, as if it was all forced to begin with. He smiled darkly.

"Well," he began, "I would like to strike a deal with you, since I have the chance," he halted, waiting for a response. I lifted my head in fearful interest, "I would like you to cut any ties you had with Hoshido, forget everything, to what a cherry blossom tree smells like, to your mother's whereabouts. I want you to completely forget Hoshido."

"I decline." I said instantly.

"I'm not finished, if you were to do so... I'd clear up any rumors that have begun to spread about you. Which would defiantly help once you are ruling beside Xander. I'd grant you my blessing and allow you some power in your current state as well. I'd let you live how you wish unless I need something of you of course."

"And if I say no."

"I would strip you of everything save for your title. You'd have no power in court whatsoever. You'd be confined to the castle by royal decree. Unless... you were to agree to me once it would become too much. So, choose between forgetting family -who never really were your family- or, the alternative I just explained."

I sat quietly, "Why do you want me to... betray the people who loved me, even when they knew of what I wasn't?"

"Choose now, or I'll pick the latter for you."

"You can pick it anyways. I refuse. I may not be related by blood, but many of them loved me. I'll do the same, no matter how far away I am. No matter who orders me not to."

I expected him to comment on my choice, explain how disappointing it was, insult me in some way, something, but what he did instead, that intimidated me even more, was leave without a single word or second glance. He shut the door quietly and was gone. My whole body began to shake.

"What have I done."

"Do you think he would've done anything if you agreed?" he asked weakly, "Either choice, he'd still win.... he'd have you under his thumb through fear of having your "power stripped"...... now he'll control you with fear or pain anyways .. there's no way to win.... just ways to make the loss less painful...."

"What does he want from me?"

"Submission." his voice was nearly inaudible. I stayed silent. There must be more to it than that... what would my submission do for him? He has enough subjects scared of him... I'm already terrified, and he knows that, even a few moments ago I think he knew... so why would he need submission when he already has it? What does he want from me? _Can a man not be... infatuated with something new?_ If that means something, then what does he need of my dragon form?

Xander tensed and coughed up blood, he went limp soon after. Blood laid against his pale skin. I rushed to the bathroom and got a cloth wet in the bathing pool. I sat on the edge of the bed and wiped the blood from his face.

"It's warm." he muttered. I folded the rag and dabbed at his forehead. His shivers grew less violent and at some point he fell asleep. I kept my hand over his heart, finding some solace in feeling him living.

As his chest rose and fell, anxiety filled me little by little, scared that his next breath simply won't be there. In a simple moment, he'd be gone, no warning nor goodbyes. Soon my draconic form disappeared, and Xander's two sisters took its place at my side. We did not speak... we did not look at each other... we simply, waited. I'd wipe his face now and then, and he give out a quiet, breathy hum, that would release a collective sigh of relief from us. He'd mutter quiet words or brush a hand against my knee, but his eyes would never open. Morning came and the doctor came to visit.

"Good morning princess's." The doctor said with a nod towards us, "How has he been?"

"He's still shivering." I began.

"He's been coughing up blood, but its gotten better." Azura added.

"That could be good. Either he's stopped bleeding, or his body is running out of blood, has he gone unconscious much?" The doctor spoke with a grim cheer.

"He goes in and out of sleep." Camilla responded. He tapped Xander's cheek,

"Yes..." Xander mumbled.

"Responsive.... I'll send some clerics in, though I don't want to, they'll give his body some much needed help. He seems stable enough."

"Why couldn't you use a cleric earlier?" I asked, "In Hoshido, we can use them at any time."

"In Nohr, we use different staffs and different magic techniques, it's harder to heal people, and sometimes it can only further injuries. I've researched their usefulness on the battle field, and they are essential. Here, they're too dangerous. If a person is unstable, the magic could simply kill the body. Hoshido's magic users have found ways around it, but they refuse to tell our healers. You should bring that up if you ever have a meeting with the king."

"I... I'll try."

"Before I leave, may I check your stitches?" he asked. I nodded. I slipped my dress down and he inspected the injury. He gave it a little poke and I winced, "The infection isn't as bad. If you feel feverish, find me immediately. I'll be sending some clerics." I pulled the dress back up and sighed softly.

"You know," Azura began, "Elise was about to figure out Hoshido's ways of healing before she passed.."

"She was, wasn't she?" Camilla smiled, "She got so caught up in it that her retainers got worried."

"She gave Leo a run for his money when it came for studying."

"I was impressed to say the least... If only she had succeeded... I'd like to think that if she had gotten sick maybe a day later, she'd have figured it out."

"Yes..." Azura whispered.

Xander shifted in the bed.  I looked up to the painting hung in his room. Dead eyes watching, always watching. A girl in twin tails smiled happily, blonde hair swung about, purple lace entwining them. A girl much too little to be gone... she was Sakura's age no doubt. That, was Elise, the little princess that passed with her brother. Rumors said they died only days apart... she grew ill, and he caught it from her. Apparently another of the princess's caught it as well, but survived. Mother had the illness as well, once it came to Hoshido. Ryoma took care of us when she couldn't. Though we weren't related, he would always be a true brother to me. Someone I will always, **always** , respect and adore. I loved him so dearly, and being without him now pains me. How terribly did I wish for him to see me in a wedding dress and be happy. To smile as I found my happiness. To one day, hold my child in his arms and watch them grow. I wanted so dearly to have my brother in my life, and even watch him become the king he's been so excited to be... once I'm Queen along side Xander, I'll surely be able to see him again. I'll be waiting for that day.

Felicia and Flora entered Xander's room, along with a man. The girls held staffs and went on either side of his bed, Felicia whispered a good morning to me and I nodded.

"Are you alright?" she asked quietly.

I nodded again, but my eyes were fixated on the man. He stared at me with wonder in his eyes and I instinctively brought a hand up to my head. No horns. What was he so amazed at then? A  small smile found his lips. He bowed, and approached me.

"Lady Corrin." he greeted me. His voice was familiar... I'd seen him before. Yes, I saw him on the bridge my first day in the castle, he found the doctor for us. 

"L.. Laslow?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yes, It's good to see you in good health." he looked to Xander, "Is he awake?"

"What do you need." Xander asked quietly.

"Lord Xander please be quiet whilst we work." Flora responded. Xander shook his head gently.

"I wished to see if you were still alive my lord... I... I'm very sorry." he bowed deeply, "When the man from the Vineyard handed me the wine, I should've been more suspicious of it. It was an early shipment after all, I-"

"You suspect it was him?..."

"We know it was him sire... the doctor tipped me off about the wine and I brought some men to the vineyard in the night. He admitted to it all."

"Don't blame yourself... he was a friend.... how could you have suspected anything once he gave it to you."

"I... I'm sorry. I still should have been more vigilant."

"Then do so from now on."

"Yes Milord. I won't let you down again, I swear it." His voice was filled with resolve and pure loyalty. Xander stayed quiet, deciding something, then spoke again,

"I'd like you to do something for me." he said weakly. Flora let out a quick, quiet, sigh of frustration.

"Yes?"

"Take Corrin out of here.... She's been with me all night. Take her someplace else... I don't care where.. as long as its away."

I stiffened in my seat and shot him a glare he couldn't see, "I'm not leaving."

"Laslow... please, escort her out of here."

Laslow put a hand onto my shoulder and looked down at me sweetly. I looked to Xander with... hurt. Why did he want me out of here? I'd been taking care of him, and he just throws me out? What did I do wrong? Why must I leave?

I stood up. Laslow offered me an arm that I took.

"I... I hope I didn't upset you in some way... I'm sorry."

Xander opened his eyes slightly, his unfocused gaze attempted to find me but the bright light from a staff made him shut them. He winced and his whole body stiffened as they began to use their magic. He cried out in pain and gripped the bed sheets tightly,

"Leave!" his voice cracked, just as fast as he grew stiff, his body relaxed entirely. Felicia gasped, Laslow took my arm and escorted me from the room. He held my wrist and guided me down the halls, I stared blankly ahead. Tears did not fall down my face, yet I had never felt more filled with anguish in my life. Did I just watch him die?

Was the magic all too much for him? If it was, did I just witness him die... so quickly and without warning. I couldn't comprehend it... alive or not, my mind didn't accept the image of him going so limp and lifeless. Without me noticing, my feet stopped moving and I was left standing in the middle of the hallway, with Laslow looking on me with compassion. His eyes held some sort of familiarity of me. As if he'd spent his time gazing at me before.

My exhaustion hit me hard. I'd been up all night, in the same clothes, barely blinking, hardly moving, terrified. My gaze shifted to the wall then to his eyes again, and I felt the world shift for a moment.

The whole earth turned, just to make me fall with it. My feet slid away and everything went black for a moment. Curiosity had allowed me to wake so quickly... as a name I'd never herd before left Laslow's lips. Through my hazy mind though, I couldn't quite find the words he spoke. It was something familiar though. He called it out once before I hit the ground, and a second time once I hit the floor. My time unconscious being the fall itself. I'd looked up to him standing over me, worry etching his face.

"C-Corrin? Are you all right!? Corrin!" Panic filled his voice. I groaned and sat up,

"Y-yes... I think I'm alright. I'm sorry. Everything just hit me."

"Don't apologize, you did nothing," he took my hand and helped me up, I wiped off my dress, "Why don't we take a trip to the library? It will get your mind off of all this. I could get us some tea as well, if you'd like."

"Okay." I replied absent mindedly. He guided me down the halls, glancing back every once in a while. I simply stared... no thoughts, nor comments about the area. No love or hate, just a dull throb and then nothing. Then, anxiety stabbed me as I subconsciously mulled over what I'd do if Xander passed.

Would I grieve for him like I did Leon? Would it last only a few weeks, before I moved on entirely? Would I have to force myself to care? Or have I changed since then? I've been gone from home for... barely a week and a half, and yet, I feel so odd now. So scared, but for once, I feel as if I couldn't tear myself away from it. Like I need someone to help me be free of it. I'm terrified to death, of death, of Garon, of Nohr... but I can't cry over things I can't change can I? I can't throw a fit like I did in Hoshido... no, not any more... and I think I've finally come to terms with that. In my short time here, have I already matured? Though slightly, have I made some sliver of progress of slipping from the grasps of childhood? I'm not a child anymore, though its realities and ways of life are still ever present in my mind. Never once was I informed on how to be a queen, or what would happen if my first husband were to die... along with his brother, from a simple sip of wine at the end of a terrible day. No one told me to grow up.... but someone had... Though indirectly, long ago, someone did... a stranger, that I had forgotten about... he hit me so hard my head spun, and secretly told me what I should've been told years before. When he was done... I hated him. King Sumeragi had done what none had done before and I hated him. Gods, the first bit of punishment I'd seen in years, and if it wasn't accompanied with something terrible, it would've done me good. Yes... I could forgive him for hitting me, but I may never forgive him for handing me over to Leon. I can accept that he condemned me here, but forgiveness is much harder to come by.

At the end of a long hallway, deep red doors stretching all the way up to the ceiling greeted us. Laslow pushed one open and before my eyes was a room filled to the brim with bookshelves. An open area with tables and chairs sat, scrolls and dusty books untouched for a time were laid out upon them. I looked on at the massive amounts of space in the room with wonder. A sky light flitted in the dark morning sun, a chandelier hung from the very middle of the structure,  the occasional wyvern landed on the glass for a brief moment before flying away. My eyes fell upon the third floor of the library, a balcony over looked the massive area, and two doors lead to a balcony outside as well. A large window stretching from floor to ceiling looked out to one side of the hole Castle Krakenburg was nestled inside. It all looked so ethereal, and unreal. The whole room must have been bigger than the ballroom. At least 90 bookshelves alone laid upon the ground floor. Connected by ladders, a second and third floor awaited with tall, dangerous shelves. Felicia had mentioned the library... but I didn't expect this.

"You can look at any book you'd like, just so long as you don't touch those." He pointed to the table filled with dusty books.

"Why not?" I looked to the table curiously. Laslow was silent for a moment. He gazed at the table with a cold sorrow.

"That was where Princess Elise studied, she forgot to clean up one night, the same night we discovered she was sick. Then, soon after that night, Prince Leon went to that very table and studied for hours, leaving what he had as well. Uncharacteristically. The next morning he grew ill as well. Azura soon fell and as the nights went on... the books remained, but they did not. No one touches their things under any circumstances. Lord Xander's orders."

"What else is off limits by him?"

"Their room, their things, everything related to them. Lord Xander once caught a maid entering Prince Leon's room, she was released of her job and thrown out into the streets without a second thought by him. Another was caught stealing the lace Princess Elise had usually worn in her hair, her punishment was severe, and she was thrown out as well."

"Why would he be so... strict?"

"It's not my story to tell Milady," he paused, before continuing on in a different direction, "would you appreciate if I got us some tea and breakfast?"

"Something light please." The thought of food brought up the picture of Xander vomiting blood. I gagged at the image. My stomach demanded food, but I'd have to refuse it for now.

Laslow left me to my own devices and I spent my time exploring. Books about every single topic alive met me on the first floor. The second floor was filled with every fictional book I'd ever dreamt of reading. The third was an assortment of scrolls and such, some were locked tight behind glass, as they were so old, they seemed to be turning to dust. The third seemed to be dedicated to tomes, scrolls of Nohr's history, and books in another language that I couldn't begin to comprehend. Though, I could barely make it past the titles on a majority of all these books. Millions of them, yet I could barely read one I bet. I could only read in Hoshidan. I groaned with my realization. As I rolled my eyes, I caught the doors to the balcony. I tugged on the doorknobs to find them locked tight.

"We lost the key to that door a long time ago." Laslow yelled from below. I went to the railings and looked down at him. From afar I could just barely see a smile and the tray he was holding. I descended down to the first floor and greeted him quietly, "I apologize princess, but I could barely get you this tea. It seems I'll be your taster for today as well." He brought me to a far off table and I sat down. He poured himself a cup and sipped it, "I'll pour you a some in a moment." I watched fearfully. It could happen at any moment, the poison taking affect, burning you from the inside out without warning, without signal, without remorse. All of the sudden you'd be on the floor, writhing in pain from a simple sip of wine. My heart fell at the memory.

It felt as if I were gulping rocks once I swallowed the lump in my throat, only to have it rise again. My eyes were heavy and tired with both sleep and anguish. My brain couldn't decide if the man who took that sip of wine, was living, or dead right now, "Lady Corrin?" Laslow's worry filled the air around me.

"Is he alive?" My voice was barely over a whisper, it was airy and wisp like, so much so that I nearly thought my words never came out.

"I've personally learned to not judge a persons well being after one glance, so I couldn't say."

"How?" Even in sorrow, my curiosity knew no bounds. Laslow chuckled,

"That's a story for another time. Why don't we talk about you?" he poured me some tea and handed me the cup. I held the warm object in my hand, but didn't drink.

"I'm sure all of Nohr knows my entire story and more." I said with a small snicker. I took a cautious drink, fearful of how warm it felt. I looked at my reflection in the tea.

"Well, I don't." His voice held such a strong sense of familiarity.... I furrowed my eyebrows and let out a small noise of confusion at his tone. I looked up to his eyes.... He watched me so closely, so desperately, as if he was pleading for me to do something, have something.

"Laslow?" His gaze faltered and soon he looked onto me like a normal man would. He dropped his head and looked down into his tea, grey hair hanging in front of his face,

"Forgive me Princess," He knew exactly why I was confused, "I... You looked so familiar to a woman I knew long ago. The resemblance is uncanny in some ways."

"I'm not her if that would assist you."

"I-It would. Thank you." He drank more of his tea and sat the cup down elegantly. He smiled sweetly, red dusting his cheeks.

"What was her name?" I asked trying to make up for my rudeness. He shook his head slightly,

"Ah, its been so long that I've forgotten. Come now, lets talk about you. I've told you enough about me..."

I shrugged, "What's there to tell? I'm foreign, and unwanted here, simple."

"Alright," he paused, "then how about your life in Hoshido. What was it like there?"

"Beautiful." I said it on reflex, "Its so beautiful. From the trees, to the snow, its all so pretty."

"Really? I've always wanted to visit but Nohrians' can barely look at their borders, let alone cross it." He sighed longingly.

"Has it always been that way?" I leaned forward in my seat.

"I haven't been here long enough to know for sure, but I believe that Nohrians' had full rights to their borders before Garon kidnapped King Sumeragi. Though tensions were high, they could still pass by rather easily. I read a few books over it."

"So you aren't Nohrian? Where do you hail from originally?"

"Ah, no where special, just a small little country, ravaged by war. It was destroyed when I was younger, so I could never describe it."

"I'm so sorry."

"I doubt your the one who led the attack my lady."

Laslow glanced behind me, before quickly stretching upwards to get a better view. He squinted and stood up. I looked behind me, two men strolled this way. One was garbed in tight clothing along with a cloak, white hair pooling at his shoulders. The other man, adorned in more tight clothing, leaned over and whispered to the other. They approached me and bowed. I took a long drink of my tea without much thought.

"Good morning princess." The man with white hair said with a smirk.

"Hello." I muttered over my cup.

"What are you two doing here?" Laslow asked.

"In his hour of need, our dearest Lord Xander has wished for us to make our presence and role known to our Princess." The other man spoke.

"Role?" I asked.

"To put it blandly, we will be your retainers, to begin with, I am Niles, this is Odin." The white haired man explained.

"He just ordered this?" I asked.

"Yes."

I sighed in relief. He was living, and talking, able to make decisions. He was alright. A smile laced my lips. The clerics must have done him some service. Maybe they've healed his poison wounds... maybe he'll survive to a full recovery. Dear gods please allow him to live.

The two men bowed deeply and recited a portion of a speech I'd herd only once before.

_"My dear Lady, from this day onward my life is yours to hold. My wellbeing in the place of yours. I swear my loyalty, my fealty to you, till the days our paths separate." Kaze's smooth voice muttered. His purple eyes looked up into mine, he gave my hand a tiny squeeze before standing up tall and straight. My head reached up to his shoulder, but barely. I smiled brightly as he looked down at me. He was finally my retainer._

I thanked the two men and they rose.

"How was Xander when he spoke?"

"Sick, apparently he's better than he was earlier though."

"Who fetched you?"

"Felecia did Milady." Odin said with a smile.

"Great." If Xander's doing better, Felecia and Flora must be finished with their work. Though the wedding dress was beautiful, I couldn't bare be in it any longer, I would love to be able to change in my room but I doubt Xander wants me back in there now, "Could you get Felecia for me? Tell her I need a change of clothes."

Odin bowed his head before turning on his heel and leaving. Niles on the other hand sat across from me at the table where Laslow was sitting.

"Laslow!" A screechy, yet airy voice yelled from a far. He looked up and sighed quietly, I looked behind myself again to find a woman in the doorway with multi colored pigtails. Pink and blue, the same mixed color of a candy that a vendor used to sell in Hoshido. She waved him over and he nodded,

"Excuse me Milady, but I must be on my way. Niles I trust you can behave yourself?"

Niles let out a hum like snicker, "I'll try my best." Laslow took a deep breath and jogged off to the woman. The library's doors shut, and it's sound echoes through the room. Niles eyed me with a smirk. I looked at him with curiosity. His dark skin contrasted his silver hair, a single blue eye looking into my very soul. The other, if there was one, was hidden away behind a black eyepatch with an x-like design.

"How did you lose your eye?" I asked with the tilt of my head.

"Oh, I didn't" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion,

"Then why would you wear an eyepatch?"

"It's gone."

My lips twitched in confusion, "You said it wasn't gone."

"Ah, I said it wasn't lost, I know exactly where it is. If your going to be inquisitive, be specific Princess."

I shot him a glare that he didn't even seem to register, aside from his smile growing wider, "Your very rude." I said with the click of my tongue. He chuckled and clicked his tongue, mocking me,

"I'm not interested in being polite, I'm here to protect you. I'm positive the waver I signed earlier said nothing about being polite to you."

"Did it mention anything about your attitude?"

He laughed thickly and put his elbows onto the table, he rested his chin against a fist and waved his other hand, "Your so quick to be feisty, this will be very interesting.... especially considering your little... secret."

"Xander told you?"

"Why yes of course. It's a rather important detail after all. We wouldn't want you turning into a monster and have us not know what to do. Who knows what could happen."

"Please keep that to yourself."

"Why hide it? I'd love to see you be more open about such a thing. Maybe even show me, that would be a sight to die for." I scoffed at him.

"Ironic that you tell me to be more open about my dragon form whilst you hide your eye behind some cheap leather." His smile widened, and his eye narrowed slightly,

"You wouldn't want to see what's under that cheap leather _little princess_ ," I shivered, "unless of course, we were to trade... my eye for your transformation."

"I think your right, I'd rather not see it." My voice wavered. He leaned back into his seat and crossed his arms in satisfaction. He no longer stared after that. I sipped at my tea until my cup was empty. I sat it down and waited. For a moment I waited for tea to be poured for me, and it wasn't. For the first time I could remember, I poured my own cup of tea.

Felecia soon found me -Odin nowhere to be seen- and we searched for a room that I could change in. Niles followed close behind us. We found one and he waited outside.

"Milady," Felecia whispered happily, "Xander's doing much better." She attempted to take off my dress for me but I denied her and did it myself. I looked down to my wound, it was rather puffy, but was scabbed over nicely. I sighed,

"Could you go back and fetch me my salve and bandages?"

"Already grabbed them!" she said with a smile of triumph. I thanked whilst taking the objects, I sat them on a small table and opened the salve. I put a large glob onto my fingers and applied it gently. I cocooned myself in the bandages and tied them myself. She handed me my dress and I slipped it on. I could tell it was another one Camilla's older dresses. Maybe I'll be allowed out of the castle to buy my own clothes. "I... I saw you were in the library, how did reading go?"

"I didn't do any... Is your offer of teaching me to read Nohrian still open?"

"Yes of course! We can start whenever you'd like!"

"Once Xander is healed.?"

"Alright. Oh, before you ask, I must tell you that your no allowed food till later tonight. We have an herbalist checking the foods along with a few tasters, once they are done the nobles will be allowed food again."

"What happened to the taster who had Xanders wine?"  Felecia sighed, icy blue eyes gazing to the ground,

"He did not survive. The doctor never came to our aid, a boy ran off to fetch him once she began to vomit, but he went to Xander immediately. They didn't even send the poor girl a cleric. I was there when it all happened... she died on the floor in 10 minutes. It was... horrific."

"What happened?"

"Once it was all over, the poison -the acid- had burned right through her stomach and through.. everything else. It, along with her own stomach acid, even put a tiny divot in the floor, the stone floor."

"Why did it take so long to activate? If it was so effective then... why didn't it kill immediately?"

"Word is that its a very, very special type of poison originating from Hoshido that takes time to fully activate. It only does so through a certain chemical we have in our stomachs apparently."

"I've never herd of it before."

"Its only been discovered recently. Prince Ryoma was rumored to collect it for his men when war was coming close to breaking out, it never did thank the gods."

"How do you think the wine man got ahold of it?"

"No on knows for sure, but Flora guessed he did some shady business for it. Its a very expensive poison after all, very hard to detect since its nearly tasteless and scentless, and considering he sold off some of his land to an unknown, Hoshidan, buyer, a few years ago there's a pretty good chance, he traded some of his vineyard to get it."

"All that just to poison Xander?"

"I know.. It's unreal what lengths some people will go to, but... that's the price of royalty I guess. Glad I'm just a maid." She giggled nervously.

"What will they do to him?"

"Well, Laslow and a few others took him to the dungeons last night, I believe he's in waiting. This is King Garon's call, and I'm almost positive he will order a public hanging. Maybe something worse. He's never been merciful"

How great.

The day went on with Felecia giving me a tour of the castle. I learned where everything was and was even able to connect where that secret tunnel Xander had would go through. I was showed the kitchen doors and instantly thought of someone I had met in the tunnels two days ago. I did still wish to help him, if he was still here. Maybe I could sneak him food... something to help. Hopefully he's still alive.

Afternoon hit quickly and my exhaustion and hunger became relentless. I pleaded to be allowed back to where Xander was, and after much bickering, I returned. Felecia and Niles both left once I was in the royal hallway. I walked down its silent atmosphere quietly, doing my best to keep it undisturbed. Carefully I made it to Xander's door and opened it silently. I entered, I halted as I felt air move past me, I looked around but saw nothing and shut the door quietly.

Xander laid flat on his back under the covers. His eyes were closed, and his chest moved up and down lightly. His color had returned, and his shivers had stopped. The room was dimly lit, and stagnant air filled it. Something felt odd. I glanced around from where I stood. My eyes found a letter on the single-chaired table. I quietly made my way to it and picked up the object, Ryoma's wax seal kept it closed tightly. I smiled. Saizo must have stayed behind and let Kaze watch me for the first few days in Nohr. He must have just delivered it.  

I slid my thumb between the wax and it popped off onto the table.

_"~To my dear sister,_

_I regret to inform you of the passing of our beloved mother. Soon after your departure to Nohr she had locked herself in her room and set out on writing and scribing many things in a language unknown to me. All meant for your eyes to read. Once finished with her work, she ended her life with the mutter of words I'd never herd before, she plunged a dagger into her stomach. Father ended his life whilst grieving when we all fell to sleep._

_A funeral for them both will be held in one weeks time once you get this letter. My coronation as king was held a day before I sent this to you. I would request your attendance to their funeral. Allow this to be the only letter Garon knows I sent to you in secret if news does not travel fast enough. My prayers will be with you._

_-King Ryoma of Hoshido"_

Her death... was sudden... and without warning.... my mother... my beloved mother.... was dead.

I clasped a hand over my mouth and I dropped the letter. I reached behind myself and grabbed the doorknob. I fell out of the room and into the hallway. My eyes were wide as tears dripped from my face. I crumpled as a squeal of anguish washed over me. I stared with wide red eyes as my whole body throbbed. I shook violently.

She was **gone.**

I let out a blood curdling scream and ripped my necklace off. I threw it and as it left my hand, my body ripped itself away from any humanity it knew besides 3 tiny words,

**Mother**

**was**

**dead.**


	5. The Start of a Nohrian

Cold cuffs clutched my wrists tightly. I shivered violently in the chilled, damp air. I looked blindly in the darkness, echoed voices from ahead of my cell yelled profanities and insults. I sobbed quietly, small sniffles and gasps filling the air now and then. I've been awake for roughly 2 hours, and I had found myself locked in a cell where terrible criminals yelled and purred at me. Some called me a monster, whilst other wished for me to be a whore, but they did not make me cry. No.. the blurred scribing on a letter and dried blood on my limbs caused the unbearable agony.

I whimpered the titles of two people no longer in this world as my body grew smaller and smaller. The rank clothes someone slipped onto me clung loosely to my body, the collar so large it even fell off of one slim shoulder of mine. It was all they bothered to garb me in. Some disgusting shirt that made it to mid thigh. What had I done to put me in such a place.... the dried blood caked to my arm answered me. Who had I harmed, killed even? What if it was Xander, my only savior... A maid, my retainers even?

My shirt slid further down my shoulder and I shrugged it back on, my arms became numb after being raised above my head so long. Fat tears dripped onto the material with a small plap. I went to raise my knee but once the bottom of my foot met the ground, a sharp sting greeted me. I winced and twisted my leg to get a view in the darkness. A small, glowing shard of something protruded from my foot. It pulsated a familiar warmth. I let out a whimper. I'd shattered mothers necklace hadn't I? I stepped on it didn't I?

My head hit against the wall painfully. I watched a rat run across the wet floor of my cell as tears dribbled from my cheeks. I sucked in a trembling breath before exhaling a name I'd not muttered with longing in weeks,

"Father..."

Held in this very dungeon my father was broken to little pieces before being sent away to be grinded to dust. Here I sit, possibly in the same cell... waiting, for what I didn't know. Escape? Help? Release? In some ways, I waited for my brother... his long lion-like mane trailing behind him, drawing Raijinto, small bursts of electricity lighting up the dark corridors. In other, more desperate ways, I waited for my mother and her soft voice, her delicate fingers petting my hair _"My little dragon."_ she'd murmur as I'd fall to sleep. When I was little, I'd wake up, her still holding me, snoring gently. I'd squirm out of her grasp only to have her wake and chase me, demanding I be punished for waking her up, though she'd always be laughing as she did so.

When I was younger, I'd sometimes find father asleep under a cherry blossom tree in the courtyard. The nearby lake filtering in a nice breeze. I'd expertly cover his entire face with the petals -the breeze couldn't even touch my handy work-, shaking from my bottled up laughter as he slept, at some point he'd wake as I laughed. In a sudden burst, he'd scoop me up, flower petals fluttering around us as he spun me around, giving out a hearty booming laugh all in Hoshido could hear...

I can remember the day his laugh disappeared from our lands. I was with him and Ryoma. He carried me on his back whilst I slept, Kaze, 3 years my senior walking behind the man cautiously. Kaze's gait was odd, his mannerisms all wrong,  but I'd go back to sleep after tugging fathers hair to get him to walk smoother. At some point he woke me up with a calming voice. I opened my eyes and let out a small noise of confusion as he cautiously sat me down from his shoulders. He quietly questioned Kaze muttering this along the lines of, "Did you see them before", "How many," "How far down the road," before an arrow wizzed past me. Ryoma took my hand, but Kaze scooped my little form into his slim arms, he whizzed away from the scene immediately. Tears filled his eyes as he muttered the word no, over and over. Kaze went from the border of Nohr, all the way to Hoshido without break, rarely ever letting me walk for myself. I remember how long it took for me to understood that day fully. I was merely 4. Even when Ryoma returned with a grim face and scars, it took until father was gone for a month for my mind to accept the fact that father really was gone.

11 years later he returned.... he was quiet and always serious... a black cloud following him. I brought him no smile. No happiness. He was gone. I whimpered and looked out longingly. The view he had for so many years... He committed no crime, yet he stayed longer than many a man. Odd how our places switched.

A quivering sigh left my lips. What I'd do for his cold grasp... his silence right now. Maybe he's joyful in another life.... Maybe mother is happy as well. Why would she- how could she-... mother was always positive and cheerful yet... her hands found themselves a dagger. She had died before I even crossed the borders to Nohr. Before a border guard yelled at me... before I was attacked and changed into that nickname she always called me. I remember I once asked her about it... she said it was my attitude, maybe even my temper... but once... once she said my father had called me that before I was born. _"My little dragon will be feisty. I know it."_ He'd tell her. I thought Sumeragi said those words but... they befell another man. _"Your father was such a sweet thing. Poor man couldn't bare to be without you in his arms. He'd sneak you out of your cradle just to hold you. I think he had separation issues... but I loved his closeness. He was very smart, some say he knew almost everything, but I'd catch his little dumbstruck smile more often then not when it came to you. His answer consisted of a hug and a little song, but it didn't work for everything-"_ She was able to go for hours about him, and now, I believe she was telling me not of Sumeragi but, the man I never knew. The man that loved me so dearly. My father. The real one...

Maybe... Maybe I didn't mind if he was some king or strong warrior. Maybe just some man that happened to love me and my mother would do. If he was still alive that is. I bet he's the reason I'm a dragon. Mother obviously had no pure draconic blood, but I did. Royals always did have dragon blood though... so... maybe Father was a king. On that note, that means Xander also has draconic blood... I guess it would explain his spicy smell, I could just tell. It was so strong though. Camilla's was there, as was Azura's but theirs was very dull compared to his. Garon's was almost non-existent, it must have been the cologne he drowned himself in.

I let out a breathy laugh. I blinked away tears. I shook my hands, their bindings jingling away. I had to get some feeling in them. I winced quietly as pins and needles seemed to fill the inside of my fingers and arms. My wrists were already chaffing from the tight metal. My chest ached, I desperately needed to put salve on.

A door squealed open and a loud clacking filled the air.

"If I see a single cut, scratch, or speck of dirt on her, I'll burn you alive."

"Garon ordered her to be held until she came to her senses! I've nothing to do with that besides-"

"Camilla!" I yelled, chains rattling as I struggled to get onto my feet. I quickly fell back down as I put weight against the rock protruding from my foot, pushing it in further. The clacking quickened, she found my cell and sighed in relief.

"Oh dear. You look terrible.." she murmured. A man with oily black hair unlocked my cell. Camilla swiped the keys from his hands and found my side. She unlocked my cuffs and I fell into her, hugging her tightly. My heart twisted as she hugged me just as tight, rocking me ever so slightly, "I know what happened." she whispered, "Xander and I have the letter kept safe. It's between us and Azura only." I nodded against her shoulder as I was racked with sobs. She petted my hair as brigands and other criminals mocked me. The man that accompanied Camilla groaned,

"Garon wants to see her, Lady Camilla. We must make haste before he gets upset."

She paused for a moment. She put her hands onto my shoulders and pried me from her chest, her eyes were filled with compassion,

"We need to go. Can you pull yourself together whilst we get you dressed?" She asked. Iago tapped his foot,

"We don't have time for pretty dresses Lady Camilla!" he chided. She pursed her lips,

"The girl is in rags, no princess -no person- wears rags to see a king. You wouldn't want him to get upset at you for bringing a dirty girl into his throne room, would you?"

"I... suppose your right."

"Good, come now darling. Let's go to my room." She helped me up and I winced.

"M-My foot. There's something stuck in it." I grimaced. She nodded, she tried lifting my leg but I shook my head, motioning to the only piece of clothing I bore. She giggled with a small oh and nodded.

"Hold onto me dear, Iago, get her other side. She can't walk." With a scowl Iago came to my side and I hesitantly wrapped and arm around his shoulder. He scowled as he supported my back.  A musty scent filled my nose, it smelled as If he bathed in an Elixer. Their foul scent was nothing compared to their taste though.

We left the dungeons at a snail's pace but made it to the Royal Hallway. We passed Xander's door, Flora and Felecia exited. Flora stared momentarily before bowing. Felicia, on the other hand, stared dumbstruck until her sister tapped the maid's foot, signaling her to bow. I looked above them for a split moment. Xander slept soundly under the covers.

On the other side of the hallways, one door down was Camilla's room, we stopped and she turned to Iago,

"We'll be with father momentarily, leave us."

"I'm meant to accompany you to the throne room."

"Leave."

"Lady Camilla-"

"Iago!" She yelled. He sighed and left us. Camilla entered her room, Azura sat at a table diligently working with little blue pieces of stone and a tome beside her. She looked up and gasped,

"Are you alright?"

"She has a piece of the necklace in her foot." Camilla said whilst closing the door. Azura nodded.

"Did I break it?" I asked quietly. She nodded again. I looked to the tiny pieces spread out on her table. The gold that surrounded it was stripped and placed on the side, the Hoshidan crest was mutilated to the point of no return.

"Yes, but, I can fix it."

Camilla sat me onto the bed, she examined my foot diligently before scurrying to the bathroom, she returned with bandages and tweezers. She meant to pluck it out, but the piece was longer than expected. I winced and pulled my foot away,

"Come now darling, we must remove this.."

I could feel horns attempting to push from my scalp. She pulled the piece from me and I grunted. I hit my hand against the bed and saw scales on my hand. I gasped and snatched the little blue object from her hands and held it between my fingers. I remained scaly, but still human. I sighed and watched the floor as Camilla wrapped my foot. She disappeared into her closet and Azura looked up from her work. I glanced up, but back down the moment our eyes met. She left her seat and took up one beside me on the bed.

I shifted uncomfortably before scooting away.

"It's the transformation isn't it?" she asked softly. She sounded like a ghost, one long lost in a grave. I gave a small shrug. She moved closer to me and I shook my head, I couldn't have her near me. No one, not when I'm like this. I felt like some dangerous mutt. In reality it's what I was, but either way I was disgusting. My stomach churned at the sight of my scales, the ripping sound of my roar, the weight of useless wings attached to my back. I didn't want to be seen in such a way. Personally I've never cared for my own looks...but I've never felt so ugly, as to when I'm in this form. I could walk out bare footed and not care for a moment, but... if I were in a beautiful white dress, fine shoes, even had my hair tied up in a Nohrian lace, if I knew scales trailed up my arms, and a thin, tough tail hung from under that dress, I'd feel disgusting. I'd want to run and hide because I find myself unsightly... but if I were to fully allow myself to be that thing taking me over... I would only know the phantoms of what happened, and base my hate from that. I only know what I've done this time through blood stains and foot pains, and so far it has not been good... and my hate grows ever stronger.

"How would you feel if you could change into this?"

"Unnerved for certain... but," she put a hand onto my knee, "I wouldn't be ashamed. Dragons, at some point in time, were beings that protected, loved mere humans. They were strong and wise, there was nothing they couldn't do. They were gods of good and evil... they were dragons."

"What do you think I am?"

"Your human and dragon, as a human your quite tame. As a dragon your rather wild, but only when you allow yourself to give in to those... feral instincts."

"You mean there's a way to be in control?"

"I believe if you do it of your own will and not through, whatever triggers such a form, it would be possible. That's what your stone is for. To keep you under control whilst as a dragon and prevent it unless you truly want it."

I looked to the piece between my thumb and fore-finger, amazed at it's abilities. How would such a thing ever exist... and how would mother have one? I looked back up to her,

"Will it still work once you fix it?"

"Yes, it will look almost exactly the same, save for the designs on it. I had to strip it from the pieces and I broke it further. I believe you need this quickly as well, so I don't want to waste time with decorations, maybe in the future though."

I nodded. The weight of horns gone from me. Azura took the piece from me and returned to her work. I watched as she put together the little pieces like a puzzle, writing down things in the tome beside her, before setting the things in a separate pile.

Camilla returned from her closet, closing the door with a quick sway of her hips, and found me. She took the dirty shirt off of me and tossed it away quickly, she wrinkled her nose at it before lifting up my arms and slipping a black dress over me. Chest still too big. I slipped on some small clothes and asked,

"When can I get my own clothes?"

"We can go as soon as you'd like darling." Camilla said with a smile as she brushed my hair with her fingers. She licked her thumb and wiped something from my face. She disappeared into her washroom and came back with a wetted cloth. Carefully, she wiped dried blood from my neck and arms before tossing it into the washroom once more, "There. Ready to go?" she asked. I stood up, careful not to put too much weight on my tender foot.

We passed Xander's room, the ball room, Xander's study, the Kitchens, the Library, and after descending two sets of stairs and crossing a bridge to another part of the building, I found myself shadowed by two gigantic doors. Iago, and an older man stood at their sides, eyeing me, scowling. His eyes were old, and a scar trickled down his face. His grey hair was slicked back, his armor oiled and shined. Years of war, hate, and strength radiated off of this old gentleman. He bowed his head slightly,

"Lady Camilla, Garon has ordered her to go alone." the man explained as she reached to open the door.  She looked down to me, her chest heaved upwards as she sighed. She gave me a reassuring smile,

"You'll do great." she said with a nod. She looked me over before turning away. I watched her purple hair sway and bounce as she ascended the stairs and disappeared from my sights. I turned to the older man and he signaled to the door. I pushed it open and stepped inside wearily.

The room was dark, but in a different way. Though candles on high pedestals lined the side of the red carpet that went up the stairs, the very air held a dim feeling. The high ceilings allowed cold air to settle on my level. A menacing statue stared down from above. Eyes bearing down into my very soul. I looked up the stairs, the top so far away that I couldn't see what awaited me. I felt the two men behind me, and the sound of the doors closing. I began the climb.

The ivory throne at the tops of the stairs wasn't a surprise, nor was Garon, the calmness and utter power that he held was what surprised me.

Garon leaned back into his throne. He rested an elbow on the arm of the item and laid his chin against his palm, "You've caused quite the commotion today, but you did attack an intruder, a Hoshidan assassin no less. What I'd like to know is why? You refused my bargain, but would keep the royal family safe from a Hoshidan. One that could've even taken you home. Why?"

"... refusing to leave my family behind and... attacking an a-assassin are two different things entirely. Why would I allow a ninja to attack the people my husband are close to. Even attack my King?" My words were very slow and calculated, I'd never spoken such a fluent lie in my life, "I refuse to forget those I love," My pace began to quicken, and I let out a scoff and looked round the room with passion, "I can't. I love my home, I love Hoshido but... though I'm forced to stay here, I can not betray the place that will give me sanctuary... even give me a chance to be queen of, a once, enemy of mine. It's odd, that you'd allow me such privileges but, I won't take advantage of it, or even .. allow my ties with Hoshido to harm Nohr, but I won't forget them, and I wont allow those people to harm my new country or my new family." Though I'd no idea the reason behind my defense, the conclusion of it resonated with me. I believed myself. I would not use my ties to harm Nohr, nor would I allow intruders from Hoshido to attack this place or its Royals. I've relationships with Camilla, Azura, Xander, even Garon... though I could live without him, I know the country couldn't, not yet.

"Lord Garon," Iago began, "You can't possibly believe she had nothing to do with the ninja? She's the only damned Hoshidan in the castle." Iago threw his hands up. The old man spoke up 

"She has no outside connections, if I'm not mistaken. How would she organize an attack?" The older man asked, but he didn't stop there, "It could've been a ninja from Mokushu, Kohga even. Your making it seem as though the man was straight from Shisaragi palace."

"He wore the Hoshidan crest!"

"And many Ninja do! The only shred of proof you showed Garon, was the fact that she was Hoshidan."

Iago grit his teeth in defeat, he bowed his head and decided to go about this in a different way,

"Forgive me my king, I never thought up the possibilities of the ninja being... of a differing class. Please forgive me for my stupidity." He fell onto his knees, I looked on in disgust. Garon scowled,

"Get out." he ordered.

"Wh- Y-yes sire." Iago scurried down the stairs. 

"Thank you Gunter for bringing to light his..." Garon mulled over his word choices, "lack of information. As for you Corrin, I expect you to keep yourself under control, as of today, you will be marked as partially dangerous, and the conditions of our refusal to me earlier will be placed in effect. You will be unable to leave the castle's  perimeter under any circumstances."

I did not hesitate to leave his presence. With my slight limp I exited the throne room holding off tears. Gunter exited close behind me. I stopped short of the stairs and took a long breath. I had to collect myself so I could make it to the necklace.

"Do you need an escort Milady?" Gunter asked. I shook my head, my long, nearly-white hair moving with the action.

"I can manage." With that I hurried up the stairs and began the blind journey to the royal hallway. My chest ached, my foot throbbed. My body threatened to fall apart at any moment. The fast pace worked against me physically and navigation wise. I passed the library the ballroom, even Xander study, but made a single wrong turn that ended me up at the entrance to the dungeons. I sighed and began to turn but the opening door caught my eye. Silver hair and a single blue eye stared back at me.

"Ah, there she is." Niles said. Odin emerged from behind him.

"Niles, Odin? What are you doing here?"

"We were searching for you. We feared those brute guard sent you off to the gallows before we could discover your place of confinement." Odin said with a dramatic sigh.

"I was let out earlier."

"You look lost... why don't I help you find your way?" Niles asked seductively. His harmless banter seemed to ease my mind a little. Anything to make this day less serious would help. These two seem to be anything but serious. I nodded and Odin came to my side, offering his arm. I took it and we set off. Niles stayed close behind us. Odin glanced my way, once, twice, three times as we walked in silence. By the fourth I was equally as curious as him,

"What?" I inquired.

"I held off my questions on our first meeting but I must ask! How did you harness such a powerful dark force in you!?" He asked with excitement.

I stopped in my tracks for a split second.

"W-what do you mean?" I returned to my old pace as we turned down another hall.

"Your ability to become a dragon! How long did it take you to get that power, or what did you have to do to get it!?"

"I inherited it, but I'd rather not talk about it. I'm sorry."

"O-oh, I understand. Another time then."

We walked the rest of the way in silence and they left me at the Royal Hallway,

"We will be moved to the Retainer's Hall again by tomorrow. It's across from this hall and to the left. We'll see you in the morning so you know our rooms." Niles informed me before leaving with Odin. A single phrase rung through my mind, _we will be moved to the Retainer's Hall_ ** _again_** _-_ I mulled it over whilst I made my way to Camilla's room. I entered, Camilla sat across from Azura and looked through the pieces and found the matching one, like one would during a puzzle. She nodded and sat it down in a line of other broken pieces. She looked up to me and smiled,

"How'd it go?"

All my composure snapped apart and I fell into a puddle onto the floor,

"I'm under house arrest." I cried as the two women coddled me. Once I pulled myself together from my meltdown I took a seat at the table. Azura and Camilla soon followed. I took the stripped metal from my necklace and thumbed at it absent mindedly as they worked.

"How is it going?" I asked with weary eyes. Azura spoke, but focused solely on her work,

"It's time consuming. We must know every piece fits correctly and that we have all of them before we can mend them. If not we'd have to break it again and start over."

"How are you going to mend it?"

"Well... I've taken a book from the library that Elise wrote all her notes for healing in, the one she was attempting to use to make our healing staffs and magic better. She wrote many... many, mend spells, one in which can mend objects."

"I thought it wasn't allowed to get the books from that t-"

"It isn't but it was important. As long as Xander is in the dark, it'll be fine." Azura defended.

"I allowed her as well, the blame would fall on me." Camilla said as she placed two pieces together.

"Why does he keep those books all the same?" I asked. Camilla put her things down and sighed softly,

"Well darling... he... he has problems parting with them. Though he's never openly said it, I know he doesn't accept their deaths. He's not found peace... and I fear it's broken him."

"He seems stable enough." I said softly... though that shield he wore up, what did it fully hide?

"You've just lost everything have you not? Parents, home, everything in your old life... and your relatively stable, but is it not eating you up right now? Is it not burning your very soul?" I shifted in my seat and nodded, "Xander is almost similar in that. He walls himself off from us, but inside, behind it all, he's never ever, been as stable as you are right now since their deaths. He's not known peace in a very long time... but your doing something."

"What?"

"He gave you Leo's retainers. That's the most he's done involving change and he did it for you. I'm surprised since he argued over marrying you for a year."

"That's why it took so long?"

"Garon wished to have you married off the second the funeral was over, but Xander refused day after day until Garon threatened Xander's access to Leo and Elise's grave."

My heart ached for him. I muttered an "Oh gods." I shook my head and scowled at the table, how cruel can a man be?

"I think we have all the pieces. You checked to see if all yours fitted correct?" Azura asked, shifting in her seat, Camilla returned with a yes, Azura nodded "Lets start to mend them then."

"Corrin, before we get started, do you need anything?" Camilla asked,

"I think I need to see Xander."

My mind yearned to see him. In some ways I wished dearly to see emotion in his eyes, in others I wanted to comfort him like he did me. I wanted to repay him for his kindness... though it may take a lifetime to do so.

I left Camilla's room and entered his. His eyes were closed, but he didn't snore.

"Xander?" I asked quietly. Something shifted under the covers and between his fore finger and thumb was a piece of parchment with a Hoshidan seal. I gasped and quickly ran over and took it from him, remembering the gratitude I had for him and the two's quick work, "Thank you, thank you so much! You and your sisters saved me. Garon thinks I attacked a Hoshidan ninja to save you all. I-I lied straight to his face a-and that man Gunter! He defended me when that snake Iago said I had something to do with it, because they thought the ninja was an assassin and I-"

"Shh, Shh, calm down." Xander cooed, he opened his eyes and I realized fat tears were dropping from my chin. I smiled and let out a laugh,

"Th-they said I attacked some Ninja to keep everyone safe but I didn't even know that I did. I don't even know what ninja I could've attacked! Kaze and Saizo are too experienced to be hurt by me, but either way Nohr has a Ninja, since I'm assuming he's alive. Ryoma isn't gonna be happy once he learns we're holding ninja's captive and th-that-that I-I cant go to M-mother and F-father's funeral." My words were nearly incoherent from my sobs. I shrugged and chuckled as I tried to wipe my tears. A large hand fell onto my cheek, a thumb wiped a stream on my face. Propped up on an elbow he looked straight into my eyes. His were weak.. but stronger than they were last time I saw him.

"Everything is going to work out."

I removed his hand from my face and looked down at my hands, tears dropped onto my finger tips.

"They died... before we even made it into Nohr. My whole life all I wanted to see was my brother crowned king. I never wanted what he had, to rule. Now here I am, in a different kingdom, meant to rule beside you. Have children with you. Love you."

"You will never have to love me. Husband and wife is just a title. That's all it ever has to be."

"I never wanted it to be a title." I sighed and looked at him, "When I was little I dreamed of marriage. I wanted to have a loving husband and a family. Then... then I found a man when I was a child... somehow, I sifted through all the suitors and found someone not even in the lineup.... Years passed and we grew closer and I turned 16, he asked for my hand once an unforeseen circumstance befell a man chosen for me.. and I accepted. Then you came along. mere days before we revealed the news to my family," Xander was quiet as he examined my face, his was grim, but I went on, "I learned I've never had a true family and here I am stuck in a marriage where -when I want a true family, need one so much- I'll never get one."

His jaw tightened, "Whilst engaged to my brother, you were sleeping around with another man? Betraying the trust and care he had for you?" He grit his teeth as he sat up in his bed, a hand held his stomach, he closed his eyes tightly, before fixating a glare upon me, "You-"

"I only knew him through letters, Xander! And I'm not some-some cheating whore. I had feelings for another yes, but we didn't even confess until Leon d-" I stopped short, "I did not sleep around either. I've never-" I looked back down with a red face.

"Look at me." Xander demanded, I timidly found his brown eyes, "You gave my brother, not a single thought after he died did you? You were too focused on your childhood lover that you didn't care for a single moment, that a boy, a child, died writing you those damned letters? You didn't care that he truly fell in love with you through your short answers? He fell in love with a complete stranger in mere days, he cared for every word you put down on paper, but you... you didn't even bat an eye when he died, did you, that this little boy died completely in love with you?!"

"That isn't my fault!" I stood up from my chair and pointed to my chest, "So Leon loved me and I didn't. I'm sorry that our love was unrequited but it's not like he'll ever know! I didn't love him yes, but I cared as much as I could for some pen pal! I did cry when he died, but how could I feel how you expect me to when I didn't know much to anything about him... did you ever read his letters? How little he opened up and instead asked about me, wrote about me and how our lives would be, and I denied him the thought. You think I don't regret that, don't you?"

"I helped him write every single letter after he received his first reply. Read them? I practically wrote them, he acted like a school boy he was so in love. His hands would shake when he'd write to you, his words would get jumbled, you made one of the best writers and scholars in Nohr fumble with his words."

I threw out my arms, "Ah so the post king is good with words, congrats! I guess I didn't even end up caring for the true Leo since you muddied up his letters with your own interpretations!"

"Would you like the first draft then?! Fine! Go to the table covered in books in the library! Take them." He went silent and his mouth went into a firm line. His whole body flinched at his words. My gaze went soft, and I sat back down.

"I... I'll trust what you'd put down." I said with a sigh. Thank gods, any longer and I'd have transformed for sure. Anger still bubbled in my chest but.. I could understand his outburst. I didn't think my venting would prod him though, "You shouldn't sit up like that." I said. I was drained. My eyes stuck to the hand gripping his stomach. He was hunched over slightly. He took a deep breath,

"I'll be alright. How is your cut doing?"

"How is your stomach doing?" His eyes were weak and exhausted as he began to speak,

"Better than it should... I should have died. Somehow, I'm still here."

"Maybe it was my handiwork with a washcloth." I said with a quiet chuckle. I herd him exhale and I looked up to see his soft smile. I held his gaze fondly, a small smile playing my lips.

"I think it was too, little princess."

I rolled my eyes at his nickname. I couldn't deny that the name was growing on me. Xander laid back down and with a long exhale closed his eyes. Snoring softly seconds later. I stood up and grabbed a pillow from the bed. He needed some space to heal, and I still wasn't ready to lay beside him. It's one step closer to what the entire world will expect of us soon. I wonder if our children would have blonde of almost white hair? What would they think of my past. They were Nohrian, but when they asked, would I tell them that they are also Hoshidan? Or that I wasn't sure myself?

I sat my pillow down onto the ground beside Xander's spot and went over to the closet, expecting to find a blanket, but once I opened the door, clothes and armor, as well as a single sword hung up on the wall met me. It's scabbard had slid off and fallen to the ground, leaving me to see it's full work. The blade was black with white trim, it consisted of two pieced of fine black metals, that I couldn't appraise, that met to make a razor sharp point. It's middle was hollow. Where the handle met metal, a purple stone glowed faintly.

I reached out. My fingertips touched it and I pulled back quickly as some force burned them. I shook my hand and winced. I looked down to see a deep red mark on the pads of the poor fingers that dared touch that sword. I cursed quietly as I searched for the blanket with none to be found I left the closet and closed the door, stopping Xander's snoring. I laid down onto the floor and rested my head onto the pillow. I turned away from the bed and looked wearily towards the bathroom door. I didn't know if it was night or day, but I was exhausted either way. I sighed, if I had my necklace, I could warm myself.

I herd a shift in the blankets and soon the thick covers, covered me. I rolled over, Xander held his part of the blanket loosely as his snoring returned. My amount draped down from tall bed and fell onto me. I whispered a thank you and scooted closer to the bed, before rolling back over and closing my eyes. When I succumbed to sleep, I dreamt of mother and her mystery man holding hands and walking side-by-side. He was taller than her by a centimeter, strong, from what the back of his head looked like. I saw white hair and horns on him. Wings that could carry him hung proudly on his back, a tail swished back and forth. His fully human hands held mothers softly, gently, though a strong draconic force took him... I knew he wouldn't look like I envisioned, but I knew how he'd act would be the same, wouldn't it?

The familiarity to the dream slowly shifted and changed. I saw the back of a short woman, her hair was long white. A black, fire singed cape trailed behind her as she swayed her hips. A golden sword was clutched in her right hand as she moved forward. She walked through the familiar halls of Shisaragi gracefully. She found my room, and entered it cautiously. The stars flickered outside the window, a candle burned, filling the room with an ominous orange light. Sat atop my bed was a man with short brown hair. Sleeping soundly in his arms was a baby, the man's deep eyes looked up and met the woman's. He smiled softly, and I woke up as cold filled my cheeks.

I cried out and tugged the blankets from the bed as Felicia kneeled over me. I sat up and slammed my head against an end table.

"What in gods name!" I yelled with wide eyes. I held my forehead and readjusted, once in an able sitting position I looked to her. Her eyes were urgent,

"Forgive me! Xander ordered me to wake you."

I looked past her to see Laslow helping Xander get dressed. Xander held onto the wall, his knuckles were white with the effort. His pants were on, armor buckled on as well, his shirt was off, muscles rippling down his back. He let out a small, gruff groan and held his stomach.

"Sire you don't have to go, your obviously not able!" I overheard Laslow say whilst he held a shirt. Xander shook his head, his messy curls shifting as he did so.

"Lady Corrin," Felicia said, her face was grim, "The ninja you attacked has been sentenced to death by Garon early this morning. He's going to be executed in 20 minutes. Please, please hurry. You and Xander need to be there."

My eyes grew wider and I shook my head in shock. Felicia gave me a pleading look, with my mouth agape I stood up and she helped me get ready, I kept on my same dress, she simply brushed my hair and tied it up in a lace. She scurried over to Camilla's room and found me shoes. The two sisters followed Felecia, Azura look exhausted, terrified... but satisfied. Felicia dropped the shoes onto the floor as she tripped over her feet. I slipped them on and helped her up. Azura slipped my completely healed necklace around my neck. I smiled slightly and hugged her tightly. She hugged back and pulled away. I looked over, Camilla stood by Xander and helped Laslow clip on the armor over his shirt. Camilla strapped the same sword that burned me onto Xander. Once finished she grabbed his circlet and placed it atop his head. He raised his hand for Laslow to step away and he pushed off from the wall. He grit his teeth before standing straight and tall. His nostrils flared and he blinked back his weariness. It almost looked as if he'd been through nothing, but I knew he was in pain.

"Xander-"

"We must go immediately. Come on." he cut me off. I decided against arguing and took the arm he offered. We exited the room where a small crowd of people stood. Niles, Odin, Perrin, and two other I did not know. They must have been Camilla's retainers. They looked ready to kill.    
We rushed through corridors and across bridges where wyvern swooped and buzzed us, one landed and followed close by Camilla until we entered a tunnel. We nearly ran up stairs, and Xander's grip on my arm grew tight and painful as he struggled to keep pace. I looked back to him to only see him looking straightforward, clutching the bottom of his chest plate tightly.

"This is unbelievable." Xander said, "Father knows how stupid this is... killing a captured Hoshidan is going to make things worse."

"We have the fact that he was an intruder on our side." Azura said.

"He was a messenger. That's our biggest discrepancy."

"Not in the slightest. He still entered the castle armed. We've got that, but our biggest problem is sending word to Ryoma that we killed off a ninja, without father knowing that we knew about Ryoma before he did." Camilla explained.

"Then we a dress the letter to Sumeragi, set everything up and we'll act surprised when we see Ryoma alone."

"I thought the letter was between us 4?" I asked, signaling to the retainers lurking behind us.

"Darling," Camilla began, "Our retainers won't speak a word of this to anyone. It's the simplest act of loyalty. They should all know everything to better protect you and us. Our retainers protect the entire family."

"Noted." I replied.

We emerged outside on a balcony, a good 15 feet away, the stage for hanging men stared back at me, located in the middle of an arena like area, and surrounded by a crowd of commoners and peasants. Garon sat in a stone chair across arena, looking across at me. I held his gaze for a moment, but soon glanced to the man I attacked. He faced us, down on his knees, hands tied behind his back and his head was hung low. A cloth was tied around his mouth so he could not speak. He wore a dirty white shirt and pants, the shirt was ripped and bloodstained in the front, revealing deep gashes. His green hair hung in front of his face.

I stumbled back into Xander, who let out a sharp cry, he covered his mouth quickly, and put a hand onto my shoulder to keep me from falling. My body was experiencing an earthquake strong enough to destroy all of Nohr. With wide eyes, I saw purple ones find mine desperately, broken. My chest heaved upwards and I stared onwards at my retainer.

"Kaze. Kaze. Kaze. No, no no. This isn't right, he's to experienced to be attacked by me, to smart to fall to me. To not escape. Kaze! KA-" I began to scream but a large hand covered my hand. I clawed at Xander's palm as I screamed into it. I slammed my heel into his toes as he cried out I broke from him and ran to the edge of the balcony. "KAZ-" I was pulled back by Azura roughly. She held me tight In her arms as she covered my mouth. I screamed and thrashed against her. Wings busted from my dress and it pushed her back. I ran to the balcony and gripped it tightly, "K-" but Kaze shook his head desperately. My jaw trembled as I watched someone yank him up by his hair. His gaze refused to leave mine. He was dragged towards the pedestal, rope hanging above him, as I was drug backwards by Camilla, Xander walked forward and slammed his hands down onto the railing of the balcony, his voice bellowed through the entirety of Nohr, no trace of weakness nor pain in his voice,

"End this!" he yelled, "Killing this man could cause war, Father, and you know it! I demand you to halt this."

Garon waved off Xander and bellowed out a continue. The crowd let out an uproar of cheers as they slipped the rope over Kaze's head and tightened it as he stepped up. He looked up to me, a sense of both betrayal and undying loyalty. The two thoughts mingling in his mind as the floor fell from under him. I screamed out and turned my head away. I herd a sharp sound and a gasp from the crowd. A crash filled my ear and I glanced towards Xander. He held his unheated sword high as it pulsates with some dark purple energy. I looked down to see Kaze on the ground, the rope around his neck tight, but no longer connected, no longer killing him.

Xander sheathed his sword,

"Niles, Leo, Laslow, Peri, Beruka, Selena, go down and retrieve that man, if you listen to any orders by Garon, you'll be released from your service. Take him to my room." He ordered. They ran down the stairs.

"Xander what are you doing!" Camilla yelled. Her arms were tight around me.

"I'm saving Nohr from another damned war, and I will do it in whatever means necessary."

"He's going to kill you. He'll mark you as a traitor!"

"I know my way around father. I can save my life, and his." He pointed to Kaze, being helped up by Leo and Laslow as the others protected them from the crowd. They pushed and shoved away the people as they waded through the angry crowd before running up the stairs, the people following.

"Damn you Xander! We need to go now!" Camilla yelled. A roar of yells and screams filled the halls, quickly getting louder. Xander groaned and tapped his foot for a moment. He ran a hand through his hair.

"Camilla hoist Corrin up onto the railings, then up onto roof's overhang. Do the same with Azura. Then get out of here.

"What about you?"

"I'll be fine. Now go!"

Without hesitation Camilla pushed my trembling body up onto the balcony railing, I looked down to the ground, falling from this height would surely kill me. Camilla climbed up and picked me up, she pushed me onto the roof and my claws clung to the shingles tightly. Azura popped up with me, as well as Camilla.

"Where are we going?" I asked quickly, as I peeked over to Xander, he sheathed his sword and took a deep breath. The roar from he crowd was so loud it made my ears ring.

"To Xander's room. It's the safest place." Camilla said as she urged me to move.

"There's an escape tunnel!" I cried.

"What?" Azura muttered.

"He does!" Camilla said with smile of hope. Before we moved I saw how vastly outnumbered Xander was. The entire crowd bellow awaited him as he was trapped on the balcony. As we climbed and ran across the roofs of Krakenburg castle, I couldn't help wonder why he stayed. Why would he stay when the entire crowd was enraged at him, ready to rip him limb to limb for his disobedience. Why in gods name would he stay? The answer was simple... though it took the entirety of the journey to Xander's room for me to figure it out, I knew why, because, he couldn't escape. He could barely make it up the stairs, let alone climb up to the roof. Why try? Why not go out in a noble way.. but would they kill him? Would his father step in or... allow the people to kill his son for his single act of disobedience.

The halls in the castle were filled with guards and maids armed and ready, they guarded the royal hallway at both sides so tightly I feared we couldn't even get in. The group guided us to Xander's room and we entered it quickly, we slammed shut the doors and locked it tight.

"What if Xander needs in!?" I cried, I slammed my jaw shut so quickly that my sharp dragon teeth nicked my lip.

"He won't be making it down here I assure you." Laslow's voice said with remorse. I quickly turned to see the retainers standing around the room. Kaze sat on the floor, leaned against the end of the bed's base. He was untied and ungagged and practically ran into his arms. I hugged him so tightly that he let out a small cry. I pulled away as my heart dropped. I'd forgotten the wounds from his beatings.

"Kaze, I-I- How did this happen!?" I said as I rested a hand onto his cheek.

"You came into the room once I delivered the letter... I... left, but stayed outside the room. You-.. you turned into something and.. I tried calming you but you attacked and I fell unconscious... I woke up when they took me to the gallows." his voice was quiet.

"Forgive me." I whispered as I took my scaly hand from his face. I had no right to touch him. His own hand though, took the one I retracted and gripped it as tightly as he could.

"Promise me you will never blame yourself for this. If I die here... then I'm happy to do so,if it means seeing your face one last time."

I looked down to our hands. I smiled fondly at the sight, "I miss you." I whispered.

"Tell your husband, I thank him..." he gave my hand a small squeeze before letting go. He gazed down at the floor. I stared at his purple eyes as passionately as I did the day he swore his loyalty to me. I stood up and looked to the retainers watching me curiosly. Camilla beckoned me over, once at her side she spoke softly into my ear, her eyes focused on Kaze.

"What relations do you have with that man?"

"He was my retainer in Hoshido." I said with a sigh, "Is Xander going to be alright?" I asked, desperate to switch subjects.

"All we can do is wait... if the mob ends up in the royal hallway, then we escape through the tunnel and wait till its safe."

We waited... we waited till the sun set and rose again, all in silence, thoughts running about in our minds about the man who gingerly sipped his wine one night. I didn't think he was dead... if he survived such a deadly poison, he could survive unarmed peasents. His injuries were terrible, and those people could hurt him more, but they won't kill him. They can't. Garon was who I feared most though. What would he do to Xander? How woud he punish him?

When the door to Xander's room opened, showing me a tall man with blonde hair being dragged inside by two gaurds, a docor following close behind, I knew. They laid him down on his stomach, where deep gashes covered his back. His armor was stripped of him, his shirt was torn from where he was beaten. He breathed shallow and slow, his eyes were open, he looked exhausted. Dead. But his eyes found mine, and they stayed there.

The two gaurds picked up Kaze without a hint of struggle from him. I ripped a guard's hand off of Kaze, but the second guard pushed me off,

"Filthy Hoshidan." he spat as I stumbled backwards. I cried out In anger and lunged at him but Odin grabbed me and pulled me back before my sharp nails met with the guard's face.

"You'd speak to a royal that way? Infront of 3 other roylas, and 5 other retainers? Get out of here before I rip out that damned tongue of yours, your too stupid to use it anyways." Niles growled. The guards left the room and Odin let me go. I looked towards the door, to Xander, and back to the door...

It was true that I once loved Kaze... that he asked for my hand in marriage one night where my blue kimono blended with the skies.. it was true that I loved him but- I rushed to Xander's side- that Kaze, is gone. He is no longer my retainer... and I am not Hoshidan anymore.

 

 

 

 

I, am Nohrian. 

Queen consort of Nohr.

Wife of Crown Prince Xander.


	6. A Parting Kiss

"Faster! Be quick on your feet!" Xander called out to me from across the ballroom. I gritted my teeth and gripped the practice sword tighter. I took a quick step forward and sprinted towards Xander. He pointed his weapon towards me and looked on unfazed as I let out a battle cry. I jutted left as I grew close and aimed to hit his upper-back, doing just what he expected of me to do -what he wanted- to use any and all things to my advantage.

My sword grazed his back and he winced in response. My heart panged in regret, but excitement filled me as soon as his eyes met mine and flickered with pride. He flashed me a tiny smile as he jumped towards me, I stumbled out of the way and with flailing arms attacked his back once more. He let out a grunt and grit his teeth. He stopped and stood still for a moment.

I could practically see the lashings on his back throbbing in pain through the thin white fabric of his shirt. He wanted me to hit his weak-points, and I knew that... but it still feels terrible on my end. Ever since Xander awoke from his shock and finally came over his fevers, he has been set out on training me so if any danger were to befall him and he could no longer fight, I wouldn't be helpless. We've been training for a week and I've made little progress. He goes easy on me, but accounts it to my lack of training and his injuries. Being bed-ridden for nearly 2 months can make a man a bit weaker.

I charged at him the moment he seemed to regain his posture. I went towards his back but he quickly stepped away and flung out his sword, hitting me in my stomach. I fell onto my back and hit my head against the ballroom's cold stone floor.

A hand entered my view just as I became infatuated with the paintings on the ceiling.

"Take your advantages when they are present. Don't hesitate Corrin."

"What if they are unfair advantages?" I asked with pursed lips as I grabbed his hand. He pulled me up and raised his eyebrows slightly.

"Take them." I laughed slightly at his answer. Sweat dripped from my brow. I put a wet piece of hair behind my ear.

"Let me ask you this, do you fight like a savage then? Like those in the wind tribe or... ah...... like those Ninja who betrayed Hoshido?"

"For now, I'm teaching you to be barbaric, because I know you'll only need to fight when your life is in danger. If something in that plan changes, then I'll teach you other ways, but I'm sure you'll forge your own way of fighting without me."

"Of course." I said with a grin, "Me protecting myself can't be the only reason why I'm being so heartless though."

Xander sighed, "We've no time for stories now. We need to practice before Flora and Felecia fetch you. We've only 20 minutes left."

"Talk fast then." I said as I leaned against the hilt of my sword.

"In short, when I fought in the Nohrian army, I saw more men die from being merciful than in any other way. So, when I became a general, say... I was 18 or so, I trained my factions to be ruthless at first, then as time went on, I twisted what they first learned to make them less docile once they were experienced enough to defend themselves and kill who they needed. Rookies in my groups were told to have no mercy on my command, but trained soldiers could spare whom they deemed worthy. Above all though, in both groups, none were to kill bystanders or children."

"... that's different." I muttered, "training wise anyways. Ryoma always told me we didn't kill bystanders or children either. Odd way of training though, even more odd is how young you were. That was nearly 10 years ago correct?"

"Yes."

"Do you still train them that way."

"I've made some changes, but I've still kept the same idea of seizing opportunities."

"So you said you would twist the original training as they got older right?" he nodded, "Then, what would you do if some never changed to become more merciful."

"Deal with them but keep them away from certain types of fights. Many of the ruthless men I lead are from my Father's groups though. He raises them to forget mercy, to believe all are our enemies, and though I train them for that harshness, it's not to fuel hate, but to keep them alive. Father's men care not for death, for their lives belong to him. Mine will defend each other and themselves because they belong to themselves."

"You send your men to fight for your father and his country. So, does your life belong to your father?"

He stared into my eyes for a long moment. His own brown orbs flickered and he straightened his back ever so slightly. Like he was about to salute a proud leader.

"My life belongs to my country. And my country is not something my father owns. It is too great to be owned by one. It may be looked after by someone, but no one shall ever own Nohr." he smiled with nationality so bright it made my chest hurt. I doubted Ryoma even felt that strongly about his own country.... I wonder what that would make him then? Aren't rulers supposed to feel like that towards their land? He does have a sense of nationality but lesser than Xander's radiating beliefs.

I squirmed slightly. Never before had I thought lesser of Ryoma before. Though this is a pin's width in comparison to his mountainous role in my affection for him... it's still odd. Ryoma has always been the father figure, the best friend, the shoulder to cry on, the protective brother, the playmate. His record was never unclean in my eyes. He's always been perfect... but he isn't is he? Not at all...

I hit Xander hard on one of his knees. He buckled and fell to the floor, sword skidding across the stone. I pointed my weapon at his head as he lifted it to look at me.

"No mercy." I said with a shrug. Seized another opportunity I did. His knees were badly skinned after being drug around by the guards to his room the day of Kaze's failed execution. That was one of the many injuries he sustained in that time. He fractured his wrist after peasants pushed him over the balcony. Bruised ribs and a broken toe thanks to their attack accompanied him as well.

His father whipped him 5 times... Xander said it was degrading, humiliating more than painful. Those lashings though, were given to him by a dirty whip, so many of them grew infected. They were so bad he grew fevers and had hallucinations. Sometimes he'd go unconscious for days on end as his body simply gave up. Nicholai, the doctor who had treated my injuries and Xander's poisoning, said that some flame in him refused to give out though, as Xander would always wake. The odds were against him the first few weeks he was ill, but they soon flipped to favor him.

He jumped to his feet, grabbing his sword and gave me a look of challenge, he looked excited. I couldn't deny him that no matter how sore I was. I ran towards him and trusted the sword at his abdomen. He stepped away from my reach and swung at my arm. It slapped against me with just enough force to make it sting, and make me remember how to move out of the way of attacks.

"We'll be working on your dodging skills tomorrow." he called out as I scurried away to put some distance between us. Luckily he didn't follow the advice he'd given me. When I stumbled, he'd wait long enough so I'd be standing strong. If I fell he didn't continue his attack, only help me up and begin again. I'd be beaten to a pulp if he did. That knowledge still didn't state my urge to see what he could really do though. Even if I'd be the test subject.

Once I was a good few feet away from him I clutched my necklace and muttered a small prayer to mother that she'd wish me good luck.

"Don't go easy on me this time." I called out to Xander. He mulled it over before speaking,

"Are you sure?"

I pointed my sword at him, "Yes." In a mere flash he was running at me. I stepped backwards as anxiety gripped my heart. I regretted my curiosity. He raised his sword and brought it down at my head and I jumped away. I swung at him and our swords met. Even when he was recovering he over powered me in mere seconds. My sword was flung from my hands from the force of his attack and I fell backwards.

Xander caught me in a position similar to a dip in a dance. The only difference was the wooden sword at my neck. My arms had instinctively wrapped around his neck to ensure I'd not fall further. I panted as adrenaline pumped, much too late, through my veins.

I gently pushed his sword away. His gaze shifted from my neck to my eyes. He looked upon me with a gentle passion. His eyes filled with some sort of amazement before they flickered out like a flame.

He got me to stable footing and picked up my sword. He gave me a proud smile that his eyes did not reflect. 

"That will be all for today little princess."

I nodded softly and grinned.

"Corrin!" I herd a peppy voice call out to me. I looked to see Felecia waving in the distance, a smile visible from here. I looked back to Xander's now steel eyes. Soft smile still gracing his lips.

"Good work. I'll be expecting you for lunch?"

"Possibly." I said with a sly smile. He raised an eyebrow and there I saw that dim flame in his eyes come back to life.

I quickly made my way to Felecia's wide grin. She gave me a quick bow, ponytail flipping with her. I giggled slightly and looked back to Xander. He turned away from us and tossed a sword to the air. He caught it and flipped it in his hand before setting it down and practicing by himself.

I turned back and Felecia was much closer to me. I jumped in surprise and raised an eyebrow. She shielded one side of her mouth and whispered to me,

"I don't know what I walked in on, but If I'm allowed, I'd absolutely adore the dirty details!"

I rolled my eyes and we left the ball room. I looked to her with fondness as she chatted idly about her day after I'd asked. She went into detail about an eccentric domino effect of events that occurred when she dropped a single cup of tea. Over the few months I've known her, I've grown closer and closer. I consider her a friend even though in truth I've never really had friends so what do I know?

All my life I've been with my siblings and maybe a few others, but after Father was taken, Mother and Ryoma both sheltered me. Takumi and Sakura received the same treatment as we were all young but... I seemed to get it the worst now that I look back on it. I always thought I stayed in the palace because I was lazy or uninterested but whenever I think about trying to leave Ryoma would always somehow catch up to me and have me join him in something, Mother the same. It's unsettling how little I ever left the security of my home... I've been desensitized to wanting to leave it seems. My house arrest in Nohr hasn't bothered me much since mother and Father's funeral passed. I still haven't sent out my parting prayers to them... I must get on with that.

"Ah! I nearly forgot! Lord Silas is coming to the castle today!" Felecia chirped as I snapped back to reality.

"Oh?" I bottled up my excitement and looked to one of the suits of armor lining the wall. They glinted in the dim light.

"The rumor is that he's come just to see you since he never got to at the wedding as he arrived late. He wasn't even allowed inside because of Xander's poisoning. He decided to return to Hoshido after that and finally returned!"

"He must have news about my brother and his new life as king!" I clapped my hands together with anticipation. I may be accepting what I am in Nohr, but even so, I can still be excited to learn about my brother can't I? Seeing a familiar face will be refreshing as well. I'd not seen Silas since before I learned about marrying Leon. He was a common face in Hoshidan courts. His father would bring him along to speak with Mother about.... political things, and once his father passed, Silas took his place. I'd see him only a few times a year but even so, we seemed to be rather acquainted. Ryoma always said he seemed to like me too much. Mother always agreed with a laugh...

I never thought of him as a husband though, even when Mother thrusted him upon me as a suitor. I cannot deny that he was charming as he handed me flowers and took me to the courtyard to throw away all formality to simply sit and laugh with me. He was the only man in the whole bunch that I considered to marry. Kaze had caught my eye soon after that night, and it seemed as if I could never look away.... I pray he is safe in the dungeons.

Felecia stumbled over her feet and found stable footing at a turn in the hallway. She looked up and went stiff. Her eyes darted back and forth before she bowed low and kept her head down. I leaned to see what was happening. I could simply see the fluff from his cape, and that dim... almost invisible scent of spice filled my nostrils as well as that thick cologne. I could almost smell the death in Garon's breath from here as he addressed my maid,

"I need to speak with you."

"Yes your majesty." she raised up and glanced to me. She slyly waved her hand at her side. She wanted me to go? My dragonstone pendant blushed with heat as I thought about staying. I gripped it to calm it and I moved closer to the wall and behind one of the suits of armor along the wall to be sure Garon couldn't catch me.

"I will be bringing Flora up to be my personal maid."

"Yes sire, I know this."

"I don't need your comments." I could see Felecia go stiff as a board, "Whilst you sister is serving me, of course, I can't have that sickly bastard child following her, so I'll be entrusting his care to you. I need you to train him. If you cannot do that, or I see that your are unable to handle your own duties, I'll send the boy away from the castle since I know no one else will want to raise up such a thing."

"Your Majesty y-you can't send away her-"

"That will be all." he cut her off. Garon came into my view and I scrunched myself against the wall. He passed me, gassing me out with his terrible scent. He stopped and I refused to even blink. I herd him smell the air quietly before turning his head. He looked dead into my crimson eyes. I curtsied weakly. "You smell strongly of spice. Wash off, it's disgusting."

I nodded and he turned on his heel and left me. I looked down to see that my knuckles were white from gripping my pendant. I slowly let go and looked to the floor, mind racing. What was happening? What did Flora do? How can he smell me? I assumed only people with such strong dragon blood as me could smell others with some of that blood.

I herd a sob and saw Felecia crumple to the floor. I pulled up some of my dress and rushed to her. I got on my knees to her side and hesitated to touch her as she sobbed on her knees. Her hands covered her eyes. Tears dripped through her fingers.

"Felecia, what's happening?"

She shook her head as she sucked in a breath, "It's terrible." she whispered as she tried to get ahold of herself. I put a hand on her shoulder, "It's so terrible." she whimpered and bit her lip so hard it began to bleed, "M-my sister got pregnant when she was very.. very young." she shivered and let out a long breath, "He's a sweet boy now. He just turned 5...  and she loves him, even if she has a hard time showing it sometimes... He loves his mother.... He loves his aunt... but I can't take him away from his mother..... He's always sick, Flora knows what medicines he needs and once I get him, Flora will be in a different hall and she'll be serving Garon and I don't know anything about medicines and-and what if I mess up Corrin...." she whimpered as she left her panic. She removed her hands and her icey blue eyes found mine, they searched desperately in my red, terrified orbs, "What if I kill this little boy.... a single spill of tea and this innocent child... will be gone...."

She closed her eyes and whimpered. I narrowed my eyes and looked behind me to where Garon left. I clenched my fists tightly and took a deep breath.

"I'll help you. Nicholai, Xander and I's doctor, will no doubt come to us if we call. He'll help the boy and you can study up on being a maid. Ah! I could learn medicines from the doctor to help the child when he isn't there as well!"

"But how can you when you can't read Nohrian... I'll be too busy now."

"I'll ask Xander. Anyone," I took Felecia's hands, "I'm going to help you. We can do this, okay? Don't worry."

"Thank you, thank you so much!" she cried and hugged me tightly.

 

 

Once Felecia was well we decided it must be time for lunch, so we made our way up into the dark daylight of Castle Krakenburg's courtyard. It was filled with purple and blue flowers as they were the only naturally grown flowers that could survive in Nohr's darkness and it's terrible soil. When I first visited the courtyard Xander warned me of those flowers. The blue ones were safe to smell, but if eaten you'd be killed with a very slow poison. It apparently can take days to weeks to kill you since it's poison is slow, but it causes illness like symptoms until then. Xander said Hoshidan ninja import those flowers for poison. 

The purple ones are safe to smell as well, but it's nectar is acidic, touching it could burn a hole right through you if your careless enough. Hoshidan Ninja import those as well....

As I passed the deadly flowers the rather small table came into my sight, three chairs were set up, two were already occupied. Xander spoke with another man across from him. The man wore a white cape, his silver armor glinted in the dim sunlight. He held his helmet under an arm and nodded along to Xander, his hair bobbing along as well.

Xander glanced up to me and haulted his speech. He smiled and waved me over. I gave a confused looked to Felecia and she whispered two little words to me,

"Lord Silas."

I gasped and ran towards the table, "Silas!" I cried. Finally a familiar face that isn't imprisoned! He turned in his chair and smiled brightly. He stood up and bowed. I hugged him. I didn't mind the scratching from his sharp armor.

"Woah! L-Lady Corrin! Your husband is behind me..." he said with a laugh before hesitantly  wrapping his arms around me and squeezing tight, "How have you been little dragon? I've herd the stories of your transformation far and wide! I'm amazed!" my heart ached at the nickname but I remained cheerful. I pulled away and smiled. His eyes widened, "Your teeth look sharper than before."

"They are! When I first changed it made some little additions to me whilst I'm human. Oh! Here, feel this!" I put my pendant into his open hand and thought of Garon and that mystery child, forcing it to warm. Silas raised his eyebrows in surprise before letting it fall back against my chest, "This is what keeps me relatively human."

"I-Interesting." he smiled awkwardly and signaled to a chair. I sat down just as he did and paid Xander no mind whatsoever as he attempted to speak to me.

"So Silas." I began, I herd Xander grunt quietly in astonishment of my lack of attention, "How have your travels in Hoshido been? How is Ryoma faring as King? How was the funeral?" I asked with a bit too much pep. Silas shifted in his seat and gave a small glance to Xander before addressing me.

"I did not attend the funeral as I was a day or two late. As for Ryoma... well... as I was staying in Shisaragi Saizo, informed Ryoma that Kaze must not be safe is he hasn't returned. We assumed the worst and a week afterwards he was considered dead... Soon afterwards the word of Lord Xander cutting down a ninja set to be executed came to our ears. I tell this only to you and Xander as I trust you both," his voice grew quiet, "Ryoma sent Saizo to spy and learned of Kaze's whereabouts in the castle. After returning to us... Ryoma created a letter explaining his arrival."

"Ryoma will be coming here?!"

"He will be coming to the border to have Kaze returned to him. He had previously set it up that Kaze was a messenger to relay the death of your parents to Garon. Kaze was told to tell Garon that as well... Xander says this lie has already been going on without Ryoma's word as well?" he whispered.

"Mostly... Garon thought Kaze to be an assassin and blamed me even though I attacked him."

"You attacked him!" He sat up straight and looked to Xander with wide eyes. Xander nodded, "You attacked him..."

"Once I read about my parents, I transformed into a dragon in anguish."

"I thought that necklace would keep you human?"

"I took it off."

"Corrin.... I-" Silas sighed, "Let's continue without that story then," He pulled a letter from his breastplate and handed it to me, he pulled out another and sat it on the table.

"That one you hold is for you from Ryoma. He expects a reply. The one on the table is meant for Garon. Ryoma would like you both to read that one and make changes according to the lies you've already told Garon. Ryoma and I have similar hand-writing so it will be nearly impossible to tell that I re-wrote the thing. All we need is your seal Corrin. It's a replica of the one Ryoma uses now."

"I have it somewhere." I said as I opened up the letter meant for Garon, Xander looked over to it,

_"To King Garon,_

_It is a pleasure to address you as an equal, but I'm disappointed that I must address you for the first time in this way. Many weeks ago I sent one of my personal messengers to relay word of the honorable king and queen's death, that messenger never returned. I highly doubt that he has died and would request that any misunderstandings between him and you be forgiven and that man be returned to me. I will be traveling to the border on the 20th of this month in hopes to meet with you about trade and our countries relations, I expect to see my messenger with you. I look forward to our first meeting._

_Sincerely, King Ryoma of Hoshido."_

"Strike out personal, in personal messenger. Garon believes Kaze has no relations to Ryoma." I replied as I sat the note down. Silas nodded.

"Anything else?" he asked. I looked to Xander.

"That will be enough, thank you Silas for going through all this trouble." Xander held out a hand. Silas shook it.

"What choice do I have when you royals ask me." he said with a grin, "Honestly though," he sighed, "sometimes I wish my father never gained all that land... then I'd never have been caught up in you two's messes. I was supposed to be a soldier Xander, not some fluffy Noble with actual power in the courts...."

"Ah yes... you trained right?"

"Yes," he cleared his throat,  "when I was younger and first met Lady Corrin," a faint blush tinted his cheeks, "She told me she wanted to marry someone as strong as her brother, so when I got back to Nohr it's all I could do." My face turned bright red, I never remembered saying that.

"So, uh... will I be coming to see Ryoma?" I turned to Xander.

"I don't know... we'll have to find a reason for you to come."

"I can apologize for attacking Kaze!" I rattled off.

"That would do." Xander slid the letter over to Silas and he put it back into his breastplate.

"Does she know about what's under the bed?" Silas whispered to Xander. I smiled faintly, I wonder if he knew my hearing was a bit better than before I ever transformed. Xander nodded. Silas sighed and reared back, "I'll be coming to your room through the tunnel to have Corrin put the seal on the letter then."

"You told him about the tunnel?" I asked keeping my voice down. 

"I forgot to mention that he is also one of the few that know -as of today," Xander began, "I thought it was important to let him know for this operation."

"Don't worry I won't get lost." Silas said with a smile. I chuckled slightly. Soon Flora and Felecia came to our table and set out plates of steaming food. I thanked the women and saw Flora turn away from us for a moment and nod her head towards us. Three cups of tea were pushed up onto the table  from below and I leaned slightly to see what had done it. I held my breath once I saw the sleepy face of a child.

His hair was ice blue like Flora's. It was wild and stuck out at every angle. I looked up to Felecia and she nodded ever so slightly. When I looked back to the boy he was behind his mother, holding and empty tray, staring to me in astonishment... or fear. I smiled slightly and waved. His eyes locked onto my teeth and he grimaced. I sighed and leaned back up to look at our food.

"Thank you again Flora, Felecia and...?" I questioned. Flora cleared her throat before speaking.

"Dwyer. His name is Dwyer Milady. Forgive me for not introducing you to him earlier."

"It's quiet alright. Ma'am, Felecia and I have been summoned to Garon, forgive us for leaving."

I nodded and the three of them left. I sighed and took a cup of tea. Flora doesn't know about what will happen to her child does she? I stared with a grim passion at my tea.

"What's wrong?" Silas asked.

"Ah... nothing really." I took a sip of my tea and met Xander's gaze for a moment, he held it with a soft smile.

Everything after lunch was pointless... I simply wandered about the castle with my retainers following suit and Laslow eventually catching up to me to give me some shreds of a normal conversation. It was so tension filled with Niles and I, and Odin was... odd, in a light hearted way though. Laslow spoke as smooth as butter as he asked me anything from how my day was to what my favorite color was, always holding that look of familiarity in his eyes. The urge to ask him why he looked to me in such a way always bubbled in my throat.

Once night rolled in, I decided to have dinner "by myself." Yes it was just me, myself, and my two retainers watching my every move. I burnt myself on some greasy and gross soup and Niles rattled off some borderline inappropriate comment that nearly made me snap the spoon in half. At some point I even choked and that damned man just sat back and watched with a smirk as I hacked and coughed up a carrot... he continued to provoke me until I broke and stood up at the table, pointing a spoon at the vagabond I yelled,

"Why do you insist on making me angry!"

He had sat up and leaned on his fist and gave me a snake-like smile as he spoke, "I want to see that dragon in you princess. I'm getting closer aren't I?" he had signaled to his head and I raised a hand up to feel stubby horns attempting to snake their way onto my scalp.

"Take me to my room immediately!" I screeched in horror as I tried to cover them up. I thought my dress was getting tight, in truth it was those damned wings! That bought of anger had brought me back to my room where I now sat truly alone at the one-chaired table staring quietly at the painting on the wall.

Leon looked intently into my own eyes. I looked to Xander in the portrait, unable to face the remnants of that boy. I focused on his brown, living eyes. They still looked war torn and exhausted, but less so then than now. I wonder what he looked like before the training and border wars that I know deep down he participated in. If he was a general so long ago, then I know he led that fateful faction of men that nearly killed my mother when she requested peace.

The border wars were a series of battles that occurred on the borders of Nohr and Hoshido. They begun a few weeks after Father was taken, but Ryoma did not initiate it. Hoshidan men with a strike of nationality took up arms and fought. Nohr stood up to us and fought back, they won the first battle and the second, so the people went back home with their dead or wounded and waited 2 years before attacking again. The third battle started small, but grew in size until the bigger people in Nohr's army had to intervene...

Mother got word of the advancement of a rather experienced faction coming to Hoshido to stomp those fighting and she immediately told Ryoma so he could hold down the palace whilst she'd be gone. The first night mother left I remember finding Takumi crying with Ryoma doing his best to console him. I was the one to calm Takumi down... and the one to ask what was wrong. He told me that he overheard guards saying mother would be killed by that new general's men. I had looked to Ryoma with wide eyes, Takumi tight in my arms, and asked him if mother would be alright. He simply hugged the two of us and let out a long exhale.

Mother was shot with an arrow from one of the new general's men whilst she requested peace between the two "armies." The arrow hit her shoulder but after regaining her composure she stood tall and requested that the Hoshidans stand down once she witnessed them begin to rush at the Nohrians once more. Mother told me the stories of two men stepping down from their mounts and approaching her. They accepted the peace. When mother returned home I overheard her telling Ryoma that they refused to tell much of anything her about Sumeragi, just that he was safe.

Those two that met with my mother that day could have been Xander and Leon, or not. I know at least Xander participated though.... I've seen his scars. I've seen the strength. There's no way he didn't take part in at least one of the three battles.

I sighed softly as I met Leon's eyes once more.

"I wish I'd met you." I looked to my hands, "Forgive me for never truly giving you my time whilst we wrote to each other. I know Nohr does not practice what Hoshido does but for now I don't care, I'll give you my prayer to make your stay wherever you are maybe just a bit more comfortable." I put my hands together and bowed m head slightly and murmured something in a long forgotten language. Mother said it asked the gods to keep the soul well and happy in the afterlife.

We were taught that the more prayers said in that tongue to a certain person, the better their afterlife was. If gifts are given to the gods whilst praying, it gives that passed person an even higher chance of being happy as well. That's why I'm waiting before I pray to my parents, I need to find a suitable offering before I even consider it. I want them to be sitting upon a golden throne once I'm done!  

Maybe... if my birth father is there as well... mother will be even happier. I hope he knows of me... I truly hope he does.

 

I jumped in surprise as the bedroom door opened. I grabbed my necklace to calm me as I saw Xander walk in.

"Good evening?" he said as he lifted his circlet off his head and headed to the dresser.

I sighed to relieve my anxiety, "Sorry, you scared me."

"Why don't I make it up to you?" he said as he sat his head ornament down and closed the box it laid in. He turned to face me, his hair slightly crumpled from where the metal had been pushing against it all day. My lips twitched in response but... I couldn't find anything to come back with other than a meager,

"Okay."

He smiled softly and went to the door. He opened it and called out, "We're ready." Laslow and Peri came in the door. Peri held a shimmering oak box, red velvet fabric spilled from its unopened state. I got to my tip-toes to spot my name engraved in a beautiful cursive before the box was handed to Xander. Laslow approached me and held out 5 pieces of lace meant to tie my hair up in. I took them one by one but he held the last one from me. It was a red ,shimmering with color that became purple at the edges.

"Why don't I put this one in for you?" he asked. I nodded, smiling ear to ear already. The lace's were beautiful already, that fact had my mind racing as to what would be in that box.

Laslow went behind me and undid my previous tie and replaced it more masterfully than Felecia. He tied the previous lace to my wrist from behind before retreating to Peri's side. He smiled softly before looking to Xander.

Xander approached me with the box.

"I told you when we first met that I had a birthday gift for you, then I explained once more the night after our wedding. It was meant to arrive that night but when I grew ill it never came. I became injured again and the cycle repeated. Well, now that I'm well and," he looked precautiously around the room, "in no immediate danger, I'm finally ready to give it to you."

He opened the box and there, sat on a velvet cushion, was a circlet of my very own. It was a beautiful rose metal that looked similar to Xander's in design with a few subtle changes. It looked peaceful and had rounded edges. It looked as light as a feather.

"May I?" I looked up to Xander. He nodded and I timidly picked it up. I looked it over and spotted my red eyes glimmering back at me in it's shiny metal. I placed it atop my head and although light in my hands, the item began to push an unrealistic weight upon my shoulders. This circlet was the beginning of a long line of tiaras and crowns that I would wear my entire life. This simple thing was the start of what I would become as Xander's wife and as Queen consort.

"Here, it's backwards." he muttered as he grew closer. He lifted the metal and turned it. Gently he laid it back upon my silver curls and led me to the washroom's large mirror, "Do you like it?"

I looked into those red eyes, and that pale skin, then to the item perched atop my head like a beacon of false security. Most would wear this and feel safe under the royal families protection... but whilst I stare into that pinkish metal, I am fearful of what is to come. I can feel it in my heart that my revelation as a Nohrian will shake my siblings to their very core.  I have lost my childhood love for Kaze... my undoubtable admiration for Ryoma... and the pride and loyalty to my home because their beloved sister's husband is a broken man with dead eyes, and she's realized that she can't bare to see them that way any longer.

Or... maybe I'm just that same indecisive child I was in Hoshido.

"Corrin?" Xander asked.

"I love it." I whispered as my eyes began to burn, "Thank you."

I hugged him tight and buried my face into his chest so he'd not see my watery eyes. He put a hand onto the small of my back and I went stiff. He pulled away as if he'd touched fire once he noticed my rigidness. I unwrapped my arms from around his large form and stepped back. I gave a lopsided smile and looked to Laslow who seemed to hold off a flinch at how award our interaction was. I couldn't blame him.

I stepped from the washroom and Xander sent off the two retainers so it'd be just us. I sat at the edge of the bed and swung my feet absentmindedly. I glanced to my pendant and watched it shimmer in the candle light as I shivered. I'll never understand why Xander's room doesn't have a fireplace when it's always so damned cold at night. Every other room seems to have one... Maybe if I'd gotten any nightgowns with long selves this problem would be fixed. I'd have to ask Camilla.

As I'm required to remain on Castle grounds I've been unable to buy my own clothes. Camilla makes up for me luckily, she's even made some herself. I wear the ones she's tailored the most. They have a motherly touch to them. She's surprisingly well at it, she's said that Azura could put her work to shame any day though. I'd meant to ask Azura about it but she's been oddly absent recently. Even when I do see her she's like a wisp in those halls, I get in a simple hello before she disappears once more. I'm curious as to where she  goes off to. The few times I've caught her leaving, she's always worn the same thing, a white dress with blue lace and a headdress with golden designs on its band. She always leaves at night, and when I step out of Xander's room to be free of his snoring, she always looks so... beautiful as she rounds the corner. I bet she's going tonight. I can't follow her with Silas coming sadly.

I slumped slightly and her a faint crinkle and something poke against my breast. I snapped back up instantly, I'd stashed my letter there and must have forgotten. I glanced to be sure Xander wasn't looking before I pulled it out and popped off the seal off and opening the envelope. I unfolded the letter and looked over Ryoma's words,

_"~To my dearest sister,_

_Kaze has been trapped into the dungeons I've herd. I'm highly unhappy with his situation and yours currently. Xander had been poisoned and beaten and Saizo overheard that you've not been outside the castle walls, I request that you state your current condition to me. I want to be sure your safe. I will be visiting the borders soon and seeing you there would take a heavy weight off my chest, I trust that Xander can get you there._

_I'll be sending mother's letters to you once this mess with Kaze has been resolved._

_Best wishes ~Ryoma."_

A small smile had just begin to trace my lips as the door swung open. I went stiff as my eyes met with Garon's. He narrowed his eyes at my letter. I held my breath as I slowly folded it. I put my foot over the remnants of Ryoma's seal that laid discarded on the floor, the only visible trace that this was from Ryoma that he may be able to see. I stood up and drug one foot slightly as I sat the folded letter on the nightstand. Garon began speaking to Xander about something I couldn't focus on. I kicked the seal ahead of me and collapsed  with a small moan to make my attempt at fainting seem realistic.

"Corrin!?" Xander hurried to my side and crouched behind me, successfully blocking my action from view as I snatched the seal and put it into my corset.

"F-forgive me," I trembled as adrenaline pulsated through me. Such a simple act of secrecy to Garon filled me with unbound energy to do more of the sort, "I've been feeling faint all day." I muttered as Xander helped me up. Garon sighed impatiently as Xander sat me upon the bed and returned to his side.

"As I was saying," the king began, "Those brigands on the east side of Windmire have grown much more violent as of today. They've killed three of our soldiers guarding the gates before attacking 4 citizens. I need you to-" a quiet sliding filled the room and Garon stopped. His eyebrows twitched and he looked around the room for where ever that noise was coming from.

Garon's eyes met mine in accusation and I looked to the floor in response. The noise disappeared as soon as it appeared and Garon returned to speaking. My heart stopped as I saw a hand slither from under the bed. I began a gasp and quickly covered my mouth to halt the noise. Silas must be deaf if he can't tell Garon is in the room.

Dear gods... what will Garon do when he sees him? What will he do to Xander if he find out he- no Corrin, do something about this! Don't let him find them out, Garon didn't care about my letter, nor did he notice the seal on the floor... I can make this work... somehow.

  
I kept my eyes trained on Garon as I slowly got to my feet. He paid me no mind. I glanced down, another hand slowly appeared as Silas emerged. Back to Garon, he spoke to Xander grimly. Xander looked on with seriousness, he nodded, and I saw a glimmer of dread. He clenched his fists tightly, has he seen Silas too?

I crouched down and pushed Silas's hands away. He did the unfathomable... speak,

"What are-"

With the fastest thinking  could muster, every option as to what was happening and what I could do flooded my mind. I'm too small to block the view of Silas's long arms. Laying on my side would be pointless as Garon would be able to see Silas from here. The only way to cover Silas would to make myself wider. Getting angry or upset would do the trick. How would I get him to leave? .... Scare him away. He seemed pretty startled at my story of ripping of my necklace... I could act as if I were going to and he's scurry away like a spider.

Before Garon could even glance at the third person speaking in this room, my mind latched onto the anger Niles had made me feel earlier in the day, and multiplied it by making it seem much worse than it was. I herd a violent rip as I felt new appendages burst free. I fell and curled myself around Silas's arms. One wing unfurled to completely shield what he exposed and I met his eyes. I slammed a clawed hand in front of his face and reached for my necklace. He gasped and tumbled down the stairs and into the darkness before I herd a faint splash. I quickly slid the panel over and let out a weak sigh of relief.

"What in gods name is wrong with you!" Garon yelled. I squirmed uncomfortably in my mutt transformation. Everything burned from how fast my new limbs grew. I whimpered and let a wing fall over and cover me from those two.

My dress was completely ruined. It pooled under my chest from where it ripped, flowing like water. Camilla will be disappointed that I destroyed the one she just finished....

"Get control of your wife!" Garon yelled, he let out a bruting sigh, "Calm her down and come to my office when your done. You've 20 minutes to be ready before the soldiers march. If you can, bring Silas along. I want to see if he's worth anything beside the acres to his name."

He left the room with a slam of the door and Xander rushed to me.

"Silas is in the tunnels." I whispered as I felt him place a hand upon my wing. I groaned slightly as I felt how weak I was. Exhaustion threatened to take hold and force me to sleep then and there. Changing that fast isn't a good idea it seems.

"Thank you Corrin. You don't know how grateful I am. I'll go get S-"

"What's happening in Windmire?" I knew that anything going on in the capital, wasn't a good thing. Xander cleared his throat quietly.

"A group of bandits have killed too many of our people and father wants me and some soldiers to march and kill them before they do anymore damage."

"Will the soldiers be savages?"

"Only one of the 10 coming are. Father's favorite little warrior..." Xander scoffed. I weakly slid the bed panel over and moved away for Xander. He squeezed in and disappeared to the mud filled place.

I sat up and clutched my necklace tight. I focused on it's heat until I could feel no more of my draconic aspects. I took off the remnants of my dress and changed into a simple grey one that reached to my knees.

I padded to the door and locked it. I kept a hand on the door knob just in case someone attempted to force their way in. Who knows why they would though.

I scratched my head to feel the cold metal of my circlet. I gasped and took it from my head, I pray my horns didn't harm it. I looked over to find nothing wrong with it whatsoever. It's just wide enough to allow my horns to appear... most other women's circlets are smaller to surround the head, but mine was made just a bit bigger. He must have asked them to make changes after Xander witnessed my first transformation.

My eyed caught something on the inner side of the circlet. I brought it up to my eyes and squinted. There, carved in so lightly you could hardly see it, was an intricate design of roses and leaves that all lead to the Hoshidan crest combined with the Nohrian one. I ran my thumb over it thoughtfully. A smile caressed my lips as I sat it back upon my head.

  
Soon Xander retuned with the dirtied Silas. I left the door and bowed my head,

"I'm sorry I scared you," I murmured. I snapped upwards, "But gods! Are you deaf! You could have-"

"Corrin, quiet!" Xander scolded just above a whisper, I shrunk down, "We can still be caught. Forging and changing letters, especially from a king, is high treason to both countries."

I nodded.

"Forgive me my Lady," Silas bowed, "I honestly herd nothing... I'm sorry to have forced you to change so abruptly."

I sighed, "It's alright." Xander looked to Silas with a grim face,

"We must be quick with the sealing of the letter. It's completely rewritten correct?" he asked

"Yes." he began to reach for the forgery from under his breath plate but Xander hauled him.

"Your too dirty, it will ruin it."

"I think it's look a bit more real if it was dirtied. It did cross the borders."

"Fine fine, just be fast. I need to change into my armor."

Silas went to the one-chaired table and sat the envelope down. Xander entered his closet and emerged with my box of memories. I opened it and looked upon my letter rolled up in a red lace. My blue kimono glinted at me and I felt a surge of home sickness. I pushed it from my mind and grabbed Ryoma's seal.

Silas took it from me and went pale.

"Xander... we've a problem." My heart stopped.

Xander poked his head from the closet.

"Her seal is wrong. It's different, just slightly so... but it's noticeable."

"Wh-what, I-.. that can't be, didn't Ryoma say it was just like his?!" Xander held back a yell. Silas gripped the table and I could see the panic in his eyes.

"He did... I think he did. No he did! Gods... he must have... why is it different?"

"Alright what is different about the seal?" Xander asked as he emerged shirtless. Silas stared at the seal for a moment before tossing it to Xander,

"The Hoshidan crest. Look, the very, very middle circle in it, is filled it. The spikes on the outer ring of it are too large. I've seen this type before..." Silas shook his head and tapped the table in thought. He raised his eyebrows and met Xander's gaze, "The vendors by the castle used sell these! They're- ah what's the word.... fakes? They're fakes made to trick people to thinking they got a letter from King Sumeragi. They got banned not too long ago..."

"What!!" I cried, I marched to Xander and grabbed my seal, I looked it over closely. My eyes went wide, "He gave me a damned, cheap, fake!? Then forgot!" I yelled. Silas and Xander shushed me, "Quiet!" I replied. My hands shook with anger. The thoughtful parting gift my brother gave me, was instead some cheap little thing he grabbed off his desk before he said goodbye!? I can't believe I never noticed it before either!

I threw the seal onto the floor and grasped my necklace. I tapped my foot and took a few breaths.

"Thanks Ryoma. What a great parting gift to your sister." I muttered.

Silas groaned and put his head into his hands, "What are we going to do? Ryoma expects this letter to Garon immediately, and we can't give it to Garon without a seal. Do you know what he'll do to me? Claim me a traitor, he already thinks it because of how much time I spend in Hoshido!"

"What if you travel back to Hoshido and get him to seal the letter? We can wait."

"Ryoma would come on the 20th Xander. That's 2 weeks. A little more than a week back to Hoshido and then the same back to Nohr? That wouldn't work."

Xander ran a hand through his hair. I kicked the seal across the room and watched it hit the nightstand and skid to a stop by the bed. My eyes found a little round object laying on the ground where I had transformed. I gasped and ran over to it. There, the seal from my letter laid perfectly intact. It had fallen out when the dress and corset ripped no doubt. I picked it up and turned to the two men with a broad smile.

"Would this work instead?" Silas let out a large sigh of relief and I gave it to him.

"The gods are smiling upon us today Xander... Thank you so much Corrin."

Silas grabbed a candle and dripped a few dots of wax on before pushing the premade wax seal on. He kept his thumb pressed down for a moment then lifted up the envelope and flicked it a few times to be sure the seal would remain. He put it back under his breastplate and sighed with relief once more. He sat down at the table and leaned far back in his chair.

Xander quickly changed into his black armor and pinkish cape. He emerged out with that sword that had burnt me when I touched it. He grabbed his circlet and put it upon his head then faced Silas.

"Garon wants you to fight with me as well." Xander explained. Silas smiled wide and stood up tall.

"I'd be happy to help. I'm betting its those brigands in the east?" Xander nodded.

  
"Yes, they've killed 7 people and we're bring ten men with us tonight to kill the bandits. One of them is Hans." Silas crinkled his nose at the name.

"Why him? He's more likely to attack the people then those vagabonds." Xander sighed and ran another hand through his hair. His defiant curl bobbed in front of his face, "I'll join you with this then. I'll go ran my sword and meet you at the gates?"

"I'll see you there."

Silas left the room quickly and Xander faced me.

"It's become a tradition for the members of the castle to see off the soldiers who live here, that are going to fight. Since your in relation to me, you'll be standing in front of Camilla to personally see me off. Soldiers believe a kiss from their wives on the cheek before they leave is a sigh of good luck. Causes less wounds. It means a lot if their general is given that bit of good luck as well."

"You want me to kiss you?" My face grew hot.

"You can do whatever you wish. I just thought I'd inform you of that belief we have."

"Ah, so you believe it's true as well?"

"I believe that it raises soldier moral." I chuckled and Xander spoke once more, "I must be going. Why don't you got to Camilla's room so she can take you upstairs."

I nodded. Xander left and I did as he instructed. Camilla took me where we'd be seeing off the soldiers and I looked curiously to Azura, to find her nowhere. Maids and the visiting nobles lined the exit to castle Kraken burg on both sides facing each other. Camilla and I stood at the very front of one line and I stared awkwardly at a noble laughing my way for no particular reason.

"Will you be sending Xander off?" Camilla asked with a smirk. My cheeks  warmed again and I shrugged, "I can tell you want to dear. Now would be a good chance to try it out you know."

"I.. how would you be able to tell if I wanted to or not?" I asked. She giggled.

"You started blushing at the thought then you asked me in that high pitched way you do when your embarrassed."

"Exactly, it's embarrassing!" Was it?

 "Come now dear, you aren't in grade school anymore. Your a woman now. Don't deny yourself of a man."

"Eh-" my face flamed red, "What do you mean by that!? You know we are talking about your brother here! Is this not award to you?!"

"Step-brother if you want to be specific, but I'm just trying to guide you."

"I'll be fine in this matter Camilla, promise." she sighed before giving me a soft look.

"He would appreciate the gesture, and you may enjoy the action. Give him something to look forward to when he gets home... Let him look forward to having a loving wife no matter the situation you two came to be together."

"He'd be looking forward to s-"

"No. Just someone he can talk to. You know, he very rarely comes to me for things, since he likes to keep his problems to himself and help us instead, but he did recently. You know what he talked about? You. He's amazed at how much you've changed from Hoshido to here. He even told me he's opened up to you a few times. Honey, he likes you and whatever you've been doing."

"I've not been doing much of anything though..."

"You took care of him whilst he was having fevers didn't you? Your training with him now. You have lunch with him."

"That doesn't mean anything though."

"Well, they do to him. He's much more simple than you'd think. Right now, he needs the simple things in life to make him happy. Ever since we lost Elise and Leon, he's been more somber, more simple, even more so than before. I'm honestly surprised at how he acts around you as he hates anything that reminds him of our siblings passing. He keeps things as if they were living, but he can't do that to you, you know." my heart began to ache, "You remind him of both Leon and Elise. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you." she chuckled breathlessly, "I can't blame him. You remind me so much of both Elise and Leon... your so standoffish like him, and childish like her sometimes. I can't help but treat you like them now and then."

"Does he... feel bad when he sees me?" I looked blankly ahead.

"He's said the only time he felt that way when you walked down the isle."

"Would kissing him make him feel bad because I was never meant to kiss him?"

"Oddly enough, I know it won't. It's a tradition type thing." I nodded, and kept my gaze fixated on the red carpet. What if were to kiss him when I wasn't a tradition? Would he shrink away because I was meant to be Leon's? ... why does that though hurt? Why does the idea of never being able to do such a thing seem to squeeze my heart and make it feel like a weight is on my chest, one even heavier than that of the circlet perched upon my head.

  
Soon the people cheered, but it sounded far far off as the 11 men approached, Xander and Silas walking side by side. We meet each other's gaze and he slowed down slightly. Camilla tapped my hand and my heart raced. Slowly I walked towards him and he stopped. He smiled softly but my heart beat so fast I feared focusing on anything besides walking would make me faint.

  
I found myself inches away from him. I got up onto my tip-toes and he leaned down ever so slightly. I brushed my lips against his cheek, but as the thought of never kissing him flooded my mind, I turned my head and found his chapped lips. There I stayed for 3 heartbeats before slowly pulling away. I stared at his chest, before returning to Camilla's side, ignoring the whistles the soldiers gave me.

I met Xander's gaze timidly. He simply stared... and walked on, soldiers laughing and wooting behind him. Camilla bent down and whispered into my ear,

"Your only meant to kiss his cheek."

"Ah yes." I said slowly, "Guess I forgot..."


	7. How the Parchment Embracess Three

The night was cold without him beside me. The smell of his spice was faint as the maids had cleaned the sheets of it. All was silent, and I was left anxiety stricken and terrified as I looked to the bedroom door, my scaly hand gripping my pendant whilst my head throbbed a pounding thought, "Have I hurt him?"

There were so many things I should worry of: is Windmire safe, are the soldiers doing well, how many casualties have there been already, what will Garon do to those spared- if any, will Ryoma's letter to Garon survive the battle, was it even taken out to the battle, or simply hidden away, then is it safe, but all I could think of is, has a kiss -a selfish one at that- caused some internal injury to the diamond shield that is my "husband?"

Gods, the very word is off-putting in our current situation. I can hardly even call the two of us friends, though that doesn't matter in marriages these days. But, you usually know them in the slightest way. My case was a special one...

Can I even be his friend? Something in me wants more, of course, yet, if that can't happen, can I simply love him in a lesser way and have a mutual friendship? 

I can't see it. Something about us seems like a knight and lady type relationship. Some things feel so off-limits that I wish to crawl in a corner and disappear, but sometimes I'm satisfied with crossing that line, if it's laying beside him, or sneaking a kiss, sometimes it's alright to me, but then his more complicated side comes into my view and I want to hide again. Suddenly I feel as if looking at him and holding such feelings behind my gaze, is a sort of betrayal.

I sighed and pulled the covers over my head. Camilla had offered me some tea before we left the hall, I wonder if she'll still have me. That was nearly 4 hours ago though.. Surely she won't be upset if I go to her room...

I shouldered the blankets to cover my wings and darted out of the bedroom to Camilla's room. I pushed open the door swiftly and shut it hard behind me, hoping none saw my horns.

I herd a sharp gasp, and I looked up. Camilla sat calm at a small tea table, looking to me over her cup of some steaming drink. Beside her sat a man so thin his bones were visible on his pale arms. His terror soon faded away, and he awkwardly bowed his head, his long matted white hair falling in front of his face. When he looked back up to me, I saw his familiar purple eyes.

"Good evening, Corrin." Camila looked me over before sipping her drink, "Lock the door." She requested as she retrieved a key and tossed it to me. I scrambled to catch it. It bounced in my hands before dropping to the floor. I grabbed it and hastily locked the room away. The large blanket fell from my shoulders.

"You" I herd the man begin, "Yes, you are that insane woman I saw in the tunnels so long ago. I must ask, are you always with wings?"

"N-no, not usually." I retrieved my blanket and put it back over my shoulders. I turned to Camilla, my voice filled with confusion I asked, "What have I walked in on." I glanced back to the man. He looked scrawnier than before. I wonder, did he ever tell me his name? I've forgotten either way.

"I'm simply treating a guest is all." Camila sat her cup down and signaled for me to sit beside her. I did so and looked across to the man. His purple eyes shimmered in the low light, they had a familiar emptiness, yet some fight still burned behind them if you looked closely. I smiled faintly.

"Y-your name?" I asked.

"Jakob." He replied shortly. I raised an eyebrow.

"Your manners are surprising, considering who your in the presence of." I commented. His jaw tightened.

"I once worked here, but I never made it past my training. Manners were what was first taught." He looked into his cup. I gave him a sly smile.

"What made you not pass?"

"Two mistakes, large mistakes, Milady." He said the title in a mocking tone. "The man taking care of me then, Gunter, was forced to put me out in the cold."

"How long ago was that?" I leaned in.

"5 years." He said curtly.

"Why haven't you left to find a job of some sort? I'm sure saying you once worked here would find you something."

"Saying I was kicked out, that I once worked here, won't give me anything." His bad attitude was evident in his tone.

"Then cut it out. Just say you need work. You look to be starving to death!"

"I will be given none, you must be blind to not see why." He signaled to himself.

"Is that why you stay here and steal?"

"I only take food." He took a drink from his cup.

"It's going to get you killed." I muttered.

"That's enough Corrin." Camilla said. I nodded and gave an apology. I'll have to deal with people much worse in the future... I need to be the better person. Jakob smiled.

"Don't apologize, you aren't wrong." He leaned back in his chair. "I'm surprised I've made it this far." He let out a breath, "No... in truth I'm not surprised. I'm too stubborn to die, or to give up just yet. I've things to do." His fiery gaze met my eyes.

I felt the dragon calm and returned to its slumber, freeing me of itself as I watched him. He took another sip, never losing eye contact. Suddenly, he didn't seem as empty, as if admitting all that was enough to save some part of him. Though he could be blown away in the slightest of winds in his current condition, he seemed strong behind it all.Â 

I put my elbows on the table and clasped my hands together, I rested my chin on my knuckles.

"If I may, what were you training to become?" I asked. He swallowed down his drink.

"A butler, though I wasn't very good. I could barely hold a plate without dropping it."

I snickered with Felicia in mind. My smile soon faded as I thought of her sister's situation. I wonder how Flora is handling all this, what about her son? I can't even attempt to help her personally since she is no longer in my service. Though, I'll be helping her through Felicia. Gods, she will be needing help since she will no doubt be taking up her sister's chores, then she'll be teaching Dwyer... how will she manage?

I looked down at the table as a thought entered my mind. Jakob claimed he was training to be a butler.... maybe I could hire him to help Felicia. Gunter seemed like a rather nice man when I had met him, maybe he will help Jacob as well. No, none of that will work, I've no rights to bring people in or put them in my service since I refused Garon's offer. Now it seems like a good idea to go back and accept, but I can't have him thinking he can control me... he already can without an agreement like that... I must keep up my façade.. So, how would I get Jakob in as a butler? Gunter can't dispute an order from a royal, so we're left with Xander and his siblings. Azura is never here. Xander isn't fond of Jacob, in fact I doubt he'll be fond of any of this... so we're left with Camilla....

Yes, I could get her to order him back into Krakenburg's service. This will be such a great help to Felicia.

"Camilla, I am down a maid now, since Jacob is already acquainted, could we bring him back into our services as my own butler? He could even help Felicia with her work."

"No." She replied. Jakob looked to me with surprise.

"N-no? What? Why not?" She sighed and leaned towards me.

"Darling, Gunter still oversees who comes into this place as a worker to ensure Garon's and our safety, I'm not saying this man is dangerous, but Gunter has doubts of him now, and Garon does not trust him either, not to mention he's already been released before. I've asked about this matter once before Corrin."

I shook my head. "There must be something we can do to convince him. What if you ordered it?"

"I can't control my father's retainers. Neither can Xander. They act of King Garon's order, or their own choices. You can go to my father, or his retainers, but I will not be involved, I doubt my brother will either." I let out a breath. Did I really want to go through all that trouble for him?

I looked to Jakob. His shirt was brown with dirt and tattered so much that I could see his stomach. It was sunken in with long scabs scattering his skin.  I pictured him in the tunnels, crippled, gripping his skin so hard from hunger pains that he ripped flesh, whilst I sipped fine wine and rejected the food I was presented with..

Did I want to go through all that trouble? No, I don't think I want to... but a few minutes of suffering for me will do a lot of good for a man who has been suffering for years... because this isn't just about Felicia... this is about that ill-mannered, curt, annoying, dying man in front of me. He's right though... he is too stubborn to die now, but even so, stubbornness can only do so much.... and I doubt I want to see that flame in his eyes flicker out. In fact, I want to make it grow. I want to make someone's eyes fill with life. I want to be selfless, I want to be courageous, I want to fight... I guess I want to be like my mother. I want to be fearless when everything inside of me is crumbling in terror. The only way I can do that is by taking these small steps, by facing Garon, by giving up on what I knew before and starting anew.

No, I've already re-started. That moment where Xander was brought in from the gallows, bloody and beaten, when his disobedience radiated off of him in a courageous, a stupid, sheen as he struggled to stay awake, all because he decided to act in a more meaningful fashion than anything I'd been through before. Yes, that was the day everything re-started. Suddenly my box of memories didn't mean as much, the blue kimono and note wrapped up tidy beside it, took 2nd place when that man decided to save a part of my innocent past newly shattered, and handed me a rose-gold circlet.

I wonder if anyone will be proud of what I'm doing. Does me standing up to Garon to save this skeleton, merit anything other than my own development?

It doesn't, but that's alright. I don't need a reward for this. I just need to do it. 

"You know what Camilla, I think I will."

"Will what?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I'll go to Garon." I held my head high. She stared on at me quietly. She smirked...then grinned, and then she laughed. It was hearty and full of life. Never before had I noticed how empty her normal laugh was until compared to this.

"I thought you'd have given up right there." She wiped a tear from her eye, "I'm sorry darling, you took me off guard. Your not even considering talking to Gunter, you're going straight to Garon? You must tell me though, why such the change in attitude to him? Yesterday you were terrified of his very presence, and in your situation you're ready to ask him to let this man back into our home? You are a cute one, I'll give you that. But, you must tell me why the sudden change in mind set."

I shrugged, "If I'm going to be dealing with Garon everyday until he dies, I can't spend it hiding... especially considering his interest in me. So, I'll face him until he doesn't petrify me."

Camilla's face froze momentarily. Her mouth slowly turned into a small smile, as if she were hiding a secret.

"When Xander comes home, I want you to tell him that." She said softly. I furrowed my brow. I shook my head in confusion.

"You see, this means something to him obviously, is it good or bad?" 

"When have I ever led to something bad?" She cooed. I scoffed, though I had to force back a smile as I remembered a rather... fruity dance...

"M-...Milady." Jakob began, his voice was quiet, nearly embarrassed. I turned and saw his weary expression, "You-" he paused and looked to the side, "You have said that, you will try to return me to my post, is what you said true?"

"Yes." I nodded.

"I-.... Thank you." his voice was barely above a whisper. 

"Your welcome." He finished off his tea, a hint of awkwardness behind him. 

"Corrin, if you are going through with this, he should be presentable before you attempt to bring this up to father. He will not take him in as weak and filthy as he is."

"I can get him food, and I'm sure with some help by Felicia, we can clean him up."

She watched me for a moment, then took a drink of her tea. "Why don't you take him back through the tunnels, I've fed him enough for today." She smiled, "I pass the torch to you darling." Then waved us off. "Goodnight to the both of you."

"Goodnight." I replied with a small bow of my head. I stood up and unlocked the door, I opened it and checked the halls, I signaled for Jakob to wait in the bedroom and turned back to Camilla as she addressed me.

"Your senses as a dragon are enhanced, I know, but I doubt that you would have come here after hearing me and Jakob speak for hours. What did you need?" Her motherly tone drew me in.

I sighed softly and my hand found my necklace. I thumbed at its edges absent-mindedly.

"I was worrying about my kissing him earlier, and I knew talking to you would make me feel better." I looked off to the side, "Do you think I hurt him with that?"

"I don't know dear, I'm sorry."

"It's alright... have a goodnight."

"You as well."

I left her room and let the door close softly behind me. I held my blanket tightly and leaned against the door with a sigh, I closed my eyes. I was so tired. I loosened my hold on my blanket and began to slide down

"You're looking blissful." A coy voice commented. I opened an eye to see Niles's one eyed stare.

"I'm not in the mood for your games tonight, Niles. I won't be transforming for you anytime soon either."

I walked past him and my hand reached the doorknob of the bedroom. He placed his own on mine and I whirled around. He moved in close, 

"Any secret lovers in there, princess?" He whispered with a smirk. I leaned back against the door, my grip tight on the doorknob.

"None that I can think of." I muttered. He put a hand on the door.

"I'd have thought you would've gone for that ninja, not some filthy man off the streets." he grew closer, "If you needed someone that badly, all you had to do was-" I twisted the doorknob and fell backwards into the room, him on top of me. I let out a cry as I hit the floor roughly. Niles caught himself and managed to avoid falling completely on top of me. Without hesitation he put his hands beside my face, trapping me under him.

"What a wonderful noise you just made Princess." He cooed.

"Get off of her Immediately!" Jakob warned viciously. We both turned to look at him. He held a candle holder in his hand tightly, he pointed it at Niles. Niles scoffed and stood up. He pulled a dagger from his boot and stared down Jakob. I stood up and was pulled behind my retainer.

"I doubted that you were a threat, but you have still entered this place without the permission of a royal. Corrin has no authority in these matters."

"Niles, it's alright, Camilla knows he's here!" I said as I put my hand on his arm, "He isn't going to hurt anyone." He kept his gaze on Jakob, and relaxed.

"As you wish." He sheathed his weapon. I closed the door and locked it. Niles stepped back and stood in front of it. Jakob sat the candle holder back onto the end table and bowed to me slightly. I approached him.

"Come back here tomorrow night and I'll bring you some food. I'll fill Felicia in on all of this and if we get a chance we'll sneak out and clean you up. Have a good night."

"Thank you."

He slid open the tunnel door and slipped inside. I closed it behind him and turned back to Niles.

"So, you've decided to help him?" He asked.

"How did you know he was in here?"

"It's my job to protect you when Xander isn't around, so I watch you."

"What about Odin?" It seemed like I hardly ever saw him. I was beginning to miss his eccentricness.

"Xander ordered me to watch you this time around, and tell him if anything happens. I would say this would be rather noteworthy since -I'm assuming- you're trying to help the only peasant with knowledge of how to enter the castle unseen, who I believe, Xander dislikes, distrusts and-"

"I know, I know! I've been told. Listen, I'm trying to get him back into the castle, and let him be in my service, along-side Felicia. If I want even a chance of this working, I'll need to make him presentable."

"And you plan to do that without Xander noticing? How will you get him that food you've promised him? Xander will be resting after the battle that whole day no doubt. It will be odd if you come in with a bundle of food in your arms, then you'll need the time to clean him up, which I won't lie, will take all day. How will you do all that without him finding out?"

"I-.. I'm sure there's a way."

"Forgive me Princess, but if you were someone else there might be. You're going up against a war general who is always keeping his eye on you. But.. if you do need some help, I could offer."

"Would you?"

He stepped in front of me.

"In fact, I will help you, and not speak any of this to Xander, under one circumstance." I leaned away.

"What would that be?" I questioned.

"That you, right now, become a dragon."

"Fully?"

"Yes."

I'd never been through a full transformation of my own will... What would happen if I tried it? How I even change when I want to even?

I held my arm and looked off.

"I actually don't know how to."

"Ah, that's too bad. Good luck with Xander." He turned and began to leave.

"Are you still going to tell him?" I questioned. He turned and smiled.

"Why of course." He reached for the door, but I halted him.

"Wait! Wait, I-...what if I showed you the closest thing to it." My hand was held out, mere inches from poking his back. I refrained from touching him. He stayed silent, mulling it over I guessed. He turned back to me, an unfittingly dapper air to him, as if our roles of class were reversed. His smirk grew dark.

"This is partial payment. I expect the full... package, at some point." He strolled over to the one-chaired-table and sat down, cross-legged, arms crossed. I took a deep breath to clear the fog squeezing my chest. Something about this whole idea felt wrong... It's alright though.. right? I'm just going to show him some of my transformation. It's not like I'm doing anything risqué or lewd... so it's okay... right?

I bit my lip and grabbed my pendant out of habit. With a deep breath I let go, and hesitantly began to think of anything to make me angry, but instead, this very scene was all I could think of. The embarrassment I'd feel if someone walked in, the horror if Xander walked in, the anxiety of him simply knowing I was showing someone my body, clothed or not. What would he think of me?

My face grew hot as the aches began, and slowly my form changed. My wings grew, and I forced the most of them over the low opening of the back of my nightgown. The tail -what was most humiliating of all my mutt transformation- swayed ever so slightly as it found it's way to the floor. My horns and tendrils around them pushed past my scalp and hair to rest heavily at my head. My fingers ached as the claws appeared, the skin on my arms became scaly and had a blueish, reflective tint. Me teeth sharpened, and I refused to let go of the grip on my lip, making their newfound sharpness dig them into me, and cause bleeding.

I looked down to the ground, my face burning.

"Take off the blanket." Niles said. I looked up to him with a small amount of horror. The blanket gave me security... gave me something to hide behind now more than ever.

My face scrunched up and I held back tears. This wasn't okay. This wasn't alright. This was wrong on so many levels and I doubted anyone could see this as someone's innocent curiosity, or a normal situation.

It wasn't okay.

It wasn't okay.

I'm not okay.

But I still let my grip loosen.. I still watched him as I began to let go of the blanket. A stringy lace strap from my short nightgown slid down my shoulder. My grip loosened. He got up. He got close. He touched me. He touched my shoulder. I was still letting the blanket go. I wasn't stopping. I'm so scarred.

"Stop." He said.

And everything did.. Niles slid my strap back up, and he wrapped his hand over mine, and rested the blanket back onto my shoulders.

"Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see you in full glory right now... but only when you'd be comfortable."

"I never will." I whispered and dropped my head, eyes burning.

"Good." He muttered under his breath. He let go of my hands and I looked up. He put on a smirk. "Sadly, you're a good woman..." he ran a hand through his silky hair, "It's too bad too... we could have had a lot of fun.." He walked behind me and I herd him open the door, "If you ever tire of that prince, you'll know where to find me." My fingers tightened around the blanket.

"Niles?" I asked quietly.

"Yes?"

"Never do this again."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

The door clicked, and I knew he had left. I made my way to the bed and once I laid down, cocooned in the rest of the comforters and sheets, I looked at my circlet on the nightstand, and focused on the warmth of my pendant. Its pulsating slowly pushing me away from my transformation. My lip quivered, but I refused to cry. It was time to stop crying, no matter the circumstances. Nothing happened... and I'm alright now. So why do I want to cry?

I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled the covers over my face. I wouldn't open my eyes until I had fallen asleep and morning came.

 

The day following was a dreary one with rains so violent you could hear it pound against the walls. As I watched from the few window of the castle, I saw the soldiers return home in that downpour, with a few extra following along.

I greeted them all with a smile and watched the extra men pour in. They were bloody, with wounds freshly bandaged. They looked gruff, and glared at me and all in their way, except one, he kept his head down. His boots drug against the floor with a faint scrape, his black and white hair fell down in front of his face. I leaned to have a better look at him, but was intercepted by Silas. I smiled and clasped my hands together.

"It went well?" I asked hopefully. I looked over him to watch for Xander. I must have mistaken one of the prisoners for him, but he was no where to be seen.

"Very. We managed to capture the leader and his closest men. We're going to be questioning them later for information on the other groups terrorizing the city. On the plus, none of our group were injured. We came out unscaved!"

"That's fantastic!" The last of the solders piled in, and the tall prince was no where to be seen. Silas noticed my search and gave me some comfort.

"Xander stayed in the city with Hans to search for the two thieves that escaped. He plans to bring them back here afterwards." I nodded. He held out his arm, "You look exhausted, would you like for me to escort you back to your room?"

"You're the one whose been fighting all night. Should I take you?" He laughed.

"In fact, I'm quite energized. How about we take a stroll around the halls?" He offered. I nodded.

"I'd like that." I smiled and took his arm.

I spent the morning with Silas after that, we had breakfast together and he did his best to entertain me with whatever he could. He eventually knocked over a set of armor, which caused a maid to give us the coldest glare I've seen all year.

"She'll give Garon a run for his money!" Silas whispered as we scurried away.

Soon after that we saw Xander soaking wet, walking down the halls. We invited him to join us in our escapades, but he declined, claiming he had work to do. Silas didn't press the matter further, but I could tell something was off in him afterwards.

"It's as if the man fears a little relaxation. I swear, all he does is work- well, when he isn't with you of course." He had said whilst we roamed the library. "I mean, you're his wife now, do you ever see him just sit down, and do nothing, truly do nothing? Not thinking of work or being stressed, ever?" I had looked down at him from atop the high ladder, pulling the first Hoshidan script book I'd seen in ages.

"No.. I don't think I have."

"I just don't get it. And then, the man won't let anyone help him when he's busy either. Have you witnessed the terror that is him during deskwork?" He put his hand up to his mouth, whispering, loudly, he commented, "It's like he's doing all of Garon's work for him, and if it's true, he's been doing it since he was 14." He had leaned back and scratched his neck, "I respect him a lot for doing it. I've never really been with him before he was busy, but even so... he has a lot of focus and discipline. In truth... he's someone I look up to. That's why I've been with him so often these last few years. Yes, I want to better those on my fathe- my land, but, I can't just have him help and then watch it fail slowly. I need to learn, and I do so beside him, so that's why I'm here. Well," He smiled bashfully as he cheeks reddened, "I come for that, and also to see you..." He briefly looked to the floor. "You're a refreshing face here Corrin. Though people are off-put by your lineage in Hoshido, when they see your bright eyes under that golden crown of yours someday, they'll change their minds about you."

"How?" I'd asked him, whilst I stepped down the ladder's steps. I was relieved to know that the people still think I'm Hoshidan royalty by blood.

"They," he took my hand and guided me down the last steps, "will see how good you are for this Kingdom." He leaned into my ear and whispered, "They'll see how much better you'll do than Garon and his mistresses and his father after that."

I shook my head with a small smile, "You're going to get yourself killed saying things like that!" I chided. He smiled wider and drew a line across his neck.

"Then I'll die spouting my honesty, and they'll cheer."

"Yes, they'll be cheering all right." I rolled my eyes and walked right past him. After that I had spent my time reading until Felicia and Dwyer came to tell us of an invite to lunch with Garon and Xander. We accepted -of course- though, I was suspicious of what was going on.

As she led us to the dining room, I gave small glances to her weary face, her eyes were red, and her cheeks were stained with tears. With a sympathetic look I gave her hand a squeeze.

"I'll find you later." I whispered to her. She nodded and we parted ways as we approached the doors. Silas took my arm and led me into the room.

My shoes clacked prudently against the marble floors as we approached the endless table. Hundreds of chairs passed us by, tens of chandeliers as well, until the tiny specks at the end of the table turned into people. Garon sat at the very head of the table, a grandiose chair beneath him. Xander sat at his right, and to his left were Gunter and Inigo. Nervously, I took my place beside Xander, Silas beside me. I folded my hands in my lap and glanced to Xander. He stared on, straight ahead, serious. He was both defensive and offensive at the same time, yet after that, he was unreadable.

I took a peak to Garon, who stared me down without restraint. I swallowed nervously... but I took a deep breath and straightened my back. I turned ever so slightly in my seat, and stared the king down with as much inconspicuous confidence I could muster above the table... bellow, I'm sure I was ripping that poor dress from how tightly I was gripping it.

"I've been informed that you had a message for me Silas." Garon said out of the blue, his eyes focused on me.

"Yes sire, I have it right here." He stood up, Gunter and Iago both did as well. He looked over them with a dark glare in his eyes. He reached under his breast-plate, and handed Iago the letter. Iago then handed it to Garon who popped it open, the wax seal rolled in front of Xander. I doubted he noticed. He looked onto Garon with a fake curiosity as he read over the letter.

Garon smirked, then sat the letter down, he rested his head on his palm, his index finger resting upon his temple.

"When did you arrive to the castle?"

"Yesterday morning sire." He had no emotion in his voice, no expression on his face, like Xander, I couldn't read him.

"And you waited till this afternoon to bring this to my attention, apparently told Xander of it as well, I'd assume Xander scurried away and told his little wife of this as well, hmm?"

I feigned innocence, I tilted my head slightly and furrowed my brow. He laughed.

"Tell me Silas, why would any messenger wait so long to bring this up?"

"I couldn't hand it to you with knowledge of our deployment to Windmire could I?"

"Yes. Yes that is right isn't it. Hmm." He let go of his face and leaned forward, "But I didn't even know I'd send you off to battle till... Noon. I did not inform you till well in the night, a night in which you could not be found, though, until you mysteriously came from Xander's room after I left. I must also add that the little wife, was acting very strange... but no, of course, Iago must have lied to me when he told me that. He didn't overhear a sort of... panic that night did he, something about a seal, being a fake? No of course not...." He looked back to me with a grin, "But if this is all somehow true, he herd you, little princess."

I went stiff.

"Father-" Xander as cut off as Garon slammed his fist down.

"And you, I was told that you, my own son, had spoken with Silas earlier in that day about that letter, so why don't you tell me what is going on here." Xander leaned in.

"What are you trying to imply?" The tension was thick in the air.

"Would King Ryoma care so much about one messenger? Or would you, the man that cut that man's rope, care, so much, that you'd be willing to forge this up to kill me, to take my throne, once we were at the borders?"

"I would never think of it."

"Then, Silas, is this letter true, and all of this one big... misunderstanding?"

"Yes sire, we would never do anything to put you in jeopardy. Our lives are yours." He bowed.

"And Corrin?"

"I would assume so. I've been unaware of this till now."

"Assuming is nothing." My blood ran cold. I've made a mistake haven't I? Garon waved his hand,

"Xander, Silas, step away."

"Father what are you doing?" Xander's voice held the tiniest bit of panic. He stood up and placed his hands against the table. "I don't know what your planning to do-"

"Gunter, force him away." Garon ordered over him. Gunter stared at Garon, before nodding. He grabbed him by the shoulders and led him away. Xander kept his worried gaze on me. Silas followed them hesitantly.

My breathing became shallow and I couldn't move as Garon ordered me too. Iago forced me to my feet.

"Iago, if you would, keep those two from talking about any of this situation for now."

"Father! No Stop wait we-" with the snap of his fingers, suddenly Xander began to struggle with his words until he stared on in pure horror at him. Silas attempted to -what I assumed- reveal what we had done, but simply could not speak. The both of them glanced to each other, and at the same time, they bolted. Xander was restrained by Gunter, though Silas made good distance before Iago attacked him with some sort of fire magic. Silas fell instantly and was left unconscious. His face looked red... smoldering.

"Silas!" Xander yelled.

Something in me gave me an option... run, to no avail, or fight. And for some reason... the latter made sense. Without needing to rile myself up, the moment I gripped the pendant, my wings busted through the dress. Using them to give me a boost, I shot forward at Garon and with my clawed hands, I aimed to give him another scar.Â 

He grabbed my wrist and without any thought I bit down hard on his arm. Blood filled my mouth and I instantly let go, I spat it out and my whole body shook as I held back the urge to vomit. The blood I had smelled from past horrors, and tasted from transformations smelled of iron, and tasted bitter, sharp even.

His tasted of rotting trash, no he tasted of what I imagined a rotting body smelled like... better yet, it seemed as though I did nothing to him mentally. There upon his arm sat a bite nearly through the side of his arm, yet he threw me down to the floor not out of pain, but out of disgust. My head slammed against the tile, and I felt everything revert.

Garon picked me up by my hair, lifting me off the ground. In my haze I struggled against him, but could do no real harm. Xander yelled unintelligible words, obviously knowing what was going to happen to me. I had a hunch.

"Now, you're going to tell me the truth about this letter, and you can tell me at your own pace." Garon said.

"I'm not involved!" I pleaded.

"Iago," He held me out to the mage as if I were a goodie-bag. I grabbed at my hair desperately. My fingers were raw within seconds as I tried to saw off my hair only with my fingertips, "Do what you wish."

With a smirk, he snapped his fingers, wind pounded me and Garon let go. I was stuck up in the air from his updraft, and could do nothing to free myself.

"Father! Please no! Let me speak!" Xander cried, he struggled relentlessly against Gunter. Garon took his place beside his son and looked on at the show with a scowl.

I stared at Iago with wide, terrified eyes as he circled me. My hair whipped around my face violently. My dress bellowed all over.

"This is unfitting for you... Yes." He muttered a phrase under his breath and I fell onto my feet, the wind stopped. But I couldn't move. I felt petrified, literally. Iago circled around me once more, "Much better. King Garon, you said I could do what I wished?" His weasely voice asked.

Garon waved him off. Iago smirked like a snake. He stood closely to my side and trailed his fingers up from my hip to my waist, then he halted as Xander threatened his life, he laughed quietly before continuing up, slowly just at the top of my ribs. I stared at him with wide eyes as he decided something...

He flattened his palm and brought it up to my neck where he wrapped his hand around it gently. Slowly, he moved to cup my cheek and his face moved to the opposite side of his hand. Down he went until I could feel his sticky breath against the curve of my neck.

"You truly are a beautiful girl... I'd hate to ruin it for you... so, tell me princess, what is so important about this letter."

"I. Don't. Know." I spat. Xander could say nothing, though he tried. Iago smiled against my neck, and I felt something warm and wet against my neck. "Stop." I whispered. I pictured that it was Niles saying it, and that everything would... but no, it was my frail voice, broken, pleading for it to end just as it began.

"You know how to end it."

"No, I don't" I pleaded, with tears in my eyes. He licked up my neck and the side of my face without restraint. I let out a sob and struggled to turn away, but under his magic I could do nothing.

"You bastard!" Xander yelled. His fight against Gunter was becoming more and more intense. How could that old man keep him so tight?

"You must forgive me princess," Iago began as he held my face, "but I can't bare to destroy you, without enjoying you first." Suddenly, he thrusted his hand into my stomach, and a burning shock entered me. I cried out and squeezed my eyes closed as tears streamed down my cheeks. Xander cried out from afar. Iago trailed his hand up my stomach, right along my scar, and I screamed. He moved the same he did as before and stopped at my neck. I couldn't breath as he squeezed and harmed me. Xander's screams became dull, and things began to go black.

I wanted to tell him. I tried to, but then as he let up, and leaned in close to hear me admit to everything we did to that letter, that we changed one simple word, as Xander halted his cries, I saw the visions of him being beaten and whipped, and I couldn't do it.

"Burn in hell." I whispered. With a cry of anger he slapped me across the face. He stepped away from me for a moment. He ran his hand through his oily black hair and turned back to me.

"I can see physical pain won't do anything. That's fine."

He opened a purple tome and flipped to a page far in the back. He looked me in the eyes and muttered something I couldn't understand.

Everything went black. I couldn't feel, I couldn't see. Everything was gone. It felt endless. Until everything hurt. Every inch of my body cried out in agony as it rolled over me. A noise, so loud I could feel my ears bleed, began without restraint. Just like that I felt nothing. I couldn't think or breath, and I felt like I was suffocating. I felt tingles travel all over me and I reached out blindly for something, anything, but I didn't even feel air, nor ground. It became harder and harder to tell what part of me was feeling something. I didn't know what was left of me, if any.

The deadly sound returned, and pain came back even worse than before. Then it stopped for a moment, I felt tingles all over me, then it returned more unbearable. On and on the cycle continued until I felt myself die. It was like a snap, and suddenly the nothingness was multiplied, the pain ended and I didn't seem to exist. Another snap, and the world busted before me.

I collapsed to the ground. Bright lights blinding me.

My eyes burned, and my throat was raw. I stared blankly ahead. My fingers twitched as they scratched at the ground. I tried desperately to focus on something, to ground myself, but the feeling of my fingers wasn't enough. Everything else was numb, and the room was quiet..

Xander's scream of pure agony pierced through the air and I remembered where I was, but not why. Gunter cried out in pain.

I was scooped into protective arms and brought into their lap. I screamed bloody-murder. Slowly I was rocked back and forth, panicked muttering, whispering, shushing, filled my ears. It was Xander. The terror in my body eased.

"It's okay. You're alright.... Breath, breath for me, little princess. Corrin. Corrin!" I took an intense inhale of air, realizing I was refusing to breath moments ago, even so, I forced myself, and took in fast gulps. It wasn't enough air, I couldn't breath. I couldn't think.

He jerked away from something violently.

"Don't touch me!" He warned. He pulled me closer into him and scooted away.

"Gunter, Take the girl." Garon ordered.

"Leave us be!" he bellowed. His embrace around me grew tighter. His fingers gripped my dress with a dead-lock grip.

"Gunter. Now."

"Forgive me." Gunter whispered.

Xander leaned over me as I felt a hand gently touch my shoulder. The contact made me cry out in panic.

"Stop! She can hardly breath, do you think she can even tell you want you want?!"

"Gunter!"

I felt Xander struggle against the older man, and win the fight, though Gunter tried again, managing to grab onto my shoulder, his clearly upset face came into my sights. Xander pushed him off of him and the man stumbled out of my line of sight.

"Don't do this to me Father!" He screamed, his voice cracking, "I have lost everything! Don't take her with you, I know you'll kill her!" He let out a gut wrenching sob, "I can't take another loss! Please, don't take her from me!" He sobbed, rocking my limp body back and forth, he nestled his head on mine and I felt his body tremble, I felt his tears wet my scalp. He squished himself closer in on me. My heart felt empty, and all that seemed to be keeping me grounded to reality was his grasp.

Aside from Xander's near silent sobs, there was no sound... save for the far off click of a door closing. Xander took in a shaking inhale and got to his feet, me nestled close into his chest. I looked up desperately at his face as everything began to come together. I understood what was happening. I understood the reasons of what occurred. But I watched him to keep myself stable, and to focus away from how easily I could fall apart.

He trembled, and tears rolled down his face, as he tried to compose himself- to little success.

He broke into a run and left the dinning hall. Our retainers, who must have been waiting outside of the doors, instantly clumped around us to make the journey more private, and safe, though it did not deter maids from following us in curiosity.

"Get away!" Xander ordered as he made it to the royal hall. Odin opened the door to our room for him. Peri popped in to grab the key and lock the door, leaving it in and closing it to save Xander from doing it, as they knew he wouldn't.

He quickly got into the bed and placed me back in to his protective embrace from before, though he wrapped his legs around me as well. He threw the blanket over us. He held onto me tighter and tighter until suddenly, he let out a sob.

"This is all my fault. I'm so sorry." he whispered. "You wouldn't stop screaming... you wouldn't stop, and then you did and I saw your chest stop moving. I thought he had-" He bit down a cry and gripped me closer to him. He sobbed into my shoulder in the darkness under the blankets.

"I can't lose any one else. I can't do it anymore. Everywhere I go I am reminded of how terrible my Kingdom is, and then, I'm reminded of-" He held me tighter. "I always think of Elise as I roam the halls. She'd always jump and play, and she'd hold-" He stopped and whimpered, "she'd hold my hand and drag me around." He let out a quivering breath, "Leon... he haunts me at every step. I see his books, I see his legacy, I see what others couldn't because I was always in the way." He sobbed and sniffled, he struggled to regain the strength to speak, but managed to go on "And then I see you, I see you and I see how perfect you would have been for him. How much he would have loved you, h-he would have been so protective. He'd have claimed you the second he saw your true personality, and he would have gotten jealous at anyone who would have looked at you.... and now, now like everything I stole you away from him." He sobbed.

He trembled violently, before mumbling in exhaustion, "I tried so hard to refuse the marriage... So, when it became official, I thought I'd only try to protect you, be there for you, and surround you with all of Leon, but I was sick and could only give you his retainers. They adore you. And IÂ  I wanted to adore you too, but I can't. I can't because when I begin to adore you, and think of you, and I can remember how Leon yelled at me for stealing his glory, for always shadowing him, and in his death I'm doing it again. I can't steal you from him." He held me tighter, "But you're one of the last things I have left to care about. I need my family, I need someone and I want it to be you so bad.. and I can't bare to see you hurt. I can't watch you in pain. Because I have the urge to hold you like this. But you aren't mine to hold." He nestled his face closer, "But I need you. And I need to hold you right now." His words trailed off into a faint whisper. "I need to touch you, and feel that you're okay now." He slowly slid down onto his side. He crossed his legs and arms around me, and scrunched his body up to keep me entrapped against his chest as he very quietly cried against me

I felt him ball up his fist, and his tears, slowly falling on my neck, stopped.

"They've been watching us. I know it." He said quietly. "Garon has had Iago spying on us for god knows how long now. I should've known, I should've been more careful. I could've prevented all of this from happening, but I didn't even think of them spying on us, even when they've done so my whole life." He sighed wearily, "He thinks I'm a threat to him now.. and he's desperate to find any means to harm me because of it... even so, I have to respect him, and still, he is my father."

"L-..Letter." My voice was nearly unusable from all the screaming I must have done during my torture. Xander went stiff before his fists relaxed and he rested his hands on me.

"Ryoma is still coming. He still wants Kaze. Just because Garon doesn't believe us, doesn't mean it's not happening. And you, you must tell Garon everything, you have to say I've organized all of this because I can't watch him beat you. I can't see the aftermath either. I can't take it..."

"You care about me?" I managed to say. He squeezed my arm gently.

"I believe Leon would allow it." He muttered into my hair.

"What wouldn't he?" My heart twisted as anxiety came over me. Xander paused, then answered me.

"Do you remember- when I first met you- how you went outside to gather cherry blossom petals?"

I nodded, that movement alone made me nauseous.

"I had watched you, and I saw just how innocent you were, and I promised that I'd keep you that way. Then you were attacked, and transformed. I understood I couldn't keep you that way, so I intended to keep you safe, to protect you, then I was injured, over and over, and I saw you change into something terribly wonderful. Suddenly, you didn't despise me, and began putting things behind you, and you took care of me."

I looked at the dark bedsheets under us, and I poked at it slightly as he spoke.

"You grew up in a matter of weeks. Now, I see you and can hardly tell that you were that little princess I saw in Hoshido... You had fair skin, and a bad attitude, now you have scars and- you've just changed. I feel like-" he sighed quietly, "like I can speak with you without restraint. But the more I do so, the worse this becomes. I... not only care for you, I adore you, I-..." His grip loosened, "but I can't. I won't. Not when you're not mine. Not when I see Leo, staring straight back at me through your eyes."

"You can't... love me?" I bit at the inside of my cheek. He sighed, his grip loosening further.

"No...I can't, but that doesn't keep me from caring so deeply of your well-being that I feel myself stop breathing. My little princess, no matter my feelings for you, I will always protect you... and I will make all of the suffering you've endured today, up to you."

"Kiss me." I blurted out. No, no what was I doing. Stop this Corrin!

"W-" He paused, I felt him let out a strangled breath against my neck. "I know you are delirious, in pain still, and I've no right to ask but, yesterday, when you kissed my lips, did you mean to?"

My heart raced out of my chest. Tears leaked from my eyes from his confession, his gut-wrenching confession. I was selfish that night, and knowing now his reasons for his feelings, I've disregarded them. How could I be so cold? How could I do this again, how could I !? I haven't grown up, I'm just a child, screaming in her mind, being tortured, and watching those she loves be hurt!

"Yes." I whispered. His hold faltered, and with his chest pressed against me, I could feel his heart speed up. He stayed still, petrified even, until he managed to pull me even closer into him. He gently moved the hair sticking to the back of my neck away. I stiffened as his lips met the skin there. He seemed to linger, before pulling away.

"It's all I can do." He muttered.

My jaw trembled, and with that action, the pain from before, and the new pain welling up inside of me mingled together to form a heart ache of all things. I whimpered, and balled, as my body was overtaken with tremors.

Xander shifted to sitting up, and placed me in his lap, my head against his chest, his hands at the middle of my back, letting the blanket fall around us. I wrapped my petite arms around his form and sobbed into him.

"I'm so sorry, my little princess, that I have done this to you." He himself sounded broken, and it only made my tears fall faster.

I hiccupped, and gasped for breath and as I inhaled that spice radiating off of him, I thought that, how terrible, that a husband could not love his wife... and how worse that she may even love him.

How terrible that I've done this to myself.


	8. Hearts and Ankles

Not long after I managed to pull myself together, Xander had fallen asleep with me still on him. Carefully, I slipped off his lap and onto the floor, my feet walking a careful line as I very quietly went to the door. I had things to do... whether the day had been a rough one or not.

I twisted the doorknob and as I stepped outside, I glanced back to Xander. Dark circles surrounded his eyes and the faintest of lines traced down his cheeks to his chin. His mouth hung open ever so slightly and I could hear his slow deep breaths.

I closed the door. My legs were shaky, but mostly stable. I held my pendant to feel its reassuring warmth and willed myself to believe that I was holding Mother's own hand, giving me the courage I often needed from this necklace.

I needed to have Mother and Father's offerings soon, they must be waiting eagerly for my gifts. I hope they're comfortable so far. Actually, of course they are, the people of Hoshido must have dumped buckets of gold and fruits into the waters for them. They really were beloved rulers... I hope Ryoma can live up to what they left for him..

I turned and began walking with a careful gait to the dinning hall. Every movement made my abdomen burn, the pain from my scar resurfaced, and my neck felt sunburned terribly, though I knew it was the injuries from the physical torture I endured. The phantom pain I felt only left me internally sore. Luckily the mental trauma was a minimum. 

With that I must ask myself, am I more terrified of Garon knowing he isn't afraid to beat and hurt me in front of others? Of course. But as long as I'm not doing anything to get me killed, everything will be fine. Or at least, that's what I'm telling myself to get the courage to speak to him about Jakob. I defiantly won't be bringing it up until after Ryoma's visit, and maybe, just maybe, some relations between this terrible family I've been pushed into so violently into will have some stitches made for all its wounds. 

What am I even thinking? Garon won't change. He chooses not to when he could so easily do so. No king needs to be so cruel, and unkind to his people.

I approached the dinning hall with a twinge of fear in my gut. I pushed it down and cracked open the door. Three maids cleaned off the tables, not noticing me as I peeked inside. Silas was no where to be found. Hopefully, he was taken to a doctor.

"Corrin?" A voice said from behind me. I jumped and tumbled into the dinning hall. "Oh goodness!" I looked up from the ground to see a dainty hand held out for me. Felicia looked to me with worry. 

I took her hand and got to my feet. I looked to her side to see that Dwyer was no where to be found.

"Where's the little one?" I tilted my head.

"I left him in the maid's quarters so I could find you as some of the others said they saw you being rushed to your room in a panic from Lord Xander. They said he was crying! I feared the worst!" She held her hands together anxiously, her eyes darted between mine before she wrapped her arms around me. "Oh gods if you were dead- I don't what I'd do!" Her icy clutch tightened, "I'm such a terrible maid, and I don't deserve to serve you at all! I'll be trying even harder after all this, Miss!"

"Felicia, you don't deserve to serve period. You shouldn't have to clean up after people your whole life." I said whilst I returned her embrace. She sighed and pulled away. She wiped a tear from her eye and smiled softly. She cupped her mouth and whispered.

"I may not have to, actually. When Garon passes away my father is going to barter me and my sister back so we can help with the tribe. I'm supposed to be chief eventually!" She leaned away.

"What? Wait, what tribe?" I asked. Was she from the wind tribe? Or maybe the fire tribe?

"The ice tribe. My father is the reigning chieftain." I furrowed my brows.

"How would the two daughters of a chief become maids?" I questioned.

She sighed. "It's a very long story, but enough about that, what happened to you!?" Her eyes were filled with curiosity. You could hardly see the exhaustion behind them.

"I-" Could I really tell her all of it?

Well, if I could tell my retainers, I could tell my head maid... most of it anyway "I was injured by Inigo as punishment from Garon. It was horrible." I admitted. She gasped and without warning pulled a dagger from the ties of her dress.

"I will protect you Milady if it's necessary!" She called out with a swipe of her blade. I raised up my hands.

"No, no, I'll be fine! And put that away! Why does everyone here either have some concealed weapon or waltz around with a gigantic sword!?"

Felicia fumbled to place her weapon back. She looked back to me with an eyebrow raised, smiling.

"Don't the ninja conceal their weapons as well? If not, that's very surprising. But, we all have them for our own safety and to protect those like you. Every single person here is prepared for an ambush or attack. Even Dwyer can handle a dagger, but he won't be fighting any time soon."

I rubbed my forehead with astonishment. Dwyer's name though, caught my attention as I remembered my meetings with Jakob.

"Ah! I have some news, we'll be having some extra help soon, depending on how events play out."

"Really?" she clasped her hands together, "Who is it? Some knight or-..."

"His name is Jakob." Her face fell.

"What? ...no, Corrin, that isn't his name." My face grew red in slight embarrassment. I thought she'd be excited..

"It.. it is. What's the problem?"

"Corrin... Jakob can't be here. He's already been kicked out. There's no chance, and Flora.. gods, I don't even know what she'd do." Her voice was panicked.

"What? Why? What happened?" She considered me for a moment. Hesitantly she nodded, as if telling herself it was okay.

"Jakob is Dwyer's father." She admitted plainly. She scoffed. "I'm sure you can understand why he was kicked out." Her voice took a pained turn, "We tried so hard to keep it a secret, but she started showing and Gunter.. he just knew. He was so angry but still tried to help him. But... Garon found out and he was released. Flora did her best to help Jakob, but Garon caught wind of it again and punished her. We've been forbidden to be around him. Flora has simply distanced herself from his memory, and won't listen to any news of him to keep herself safe. In her mind he is worse than Garon now."

I ran a hand through my hair as remorse bubbled over the hole in my chest.

"I-... I said I would help him."

"Corrin? Gods..."

I gripped my dress and thumbed at its fabric. I pursed my lips as I considered the options I had... "Do you think he only wants inside to see his son?" I asked. Felicia nodded.

"I can see no other reason. Jakob was the type to either fix things, or move on. No in between."

"Leaving him out there longer will kill him..." I sighed. "Felicia, forgive me, but I will be doing this."

She looked down.

"I admire your hope in this plan working. I only ask that I am not involved."

"I'm sorry." I muttered. She smiled.

"It's alright. Fine even. I just-" she shrugged, "Good luck."

I decided to leave that conversation closed, and go on.

Together we left the dinning hall and I decided to walk with her to the maid's courters as I'd never really been before. We chatted idly, but at some point, I managed to bring up a question I'd had all day.

"If I can ask, how did Flora handle the news?" I asked. Felicia kept her gaze on the floor. She watched the patterned tiles with a focused expression. Her jaw trembled ever so slightly. She bunched up the bottom of her dress.

"She locked herself in her room and has refused to come out to serve Garon." She closed her eyes tightly. "I-.. I'm so scared he's going to break down the door or something, but he's being oddly sympathetic to her, and- and I don't know what's worse!" She threw down the fabric in her grasp.

"Keep an eye on her... people do scary things when they feel cornered or scared, especially by Garon." She looked back up to me."Speaking of all.... this: how is Dwyer doing?"

"He doesn't understand." She smiled bitter sweetly. "But then today, he said something that made me think he did."

"What was it?" I asked.

"He said, "Mommy is gone forever now, right?" and I was astonished, thinking: what does he mean? Is he alright with it? Why would he be? She gave him the cold-shoulder a lot, but... would that be enough to make him hate her? What if he doesn't want me to take care of him?"

"I-... I'm sorry, but I'm not very good with children. I mean, I was one not long ago considering my age and all."

"Age doesn't mean anything. I had to grow up a lot earlier than most. Me and Flora both." She crossed her arms. "It seems like there are no children in Nohr anymore. Just tiny adults waiting to sprout."

"It's not like that in Hoshido. Though it was all I knew, the capital seemed like such a happy place." I gave a soft smile. "Even the elderly acted like children sometimes. And I didn't have to grow up, though there at the end, my father pushed me to. In my situation, as a child so far away from the throne, I'd never have to worry about being so serious and adult-like, and I had it planned that I'd hand it over to my younger brother if the torch fell to me. I never planned to rule."

"What was your, "never growing up plan" then?" She inquired, her usual pep slowly coming back.

"I was going to marry Kaze- that ninja locked in the cells- and I'd let him take care of me. I guess I wanted a family. Such an odd thought for my mentality, but.. then again maybe not. Although it won't happen now -of course- I think that it was a good plan. Except for the fact I thought I'd never have to do anything once married, but until then, the broad idea seems good."

She snickered and looked back up to me. "I know I shouldn't ask, but, what's the "plan" now?"

I hummed as I thought it over. Plans really don't work nowadays, but If I had one... 

"Stay by Xander's side, support him, help him, I'll do what I can for him... as much as he'll let me of course. I.... don't know if children will ever be in the picture as of today, b-but that's alright! I don't need kids I-if I'll be r-ruling Nohr. I'll be busy enough to not think about it." Or him. Or what could've been if he could have some sort of affection for me.

My heart twisted in anguish as I pictured the warm embrace we shared today, dissolving into a cold nothingness. I bit my lip hard. It'll be better if I get over him soon. Luckily he's older than me by.. a little. I can just remember that. Though... late 20's isn't that bad. He's aged well. He's handsome, I can admit that much right? No. Think of grey hair in comparison to your- damn, I've already got silvery hair. So, he's Mr. Tall -very tall- dark, and handsome. 

Yes, hello my name is Mrs. Short, dramatic, and draconic, I'm going to be queen one day! Aren't you excited! I know I am!

"I really would've expected you two would have children, you've both been getting along well recently." She smirked, "Half the monarchs don't even need that to have babies." She muttered.

I spat out a laugh. It was like that Hoshido as well. I'd always overhear mother ranting to Oboro about things of that sort. _"What's the point of having a child with him if she despises him! They don't even need an heir! Oh, and what would her "lover" think? I doubted he even knew she was married! Pah! what does it matter..."_

_"Why don't we invite her to tea again, I can drop some sake in her cup, and we can get all the dirty details."_

_"Good idea!"_

Come to think of it, Mother may not always be the best life example... 

After Felicia and I parted ways, I went off to search for the kitchens. Jakob needed food, and if I was lucky, Xander would still be asleep by the time my errands were finished.

As I neared the doors, they flipped open hastily. Niles stumbled out and looked to me with momentary surprise. He smirked.

"Considering Odin, me, or Xander isn't with you, I'm going to assume you're not supposed to be out and about, especially after lunch." He stated with the quick rise and fall of an eyebrow.

"Xander didn't say anything as I left." I replied slyly..

"Whatever you say." He hummed. He walked past me, and I quickly turned to follow him.

"So. What are you doing with all that? What is it, actually?" He kept his eyes ahead and shifted to hold the bundle better.

"I assumed you'd be unconscious for the rest of the day, so I decided I'd feed your pet for you. I know where his camp is anyways." My eyes widened. I clapped my hands together and skipped for a beat.

"Really!? Oh, Niles thank y-" He held the bundle out to me. I stopped in my tracks.

"Considering you're better now, you can take it."

"What?"

"Go in, set it down at the top of the stairs of that tunnel that defiantly isn't there, and he'll find it. Be sure Xander doesn't notice."

He dropped the bundle out to me and left curtly. I was left alone, stunned, in the middle of the hallway. After a moment to collect myself, I began the journey back to my room, pondering how all that happened and why?

I shook my head and held the bundle with one hand, letting it hang at my side. I swung it absent mindedly in my walk. 

The rains had stopped for now, though the thunder still bubbled now and then. Surely another storm just as bad was brewing underneath the calm. I sighed softly. I wonder if I could go out in it... for only a moment. It's been so long since I felt rain. I've been cooped up inside, with only a few trips to the courtyards now. Gods, what I'd do for freedom.

Soon I came to the Royal hall. The smell of spice was strong in the air, as was a familiar cologne. Garon no doubt. The taste of rot entered my mouth. I spat and shook my head at the memory of me biting into his arm...

I approached the bedroom door cautiously and leaned down to look through the key hole. Though blurry, I could see that no one was inside. I opened the door and came in without worry. I shut the door with my foot and went to the bed. After sliding open the trap door, I sat down the bundle with a smile.

"Corrin?" Came a voice from behind me. In my shock, I fell inside the tunnel and down the stairs, rolling over myself a number of times. I fell into the thick mud face first. I turned my head away and gasped for the air that was knocked out of me. I glanced ahead to see the bundle of food illuminated by my pendant. I hastily tossed it further down the tunnel and out of the soft light from my fear. I sat up and coughed away the mud from my mouth. I herd Xander rushing down the stairs, calling my name. I turned my head to the side.

He came in front of me and helped me stand, but a pain sharp as a blade bolted through my ankle. The instant a cry left my mouth he scooped me up into his arms and hurried up the stairs. He bounded through the room then into the bathroom where he sat me into the warm waters of the bathing pool against my protests. In pure amazement I watched him leave, treading mud from his dirtied feet, some even coated the backs of his bare legs-

I put a hand to my forehead as I noticed the man was in only a towel. I watched him close the panel and wipe away the mud leading away from it with his foot. It didn't hide much, but would be harder to notice. He locked the door and returned to me. I watched while the dirt from what was in the waters radiated outwards. Slowly I found the clouded view of my ankle, to just barely see it's redness, a blue tint slowly coming underneath it already.

I glanced back to Xander. He kept his gaze down at my stomach, and he reached out in attempt to touch me but I immediately scooted away and splashed the tiniest bit of water at him.

"What are you doing?" I questioned stand-offishly. 

"I could ask the same thing. Speak up."

"I," I drew out the word, but Xander kept a stoic face, not showing any suspicion, yet, "was looking for you, I thought you went down there. I didn't even think to check the bathroom.. the door is always closed anyways."

He considered my answer before nodding. He must not have seen me place down the food.

"I was bathing and herd you come in. I'm sorry I scared you. Now, be still." He reached out again. I moved back again.

"Stop!"

He shook his head and held onto the edge of the bath.

"I didn't get the chance earlier, but you have injuries that need to be looked at. Considering now you've been down in the tunnel, I need to see how easily they could be infected. Plus, Iago could have made your previous injury worse, and you've not been taking care of it."

"I'll be fine!" I pushed further.

"Then let it get infected. I'm sue you can handle it. Let me warn you of when it happens though. It will be sore and feverish, puss will no doubt leak from it and will have an odder I can't even stomach. But I'm sure you'll be fine. Just be sure the skin doesn't rot. At that point I can't even attempt to help you." He stood up and began to leave."Good luck." He said with a wave. I swallowed thickly and looked down at my stomach, imagining the smell was enough to make me reconsider.

"W-wait, wait come back." I called. He stopped in the middle of closing the door and turned back to me. His face stoic again. He must have been hiding some triumphant smile. He got back onto his knees and moved through the dirty waters to him. He reached out and gently touched my stomach. I winced. He pulled back and did the same to my neck. I held back any noise but still flinched at his touch. He disappeared from the bathroom to come back garbed in a white shirt with loose long sleeves, and dark pants. His bare feet padded against the tile softly as he made his way to a wardrobe. 

Inside he found a few washcloths and returned to me. He dipped them into the clearer parts of the water and washed off my face. 

"I can do that much myself." I replied. He kept his gaze focused on his work.

"I'm trying to see if he hurt you anywhere else when I wasn't looking." he muttered. He cleaned the dirt from my face and held my chin, he turned it side to side before discarding his rag and grabbing another. "Warm water isn't good for burns." He warned.

"I've not noticed." I said stiffly as he wiped off one side of my neck.

"It's because your wounds haven't touched the water yet." He moved wipe down from my chin to my collar bone, then came to the burns beside his last act. I jumped and pulled back as the rough fabric of the rag touched my skin. I waved him off as he began an apology.

"Ah! I-I'm fine, promise. Sorry." I moved back to him and held on tightly to my dress as he wiped the mud away gently. I tapped a foot and looked up at the ceiling as he cleaned the wound.Once finished, he turned my head once more and examined it. 

"I'll call for Nicholai soon, these will need to be medicated, and I don't know if his salve will do you any good."

"Do you still need help applying it to your wounds?".

"I've been managing fine." He murmured.

He threw the next rag into the water.

"I need to lift up your dress." He stated. Very hesitantly I let him. He brought it up to show my stomach. I took it and put the bulk of it on my shoulders, allowing it to be out of his way and still cover the more important areas.

I glanced down to see mud all around my stomach. The dress must have come up on the way down and dirtied me through and through. I looked to Xander who stared at the mess with a slight expression of remorse. His ears reddened as we made eye-contact. He quickly looked back down and reached for another rag.

I looked away and clenched my fists. He'd put salve on me before, seen much more then now, yet he was embarrassed at this? 

No.. maybe not embarrassment, but scorn, regret... It would make much more sense, though it hurts me much more.

I cried out as the rag touched my ever healing wound from ages ago. He instantly pulled away and worked around it for the time being. I kept my eyes trained on anything but him. It took all my strength not to burst into tears at the pain from the burns as he cleaned them. I dreaded him tackling the "scar." I bit down hard on my lip when he reached a more burned area.

"I was worried about where you went when I woke up. Once I started looking for you, I ran into Father. He told me to keep from looking for you for now.." His voice went dark, "He planned on finding you himself." 

"I'm glad I didn't run into him when I was on my way back." I muttered. That would have been a terrible run-in. Prepared I can stomach Garon -in some ways, but out of the blue and I can hardly breath before him.

"Me as well... He'll be back soon though." He stopped his ministrations. I glanced down curiously and saw him looking up to me, "Promise me that you'll tell him everything when he comes back. The moment he opens the door, just tell him." 

I furrowed my eyebrows. Does he even understand what would happen to him? Garon is at his wits end with him, and with this added on top, he'd do so much worse than beat him.

"No! You're going to be hurt!"

He sighed. "I'll be fine, I can handle it."

"No, I'm not telling him Xander. I-... I can argue my way out of this."

"No one argues with my father. You can't, now, listen to me-"

"No, you listen to me." I stuck my finger in his face, "I can get my way around this if you'll just let me. If it all fails, then I'll tell him, how about that."

"I'll not tolerate you disrespecting him! Arguing risks you getting injured, and I won't allow it!"

Disrespect? Has he always been so adamant on respecting his father? 

"Not if I do it right! Besides, I can't always give into him, besides I have to stop being afraid, and the only way I can do that is by facing him."

He gave a small laugh. "I can see how you'd think that'd help, but it could set you up into a bad position."

"Xander, just try to trust me, please."

He set his jaw, and went back to cleaning my wounds. "No."

I knew after that he had nothing else to say to me on the matter, and I decided not to push it, so I instead focused on not noticing the searing burns on me being touched, though when a hand had just barely met my waist, the reality of it all was even more painful. I tried so desperately to stomp out the warm feeling I had when I'd think of him, but it hurt... it was agonizing.

When he finished with his work and helped me from the bath, he sat my still muddied self onto the bed and left without a word, but returned minutes later with maids and buckets of steaming water. Felicia among the group.

He warned them of my wounds before setting down the buckets and leaving. Felicia approached me.

"What even happened?" she asked. Of all things I could tell her, I knew very well that the tunnels were a secret entrusted to me that needed to be kept. Other maids couldn't even handle the mere notion of the tunnels without spreading it to Garon's ears, making the vision of telling her about the secret entrance be shortly accompanied by the view of the king ripping apart the bed with his axe.

"I went up to the courtyard and tripped." I replied meagerly. She chuckled and helped the maids clean out the bathing pool. They re-filled it and I was helped out of the sticky dress.

After I was washed and dressed, the women left and I was left alone in the room. I was stuck to the bed from the injury in my ankle, but I doubted I'd have gone anywhere else. Not with Garon walking around.

Gods, everything always takes a turn for the worse when it involves him doesn't it? Finally, Xander is mostly recovered, I'm finally starting to become comfortable here, and my novelty as a "Hoshidan" is wearing off. Right when everything was beginning to calm down... all this happens.

I'm injured again, and Garon is prepared to kill someone. Ryoma is coming very, very soon, and if Garon isn't there.. there are going to be some issues. But what will it matter if Garon doesn't trust our messengers or us? Gods! Why is this so difficult! The only way for this to work out is to go back in time. I doubt I can even reason with him if Xander can't. The only way would be to have a sparkly clean record and appeal to him.

The scars we've given each other would strike out that record... but what would appeal to him I must wonder?

Strength, of course. Cruelty- no, justice when he deems it fit. He likes those who will give in, but how surprising would it be if someone were to have the gall to give him a challenge? I'm sure watching all that groveling gets boring.

I wiggled the toes of my injured leg. I could show him my strength by walking to him myself, I could give him the "justice" he wants involving Kaze, and I could even challenge him. I could do it... and how better if I were to find him myself. This would be my best chance I have to make him believe the letter.

I grabbed my necklace, and took the long fall from the bed to the ground. I collapsed instantly and gasped as I grasped my ankle. The pain was excruciating, but I could handle it. I'm sure...

I crawled to the one-chaired-table, and grabbed the seat to help me stand. I looked down. It was swelling even more, and it was badly bruised where the injury was the worst.

I readjusted myself, and half hobbled, half jumped to the door. I pushed it open and stumbled out into the hall. I watched blue hair swing into Azura's room, and the door shut quietly behind them. Excitement bubbled in my chest, the moment I was finished with Garon, I'd treat myself to visiting with Azura, it'd been so long too. I bottled my energy up and used it to help me slowly make my way down the halls. I used that feeling to hide my absolute terror for going through with this.

Maids gave me odd looks as I'd stop to lean against the walls, but I was able to make my way to the throne room without much incident. The stairs down into the pit where the large doors rested were rather difficult, but Gunter, who was waiting outside, helped me, though, I had accepted his hand hesitantly.

"What are you doing her Milady, and where is Xander. He was just sent out to look for you." He asked.

"I didn't see him. I came here on my own accord." I stated. He looked down to my feet.

"I'm impressed with your ability, but be careful not to limp in front of Garon." he warned

"I'm hoping a good stride and that nasty bruise will prove something to him." I looked ahead to the doors. He shook his head.

"It is better to appear weak, but not worthless, instead of strong. You don't want him to find some hope in you." He took my arm and helped me hobble to the doors. He stopped me as I reached to push them open. He looked down to me with his ever serious eyes. I kept my gaze focused on the scar draping over his cheek. "I would like to apologize to how I handled you shortly after you're injuries today. I have to follow Garon's orders." The smallest amount of spite leaked though his teeth.

I considered him a moment, before accepting what he had to say. "I forgive you."

He turned to the door and opened it for me. I let go of his arm and looked to the mountain of stairs before me, so high they stretched that I couldn't see Garon's throne at the top. I sucked in a deep breath, and hastily made my way up the stairs. I bit back my pain, refusing to limp or cry out, though I couldn't help the water that formed in my eyes. I was able to keep it from doing much harm though. I managed to blink it away once I was at the top of the stairs.

Garon sat back in throne lazily. He rested his chin on a hand, with an elbow propped on the arm of the chair. He rolled his fingers in boredom against the arm of the other side. He kept full eye contact as I approached. Iago was no where to be seen.

I approached Garon and his throne slowly, strutting in a way to draw some attention to my ankle. When I was in front of him, I bowed deeply, keeping my eye on him. As I came back up, I saw him look me up and down. He smirked slightly, no doubt proud of the work he'd done on me earlier. I swallowed, and raised up my chin slightly.

"I've herd you've been trying to find me?" he gave no response, "W-well, I've come on my own. Xander is still out there looking."

His smirk faded away. "Pray tell, what did you think I was summoning you here for?" He asked gruffly.

"For what you wanted earlier." I crossed my arms as the cold of the room washed over me.

"So you've come to explain everything to me?"

"In a way." He sat up in his seat. I took in a breath and set a small scowl on my face. "I stand by my word in saying I didn't know, but I will admit that I have been in contact with my brother since I left home. He gifted me a seal to use to write him back and I've used it to send my messages. When I noticed that it was a fake...novelty item, I was quite upset. That was what Iago herd." Garon looked dangerously amused at my confession, it shook me, but I tried to brush it off. "He personally sent me letters stating he'd be coming here on the date specified in your message. I've no proof now," I lied, "But you can take my word."

He burst into laughter, and stood up from his throne. He approached me, I took one step towards him. His laughing stopped, his face turned to stone. In two strides he was in front of me. My challenge wasn't well received.

"I can take your word?" He questioned, "In what world do you live in, in which I can "take your word."" He scoffed, "Tell me, who do you think you are after all of this. What worth do you think you have to approach me with such a manor, and not be punished." I balled my hands into fists to calm the panic welling up in me. Something in my mind screamed to transform and run, or attack with it, but I pushed it down, time to be strong.

"I have enough worth to cause an uproar with my brother, the king of your enemy. Who, is coming on the 20th whether you believe me or not!" A fire stoked inside of me. "He will no doubt want to talk trade, and are you willing to give that up for a simple lack of trust? Nohr cannot grow cotton nor corn, it can hardly handle trees and grass, and you have been unable to have enough crops. You are willing to put your people in danger for that? Forgive me, but your rule is cruel, and unfit for a country as delicate as Nohr. Your people are suffering. Your own children are suffering! Two have already died and you won't see that this visit with Ryoma can fix so many issues. Your people need medicine without having to smuggle it across the borders, your people need food without having to kill for it! Give them the peace they deserve for dealing with your-"

He smacked me against the face with the back of his palm, the ornaments on his gauntlets cutting skin as he did so. I fell to the ground, but quickly held myself up. He put a heavy foot on my injured ankle and began to put pressure on. I bit down on my tongue to keep from screaming. My eyes began to water.

"Do not disrespect me!" He yelled and pushed down hard before letting up slightly. I tasted blood.

"He is coming whether you believe me or not! Can you risk it!?" I sobbed, though no tears came. He slammed down, and dug his boot into me. I screamed in the back of my throat and I rested my head onto the floor. The throbbing was unbearable. I squeezed my eyes shut and hit the ground as the pain slowly increased. I was such an idiot. Garon growled in frustration and walked away,I herd him pace for a moment. When the sound of his armor scraping against itself stopped, I felt him grab the back of my dress and lift me back to look at him.

"If he is not there the moment we cross, I'll leave you to the brigands after having my own share of beating you." He threw me down, and scoffed, "I want you to remember that after admitting to me that you've been a spy, that my kindness to not kill you where you lay will you lay will be remembered." He placed his boot on my head and pressed down lightly, "Lets not forget that in you confession, you made a small contradiction in not knowing about that letter. How would you know when he'd come?" He said lowly. He roughly moved his boot from my head. "You will be punished by me personally for your crimes of treason and lies. The date depends on if that King will be at the borders. Now, get out!" He bellowed. As if on cue, Gunter appeared before me and picked me up. He quickly took me from the room and closed the door.

"What in gods name where you thinking!?" He yelled. "You call out his rule and bring up the deaths of his children!? You should be happy the man didn't shatter your foot then have your damned head, you stupid girl! Not only that, you admitted to spying, and sending word of it to Ryoma!" He shook his head in disgust. He must have been there the whole time.

"I'm not spying!" I whimpered. "I've told him next to nothing about what goes on here!"

"Do you think that matters to anyone here! I should make you walk for your insolence!"

"If I didn't tell him all that and bring up what I did, he would have never agreed to going to the border Besides, what I said wasn't wrong!"

"It was out of line you ignorant child! Right or wrong has no place in court. Now, it's time for you to learn so damned respect here!"

"Why should I respect a maniac!"Â 

He smacked me hard.

"Do not disrespect your king. You will do what he says and you will not talk back do you understand!? Do you know what he does to those who don't get this? It's time to get over yourself and listen for once! You need to understand that you can't rely on others at all times, and expect to fall back on them! One day you will be injured, and no one will be here to take you home."

"I-"

"Be quiet."

I didn't speak the entire way back to my room. He entered in and sat me down on the bed, and left with a glare. I writhed against those blankets until Xander came with doctor beside him. Nicholai. I smiled wearily.

"Gods, the both of you are always beat up in some way." He muttered as he came to me. Xander went to my side, a cold stare on me. He leaned down and whispered thickly in my ear.

"Gunter filled me in, little princess. We're going to have a talk aren't we?" My heart dropped.

"D-depends." I whispered. He ripped away from me swiftly. I cried out as Nicholai probed my ankle. I kicked at him desperately. Xander held down my other leg with strength unmatched. Nicholai grabbed the entirety of it and felt for a moment. I cried out and squirmed.

"Not broken, but it's a high sprain. Nothing I can do really, just keep it up and keep off of it for a few days. She'll be able to walk on it soon, but barely. It'll heal in a few months on its own. If needed, I'd suggest Hoshidan magic. Now, as for those-" he put two fingers at my neck. I whimpered. "I can only give you this." He reached into his bag and sat a salve on the end table. Salve seemed to be his heal all concoction, "May I look at your past injury?" he asked.Â  There was no point in refusing, the man could do whatever he wanted it seemed. I nodded and he lifted up my dress. He touched it, and I flinched.

"The burns have inflamed it, but the stitches are in tact surprisingly. It's healed nicely. Keep it clean, and be weary of it with those burns. Too much stress could cause a rip."

I nodded with a small hum and he put my dress down. He moved up to my face and examined the cuts there.

"That left cheek is going to bruise... the cuts are nothing to worry about." He patted the side of my face uninjured. "Stay out of trouble. I hate treating you two." He grabbed his bag and left with a short bow. I watched him leave with dread. I glanced to Xander quickly.

He stared at me with a blank stare, his jaw set, arms crossed. I reached over and grabbed the tin of salve. I looked back to Xander. Same position. I hastily went back to the tin. I squinted at the foreign text, I pursed my lips in a sort of embarrassment. It looked so different from Hoshidan... How would I ever learn to read it?

Trying to push down the pain from my ankle, I used my remaining strength to attempt to open the item. Of course, I couldn't. I did my best to play it off as if I'd changed my mind, but it was too late. Before I even had the chance, Xander took the flat tin from my grasp and with his thumb scrapped off the wax sealing it shut.

I refrained from groaning in frustration. Of course I forgot the wax.

He twisted off the top and signaled for me to raise up my dress. I refused him.

"You don't always need to manage my wounds." I said sharply, playing off of his own frustration. He sat down the tin and examined me. He'd never really been angry at me before, was it a good idea to fight his fire with my own, just like I'd done Garon? Or admit to my fault?

I scooted back against the headboard and grabbed a second pillow, I carefully sat my ankle on it. I kept my eyes trained on the gross bruise growing bluer by the moment. I could just barely see the outline of a boot. I absent mindedly rubbed my face. It was raw where I'd been slapped by Garon and Gunter. I guess I did deserve it. Knowing that doesn't do me any good though.

I herd a sigh. I snuck another look to Xander, but I kept the contact this time. Suddenly the anger I sensed from him, seemed to be a misjudgment of... worry, and agitation to boot.

"Why must you bring such attention to yourself? Why do you disobey my father so?! My few mistakes as his own son have cost me my dignity, my pride, and you continue to provoke him even more than I can even fathom. Do you understand what you told him today? What you brought up?"

Maybe he would understand, unlike Gunter.

"But I was right in what I said." I claimed.

"No. No you were not. My father and all he does is for the betterment of Nohr. He would not leave his people for dead without reason. He can't control everything, and even if he could, he'd have a reason. You must understand that."

I was taken aback.

"Do you even hear yourself?! If he's so reasonable, then do you think my beatings or yours are a part of his plan."

He sighed. Hesitantly, he replied with, "Yes." I hit the bed with my hands.

"No they are not! Xander!" I cried in an astounded shock.

"He is a king that many people want dead. He can tolerate any signs of traitorous intent. I deserved what happened to me when I did what I did to help Kaze."

"Tell me, would you have let an innocent man, you knew who had no intent of harm on us, die, if you father willed it?"

"If he ordered it I would have to."

"Gods! Then why did you save Kaze?" I yelled.

"Because I knew letting him die would cause terrible repercussions from his lack of foresight in that time."

"Ha!" I said, still on high from my shock. I raised up my eyebrows. "Then you admit to Garon not always having a grand plan! I hate to burst your bubble but he has no plans! He thought up one on spot the second I brought up his flaws to travel to Hoshido."

"Things will work out with what he choses!" He kept his voice low, but emotion still filled them to the brim.

"Will it? Gods, how naïve are you? Here I thought you were the most adult person I knew, but no." I shook my head and furrowed my brows. "How can you be so blind!"

"Because I have to!" he yelled. "You don't understand my position Corrin! Nor do you understand yours! I have to be loyal. I have to follow his orders perfectly! It doesn't matter what it is!" He grabbed my shoulders and looked me dead in the eyes. He looked nearly mad. "I have to kill for him, I have to hurt for him, I have to do what he pleases, and I do it for the god damned hope that I'm making him proud, that he'll finally, after so long revert back to who he was, and for the fact that I have to remain loyal to my country, and I will! But everyday he gets worse, and he makes me do worse things! He's considered killing Camilla when she showed signs of being a traitor! Do you understand that I would have to do that? Do you understand my position here Corrin?! Do you get that I have to do whatever he pleases, even if it meant hurting you!?" His voice was loud, and unstable.

I watched him with frightened, widened eyes. I was stiff. For the first time, his grip was rough. His own wide eyes flicked between mine. His brow twitched, and realization washed over him. He slowly let go of me. Wearily, he walked to the one-chaired-table, and sat down heavily. He rested his forehead against his palm. He closed his eyes, and shifted to cover them with his hand. Soon he covered his whole face with his hands and slowly slid down until he laid his head down.

He seemed dangerous..

His whole body moved as he took in a long breath. "I'm sorry." Came his muffled reply. "I'm so sorry." He was quiet. Lost in his own breathing before he spoke again. "The day has made me spiral out of control. I couldn't get ahold of myself twice already. To make it worse I keep telling you."

I fingered at my dress anxiously. Hesitantly, I responded with a slow twinge, "It's.. okay to vent, especially with how much you seem to hold it in."

He didn't reply. After a moment of silence, a small curiosity sprouted from my growing sympathy for him, "How often do you have to hold in all that emotion?" I asked. I knew there had to be more under what he exploded with, something much more scary, or upsetting.

"Every moment." He whispered hesitantly. My heart twisted in pain. What did I expect? Slowly the sympathy and urge to give him some sort of comfort was too much to ignore, and I called him over. With the pace of a snail, he left his seat and came to me. He looked pale, sickly even. It brought out the circles under his eyes. He looked almost childlike as he rubbed the corner of his eye. How uncharacteristic.

"Yes?" He muttered. I could only think of mother and how she'd try to calm me when I was little...

"Lay down... put your head in my lap." I said with embracement. My cheeks flushed pink. He shook his head.

"Corrin..."

"Just try." I pleaded. He rubbed the side of his face before complying with a sigh. He put his head into my lap, and laid down on the bed with his arms crossed. I re-adjusted myself slightly and worked up my courage. I closed my eyes, and gently stroked his hair. He stiffened. I instantly pulled away.

"You can go. I'm sorry." I said quickly.

"I-.. it just took me off guard." he muttered.

"Okay..." I mumbled. I swallowed down my humiliation, and repeated my actions uninterrupted. My necklace warmed against me as my hesitance ran wild. It was so embarrassing... So I decided to talk to fill the silence and cover up the empty, airy feeling in my chest.

"My mother did this to me when I was little. She did it to m-my brother, Takumi, especially, but he was always stubborn about it. H-he cried a lot... he still does, I think, but, Mother would give him some comfort, and calm him down." I giggled nervously, "When Sakura was really tiny, Mother said she'd started copying her and would force Ryoma to let her do this to him, though it was if she was sad, not the other way around. I-I'm not surprised..." I smiled softly and thought of my pink-haired sister in heart... I missed her so much.. "Hinoka was very similar to Sakura really. Thinking back, they were so similar it's astounding... She eventually turned into her brash and stand-off-ish self when she got older. When Father was gone, she wanted to help Ryoma in the efforts to find him, and protect us little ones. They were both so noble... Takumi always wanted to help but, Ryoma wouldn't teach him the sword as much as he'd like, and he quit after being beat in a duel with him, so he picked up archery and was relentless in his own practice. You don't know how many times I'd wake up to him with bloodied fingers outside my door..." I sighed. "I honestly never though bow strings could snap, but they did, and they'd always get his face. His fingers would always be so torn up from drawing it back though..." I sighed, "I'll never know why he always insisted on coming to me though."

"You were his older sister..." He muttered quietly, "He probably felt shadowed by Ryoma and his sister, and came to you for comfort." Melancholy laced his voice. I knew exactly what he was thinking about. My hand grazed his ear accidently.

"Stop thinking about him." I muttered. He touched his forehead.

"I can't. He deserves to be thought of. They both do. I deserve to feel like this... Leo only wanted to be noticed, Elise only wanted to spend time with me how we used to... she'd do anything if it meant I'd do so." He let out a groan of agony and covered his face, "I thought... it would've been better for me to focus on my work than her as I was afraid my changing demeanor would badly affect her ... then she slowly accepted it and went on to study with Leon. When they got sick it was too late for me to fix everything..." He gripped the sheets tightly. "It was so terrible. I wish it were me instead. I want to trade myself for them or even.... just see them, be with them." He grew quiet. My heart dropped. I took his hand, and placed the pendant in it. I forced warmth into it and resumed stroking his hair.

"Don't... don't say that. What would they think, if they saw you just suddenly appear? It'd be a shock enough to bring them back to the castle I'm sure..."

He remained in silence in the most of his time afterwards. His tired eyes watched my pendant shimmer and shine and he held it gently in his hand. He kept his close eye on it until he seemed to begin dozing off.

I sat there, with my hands in his hair, quietly staring at that portrait on the wall. I gazed at the three blondes, now separated. Odd how everyday that painting grows more and more dreadful. Maybe Xander's silent agony is rubbing off on me.

I smiled softly. We never did talk about my meeting with Garon all that much... I think I knew what he would've said. Would I have followed his advice now though? Knowing how blind he is, how blind he's making himself be, to accept what Garon has failed at? I doubt I can trust his word in that sense anymore. How much can I trust him now? He's Garon's pawn... he himself would kill me if ordered...

Would I even be able to tell he was moments from doing so? How easily he could kill me in my sleep with his weapons only a stride away. How quickly he could overpower me...

My whole body began to ache in tandem with my heart. Soon I held that same feeling of pain I did last time we were caught in each other's arms. Tears welled up in my eyes.

It was empty and cold. And looking at him, feeling him near me, made it worsen. He was so close, but felt so far away, and I didn't know how to fix it, how to feel about it other than accepting that hurt. That... heart ache.


	9. Satisfaction

It would've been safe to assume that the moment I stepped into the carriage, that the sigh I gave could've been of dread or excitement of the nearing journey to the border. 

How could I not be ecstatic to finally be out of the castle after so long? What's more, I'd be able to live in the daylight and feel the sun on my face, for even the shortest amount of time. That hope, that feeling I've been missing, was enough to redeem the horrid week I'd had waiting for this trip.

The day our departure date was decided, Camilla was forced to travel to the far west to meet with nobles regarding her wedded status. She explained to me as I helped her pack that her suitors were growing impatient of her absence and requested her immediately. With a laugh, she had added,

"I simply couldn't bare to see their faces if I rejected their advances, though this little game I'm in is quite enjoyable. Sadly, none of them are of any interest to me."

"Wait, you get to chose who you marry?" I had asked with surprise. She smiled, keeping her gaze on her work.

"My mother had wanted to push a man on me when I was young, but at the time, Father refused, claiming: I should have my freedom. As he grew older and my passed siblings came into the world, he threw suitors upon me of his own accord, but after the horror that was of your and Leon's arrangement, he decided to give me the freedom to chose who I liked."

With her words of Leon, a thought that had been plaguing my mind finally had a chance to surface.

"Did Garon mourn his death?" I had asked her carefully. She halted her packing, and her face grew soft. With a sigh she had turned to me.

"Of course dear, but... Father... never was involved with Leon and Elise like he was me, and even more so Xander. He cared for them dearly, but... he seemed disconnected, even before they grew ill."

With Camilla gone afterwards I attempted to find conversation with Azura, but as always, she was no where to be found, making that ghostly glimpse of her hair all I seemed to have seen of her in weeks. I attempted to turn to Xander, but since his recovery time was finished in Garon's eyes, he was back to the normal schedule I never knew he had.

"So, what is it you have to do?" I had asked whilst he helped me limp to his study.

"I have to read over paperwork, grievances, minor disputes between countries, and send reports to the various chieftains and nobles owning land that need to pay their dues. You'll be there for that part. Soon after I'll be going to the barracks to over see the training the soldiers have been going through in my absence, then I'll study further on strategy. I'm usually free for the rest of the day, but I have to catch up on my work and meet with some merchants. After that, and once you're healed, I'll be using that time to resume our training in the sword."

Disregarding his hopes to resume my training I asked, "Can I join you on all your work today? I've no one to talk to." Xander had laughed and glanced behind us to the group of retainers following far behind.

"You'll have them, you know. I'm also giving you the extra protection of Peri whilst we're separated. I've ordered Silas to join you as well."

"All that for some extra company?"

He had answered me with so much hesitation I feared he wasn't feeling well. "...Well, after you spoke out to my father, he allowed word of it to travel past our gates and... it has sparked much controversy in the capital, as such I fear for your wellbeing. The guards are making extra rounds and will be keeping a very close eye on you of course, but I won't risk your safety, no matter what."

The rest of those days I'd be with him in the mornings, stuck to a chair thanks to my injury and after explaining my lack of reading ability in Nohrian once he had handed me a book -attempting to starve off my boredom- he decided it was his responsibility to teach me whenever necessary. It seemed his eventual free time would be dedicated to the sword and the page even more so thanks to my lackings.

After the mornings I was stuck to either wearily traveling the halls or resting in the nearly useless library, always surrounded by the group of four tasked with my security. Their suspicion didn't help my fear of being assassinated either.

I learned later in that week that a man acting as a merchant was allowed into the castle and wasn't realized to be after my life until he passed me. Niles and Peri noticed his suspicion and decided to pursue him and bring him to Xander. Niles had told me that Xander didn't want me to find out for fear that I'd worry.

Silas was the only friend I could turn to when I learned of it. It was odd how comforting his gaze was, how it made the panic of being targeted calm to a slow rumble inside me.

Without it though; I was stuck in such panic till the day finally came where I could escape, but the fear of the people was a strong one in my stomach.

It felt as if all of Nohr was against me, but even so, I'd be gone soon.

I scooted to the other side of my seat once I saw Xander grow near, giving him space to enter. He climbed in, his gaze lingering on me as he took a place across from me. He leaned in to close the door, but a hand intercepted it. With a sigh he moved back to watch the next man enter.

Silas climbed inside with us and bowed. He grinned to me brightly, and I couldn't help but return it. Though, it looked so unfitting with the bandages covering the burned portion of his face.

"Here, Silas, I'll sit-" Xander was hastily cut off.

"No worries friend, I'm not scared of her." Silas said playfully as he sat down beside me. Xander shifted in his seat and placed his hands into his lap.

"I thought you'd have been in the prisoners carriage... or with Garon perhaps?"

Silas reached back to tighten the ties of his bandages, nodding as he responded. "I was set to walk behind the carriages with the other men and soldiers, but they suggested I join you two instead. I had business to speak of with you anyways, so now's as good as any right?"

Xander sighed. "Silas, I understand your eagerness to have our support in the provinces you own, but, I can do nothing as a prince."

I was pulled back in my seat as the vehicle jostled to begin its ride. I let out a puff of air as the movement hit me. My stomach clenched in response to the little jostles the carriage would make as it rolled along the cobble path out from the castle.

"You can do more than anyone Xander, you're an up-and-coming king, when your rule begins you'll be able to do things Garon couldn't even do."

Xander laughed wearily, "No, Silas that isn't how the pass of power works," I held my stomach tight, as I leaned closer to the window to view the world. "Once father becomes sick of his reign and passes it to me, I'll have many, many more liberties yes but, it could take decades before I have enough power to do more than he can." I watched as the bright cobble path widened to the first set of gates in the castle's campus. Once through, the area after was no longer a path shouldered by blackened trees, but a squared off place paved entirely with guards lining the walls beside us. It seemed much to big for just a way in as it looked more like a town square. "-Ah, Corrin," I looked up to Xander and he pointed out of the window, "This is where the merchants selling and supplying our castle wait to be checked before entering the grounds. So many people come here to sell Father their things that the people come to buy as the merchants wait. There's more bustle and excitement in this small place than anywhere else in Windmire."

"I beg to differ sire." Silas claimed. Xander turned to look to him, interest brightening his face. "Bellow the city, in the tunnels and sewers, you'd think we were in another country. It looks like a carnival with lights and colored fabrics strung around. Women sell flowers and potions whilst the men jaunty around as if it were a show. It's the brightest thing in all of Nohr, the happiest."

My eyes widened with wonder. I took his arm and jumped in excitement,

"Silas, you must tell me where this place is? How do I get there?" I clasped my hands together and turned to Xander, I leaned in close him, he moving backwards to accommodate. "Xander, will the tunnel you made connect to it?! You said when you exit there's another one soon after yours ends! Will it branch off into that place? Will it? Will it?" I moved in even closer, unaware of his struggle to escape our closeness.

"I-I-.." he let out a breath and gently pushed me back. He cleared his throat, "Yes, they do." He admitted. My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to let out a cry of joy, "But you are not allowed to venture there." He quickly added. I instantly slumped.

"What? But... why not?"

"Sire, I could take her if your worried about your duties and her safety." Silas offered. Xander shook his head.

"The tunnels are gigantic and stretch far outside of Windmire as a defense for the people if war came to us, that area those people inhabit is the safest part, but around it is filled with traps. If one were to be lost and triggered one... well, no death would be more certain."

"But couldn't you take me yourself? You must know your way around?"

"Corrin, I know very few routes under it. Father doesn't even know them all. It was something my Great Grandfather designed."

"But you'd know the way to that town under us, right?" I questioned hopefully.

He scratched the back of his neck. "I... know the general direction" He said uncertainly, "But the answer is still no."

"But Xander, I'm always so cooped up in the castle, and it sounds like so much fun, please you must take me!" I pleaded whilst twisting in my seat to look out the window and down at the ground.

"No. It's too dangerous, end of discussion. And be sure to keep the village's secret from father and his associates."

"It's a village!" I exclaimed, even more interested than before. "Wait, explain this to me, and how would Garon not know about a village under his capital?"

"Garon knows in a way, but refuses to believe it. Every soldier he has sent to it has come back with out evidence of it, but only due to their want to keep it undercover as well. It's...Â  sort of a safe haven for the capitals people. It keeps them away from the thieves and brigands, and they can live in peace; raise children, and live good lives. My mother, who knew of it from the time she was a child, was infatuated with it. She'd tell me the wondrous stories of the place when I was young, but father would only laugh and shake his head before saying his goodnights to me. She'd without hesitance tell me that it was real, and claim she'd take me."

"Did she?" I asked solemnly. He smiled softly and nodded. My heart leapt with joy.

"Yes, twice in fact." He chuckled, "I was so excited but, was absolutely terrified of the walk to it. I couldn't count how many times I let go of her hand and ran through the tunnels out of fear of the dark or the rats. I'm lucky she knew the area well or I'd have been lost forever."

"What was it like?" I leaned back into him as my excitement increased. He didn't seem to mind this time.

"I remember it being very beautiful and robust. Children ran about within crowded open space, and the merchants would cry out about their supplies. There were so many colors, and at the time, it was the closest thing to a full day of sun I'd experienced. The whole place was magical." He reminisced the whole experience with a look of bliss on his face.

"It sounds amazing... Oh, you must take me please!" I cried. He refused me again.

"It's too risky, I'm sorry."

I sighed and leaned back in my seat, crossing my arms I looked back out the window to watch the city roll past us. Though most cared little of the carriage, some watched on with interest, others, found my set of eyes and glared. I turned my gaze to my hands as all the wonder and joy was swept out of me and my nervous stomach returned.

I felt a hand slip over mine. I instinctively looked up to Xander, but his hands were balled up tightly in his lap. He looked to me, than to Silas with emotion hidden beneath him. A thick thorn of tension blossomed as I turned my eyes to Silas. Either unaware or uncaring, he spoke with a passion I once herd Kaze give, "The people will come to accept, even love your convictions, princess."

"Silas." I muttered. His cheeks were dusted pink, and he hastily brought his hand away. The compliment warmed my heart, but chilled the air. Silas seemed to be the first to agree to my words to Garon when I had brought them up, it gave me some relief knowing one person was on my side.

"For now," Xander began, "all of us, need to be wary of what we speak of, and to who." He warned stiffly. Silas quickly bowed his head.

"Of course." He said. He slyly moved a bit farther away from me. Xander's harsh gaze no doubt making him weary. The moment I felt his eyes on me, I looked up to challenge him. I crossed my legs and arms and raised my eyes with petty intent. He set his jaw, and I pursed my lips in response.

As if I even understood the fight of power going on between those two, and then it seemed like he was blaming me for whatever Silas was attempting to do. I straightened my back and looked unfaltering at the man. Three beats of my heart passed, and he leaned back into his seat with crossed arms. I did the same, with a smirk of triumph on my lips.

The rest of the ride that day was shrouded in an uncomfortable veil of silence. The tension always thick and sharp around us. I was able to keep busy with the excitement of seeing some of my family soon, but... always in the back of my mind was the fear that he would be late, and I'd be susceptible to Garon's full wrath without a doubt. I tried to force the belief that he'd be there, waiting for us, but what if he wasn't? What if he were late? What if he never shows up and I'm left with Garon? I have no doubts that he will waste no time in waiting for my brother and instead go for me... and that scares me so deeply. I don't want Xander's scars. I don't want to turn into some hardened victim, I want to be safe and be myself.

Can that ever truly happen in Nohr? Or anywhere? I always pictured Hoshido as such a perfect place but is it truly? Outside of the capital are there places filled with hate and agony like all of Nohr? No, not all of Nohr... there is at least one place where people are happy, and it's just under our feet.

I jostled forward as the carriage came to a stop. I expected us to move through the darker night of Nohr. I glanced up to surprisingly see the brink of twilight on the horizon. It'd slowly been growing brighter, until it started fading into the darkness of the night, and with it came a sunset.

A beautiful orange and pink stretched out around the sky, affecting the white clouds elegantly. I opened the door and stepped out, against Xander's slight protests, to better see the scene before me. The trees held more leaves and color, the grass's dead shade, seemed healthier, and the sky, gods the sky, it was beautiful. After so many weeks of Nohr's endless night, to see the sky a different color was so breathtaking I hardly paid attention to what was going on around me.

I snapped out of my trance when I felt a hand upon my shoulder. I tore my eyes away from the scene and faced Silas.

"The soldiers up ahead are saying we're camping out for the night since we made so much ground today. Xander went up to speak with Garon." 

I hummed in response and went back to the view. I reached back and found the step up into the carriage and sat down on it. I herd Silas give a sound of amazement.

"It's beautiful isn't it." He said. I smiled.

"It's odd how quickly you can forget what a sunset looks like. I'd seen them everyday for 17 years, but... only a few weeks away from it and those views from the palace are blurred." I replied with exasperation.

"Ah.. the sunsets from Shisaragi are beautiful. You've witnessed them from it's highest floor haven't you?"

I grew warm and fuzzy inside.

"My brother would hoist me up onto his shoulders and take me out to the roof to watch."

"I always wanted to see what was up there and watch the skies whenever Father would take me on his trips, but of course, we weren't allowed. It's a dream to see it, really."

"The higher floors were reserved for people of higher status and then the roof was for soldier defense apparently... but I'm sure with your position in both Nohr in Hoshido, you'll rise to enough power to see it one day." I smiled hopefully to him. He chuckled quietly.

"Maybe, but.. I don't yearn to rise to power. I simply want the land I inherited, and the people I am meant to govern to thrive. It's my duty as an Earl to do what those above me and the King refuse to do. It's time for change not only there, but with all of the monarchy here. It's sickening... I'll do what I must for those who look up to me, and I've suggested that others do the same."

"You sound like your planning an uprising." I jested playfully. Silas laughed uncomfortably.

"Don't say that so loud Miss, you know Garon wouldn't hesitate to strip me of my power and my life."

"You're the one who began your banter against the king."

"Funny how you worry more of my well being regarding what I say behind his back than you do when you say it to his face. Though.. you know where I stand on your words." He laughed, "I'm looking forward to your rule as Queen..." His face turned grim, "But anyone would do better than him."

"Peace Silas." I warned, "Follow your own advice before the guards listen in on you."

"Then lets find a better spot to talk eh?" He offered. I mulled it over for a moment before agreeing. Together we went into the wood and the traitorous conversation continued on.

"To be fair," Silas began as he helped me over an overturned tree, "There are only a handful of men who'd turn me in. I've been approached before, and though they warn me of my mouth, they agree."

"Yet, when I speak out to Garon I'm hated." I muttered, kicking a leaf. Silas shook his head.

"I thought better than to tell you in front of Xander, but many people are actually revering your words. Some celebrate it, celebrate you." He sighed, "There will always be at least two sides to politics, remember that, but you have the favor of the majority. Those who despise you for what you did are either too fearful to agree, or they are those who wholeheartedly support Garon due to their own power, even so, it's all rooted from fear. It's so terrible that they will kill if he's spoken against, but Corrin, if you're killed, the repercussions, will be insane."

"What will happen?" I questioned hesitantly.

"The people will start their own uprising for: the first person in decades to speak out against his rule, would have been murdered."

"Killed and murdered are two different things Silas, and why would that matter?"

"Corrin, those who speak against Garon don't last long enough to have their words released, yours were, because he so foolishly thought they'd all turn against you, but no, they cheer for your insolence, your courage. The people have been living on quiet hope that Xander will be better than his father, but that hope is dwindling, now they are able to turn to you instead."

"They don't think Xander is fit?"

"They think he will be his Father. You on the other hand, though a Hoshidan, are a fresh slate, with fresh ideals. You've shown that you care for their wellbeing, and they are already growing loyal, and impatient for you!" He exclaimed.

"Calm down! They aren't growing loyal Silas, just riled up no doubt. It must be exciting for them, but they are just still on the high of my words."

"Even so, you made an impact."

"Why does this all mater so much to you?" I asked to change the subject of the people. I knew that they are fickle, and soon that high will fade, and I will return to being an outsider. It was a harsh truth, but one I must never forget.

"Because you are the embodiment of what I've wanted to see from Xander all these years. You can help me, and all of Nohr. I know it." He claimed with conviction. He took my hand. "I look up to Xander, but I've grown to adore you and what you believe. I will forever be at your side and support what you do Milady."

"What about Xander?" He would be King after all. I can't do all what he thinks I can...

"Well, you will be at his side of course... You have influence over him." He muttered with disdain.

"It sounds like your not happy with it." I replied carefully. He stopped walking. I did the same and turned to him. He started off hesitantly.

"Are you happy with it, with him? I've seen how you look to him recently, and all I see is emptiness... despair. You aren't satisfied are you?"

"What?"

"Are you satisfied?" He questioned.

"I-..." Was I? Would I be satisfied without his love? Without a family? But, would I be satisfied fully without him, if I left that false hope that things would change? I looked down to the ground as my stomach began to churn. Anxiety pushed over me as I thought of all the options in this. I could get over Xander, couldn't I? It never truly blossomed into love, right? Could I live without him and be satisfied with another, or would I hurt more now? I put a hand to my pendant.

I... want him to love me, and he can't.... and that leaves me unsatisfied. It leaved me empty knowing the man I'd have to spend my entire life with, will never fall for me. My lip began to quiver and I closed my eyes. "No... I'm really not satisfied."

Silas lifted up my chin gently. Some sort of sympathy ran through his eyes as he leaned in closer to me.

"Then, let me fill in for what he can't. Let me try." He murmured with a tone as if he were calming a frightened deer.

"W-what do you mean?" I whispered as my heart fluttered nervously.

"As sheltered as you were, I'm not surprised you don't know, but... I could serve as a lover to you, as a mistress could do Xander.. it wouldn't have to be a solely physical relationship either, of course. I just want to make you happy..." His eyes were half lidded, and his gaze trailed down to my lips, "If you refuse, I'd understand, but my offer will always be there for you... if you were to accept, I'd be yours in whatever ways you'd yearn, and Xander wouldn't have to know..." His hand found a spot at my waist.Â  My breathing grew quicker at his touch. My mind went into a haze as everything in me warmed.

I leaned into his touch ever so slightly. It made me forget the agony of Xander... and I wanted to forget so terribly. My eyes slinked down to his lips before returning to his ashen blue eyes. They always looked so caring and sincere... so similar to Kaze and Xander both. The pain hit me hard at the thought of them both. It was agonizing. Â 

His hand slipped down from holding my chin, to rest on the nape of my neck, tracing small circles that made me shiver. I pressed myself closer to him, and the pain slowly began to fade. I pushed it to the back of my heart as I looked up to him. He leaned down and whispered seductively into my ear, "May I demonstrate my abilities?"

My breath hitched. The hand on my pendant moved to grip the top of his breastplate. I nodded without thought.

Slowly, his lips brushed against my neck, his breath hot and heavy against me. He pushed me back until we found the support of a tree. His hand rubbed my waist lustfully as he kissed the crook of my neck. He trailed sensual kisses up until he found an area just under my jaw. He nipped at the skin before licking ever so slightly. He sucked on the area between kisses and I let out a breath as my hands slowly moved up him to hold the back of his neck.

He put a hand beside my head and moved to biting my earlobe. My face grew hotter, and hotter with each passing action, my lips yearning to feel his. I turned my head against his, and he found his way to me. His half lidded eyes gazed into mine hungrily before he pushed his mouth against mine.

As if on instinct I moved my lips in tandem with his. My hands now entangled in his hair as I let out a moan. He groaned in response and his actions grew more needy. I felt his tongue brush against my bottom lip.

I knew what he wanted no matter how "innocent" I was.

I opened for him and he hungrily accepted. Without hesitation he explored my mouth, his tongue brushing against mine as the kiss deepened further. I moaned into him quietly but soon he pulled away, both of us panting. I felt satisfied.

"Do you accept my offer?"

I needed his offer... I needed anything that would help me get over Xander. Gods, but I'd be having an affair... but what does it matter if there's no love in the marriage.. He'll find himself a mistress, and find comfort in what she can do, because he can't with me. I can't be in constant heart ache, and this... this would free me.

"No, she won't." Came a gruff voice behind me as I opened my mouth. I gasped. Silas looked up, and leaned to see the man behind us. "No, Silas, I think she won't accept your offer." Came Xander's voice shaking with anger. I herd him walk closer to us.

I slid down the tree and looked forward with wide eyes. I pressed myself hard against the bark, uncaring for the picks in my back as I hid way from his sight... but he knew.

"Xander, I-" Silas was cut off as he stepped away from me and faced Xander head on, out of my sight.

"You. You get out of my damn sight." he warned dangerously.

"She has a right to these things, Xander, you can't deny her something you could just as easily have as well!"

"I order you to leave immediately." He yelled. Without another word I herd him trudge through the dead leaves. I brought my knees up and hugged them close to my chest. I squeezed my eyes together and dropped my head down, my circlet toppled off and fell to the ground.

I herd him grow closer.

"What would you have told him?" He was monotone. Dead. I refused to speak. "Answer me." He ordered.

"No!" I whimpered.

"Don't lie to me. Tell me the truth!" He cried angrily. I clenched my fists and stood up. I rushed around the tree and faced him as rage washed over me. Why did he care?!

"What does it matter!? Why would it matter to you!?" I screamed.

"Because you're **my** wife!" His voice boomed around me. He glared at me with betrayal, with hate, with a seething rage I'd never seen on him before. "So tell me, what would be your answer!?" His jaw trembled. His eyes turned to stone.

Everything hurt, everything told me to lie, but I couldn't. He saw, he knew what we were doing. Who knows how much he heard me say. There would be no way to lie to him.. none, and how far gone would I have to be to do so? But the anger still rose in me, it boiled, it covered up my grief and my shame, it was all I could hold onto before I spiraled into a sobbing mess in front of him.

"I would've said yes! I admit it, I would have! But tell me, why do you care? Don't give me that, I'm your wife, what does it matter!? What part of our relationship even dignifies that title as meaningful?! So what if I have an affair-" I wanted to vomit, to hide, to run from him, myself, "-when we have nothing that binds us together? What are we Xander? Are we friends, lovers? I doubt we can be anything! You can't love me! And It's all I want! That's it! If I have to live tortured by Garon I will, if it means you'll just love me..." My shoulders shook as I withheld the urge to cry, "but you can't. So I'll get over you, I'll move on because you don't love me! And being with another is the only way I can!" I cried.

He stared down at me blankly. I could see him shut down behind his defenses. He stayed silent, unblinking as he watched me. My heart was caught in a vice-grip as I waited for his response. I played my words over and over in my mind, and a quiet want pushed through. In that moment I selfishly wanted him to pull me into his arms and tell me he loved him, to kiss me harder than Silas ever could. And with that want, everything in me began to ache, and dread filled my whole body. My throat tightened and I watched him with wide, scarred eyes, because... how could he love me after this?

"I hope he satisfies you. I hope he makes you scream, I hope he makes you cry out, I hope he loves you and gives you what. You're not my wife, just like you said. So go make love to him if I'm so worthless to you." He held no emotion.

"Xander-" I whimpered as the tears burned my eyes.

"Please leave."

And I did, I left without a word, walking slowly through the woods, my heart aching in a way I'd never felt before. I felt crippled, I didn't want to move, and it repeated, over and over, it built and stacked on top of itself until I felt as if I'd burst.. and, with an almost audible noise, my heart shattered. All at once it broke and fell deep into my stomach.

My shoulders fell, and I felt numb except for the hate for myself bubbling up to replace where my heart once lived. I've ruined myself, and what for?

I walked silently into the camp newly built by the soldiers. Silas, no where to be found. My ears rang out the sound of men laughing. My eyes blacked out the fading sunset. The warmth of my pendant was nothing to me, and I hardly cared when my transformation began. The laughing stopped. The air went cold. I walked passed the silent soldiers and went into the only other roomy tent meant for royalty besides Garons. I allowed that voice far beneath me to rise up, and I listened as it called out for me to give in.

I fell onto one of the two bedrolls, landing painfully on my tail, though I didn't care. I hardly even registered it. I felt my whole body begin to tingle and I looked to my arms. The skin slowly turned to scales and their structure changed. In mere moments, I was fully transformed. My new height causing my horns to touch the roof of the tent even as I sat.

I had full control though I gave into the dragon. I could see fine, and my hearing was better than ever. Everything tingled and buzzed inside of me. I felt powerful beneath my iron skin, but that was all. Everything else was numb.

I took in a deep breath and shifted to lay down like a some sort of dog. I hardly fitted inside the once roomy tent when I laid my head down. I wrapped my now gigantic wings around me to offer some warmth, and I blacked out soon after with the hope I didn't go on rampage when my consciousness gave up.

In my dreams I was nestled deep inside an ocean, being rocked and comforted whilst my rest lasted. Even in that sleep, I couldn't escape the words that echoed in reality,

_"I hope he satisfies you."_

I had awoken that morning with my circlet on my chest and a weary soldier waking me.

For the next two days Xander and I only, shared the carriage. We did not speak, nor look at each other. I saw Silas only when we camped on the final night of our journey, and I had nothing to say. Xander kept his distance from me, the closest he'd ever be was when we slept in the same tent. Sleep was my only release from the weight on my chest as my self loathing grew. Each morning it would be worse than the night before. I didn't care that when I awoke I saw a bright blue sky and the wall off in the distance. I couldn't even let myself enjoy the skies I'd lost for so long...

We loaded back inside the vehicles and stopped again only to pass through the wall for a check by the Hoshidan side of the border guards. Garon and his retainers were able to ride through in his carriage without trouble, though everyone else was forced to walk through. I hung far behind Xander as we passed through, and only watched as a familiar blonde guard approached him. She pulled him aside, and I faintly herd her say she wished to speak to him for a quick moment. She gave him a lewd bow in which she showed off her assets without pride. She slithered up to him and moved to whisper as close to in his ear as she could. Her seductive gaze slowly finding my eye in the crowd. With a quick raise of her eyebrows she pulled at the side of her panty like bottoms, fully intending for me and him to see it. She stuck out her tongue for a moment and moved even closer to him, glaring at me. As I passed them, I saw Xander glance to me in response to something she whispered.

I turned my head away and walked through to Hoshido, the carriages close behind me. Our entire group began the walk up the hill to the plains where we'd be able to see Ryoma, but as we grew nearer, the pit in my stomach grew nearer.

Someone slipped from Garon's carriage and slowly walked for me to catch up. Once I saw his slick hair glisten in the light, I knew it was Iago. His walked elegant, with a proper gait beside me, he smirked.

"Where is the King, Princess?" He asked.

"He's going to be there." I muttered, "Go back to Garon." I snapped. He growled in response..

"Be careful girl. I may be the one-" he mulled it over for a second, "overseeing, your punishment for sending and concealing information to Ryoma, as well as for insulting Garon."

"Why sugarcoat your torture?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the top of the hill that Garon's vehicle was growing close to overcoming.

"I should have some class in public, hmm?"

I walked past him and moved up farther in the group, nearly behind the carriage. I nervously came to the top of the hill to look to the small plain. Another hill cradled it not too far off with a road rarely traveled on curving to lead to another entrance to Hoshido.

The driver stopped, and the doors opened. Gunter pilled out, with Garon leaving through the side opposite to me. The older man looked out to the plain with horror on his face.

It was empty save for cherry blossoms struggling to keep their petals. It hardly even looked prepared for royals to meet here. Gunter quickly looked to me and grabbed my shoulders, pushing me back.

"Run little one, it's the only way you'll live today." He said hastily. Garon let out a scoff and I saw him barrel around the carriage. I let out a cry and ran as fast as my injury could carry me, holding onto my pendant so hard my knuckles grew white.

In mere moments of my futile escape my hair was grabbed roughly, and I was yanked back. I grasped at my scalp as I cried and struggled. He drug me to the top of the hill and lifted me off the ground with ease, presenting me to the people bellow us.

"It seems like our new princess has in fact, lied to me! Along with my own son, and a "messenger!""

I looked out in the crowd like a panicked animal as I searched for anyone.

"Help me! Please, he's coming I swear!" I screamed. Xander was nowhere. Silas was being restrained with his mouth covered by another man, who desperately tried to keep him from drawing his weapon. I found Kaze chained and filth covered struggling against his binds in the crowd, calling out for me helplessly.

"Now, I would like to show all of you what happens when a whelp lies to their king." His axe came into my sights and he threw me down onto my back. I tried to scramble away but he slammed his foot down on my chest. He raised his axe above me. I screamed as loud as I possibly could, my plea for help echoing across the plain. I leaned my head back to look at the crowd desperately.

Xander rushed out from inside the wall and reached to draw his sword. Garon's axe came down just as Gunter yelled out.

"They're here!"

The axe landed in the ground, inches away from my neck.

"What?" Garon said in shock. He left his axe in the ground and rushed to Gunter,

"Three men ran over the hill just a moment ago. Sire, do you think they saw you?"

"Like it matters." He scoffed, "Men, come, we meet the new King." He ordered. He returned and pulled his weapon from the ground without acknowledging me. I laid staring up at the skies, shivering. Without warning, my chest tightened and I couldn't breathe. My hands began to shake without restraint or control, as terror hit me so hard that I grew faint. I couldn't move, I couldn't breath and I was scarred. The world spun and all to quickly everything went black.

In mere seconds I was back to consciousness, Kaze struggling as he tried to get to me whilst he past. Silas rushed to me and helped me sit up. My attack only grew worse when he attempted to help me, but I couldn't tell him to leave me. I could only shake my head and struggle against him. I felt another hand support my back, whilst another shoved Silas away. I caught a glimpse of Xander's face as he shifted me to make me sit up on my own. I looked down, tears dripping off my face as I gasped for air. I slammed my fists against the ground while letting out a strangled grunt as I became lightheaded again.

Xander grasped my shoulders gently, and he made me look at him. Stone eyes looked at me without compassion nor hate. Only nothingness.

"Breath with me, slowly, you're fine." He was empty and cold. It only made everything worse. I felt myself go limp and my eyes rolled back. I blacked out again.

"Get a doctor! She's lost consciousness!" Was the phrase that brought me back from the darkness. My whole body shook violently. I was so scarred, and Xander wouldn't let go of me. He wouldn't stop holding me with that lack of emotion. Without caring for me anymore.

The terror worsened as I saw the repercussions of my mistakes. I struggled against him and screamed as if he were some monster. He looked back to me and tried to shush me desperately. He didn't care about me anymore did he? After all I had said, the emotion built up in his eyes for me was gone so sudden. It was over. All of it was finished because I couldn't hold my tongue.

The pressure in my head lulled me back into darkness where voices off in the distance yelled and screamed in a panic. My body tingled and I herd the panic stop. I herd a calmness, and I came back once more.

Cradled gently in warm arms, the man hushed me in a soothing tone and stroked my hair.

"Everything is going to be all right, Sister... I'm here. I'm here now."

My breathing began to slow at his actions, and I was able to focus on his face. It was Ryoma dawned in silver armor, the crown of Hoshido upon his head.

My fear washed away and I began to smile. Slowly I regained control over myself. I pushed through my exhaustion and leaned up to hug him tightly.

"I've missed you so much." I whispered wearily. He returned the embrace with just as much force. I pulled away and moved to sit across from him. I glanced around to see we were in a tent, well fit for a king, size wise. A large sum of people could fit inside it's brown canvas with ease.

Ryoma sat before me with a heartwarming smile. He wore Father's old crown proudly and dawned his blue and white armor.

"You look so different... so grown up."

I laughed weakly. "I wish I were... but it's only a façade I'm failing terribly at." I muttered. The corners of my mouth turned down into a frown.

"Tell me what's troubling you." He said instantly.

Finally I was with my brother after so long, the comfort of being in his presence was almost therapeutic. Without hesitance I began to speak to him.

"I've... grown very fond of Xander in my time away from home-"

Ryoma's expression fell, and I halted my words.

"You don't love this man, do you?" He asked hesitantly. I nodded. He sighed. "What have they done to you?" he murmured. I furrowed my brows.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked. I held my upper arm as I watched him.

"What has he been doing to you? Is he the reason you were writhing and crying out? What have those damned Nohrians been doing to you?" He growled. He looked out to the entrance of the tent.

"Brother, Xander has given me more safety in Nohr than you can imagine. He doesn't strive to hurt me." I defended.

"Then why wasn't he the one to rush you to me, but instead Silas, with him slinking away? You're being delusional."

"That doesn't make me delusional, Ryoma! What are you trying to imply here?"

"Corrin, they've forced their thoughts on you, trying to make you fit to rule their wastelands, your sickness a moment ago was you fighting against it." He explained slowly.

"Get a hold of yourself Ryoma!" I said hastily. What in gods name was going on here!?

"It's going to be fine, I'm going to bring you back home with Kaze, everything will be fine." He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Ryoma- no, you- you can't do that! I'm married to their heir, you can't just take me away!"

"I can and I will, you aren't safe there!" To be fair, he wasn't wrong, but it didn't mean I needed his saving. I couldn't leave Felicia, I could let Jakob starve, and where would Odin and Niles go? My heart darkened as Xander's reaction to it played out into my mind. He would watch unmoving as I left him. The blonde guard would approach him and he'd turn to her and never look my way, no matter how many times I glanced back. Envy smashed me to bits. I quickly caught myself and held back a laugh as I realized how terrible I was.

"You aren't taking me back home Ryoma. I'm staying in Nohr, it's my duty now to rise up as his Queen. Fathers last wishes were for me to go, and I will honor them." I said with determination. I never thought of it that way in truth.. I simply accepted it. I was too far in to leave now, wasn't I?

He sighed. "Please understand what they've done to you." he pleaded.

How could he think I was brainwashed? How hard is it to believe that I've accepted my fate?

"They've done nothing. Xander has done nothing. I'm staying in Nohr, now you have business to attend to. Kaze needs to return home more than I do, so turn your attention to him, whose family so loyally served you for their entire lives!" With a struggle I got to my feet and began to leave.

"Corrin, we aren't done speaking of this." He said sternly.

"No, we are." I responded.

"As King of Hoshido, I order you to return to me after my meeting with Garon."

I stopped in my tracks. Ryoma has never been this forceful in his life... not even when father was taken captive, so why now? Why can't he believe me?

I left his tent with mixed emotions. A Hoshidan soldier escorted me back to the Nohrian camp newly set up. The two were separated by a grand amount of space, with a table and chairs set up in the very center of their divide. The meeting would be ensuing soon no doubt. I pray it goes well, and Ryoma doesn't attempt to barter me back.

Gods, what did I really have to stay for there in Nohr? Xander is done with me... I can't bare to see Silas.. no doubt Laslow will be angered by my actions if he learns of them. The only person I could come back to with open arms would be Felicia... but would it be worth it? Could I just push this whole part of my life aside and return back to my home as if nothing ever happened? Who would miss me? Who would care? Not the only one I needed to, that was for certain.

The slight glee that was able to sustain through Ryoma's odd behavior flickered and went out. The Hoshidan soldier bowed, and left me on my side of two camps. I quietly made my way to the tent Xander and I were made to share to find him inside in the midst of changing. With his back turned to me, unnoticing my entrance, he stood shirtless, beginning to pull down his pants. I quickly let out a sharp cry of surprise for walking in on the scene. He instantly went stiff and turned around, pulling up his trousers even higher than they were before hand.

"I- I'm so sorry!" I stumbled over my words and quickly ducked out from the tent, covering my face in embarrassment. As I hurried away, ignoring the call of my name far behind me, I found myself running straight into Silas. I knocked my head against his armor and tumbled to the ground.

"Corrin! Here let me help you-"

"No, no I'm fine." I said quickly as I got to my feet, refusing his hand. I looked around the busy encampment for any sign of escape, but felt trapped. Silas called my name, and I hesitantly looked up to him. Shame filled my chest as I looked into the eyes I had found comfort in.

"Corrin, we need to talk."

"I don't like our talks." I said with the tone of a child.

"Please, I-.. I've caused you and Xander both so much pain and I never meant to. I was caught up in my own feelings and I pushed myself on you, and I... I overheard you two's talk that day. I've caused this upon you both."

"You only sped up the inevitable..." Did I even think that? Or was it the reality of all this finally pushing through my mind after so long. "He lost interest in me so quickly, I guess all of his comfort was some façade..." Was it? Was all of it a play to make me fall then break? But after what I said... how confusing it must have been to hear, he might have just decided he couldn't handle me. I can't even handle myself... not after that. "I guess I never mattered. Or at least, I don't now." But I could hear him cry and sob against my chest as he proclaimed he cared about me... that he wanted to adore me. Was he growing feelings for me then?

"The meeting is begging." Xander said behind me. "Garon requests you both in it. "The words, in his cold voice were terrible. I closed my eyes and cringed the moment I herd them, knowing very well he had herd me once more, but was what I said all that bad?

Of course they were.

He left us without another word. I looked up to Silas, who still held a shocked look on his face.

"For such a big man, it's incredibly hard to tell when he's coming." He attempted to jest.

I turned from him and began the walk to the middle of the camps. Silas following close behind, still undone with his banter.

"With that, still, Miss, I want you to know I never intended to hurt you. I made a terrible mistake."

"It was my fault. I could have stopped you, but I didn't. Now, let's not speak of this anymore... please." I pleaded weakly. He bowed.

"Yes Milady."

The two of us came upon the meeting nearly last, with Kaze being lead not far behind us. I struggled not to look back as I herd his bindings rattle.

Garon sat at the middle of the table, Ryoma across from him. Yukimura, mother's advisor and retainer sat at his side, his blueish hair showing more grey than I ever remembered. We made short eye contact, and he smiled softly. I shifted my eyes to Saizo and Kagero who stood defensively behind Ryoma. Garon's retainers took the same stance. Xander sat at Garon's right, and I took my spot beside him. Silas sat on the other side of us.

Ryoma watched with a grim seriousness as Kaze trudged forward. I couldn't help but steal a glance to him. His feet were bloodied and cracked from walking the entire way here barefoot, and his clothes were in tatters. Cuts and bruises scattered his exhausted face. He watched Saizo, the brothers both seeming to have a silent conversation with just their eyes.

"It's a pleasure to finally see you whilst I am a King and not a prince, King Garon." Ryoma stated calmly, "If only it weren't over such a matter."

"I'm surprised such a small man means so much to you." Garon added.

"If one of your people were held captive, especially one you sent to inform me of some importance, I'm sure you'd be outraged by the.. incompetence, of me imprisoning him after he were to have been attacked. Then attempt to hang them without any care. Yes, I'm sure you'd feel the same as I do."

Garon laughed, and Ryoma's gaze darkened.

"King Garon." He warned, "I expect your respect as I give mine to you." The tension spilled across the congregation. Garon raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"You and your sister share the same attitudes it seems. You fail to see your mistake in that, you call my actions incompetent, and then talk down to me. What man wouldn't grow amused. Now, if you want my respect in this, if you want that intruder back, you'll be giving me my honor. So, let us begin."

Ryoma set his eyes straight and smiled devishly, "And here you talk down to me. Let me ask you this, do you see me as an equal?"

"Ryoma, y-" Yukimura was quickly cut off by Garon.

"No. I don't." Ryoma tensed. Garon continued, "Why should I treat some child as my equal when they have weeks of experience, whilst I have decades. You're inexperienced, and already, I can tell you're sloppy, just like your father." He jabbed. Ryoma slammed his hands down on the table and stood up.

"You have no right to mention my father after you imprisoned him and bartered him free with my sister so one of your many suffering children would have something else to take their anger on besides themselves! If anyone is sloppy it's you and that patch of wasteland you have the nerve to call an empire!" Ryoma snapped with a long withheld anger.

"Ryoma!" I exclaimed as he brought me into the argument. Both kings gave me a stern look.

"Tell me, Ryoma, why should I respect you, and claim you an equal? Give me a reason." Garon challenged. He was calm, amused even, whilst Ryoma was seething. Yukimura was able to get him to sit back down and whispered something into his ear. He took a deep breath, and nodded. Regaining his composure.

"Refer to me as King Ryoma, please." He requested as he placed his hands on the table. "You should treat me as an equal for I have the same power as you. In Hoshido, thanks to the reign my father and Queen Mikoto had, I was accepted happily, giving me full, absolute control without any struggle," His voice had a dominant edge to them as he explained his rule, "With that control, I can make them do whatever I please, whenever. We can both force the people to do our biding. Though, mine want to."

Garon narrowed his eyes. "Be careful boy." Ryoma clenched his fists.

"I'm a King you damned fool!" He yelled. I was startled by his outburst. Gods, how much has he changed whilst I was gone.

"Then be weary King! If you want your messenger back I'd suggest you back down or else I'll leave here with him."

"You wouldn't want that, I assure you. Let's get on with the bargaining."

"What do you mean by that?" Garon set his jaw and leaned onto his hand.

"If you take that man back with you, I will mark it as an act against Hoshido and my counsel will decide our further actions."

"Really now, and tell me what you think they will chose as punishment?"

For the next few hours their banter and arguing grew in intensity without rest. They screamed at each other, at us. Everyone became involved in their bickering until both sides were against each other and at their throats. Ryoma looked to me with betrayal and sorrow as we went on. Him going off about my connections with Xander. I argued back, Xander quickly overshadowing me and beginning his own barrage of the king. He called him controlling and despicable, saying he had sick undertones and motives throughout my childhood, doing anything to keep me under his control. Just as I had begun to attempt to scream at Xander for his claims, Ryoma began his attack of the crown prince, calling him a disgusting man and claiming he'd been using my nature to make me fall in love with him and use me.

"I can assure you she has no feelings for me or anything I'm related to." He had told him. I lost all fight in me afterwards, and only listened to their banters afterwards. Soon it shifted to the kings retainers and back to the kings, whilst Yukimura tried to desperately keep the peace between them. When the darkness rolled in and the chill attacked us, the two men decided to take a short break to collect themselves. With a collected sigh from everyone, we all scattered, to separate places, save for me and Xander. He tried to escape me, though I chased him through the still and sleeping camp.

"Xander!" I cried out as he quickened his pace. He turned into our tent and I followed suite. "Xander, I need to talk to you." I said with his back turned to me. He ran a hand through his hair.

"I need to sleep for a moment before those two go on. Please make it wait." He looked over his shoulder to me.

"No, Xander please. We need to talk."

"If it's about me, then why don't you go to Silas first. I'm sure I'll overhear it then." He said pettily. I flinched and looked to the floor. "What do you want from me?" He asked, turning to face me fully. "Do want my pity for you? Do you want me to hold you and comfort you? Have you come here to sob, and make my give you my sympathy after how you treated me? I'm a human, It's hard to believe, but I'm not some dog who will continue to return to you after you throw me away. I don't function that way, for my own good. You wanted to forget about me, you wanted to get over me, though I doubted you ever held such feelings, so, for the sake of all this, for myself, I'm letting you forget. I'm letting you move on because you were right, what is there between us?" His eyebrows raised up and he shook his head, "Not as much as I had hoped. It's my fault for believing, for trying, for going through all that agony to try to make something work... that you never thought would. So leave me be, I want to sleep."

I bit back my tears as the shards of my heart rattled inside me.

"Why don't you get it..." I whispered as he turned from me to sit on his bedroll. He lifted up the covers and pulled them over him, rolling on his side so I couldn't see his face. "What don't you get about what I said!?" I yelled. "I tried to tell you! I cried in your own damn arms when you told me you couldn't love me! You told me I hurt you, that you loving me would cause you agony, and I didn't want you to hurt! So, I had to try to move on for both our sakes. I never thought you'd care!"

He quickly turned and sat up. He put a hand to his forehead, and held the other one out.

"You are my wife! No matter what we feel for each other, those titles mean something! I'm so damn sorry for caring about that! I'm sorry I got angry when I saw him kissing you." He stood up and put his hand on my neck, a frown on his lips, "I'm sorry I'm enraged that he gave you that, as if he were claiming you!"

"What are you talking about?" I questioned. He grabbed his sword and held the hilt up to me. The small purple gem was just big enough, and reflective enough to show me what he was referring to. A fading reddish bruise type mark rested under my jaw. I gasped and covered the area. I never even thought of him leaving a mark, and it seemed like he wanted to with how long it has lasted.

Oh gods, I'd been walking around with it without even knowing! Humiliation rushed through me. He put his sword back and kept his distance once more. I couldn't end this here. I had to go on. Tears filled my eyes, and he walked away from me.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, gods forgive me please! I don't want you to stop caring about me, I can't handle it, not when Garon is inches from killing me, and days away from beating me! I-" I dropped my eyes to my shaking hands, "I really am still a child... no matter how many resolutions I give myself, no matter the pep talks, I'm still some child crying out for their mother, for anyone! I make mistakes when I'm scared or when I'm sad; I say things I don't mean and I try to make people even angrier than they are, but-" I clenched my fists, "even knowing that does me no good because the change is so slow..." I let out a shaky exhale as I looked up to him, I blinked away my tears, "I was hurting, I was scarred, I just wanted it to go away, and when he held me, when he kissed me I could have some peace, because I wasn't thinking of you. But it still hurt... and even though I would've accepted him then... I know now it wouldn't last, I know the guilt, the shame of it all would kill me and I couldn't hurt you like that... but I did. And now everything is over... and I'm so sorry... I'm so terrible.." I squeaked as I tried to push my tears back.

He didn't speak to me, didn't even look at me, so I left. I left holding back tears that needed to come forth so terribly, but soon we were summoned back to the meeting and I was forced to put on a façade beside him as the kings began their work again.

The tension was suffocating as they finally began to speak of Kaze and his wellbeing.

"Hoshido requests to be repaid in full for the stress put on us after your kidnapping."

"I request that we are to be repaid for the insolence of your messenger."

Ryoma tensed and opened his mouth to argue, but Yukimura stopped him before he started another argument that'd last till the morning. He whispered something into his ear and Ryoma looked shocked before replying to him in hushed tones. Their conversation went on for a time before Garon grew impatient.

"Would you like to share your words, King Ryoma?" He asked as he rapped his fingers against the table. Ryoma sighed softly and gave his advisor a glance and a small nod.

"I-... We will give you what is needed to have Kaze return to us." He said with a loss of pride. Garon smiled.

"Ah, something I've been waiting to hear. Tell me, what would you like to offer me?"

Ryoma seemed to think it over before he replied, "We can give you a large, large sum of money."

"Nobles offer me money at every turn for no other reason than to speak to me. You must try harder."

"Food, water, flora, fauna, medicines, things you need." He offered. Garon clicked his tongue.

"A wonderful idea, but, ah the supplies will run low at some point... so, why not instead we talk trade hmm?"

"...Yes." Ryoma replied wearily. He looked unsure. Garon's grin grew bigger.

"For this little whelp of yours, I want full control of the two trade routes that we have been so rudely denied of for generations."

"No! Out of the question." Ryoma said without falter. Garon stood up. Ryoma tensed and watched him with a hateful gleam.Â 

"Then we are done here. Soldiers, take the prisoner back. We leave in the morning." He looked over Ryoma before stepping away from the table.

"Wait! Wait I-... we can make this work." Ryoma called out. The king put a hand on the table and remained standing, his smile turned into a smirk filled with the worst of intentions.

"Let's."

Two hours of bargaining, and regret followed. Garon quickly gained the upper hand against Ryoma, who was powerless to stop the trade happening before his eyes. Garon easily took control of two major trade routes that would now be altered to pass through Nohr. Twenty minutes in and he would have merchants from the capital sell their wares to Nohr's castles and nobles once every two months at least. An hour afterwards he was able to have soldiers stationed and guarding the area around it as well as minor control of a fort near the border wall. In that two hours' remaining forty minutes, Kaze was finally returned to Hoshido under the midnight moon.

Ryoma took the chains off of him, and patted him on the back, whispering something into his ear. Kaze nodded wearily and limped off to his brother. He smiled to him and Saizo helped him walk. Kaze, looking back to me only once, relief in his eyes, and against the burning pieces of my heart, I smiled to him brighter than the day he asked for my hand, because this horrible page in our lives were over, and he was free, and finally safe.

It brought me some peace... but not enough to starve off the dread in my chest as all of us were dismissed to sleep. Further meetings would ensue tomorrow and possibly the day after, but for now, we could rest. When I approached Ryoma in response to his earlier request of meeting him, he told me he needed to speak with Kaze and Yukimura for the time being. I hesitantly accepted, and returned to the Nohrian camp.

With hesitance unbound, I entered the tent. Xander laid on his side, resting his head on his arm, his golden hair covering his face. I kept my head down and sat down on my bed roll with crossed legs. I removed my circlet and sat it down in front of me.

I took in a long soft breath and glanced back to Xander, his back to me. I slowly slid down, and pulled the blanket over my shoulders.

I didn't want to accept him... I wasn't done with him. I needed his forgiveness so terribly. I couldn't live knowing he thought I believed him worthless. I couldn't handle the truth that I very quietly attempted to throw him away. And I couldn't sleep with the idea that he may never forgive me for what I told him.


	10. A Battle Between Bloodlines

Early the next morning, I was requested to visit the Hoshidan camp and discuss matters with my brother to make up for what we lost last night, but as I changed into more formal clothes for our meeting, I couldn't help but dread what he had to say to me. Would it be more claims of brainwashing, or more accusations of Xander? Both of them have obvious gruff to one another: Xander having the gall to call Ryoma controlling and dominant in the ways he acted when I was a child to now; Ryoma biting back by saying he was disgusting. The two were filled with out right hate towards each other. I hoped it was simply from the tension of that day that brought it out of them, else it will be a horrid beginning for Xander in his rule against him. Though maybe one day they'll not be opposed and work together. Gods grant me that wish...

The thought would've plagued me on my journey, but the long walk was rough on my ankle so early in the morning, making me have another things to focus on. With the dawn light at my back. I made it to Ryoma's tent in decent time. The soldier escorting me bowed out as I lifted the flap up. Unbeknownst to me inside were a band of people. Ryoma with Kaze, his retainers and his advisor waited for me, all standing around a table newly set up inside. Carefully, I approached, glancing at the contents on their playing field. A map crudely pinned down stared back, various marks and arrows pointed to seemingly random spots were placed on it.

I looked back up to the congregation, hoping none saw my interest in their work. I instantly found Kaze's set of eyes. He looked weary, but much better than before. He wore lose, fresh garments, his face no longer dirtied, hair no longer matted. It was a relief to see him in safe hands.

He gave me a look of peace and I returned it with the faintest of smiles. Sadly, my ease faded almost instantly when I viewed the rest of those in the tent. They watched me closely, with even Yukimura holding a twinge of defense in his eyes.

As it occurred to me, I bowed to the new king, only to have him raise a hand in response.

"You don't need to bow to me in private." He said with a condescending nod. I glanced around to the people surrounding us.

"A grand idea of privacy, Brother. So," I put my hand down gently on the table, "why am I here?" I asked tensely. The room was unwelcoming. Never before had I ever felt unwelcome around Hoshidans. So terribly I wanted their gazes to feel warm and inviting, as if I had never left... but there was nothing, not even from Ryoma.

Ryoma considered me with the look of a frustrated parent before putting both hands down on the table. He over looked the map grimly, angrily. His sharp gaze found my own.

"We've lost a great deal to Garon in mere moments; I was powerless to stop him." He looked back to the map and balled up his hands into fists, "With supplies going to Nohr, we will be nothing."

I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What? Why would that be such an issue besides some loss of revenue?" I asked, suspicion lacing my voice. Ryoma sighed and ran a hand through his hair before tracing a trade route with two fingers, until he diverged and went on an invisible path to Nohr.

"Our biggest advantage against Nohr was their lack of supplies. Father understood that, Mikoto understood that. As peace-loving as your mother was, she refused to allow major trade, she knew the people were starving...."

"What are you trying to say about her?" I growled. I gripped my pendant tight. I had to stay under control. Not all of them knew of my condition. Ryoma stopped his journey on the map and looked back to me.

"Peace, Corrin. I respect your mother and her rule, in no way am I racking her name through the mud. I revere her rule now, in truth." He said with a thoughtful hold on his face.

"Then explain what you are trying to tell me. The wife of the coming king, Brother." I warned. His eyes darkened with rue and he looked back to his map.

"Hoshido can no longer starve out Nohr with those trade routes in Garon's hands-"

"You'd starve out a country? For what?" I stood at my full height with confused, worried eyes. I thought he'd be more than willing to help Nohr. After all, I thought he would want to discuss trade and have us all work together. We need his help... the people need his help if my parents refused to help.

"If we want to keep their threat at bay, we need them to be weak."

"Ryoma, if they were a threat, it'd because of Hoshido's lack of support." I said sympathetically to mask the anger welling up inside of my body.

"No-"

"Yes! Your country has had every chance to help those people!" For so many years our family was able to eat bountiful amounts of food without worry. We could eat whatever we wanted and push it away if it wasn't to our tastes. "How would you feel to be standing next to a feast and be denied to it as it rots and is thrown away?"

"Your country?! This is your place as well! This is even more a reason why you are coming back home!" He yelled. He stood up and came close to me, looking down on me more harshly then I'd ever seen. I grit my teeth. I clutched my pendant.

"How hard is it to understand that I'm not even of Hoshidan blood!"

"We don't know that!" He opposed.

"My father could have been a damn Nohrian!"

"He was probably some peasant!"

"What would you know!? Are you hiding something from me? Are you lying to me?! Tell me Ryoma, what do you know that I do not!?"

"Tell me, are you a Hoshidan?!"

"Who is my father!?" I bellowed out.

"Answer me?!"

"Whose blood am I of!?"

"Corrin, are you a Hoshidan!" He yelled. I withheld the urge to slap him. I barred my teeth and let go of my necklace, throwing my arms back as I leaned up to be in his face, fingers burning, back aching.

"NO!" I bellowed out. His eyes flashed; the dragon burst through, my wings luckily only ripping up the dress a slight amount, letting the fabric remain mostly in tact. The people gasped around us. Within in moments a shuriken was at my throat. I went stiff and slowly followed the arm attached to the weapon to meet Saizo's harsh gaze.

"Get back." He ordered. I limped backwards until my wing filled back hit a post keeping the tent up.

"Saizo, don't upset her more." Kaze warned. "She could easily disarm you." I exhaled sharply and leaned my neck back as the weapon touched me.

"I'd cut her even before the scales grew, Brother." Injured eye opened, both orbs burned with a hate I never saw from him. Though I was closer to Kaze, I was always in good standing with the twin. I had his trust, and our small band of three would often play when we were at our youngest.

"I can control my major transformation with my necklace when needed." I put out, hoping he'd deem me less of a threat. In reality, I had no idea if I could. That night after Silas's offer and my and Xander's falling out could've been just a single time. I still don't know how to fully control any of this really.

"Just a moment ago wasn't a very good demonstration." Kagero said sharply, her weapon ready as well.

"This version of myself is a bit less compliant and easier to trigger." I responded. I hardened my features when I witness Ryoma go back to looking at his map without a care of my situation. With an inhale, I sucked in a bountiful amount of courage. "Drop your weapons." I ordered. They didn't flinch.

"Are you threatening us?" Saizo asked dangerously.

"I'm telling you to drop your weapons so I can calm myself, unless Ryoma has objections and would rather have me angered and defenseless as he tries to force me to answer things he already knows." I spat. The fledgling king turned to me.

"Blood doesn't make loyalty to ones country. It's a mindset." He approached me, "So, tell me, with that in the air, what is your answer?" He asked, looking down at me once more. I gripped Saizo's arm and leaned towards Ryoma as much as allowed. He shoved me back, pressing the tip of the weapon hard against me. A single swallow would cause a cut.

"No." I said lightly, withholding my fire. I closed my eyes and exhaled a heavy breath. After a moment of thick tension and silence, the dragon slept. Using the extra room gained for losing my wings, I pressed myself closer to the post, gaining myself some slight distance from Saizo. With the flick of a hand, Saizo stepped aide. "Now let me return to my camp." I stated with a flat harshness. I felt sick at Ryoma's look of betrayal. He faced his map again.

"You are returning with us to Hoshido. Having you return to your old mind before they corrupted you-" He growled, "will be worth more than any trade route Garon can steal from us."

I narrowed my gaze.

"In doing so, you'd be going against what you said earlier. You'd be giving them more food, that thing my people shouldn't have. So, how am I worth you giving up on that dream of starvation?" He pulled a kunai from his pocket and dropped it from above onto the end of the invisible route had had made. He examined it with the intensity of a spinstress would examine her weavings

"Yukimura, escort her back to the Nohrian scum she prefers.

Yukimura bowed, and left out of the tent. As I neared the opening, Ryoma grabbed my arm suddenly. I refused to look at him as he grew closer to my ear.

"You are a Hoshidan, a fact you'll remember soon enough, _little princess._ " He whispered ruefully. I ripped myself from his grasp and hurried outside to Yukimura, not minding the draft from the open tear of my dress. I'd have left naked if it meant escaping him.

I held my arms as a shiver overcame me. I let out a chilled breath and watched the grass roll by. I willed myself to forget his last words. I made myself move on from the entire experience as I made the cleansing walk back to the camp. Once I returned, I gave Yukimura a word of thanks and let that be the final act of relieving myself from it all. I refused our encounter, outright denied it... When the stress of this whole ordeal with Garon is over, he'll change.

I slowly hobbled down the path to my tent, intent on sleeping the day away and pushing off my presence in the upcoming meeting. If the kings and the crown prince were going to just talk over me, I would rather save myself the stress. And, luckily for me, the walk back went by without issue, save for the surprised looks from the soldiers regarding my tattered clothing.

When I came back to my temporary home, the sight of the empty tent and hard bedroll had never been so inviting. I quickly nestled myself under the blankets and curled up on my side, hugging the bulk of my puffy dress. I let out an exhale and closed my eyes blissfully as my mind cleared. I drained away all the thoughts plaguing my mind. From Xander to Ryoma, they all dissolved, one by one-

 _"Little princess."_ Ryoma's voice whispered deep in my mind.

My eyes wrenched open. My hair stood on end. I quickly sat up and looked around me. I was still alone. I hesitantly laid back down. I pulled the covers over my head and gripped my dress tightly as two voices chanted in the frontlines of my mind.

Don't think about it. Ryoma is the same. He's your brother. Everything is alright.

What happened to my older brother? Why do I matter? What does my loyalty to Hoshido mean? Why did he call me that name?

**How did he know that name?**

My blood ran cold. I slowly sat back up.

Xander never called me his pet name in front of him. Never did he utter that life defining name in Hoshido even. So... how would Ryoma know that that phrase would stir up so much in me, that I'd leave, nearly run from him, instead of fighting against him even more?

Disgust burned up my mouth bile and I struggled to breathe. The voice saying to forget was stomped out like a fire on dead grass. Over and over the irrational voice became the rational one as I stared out to the tent's closed opening, searching for the answers that couldn't possibly leave it at being a coincidence.

That man in there was trying too hard to be in control for that to go without meaning. He knew very well what he was doing, so I must ask: How. He. Knew. My stomach churned in horror and I gripped the blankets tightly.

I never sent him a letter addressing Xander and I's status, never mentioned anything between us besides my beginning annoyance, and then worry for him whilst he was ill, a time in which he could hardly stay conscious, let alone say those two words. So, how did he know?

It baffled me. I felt utterly helpless as the question rolled over in my mind. I squirmed in discomfort as the blank answer stared me back.

"There you are." A stern voice came ahead of me. With a small gasp my head snapped up. My surprise calmed only an inch when I saw Xander instantly look down to my waist, shock flashed in his eyes. His gaze flipped up to my eyes, "Why did you transform? Or did someone do this to you? The soldiers said a Hoshidan came and took you to their side. So, weren't you with Ryoma?" His worried tone caught me off guard.

"Y-yes, I was." I replied. My hand touched my waist, and I felt bits of ripped fabric hanging down. No wonder he noticed, it was worse than I imagined. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"What did he do?" He asked protectively. I mirrored his look of confusion in response to his tone.

"We just talked." I said with a shrug and shake of the head as to put down his worry in the most petty of ways. But, Gods, I didn't mean to. Why did I keep doing this, saying things I don't mean, acting against how I feel? Why won't I stop? Here, playing the part of caring about me, and I push him off like he's nothing. Why can't I end this horrible charade?

His expression hardened and he stepped closer to me, though even with his height, it didn't seem like he was trying to look down at me, or even intimidate me. His fingers reached out, his lips twitched in response, but he bit back whatever he was originally meaning to say and instead looked to the side for a split second moment of weakness. I softened, and my shoulders fell.

"Fine." His stone eyes met mine head-on. His worry, his protectiveness, was shoved away so fast I nearly fell back at the change. The false sincerity of it all hit me hard as I deflated against his words. How could I think he cared? He's playing the part of a war general and is simply trying to get information from me to give to Garon isn't he? I was, after all, a once Hoshidan princess, bartered away to cause peace, or life, or whatever my father had planned in that time.

I nearly scoffed. Is that why Xander was so easily deterred from me when I did what I did? He never was attached was he? He only grew closer to me so I'd tell him every dirty secret of Hoshido, didn't he? He was turning into an even more controlling version of his father wasn't-

I smashed the entire hateful banter to him from my mind. He's a man with feelings, like me or anyone else. If I witnessed him pressing mouths against another woman I'd no doubt react the same as him. I'd treat him the same, if not worse, than he was doing to me now.

I can never say if he was attached to me. I can never give his reasons as to why he did (if he ever did) grow closer to me. I can only say one thing with confidence: he was not becoming his father because he was done with me. I can't blame his reactions of my actions on him as if I did nothing. I am not some innocent lamb in this murder of trust and I must quell the emerging thought that is telling me otherwise. In truth, the towering general before me is the lamb, and I am the slaughterer.

But can't I admit that the switch in our relationship, no matter who the blame is on, is agonizing?

Xander retreated to the back of the tent and retrieved his sword. I watched with a silent interest as he examined the blade before nodding in acceptance even though a soft sigh escaped his lips. He held it close to his hip and came back to face me.

"When I left my Father, he had just sent out a messenger to tell the King that it's time for the next meeting. I was sent to fetch you for it." He said blandly.

"Why must I even be there? I offer nothing to the table?"

"King Garon requests it, and if you are meant to rule with me, you need to be well versed in court. These are good times to study upon how we must and mustn't act in these situations." he held out a hand to me, "We don't have time to wait for your to change. Come."

I took his offer and he pulled me to my feet without grace. He held an arm out to escort me, his sole reason no doubt only to remain respectful and keep up the etiquette required of our status. I accepted it and, we made the slow walk to the table, with Xander never putting his sword back down.

We arrived just after Garon and his retainers, with our side nearly filled out save for Silas, but the Hoshidans where absent. Xander and I took our seats and I watched with dread at the opposing camp, awaiting Ryoma's eventual decent to us.

I placed my hands on the table and folded them. Glancing to my side I quietly asked, "What's the plan today?" I pushed back any private issues and attempted to act professional. Xander kept his gaze forward whilst he replied to me.

"Finalize our control on the trade routes and talk warfare." I reeled back in shock.

"Warfare?! Are we at war now?" I asked in horror. He shook his head gently.

"Not yet... Father only wants to show Ryoma my skills as a general. He wants to make our strength clear."

"I don't think that's the best idea." I whispered as memory of my earlier meeting came to mind. "Ryoma is already worried about Nohr as a threat."

"This will simply show him our strength, it's common place to show off troops to new kings. Father claims I'm enough."

"This isn't a good idea. It'll just strain everything further. He's already weary about us but enough so to take action." I warned. He glanced to me.

"Father knows what he's doing. Let it be." He returned his gaze to the horizon. I sighed and looked down to my hands. Maybe he was right to trust Garon this time, I mean, what training did I have in politics besides the slightest amount of logic? Still, I didn't know if that had anyplace here in this odd struggle of power.

Ryoma came to us with a band of 5 behind him, one of them I recognized as Silas when they grew nearer. Silas was waved away by both Garon, and I knew his time in this small war was up. With a bow, he returned to the Hoshidan camp, never once looking my way. My heart ached at that small act. Things would forever be different between us, and it pained me. He was a refreshing beam of light in the darkness of Nohr... but we did it to ourselves. These things we're facing now our -rightfully deserving- punishments.

I herd a rustling, and watched Yukimura pulled out a box with papers, ink, and quills inside. I instantly knew that the meeting had begun.

After disputing the final terms of Garons control over the trade routes, the two wrote down their agreements, and put a signature on each paper. Ryoma had Yukimura sign both pages, and Garon had Xander sign them as well. I assumed it to be proof that others were witnesses to this.

When I thought the signing was to be over, Ryoma held out his quill to me, Yukimura looking to him with confusion in response. I reached out slowly, making sure he didn't mean the pen for anyone else. He leaned it closer to me, and I knew then, he wanted me to sign. He slid one of the papers to me. Xander did as well, his near hesitance proof to his own confusion. I looked to him for some sort of answer as to why my signature was needed. I wasn't important enough to be involved in this, and everyone here knew that. With a quick glance down to the document and back to me, I understood that I should just follow Ryoma's silent order.

I brought the feather down and scrapped it against the page. No ink flowed through. I tried again. Yukimura cleared his throat, breaking the deadly silence.

"Lady Corrin, you may need to supply it with more ink." He suggested.

"A-ah, yes, o-of course." I reached out to the inkwell, but the length of my arms made it quite difficult to dip the tip inside. I scooted forward in my seat, bumping my sensitive burns against the table. Once I managed to wet the end, I pulled the item away, and in doing so with how I was struggling to hold it, I tipped the entire bottle over, ink spilling over the table in a thick black mess. With a gasp I reeled back, and dropped the pen into the pool. Ryoma snatched the papers before the ink spread out and ruined them, Saizo removed his scarf and dropped it onto the table to begin cleaning it off.

I looked to the feather sinking in the ink and filled myself with a confidence to get dirty. Just as Xander offered me his quill I reached out and retrieved the item from the mess, my hand was covered in it. I quickly stood up before my nerves got to me and ventured to Ryoma. He sat the papers down on a clean portion of the table, and I crudely signed my name, misspelling at the second page when distracted by a drop of ink that fell onto the papers. Without thought, I attempted to wipe it away, making the small dot a disgusting streak thanks to my dirtied hands.

I didn't even look at my mess and instead hurried back to my side of the table. I dropped my pen in front of Yukimura and sat back down. I mistakenly wiped my hands on the dress, making me cringe and very slowly set my hands down in my lap. My face burned with embarrassment as I kept my eyes down. For a moment, I wondered if the moment could have gotten worse, only to have my question answered.

"Princess Corrin," Ryoma began, "what happened to the back of your dress?" He asked cruelly. I looked up to him, pleading with my eyes that he stop this. My hands began to tremble as I struggled to bring out a reply, only to have someone else pipe in.

"It's a new style in Nohr. My sisters thought she should show it off." Xander said spitefully to the King.

"Y-yes." I whispered.

I felt small under Ryoma's eyes as he feigned innocence in all this. His soft smile made my chest burn.

"Ah, well, it looks wonderful." He sounded like some childhood bully.

My lip quivered against my will. I forced a smile. "Thank you." My voice cracked. I gripped my pendant with my cleaner hand to push down the oncoming transformation in response to my humiliation.

Saizo stepped back, red scarf stained black, revealing the clean table. Yukimura quickly went back into his box and pulled out a map which was draped delicately on the deep wood of the table. Ryoma traced a familiar invisible path, explaining that he expected the new route going into Nohr would look like so. It didn't go without an argument from Garon, of course, but luckily, Ryoma stood down almost instantly. Garon laid out his plan for the two roads and Ryoma gave in after a moment of thought and agreed. Using the last of the ink in the well, Garon drew the new roads on the map, then added small markings beside them. Soldier outposts? Everyone else seemed to understand. 

I should just keep my head down.

"Is that suffice?" Garon asked when finished with his additions on the map. Ryoma gave him a nod.

"Yes. So, are we done with this matter?" He responded wearily.

"Of course." Garon rolled up the parchment and handed it to the king who returned it to his advisor. Garon took a deep breath and smirked, the placed his folded hands on the table. In the corner of my eye, I witnessed Xander loosen his grip on his sword and purposefully allow it to fall to the ground with a rattle.

Ryoma furrowed his brow and with a false surprise, Xander reached down to retrieved his weapon. He bowed slightly and sat it on the table.

"Forgive me, Milord, my hand slipped." He responded humbly. I withheld a dark smile as I realized how terrifyingly smart the two were together. Even so, I whispered a small prayer to the gods that their plan did not backfire.

In response to the sword upon the table, Ryoma traced a finger from his chin to his jaw and back.

"May I ask why the crown prince has brought his weapon here when you are defenseless, King Garon?" Ryoma questioned with a raised eyebrow. Garon shook his head.

"My son prefers to travel armed. I'm so used to seeing him fully armored I didn't even think of him taking his sword this afternoon. Forgive me if we've offended you." He bowed his head.

"Your army must be uptight if your own son travels armed at all times." He said with a drawl. He folded his hands and kept them near his chin, considering the weapon on the table. Garon had played Ryoma right into his hands, and with it, I fully understood how right Garon was in claiming he was a more seasoned king the night before. I thought his age would have been obvious enough, but this weighed on his side even more favorably.

Garon watched Ryoma with a hardened gaze as he spoke. "Xander is the mark of a true Nohrian soldier. He is the best knight we have," I could practically feel the pride beaming from Xander as his Father spoke, "as such, he leads the front-lines in any battle he is needed in. He trains our best men to be better. He strives to make the entirety of our army well versed and incomparable to any other." Ryoma hummed in recognition.

"You have such high hopes of him. I can't really view his skills through your words now can I?" Ryoma said with a small smile. Garon waved Xander up. He nodded him off to the right of the table. Xander took his sword and complied.

He stood tall and strong, looking ahead without any fear or worry. His loose shirt tucked into his pants ruffled as the wind began to blow. He didn't seem to mind as his unruly curls flowed about around his face. He seemed to be focusing on the opponent he'd not even yet seen.

"Saizo, meet Xander on the field." Ryoma ordered. Garon stopped the retainer and instead, offered an alternate.

"Why not have him show off his restraint first? Putting him against one of your best men would make it too easy to hold back considering their build. How about someone less accommodated with battles."

"Forgive me Sire, but I brought only my best soldiers. Even my advisor can hold his own."

"Ah, we have one." Garon turned to me. Send me to find an alternate. Send me off. Gods, please send me off instead. "Corrin meet Xander on the field." My heart fell.

"I-I don't have a weapon, sire." I said. Garon reached over and lifted up my necklace. I watched in horror as he took it off and sat it in front of him.

"You don't need one." I looked to Ryoma. He watched Xander with distrust behind his brown eyes.

"Will she be hurt?" He asked softly. Garon smiled reassuringly.

"I'd never put your sister in harm's way."

"Then I allow it." I met my brother's eyes with betrayal and anguish burning behind mine. His expression fell, and softened remorsefully. With one long look to my pendant, I stood up and slowly approached Xander, my ankle aching more than ever.

He watched me with regret, but still drew his sword, still threw his sheath to the side, still pointed the blade at me. Hate began to steam behind his eyes, and I had to wonder if it were towards me.

From afar I faintly herd Garon announce for our fight to begin whilst he examined my stone with interest. But I had no battle in me. I was tired and humiliated as I watched Xander walk towards me, his sword at his side. I wanted to sleep, and I wanted to stop. I wanted my mother to hold me, my father give me words of encouragement, I wanted my siblings, I wanted my brother. I wanted Xander.

He stopped a person's length away from me.

I felt so naked with my ripped dress and without my pendant, making every emotion a scary reminder of how easily I could be sucked into a rampage. I clenched my fists and felt the sticky ink rub together. Humiliation smacked me so roughly my eyes watered.

I realized that I'd never felt so alone. Surrounded by those who had changed and left me, the isolation was suffocating me. I had no one to turn to here, no one to trust with my deepest feelings like I once had. I had abused the shoulder I could once cry on... lost the mother that gave me hope that all would give me on...  and watched the man who warned me and swore to keep me from ever needing to shed my tears, change into one that would cause them to not only fall, but sizzle and burn when they would eventually hit the ground. The place that was my home, now treated me like a foreigner, and the place I now took up residence did the same. I had no one... no home... and no bloodline to view with pride. I was some bastard child wasn't I? Some baggage my mother bought with her before she ever met the man that partially raised me. With Ryoma thinking me insane... Xander was all I could've hoped to have left in this... But... he was lost long ago.

"Strike first, Little Princess." He murmured solemnly. The name cut deeper than he ever could.

With blank eyes, I pushed down the pain in my ankle, and walked up to him. I raised my hand high, aimed to slap him across the face, but I stomped out that petty demon in me, and I let it fall to his chest. I gripped his shirt loosely, and thumbed the light fabric momentarily as I tried so dearly to regain my failing composure.. but I gave into it, and decided it was time to confess... before everything around me turned to ash and bone, and I lose my chance forever.

"Please, let me speak, before you strike me... I beg of you..." I whispered. The grip on his sword lessened. I watched his hands for an eternity before I began with my weak and quivering voice. "I once wondered if I could ever live a life with you. If I could have what I once dreamed of with Kaze... If I could lay beside you and hold your hand... throw away my duties as a royal and live a humble life as a wife and as a mother." I let out a breathy sob. "It took me too long to understand that I couldn't... so you had already earned a strong place in my heart, and how couldn't you?" I held his shirt tighter. "You were the first person I could cry on. The only one who went to such lengths to help me and my mother transition to this new life, even when I had openly despised you." I sighed thickly, the corners of my lips turning into a frown as my view became blurry. "You gave me hope that Nohr could be my home, and with it, it seemed to become just that... but I realized one day, when you confessed the truth of your feelings to me, that, that home in Nohr, was only a home if you were there loving me... I was alright at first, understanding your situation and mine... but it started hurting... it started hurting so terribly and I couldn't come crying to you about it. I tried to remain grateful that you would protect me, and with that could still make Nohr feel homey, but everyday it grew worse... and then... then I felt a hand at my waist, and lips at my neck and everything went away."

Shame overburdened me so heavily I began to shrivel. My shoulders raised up, and I bit down on my lip. I grew lightheaded as the draconic transformation took hold of me stronger than before. I held onto him tightly as I struggled to stand against the mutt I was becoming. I knew I had only moments before the full dragon would return, and without my necklace, it urged me to destroy this whole place, and him with it. I grit my teeth and emptied my emotions out through my tears, and with them I felt everything revert.

My voice was higher, and even less stable as I went on, "Even when he kissed me, just in the back of my mind, it still hurt. I knew it wouldn't go away... but the less I felt seemed to be the better. I would've said yes." I sobbed, "but I know now that it wouldn't have lasted. The shame and the betrayal alone would have brought me to confess to you. To beg for forgiveness." I sucked in a breath and managed to compose myself, but in doing so my voice was brought to a pitiful whisper, "I want to be your wife, and I know the title means everything. I don't know what we have- h-had... but it was something. It was enough for me to be able to move one... but I destroyed it without ever meaning to. I want what we had back, I want it more than ever being yours, because at least then you wouldn't be deaf to my screams of help..." I blinked away the wetness in my eyes. "I want to be able to lay beside you in our less-than-humble bed... to hold your hand and wake up together. I want your love most in my life. I would die a thousand deaths if it meant, in one lifetime, for even one day, you'd care for me just as much as I care for you." Tears welled up in my eyes again, and I struggled to withhold them. "But that's because I'm some selfish whore. Truthfully, I'd want a lifetime where your days were beautiful and filled with happiness more than your love... In this life, neither may ever be, but... no matter what you think of me... I want to be there for you. I want you to know that you'd always have one person ready to give their heart to you if you could no longer bear the weight of your own.... and mine will always be there, no matter what you feel of me." I slowly let go of his shirt and took a step back. I bowed my head. "Forgive me, if loving you, will ever cause you grief or regret, as I don't wish to hurt you anymore than I already have... Forgive me for what I said to you... Forgive me for what I did." Tears streamed down my cheeks. My eyes trailed to his tightening grip on the weapon. The phantom pain of my scar filled me and I held the invisible place of my pendant. Fear filled me, and the acceptance of him attacking me was pulled away. "Please don't hurt me." I whispered desperately. I squeezed my eyes shut.

I felt his hands fall on my shoulders gently. I looked up in fear to see his remorse ridden face. He pulled me into his protection and nearly embraced me as he leaned to my ear to whisper,

" _My little princess..."_ I cringed and his hold on me faltered, but his words went on, _"I-"_

"Xander, what is this hold up?" Garon yelled across the way. Xander returned to his full height and pulled me into his protective grasp.

"King Ryoma." Xander yelled from across the field, completely disregarding his father. "If you so desperately want to see my skills, why not test your own strength instead of letting your own sister head straight into battle unarmed. Show me the pride you have failed to show any of us here!"

Nestled against Xander's chest, I could rely only on my ears. I herd Garon first as he stopped in front of us. I could hear him struggle to keep his voice down.

"What are you doing, boy." He growled. Xander pushed me ever closer to him, his large hands set firmly at my back. I herd another approach.

"Prince Xander." Ryoma warned, he had the same fed-up tone mother would have when she was addressing the court. "I should put charges down upon you for speaking against me in my own country." He warned. "I should punish you for your lack of respect."

"You say it as if you're some sort of victim. You've given no one here any shred of the respect you crave so terribly. You have previously spoken out against my father and attempted to intimidate and insult **my** wife! You don't deserve my respect, your majesty."

"Xander-" Garon growled.

"No." Ryoma cut in. "He's right. About everything, in fact. I should've faced you myself, I should earn your respect that way. How about this, crown prince, we battle like you want, if you win, I will honor your strength and let you be with your opinions of me, but if I win, you will give me my respect."

"I accept. Corrin," He pushed me back and crouched down to meet my height, "Go back to our tent and wash off. I'll meet you when this is over. There's something I need to tell you." He turned me around to face Ryoma, seeming to send me off, but kept his hands on my shoulders.

"You almost seem sure of yourself Prince." Ryoma said spitefully.

"I am." He replied. Ryoma smirked. He faced Garon.

"Are you so sure of your son's abilities against me, King?" He asked. Garon's anger towards Xander dissipated and turned into interest for Ryoma's question.

"I am." He responded without doubt. Ryoma smiled.

"Then why don't we raise the stakes for your son? If we both think he is so well, let's make him have even more incentive than a bit of respect and honor?" He suggested.

"And what would that be?" With his answer, the tables turned so violently it seemed as if Ryoma had control this entire time.

"If I win, Corrin comes back home to Hoshido with me, indefinitely. She will, of course, remain betrothed to Xander, and I'd allow her to visit now and then, but her permanent residence will be Hoshido afterwards. I'm sure she's not been in Nohr long enough to have settled too much. Even in that time, I wouldn't be surprised if she has caused you any issues. With her in Hoshido, she can do nothing of the sort. If Xander wins, then she will remain in Nohr, but we all know you only want her for the children she'd bare with that ability her mother hid from her for so long. We all know that the stronger the dragons blood, the better the ruler, don't we, Sire." He gave a sly look to the man behind me,

My hair stood on end and disgust filled my stomach.

"You bring up a point." Garon muttered. My eyes widened.

"Xander?" I whimpered, turning my head to see him. He gripped me tightly and I went back to watching Ryoma.

"We are not savages that barter women, Father. We are not doing this, not again." Xander said sternly. Again?

"Think of it. All the benefits without the hassle." Ryoma said. Garon looked at me, his eyes examining every inch of me before he returned to Ryoma.

"Father." Xander warned.

"If you lose, the girl stays in Nohr." Garon replied.

I looked to them in horror. Long ago, before I saw boundless truths and meet Xander, I once felt like livestock being examined for the selling. It made the worthlessness burn all the more brightly knowing both, my once beloved brother and the mad king bent on breaking me, were trading me off as if I were nothing. As if my thoughts didn't matter. 

"I'll be back in a moment with my sword." Ryoma turned to Xander, "We fight here.." He left and Garon stepped away from Xander and I. I looked to the swaying grass.

Ryoma will never listen to reason. He will never understand that Hoshido is somewhere I no longer belong... He can't see the distrust in the others' eyes. He doesn't understand that the second word of Kaze's attack came so close after my move to Nohr, that my opinion in that blossoming country no doubt went from nothing, to that prejudice they've had to all Nohrians. I am no different now, but I can't say I want to return now. Not understanding how hateful those people were to Nohrians, how that idea that all of them were monsters was pushed onto me before I could even walk. I accepted it, and the kidnapping of my father did not help anything... but I can see from all I've met so far, that there are always good people no matter where you go. I can say with confidence that these people's king does not represent them. If Ryoma can't see that, and refuses to understand that I've realized and moved on from Hoshido, I can't allow him to take me back there, no matter how much I want to see the daylight, and breath the fresh air. I want so dearly to hug my siblings again. I want to learn the staff from Sakura, watch Hinoka struggle with her training as a high royal, hold Takumi's battering fingers as he reminisces the bow shots he landed.... I want to idolize my brother.... and be ignorant to the change he's gone through. I want my old life to thrive even when I'm not apart of it, but something deep inside of me is telling me it can't... and I'm struggling to accept that my old life is dead and festering before my very eyes.

I took in a shallow breath and watched the ground hopelessly. I couldn't think of any of this, not without my necklace, not without that warmth. With my shaking hands and heavy heart, any more stress added would no doubt thrust me into a rampage.

"Corrin." Xander muttered. I hesitantly turned to face him. "What do you want from me?" He asked carefully.

"What do you mean?" I questioned, mental exhaustion making my words slow and dead sounding. He looked to me with a desperation behind him.

"Do you want me to throw this fight? Do you want to go back to your family? You'd never have to look back, never have to face me again. You could live that life you wanted with Kaze, have what you want with Silas, and I would not be there to stop you. Do you want to go?"

"Do you want it?" I whispered. For days we've not spoken a single kind word to each other. He seemed finished with me, body and soul, and what was one moment during my confession where he pulled me back to him to dictate that this charade is over?

"Do you?" His voice was soft and calming. I saw all those emotions in his eyes swirling and haunting him. I could feel his hurt and pain as he waited patiently for my answer. I saw Silas and I in those brown orbs. I saw what we did, and I saw Xander shut down the moment I admitted to my answer. In his gaze everything changed. Instead of a cold and uncaring man in his looks after my affair, I saw him push down the urge to care. I saw the horror in him as he reached for his sword as Garon attempted to kill me. Hurt, pain, anguish, remorse, hiding behind the stone look. And I realized, he wasn't finished with me, he never was. But why would he do all of those things if he wasn't?

I'd never be able to crack the mystery that was Xander with one glance, no matter how many times I could see what he was, it was only ever because he wanted me to. And right now, I was grateful that he allowed me one moment to see what I was blind to through my own shame.

My lip trembled and I shook my head. "No." I said with my unstable voice, but with tears I always wanted to shed, I swallowed them down though it did nothing, I watched him with determination- as if I were the one readying their sword. "I don't want to go back."

Nohr was my home... its people were my blood... it's cold lands my skin... their king my heart... but their crown prince my soul. I made the choice many nights ago when I stayed at his side as he coughed blood and laid at the brink of death. I chose the day he held me and cried against my breast.

I made my decision the second I decided I'd use Silas for solace... because in doing something so rash that I'd have an affair, if it meant forgetting, if only for the mingling beating of our hearts, through that man's lips and hands, in choosing him, my true choice quietly landed on Xander just beyond the painful lust.

I would've said yes I admit that. I might have done much more than kiss him that day, and if Xander wasn't around I may have even done such things right in that forest, but even without it, shame's ashen figure has stalked me since then, and with each step it makes closer to embracing me, I realize that I would have never escaped its presence if I let the relationship go on, and I know that I'd have released Silas of his services mere moments after his offer.

Because, I'd rather have endless heartache, than a self-hate and self-disgust filled monster latching on and suffocating me for the rest of my life.

"I don't want to go." I said with a soft spoken pride underneath me. Behind Xander's eyes something flickered. He held my shoulders with a feather's touch. If you had never saw the scars and burns on his hands and arms, you'd have never known that this man was ever a warrior.

Xander spoke gently."Hurry back to the tent, you shouldn't have to see this."

"Please... don't hurt him. I-...I understand that you have to but... only do what you must."

He nodded and slowly let go of me.I scurried across the way as fast as I could. As I traveled down the path I reached to my chest to feel my pendant to put down my emotions, and possibly release some pent up energy, but it was gone. I stopped dead in my tracks mere feet away from the tent and glanced behind me.

I didn't want to witness their duel knowing my fate rested upon their swords, understanding I've never seen either of them fight full force, realizing Xander was about to fight without armor against an armored opponent after weeks of being unable to train, going through a loss of strength during it all.

But when fear gripped my chest and affected me stronger than it could with my necklace, I knew I had to go back or else the two men would end up fighting against me instead. If I were left to my own devices, my mind would betray me.

I turned on my heel and sprinted back, gripping my phantom necklace tight as I felt the aches begin, but much more intense. This damned dragon couldn't let me feel anything without that crutch at my chest. Gods, would I always be this dependent on it?

My bare feet kicked up grass and I panted harshly as I reached the end of the Nohrian side. I stopped myself and hid behind a tent, peaking my head out to see the plain. Garon stood closer to the Hoshidans to watch the men fight upwind. I could almost see the necklace in his hand from here.

Ryoma and Xander were already facing each other, presenting their weapons to one another. A purple energy radiated off the prince's weapon, blue lightning wrapped and coiled around the king's. I'd never seen anything like it. Instantly my fear was replaced by wonder as I watched their mingling interest. Faintly from where I stood I could hear them converse.

"I herd rumors that you held a regalia. How fitting it's the one and only Siegfried. I thought your father would have kept it for himself."

"I never thought I'd ever see Raijinto... You have my respect in that regard King Ryoma. I must wonder though, who wields the Fujin Yumi, or will it be without owner for another generation?"

"Prince Takumi has been the first warrior in decades to have the bow form its string and arrow, making him be its new master."

I only ever herd of the legendary weapon once, all I knew was of its sheer power and accuracy and that it took a mind of great focus to wield it. My heart soared knowing my little brother was wielding a legendary weapon. I'd never been so proud in my life.

"Give him my respects when you return home. Alone." Xander spat. Ryoma adjusted his arm.

"Enough pleasantries. Let's get this over with." He sheathed his weapon and Xander did the same. The two bowed to each other and took a step back.

"What are the conditions and reasons of this duel?" Yukimura called out. A cheap, staged feeling came over me with how rehearsed his words sounded. I knew duels had rules and a certain amount of etiquette, but in these times even a child understood that. They were common place between my brothers in which the winner drew first blood. The most interesting were the stories of my father and Garon regularly having duels long ago. I was never told of who won, only that they'd always leave on seemingly good terms. Now I couldn't fathom it.

"I have challenged the king in response to his lack of honor and lack of respect for my father." Xander claimed. "The conditions of defeat are as such: the fight ends when one is unable to continue on, weather it be a loss of consciousness or injury. The winner receives glory, honor, respect, and will take the princess back to their homeland as an added bonus. These terms cannot be disputed once the battle begins." Xander called out.

"Do you agree with these claims?" Yukimura asked.

"I do." Ryoma responded.

"Then continue with your battles." With that, the two bowed and drew their swords, both throwing their sheathes away. The moment the sheathes hit the grass, the king attacked.

His sword slammed against Xander's with a deafening clap of thunder. The energies of the swords mingled together and cracked as they struggled against each other. Xander's stance faltered and Ryoma's sword grew closer to him. He grit his teeth and pushed the king off hastily. He jumped back just as Ryoma raised his sword. A bolt of lightning crashed down and missed Xander by an inch. He rushed at the prince and their weapons locked again.

Xander's eyes hardened and a pulse of visible, purple energy rang through the air, making Ryoma stumble back. He quickly recovered and stabbed forward, nicking the prince's side and drawing blood that pierced through his white shirt. It didn't even faze him. He swiped his weapon to the side and dented the plates at Ryoma's chest. Ryoma jumped back and raised his sword once more. Xander rolled out of the way of another bolt and when he came back up pointed his sword at him. A black thorny streak of what, I could only assume to be magic, struck Ryoma so hard he nearly fell backwards. He bolted towards Xander in a wide circle, missing the rest of Xander's ranged attacks. He jumped up in the air and struck down, Xander blocking it with his sword.

When he landed he faced the prince with a seemingly endless barrage of attacks that Xander couldn't defend fully. His sword was knocked from his hands and the katana hit his collar bone, he dodged away making the next hit only graze his face, causing a cut on the middle of his bottom lip.

He backpedaled away from Ryoma and grabbed his sword, then took a small moment to breathe. Ryoma pointed his sword at him, energy bubbling at it's tip.

"Stand down prince. Your struggle is apparent and I don't want to hurt you further. I'm sure you're still recovering from your previous injuries over the past month, and I would hate for Corrin's last view of you to be one of you in pain."

"I am not standing down... But I do have a request."

"Oh?"

"If I lose against you, I ask that you keep her from me until I am recovered and you allow me to say some sort of good-bye." Gods, maybe I shouldn't be spying.

Ryoma's arm fell, and he approached Xander calmly.

"You think she wants to hear from you?" He asked. Xander's unflinching gaze remained.

"I don't know what she wants of me, except that she wants me to win this."

"Like that matters, you Nohrians have brainwashed her. She isn't herself." Ryoma spat. My chest tightened.

"So because she's changed, instead of accepting it, you claim we've taken her mind captive?" He waited patiently for the response Ryoma never gave. "How disappointing that you are so small minded..." He raised his sword to Ryoma's neck.

Ryoma pushed his sword away and stepped back.

"This whole affair of my father's, was a mistake." He spat.

Ryoma grit his teeth and struck the first blow once again. Xander parried it and bashed his armor again, denting it just enough to cause a break. He jumped back and unleashed an up close attack with his magical energy. Ryoma stumble away. Xander abandoned Ryoma's armor and instead to bring his sword down on an opening in Ryoma's armor at his shoulder. I tensed as I watched the weapon fall, knowing that single hit would do an intense amount of damage. As if he could read my mind, Xander's sword slowed before ultimately changing course to smash in the ground.

In my moment of awe, I hardly noticed when Ryoma raised his sword. I only saw the lightning strike. In a white flash Xander was thrown backwards towards the Nohrian camp and came to a skidding halt on his back. He was left gasping, his sword falling inches away from me. Before I could hide, he flipped over and rolled away from another shock. He grabbed his weapon as he got to his feet, his eyes met mine.

Though slower than before, Xander rushed towards Ryoma, changing course only to dodge his ranged attacks. As he grew closer, the bolts came faster, less accurate, as if Ryoma was becoming frantic. He pedaled back and switched his sword into his other hand. Xander raised his sword up and Ryoma prepared to block, but the moment Xander was mere centimeters from him, he dropped down and slid behind him on his knees. He smacked the flat of his sword against the back of his leg and Ryoma fell to his knees abruptly. Xander got to his feet and spun around. Using that motion, he slammed the hilt of his sword against the back of Ryoma's head.

The king collapsed, and did not get back on his feet.

I watched his fall with sorrow unbound... I didn't want to return home... but I never wanted this...I never wanted to see him so defenseless. In truth, I never wanted to see what he had become. I wanted my old brother back just as much as he wanted the old me back... but no matter how much we wanted it, one change would not fit with the other, and with how we are now... I can see that we wouldn't work as we are now.

But I couldn't let myself feel... not yet. Not until I was in private with my necklace and could accept that my old life has passed on..

Xander didn't even spare time to look at his victory, instead, he grabbed his sheath and put his sword away. He approached his father and was handed something. He walked away from the field and towards me, serious eyes stuck on mine. His white shirt was stained crimson and blackened where he was struck with the electricity, red trickled down from his lip to his chin. He wiped it away with his thumb and stopped in front of me. I looked up innocently.

His stern eyes looked over me in consideration. To my surprise, he presented me my necklace, then put it around my neck carefully. He held out his arm, and I took it without question.

He breathed a sigh of relief as we walked away. I looked up to him, and found him gazing at me. My eyes fell down to his chest and I held my pendant.

What a mess we were. I was this small thing in a dress torn to shreds, drenched in ink, being escorted by a bloody man that towered over me. I let out a stream of air and looked ahead.

"We've much to discuss.


	11. Sashimi and Rice

I would've hoped that Xander and I's walk back to the tent would have been a nervous albeit peaceful one, where we could unwind for a single moment before delving into matters as volatile as ours, but with our current state, we were a sigh to behold, causing the men to question our health at every glance. We simply went on and found refuge in our tent, and inside an ease of mind washed over me the moment our eyes met. I knew things were still tense between us... yet it was merely a speck now. But, within moments of our return, a tiny Hoshidan cleric stumbled inside anxiously, her presence cutting me off before I even got out my first word.

She held her staff close to her body at all times, hiding behind it in a way, as she watched Xander with wide, worried eyes, feebly attempting to speak. She made it past only a few syllables before dropping her head and cringing. Xander moved to get closer, but I placed a hand on his arm to halt him and approached her instead, understanding that she was terrified of him. Who wouldn't be at first glance, but the fact that she was shorter than even me brought up a good reason.

I raised up my shoulders in an act of peace, and she looked up to me wearily. She looked so young... younger than Sakura no doubt, yet she wore the greaves of a soldier. Was she enlisted? She shirked under my stare, and I smiled gently, she softened almost immediately.

"Do you need Prince Xander for a moment?" I asked. I had to wonder why a Hoshidan cleric was here for him and not a Nohrian one...

"Y-yes, Milady." She stuttered with a clumsy nod. I nodded carefully. She reminded me so much of my little sister.

"Can I ask who sent you?"

"Pri-" She shook her head, "K-King Ryoma did, Milady. He asked for me to tell th-the prince, that he sends me to show his respect f-for the Lord Xander, by way of h-healing."

"Ah. Thank you-" I held out the word hoping she'd give me her name.

"Tsubasa." She mumbled.

"Thank you, Tsubasa. Was there anything else he needed?" I asked. She nodded.

"He wishes to see you, Milady." She whispered fearfully. My heart fell. I closed my eyes for a moment.

"D-... Did he specify when he'd need to see me?" I asked with a drawl. I rubbed my sticky, ink-covered fingers together absentmindedly.

"As soon as possible." My shoulders fell, though I tried so dearly to stay positive. Maybe he was going to apologize, or... Gods, I didn't know. I didn't know him anymore. I didn't want to be anywhere near him after this morning. Now in the warm, fading afternoon, he needs me again, when I've not come close to recovering to the blow I've endued today.

"Excuse us, Tsubasa, but could wait outside for just a moment." Xander requested. She bowed hastily and left. I turned to Xander, exhaustion lacing my very soul. I wanted this day to be over... I just want to speak with him, then fall asleep, and leave the next day. I hate these borders, with their lewd guards and terrible memories... I'd rather be nestled far down in Krakenburg, but maybe a version in which the sun shined and the people inside weren't as terrifying.

"Corrin," Xander began, "I don't trust this. He's your brother in heart, and I will always respect what you two have, of course, but our duel ended mere minutes ago, and I don't know what he's thinking after losing you." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, resting his hand at the back of his neck. He watched me considerately."Forgive me, I know I shouldn't say those things to you-"

"No... no, it's alright. I think I need your input involving him now. But, maybe once I return." I looked down to where the ink stained my dress. I held out the base of the garment and saw my still dirtied hands. I looked back up to Xander, "Do you think I'd have time to change before I left? I... I really don't want to go back out in this again."

Xander nodded, sympathy speckling the corners of his eyes, "Forgive me, I shouldn't have said you couldn't before. I don't know what I was thinking."

"To make up for it, would you do me the honor of tying the back of my next dress?"

"Of course."

I retrieved the clothing hastily, fearing Ryoma's inevitable impatience. I snatched up a deep-blue thing with yellow accents in the sewn in designs on it's sleeves and base, its two layers of fabric being the thinnest bundle in all the dresses I'd brought. With Xander facing away, I quickly slipped out of the ruined one and changed into the new garment. I held the fabrics close to my chest so they wouldn't fall.

"I'm ready." I called out, a hint of nervousness in my tone. My bated breath nearly hitched when his hands brushed against my bare back. He worked almost slowly as he tied and tightened the various strings that would keep anything from slipping out of the top of the dress. I knew from the amount of cleavage bursting from my chest, this was an item Camilla must have picked out for me with dubious intent in mind.

After a moment of tightening, Xander's fingers grazed my neck as he finished the last of his ties, making me give a sharp exhale against my will. My face reddened instantly.

"Is it too tight?" He asked. I shook my head, grateful he misread my slip-up. I scurried off to grab the single bit of lace I'd brought on the trip once I felt my hair annoyingly stick to my neck. I began to put my silver locks up, only to feel large, warm hands gently lay over top mine. "May I?" He asked. My heart stopped. I slid my hands out from under his to hold them together, picking under my thumbnail nervously.

He racked his fingers through my hair, then gathered the strands he missed, before tying it into a snug ponytail high on the back of my head.

"You're almost faster than Felecia." I commented with a small smile. He chuckled, and I could feel him step away from me. I turned around, trying to cover my cleavage nonchalantly.

"When Elise's mother passed on, I decided to take full responsibility of her until she was old enough to be on her own. With that, I ended up fixing her hair nearly everyday until she was 12. It was easy when she was a toddler, since it was just past her ears, but once it passed her back, I felt rather hopeless..." he sighed fondly, "One day, my giving up on braiding and whatever else I could think of, turned into one of the only thing she'd ask me to do. It was just pigtails with lace in them, but it meant so much to her that she'd often ask me to do it for her myself as she got older." His smile was one filled with both sorrow, and happiness. It nearly washed away the weariness in his eyes.

I looked down with a steaming sadness coming over me.

"Those memories have yet to grey in my mind." He reassured me. "I think they'll always bring a smile to my face." I glanced up to see that his grin had only deepened; I could practically see the scene he was reminiscing just from the expression on his face. He looked nearly peaceful, but with the softest of sighs, he turned to look at the opening of the tent, smile fading off to be replaced with that of a stern look. "I shouldn't make that girl wait any longer." He turned away from me and began to walk. "I wouldn't doubt that she has other things to do." He glanced to me once he neared the entrance then stopped, beginning a sudden speech,

"Many nights ago, I walked in on you fully transformed, though sleeping. The soldiers say they never saw you rampage." He looked down to my pendant. "Which means your growing some hold over yourself when changed. Or at least, I would think." He found my eyes once again. "I know how uncomfortable it makes you feel, but if you can control yourself fully as a dragon, and change at will now, I want you to have a plan for today with that in mind. I..." He sighed quietly, "I'm not saying your brother would do anything but... If he does anything rash, or you get scared, please, transform and roar, run, anything. I don't know if he did something to you this morning, but if something he's doing is ever enough to force the wings from your back -especially considering your and his previous relation- make a scene. Do whatever you can to get my attention, and I will rush to your side, without falter."

"I'll be all right," I doubt he'd be the one putting the shuriken to my throat this time. Besides... I had it coming. He had no reason to tell Saizo to stop, for all he knew I would've killed him. I lashed out against him and- Gods... why didn't he stop him? "I promise you, I'll be just fine." I murmured. My stomach churned at the memory of this morning. The ease that had shimmied into my chest when Xander and I arrived was quickly thwarted by my irrational thinking.

"When I'm finished being healed, I'll be waiting as close to their camp as I can."

"Stay in the tent. You need rest." I asked.

"I'll be fine."

"Please. For my sake." I pleaded. Those circles under his eyes have only grown worse since I noticed them in Nohr. It makes me wonder if he's been sleeping well... And would those sleepless nights have been about me, whilst I dreamt without issue? No, I can't begin my self-loathing again... I'm not heartless, it's just that my demons only follow me in the daylight. His seemed to never leave. "Have trust in me, Ryoma even."

"Corrin, I just fought against him for you. What man wouldn't be suspicious that he requests you so soon afterwards."

"Then trust that I can handle him-" I couldn't. Xander could hardly, so in what world would I be able to? "-and promise me you'll rest, if it only meant you were just standing in here."

"Please be careful, little princess." He turned and left.

I shuffled my feet, hoping that the sound of Ryoma's voice, whispering that same name, would fade from my mind. I could only force it down to a small murmur. Sadly, it wasn't enough to allow me to build up the necessary courage needed to face him without fear. Even so, I walked out into the orangeing late afternoon, focusing on the warm breeze enveloping me to shoulder off my inner chill.

The thick grass stroked my bare feet gently, the smell of it and the slightest hint of cherry blossoms floated up into my senses calmly. The trees had bloomed early this year, giving my warm birthday a burst of pink to go with it, but with fall and winter coming soon, they'll be even more brilliant than when I left. Mother had said it was a good omen of things to come... Orochi claimed that it meant I'd be fertile for my new husband. I didn't believe either of them then, but now, I'd like to have hope that at least Mother was right..

Hopefully, when I return to Nohr I'll be able to give my offerings and finally be at some peace with her and Father's death. I pray that my siblings are at peace with this whole catastrophe, or that they at least handled it better than I did.

With a longing sigh, I passed the invisible threshold into the Hoshidan camp, a nervousness filling me up to the brim, and causing my walk to slow to a crawl. It gave the soldiers more time to watch me with their suspicious eyes as I moved. After I passed an endless row of canvas, I finally saw the tent of my brother's. He stepped out suddenly, and met my eyes in surprise. He must have been just setting out to find me.

I picked up my pace, and when I grew near, I saw the tips of his brow hair curling at the back of his neck, and no farther.

"Your hair." I said in shock once I faced him. He reached back and twisted a short piece between his fingers absentmindedly. I'd not seen in short since I was little.

"It got in my way. I thought it best to cut it..." He responded, almost seeming to be uncomfortable under my gaze. He motioned for me to enter the tent and I complied wearily.

It was empty of people, though the table still stood. The map was gone, and instead there were two chairs and a meal in front of both. Sashimi and rice -with a bottle of sake sitting next to one of the bowls- presented themselves to me. My stomach growled at the sight, I'd not had a Hoshidan meal in ages, and I'd not eaten at all today.

Ryoma signaled to the chair free of alcohol, and I took a seat curiously. I couldn't brush off how odd it was he wanted to dine with me now after everything. He sat down across from me and I could see his anxiousness.

"Ah-..." He choked out a syllable, only to bit it back and start again, "I thought... we should talk over dinner." I folded my hands in my lap nervously.

"If it's about my place in Nohr, then I don't want to be here." I muttered.

"You know where I stand." He replied sternly, loudness etching his words. I cringed and leaned back in my seat, trying to move away from him. I watched him with slight fear. Somehow his words and harshness these past days, hurt even more than Garon's boot. My previous fearlessness was gone now, and with it being just us, I felt more vulnerable than before, but I still choked out my reply, knowing I wouldn't stand down to him over this matter.

"As do you."

He clenched his fists and tightened his jaw. He growled and slammed down his fist. "Why did you want him to win!?" He blurted out. I was taken aback, but recovered, albeit slowly. How would I ever answer without worsening his anger? I decided it was best to tell him the truth. He deserves it, and if he does something rash, I can always leave.

I took in a deep breath, and watched him softly, fear lacing my gaze. "I'm.... I don't-" I stopped and looked down when his eyes hardened, "How you've treated me these past few days influenced that... b-but, even if you hadn't said what you have, I'd still have vouched for him. It's my duty to remain at Xander's side, even if Garon doesn't care for me, if I'm to be a queen that can help her people, than I need to work with him, always."

"If you were bound by duty, or honor, you'd have wanted to return with me." He spat.

"You're right." I whispered.

"What?" he replied in shock.

"You're right... if I were bound to something like that, I would have. But you must understand that I'm bound by two things, those being my ties to my family, and to Xander's, then l-love." I looked up to him. "I love Hoshido so much... It will always have a soft place in my heart, and then you, and everyone else is there. You act as if I've abandoned you, but you don't know what I've been through... When Garon told me to forget my ties with you, I let my freedom in Nohr wash away instead. I've not truly set foot outside since I left Hoshido, and I did that for you, for our family. I can still be apart of you when I'm away, can't I?"

"What binds you to Xander's family then?" He sneered, disregarding everything I'd said. I furrowed my brows. My pendant exploded in heat. I was finished with this.

"The fact that understands what I'm going through! Who gave me the choice to stay with him or go back?! He did! And that's not all!" I yelled. I stood up from my chair. "He helped me when I left, he snapped me out of my selfishness, and he helped weaken the blows I've endured. Ryoma, I had to leave my home, then hear than my parents-" I choked on my words, "-that both my parents ended their own lives, before I even made it past the border. Him, and his family held me when I cried. They helped me against Garon when Kaze was involved with us. They are the only reason I've not snapped, that I've not crushed this necklace and let myself go with that demon scratching beneath my skin... or done anything worse." I stopped and my voice grew soft, "Now that I think about it, it's a wonder, really, that I've handled it all as best as I did... and it's thanks to them," My eyes hardened and my tone grew harsh, "and you know what, it's thanks to them, and those others who helped me as well. Those people aren't as cold as you think, and I've seen it with my own eyes!"

"They stole you from me!" He yelled, coming to his feet, "How isn't that cold!? He could've easily refused Garon, so could that damn child!"

"Don't you dare act as if you know their situations regarding this!" I growled. "You know nothing of what happened."

"I know that that prince is some monster who got interested when Sumeragi told Garon of your hidden talents!"

"No! He never wanted me as a wife! Neither did Leon! But Leon accepted it, and ended up embracing it! Xander, he-" I let out a trembling breath, "-He refused it until he was forced to take me. He never wanted this."

"Why not then?" He taunted.

"You don't have the right to know." I spat. "I'm leaving. Have a good night Brother, and thank you for the food." I slid away from the table and walked to the entrance.

"If you leave this place tonight, I'll never forgive you." He growled.

My breath hitched, and my heart fell. I slowly turned to him. His eyes were smoldering.

"What?"

"If you go, you can forget us ever being siblings."

"R-Ryoma-" I whimpered. Tears burned my eyes in tandem with the shaking of my hands.

"You know what, just leave." He said sharply, pouring himself a cup of Sake. I held my hands at my chest, trying to shield myself from the attack, but it slithered past my defensives and stuck deep inside me. I couldn't loose him, not after I lost Mother and Father. I couldn't bare to have him hate me.

"Wait, p-please, let me stay. I'm sorry, please-" Tears streamed down my reddened cheeks. My voice grew higher, "please don't abandon me." I half sobbed. I squeezed my eyes shut and held my head down as I sniffled and hiccupped like a small child. I brought my hands up to my face and covered my eyes with my arms. I let out the smallest, most helpless, cry.

A single hand scooped my wrists into their grasp and pulled my arms from covering me. Ryoma let go of me, and I held myself tightly. He cupped my face and forced me to look up at him. His thumbs wiped away my tears and he watched me with a calm look. A small smile tugged at his lips.

"Sit with me." He murmured. I sniffled and nodded. He led me to my chair then leaned over to grab the bottle of Sake. He filled my cup and placed the bottle beside me. He returned to his seat and lifted his cup in some honorable silent toast before drinking. With tears still dropping to my lap, I did the same, downing the entire thing in one quick chug. It hit me hard, and the taste burned my very soul, but I still poured myself another cup with the grace I'd been taught in serving drinks in Hoshido, though it was always with tea kettles.

I sat the bottle down and wiped my eyes with my arm, my hand just barely grazing my wet cheeks. I took another, much smaller drink this time and sniffled. I put my elbows on the table and folded my hands together.

"S-so, how is it back home?" I questioned breathlessly. My eyes were stuck on my reflection in the china. Tears stained my reddened face, and the slightest bit of ink cupped the peak of my cheeks. I looked so vulnerable.

I took another sip and looked away to watch Ryoma stare at me, consider me, before smiling softly.

"Hinoka has started her training again."

"Wh-which part of it?" I question, knowing it either meant she was becoming determined as a warrior, or distraught as a princess.

"Her work with the spear and Pegasus. Sakura has been spending her time in the temples recently, and Takumi's working with the bow, as always."

"I heard he obtained the Fujin Yumi!" I said with glee bubbling in my words. He hummed with a nod.

"Yes, just before I left he did. His aim is impeccable... and he'd love for you to watch him sometime." His eyes grew dark at the last statement. No, no, we can't get back onto that topic... I don't want to anger him anymore.

"D-did they have any messages for me?" I asked, taking another drink to push off my anxiety. I refilled my cup. He watched me with a dangerous curiosity, before taking a small sip of his own.

"Yes. I had them each write something for you."

"Really?" I cried, I clapped my hands together softly, "How sweet!"

"I also brought you what your mother had left." He added. The air was knocked from me. I had forgotten about her final letters completely.

"O-oh." I cooed. Another drink. I felt lighter, and it was easier to not focus on his strange looks or the grief unburrowing itself from my heart.

Ryoma got up and grabbed a wooden box with the Hoshidan crest carved on the outside. He placed it in my lap and I examined it.

"Everyone's letters are inside. I only gave you a few of what Mikoto had written, as most of them were some string of symbols written over and over. I gave you one of those, and the one with something added. Recently, we also found another letter from her... It was meant for you."

I nodded and sat the item back down in my lap.

Another drink and I'm feeling tingles up my spine and in my lips.

We eat together, and the cool of night rolls in, with my only notice being when I'm shivering and the goosebumps tickle my skin. I've finished my fourth glass whilst Ryoma is just finishing his first, we both refill our cups. He only watches, as I pour the remnants of the bottle into mine, never once taking a sip from his glass. A dim surprise washed over me when the final drop fell, but I quickly remembered that it was only half full when we began... at least I think.

Another drink; we both talk of various things for what seems like hours, thought it felt as if I were doing most of the speaking. With my nervousness not only thrown away, thanks to the Sake, it was crumpled and burned, making it easier to hold a conversation, no matter how one-sided. I tell him about Nohr and what I've done there. How Camilla tailors my clothes and how risquÃ© they all are, being sure to disclose my distaste for the dress I was wearing in particular. Soon, I somehow get on the topic of Garon, and I'm spilling every thing he's done.

Another drink and I tell him how he wanted to hang Kaze.

Another drink and I tell him how he whipped Xander.

Another drink and I'm telling him how he had Iago hurt me whilst Silas and Xander watched, and how if he hadn't showed up when he did, I'd have been dead yesterday.

Tears rolling down my cheeks I talk of how painful it was when he nearly broke my ankle, and how annoying Iago's burns are to clean and manage.

He asks me about what Xander did when Iago was hurting me, and I tell him how he was restrained, but held me so tight when it was over.

I finish my cup and he slides me his untouched one. I free my hair from it's confines and messily wrap the lace on my wrist.

Another drink.

My whole body throbs when I swallow. My head is swimming. I'm not nervous or sad but the tears are still slipping from my eyes. It's all so involuntary.

He's watching me with a burning stare as he asks me about Xander, his eyes flick to my neck for a split second.

With a smile I'm revealing how much I like being with him. How I once kissed him, "On the lips" I say with the slightest of slurs sticking to my tongue. I admit that he's the most handsome thing I'd ever seen, and that I'm in love, without a doubt.

Seconds later I'm half sobbing as I explain Silas' offer to me and how he kissed me against a tree. I point to my neck and explain he gave it to me, though I wished it were Xander. I go into our fight, our fallout, and finally my confession to him. In closing, I explain how we were going to talk about of it tonight and fix everything.

Another drink. He opens his mouth to reply, a hand sliding across the table to me, when outside I hear a man yell to Ryoma that he has a visitor.

"I'm busy." He replied.

"Sire- Ah! Wait! You can't go in there!"

Xander entered inside with a calm face and a clean shirt. His hair was tied back into a ponytail, with some of his bangs free from his arrangement. He bowed.

"Good evening King Ryoma, Corrin."

"Good evening, Xander." I replied cheerfully. He watched me for only a second more before approaching Ryoma, he stood up. Xander tightened his ponytail, and I sat back and watched the two.

"What is it you need, Prince?" Ryoma questioned sharply.

"I believed it to be getting late, so I wanted to retrieve my wife. The two of us need to discuss the fact that we will be leaving tomorrow morning."

"Really? I thought your group would stay at least one more day to rest or pack."

"We'll be packing in later. My father will come to say his goodbyes in the morning. As for us, we'll need to say them now." He held out his hand, and Ryoma shook it hastily. The king went around the table and helped me stand. I struggled to stay on my feet, but he put a hand at my waist and stabled me. I felt so dizzy.

I finished off my drink before anyone could refuse me and held my box loosely in my hands.

"Thank you for the food, brother." I said slowly. He smiled and nodded.

"Thank you, so much, for staying with me tonight. I'll see you again soon, I swear to you."

"I can't wait." I said without thought. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed tight. I pulled away. "T-tell everyone I miss them." I stuttered, the drawl from my drinks heavier than ever. He nodded, smirking almost.

"I will. Have a good night."

"Night." I said shortly.

I shuffled around him and took Xander's arm.

"Good evening." Xander muttered. He led my stumbling self all the way back to our own tent, patient when I had to stop to rest when my light headedness got the best of me. Never once did he ask about my odd behavior, though I guessed he was waiting till we were in private, but I wouldn't have been able to listen, as on our walk back my stomach slowly began to cramp. By the time we were "home," my abdomen was attacking me with the most excruciating of pains I'd felt in my life.

"Corrin?" Xander questioned once I slowly began to sit on the floor, still grasping his arm. I let go of him and fell hard onto my bottom, my box tumbling out of my hands in the process. My breaths were quick; just as sharp as the pains shooting up my body. Saliva filled my mouth. I hugged myself and rolled my lips inward after biting out a slurred request,

"Bucket." The terrible feeling tickled the back of my throat and I covered my mouth tightly. I herd Xander rush out of the tent. I shivered as I tried to force the horrible action down. I could only keep it at bay for a moment, but it was just enough time for Xander to bolt in and place a small basin in front of me. I held onto it's sides and wretched forward, my hair falling in front of my face for only a second before he held it back, saving it from a terrible fate.

When I was finished, I leaned back weakly, my whole body trembling as I looked at the bleak contents of my mistakes.

"How many glasses did Ryoma give you?" Xander asked gently, letting go of my hair only to stroke it and give me some comfort.

"I-It was S-Sake." I mumbled. He hummed in response.

"I know. But it can still do a lot." He said with the gentleness of a warm breeze. I took in a few sharp breaths and held the sides of the basin.

"I-I had six." I whispered. I lurched forward, and he held my hair back once more. When I came back up again, my eyes were watering and the pain had only worsened. He didn't let go of my hair this time, but rubbed my back softly.

"Did you want those drinks?" He asked.

"It made me not be sad anymore." I blubbered.

"Why where you sad in the first place?"

"He said he wouldn't be my b-brother if I had left, and it h-hurt really bad. So I stayed, and I remembered from my first wedding that alcohol makes things go away."

He sighed softly. "Why did you want to leave?"

"He wouldn't stop talking about how I chose Nohr over Hoshido. This morning when he did it, he had made me so angry that I transformed, a-and it scared everyone. S-Saizo put a shuriken to my throat, and Ryoma d-didn't do anything to stop him."

My throat grew tight, though it wasn't due to me being choked up. I lurched forward violently and soon learned that no matter how many times I vomited, the pain in my stomach wouldn't fall back.

"When is this going to end." I whimpered after half an hour. Xander rubbed the back of my neck tenderly.

"Once the alcohol is gone, I promise you." He had said with pain lacing his own voice.

Two hours passed and though I was free of any food or drink, the excruciating cramps remained. The taste of bile fermented my mouth and tears streamed down my face, the urge to retch always stuck at my throat. I could hardly breath. Suddenly, the dwindling strength in me ran out, and I collapsed. Xander grabbed hold of me before I hit the floor and held me against him.

I was reduced to moving only to rid myself of stomach acid as my body turned against itself. Xander refused to let me lay down, making me stuck to leaning against him, writhing, trembling, as he did what he could to relax me in the short breaks from expelling whatever my stomach could find. It never seemed to end.

When night broke into the dim morning light, I was sobbing with exhaustion as vomiting became my only source of freedom from the agony. All I wanted was to escape the pain, but the buzz from my drinking was gone and replaced with a pounding headache; I was stuck to bare full witness to the final hours of my pain.

But finally, as the morning light became bright and painful, the vomiting ceased, and I was left with an a full-body ache that rendered me incapacitated. After ten minutes of my freedom, Xander deemed it time to let me go.

"I'm going to lay you down now." He whispered. I couldn't respond as my voice was gone, and I had not the strength to even nod. I was limp in his arms as he shifted and laid me down, tilting my head to the side for good measure. I let out a long breath and closed my eyes. I had only a minute of rest before a soldier's deep voice entered the room, his feet scraped against the canvas floor, armor chinking and rattling as he stopped. "Sire. King Garon requests your and Lady Corrin's presence."

"Now?" Xander said with exasperation.

"Word traveled of her condition, and he's become worried that she may be contagious."

"Tell him it's only food poisoning, and that she's too fragile to move. Ask him to meet me here instead."

The soldier's armor rattled again then slowly faded off in the distance. My ears began to ring as my headache worsened, sleep simply wouldn't grace me with it's embrace. As a cry for help, or release from the exhaustion, I gave a small squeak like groan. A comforting hand rested at my forehead. Xander sighed and let his hand fall to the side of my face, his thumb rubbing small circles against my cheek. With the last of my strength, I leaned into his touch.

The moment ended much too soon.

I peaked open an eye when Xander left me. The room was too bright and I instantly shut my eyes, but not without glimpsing Garon with a cloth over his nose and mouth.

"Well?" He asked with a gruff and muffled voice.

"Like I told the soldier, food poisoning."

"How? What we brought was nonperishable."

"She ate with King Ryoma at his request. I'm guessing whatever it was he gave her wasn't cooked properly."

The Sashimi... it must not have been prepared correctly.

"A messenger informed me that he was ill as well." Garon said with accusation in his voice. "We are not bringing any more foreign illness into Nohr. She'll stay here until she's better."

"Father, she's not contagious. He's ill because they ate the same foods." He sighed, "She's in a very fragile state right now; her body has even conjured up a fever."

"Fevers mean contagion."

"If it was contagious, it's already too late. She's been near you, me, and everyone in this damned camp, but none of us are sick. I've been with her all night and I'm perfectly fine, and you know how sickly I can be whenever we travel to Hoshido. Trust in me father when I say that if she were contagious, I'd be doing much worse than her right now."

Garon tapped his foot roughly, "Then we're leaving now." He paused before beginning again hesitantly. "I'll send someone for your things, as I'm sure you'll want to tend to her." His voice turned to one filled of a shy disgust, "I'd suggest you bring a troth of some sort for the ride..."

"Yes, and thank you." He said breathlessly. Garon left and I croaked out Xander's name with a rasp so intense I was nearly inaudible. I'd never make it in those carriages, I'd rather be left behind than vomit again. My shivering returned.

He laid a hand on my abdomen and took on a quit whispery tone, "We're going to have to go now. I need to pick you up." I shook my head. "I'll be careful not to move you too much, I promise."

He slid his arms under my knees and back then hoisted me up slowly. I moaned in discomfort as my stomach began to ache again. The trip made me close to beginning another bought of vomiting, but he'd halt and let me recover when I'd tense. On it went till we entered a cold area where footsteps echoed endlessly.

"Ah~ Prince Xander-" A familiar voice cooed. "Oh! Woah-" the soft spoken tone shifted to a deeper more bruiting one, but quickly regenerated, "Did you tire out your poor wife? You know~.... if it were me I could~"

"Miss Charlotte, there's no need for your tone. Your associate, Benny, let your secret slide the other day."

"W-what? But I-" She let out a squeak then sighed. "Gods be damned." She said forcefully. "Fine, fine, it's a ruse, but don't look at me like I don't have any dignity. I've got a better reason then half the women trying to get into your expensive pants." She said roughly. She was lucky I was on my deathbed, "Hey," she began slyly, "If I can't be some concubine for you, would you at least pass it on that I'm up for marriage to the higher up men in your services,.. or maybe even some nobles?"

"The most I could ever do would recommend you to be ranked up past National Defense, but we need the power right now."

"Pah, you need the pawns who can die. I know what we are to you nobles: sticks that don't matter when they're snapped, I mean, if you were out there and died, it'd be a big deal, meanwhile, two of my friends just kicked the bucket in the past month and they hardly even got a funeral, let alone recognition. You'd get a whole damn festival of life."

"We need every man, or woman, on these borders keeping the rouge faceless from invading Hoshido and going past the safety lines in Nohr."

"Me and Benny are the best at our jobs, Sire. We've been at it for 4 years now, please, promote us. We can even prove to be indispensable to your personal forces I assure you. And the pay is a big plus, getting money straight from your own pockets is an honor, hmm?"

"If you are so confident, than you'd need to show me personally."

"Really?! Let me grab Benny and my axe!" She said with excitement. Xander sighed.

"Not right now. I need to take care of my wife. Come to Krakenburg's east merchant checkpoint and request me. I'll battle against you both personally to gauge your skill."

"Aw, what? But that's so far away... We'll never get the days off to travel."

He mulled it over before replying, "Go tell your post master that you and your associate can join us back. If he has an issue, tell him he can bring it up with me, we'll be in the fourth carriage back. Be sure to tell him of my wife's condition, and that I'm rather busy tending to her, so I may not be very polite in having to deal with his doubt."

"Oh gods! Thank you! And very smart on the intimidation factor. Oh, and... could I ask that you keep my secret- unlike Benny?" She muttered.

"I'll respect it. Good day."

"Good day, Lord Xander." She cooed like a songbird, "I hope your little ball of joy gets better soon!"

I wanted to vomit again.

Xander took careful steps and eventually, I felt him lie me face down on the familiar hard wood of the carriage, one arm strung outwards. The vehicle jostled and my hand brushed against Xander as he entered. Once he was done, he supported the finger tips of my outstretched arm with his own, as if he were timidly holding my hand. I slid mine up until I could feel his warm palms, and he encased my small hands in his.

I herd something hit against the floor and slid towards me. I cracked open an eye to see a little bucket on the floor next to my face. Xander gave the item carrier thanks and I herd the carriage door close. Xander let go of my hands to closed the curtains on the small windows, and we were bathed in a soft darkness.

"T-thank you." I whispered. He hushed me and started rubbing my clammy hands.

"It will be a little while till we set off, but you need to be asleep for the journey."

"W-we need t-to talk." I whimpered.

"Shhh, it's alright, we'll have all the time in the world. Just rest."

"S-sorry-" I whimpered, but I could finish it, I couldn't tell him what I'd admitted to Ryoma without ever meaning to. Gods, I wish I had had enough drinks to make me forget it, all of it. From what he said and how he looked, to how he had me wrapped around his finger with once single statement. He ruined me with those words, knowing he'd get his way. He watched me drink myself to being red-faced and did nothing.

I walked into that tent partially grasping that he had changed but... the moment I saw him... I couldn't accept it. My big brother... the man who basically fathered me, who would've killed me if I even looked at alcohol, was standing before me with dangerous eyes and handing me a cup of Sake fully knowing what I'd do in my condition... From afar I see how terrible a situation that whole encounter was... but... how can I ever think that he would have done anything?

But his eyes... I couldn't describe it, couldn't fathom what he was thinking when he stared at me though all my ramblings. Was it Satisfaction? Pride? Hurt? Lust? Gods, all of it, all of it mingled together and if I were sober I would have run sobbing back to Xander for fear that my brother would have done something to me. But I don't know what. I was so vulnerable, I could've been so easily over powered if he had tried to kidnap and run off with me. Would he dishonor their duel so much?

What was he thinking? What was he planning? Why did he do it? Why did he let me drink? Why did he just watch?

I don't want to think that he's becoming some monster, but if I brush off the possibility like I did... things could get so much worse in the future. What does me knowing even matter if he can control me with the snap of his fingers. He knows what to say, what to threaten... and with it, I'm helpless to him... and he knows it.

I let out a sob and held Xander's hand as tight as my sickness would allow. He hushed me gently, and I felt him stroke my hair.

"This will pass, my little princess, just give it time." He murmured.

Gods, if only he knew.

 


	12. The Waters of Confession and Blood

My dreams were a fluttering amount of fabric with letters flitting in and out of sight. In my ears Mother and Orochi cooed and chided over a boy I hardly knew. Calloused fingers ran up my arms and traced every goose bump with a shared intent I held behind my teeth. Pain and hate bloomed from my chest, and as loud and clear as a crash of thunder, a man called out to me with a name only one used.

**"Little Princess."**

My eyes snapped open to see a wooden-like wall and I jumped when feeling the warm hand at my shoulder.

"Little princess, we're going to give the horses a break for today, it's time for you to wake up." Xander explained quietly. Carefully, I rolled over, giving him a drowsy expression with it. My body throbbed, and I let out a soft groan. He put gentle hand on my forehead, only to remove it as if I were a burning teakettle.

He wiped his palms against his pants, then opened the carriage door and stepped out. He slipped his arms under me and, without effort, picked me up. I gripped the fabric around my stomach tightly and sighed against him as the movements jostled my sensitive stomach.

"How are you feeling?" He asked as he walked from our vehicle. I closed my eyes, shielding myself from the horrid view of the sunset when my head's familiar pounding returned. My only reply to him was the shake of my head, which elicited a small puff of air to hit my cheek. I peaked open an eye out of curiosity.

He let out a stressful sigh and looked ahead. Seriousness and worry cradled his features so dominantly I feared the lines in the corners of his eyes would engrave themselves further. The expression brought out the circles darkening under his brown orbs.

They flicked down and caught my dazed stare. I hastily closed my eyes and tilted my head away from his chest. I tensed as I felt my stomach growl painfully. I frowned, as the idea of food entering my mind only made me throb more. I let out a sharp breath as a sliver of an ache in my abdomen returned to me. I gripped the fabrics pooling at my stomach tightly. I didn't want another night of vomiting. I couldn't handle it, not with the fever boiling painfully behind my eyes.

"Excuse me~ Pardon~ Eh-" An angered growl destroyed the daintiness of the voice, "Don't you dare touch me! Move!" Charlotte's creamy to spikey voice rattled through the air. "Sire! Lord Xander!" I hesitantly cracked open an eye as Xander halted. The blonde guard, accompanied with a rather bruiting man sporting blonde hair shaved cleanly at the sides, bowed, him keeping his intimidating glare one me.

"Yes?" Xander asked, a hint of annoyance in his tone. Charlotte smiled and clasped her hands together.

"Benny and I both just wanted to thank you for the opportunity and for the free ride here."

"Yes." The man, I assumed to be Benny, growled.

"Oh; as an extra show of appreciation, we thought we'd give you a small gift too."

"We technically just grabbed it from one of the carriages." Benny added as he held out a bar of soap. Charlotte laughed nervously.

"It's the thought that counts." She hit her comrade lightly in the stomach, "Sorry it's not all fancy, but something's better than nothing, and I'm sure she's not had time to wash after her illness." She shrugged, "We know this area well, and there's a little lake to the south, just a little ways off the road. Surely you can take the time to clean her up." She said begrudgingly. Xander took the bar and shifted to be able to hold me with the back of one of his hands.

"Is she alright?" Benny asked with the crossing of his arms. Xander glanced down to me, his soft gaze caressing my face before it hardened to look back to the guards.

"She has a fever, but she'll be fine by tomorrow no doubt." He said matter-of-factly.

"She's not eaten yet has she?"

"No."

"I know a special broth that would help her through any pains and feed her. If you wouldn't mind, I could make it."

Xander's standoffishness softened ever so slightly.

"That would be appreciated, thank you, Benny."

Benny bowed and left. Charlotte gave a small goodbye and showed me an unfitting look of compassion before leaving. Xander sighed and glanced down at me.

"You're going to have to eat and wash before you go back to sleep." He said softly, walking towards the woods. My heart fell. Gods, don't tell me he intended to help me with it all... I doubted him until I herd the soft whisper of running water not far off

"Xander-" I croaked, face reddening, "-can I wait till I've more strength?"

"This may be our only stop this trip."

"Let me travel on my own." I said hastily, the scent of fresh water hit my nose. He halted and some relief came to me.

"Can you walk?" He asked.

"Y-yes." My scratchy voice replied weakly. Truly, I'd no inkling of an idea if I could even move an arm, let alone walk, but I'd rather push through than accept the alternative...

"Brace yourself." He muttered as he slowly sat me onto my feet. My legs trembled as I put my full weight on them. My stance gave out and I grabbed onto Xander for support. He quickly placed his hands at my waist to steady me. "Corrin-"

"I'm fine. Just-" I let out a slow breath, "Just give me a moment." He nodded and held me as I did my best to muster up my strength. Once I felt ready, I slipped my hand under his and retrieved our thoughtful "gift" from the guards. He loosened his grasp on me, and I took an experimental step away from him. I was stable, but I'd have to be careful.

I turned to him, "I'll come find you when I'm done."

"I know you're struggling, Corrin. Your face is red from the effort," I gripped the soap so tightly I feared I'd break it in half from the realization of how clueless this poor soul was. But, truthfully, I was struggling. It felt as if my legs would give out at any moment. They shook so intensely I felt as if an earthquake was breaking up a storm inside me. "Let me stay nearby in case something happens." He offered.

"I'll be alright, I promise you."

He considered me a moment before giving that worried sigh always in his throat.

"May I send a female soldier to check on you?"

I nodded, giving into his fretful nature, "Alright."

After a short moment of hesitance and shuffling, he pulled off his shoes without warning and held them out to me. I stepped back, raising my hands in utter confusion. His ears reddened.

"I-" His breath caught in his throat. He coughed and put a hand to the back of his neck, "You're barefoot. You're feet will get dirty." He muttered with the nervous look of a shy suitor. I turned the corners of my lips down to withhold the smile forcing past my defenses. I rolled my lips inward and took his offer, giving him a small nod, then waved him off. 

I watched him retreat to the road and caught the smallest glimpse of hands covering his face. I let out a laugh and slowly turned to the lake. I smiled ear to ear as I thought of times passed. Gods, if only mother and Orochi were here... I'd have loved to hear their banters about him.

Hope bloomed in my chest. I could always go back to Hoshido when Xander is king. I wouldn't have to go just to see Ryoma either. I could always go to visit the others instead- but my joy wilted as I remembered the cold stares and unwelcoming air from those I'd grown up with. Would those in Shisaragi be the same?

I forced the thought from my mind and carefully walked to the edge of the lake. Fish jumped and splashed in its not so clear waters. I leaned in closer and examined the surface, it looked almost clean, though it smelled of fish... Gods, don't let me get sick again.

I held my nose and sat Xander's shoes onto a rock. I checked behind me for anyone, then stripped down. I shuffled awkwardly into the waters and contemplated all other options once I felt its chilled embrace around my calves. I clenched my fists as I stared at the restless fish. I took in three quick breaths as I gained my confidence then ran forward. The water smacked against my waist then, all at once, the rocky bottom disappeared, and I fell completely under.

In a panic I let out a cry that went nowhere under the dark waters. I flailed and quickly pulled myself up and swam back to solid ground. I popped my head up and let out a cry of distress as I scrambled back to the edge of the freezing lake. I rubbed my arms and coughed up water as I tried to recover. My nostrils burned and goosebumps covered me entirely.

"Damn! I saw that, are you okay?" Charlotte's panting and bruiting voice smacked through the air. Letting out a cry of pure shock, I hide behind a rock, facing away from her.

"Y-y-yes, I'm fine." I said with chattering teeth. Of all people, she was the one sent to me?!

"I'd forgotten to mention how it drops off like that, sorry."

I rolled my eyes, "Sure you did." I snapped, the cold chilling my heart, "Thank you."

She let out a small sound of confusion. She walked in front of me, hands on her hips. I cried out and scrambled to the other side of the rock, crouching down so she could just barely see above my shoulders. My face reddened with embarrassment.

"Listen," She began,

"This is not the time-"

"I get that we got off on the wrong foot-"

"Wrong foot?" I furrowed my eyebrows, "You openly told me you were going to seduce my husband, then offered yourself as a concubine!" I reminded her. It felt odd referring to him as my husband so freely...

Charlotte set her jaw. "Yes, I know. But I've my reasons, I was hopeless, I'd nothing else to do."

"What do you mean?" I questioned. What other reason could she have? She sighed.

"My parents," She looked down, "They've very little money, and I... I just want to support them. I want to help them be free from poverty. I don't want those damned nobles to spit at them and kick them aside with their fancy boots, I want them to be those nobles. But the only way is for me to marry one, and by the gods, I'm getting their support one way or another." She looked back up to me. "That day you came across, I'd not been being paid my cut that month, my family was out of food, my father was ill." She sighed, "I never try to go after those who are married, but... I didn't know what to do." She held out her hands, "I saw how little you cared for that man and saw my chance. I decided I'd get something from him, no matter what I'd have to do personally." She crossed her arms, "I was seconds away from following you both outside, but Benny forced me to take his pay and saved me from doing it."

"Why did you try it again?"

"I saw how cold you both were still, so, I thought I could make it all work for myself, but when I offered myself to him, he refused immediately, even gave me a lecture... Benny came to my rescue once again and then gave away my secret... Apparently afterwards they both heard you scream, and he saw Xander run outside," She put a hand over her moth a whispered, "and raise his sword against Garon-" She leaned back and scoffed, "Once hearing that, I thought the prince was insane and decided it was time to move on. "

He'd raised his sword to Garon in attempts to save me? I thought he was sick of me then, so... why would he even consider harming Garon for me?

"Benny though, now, he enjoys Xander's company, which is surprising since he claimed the man was insanely intimidating. He did him a great favor by the way. Whenever you where ill on the field, Benny rushed out to help, and ended up saving that other man from being clobbered by the prince when he grabbed you up and ran to that fledgling king. I walked in on the two having a small heart-to-heart then actually."

So all that time he spent inside the wall was, not to be with Charlotte, but to speak with Benny. I-... Gods, I was all wrong.

"Anyways," Charlotte began again. My heart raced out of my chest as she spoke, my mind was a thunderstorm with the thought of Xander and my new knowledge of that day, "I want to apologize... moving is a difficult thing to go through, and I'm sorry if I made it any harder." She held out her hand, "Truce?"

I looked at it's calloused surface and hesitantly took it. She gave it a rough squeeze.

"Truce." I muttered quietly. Though I wished I could've let my distaste for her fester, there's no point in it. It was time to move onward, even if I'd have rather have gotten some spec of revenge.

She smirked, "You should probably get started before Xander get impatient." She winked and left to stand facing away from the lake. "Call out if you start to drown." She cooed. With a reddened face I shuffled back into the cold waters. With the night's chill coming in I'd have to be fast, though the idea of speaking to Xander about what I'd just been told was enough of a motivation.

Besides having to swim out to retrieve the bar of soap, I enjoyed the clean and brisk feeling that came with the cold once adjusting, though my teeth chattered relentlessly. When I was finished Charlotte left me alone to change and I reveled in the warmth of my layered garbs. An odd amount of comfort came over me when I placed my circlet and ring back on and I realized how much stability they gave me.

I must wonder when those two items became as irreplaceable as my necklace.

I smiled softly, my chest warmed at the thought of the day he gave me the circlet and ring.

My bare feet padded to the large shoes waiting for me and I slipped into them. I'd never felt so small in comparison to him before as I did when I trudged back to the camp with his shoes struggling to even stay on my feet.

I entered the arrangement of fires and tents with a careful refrain as my legs trembled from the effort of getting myself even here. I looked around for the larger tents to instead find Xander making his way to me, stuck in the same clothes as before. He stopped in front of me and held out an arm that I took graciously.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked as we walked.

"Y-yes." I said, shivering.

"It's warmer in the tent, here-" He picked up without warning and the large loafers fell from my feet. I glanced down to see him barefoot and treaded over them without a care. "We'll get there faster if I take the lead." I looked to him with confusion at his flustered responses. His ears reddened when his eyes met mine. He snapped his gaze away and walked to the tent without another word. The oddness of him kept me away from building my courage up to speak of the first day on the border, yet when I was sat down and handed a small bowl of lukewarm broth, I spoke anyways.

"Xander..." I began softly. He sat in front of me and raised his eyebrows. "I think... I mean.." I sighed, "I need to talk about our arrival to the border." He folded his hands together and fumbled with his fingers.

"You should eat first." He said, an obvious anxiety emanating off of him.

"I may get sick again, I can't wait for this." I sat the bowl down and pushed it aside. I scooted just a bit closer. I took in a deep breath then forced myself to make eye contact. This was my defining moment. This was the hour that changed my century, as I know this will segway into a stiff and scared conversation that will make everything either better or worse. "Charlotte told me... she said that you-" I blinked rapidly, as if to brush off my nervousness, "that you had raised your sword to Garon." I started talking faster as hope and a warm feeling entered my chest, "You'd never do something like that without reason, you'd never risk so much, you'd only ever done it to save Kaze, and gods I have to wonder why, I have to pray he didn't see you then. You don't need more scars-" I calmed myself down and stamped out whatever ideas of him somehow wanting to protect me forming in my mind. "I... I just want to know why you raised a sword to your own father.."

He looked to his hands and after a moment of thick silence he balled them into fists for just a second, though his weary and soft eyes didn't match it.

"I thought he was going to kill you. I-... I didn't know what to do, it was just a reflex."

"Would you have gone through with it?"

"Yes."

"What if he'd have killed me?" I said without thinking. As I always do. He let out an exasperated laugh.

"I don't know... I-I don't wish to think of what I'd have done." He shook his head, "Admitting to attacking him is enough mental exhaustion to last a decade but-" He let out a shaking breath, "I don't know." He ran a hand through his hair. I looked down. I opened my mouth to begin to apologize but he began again, "I let myself get attached to you." I looked up and found a smile ghosting his lips, "I've learned that I can't sit still if I don't know where you are, not with how easily you get hurt, but then I don't want to be near. I thought Silas's intervention would somehow help me. I thought if I forced that anger and hate... something would snap in me. Gods, and I tried so hard to let that feeling fester..."

"You've no right to forgive me." I whispered as I hung my head low.

"You speak the truth." I flinched. "But I have. The moment I herd your scream, the second I ran out and saw my father inches from taking your head, the exact time I would've murdered him for touching you was when I forgave you. I had some small hope then that I'd still be hating being in your presence, something that could last a lifetime for my own good."

I furrowed my eyebrows. He relaxed his hands and looked at them, somberly beginning again, "But, I still want to stand by you at every moment. It's some need, deep down, pleading for me to give in and try, but when I do, if I look just behind you I see my brother, watching, judging." He closed his eyes. "I can hear him yelling at me, hating me for what I've done, what I've wanted." he folded his hands together, "When I'm with you, and see you, hear you talking to me, I quietly wish he was here instead. I hope you'd have approached him with the same excitement you do me."

I gripped my pendant tightly.

"Sometimes..." He sighed as he forced out the words, "sometimes I see the two of you living happily together. I see him holding your hand and laughing with you, dancing and just loving to be in your presence. Some days, I can envision the smallest of babes in his arms, and he proclaiming its name with so much pride and joy it rubs off on me even. I can see myself living without a wife or concubine and just.. quietly accepting that it'd be my heir, and the court could be damned." He let out a sharp breath and closed his eyes, "I remember the days he'd begun loving you. How he'd try his hardest to decipher that vagueness you always had with him. He'd read off everything to me and try to have my help on his part." He smiled fondly, though it trembled, "I'd refuse him and go back to my work, knowing he could handle himself." His smile faltered, "I remember the day he thought he'd earned your affection. He was so excited," He laughed, "He even endured Elise and Camilla's teasing, as it just made him happier. He asked me what he should reply with, and I brushed him off as always. He took it in stride, and left. Gods, I can still hear the cough he bore as he walked." His smile fell, "More clearly than any, I can see the day he collapsed in front of me, and I can remember the day those eyes- those beautiful eyes-" His voice grew higher and shook, "-became glassy and no longer looked at me." And with the smallest of sobs, he covered his mouth with a hand. In an immobilized shock, I watched him bite down on a finger so hard it bled.

With a start, I drew it away from him and held it tight with my own. I wiped away the blood and rubbed a small circle on his palm. I didn't wish to speak, I had no right to here... not after all the months I played that ghost on as some sort of game. I simply sat and waited, looking at the scars at his wrist and ones that trailed up under his sleeve. He hesitantly wrapped his fingers around my hand and rubbed his eyes gently, then let his arm fall.

He watched the floors somberly as he spoke, regret and guilt running just beside his words, "Everyday I tell myself to put distance between us, but every moment I seem to knowingly fail both him, and myself. Every moment I want you like no man should. And I remind myself, that you aren't mine, yet.... I wish you were."

My heart fluttered. "I want to be yours." I whispered, gripping his hand tighter.

"'I want to be yours,'" He repeated breathlessly. "I want you. I want you so desperately." He looked up to me submissively, "I need you-" His breath hitched and he inched closer to me. "I want to love you without hating myself." His breaths were hot and shallow against my cheek. His hand slid up my arm and rested at my neck, covering a cold and faded bruise. "I love you, but I hate myself for it." He closed his eyes for just a second. I stopped breathing and watched him with parted lips in awe. "I want what Leon wanted for you, I want what you wanted with Kaze." He moved closer to me, a hand gently finding its self at my waist. "I want to do everything Silas did to you." I let out a shallow breath of shame. His exhausted gaze met mine and his lips trembled, "I want to kiss you. I want to hear you whisper my name. I want to hear you moan." He let out a nearly silent whimper. "I want to love you without hating myself."

My small hand cupped his cheek and he melted into the touch before very slowly inching closer to me. "I love you." He closed his eyes, and I watched him with a half-lidded gaze as he stopped a hair's breadth from me. His breath were fast and filled with a lusty anxiety. The hand at my waist slid upwards slowly. I arched my back as it made it's way to hold the side of my face gently. He let out a pant and opened his eyes, darkened with a hint of arousal.

"I want to love you without hating myself for it." His fingers traced small lines against my cheek, and his eyes remained on mine, never once breaking the contact. His mind raced a million miles behind his eyes, and when it calmed for just a moment, his hand moved to brush a piece of hair behind my ear. "Will you send me off to a battle, or will you send me off to war?" He whispered breathlessly. I wanted neither... I wanted to bring him no pain, but gods... gods my new dream, my new plan was one of him in the golden rays of the morning sun, smiling... truly, really smiling, and waiting for me as I gripped a small, minuscule hand, the ivory crown atop his head weightless, and the people behind him fed and satisfied.

I gently pressed my lips against his chapped ones and he instantly nestled himself against me, causing me to fall onto my back, our kiss breaking. My hand shifted to rest at the back of his neck and he let out a soft moan when I threaded his hair between my fingers. I gently pulled him down and placed my lips onto his again. He pressed himself against me, and I felt his heart beating rapidly against my own. He let out a groan-like whimper as his hand rubbed up and down my arm. I let out a breath of pure ecstasy and moved my lips methodically against his. He joined, setting a desperate rhythm I gave into. Yet, he was soft, gentle, loving... and he had restraint, so much so that I lead with my near inexperience.

He broke away, panting and placed small kisses all across my face as he caught his breath. Three atop my forehead, one on the tip of my nose, one on my temple, then ones at the corners of my mouth before pressing against my lips once more and pulling away.

He looked down to me with a guilt filled gaze, yet still left panting and red-faced. With a soft sigh, he placed a small, feathery kiss to my cheek, then pulled himself off of me. He helped me up and I sat, quietly looking at my hands. My heart beat rapidly in my chest as I sat with mixed feelings biting at me. It was all so bitter-sweet, and I feared we both knew it.

"Can you wait for me?" He asked. He sounded so weak and small, as if he'd been through hell and back in just that moment. "Could you wait however long it would take for me to be able to even hold your hand without guilt?"

I could hear myself behind his voice. I could hear a desperation I let bleed out as I stood before my brother, begging to forgiven, begging to not be abandoned. Oddly enough, It was a familiar tone Xander had always had. He always dawned it, always brandished it, but it was so terribly hard to tell it was even there... Now, I can hear it so clearly, even without words, even without him even being there.

I hear it when he fidgets under a painting's cruel gaze, when sisters speak of life and death like they know them equally well, louder now I hear it as he dawns a protective glace almost always unnoticed by me fading to a softness few have seen, something vulnerable meant only for my eyes, I hear it as foreign lips meet to break vow, and familiar ones brush to string it together. _"Please, don't abandon me."_ Yet no one heard over the booming station of his father.

I watched his vulnerable and grief stricken eyes float up to mine. I inched my hand towards his, but refused to touch him.

"You already love me, what else would I need besides that? I could wait a decade without your hands knowing that." I said with an awkwardness coming over me as I absent mindedly looked to his lips. Everything was different now after that moment of... weakness, confession, trust?

A breathy laugh escaped his throat and an exhausted smile came across his lips. I felt him just barely brush my fingers with his before moving in closer to me, looking directly in my eyes.

"No matter how these events play out, I will always be your sole protector. I will always be yours even if you don't want me, and if the day comes that you wish to return home to Hoshido," his hand slid over mine bitter-sweetly, "I'd walk you to your doorstep."

I looked to our fingers. Disgust riled up in my stomach and my pendant began to warm and glow. "I don't want to go back with him." I said, shaking my head to cement my answer. "I want to see my family of course, but I... I don't think it's my place to stay there permanently anymore." I slid my hand from under his and clasped mine together. "My time there is over and done with the hand off of Kaze."

"Do you want it to be?"

I sighed softly. "If going back meant it was all the same as it were before, maybe not, but things have changed. My family has changed, I've changed, and without Mother, or even Father, I've no one truly unbiased there to accept me." I shifted and held my pendant. "Mother at least would've commended me for my growth, or... I hope. My only chance was to have Ryoma's pride in me, yet-" I bit down on my lip, "-he claimed I was sick. He hated me for it. Gods." I closed my eyes tight, "Gods." I began to crumple, "I thought that sacrificing my freedom and rights for them was enough. I was so sure that I was being a good sister and daughter by putting them first, but it wasn't enough." I put my face in my hands. "I never needed the acceptance of my father... I always had it with my mother, but Ryoma I-... I never imagined he'd have given up on me so quickly. In mere moments he was armed to abandon my name in our family. I thought my simply being with him and loving him all those years was enough." I gripped my dress tightly and stared at the floor with wide confused eyes. "He watched me like he owned me. He allowed Saizo to put a Shuriken to my throat, and all those people I'd grown up with didn't bat an eye. What had he told them I was? What else have I done that so wronged him by my wishing to stay here after our father's deal." I looked to Xander, "Does he not understand that I want to stay now, no matter our father? W-what have I done so wrong that he'd hate and mock me?"

A fat tear fell onto my arm. I watched it with a sick interest as I pondered myself. What did I do to deserve Ryoma's treatment before Xander and his duel?

Xander's hand cupped my cheek and wiped away a tear with his thumb. His hand fell to his lap and he looked to his side as he spoke.

"I've found that taking your mind off those things helps."

"It'll never go away if I just bottle it up."

"I'm scared to think of those things..."

My lips parted. "Xander?"

He blinked and shook his head. He looked at me with bewilderment. "Forgive me I... I'm just a bit tired is all.." His Adams apple bobbed and a strand of hair fell in front of his face. I sighed as a slight frustration filled me. He's much more than a "bit tired." Not when his eyes were blackened with exhaustion.

"How long has it been since you slept," What else could he have he been denying himself, "Or even ate at that?"

"I can go days without food, weeks if I must, I'm alright, Corrin."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "That only tells me you've not been eating. How long Xander?" I demanded. He sighed.

"Nearing on a week." He muttered hesitantly. My eyes widened and I grabbed the bowl of broth discarded beside me. I shoved it against his chest hastily.

"Eat now." With a shake of my head in pure disbelief, I began again, "How long has it been since you've slept?"

"Corrin-"

"Xander, tell me now." I clenched my fists, my pendant warmed at my chest. He looked down into the broth.

"It was a few days before we left." He gently pushed the bowl away.

I didn't know what to think. I was scarred for him, unrealistically confused as to why he'd been doing it to himself, angry at him even. I pushed the bowl back against him, much rougher this time. A small amount of cold liquid spilled onto my fingertips.

"Eat." I demanded.

"You need it more than I do." I set my jaw and pursed my lips, I took on a tone that filled my childhood.

"I won't drink a sip until you've eaten something."

He watched the liquid momentarily, stiffening slightly. He sighed and stood up.

"I'll grab something by the cooking fires."

I gave him a nod and placed the bowl to my lips, the shifting of his feet and quick cold breeze faded behind me. The minty and chilled broth filled my stomach with a quaint freshness I happily indulged in. It calmed whatever illness related aches and pains remained and left me feeling nearly satisfied, but the anxiousness plaguing me, nauseated my stomach and heart, leaving me on the bring of vomit no matter what.

How could I ever be calm after tonight's play of events? I've been confessed to and shown a great weakness from Xander in the span of half an hour.

I feel as though both were terrible occurrences.... One of course gave me some semblance of a growing heart, but now I've seen a much darker side to the complications to our relationship. I always knew it, but just hardly understood it, now- gods, now I understand it so much more fully and can see my selfishness even more so, both to him, and to Leon.

I disregarded that boy without cease. I only ever considered him days before I learned of his death, whilst he had gone loving me months prior... in my time in Nohr I've not even paid my full respects to him... never even attempted to learn of who I was once set to marry, when I should. But how could I? Xander's lockdown on anything related to them is almost frightening. The last things they ever touched whilst healthy can never be moved, doors and rooms they often traveled cannot be entered unless by him. Even I play a role in the past he's clawing at so relentlessly. I fear if he pushed some sort of veil of perfection over his own eyes regarding me as to make it seem to him that I was the best, and most suitable option for Leon in his final moments...

How much of that apparent love for me is not a false ideal put on himself to save him the heartache of what I truly was to Leon?

What am I to him really?

The canvas shifted and crumpled as he entered, and he sat across from me with a dreadful looking bowl of soup in his hands. Hoping desperately to clear my mind and lighten the tension between us, I decided on speaking.

"You'd think they'd give us the special treatment on these trips." I said with a small, awkward giggle.

"They give it to you, father and whoever is closest to him at the time, but not me." he said, in no rush to eat.

"Really, why not?"

"I... was never a soldier like them. Never had to truly rise to my title- of course I had to show I was skillful enough to my father, but without him I'd be nothing." He looked to his side wearily. "Why should I be given any different treatment in those regards when they sit outside, eating this, when I'd be eating whatever feast my father is indulging in. Besides, food is in short supply anyways."

I looked down. My wealth was showing, wasn't it?

"I guess I shouldn't be eating so well either." I said after a moment of reflection. He shook his head.

"No. You've no place in our armies, you have the right, as royalty, to dine on pure gold if you wished."

I chuckled. "Only when Garon gives me the freedom to order it of course." I paused as his first statement rung in my mind, I furrowed my brow. "What did you mean by having no place in your armies?"

"For now, you don't have the training."

"And what if I did?"

"You'd..." He sighed as he mulled it over. "Well, if you had the training you would be on the frontlines."

"Really?" I clasped my hands together.

"Let's not talk about your hypothetical place on the battlefield."

"Could I do it, if I were good enough of course?" I asked with slight glee. He put a hand at the nape of his neck.

"If necessary, but it doesn't mean I'd be as joyful as you were at the promotion... The only men joyful of the station are either first-comers ignorant to it, or old-timers driven insane by it."

I tilted my head ever so slightly, "What are you?" Without any hesitation nor falter he replied,

"Deadened by it." He stirred the soup and held up a spoon full, examining it as he spoke, "I'm used to the sound of soldiers falling. Used to their choked requests as I hold them seconds before their deaths." He grimaced, then gave a soft sigh. He took along pause I didn't dare interrupt, before giving me a quiet addition to his confession, "I regret every death I've witnessed, yet my time of mourning has shortened dearly since the first man I watched fall on my behalf."

"How long ago was it?" I watched him with concerned eyes. He's been on the warfront from a younger age than most men ever starting thinking of battle.

He ate a spoonful and swallowed it thickly, watching his reflection in the bowl with near pity, before meeting my eyes with a rueful determination of what I could never explain.

"I was 13 and witnessed two men die for me on my first expedition in battle."

"I-" I shifted uncomfortably. "I've never seen death, but I've heard enough of it in a lifetime to be satisfied."

"I can never guarantee that you'll live a life free of that sight, but I can promise to be there to shield your eyes when the time comes."

"Shouldn't I try to be numb to it? If we're rulers, shouldn't we be?"

"No... we shouldn't. We should never look upon it with dead eyes, never face it without fear, for death is the ultimate goal of our lives, the final stretch, and all we do is take the walk to it slower or faster. No man should leap to his finish willingly, and no child should stumble across... We should fear our slow approach.... and watch in horror as others race ahead of us... As rulers we are both bringers of death, and defenders of it. Without feeling towards it, our judgments can never be sound."

"But, aren't you numb to it?"

"I'm numb to my own more than anyone else's'."

He took another spoonful of his food before bringing the bowl to his lips and drank. When he finished he bowed his head and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"Excuse me." He said as he stood up, then left with his dish. I was left shocked, and had to free myself from the racing of my mind at his answer that made me think of the worst possibly outcome of him... How far apart did we walk on our way to our finish? Did he ever run towards his end, or has he walked a slow walk to it to find me walking just behind him. What if he stands at the edge, waiting for myself to catch up only to push him into the abyss, or would he jump far before I ever saw him?

I reached behind myself and struggled, hastily untying my dresses strings, carefully tied by Xander nights ago. I had to force my mind away from the idea of another untimely death, and decided on attempting the puzzle of freeing myself from my garments. After what seemed like an eternity I forced my way out and slipped into a silk nightgown I would've despised weeks ago. Though I felt uncomfortable in it's close-fitting nature, I'd come to accept the showing clothes of Nohr, but I will always miss the security of my thick fabriced sleeping gowns of the past.

When I caught myself moments from going down the deep rabbit hole of my old home life, I discovered myself still sitting alone in the tent, a scene that lasted nearly an hour. Xander's whereabouts plagued my mind, but I didn't want to let it fester, knowing very well his station called for busy nights and calls I couldn't fathom. He'd been out in the midst of the night many times before, but I couldn't help worry. With that worry came my putting a blanket over myself and treading barefoot and weary out into the brisk night.

Soldiers still sat round the fires, but scarcely. Their story filled words replaced with yawns and sips of whatever in their mugs, and as I approached them I watched whilst they kept their gaze on the flames.

"Excuse me." I began timidly, causing them all to stand and bow. I hastily raised a hand to halt them, and with an awkward gait they complied, returning to their seats.

"Good evening, Milady. What is it you need of us?" One asked, representing the group eyeing me curiously. I held the blanket tighter around myself as a chill ran across the air.

"I was wondering where Prince Xander was."

"Aye," One man nodded after the representative was left without an answer. He raised his mug towards the woods, "I watched him leave off into the wood a while ago with his tail between his legs." I furrowed my eyebrows and gave them my thanks, disregarding the others as I set off against their interrupted requests of my halt. I understood only when after traveling deep into the brush and herd two tense voices far off.

I knew I should've gone back, left what was going on to Xander and the other man, but my curiosity got the better of me, and I snuck closer and closer until I was crouched behind a bush, Xander and Garon in my sights. Cornered against a rock, Xander watched his father with weary eyes.

"Aren't you interested in what she'd become? What your sons would be capable of?"

"I'm not interested in watching anyone with her abilities spiral out of control. I'm not interested in her abilities period. They aren't a concern."

"But what if she could control it? What would she do for our armies, what defense would she bring us? Aren't you curious of the line of soldiers her blood will bring to the table? Aren't you concerned with the advantage we could have from her children? What those little warriors could accomplish."

"I'll not have her and my children bred like cattle for your filthy armies!" He spat with disgust.

My heart dropped. Was that all Garon ever saw me as? Was my purpose not for peace, but... for the hopes that his children, that more children afterwards would have the unfathomable ability to rampage like a demon, and the added bonus of my relation with the opposing kingdom? Did Father know? Did he understand what he was doing when I was bartered away?

Did mother know of my purpose to them as well? Is that why she couldn't bare to live when I left?

"Xander, with this we don't need pure blood lines, just children with her abilities, and we need them soon."

"War is not coming, not with her here, Ryoma knows better."

"What a better time to start, then when he doesn't expect it. Come now Xander, she's a ravishing woman," Xander's face slowly turned to one of disgust, "One who could bare any amount of children you could desire. Take advantage of that whilst she's young and fertile."

"Stop. I don't want to talk about this-"

"What is it, do you find her unsightly? We need only one dragon heir from you, I can easily find her another man to-"

"No-"

"Then what's the issue, boy?"

"She's not ready, we're not ready- Gods, father, I'm not ready!"

Garon scoffed. "Humor me, why not?"

"I can hardly take care of myself?! You think I could somehow raise a child? Father, I would've starved myself to death were it not for Corrin."

"Then we'll have the girl raise it."

"She's hardly 17, you can't expect her to-"

"Elise's mother was younger than her, it can be done."

"She was sickly from the childbirth for years after! She cannot raise a child if she were dead! Even if she survived she'd be too weak to do anything!"

"Then we'd have Camilla raise it."

"By the gods-" Xander raked his fingers through his hair. "This wouldn't be any part of her business, and I would not force her to raise anymore children than she already did. I'd pray you'd allow me that same freedom."

"What children did you both raise?" Garon question stiffly.

"Yours." Xander spat, "I helped raise Camilla, raised Leon partially by myself, and was left to teach Elise how to crawl, dress, eat, and speak. I was the only one who would take care of her besides the nurse that would've murdered her. I fathered those children, raised all of them when I'd none to raise me."

"I raised you." Garon bellowed.

"I raised myself once mother died, and you know I did! I taught myself the sword, learned from books on my own, and I roamed those halls with a babe on my hip before I could hardly read, whilst you enjoyed the company of your many whores. How many siblings were there before me? How many coinless brethren are there in the streets, left to look at the castle and wonder what would've happened if their mother was the one you decided to keep?"

Garon smacked him hard, and I flinched with Xander as he stumbled back against the rock.

"Repeat yourself." Garon growled.

"How many siblings do I really have, Father?! How many more children must I raise for you?! Father, you can't expect us to birth you an army when you yourself could barely birth two living sons who lived past 16?!" Xander yelled. Garon raised his hand, and Xander caught his wrist before it even came close to touching him. "Don't you dare strike me again." He hissed as he struggled to keep his Father's hand from him. Garon pushed Xander's head against the rock. He clawed at him hopelessly and let out a cry of pain through grit teeth as the man pushed his face harder and harder against the stone.

I grabbed at my pendant and watched on motionless. The blanket around me fell to the ground, but I couldn't notice the cold.

The king shifted to grip him by his throat, and I watched his hand visibly constrict around him. Xander let out a choked gasp. My heart began to race and adrenaline pumped through my veins. I leaned forward, and my aching hands dug into the dirt.

Slowly, Xander's grip on Garon's arm faltered, and it fell to his side as he choked on air. His eyes began to close, and he was dropped onto the ground.

"I'm sick of your constant disrespect. Sick of your endless bickering." He kicked him hard in the stomach and Xander sputtered and coughed through his gasps, "All of this, always over that damned child. Obviously my attempts at your respect aren't working, so I'd suggest being careful, else I lend your punishments to her instead... which would be horribly tragic considering what awaits you both on our return to Krakenburg." Garon said without remorse or regret as the man at his feet gasped for air like he'd never inhaled before. Xander grabbed his ankle.

"You won't touch her." He said gruffly. Garon kicked him off and delivered a sharp kick to his face. With a nose now bleeding, he gave out a desperate yell. "I take her beatings as always, you won't touch her!" I felt something inside me die, something crumple and tear. My eyes widened, and I fell back to sit on my legs in shock. Garon let out a noise of disgust and started on his walk back. I stiffened and held my breath as he passed by me, not noticing me, or not caring of my presence. I watched him until he was but a dot in the depths of the forest. The deep, agony filled scream of Xander was what brought my eyes back to him.

He sat on his legs, hands gripping his hair harshly with his head at the sky. He threw his arms down and smacked the ground, letting out another cry cut off by a frustrated sob. He brought himself closer to the grass and released a sob that shook his entire body.

He ripped up dirt and grass and threw it violently, with angry yells accompanying him as he destroyed the ground around him. Tears shimmered down his cheeks as he slammed his fist against the rock so hard I could nearly hear his knuckles break. He let out a whimper of agony and pushed his back against the formation. He slid downwards and brought his knees up. His hands covered his face tightly as he sobbed without abandon, blood smearing his hands.

How many times had this happened to him? How often has he been abused in the middle of the night and left alone in shambles? How long has he endured what many couldn't dream of? Gods, how many times did he endure such treatment just to keep me from punishments I never knew were issued to me. Gods tell me how many nights he spent away from our bed not to train, but to stand before his father....

How many scars are placed upon his back?

I covered my mouth as tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't stand to be here. It made my stomach churn, so quietly I escaped from the hell forming around me to find myself pressed tight against the side of the tent, wrapped in my blanket, holding back tears that strangled me.

I couldn't think, couldn't fathom his world or even mine at that. I was faced with a deep, cold despair and guilt that I'd never experienced before. Why did it feel worse than any time I'd felt it before... It made me want to vomit, made me want to run. I felt empty and confused, and mixed feelings ran rampant inside me. I couldn't explain the feeling... as no word would do it justice.

All I could do was sit and wait, holding back everything as I tried so desperately to be strong whilst the minutes ticked by. Eventually, Xander returned, red faced with dried blood peaking just under his nose, the remnants of a tear sat at his neck and smeared stains cupped his jaw. dirt blackened the fingertips of his hands, and the knuckles of one were swollen and purplish. A hand lightly traced a reddened area of his neck when his chapped lips parted to speak, but he halted when I burst into tears.

Almost instantly I was pulled into his weary, one-handed grasp. His hand found my head and stroked my hair gently.

"What's happened, little princess?" He murmured. I shook my head, desperate to be freed of him. I should've been stronger, but his appearance unraveled me and snapped me right in half as I looked upon what I had caused. I was the reason his nights were sleepless. I was the reason he starved himself. I only wanted to give him peace, yet I am one of the many demons he battles, and I've no idea how to stop myself.

 

 

 

 


	13. The Return of Three Royals

The road home was a bumpy one coddled by the dimming daylight from the borders and the freezing rains of the coming winter. Trapped in our carriage, Xander and I dinned sparingly on beef and wine without even the idle conversations of the past. A thick silence spilled over us, and it jumped at every glance we shared. To me, the moments were not awkward, but were instead filled with my fluttering heart that was so hastily trampled by regret and anguish.

The night Xander was hurt, I couldn't sleep and instead spent my time staring into the dark abyss, waiting for the soft snoring of Xander that never arrived, but as our journey to the castle began to close, he was forced into swift moments of sleep that could take hold of him at any time. With my initial fear and horror at his bouts of unconsciousness, I was able to force an agreement from him that he'd rest, so long as I sat beside him, instead of across.

It was an odd term, but one I had agreed to hastily as it meant his health. I can recall how much relief washed over me when I herd his snores slowly escape his lips, and how without thought I leaned against him and selfishly reveled in the warmth radiating from him. Slowly though, my eyes drifted to a swelled and injured hand rested delicately in his lap, and my heart ache began to throb through me once more.

The man had refused to treat it or any of his other wounds, and would hardly let me examine it. He would become flustered and frustrated by my actions to try and help, and I gave up after the second day. Through it all though, I never once asked of how he got them. I didn't need to force him to fabricate a story I already knew would be false. I thought it best to leave him be...

Many times over on the final day of our trip, with his innocent snores filling my ears, did I wonder if I should have offered him comfort, exposed my eavesdropping, if it only meant to calm him... but I fear his knowledge now. I'm scarred of his rejection of me now after the seedling of hope in me has sprouted. I'm horrified to think after what we shared... that he'd forfeit whatever war he was waging.

The soft brushing of our fingers when the carriage stopped, and how he had softly regarded me when I awoke him quelled my fear only a bit.

 

Xander held out his good hand to help me exit the vehicle, and I carefully hopped out into the cold dark air. He took my arm and we began walking towards the stairwell tower that would have us descend to Krakenburg. Though I dreaded being partially trapped inside it's borders, I'd enjoy being inside it with the people I was close to. Surprisingly, here I'd be welcomed without question.

I smiled softly and tightened my grip on Xander as we descended the stairs. I could hardly wait to visit with Felicia and see how things had been going with Dwyer and even to catch up to see if Niles had been taking care of Jakob in my stead. If I was lucky, Camilla would have already returned or would arrive shortly from her own trip. If luck was on my side maybe I'd finally be able to speak with Azura... It'd been so long.

Our footsteps echoed as we descended down the dim stairway, but it seemed as if that darkness calmed Xander, if only faintly.

A soft breath of air hit my neck and I looked up to him. With weary eyes and a heavy head he spoke out loud. "I think I'm going to take a bath and rest in our room. I'll leave you with your retainers and Laslow if you'd rather roam the castle instead of waiting around for me."

"Laslow?" I asked as I skipped over a step too many and nearly fell. Xander's grip went strong and kept me from tumbling down who knows how many stairs.

"We still need to be on high guard, and your safety is my highest priority, besides, he'll find his way to you anyways, I might as well ease his searching."

"He searches for me often?" I tilted my head.

"Enough to feel comfortable asking me where you've wondered to."

"Really?" I scrunched up my eyebrows, "Why?"

"When I asked he claimed to enjoy your company, but I'd hate to assume he's attempting his normal games with you. Truly, if he flirts with you or makes you uncomfortable, come to me, I'll make sure he won't flirt to you, or any other again."

I stifled a warm smile at his protectiveness, but I was surprised with him. How could he trust me with another man, one such as Laslow, after what I'd done with Silas? I wouldn't trust anyone after that...

I looked to the side. Maybe I should admire him for the silent forgiveness and trust, to be able to seemingly brush it aside in a matter of days... Though, I must doubt if it is completely true.

We came around the final turn and stepped onto a soft purple rug laid out into the far expanse of the hallway. Before us stood a familiar band of guardians.

"Lord Xander!" Laslow called out. He smiled warmly and approached us, Peri at his side. "How was your trip?!"

"Yes, tell us!" Peri exclaimed with her raspy, but sweet voice. Xander leaned in to Laslow, and severed his grasp to me to whisper something that forced Laslow's smile to falter. He gave a stiff nod and relayed the message to Peri.

"Corrin!" Came the loving informalities of Felicia. My eyes widened and I let out a happy gasp as she bounded towards me, she nearly jumped against me as she administered the most genuine hug of my existence. She let in linger as she swayed me side to side, before pulling back and giving a small slight of relief. "I've needed your company more these past few days than ever before. There's something I need to tell you about."

Just by seeing her bouncy pink hair, I realized how much I had missed her. The feeling rushed over me and I refrained from hugging her a second time. It felt similar to being homesick.

Odd.

I smiled softly and put my hands together, trying to withhold my excitement.

"Come, we'll go to the libraries and speak."

"Ah," she shook her head, "These are more private, dear, matters, that need to be spoken of with Lord Xander as well." her voice held a serious tone I hardly heard on her.

I furrowed my eyebrows, and glanced to Xander who was being quietly briefed over something by Peri. Niles and Odin stood around him, quietly adding on to their silent conversation.

"I..." I faced Felicia, dread filling my stomach, "I'm worried."

She looked down to her feet and fumbled with her hands.

"I wish your return could be more happy."

When I glanced back to Xander, he looked on at me with a calm, unreadable expression. He glanced back to Niles and mouthed words I couldn't understand, then signaled for our entire band to follow him. I made my way through to be at his side, but was quickly thwarted by my own retainers. The pair slowed me down, and I was left with only the glimpse of the top of his head.

"What's this about?" I questioned, hoping for an answer to their odd behavior, or the situation entirely.

"First, we'd both like to welcome you back to Nohr, I'm sure your visit at the borders quenched your thirst for you family?" Odin asked.

"Drowned it." I said flatly, "Now, what's the meaning of all this?"

"Well we've... we've had an incident."

I furrowed my brows. "What kind?"

"We'll explain it fully to the both of you when Xander finds a suitable place of meeting." Niles warned. Odin nodded and fell back to speak slyly with Felicia. When I had aimed to give a confused glare to Niles, I was nearly captivated instead. He looked different. Rugged.

I watched the silver haired man closely, examining him. His dark skin was a steep contrast to the light blue of his eye. Even more so was the thick, ragged state of his hair, long enough now to pool at his shoulders. The smallest patch was braided neatly behind a torn ear, and the patch over his eye had changed. It looked cleaner, like the metal 'X' had gone from painted metal, to a true silver. Like Saizo and his mask, I wanted to see what he hid just as much as he wished to see what I tried to push away.

Niles' eye flicked to look at me, and I hastily averted my gaze. I felt his stare the rest of the way to our place of meeting.

Xander chose a room down a long hallway I'd never once traversed. He opened a door near the dead-end stop and shuffled inside its pert, grandiose quarters. I entered in awe, it was larger than our room by nearly a mile and had two connecting open spaces with a chandelier hung in the middle of where we stood. Crystals, long fallen from the item's hanging, lay shattered on the dusty floors and as we move in closer I sneezed at the lack of cleaning the room had gotten. Sheets laid over the furniture like they were ghosts of the past and a forgotten fire place sat with two, once fresh logs sitting inside. It looked to be abandoned in a rush, though I couldn't fathom why. Like many thing in Nohr, I'm sure if it were up-kept, it would've been beautiful

Xander led us to a far corner of one of the rooms and we formed a small circle, the prince just across from me.

"So, tell us what needs to be tended to so urgently?" He sounded just as clueless as I was, which was of some relief. Felicia stepped forward, although timidly. Even so, she looked on to Xander with a braveness I'd never seen. Then, I noticed just how much older she looked. It was as if over night something inside her matured, though her excitement just moments ago didn't prove, but... that dull shimmer in her eyes, it was all so different from before.

"I'm sure Niles already explained that Jakob plays into this, correct, Lord Xander?"

Xander nodded, and crossed his arms. I looked to Niles, whose gaze on me was unwavering. I narrowed my eyes and looked back to Felicia. She held her hand to her heart, and clasped at air. She took another step forward and grimaced, looking away. She took in a deep breath before snapping her head back to him.

"Let me put this bluntly sire, my sister has escaped, and Jakob was the one who helped her, she left Dwyer in my care."

Xander held the bridge of his nose. I gaped.

"You can't be serious." I muttered. Felicia glanced to me. "How could she leave you to raise her child!?"

"She had no other choice." Felicia defended. She turned back to Xander. "Sire, you must understand that she had no other choice. Garon- he-" she shook her head- "He wished to bed her, court her. He made it clear the day you left for the borders, and he'd every intention of claiming her on his return, she couldn't handle it, and well," She looked to Niles. Niles stepped forward.

"Corrin had been giving rations to Jakob through the tunnels. When she was gone I opted to do it in her stead. Felicia walked in on my duties one afternoon and I explained it to her-"

Felicia bowed deeply, her pony-tail flipping about wildly, "Forgive me sire! I spoke word of the ordeal to my sister and the day after next she had disappeared as well as Jakob."

Laslow sighed and began, "Sire, we became involved and started a search for them through the tunnels, hoping they had gotten lost on entering the second checkpoint, but nearly became lost ourselves. That was a few nights ago."

"I held a search above ground," Peri sighed, "But we couldn't find a body of Jakob or Flora; we could only assume they'd escaped together. We've assumed that they've returned to her village."

Xander ran a hand through his hair. I could see the stress emanating from him as he mulled over everything that'd been revealed. I didn't know how to feel, save for the twinge of relief that washed over me at the thought that Flora would be freed from Garon... Gods knows what that mad man would've done to her.

Did Xander know of their budding affair, I must wonder?

"Has my entrance to the tunnels been kept a secret?"

Laslow's eyes fell. My heart dropped. "No," he took a short pause, "No, Sire, they have not. Flora left a letter to Felicia mentioning it, and a group of maids got to it before her. They had apparently ventured to your room and found it."

"Does Garon know?" Xander asked a strange calmness radiating off of him.

"Not him nor his advisors, but the entire staff may." He stepped closer, "We can easily silence them if-"

"No." Xander sighed, "No, that won't be necessary. He will find out no matter what we try. Iago is no doubt listening beyond those doors now." He looked towards the door, "I will explain this whole ordeal to him myself."

"I-" Felicia cleared her throat, "I have to explain these matters, Sire. This is a personal matter between my sister and the king, as I was the last to see her and the only one to bear nearly full witness to this, I have to do so. You, Corrin, and Niles both shall be present for a secondary influence on this..." She stated dryly.

"This is all?" Xander asked, nearly anxiously. She nodded. He stood still and quiet before looking back to us. "We are going to let this wait till the night has passed, if we can. If any of you are summoned, request the three of us, and Felicia, be sure to bring the letter she left you."

"Yes, of course."

"You all are dismissed, I thank you for your efforts against this. I would also ask that Niles remains."

Laslow stepped to Xander and looked to him seriously, his eyes flicking to his neck and back twice, "Sire, all of us together can easily silence any voices attempting to speak of the tunnels. I highly advise your play at such matters."

"It's not needed. Thank you for your concern."

With hesitation he began to leave, and I decided to follow, only to have Xander call me back. Shamefully I shuffled back to him, and waited in silence before the door clicked shut.

"You hid it from me," His eyes were cold, "and you hide only things that would possibly upset me, which means, you knew I disliked Jakob, knew I didn't want anyone involved with that man, and even if you didn't, Niles knew. So I'll start with you," He turned to Niles. "Humor me for a moment as to why you would help her against my orders?"

Niles held no emotion behind his eyes, he was a rock of indifference, and I suspected his ability to hide his emotions rivaled even Xander.

"She promised something to a dying man. As her protector I decided it best to not only decide if he is completely trustworthy but to go on with her ordeal whilst she was away."

He gave him a stern look. "Tell me, was he trustworthy?"

"I only meet him twice sire. From that I decided he was to be weary around, but could be handled. The man had been traversing your tunnels for years now, and never let it escape his lips, maybe that could speak enough."

"Yet, he allowed Flora to escape."

"Would you have wanted it any other way, Lord Xander?" Niles questioned, his gaze going dark, "Would have preferred her to be bedded by your own father? You'd allow such torture to a woman who'd already been through hell?" He scoffed, "I'd have thought better of you."

It sounded as though there were a hidden grudge between the two of them.

Xander stepped towards him, "Don't you understand what she's done? I understand her wishing to be free of him, truly! But there are other ways! Doing this has ruined her tribe. Even without the notion, it's easy to think she's escaped there. If she has, the tribe will be under stricter laws, if she isn't, it will be destroyed whilst he tries to find her. They were forced here as children to prove to their father what control Garon had... they represent every man and woman there. Did you ever think of that?"

"No. I didn't."

Xander clenched his fists and let out a grunt of frustration. Niles let off no emotion.

"Leave. Garon's punishment, or, hopefully, his scolding will be enough," He looked down at the white haired man so sternly I feared even he would crack, but not even a hairline fracture appeared, "Never let anything of this sort happen again. If you ever allow her to be in immediate danger, now or later, I will personally send you back to the streets you were raised on."

"I'd sooner walk myself back to the bandits before then, Sire." He bowed and left without another word.

Xander sauntered off and left my line of sight. His footsteps echoed in the flat air. I herd him shift an item somewhere in the room, before growing silent, stiff. My pendant warmed softly to quell my racing heart. A simple act of kindness spiraled out of control and ruined the only secret Xander ever openly entrusted to me. Never did he tell me to keep quiet of how his eyes grew soft when he gazed at me or how I once ran my fingers through his hair, no, he told me to never speak of this or use it, and I broke his one request. None of this would've happened if I didn't try to run off those first few days and meet Jakob in the first place. I just had to run, didn't I? Flora had a reason to escape, and what was mine? It's been overwritten by so many more fears and thoughts I can hardly remember now... surely I must have been scarred, or maybe just stupid.

Gods, what will Garon do to him for this? What will he do to the Ice tribe, or Felicia for simply being related to Flora. What won't happen to me?

I slowly turned, and watched Xander as he examined a dusty wooden bird taken from the mantle of the fire place. I watched his darkened bruises, and the injured hand kept at his chest closer. How many more of my beatings could he take?

He gently sat down the wooden sparrow, and turned it ever so slightly. He let his hands rest on the mantle and sighed. He looked to me, a certain solemnness sweltering on his brow.

"You know you were wrong, so why should I spend this time scolding you?"

"Don't give me some special treatment." I said softly.

"I'm not, I'm just... too tired to speak of your faults."

My hands gently wrung the fabrics by my waist as I nervously spoke, "I never thought what I'd done would turn into this, Xander-" He held up a hand to silence me.

"Please, no more."

"But," I shook my head, bringing up my brows, "What is Garon going to do?"

His hand slipped down and he stepped towards the covered sofa. He lifted the sheet slightly and examined what was underneath. I caught the glimpse of a gleaming yellow fabric. For a moment he stood and stared, and I wondered for a long moment if he'd refuse replying altogether.

"Maybe he'll send me away," He said with a flighty tone, "but to where I must wonder." He put the sheet back, though let his hand linger. "This... this will be a major blow to the Ice Tribe. I-" He clenched his fists, "I understand her reasons- in the back of my mind I'd been hoping to whatever gods would listen, that she'd find a way out," He rested his hand at his forehead, "but, she of all people should understand what this means."

"What does it mean?" My face softened in concern. His hand ran through his hair and with it came off his circlet. He looked into it's ebony colored metal and shook his head in almost disbelief.

"It could mean the extermination of her people."

I reeled back. "But what if they aren't giving her sanctuary? What if they've nothing to do with this?"

"You think that matters to him?" His knuckles grew white, "He bartered those girls from their father to keep them in line. Their actions in Krakenburg kept the tribe from being destroyed by the solders posted there. He had made it very clear their failures here would cause repercussions to their father." He slowly placed the circlet onto his head, "Now that Father has grown some sort of sick infatuation for Flora, he'll do whatever is necessary to have her back."

I was never at the front of their affair, thus I had no idea what had occurred besides her hating of him and how he forced her own son away. My heart fell at the though of Dwyer. My lips parted in shock of the idea that conjured up in my mind.

"What would Garon do to her son?"

The words caught in his throat unexpectedly. He blinked, and bit at his upper lip. His nose twitched, and very quietly came, "I don't know." He looked towards the door before turning back to me, "Come with me, quickly. Gods know if Father has checked on where Flora is yet."

I nodded with a small grunt and I followed his wide stride out of the once grand room. Not far down the hall, our band of retainers stood waiting for us. Felicia and Laslow no where in sight. Once they saw us, they quickly trailed behind us. Niles found his place close to my side. Xander quickly turned to Peri.

"Where has Felicia and Laslow gone?"

"Oh," Her crackly sweet voice rung, "He offered to escort her back to her quarters, they just left."

"Thank you."

"It sounded like you got off easy, Princess." Niles said, his voice thick. I looked to him as I inched closer to Xander. Guilt washed over me. I should've been the one to be scolded, not him.

"Thank you for trying to help Jakob. I never should've allowed you to help him instead of me. I want you to know that none of this is your fault either."

"Oh, I know, but I expect more in the way of an apology, milady, considering what could become of me. Why don't we discuss it later." He said quietly.

I narrowed my eyes and glanced to Xander before giving my hushed response. "Sadly, my verbal apology is all you're going to get. Forgive me." I gave him a small bow and hastily caught up to Xander's pace. Quickly the suits of armor lessened and the grandness dimmed down to a small glimmer of royalty. We descended down stairs and stood in front of two slim wooden doors. Two soldiers stood outside and gave the two of us a bow. Xander turned to our retainers,

"Stay here a moment, we'll be out soon."

The men opened the door and we entered down a narrow hallway. I scurried to remain at his pace and looked up to him, my thoughts echoing out loud.

"Why would the maids be guarded?" It felt as if they were locked up; trapped, like Flora and Felicia both.

"Many have been kidnapped, harmed, even killed, by those who take residence here. Lords and Ladies alike stay here only for the sole reason to be in my father's favor, and often they harm our workers, why I can't fathom.... but the mistress and master of all the service quarters both agreed on having them protected."

"It's not at all to keep Felicia and Flora out of leaving, is it?"

He sighed heavily, "Father... he expected Felicia to try, but thought she'd be caught by the guards or held back from Flora. Never did he expect her to run, but even her resolves have their limits."

"Do yours?"

His eyebrows twitched, and he slowly looked to me, a mix of both confusion and offense. I looked ahead, a burning feeling in my chest. I shouldn't have said it... but knowing those things never stopped me.

We turned a corner and the walls opened up into a dimly lit room, cobble walls encasing the first of what I could assume to be many of the servants quarters in the castle. Beds lined each side of the wall, and further through an open doorway was a cooking area with a table peaking just in my line of sight. Bells with rooms names on it aligned the top of the doorway, though I couldn't read the script used.

The chatter that had echoed down the hall quieted, and the women all went still. Their hurried pace and flitting chatter all snapped so quickly I could feel the tension push against my heart. Felicia's pink bangs fell in front of her face as she held her head in her hands. Laslow sat beside her, consoling her in a hushed whisper we could faintly hear.

A woman dawning short black hair approached me, a scowl on her face.

"We've had nothing to do with Flora, we ask that you involve only the klutz."

I let out a disapproving scoff, "I will not have you say such things about my maid." Felicia raised her head. I narrowed my eyes to all the women and their judgmental eyes. I could practically hear them think, _"How cute, the little foreigner is trying to order us around."_ I faltered under my own thoughts, but kept the tone thick on my tongue. "Go back to your business."

"Corrin?" Came the cracking voice of Felicia. I quickly came to her side and looked upon her red, tear stained face. I wrapped my arms around her.

"Where is Dwyer?" Xander asked her once I pulled back. He sounded fearful, horribly so. I could even see it in the lines of his face. She wiped her eyes and looked into the kitchens. I stood up and leaned over to see the small boy sitting, his feet dangling as he sipped at a glass, a man in garbs similar to Nicholai's sat beside him and we locked eyes for a moment.

"Felicia," Xander looked towards the kitchen anxiously, "I need you to come with me for a moment."

"Forgive me sire, but I need to stay here while the doctor looks at Dwyer, he needs to be paid."

"Your pay is too small for doctor fees, I'll pay him myself," He stepped over to be in the sight of the man, "I'm sure you can wait to tell her what his diagnosis is, we'll be ready in a moment if you'd stay."

"Of course."

"Oh gods, thank you." She said and hastily stood up.

Xander left the room and we followed, and without a single word we had come back to our bedroom where he locked the door, leaving our retainers stuck inside with us.

He seemed panicked in his movements as he grabbed a book from drawer and ripped out a page. He grabbed a quill and ink and sat them at the one-chaired-table. He scrawled between the lines hastily, his neat handwriting now anything but. It seemed as if the cursive and flowing script he always used wasn't his natural way of writing after all.

"I don't trust what my father will be doing once he tries to find Flora. Only the gods know, but my biggest fear is that he'll involve Dwyer, something I wouldn't be surprised of. If that happens, I want you to escape. No, I order you to escape with him. He dropped the pen into the ink and blew on the paper to help the ink dry. He handed it to her. She squinted at it.

"What is this?"

"Directions through the tunnels." He moved to the bed and slid open the false panel. "The one I had formed out of the castle was rather straight forward, there's only two differing paths unless you get into the walls of the castle, but I've it locked. The way out is free for everyone to get through since the door can be broken easily. After that you can get into the second tunnel meant for the castle that leads into the underground portion of Windmire." He closed the panel and tapped the piece of paper she held, "These directions will lead you to the secret village fastest. Take Dwyer and find a woman named Cassita. She sells flowers and baked goods in the western corners."

"What would she do?"

"She'd give you and Dwyer refuge. Just tell her of my name. She was once a servant to my mother and I, she'll help you without question."

Felicia's eyes widened and tears well up in her eyes. She bit at her lip before suddenly hugging him. An action that took him so off guard he nearly fell.

She looked up to him, tears running down her face as she laughed solemnly.

"Thank you, Lord Xander, thank you!" She let out a soft sob and pulled away hastily, "I must repay you someway."

"Keep the child alive, it's all I ask."

"But, what if the King find out you've tried to help me if this has to play out?"

"Then I'd send Corrin to stay with you." Without another word he went back to his dresser and found a purple bag, heavy with coins. "Pay the doctor what he requires, save the rest for when you need it. Surely this alone could keep you well set down there for weeks..." He muttered. She opened her mouth to thank him, but he quickly began again and politely requested the band of people to leave. They exited immediately and we were left alone.

I sat down on the bed and thumbed at the edge of the red comforter.

"I thought you had no idea of the tunnels?"

He sighed and sat beside me, and looked towards the door. His face was grim; seemingly expectant of someone to burst inside at any moment.

"I didn't want to give you any ideas of me taking you down there, but truthfully there are few corners I don't know. My mother, she had extensive knowledge of the area, and though I only ever visited it a few times, I had the maps she made memorized before they were burned. Even so, it's a maze of traps and dead ends, still filled with areas even my mother didn't know. We never even knew how far they stretched, some believed one central line led all the way to the border, but of all the tales she told, I never believed that one."

I watched his features soften, and I decided to change the subject.

"Thank you for helping her... But why would you risk so much for Dwyer, even when you hardly seem to know him?" How often must Xander really go against his father? It seems so often you'd think it to be his second nature... though it's nearly always to be some benefit to someone else or to keep them from his own father's cruelness.

"I've seen too many children cry at the front of my father, I won't have anymore."

The innocent way he had worded it made every inch of me shiver in dread. He sighed and I watched him place a hand on the bed between us.

"Are you scared?"

He smiled softly.

"Of course. I could be killed for this. Felicia, Dwyer, Niles, even you could." He smiled softly, "Everyone is just some pawn to him... what do we matter besides his gain?" He looked to his hands, "Is it idiotic for me to hold on to hope that he'd suddenly shift back to what he once was?" he laughed, "It is. No matter who I am to him, he will always be my king. Never a father. It's childish to think otherwise."

My fingertips brushed against his, and he looked down to our hands.

"I want you to know," He took a single finger into his hand, and traced his thumb down it, "that you will always be safe from him. You've nothing to fear, little princess."

 

The irony of it nearly made me chuckle.

 

 

 


	14. Intent

It was only a moment after that, that my emotions started to run wild. My mind was a jumbled mess with the possibilities of what Xander could endure in the following days. I saw the dim memory of his bloodied and weak face as soldiers threw him in our room, and I nearly vomited when my stomach lurched from the fear of seeing it again. The stress and anxiety made my body tingle as my mutt transformation began. I only noticed it when sitting began to be painful.

I shot up from the bed with a gasp.

Xander looked up to me with a confusion expression, "Are you alright?"

My face reddened, and I felt my dress grow tight against my chest. I backed towards the bathroom door keeping my back away from him. I held my pendant tightly, and my scale covered fingertips broke my secret. With a quiet 'oh' he tilted his head slightly.

"Why do you run away from me?" How could it be he wasn't openly scared now? We were a day away from facing Garon. He was mere hours away from having his secret revealed, yet his voice hardly trembled.

I shook my head and bumped against the door. He didn't need to deal with me now. He had other things to worry about and I didn't need to be one of them, besides, I was a horrific sight to behold. What sane man would even want to glance towards me?

My face grew hot and my head began to pound as I tried desperately to revert what was occurring. My hand fumbled with the doorknob as he stood up and drew nearer to me. My back began to throb as the dress began to restrain me. My attempts to calm myself were futile, and I simply gave up. Hastily, I turned around and giggled the door to no avail.

"Damn it, j-just open!" I muttered. It was jammed, no doubt from the influx of maids that entered our room to find the damn tunnel entrance.

"Corrin-" He was just behind me. "-tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing." I said stubbornly. I moved closer to the wood and nearly hunched over the doorknob. My hands held it tight even whilst my nails grew and darkened.

"Tomorrow is scaring you isn't it?" he asked softly.

I bit at my lips. "No." I lied. He didn't need to know what I knew of his situation, nor did he need to know that was what I was fearing. I let out a groan as the fabric restraining me made a pop, before a quick sound of ripping filled the air. It wasn't enough to set me free, but enough to require mending on the item. I didn't have on a corset luckily, but the dress was still one that needed to be tied.

Without a word of warning, Xander brushed my hair to the side and began untying my binds, though with a single hand he struggled. I let out a whimper as the fabric constricted me, my claws dug into my hand.

"Please be fast." I croaked.

He let out a groan. "Give Camilla my apologies." Before I could even wonder what he meant, I felt him worsen the rip on my side, and felt cold air hit my back as the dress fell down to my feet completely. Though the pain subsided, humiliation soon took its place. 

I was nearly naked in front of him. 

I let out a screech and tried the bathroom door once more before shrinking down onto my knees and covering myself with my wings as best I could. I covered my chest and stared with wide eyes at the floor.

"Gods- I didn't think- I'm sorry, I didn't mean t-" Xander was cut off by a knocking at out door. I went stiff. Without thinking, I rushed inside the closet and slammed the door shut just in time to avoid our guests.

"A-ah! Niles, Laslow!" Xander exclaimed, his voice cracking like a teenager. I would've laughed were it not for my current situation. "What are you doing here?" His voice turned strained.

"Some soldiers handed us your things." Laslow said, suspicion radiating off of him.

"Where is the princess?" Niles asked. I could visualize the smirk he held.

"Oh, s-she had decided to stay with Felicia."

"Er-" Laslow cleared his throat, "Sire, we visited in your room hardly half an hour ago, and I was with Felicia whilst she returned to speak with the doctor."

"Oh-" He stumbled blankly over his words before giving up entirely. "Our things please." My fear from a moment ago was pushed into the back of my mind with the sound of his flustered speech. His voice crackled and broke as though he were a different man entirely. I shivered from the effort of holding in a laugh, and hardly noticed that my transformation had gone away entirely.

"Isn't that her dress in the corner, Lord Xander." Niles cooed. Laslow let out a soft laugh as if in realization of the inevitable conclusion one of them would make. Surely Niles knew the moment he stepped inside.

"Sire, there's nothing to be ashamed off. She is your wife after all." Laslow said with a sort of compassion.

Hearing it out loud was miles worse than their quiet understanding.

Niles hummed, as if finding it all humorous, "You didn't have to hide her in the closet, you know. You obviously hadn't gone far. Unless of course-"

My face turned red.

"Gods, Silence your tongue before I do it myself, you craven. We're doing nothing of the sort, she's simply changing, and if I catch either of you speaking about my wife in such a manor again I'll be sure you've no voice to speak of with."

I was caught off guard so hastily from his tone change, that the laughter went still in my chest.

"Yes, Sire." With a shuffle and a moment of nothingness, the door shut. Xander sighed heavily. I heard his footsteps tap towards me, and I held the doorknob in case he were to open it.

"They've left. Do you need my help?"

"No, I just need to change."

"Yes..." He sighed, "I-..." he cut off his words before mumbling, "-never mind."

I gave it only a moment of thought before turning around, set on getting dressed more than deciphering him. I willed fear into my chest, and my pendant began it's soft glow again. I held it up and waded through Xander's things in search of my own clothes, after a few minutes of going over the bountiful outfits, my own were nowhere

"Xander," I called out, "my clothes are gone."

"What?"

"They're no where to be found in here." I didn't wish to put the blame on anyone, but my mind couldn't help but wonder to the maids when they had no doubt ravaged the room for the tunnel's entrance. Did they steal my clothes? I shook my head. Gods, what would I do? Everything I brought to the border was dirtied or ripped. I would have to wait to have new things until Camilla returned.

"I'll grab one of Camilla's dresses, wait there."

"Of course." I muttered, holding back the sarcasm that wished to run free. Did he expect me to run after him in my small clothes? The door clicked shut before I could ask. 

I crossed my arms and let my pendant fall against me. His shirts brushed against me as I made my way back to the door. I couldn't help but notice the overwhelming scent of spice, stronger than even our bed, surrounding me. Without much thought, I thumbed a soft sleeve. The action soon went from touching to fully placing the item over me. 

I buttoned only two buttons as to cover my chest, then let my arms fall at my side. It was long enough to be a dress worn by the women of the court, well, by my standards of height at least. Most of the women were heads taller than me, but none came close to Xander, save for Camilla that was. I let out a soft laugh at the thought of women simply wearing some puffy shirt, and rolled up the sleeves. If only I could see how ridiculous I looked.

I laughed and did a small twirl, letting the tails of his shirt float out around me. It was short lived, as I stilled once I heard the door open.

"Corrin, I found you a dress." Xander said

"Oh!" I stepped to the door and opened it just a crack. I reached out and had one of the sleeves slip down to my wrist. 

I can't tell you what had possessed me to open that door or what even urged me to wear the damn shirt, but I'd no thought of either till I saw the white cloth slip down and pool at the base of my palms. My heart stopped and I looked up. Slowly, Xander's eyes trailed up from my arm to my chest, then to my face. His gaze tracing along an invisible line against my skin. His parted lips turned into a soft smile and he sat the dress onto the nearby dresser. I was immobilized by embarrassment, though that didn't faze him.

He gently took my hand and led me from the closet, his smile only growing wider.

"You look quite becoming, Little Princess."

"Please let me change into the dress." I squeaked. I felt humiliated. I was such an idiot.

"I think you look quite nice, although-" He let go of my hand as to button up the shirt just a bit more. I smiled at his etiquette.

"A true gentleman it seems." I said with a nervous giggle. He smiled and took my hands once more, leading me with an unspoken rhythm before twirling me as if we were dancing. I couldn't help but laugh. He shared it with me and began humming a horrible, slower rendition of the song we danced to for show on our wedding night. My grin stretched to my ears as he spun me once more, letting me go after extending his arm. I tried my best to remember exactly what we had done, but quickly gave up and gave him a bubbly bow. He held out his hand as he waltzed towards me. I took it and followed along as he forgot the steps just as much as me.

He turned his head away and did his best to stifle a laugh as he place a hand at my waist and we moved slowly across the room. I let out a knowing puff of air as he spun me once more and did his best to dip me one handed, luckily when I was dropped, we were just at the edge of the bed. I bounced back on it with a giddy laugh and watched him with a bright smile. 

He rest one hand beside my leg. His eyes glittered as he looked into my eyes.

"We should go to the ballroom, hmm?"

"Why don't we embarrass ourselves in private?"

He laughed and leaned in closer. "Come now, it's been ages since I was publicly humiliated. I could even  take you out in your wonderful attire."

I giggled, "Yes and we'll have Nicholai join us in case you drop me again."

"Ha!" He grew even closer, "Don't worry, little princess, I'd catch you."

"I'm counting on it." I said. I swallowed as we stayed locked in our stances. My heart raced in time with his quick glances to my mouth. I licked my lips subconsciously and his lashes grew heavy over his eyes. His lips parted and I slowly inched towards him. "Xander." I whispered. 

When he blinked, it was as if he were blinking the intentions from his mind, visibly his eyes shifted.His jaw tightened, and he pulled away. He took a step away from me. I looked down to his chest and awkwardly stood up.

"I should probably change."

"Y-yes." 

I got up and shuffled back into the closet. My heart racing. My mind wanting.

I wished he had kissed me. It was a selfish afterthought, but I couldn't keep myself from wanting it. I shook my head, but slowly, a soft smile crossed my face. I'd never seen him so carefree. I stifled a giggle at the fresh memory of him singing and slipped the dress over my head. Luckily it was more like a silky nightdress than the normal laced ones of the court. Though the chest was still a bit too large, it seemed as though I were beginning to fill it out in the sides. 

I flattened the dress down at my hips and opened the door of the closet, leaving his shirt strung over a hanger. Xander sat at the table, his sword unsheathed examining it. I found a seat on the bed and sat on my hands. I'd nothing more than idle chatter to go off.

"Is your dominant hand broken?"

"I'm ambidextrous, but, it is the better of the two."

"You need to see a doctor."

He hummed slightly, "Later." I crossed my arms but he began again before I could scold him, "They brought your box in with us."

"Really!" I stood up and scurried to the table. I looked around the items till I found the small box sitting neatly in the middle. I picked it up, and a somber feeling hit me. The memory of Ryoma handing me the box was blurred and made me dizzy just by thinking of it. I slowly sat it down. 

Xander looked up from his work.

"What's wrong?"

I rubbed my fingers together as my eyes followed the Hoshidan crest. What if my sibling's had changed as much as Ryoma? What would I do if my last bit of family... hated me?

"I-I just realized how hungry I was is all." I forced a smile, "I think I'm going to sneak something from the kitchens." I used to always sneak sweet rolls and candies in the night at home. I've never even tried to here, though I feel as though I'd lose my hands if I even tried. Xander stood up.

"Let me join you."

After a moment of consideration, I nodded and he held open the door for me. Sneaking food turned into finding ourselves in a small feast brought on by a 'good luck' from one of the chefs. He had apparently known of our predicament as well and thought it best to feed us before we were to face Garon. I could only wonder as to how large breakfast could be.

We had a quiet meal of venison and wine in the dinning room. We were alone at the thousand-chaired-table, and every noise echoed out into the void. It was hard to believe that the table could one day be completely filled with people, so hard I even asked Xander between bites of food.

"Yes, easily." He replied just before taking a small sip of wine.

"How many times has it been?" I asked. I'd always been intrigued by the pure size of Nohr's castle. Truly it was larger than Hoshido's by an insane margin.

"Hundreds." I nearly choked on my drink. He sat back in his seat and looked around the room, a smile crossing his face. "My father was a fan of lavish parties in my youth. He'd have them over every event. Marriage, holidays, births, birthdays, anything. Though the peasants weren't allowed to dine with us, they could still join the festivities in the ball room."

"What was it like?"

"Risqué, but... joyous." he leaned forward and held out his arm, motioning across the room, "They'd dim every light and set up candles and torches along the walls. Dancers and women of the opera would preform all night long and wine was seemingly endless."

My eyes must have shimmered from the image painted in my mind.

"It must have been wonderful!"

"Ah.. well," He relaxed in his chair. "When I was a child I thought it was, but once I approached say... 9, I found it to be more of a nuisance than anything." He picked up a bit of food onto his fork, "I wasn't very keen on people." He took a bite, and I looked back down to my plate. 

I poked at it with disinterest. I was hardly hungry, but I still decided on picking at the venison before me. I dropped my fork down gently and held my glass of wine. I took a long drink, one interrupted by the loud crash of the door opening beside us.

 **BOOM**. The door recoiled back as it was nearly hit off it's hinges. In a near instant Xander was in front of me. Steaming with anger stood Gunter, the door slamming behind him. The sight didn't seem to quell Xander's defense. Gunter stalked forward, staring down Xander as if he were a bandit trespassing on sacred ground. I slid back in my seat as fear settled in my chest. This meant only one thing.

Xander watched the man as he approached us, slowly, deliberately making each step echo within his armor. Intimidation that made me shrink in my seat. It stirred up hardly dust in Xander.

"I expected such blatant idiocy from the girl. She's been here naught a season, but you," His voice was dark as he straightened up to full height in front of Xander. The older man was taller than him, but only enough to validate looking down on him, "the red paint that covers the walls is thick enough to be your blood. Throughout all your life, hardly a misdeed did you commit that truly deserved King Garon's punishment. I thought it all made you smart, but how wrong I was."

"I have my reasons Gunter, I didn't do it on a whim-"

"Do you think he'll care?" Gunter yelled. "All he'll know is that you went behind his back for god knows how long, and that action has helped that girl escape!"

"I know I made a mistake in telling more than who needed to know, but it had a purpose. It was never made to go against him!"

"When he finds out, he's going to kill you!" He said in a strangled voice. Xander's shoulders fell.

"He doesn't know?"

"No. One of the maids went to me asking if I'd tell him. It's only a matter of time till this gets to Iago's ears and you had better pray you tell your father before he does."

"We'll tell him in the morning." He let out a long sigh, "Thank you, w-"

"Don't brush me off, child." Gunter snapped. He took a step forward, "You think just because he'll know tomorrow, I won't give you my own punishment today."

"I'm not a child. I don't need your scolding."

"You're acting enough of one to be considered one!"

"I had no choice Gunter!" He placed a hand at his chest, "I was scared! I admit it, I was horrified."

"You can still be smart when you're fearful!" Gunter countered. Xander's voice grew thick with emotion as he spoke through clenched teeth.

"There were worse things I could've done, Gunter! I could've run away, but no, I dug a damn tunnel with four other men for three years."

"'There were worse things-' It doesn't justify anything-"

"How would you have reacted if your own father had beat you senseless just to let off steam?!" His voice went from quiet, innocent, to frustrated in a single click, "You carried me to my room when I was in too much shock to move."

Hesitantly I put my hand on his arm. He glanced back to me, gaze soft, as if silently telling me he was fine. He was lying, and I knew he was. I kept my hand on him even when he turned back to the man in front of us

"I..." Gunter's gaze remained hardened, and he crossed his arms. "That was nearly ten years ago Xander. Is that when you built it?"

Xander's voice was devoid of all interest or emotion, "It took over three years."

"And it's stable?"

"Support beams every three feet."

Gunter let out an exasperated breath. He chuckled lowly, "If only I could've seen it."

Xander stepped away from me and sat back down. "Maybe he won't collapse it."

"And risk someone else escaping through it? My Xander, how your ignorance has gone unaltered over the years. You should know your own father better than anyone else."

He watched Gunter with hard eyes. "You think because I'm his eldest, I'm in some sort of favor? That, I somehow know anything?" He laughed dryly, "I wish I did, but what few things I can predict, I take advantage of and there is no shame in it."

"You have allowed your own wife to commit treasonous acts and smuggle things across the borders! Don't think I don't know the things you've brought over!"

"So I helped one girl hold onto her family by her own mother's wishes!"

"Her connection with that damned King has caused us more problem than anything else!"

"Without them we could've been brought into war!"

"We nearly were with them, Xander! King Ryoma is mere moments away from declaring it."

I clenched my fists and stood up. I grabbed my pendant and cried out, "You're wrong!" I dropped my arms down, "He doesn't have the nerves, the gall, to even try!"

"Wasn't the rumor that he was who wished to wage war upon us whilst your father was gone? Didn't your mother keep him away from it?" He stepped towards me, "And did he not just lose control over major trade routes, and lose a duel to his biggest rival? Tell me, Corrin, what was your mindset when you first came to Nohr?" He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes, "What has been smashed into your head since birth? Ah, there was a saying, what was it?"

I lowered my head. Father said it many a time when I was younger, Ryoma followed suite when he left. Gods, even Takumi spat it. We all knew it by heart.

" _Filthy Nohrian scum._ " I muttered. 

"That's what I thought. So, tell me why he wouldn't wage war after all we've done? What makes you think he'll change so easily and accept that we are not represented by our king?"

So, Gunter resented him as well. It seemed the only men loyal would be Iago and Xander, though it seemed as though the prince was slowly freeing himself...

I sighed, "He changes suddenly, randomly, surly it wouldn't take much!"

"What pr-"

"Please," Xander spouted, "Gods, let's quit arguing." He clutched his injured hand tightly, "We've enough to deal with in the morning, just-...  **I**  need a moment of rest."

The elder man turned his eyes to him, glaring. He scoffed and shook his head.

"Xander, we aren't done here." Gunter said harshly.

"I know."

He let out a gruff sigh and left us, still fuming, though when he turned, I could just barely see the flicker of compassion- no, pity, one so deep it made lines crease his forehead. When the door closed, I herd a small grunt escape Xander. 

I turned to him to see his injured hand nearly being crushed by his uninjured one. I reached across the table and gently held his wrist. His grip hesitantly loosened and I tore him away. I stood up, and always keeping my hand wrapped around him, walked around. I kneeled down, and took his other wrist, with a carefulness so intense I hardly touched him. 

In silence I examined his broken knuckles. The skin was purple and swelled, and somehow his dulled fingertips had dug so deep into the skin that it had begun to bleed. I grabbed his napkin and dabbed away the crimson staining him, then placed the back of his hand in it. I flipped over his hand and looked at his palm. I looked at every wrinkle like a prophet would a patron.

I traced a small finger down a crease of his hand.

"You have a long life line, longer than mine even."

"Corrin-"

I shushed him. His voice was filled with a distraught I wouldn't let him speak of now. Like he said, he needed rest, and dwelling on tomorrow would do nothing but keep him awake.

I grabbed the two ends of the fabric and tied them tightly together. I released one of his hands but kept a loose grip one the other whilst I stood up, leading him to do the same. He looked drained, horribly so. Surely if I didn't lead him away from that room he'd have slept in it and done god knows what to himself, and from the lack of concern to his hand, he might have chopped it off even. In this state it needed to be tended to immediately. 

I didn't waste time. The moment I found a maid I requested that she bring us a doctor in no less than an hour, then drug the man back to our rooms. 

It was dark when we entered and the chill of the castle had already set in. I sighed and grabbed the key from atop the dresser. I locked the door and decided to leave it inside to make it just a moment faster to let in the doctor once they came. I decided it'd be acceptable if I lost my more formal wear for the night and side stepped to the dresser. I brought off my circlet and twisted off my ring, setting it just in the middle of the twisted metal. When I turned around, Xander sat looking down to his hand, his face dull. 

Whatever energy he had was drained by Gunter, and whatever that man had brought had taken its toll. My heart ached for him as I stepped to his side. I reached up and took the gnarled black item from his head. I reached towards his hand, as we both often took off our ring at night, but he stopped me.

"I want to wear it tonight." He muttered. I swallowed, and gave him a nod. I retuned to the dresser and sat the circlet down. I did my best to quell the feeling blooming in my chest when I made my way back to him. I hoisted myself up onto the mattress beside him and sat with my feet dangling, shrinking in the silence. It was after a few minutes I began to build up the courage to slide back and slip under the covers, but just as I brought my feet up, Xander's lips parted.

"I don't want you to worry about me."

I furrowed my brow, "Why not?" I had every reason to worry. After seeing his scars, after witnessing what's been done to him, what person wouldn't worry? He'd no right to even think I wouldn't after what I've seen with or without his knowledge. He is unstable, so much so I fear he could topple over in the coming days if the stress is enough.

"You've too many other things to focus on. I don't want you wasting time or energy on me, now or ever."

I turned my whole body to face him. My face was stern with anger. He had no right to say it, no right, no warrant, no reason to even think I couldn't or could even consider going about my time without worrying for his well-being, simply, for him. 

"So what then, does that mean you wish for me to leave you now? To put that circlet back on your head and push you back to the dinning room to return on your own? I could sleep in Camilla's room from now on, and take back all my tears, or even all my words." He watched me stiffly, and slowly I watched his hand begin to grip another. I sighed, and grabbed his uninjured wrist once more, I separated them, and he gave no struggle, "My worry is what caused all of," I shook my head in realization, "-of this." I leaned in closer to him, "My worry is what made you human in my eyes. It's what made me change the idea that you were some mindless monster, and instead someone who could die, someone who could feel, and has felt more than any of us ever will. My worry made me realize how much I cared for you." My fingers slackened and I put my hand in his, "Even considering that I stop worrying about you, would change everything."

His fingers closed around mine. One of my hands slipped up his arm and rested at his shoulder. I rose up to my knees as to face him better, "And frankly," my voice was soft, quiet even, "I don't think you want me to stop, do you?" My hand slipped to the back of his neck, and his head fell as if out of shame. I cupped his cheek and furrowed my brows with compassion. "But there's nothing wrong with that, Xander." I held his hand just a bit tighter as vigor ran through my veins, "It's not selfish, you aren't stealing anything from anyone, but even if you think you are," My eyes fell to his chest, "be selfish for once in your life, because you of all people have never had the chance to."

There was only a single moment of silence before his hitched request,

"Can I kiss you."

Warmth spread out into the very pit of my stomach, and gave him a timid reply, "Yes."

There was no warning afterwards, nor was there even a sign, there was only the moment his lips softly fell against mine. When he pulled away a moment later, I was brought into his lap and held, though gently, whilst his kisses shifted down to my neck. I held onto his shirt as he peppered wet kisses along my jaw.

I withheld a gasp as I felt his teeth graze the soft skin just under my ear. I shifted and moved upwards till I was sat on his thigh. I felt his lips part and begin to kiss more roughly in that same spot. 

"Xander." I whispered as I felt the pressure grow against my neck. He was claiming my neck, every corner till I was melted from his lust. I panted as his lips slowly trailed upwards. His body engulfed me completely as he craned his neck down to kiss me. I arched my back and strained my neck if only it meant I'd feel him more.

He put a hand at my back and leaned forward till I was laid down. He pulled away only to catch his breath. When his lips hit mine, the moment was different, and our intentions had subtly changed. The only indicator I had was my own actions when he allowed us to flip. I stradled his hips and trailing kisses down from his neck I undid the buttons of his shirt. My heart raced as he shucked it off and stared up to me, chest rising and falling with anticipation. 

My eyes trailed down as I examined his muscular torso. With a feather's touch a hand fell at my waist and we made eye conact. They were glazed over wih lust, and I realized something.

I couldn't do it. 

That look we both shared, it wasn't love, it wasn't compassion, gods, maybe it was at first, but now our situation, what day today was or tomorrow were an after thought to the present. The present was favorable, but the future grim.

Though I had already given myself away, and denied everyone -even myself acceptance that it had ever happened, I wasn't prepared to rekindle that feeling, not yet, and he, he was still at war. The kiss that sent him off no doubt still smoldering in his brain, because it meant something, this meager moment of ecstacy meant as little as the bed sheets we'd laid on.

And I couldn't go on.

I slipped off from his lap and sat on the edge of the bed. I sat on my hands, let my feet dangle, and watched Xander slip his shirt back on in the corner of my eye. He sat beside me when he was done and stayed in silence, staring at the table filled with our things. I doubted a single word could've described what I felt in the moment. It made me want to shy away, yet desperately wanted me to find my way back onto his lap as well. 

I pushed it down as much as I could and focused on the faint pulsating of my pendant that mimicked my heart's song till a knock came at our door.

A woman that managed to rival even Xander's height entered once I unlocked the door. She bowed and gave us a sleepy smile after brushing a whisp of charcoal hair from her face that had managed to escape its ponytail.

"Good evening, Lady Corrin," She turned from me and looked to Xander, "Lord Xander," Her eyes fell to his hand, "Well, I assume I'm here for you. Let me see your hand please, Sire."

Xander held out his injured hand and she untied the napkin. She hissed and shook her head wildly.

"My teacher told me to always give time to heal wounds on their own, but this is-" She cringed, "-well, frankly it's horrid. Besides, you're a busy man, surely you need that hand for something." A piece of hair fell in front of her face and she blew it away, "I'm going back into the city to fetch a cleric, stay here. They may not fix the break, but they can do something..."

She grabbed her bag and opened the door to leave, two soldiers stood in her path and she bowed, giving a small apology as she squeezed through them. The two men walked inside and bowed.

"Yes?" Xander asked, standing up tall.

"The two of you have been summoned to the throne room."


	15. Muddied Pride

"Give us a moment. We'll be ready in-"

"Forgive us, Sire, but you're needed now." One of the soldiers said curtly. Xander let out a huff and took a step forward. He placed his hand on the door frame and leaned in. He towered over them.

"Surely you can spare us a-"

"No." He placed a hand at the hilt of his sword and looked to him with fearless eyes. They must be a part of Garon's personal army to be able to withstand him. "We've been ordered to deliver you without any delay," He showed us the shining metal of his blade. "and to do whatever necessary to bring you to him."

Xander's jaw tightened as he examined the two, there was a thick moment of silence as they all stood there, watching, glaring, before he finally turned to me and stepped away. He held out an arm, and I gave him a pleading look. I wasn't ready for this.

"It's time we met with my father."

I gripped my pendant tight, but his arm tighter as we left our only safe haven led by two impatient escorts. They ordered us to speed up nearly a million times before we even passed the library, but I could hardly keep up with Xander's large strides. A single step of his made up triple of my own which caused the men to breath down my neck. The faint smell of rum always wafting over my shoulder.

I tried to push them from my mind and focus on anything else but quickly came to a realization that the two men didn't want me to, because after just a few minutes of being free from their disgusting breath and being confident enough to let go of Xander, they came back, crowding even closer. Through quiet murmurs they spoke our coming futures, and dulled out insults only I could hear. 

"Foreign trash."

"Hoshidan shit."

Were they not baring swords, I'd have no doubt attacked them for it, but instead, I was left with a pit in my stomach that only grew larger as we turned the final corner, Xander only now beginning to slow. Our footfalls echoed in time with the slow beating of my heart. Every pump felt like a weight slamming down on me as I tried to repress my fear. All too quickly we descended the steps into the pit before the throne room doors, and they towered over us. 

Gunter waited just outside and approached us with his arms crossed.

"The hell were you?" He hissed. I flinched as a scream bellowed through the closed doors. I swallowed and wiped my sweaty palms on the sides of my dress. My fingers trembled as I cracked them nervously. Another flitting yelp cracked through and Gunter sneered."It doesn't matter." His tone lost its edge. He shook his head. "The girl has had him too busy to notice your absence."

"Ha he summoned anyone else?" Xander wrung his hands. "Niles, or maybe the boy even?" 

"Only Niles, but he's already finished with him."

My heart fell, and my mind began to race. Gods, Niles, what could he have done to you? I rushed to Gunter and looked to him with pleading eyes.

"Where is he? Is he alright?" Panic filled my voice. Gunter moved passed me and put a hand on the door. "Is he alive?" If Garon was fearless in killing Xander, who was safe from his wrath?

"He'll live so long as he gets seen to. As for where he is, he's stuck inside till Garon dismisses him, as is everyone"

"How long has he been in there?" I clasped my hands together and leaned forward. I could  feel the determined worry burning behind my eyes.

"Garon summoned him well over an hour ago."

"What about Felicia?"

"Nearly two now."

My nails dug into my flesh as I tensed. I let out a sharp breath and looked down to my hands. Fear settled in my gut, before rising in my throat like bile. I couldn't focus on the two and their budding conversation, no, I could only think my maid and my retainer, my friends, were in such a situation because of my attempt at kindness... and I was too terrified to run in there and help. When it mattered least, I was ready to spit fire towards Garon, but now... my legs shook and my stomached ached so terribly I feared even breathing heavily would send me into a downward spiral. He could have Iago at her side, torturing her, whilst Niles lay dying on the floor just across from her, and I would be useless to stop him. 

I gripped my pendant tightly as I watched the two men step to the door and brace to enter. Xander turned and spoke to me, but I couldn't hear over the thrum of my heart in my ears. He watched me for three beats, then turned back, his body heaving with a sigh I couldn't hear. His mouth moved rapidly as he spoke to Gunter, then clamped shut as he gave me one final glance. 

They pushed open the large wall-like door and immediately upon entry a shrieking yelp spurted from above us. Wailing sobs broke through the air and all the breath left in my chest turned stagnant. I inhaled and took a step forward. The door closed behind us, and my legs locked up. That was it. That single movement was the last thing I could muster.

"Little Princess?" Xander whispered. He stepped in front of me. His eye flitted over my face, then after a stiff moment, he got down onto one knee and looked up to me.  He took my fingers and held them. "Don't be afraid." He murmured. "No matter what happens today, I  _will_ protect you. You have nothing to fear I swear to you." He lowered his eyes and gave my knuckles a lingering kiss. When he surfaced, I saw a look filled so deeply with compassion and care that Kaze couldn't rival even in our most tender moments. There before me Xander showed off a break in his defenses so wide a single word could fell him. His eyes seemed to sparkle as he looked at me, and a longing expression fell over him. His hand slipped up my arm and brushed my cheek. "I will always protect you." He murmured.

My heaving breath stopped,my racing mind came to a sketching stop as I stared into those brown eyes whilst my heart fell to the very depths of my chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly as to hide my budding tears.

He seemed taken aback, but placed a hand on my back.

"How could I ever repay you?" I whispered, my voice muffled by the fabric at his chest. I could faintly hear the rapid beating of his heart and his short breaths.

"Your presence alone is payment enough."

I smiled ruefully against as a tear fell down my cheek.

I pulled away from him and hastily wiped away my tears before he noticed. He watched me with that longing, loving look, till it was destroyed by the booming voice of Garon requesting him.

Without any hesitation Xander hurried up the stairs, leaving me far behind with just my thoughts as I finalized my courage to enter with him, but I didn't need courage, no, today I only need the look in his eyes and the sound of his voice to guide me. It was that innocence that he still held onto, the one thing that hadn't been trashed by this world that he trusted me enough to hold in my hands, that allowed me to be able to even breath in this time. It was in knowing that he was going to hold onto it before his father where he would be attacked most, it was in remembering his eyes, it was in his small kiss against my hand did I decide something, I couldn't let Garon hurt that man anymore, not for my sake nor anyone else's. So, I hiked up my dress, and ran up the stairs, falsely believing I was truly ready for what was to come.

The torches and candelabras stuck against pillars and walls were warm against my face. My heart raced double as fast as my mind, and my pendant burned with the heat of something I couldn't understand. Step after step I brought myself up, encouraged my the murmur of men above me till I came to the very top.

I rose past the peak to see Felecia in a crumpled sobbing mess on the floor. Her head was pressed to the dark marble, her white knuckles a stark contrast to it. Just across from her lay Niles, who rested limply against a pillar with only a hand over his eye to signal that he was still breathing. Crimson stained the side of his hair, and his nose bled profusely. My eyes slowly rose upwards to find Iago just behind him. He stood in the darkness of the room, hidden behind a tall rising pillar of granite. His single eye seeming to glow as he watched Garon in the crest of the catastrophe. Just in the corner of my vision I could see that dreaded statue mounted to the ceiling. It overlooked the King like a god, and nearly seemed to smile at the scene laid out under him.

Garon stalked, circling around Xander with an unreadable expression. Xander looked forward, his eyes avoiding those of his father. When the man spoke, a blazing inferno was with held behind them so intense I took a step back.

"Where is the servant girl?" His voice was even, though strained.

"She could be anywhere, Father."

"Then where  **could** she be?"

"The mountains, the borders, no wall can hold her back."

"No." He hissed. Xander let out a stiff breath and glanced to meet his gaze as he stopped in front of him.

"What do you want me to say?" He said behind grit teeth. Garon stepped forward.

"Where is she."

"I don't know, Sire." Garon reeled back and smacked him hard against the face, before grabbing it roughly and tilting it upward. Sweat pooled at Xander's brow as he gripped his wrist tight. "I told you I don't know. What don't you understand?" He ripped himself from his grasp and took a step back. He rubbed his jaw momentarily. "If you've already read her note to Felecia than you know more than I do! Or," His eyes narrowed, "do you simply want me to say the obvious assumption so you may blame the eventual ravage and rape of her village on me, though I've no part in her escape?"

"No part?" Garon let out a cold laugh that forced goosebumps onto my skin. "You are the sole reason she was able to escape me."

"If you must use the word escape, there may be a valid reason for her to leave."

Garon delivered another slap to his face so rough that his nose began to bleed. Xander let out a grunt, but was mostly unfazed. He wiped away the blood with the back of his sleeve and flicked away whatever droplets formed on his wrist. It splattered onto the floor just across from Felicia.

"Tell me boy, why did you have that tunnel present in the first place?"

"For the safety of others in war."

"Then why wouldn't you tell me?"

"I thought it would be best if you were in the dark."

Garon smiled darkly. "You're lying to me, and I know you are."

Xander's jaw tightened and I went stiff. Even I knew he was becoming nervous. I saw his eyes twitch as if in realization of his simple, near unreadable tic. Garon let out an inhuman growl.

He pushed Xander against a great stone pillar and Xander grabbed his hand as he attempted to wrap it around his neck.

"It was there to spy on me wasn't it?"His voice was alarmingly calm. He pushed harder, but Xander managed to keep his fingers at bay. "Or was it to send some murderer into my chambers? You've always craved my control, why wouldn't you rip it from me?"

"I wouldn't think of it." Xander hissed as his struggle became more apparent. "You're being irrational!" He yelled.

"Where do the tunnels go, dear Xander? How long have you plotted against me?"

"I admit they go through the throne room, but-" My heart stopped. His eyes widened at his confession and he began to let out a hurried explanation that never quite made it past Garon's ears.

Something beneath Garon's eyes flickered, and he pushed past Xander's defense as though it were nothing. His hand slammed into his throat, and Xander clawed at him so fiercely the greenish skin at his wrist began to bleed a blackened blood that smelled so ferociously of rot Xander palled and stiffed back a gag. Bile rose in my throat, and I turned away and covered my mouth.

What was this man?

**"You have gone behind my back for how long Xander?!"**

He grit his teeth and shook his head as he choked on his words. Garon's grip tightened before he threw him across the floor as though he were a doll. Xander slid against the floor and gripped his collarbone as he hacked and coughed desperately.

**"For how long!?"**

"The tunnel has stood for nearly a decade, but it was never my intention to use it against you-" He said through gasps.

 **"I don't believe you."** He growled. His voice was inhuman, as if a thousand voices laid over his at once. Xander's eyes widened in a fear so blatant you could hear the terror in his mind. Felicia shot up and scrambled away, and Niles cracked open an eye. From his belt Garon grabbed a dagger and rushed towards Xander.

Like a snap, my mind flat-lined, and everything in me turned cold. I had only a glimpse of the rapid shifting of one arm as the scales exploded over them like a shock wave. My body moved on its own as I bolted to Garon. I slid in front of Xander and ripped the weapon from him with my new powerful arm. I shoved him back as hard as I could. He fell backwards only a few feet, and whilst he was in the air I felt my much longer, more dangerous, arm shift to be more docile as the complete mutt transformation came over me. My wings grew and pushed down the loose edge of my dress, and I spread them out wide. I crouched down and grabbed the dagger. I kept cover over Xander, and watched Garon rise to his feet with a death glare.

"Stay away from him!" I yelled, my voice taking on a feral tone. My teeth nicked my tongue and I tasted blood.

"Corrin-" I cut off the king.

"Quiet!" I demanded. I watched Garon like a hawk. "You'll do your best to keep your distance."

He laughed. "Or what?" I panted and looked around the room. What did I have to bargain with? He cared about nothing, no one, not even his damn children, and what could I do to even begin to challenge him? I was some musky foreign whore for his son or whoever he decided could influence my children best,

My eyes widened ever so slightly as realization washed over me. I was the bargaining chip. 

I put the knife to my throat and pressed down hard. Through grit teeth I yelled.

"I'll kill myself!"

Garon went still. My hands shook as I let out a laugh. Xander grabbed my shoulder, and I felt his hand clamp over my own in attempt to rip the weapon away from me. I shoved him back so roughly he let out a grunt when he hit the floor. I backed away to have them both in my line of sight, which only gave me the view of pure horror from both him and Felecia who had raised up her head just to see all the commotion.

"That's right!" I yelled, my voice shook, and my eyes burned. "I know what I am to you! I know how much I'm worth! I heard every word of it the night you choked him!" I admitted. I gripped the handle tighter and swallowed. "I know you need me to make that little army of yours and if I die-" I smiled wildly, "it's all over for your legacy."

Xander moved towards me, and I faced him. His face was filled with horror that he tried to desperately mask with calm"Corrin-"

"Stop. Another step, another word, Xander!" I warned. Tears streamed down my face.

"Listen to the girl." Garon said gruffly. He held out his palms and looked at me somberly. 

"You-" I sobbed as emotion overtook me, "You won't touch him anymore. You won't hurt him anymore, do you understand?" He didn't respond, "Do you understand?!" I yelled.

"Someone must atone for his crimes! That is out of my hands!" He said as though he were innocent. I trembled wildly.

"Then I will! Give me punishment for what he has done!"

Xander's eyes widened and he grabbed his fist. He bit down on his lips as he struggled to keep quiet.

"Fine, now put down the dagger."

"No! That isn't all." I yelled, I stepped towards him, "From this day forth, your bargain with him to take all my punishments has now ended. The terms have now been reversed on my end. You will terrorize him no longer, I am your dummy from this point forward."

"Agreed." His tone faded back into it's normal hardness, though now it was laced with a disgusting interest. "Now drop the dagger."

"You will take me to the dungeons and have someone escort Xander in his room after he has been properly healed by a doctor, then I'll comply." 

Garon snapped his fingers and on cue Iago emerged from the shadows and seized Xander by his arm. He watched me with wide eyes as he disappeared down the stairs. I swallowed thickly and tears dripped from my chin. 

Garon stepped in front of me, and I followed him from the throne room. Gunter watched me in disbelief as we left the pit and rounded the corner to the dungeons decent. Without a word of question the two knights unlocked the doors and allowed us to enter inside. 

The air was damp and cold. The cobble was uneven as dirt and water seeped through the cracks in the floor. My breaths were fast as we took endless turns and stairs into the bottom most layer of the dungeons where after row after row of dim cells laid a wooden door moldy and beaten by age. He held it open for me, and I stepped inside. I watched him closely as he shut it and faced me. I dropped the knife and watched it clatter to the floor as an emotional exhaustion gripped me.  

I hadn't an ounce of fight left inside me.

He grabbed me by my hair and after forcing my on my knees tilted my head back. He examined me similarly to how he did on our first meeting. He opened my mouth and examined my teeth. He yanked my arm and looked at the scales. He pulled at one where the scales and flesh met so roughly I feared it'd rip off from my skin. He dropped my arm and grabbed at the top of my wings. He prodded and pulled at them till I let out a cry. He let go of my hair and grabbed my arm and stood me up. He looked down to me, and I'd never felt so small. Terror burbled in my chest and tears streamed down my face.

He grabbed my pendant and examined it momentarily before dropping it with disinterest. He walked away from me and went to the corner of them room.

I glanced around me hopelessly. It was dark, with only a candle sat on a table in the far corner illuminating us. Chains and various weapons of torture hung on the walls. The putrid smell of iron and rot filled the room. It was safe to say many a man had spent extensive time here.

Would I as well? With this demon at the front lines of my new life, what was in store?

I scared.

Is it wrong to admit that? Or that I wish I had never said anything in the first place? 

I'm horrified of having Xander's scars or seeing what he does in his mind. I don't want to become him, and is it wrong to think that way? 

I wish I were nestled in his arms and could feel the warmth of his hands again. I want his chapped lips against my neck. I want his soothing voice to tell me everything is fine... I want him to be here in this room, wiping away my tears, fighting against his father as he chains me to the wall without a struggle. I want to be anywhere but here when I feel the sharp, agonizing, pain of flesh ripping and the deafening ring of regret. 

 

 

 

I don't remember what happened after the first strike. I don't remember how I got to the bedroom door, or what energy I had used to even stand. I could only feel it in the pain in my feet and the numbness across my back.

I softly jiggled the doorknob, but there was no  answer. A piece of stringy hair fell in front of my face and I watched the dull wood as I mustered up my strength to see him once more.

I weakly knocked, and shook with the effort to stand. The door opened, and I was greeted to Xander. I stared at his chest in a grainy second of silence.

 I had expected him to pick me up and coddle me, scold me even. I had thought he'd have cried in that very moment, but instead he slowly walked from me. I stepped inside, closed the door behind me and stood awkwardly in the middle of the destroyed room. The bed sheets were strewn onto the floor in a pile next to his circlet. The door to the bathroom was opened, though it looked worse for wear with a hinge completely gone.

My eyes slowly shifted to find Xander's. He looked concerned, confused, and grief stricken. His hair was a tussled mess. His fingers twitched, and I watched him struggle to find words.

"You..." He swallowed.He shook his head. "What can I do?" He sounded dumb struck. His eyebrows were knitted in sympathy so deep I could see his muscles strain. "I don't know how to help you. I can't- How can I ease you? Why did you-" He cut himself off and slowly shook his head. "I don't understand what you've done, or why, Corrin, please I-I don't know." He slowly approached me. "Can I even speak, can I even touch you? Am I-... what have I done to push you so far over the edge to want to- to even think to-" His voice cracked and I saw tears well up in his eyes. "Is this all my fault?" He gripped the collar of his shirt. He stopped in front of me and slowly knelt down. "Tell me what possessed you to put that dagger to your throat and push me away? Why did you do this?" he asked with a delicacy so pure he must have feared I was fragile enough to crumble just at words. I swallowed thickly. Humiliation scourged through me. Was it worth it? I saved Xander, didn't I? But was it worth it? I'm just a child, why must I bare his scars? Why did I even think I could?   

What did I think would happen, that the whole world would applaud me for my "sacrifice" and I'd live happily ever after between Garon's thumb and forefinger? This hasn't helped him, this won't help him as I've only angled him further under Garon's control now that I can be injured. I've crippled his only advantage because I thought I could be a hero, and the worst part of it all was... I wasn't sick, or dying, and I didn't feel like the world was spinning or that my ears were ringing. I walked away with scars and humiliation, not some illness, not some simple death. There was so little that was substantial... and I could only walk away with marks on my back and some, insignificant relief that Xander was free from physical pain.

He looked down to the floor and twisted his ring. "I though you were going to commit suicide then and there. I thought it was going to because of me. I-... I thought it was all over-" He bit his lip. "I don't understand, Corrin, tell me why." He got down to his knees and clasped his hands together. "Please!"

"It was a bluff!" I cried out. My voice was rugged and dry. I closed my eyes tightly. "I bluffed because I knew he needed me alive. I thought it was the only way."

"What?"

"I know of your bargain with him. I know what he does to you in my name! I saw him strangle you... I couldn't stand knowing how horribly he treats you and... I thought-... I thought I was doing right by switching our roles.... I thought you would be happier without the constant pain.'

"Happy? How could I be happy knowing he's hurting you!?" He took my shoulders and I looked with wide eyes. His expression softened for just a tick as hand slid up to my face and his thumb stroked my cheek. "It's my  **duty** to keep you safe," His hand fell back to my shoulder and he grit his teeth, "and I will gladly take a god-damned sword for you if that's what it takes!"

"Stop! Please!"  He went still. "If you must, think of this in terms of station, you are to be king one day! I am just a fatherless, bloodless, monster of a- "

"You're my wife!" He argued. He took my hand and held the ring on my finger. "Nothing else in the world matters! I don't care who you came from or what you can turn into! Gods- Do you think I'm scared of you, or that I sleep rigid, horrified you'll rip out my heart with your claws?" he ran a hand through his hair. "Frankly," His tone went harsh, "I don't care. My only concern is that you're safe and I'll do whatever is necessary. If I even think I'm a threat, I'll hobble in the corner and let you be by yourself."

"Do you want me to be happy?" I asked with a voice so small it made his harshness fade into just an after thought.

"Yes, of course, why wouldn't I?" He rubbed my fingers gently.

"Then you need to understand that I can't watch him tear you apart." Tears slipped down my cheeks.

" _You_  don't understand that  _I_  can handle it! After one night, you look ready to pass out. You physically can't handle his attacks! He'll kill you in a matter of weeks no matter your worth to him. I've seen him kill men my age after only days of abuse. Corrin, he will harm you every day if he sees fit. Any mistake, any misstep I make he will use against you. Whatever high ground you thought you gained was just an easier way to fall into his control!"

"Shut up!" I yelled. I shoved his hands away from me and pushed my face into my own. Tears escaped through my fingertips, and I let out a sob. "You think I don't know?!" I whipped my head up to face him. "I have to accept that what I did was nearly useless moments after it was too late!! I only wanted to keep you from harm, was that so terrible!?" I let out a cry of agony as I began to transform. I felt the numbness in my back disappear. I crumpled forward. "Is it so horrible that I wanted to see you live a day without wounds!?" I bit down on my tongue as the pain became unbearable. I felt every cut shift to make room for the transformation pushing through. I gripped my pendant so tight I feared it'd shatter from my strength.

The skin audibly ripped, and I collapsed. I let out a scream through grit teeth. In the corner of my eye I watched Xander jump to his feet, before everything went black.

 

I came to consciousness with a throbbing headache and something I knew I should be worried about, though I couldn't think of what. I slowly cracked open my eyes to dizzily view the darkened room. Situated on my stomach, I could just barely see the open washroom door past Xander's broad outline as he sat, arms and legs crossed, snoring quietly.

There was clean air about me, and I could feel my bare breasts press against the bed with the sheets pulled up to cover the small of my back.  A draft traced my skin. It pleasantly soothed the dull, almost far away, throb of my injuries. I shifted and hissed as pain shot through me.

Instantly, a soft hum wafted though the air. A familiar song that peaked my memory a hundred times over in that night ran through my ears. The wispy voice that sung it was a groggy one, yet it's calming beauty still shone strong. Xander slipped down in his seat and his snores grew deeper. The calm pulled me into the grasps of sleep, though I fought against it as I slowly began to realize who sung just out of sight.

Azura, that girl that's been a ghost in my mind for weeks, it was her, wasn't it? How many days had she been missing, how many times over was it not of note to her siblings? Where had she been?

"Azura?" I croaked. Her song ended abruptly and was replaced by the rustle of fabric as her figure came into view. She sat on the side of the bed and watched me, her expression obscured by the darkness. "Azura?" I said again, dazed by her rare appearance.

"Yes. It's been some time hasn't it?"

"It's been weeks." 

"Yes... I lost track of time." She stayed silent a moment. "How are you feeling?"

I swallowed. My dry throat was sticky and it ripped a cough from my lips.

"Horrid." 

She reached across to the night stand and took a glass from it. She held it to my lips and tilted it. With a struggle, I managed to down the water, though some of it fell down the sides of my face. I sputtered out the few drops of water that I managed to inhale before resting my head back down on the pillow.

"Xander has filled me in on everything, though briefly." She said. She put her hands into her lap, and I watched as she laced her fingers together. She felt like a stranger now. Though, I had hardly known her in the first place. "You've changed so much since I first met you, I must wonder if it's a good thing." She muttered. "He's told me you've gotten the eye of his father, and that you've gained more control over your abilities, though today wasn't a prime example."

I gasped. The fear hit me like a brick and I had to withstand the urge to jump up.

"Did I transform?!"

"What?" She sounded genuinely surprised. "No. No, of course not, you can't. Not with the dragonstone with you at least." Relief washed over me and I let out a sigh. "It can't deter everything though, as you may have noticed, so, sometimes if your emotions get the better of you, it can't hold back the less lethal aspects of it."

"Thank the gods... I thought that when I black out I was-" I released another sigh and slowly let myself begin to relax. I was cold, but nothing would feel worse than fabric against my wounds, and who knows how bad they were now.

My eyes fell to my pendant, shimmering even in the darkness. If I were to touch it, I bet it would flutter as always...

As a thought of my mother ran through my mind, a tear escaped my eye, and my dragonstone began to glow. Azura let out a quiet gasp.

"Have you gotten control over your stone?" she asked.

"What?" I sniffled and blinked away the rest of my tears. "N-no... it just does that when I get emotional. I can make myself scared or sad if needed though." I nearly laughed. How odd it is to hear such a phrase out loud.

"That's still a good sign... you're beginning to understand it." She let out a long breath. "I... Though it's unlikely, have you gotten any control over your transformations?"

I shifted my arm under the pillow. "No, I still feel helpless." I squinted as a few select memories came to mind, "though... recently, this past week, I was able to fully transform without falling under the dragon's control. It was so strange." I said in bewilderment. She leaned forward, a thick interest flew off her tongue.

"Really? Has anything else happened?"

I pondered it for a moment before nodding, "Yes, today... in the throne room Xander was... about to be attacked, and I- well, I went to him and it was just one arm- a single one, transformed to that of the dragon. Not a mutt, no, fully.."

"That's-" she sucked in a breath and put a hand to her chest, "-by the gods," she muttered under her breath. "Corrin, I-" She shifted and scooted closer to me, "I know your ability disturbs you, and it's a scary thing, but I must ask if you would like to have more control over it?" I could see her eyes glimmering from the pale light of the pendant. "It wouldn't be too much, as I still know so little of the dragons, but I could at least teach you some basic control."

I shrunk away from her. I swallowed the thick bile rising in my throat at the memories of Garon's "interest." Gods, how can I know she isn't working with him? I know her so little, how can I tell that I can truly trust her? 

"No... I'm sorry but... I can't. I want to stay as far away from that-... that thing, as I can."

She visibly deflated. She gave me a soft nod and moved away.

"Yes... I-" her head fell, "I understand completely." She stood up. "But, my offer will always be open. If you ever need me, just slip a note under my door, and I'll find you. And you can contact me for anything, Corrin, I want you to know that." She turned away and began going to the door before sighing softly, and facing me once more, "Please consider the idea. I-..." she sighed, "I won't ever know how difficult this is for you, but I still want to offer something to make taming the beast easier."

The idea stayed sharp in my mind for days after. It gave me something to do whilst on bed rest.

Xander thought it smart to keep me confined to our rooms and have the doctors nearby if I needed anything. I learned that the tearing on my back was an injury they could really do nothing for. Nicholai's sound advice was to keep me away from staves and instead stick to salves, which were horrendous to put on to the open wounds, but besides the initial pain and drained feeling after the first two days, I was perfectly fine to move about on my own so long as I remained in the room by order of Xander.

I was trapped with little to nothing to do, and in that time, there was no word from Garon as to what our plan of action would be regarding Flora. He didn't ask to see me nor did he Xander. It almost seemed as though he were resting, but on day three of my imprisonment in my room, word from Odin and Niles was that 50 nobles had joined us in the castle and over 100 more would be arriving in the coming days. Some of those very nobles would visit me now and then, though briefly. 

Felecia, among others visited me as well, and though her company was a joyful one, I could sense her waning glee an the fake of it all. There was an exhaustion about her now that dwindled the sparkle in her eyes. But they glittered when they saw me for the first time that week. She had wrapped her arms around me and ended up touching some of my wounds, after that she stood halfway across the room from me, though I could tell she was anxious to jump about and take my hand. She ranted endlessly about Garon and the other maids, and I even caught wind of her frustration with Dwyer's doctor as she tried to be unfocused from that day in the throne room.

"The man is charging us double after Xander paid for me! The nerve of some people!"

When I offered if we can help her- though I've no idea if I've any say in Xander's funds- she quickly declines stating Laslow had been of much help as his paycheck could "cover a thousand doctors, or so he claims." 

Laslow was ever present in my rooms as well. He brought me tea and various goodies when Xander was out and gave me some entertainment with the addition of Odin. They had such a spark of charisma between them I was nearly rolling from laughter. Unfortunately, the air about Xander always caused their escapades to end when he returned to check on me. My laughter would often go silent when the awkwardness came about. 

Xander was never less than serious, even in the short smiles he'd force for my sake, nothing went past those intimidating eyes. He was always on edge, always frustrated. He barked out orders to his retainers and mine and snapped at them ceaselessly. He didn't care who was in his way if he was entering the room, he was going to walk forward, through them if needed. Half of those in my company didn't get past the normal bow and "hello, Sire" before they were interrupted and  _ordered_  to leave immediately. 

It became a pattern, that at set times during the day he'd appear, stoic, serious. He'd walk in, stomp in almost, and force everyone to clear out. He'd look over me, eyes hard, before turning and opening the door once more to grab a retreating retainer.

"Fetch the doctor." He'd say, before slamming the door shut so forcefully the paintings would rattle. I'd find a seat at the one-chaired-table and twiddle my thumbs as he paced, never speaking a single word.

The doctor would come and examine my back, every time he'd say I was progressing well, and every day Xander would pull him aside and very quietly, though I could still hear, ask if the marks would scar. His reply was always yes.

It would force Xander into an even worse mood and after trying his best to supply me some sort of idle chatter, he's storm out. After a time my company would return, and the cycle would go on till he returned for the night. He'd ask if I was fed and I'd do the same. He'd change into his sleep wear and climb into bed. If I wasn't already there, I'd eventually fall beside him. He'd run his hand through his hair and look to me before slipping down and pulling the covers over himself before turning away from me.

I would  _always_ wake up alone.

And I would always spend those mornings fending off the disgust and shame threatening to overtake me alone. Utterly and completely alone.

I tried so hard to act as if I wasn't bothered by his seeming abandonment. Truly, I did. I forced smiles to those around me and tried to hold conversations till those around me were forced to leave. I tried to make light of my injury, even say to the doctor I couldn't feel a thing when he'd prod at them, though it took every ounce of my will power not to cry out and crumble against the bed. I did my best to speak to Xander but he was nearly unresponsive, so I held back my disappointment and confusion and tried to move on.

But after nine days of being stuck in the same room, where the visits from those I considered friends grew few and far between, and when the humiliation, the loneliness, the utter agony had been building and multiplying on itself for so many days reaches its peak, one would be considered lucky not to breakdown at the slightest misdeed. You could say I was a miracle, because I sat down at the lonely table by myself that ninth morning and ate my breakfast, then graciously stepped outside of the bedroom when a band of soldiers forced me away to stand beside the monster king as they readied axes to Xander's things.

He wrapped an arm around me, and I kept my cup close to my lips as I watched them destroy everything; his clothes, his valuables, even the painting above his dresser. I watched with a blank expression as they destroyed the mirror in the washroom and ripped up the shimmering tiles, but my breath hitched when they destroyed the bed. Garon's hand fell to the middle of my back, and he dug his fingernails into my skin. A hurricane of wood and ripped covers flew about the room till it was just a pile on the floor. The room was a graveyard of once beautiful furnishings, with the open wound of the tunnel being it's center piece.

I was shoved inside and fell into a pile of rubble. The door slammed shut and all I could think of was how the smell of mud wafted through the room. Garon grabbed me by the back of my neck, and I was forced to stand. He moved in close to my ear. His breath was sticky, and smelled of death. It mingled harshly with whatever he had used to mask it.

"Whilst you slept, your husband gave us a most gracious invitation to view the tunnels this morning and you can only imagine what we found... " He smiled darkly. "Three paths stemming from two, three paths that led to the throne room, where my men could clearly hear the chatter of maids as they cleaned. Of course, I have a bargain to uphold and decided against finding Xander, so I've come to you instead."His fingers grabbed onto my pendant. He looked beyond me then led me like a dog to the stairs. He scraped up a handful of mud from one of the lower stairs and wiped it on my face. I struggled against him as he pulled me up and drug me outside of the room. "I'm going to make a little announcement to all our guests, and I feel as though your company will add a wonderful effect to it."

"I thought you were going to harm me?" I whispered without thought. He laughed.

"I'm feeling gracious today and decided against ripping out your fingernails, you should be bending over backwards for my kindness you ungrateful whelp. Now stay quiet."

He rushed to the ballroom and I was left with short glances of the horrified or smug maids who looked upon me. Some of them quietly muttered condolences, whilst other spat out familiar insults. My heart seemed to shrivel and it took every ounce in me not to stop and let him strangle me with that necklace.

He led me into the ballroom hall and a murmur slowly grew in volume as we approached the open doors. He yanked me forward as we made it to the room where before me stood hundreds of un-noticing nobles who sipped at wine. Men boasted and women grasped there arms like jewelry did their necks. They all held an untouchable air of elegance to them. They seemed like anything but people, and I felt tears well up in my eyes as I over looked the unknowing crowd all gathered by Garon's order. 

A small, petite woman with blonde curls and dawned in a flashy pink dress who grasped onto a man of tall stature who scarfed down his drink looked to me and gasped, alerting every other person in a horrific domino effect. They all went quiet, before nervous chattering overcame them. They looked upon me with unsure eyes as Garon led me through the sea of people who parted for him without question. The middle of the room cleared a ring around us to give him room. He yanked my necklace hard and I stumbled forward. He let go of my pendant and I fell onto the floor, my head smashing against the boot of a man who awkwardly stepped away from me.

"What's that on her face?" I heard a women ask. I brought my head up and slowly scooted back to Garon, hoping to shield myself, but I was kicked away. I let out a yelp and looked around the room for a sign of pity anywhere. There was only infatuation as they watched me as though I were a different species.

"My good people, I thank you for gathering here today and waiting so patiently for me as I brought our most esteemed guest of the night." He grabbed me by my hair. "Now I usually try to bear good news before any thing else, but I'm afraid this can't be looked over." His grip grew unbearable, and I writhed. "These past few days have been filled with revelation over revelation and in them I have discovered that she, with the use of war tunnels my own son used, was spying on me in attempt to have my untimely death to quicken her rise as queen."

My eyes widened. What was he doing?! 

He pulled me close against him and my neck retched back onto him. "What's more, I've discovered that she had fooled our very own prince into fighting against me whilst we harbored the Hoshidan ninja."  A sound of disgust filled the room. "Tell me, will this stand?"

A unified cry against my name filled the room. He laughed darkly and dropped me, he went around to my back and pulled my dress up over the back of my head to show the wounds I have received.

"Tell me, is this enough for the foreigner we let into our home so graciously?!" He yelled. They yelled against me and Garon dropped my dress back down. I put my head in my hands and tried desperately to hide, but I was ripped away and held up. "What's more, she has aided in the kidnapping of one of our own, Flora! She has been stolen back to her people after we saved them and we must do whatever it takes to save her won't we?" They yelled and screamed as the crowd became more and more riled up. They began to close in on us. "We will not let this stand any longer, will we?!"

"No!" The men screamed as the women were pushed to the back of the crowd.

"Then, let us ride to their village and retrieve what we have lost with the traitor at the forefront to drag her back herself." Through the crowd of cheers one man dared to question him.

"How will her presence do any of us good? She so meek I doubt she could even handle a rough storm." It was the tall man who had been with the blonde.

"Be quiet!" The girl hissed from afar, but he paid her no mind.

"Why don't I show you, show all of you. Corrin." He sat me down and I stared out at the expectant crowd. I knew exactly what he wanted... and I was already on the brink of transforming... so I gave it to him. I let him have his victory because in the end, I would lose no matter the odds.

I gave into the burning humiliation and felt it all change. My wings, though painfully in their arrival, did no extra damage to me. A thrumming headache nearly overpowered me as my horns appeared. 

The crowd screeched and gasped at my change. Some hurried backwards whilst others pushed through to look at me. One man grew too close to me and I bared my teeth, hoping it would deter him. He scrambled back and another cry came from the crowd. The tall man was appalled, but did not tear his gaze from me.

"I-it will lead us in battle?" He questioned softly. The room went quiet and they looked to me expectantly.

"It will win the battle. But we aren't ready yet. No in a weeks time we will have our troops ready for the harsh cold and you men shall join us, but until then we shall rest, and celebrate a small victory that we have finally won." He grew somber and stepped away from me. "After years of famine and the lack of supplies we have finally stabilized some sort of control over their two main trade routes." He smiled broadly. "We have full control and will have new paths made in the coming months." The people cheered. "This my friends, is the start of a new era of prosperity for Nohr, and we will set it off with a masquerade!" 

The cheers were deafening, and I slowly dropped to the floor as my transformation washed away. I covered my face and crumpled against myself. I stayed like that until the crowd had cleared, and I felt alone. I brought my head up and looked across the large expanse of the ballroom. My eyes slowly grazed over the figure of a tall man who dawned a blank expression and blonde hair that curled unkempt over his forehead and cheeks. He held two glasses and a white handkerchief in his hand. 

He approached me and kneeled. He sat down the glasses; one was filled with water and the other with wine. He dipped the cloth into the water and put it to my chin. With a meticulous touch he cleaned away the mud and dipped it back into the glass. He placed it at my jaw.

"I was... in the training yard." Xander muttered. "Dueling Charlotte and Benny. I... I didn't know this was going on. Laslow told me only what he saw. He told me about our room, and you." He dipped the cloth back in, then washed my temples. "I should've been here."

"No." He stopped. I looked up to him. "You should've been there after I was injured. You're busy I understand, but... you left me all alone in that room and," My hands began to shake, "seemed angry at me." I shook my head. "You were gone and I-"

"I'm here now." He said curtly. He rubbed my forehead. My eyebrows furrowed, and I grabbed his wrist. He let out a curt sigh, and I narrowed my eyes.

"What is your problem?" I said breathlessly. I pulled his hand down.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean how you've been acting." I said with exasperation. "Here I say my peace and you just... brush it off."

"I wasn't brushing it off." He said offensively.

"Then what were you doing?" I was to exhausted to get angry. I couldn't do it... not now.

"I-...I-" he let out a huff and gripped the cloth tighter.

"Why are you treating me like I'm the bad guy?" He furrowed his brows and opened his mouth, but I cut him off before he protested. "You won't speak to me, won't even say good morning, then you're rude to our retainers and doctors and talk around me as though I'm not even there! I'm in pain," I put my hand on my chest. My lips grew heavy, "the most I've ever been in and you fight with me. The very night I was beaten you argued with me till I transformed, and that was the last real conversation we've had in days! I  **needed** you, and you've been running off and downright refusing me when I've summoned you!" My throat tightened, "I was paraded around like a dog and pinned as a traitor whilst those nobles just watched, and you weren't there. I was whipped nights before!"

"That was your choice."

I reeled back and smacked him hard against the face. The sound echoed through the ballroom. I balled up my fists and stood up, knocking over the browning water. 

"WHAT HAVE I DONE THAT WAS SO TERRIBLE?" I screamed. 

He stared down at the floor with wide eyes as the imprint of my hand reddened across his face. My eyebrows knitted up and tears burned at my eyes. I tilted my head and brought up my shoulders as agony ripped through me.

I fell onto my knees. I was breaking down into tiny little pieces. I felt it. My mind snapping, my body giving up. I couldn't take it anymore. 

I let out a long moan and slowly crumbled against the floor, gripping my wrists as I put my head against the floor. A loud wail escaped my lips as tears dripped onto the floor in loud plops. I brought out a hand and hit it against the floor. Harder, and harder I slammed it against the marble till a large hand took it. He was careful in holding me, hesitant in ever move he made, but I needed something to hold onto before I lost it completely, so I let him wrap himself around me like he always did when I was in any sort of turmoil. I dug my fingers into the fabric at his chest and pressed my face against it to suppress my cries. Through my sobs I'd ask him why, over and over again till I was too exhausted. Eventually, my tears ran out and I was left with an empty feeling as I sat limp in his lap. His hand stroked my hair and his lips rested at the top of my hair.

"Did I mess up? Is that why you're angry at me?" My voice was so tiny, so weak, so... broken. Xander's breath hitched. 

"No. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at myself." He kissed the top of my head. "I'm so confused, Corrin. I don't understand what's happening anymore, not with myself or even the court. I get so angry sometimes... I harm people I don't wish to, say things I don't mean. I thought you would be safe but... I've made you snap in two... so many times over. I'm so afraid you won't fit back together anymore." He sucked in a breath and I felt his shaking fingers entwine with mine. "You've no right to forgive me for what I've done to you, but I will ask it all the same. Gods... I'm so sorry for what I've said to you and what I've done. I'm a monster." He whispered.

"I made a mistake. I know I did." I said mindlessly.

"No." His voice shook and it rose in pitch as emotion overtook him. "You've not done anything wrong, my little princess." A fat tear fell onto my scalp. He ran his fingers through my hair with unrest. "You've done nothing wrong." He repeated. 

"But I..." The trembling in my voice matched the turmoil I felt inside. I let out a huff as a meek tear ran down my cheek. He gently turned me around in his lap met my eyes with his watering ones. He shook his head, and distress hung heavy on his face. His lips turned down into a frown, before his eyes shifted to sympathy. They fell to my collarbone and his jaw slackened.

His fingertips ran across my arms in a calming rhythm. He put my ear against his chest as I listen to the slow beating of his heart.

"I know what you're feeling." He murmured. His chest vibrated with every sound. "I know it like the back of my hand." His finger traced the lines on my palm then slid back up again. "It all feels like you're to blame for everything. Like nothing happy in the world can ever happen after that moment he... he hurt you, because when he harms you, he takes something from you, something that's so hard to get back. Years of screaming or crying can't rip it from him, sometimes he has it for days, sometimes a lifetime." Tears slipped down my cheeks. "He steals things like pride and dignity and replaces them with humiliation and scorn. He'll build on it till you're broken, and sometimes people can only last against him once." He cupped my cheek and wiped away my tears. "It makes people angry or confused, always upset,  and he'll do it again if he catches you with any semblance of stability, but you don't have to go through it alone... being with people, I've found, speeds up the healing process, or at least makes life a bit brighter as you try to retake it all." He put his forehead against mine and looked at me with a tenderness I never knew a person could hold. "If you can't forgive me, at least let me be by your side whilst you recover."

"I forgive you." I whispered. His fingers brushed against the shell of my ear before he placed a chaste kiss on my temple. He laced his fingers with mine and picked up the glass I had knocked over and with the remaining water cleaned the mud from my face. We shared that glass of wine beside him, though for once he took the most of it. Afterwards he helped me to my feet and we took the long rode back to our rooms, where standing just outside of the destruction was a curvy woman sporting purple hair and a flowing black gown.

She flicked a piece of wood back inside and turned to us.

"We've much to speak of, don't we, Brother." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	16. Revelations in Warm Embraces

After we recovered from the initial shock of reuniting with Camilla, she wasted no time in shuffling us inside the privacy of her room. The relief of being in her presence, was overwhelming to say the least.

Once we were finished with the normal courtesies, Xander led the discussion with a strong, steady hand that started us off at our trip to the border. Almost immediately, he made it clear that he had no intention of spilling anything personal, making a story once filled so thickly with drama, now only a dull one of stiff politics. I couldn't thank him more. 

Even considering how I was the root of all the drama, he still egged me on to participate, offering intentionally boring words and quick glances for me to fill their dullness. Whether it be an offhanded mention of how beautiful the sunsets where as we grew closer, to how traveling up that hill was like being "witness to a grand reveal," I offered my own, effective descriptions of the world to draw away from his lack of explanation to certain events. Together we spoke not a word of my affair, or the axe that had been leveled to my neck, but the words I vomited still left their bad tastes anyways.

Slowly, our duo began to falter, my words growing few far between, till it crumbled at my own trembling hand.

I sat quietly as he shifted to make up for my absence, doing well on his own to keep away from the gaps in explanation when he came to his duel and my illness. His eyes would flick to mine during that and afterwards. They'd steal quick glances that would cause his words to slow, and lilt as he very obviously, noticed my wilting state.

A concerned, but comforting air came about him as he got to the events between Flora and our tunnel, whilst in an almost unnoticeable fashion, he scooted closer to me. Our legs nearly touching. Very slowly as the story grew more grim, his hands fell from the table and into his lap, where his fingers rubbed together in an almost anxious fashion, only stopping when his words did. 

He left us just before Garon, the moment we had entered inside his throne room, where the king's booming voice had requested him. I looked up to him, and our eyes met. The thin line that had been his lips, slowly relaxed, and his chest fell with a fleeting breath. The hard lines of his face softened.

"Is this my story to tell?" he asked.

My eyes fell to the oaken table, and I looked to the gleams in its polished surface, hoping to find solace as the pain bubbled in my chest. The breath I let out trembled, till I felt a warm, calloused finger entwine with mine, before a large palm entrapped mine. I felt a shoe brush against my bare toes as Xander shifted closer, ever so slightly. My breath hitched at the affection, but I accepted it gladly, knowing it was my turn to speak my peace.

"No." I muttered. "It isn't.". 

His hand never left mine, even when I feigned confidence. 

At first, my words were slow, quietly explaining how I first saw Niles, limp and bleeding against the wall whilst Felicia screamed, endlessly screeched, to how I'd claimed Garon's dagger as my own. With a biting whimper and Xander's tightening hand I stared into her hardened eyes, telling her in full, horrific detail of what I could remember from my whipping, whilst Xander entwined our fingers distress emanating from his every action.

Then, like a switch, my voice turned to stone, and anger rushed through my veins. A gnawing frown pulled down my lips.

"After he'd destroyed our room, humiliated me and led me like a dog to a room filled with nobles, he called me a traitor." I growled. "He said I had tricked Xander into disobedience, and pinned everything he had once claimed was his fault on me when he revealed it all to the public, and why wouldn't he!?" I put my free hand onto my chest. "I am the damn foreigner, not the son raised for greatness, but the daughter, the monster, who never in her wildest dreams had a chance with those royals... and they'd never even question it." I bit at the inside of my lip. "They accepted it so easily." My voice went quiet. " And when I'd been forced to change into that mutt, they looked at me like I was even more trash than I already was, and didn't think a second that a person was there, scared, in the floor." I let out a cold laugh. "Who am I kidding? I'm not even human to them. I'm just some thing. An it." Xander's thumb rolled over my knuckles as he watched me, concern knitting his brows together, anger creasing the corners of his eyes as he listened to the full story for the first time. My hand fell to my lap, and he seized it, not showing any sign of letting either of my hands go. "Afterwards, he said I would lead the expedition to find Flora, as a beast." I let out a huff as panic began to rise through me. "He expects me to fight and kill when I've never even killed an animal, let alone a man, in some form I don't control!" I gripped Xander's hand tighter. "To boot, I've only ever seen the path to and from the borders and then the inside of these walls, Camilla, that's it, I have no idea what Nohr looks like outside of here! So, if I'm not murdered in battle, I'll be killed by the terrain I don't even know!" My voice cracked. It was the final straw for Camilla.

She stood up and came to my side where she promptly wrapped her arms around me, careful not to touch my back. My hand went loose around Xander's, and I felt my fingernails, that had dug into his skin without my notice, unstick themselves. He'd never even flinched that whole time.

My hands separated from his, and fell back into my lap, where I clasped them together. She pulled away from me and put her hands on the sides of my face. I let out a long breath that further calmed the panic in me, then met her violet gaze with hesitance, warmth radiating from it. 

"My little dragon," My heart went still, and her voice slowly shifted to that of my mother's, "wherever you are, I will be beside you. You will never, ever, need to be afraid darling, I promise you that." All too quickly the voice shifted back to Camilla's sultry one. "I'll murder anyone that dares hurt you." 

Frankly, I was too shocked by the mixed emotions in my chest to say any form of thanks, though I doubted I'd have been able to give one even if I were stable. 

A creak filled the room and her eyes snapped away from me. Like a viper, she slipped away from me and sauntered to the door, where when opened stood a butler, eavesdropping. She gave him a devilish glare and spitefully asked for tea. After a hasty nod, he nearly ran out of sight.

I sighed in disappointment. The word of my being a dragon would spread even faster at this rate.

"Don't worry dear," Camilla cooed, stepping to my side. "I'll be sure he won't speak a word of this." Her eyes glared into slits as she looked back to the door. 

When he returned, Camilla did good on her word and gave him a rather... gruesome scolding before elegantly closing the door in his face. How someone could be angry and classy was something I may never understand.

Once we had our tea poured and I had a sufficient amount of sugar piled in, she shifted the focus onto her stories, where the rooms mood almost instantly turned lighthearted.

She told us the wondrous events with her suitors over her week with them, where each story was filled to the brim with oddities and nearly heartwarming moments. 

With a coy laugh, she told us of her first suitor and his attempts at dancing with her. 

"He was worse than even you brother." she teased. He rolled his eyes and took a drink from his tea. "The poor thing tripped over his feet till he pulled me to the ground." she had said with a soft giggle. It didn't end there, as she continued with small mentions of his shyness and awkward tendencies that warmed my heart. "Such a shy thing."

It were the stories in those likenesses that warmed me, and eased me deep into the first good mood I'd had this whole week.

With a grin she muttered the likeness of her second suitor and his stiff nature around her. "I wonder who he reminds me of..." she said, eyes falling to Xander with a sisterly smile. He returned it with a horribly forced one of his own, teeth and all. "but, he was oddly scared of moths. The sight of one would make the poor man cower behind me."

The third suitor was no different in his strangeness, but the fourth and final man, was the only one as normal as the first, but even more charming in her opinion. He brought her flowers every night and offered her dances and smooth words that could melt any other woman's heart besides hers. The examples were... quite convincing to say the least. 

But her final experience, with him on the last day, he revealed his more "vibrant" nature. In vivid detail, she explained how she walked in on him, inside her room, naked, with a rose between his lips and gave her a wink. I put a hand to my mouth as I tried to suppress my giggles, but when it hit me, I leaned back in the chair, holding my stomach as the laughs erupted from me. 

I was a simple woman with simple humor.

"Honestly, sister, we didn't need to hear that." Xander said, blushing at the ears and shaking his head. A smile curled his lips as he watched my feeble attempts at holding back my laughter. He took a sip of tea.

"That wasn't even the worst of it." She said with a smirk that caused him to choke. After recovering, he stood up and gave us a gracious bow.

"Although your stories are," he cleared his throat, "wonderful, I'm going to go find a room for Corrin and I to stay in for tonight."

"I'm going to stay here, if that's alright." I said, wiping the tears from my eyes. "Maybe you can come find me once you have it all sorted out?" He gave me a nod and left. 

I turned back to Camilla and took a long drink from my warm brew, basking in its feeling, and the relief lightly tapping around in my chest. It was the happiest, most energetic feeling I'd had in days, thank the gods. I let out a long breath and sat down the cup, watching her as she crossed her legs, that sly smile still prickling on her features.

"I'm actually quite glad he's gone." she remarked.

"Why?"

"Oh, I've something to tell you is all." I cocked an eyebrow. Her smile turned faint, and her eyes darkened. "I know this isn't exactly the best time for this, but whatever it is, it's urgent." I tilted my head. "They've requested to be unnamed and to have Xander not be in our presence when I was to tell you." My lips parted. My gaze turned to one of a worried confusion. "In short, you have a visitor in the library, my dear, and they are very eager to see you."

I instantly shook my head. 

"I'm sorry Camilla, but what they've asked and how sketchily they've asked it, doesn't make me feel willing to join them. All alone. In the middle of the night."

"I understand your fears completely, darling, but I promise you I'd never send you into a dangerous situation. You can trust me with that much." Her eyes were sincere as they took in my concerned expression. My red orbs flicked back and forth between hers, as I mulled it over.

I could trust in Camilla. It was something she'd been intent on showing me since I'd arrived here, whether it be in lending me an ear I was confident I could confide in, or involving me in matters she'd kept quiet from others. Above all else, I knew she'd never put me in harm's way.

I let out a hesitant sigh and an even more hesitant answer. "When Xander returns, send him to the library."

She smiled. "Of course." I gave her a begrudging sigh and got up from my seat.

I left the room without another word, and began to traverse the cold, gray halls of Krakenburg on my own. It was odd without a man or woman to lead me, to feel a barren presence beside me, when my entire life, I walked with another to guide me. I felt unsure of where to go, and scared that if I made a wrong turn I'd be lost forever, as if this place was as vast as the ocean.

I stopped at every corner, and looked down each path, with every option seeming the wrong way. I even considered turning back many a time, but when the halls began to seem familiar in their exhibitions of armor, I forced myself to trudge onwards, till I'd found those large, oaken doors, unease and trepidation rattling wildly in my chest. With sweaty palms, I entered, pushing on an air of a stand-offish caution around me.

The alcoholic smell of dried ink and parchment stained the air and a nippy draft wafted over the expanse of the bookshelves that caused the gooseflesh on my bare arms to rise. It was eerily quiet, with the silence so loud, its static made my ears ring. The only sound evident was my sparse breathing and footsteps as I approached the ghostly table covered in a sheen of dust and dead books.

I gulped down the spit rising in my mouth, and wiped my clammy palms against my dress. With a nervous glance around the large, and item packed room, I cleared my throat. Tearing my eyes from the table, and looking to the shelves, I called out.

"Hello?"

My words reached across the empty air, but they found only a response filled thick with silence. I let out an unsettled breath, and wrapped my arms around myself as the air turned freezing. By the gods, winter would be harsh here.

"H-hello?" I repeated through chattering, and impatient teeth. With a scowl at the quietness, I walked forward to peek through the maze of bookshelves. The only sign of life were the books strewn across the floor. No doubt some of those nobles decided to rummage around. They could hardly treat a human right; how would anyone ever expect them to appreciate property. 

I glanced around. Surely, whoever was waiting for me here would come back, but... if I was fast I could pick up without being caught.

I rubbed my hands together and went to the mess and crouched down to examined their spines. Disappointment brushed against my fingers as I touched their engraved titles. There, in a reflective paint, staring back at me were characters I could hardly understand. Their shimmer mocked me, as I glanced to their empty places on the shelves. A sigh escaped my lips.

I wanted nothing more than to be able to read and lose myself to some other world...somewhere without queens and kings and arranged marriages, where princesses do not curtsey, and princes do not bow; a place where people are not treated like cattle and fathers do not beat their sons. Yes, I would like to escape to a place like that... and never, ever, return.

But how could I when I knew only a handful of their words?

With a heavy sigh, I stacked up the mess of books beside the case, and when I had finished, I grabbed the novel off the top and found a seat at the tables, intent on doing something besides aimlessly waiting. 

I opened my book, and looked longingly at the first page. Bold letterings stood at the head of the page, where under them was the beginning of their tale. Squinting hard at a batch of symbols I thought to be familiar, I spotted a word, 'blue.' I let out a triumphant breath and turned the page, satisfied to know only a single word on a single page.

As I went on, my broken Nohrian translations began to form a story of their own through my small amounts of understanding. "Blue princess. Father. Bird. M." Though I was hardly sure on that last word. The only one I was truly sure of was, "war." War, war, war, it must have been repeated a million times whilst I skimmed. It made my stomach ache.

Eventually though, I pursed my lips, and decided to flip back to page one when I'd gone on a consecutive streak of 20 pages without a word I understood, not even war could find me between the lines. Back at the start, I glanced at the first page, and was surprised to spot a very, very familiar set of symbols together. My eyebrows twitched, and I leaned in closer to it.

"F-..." I let out a breath, and began to sound it out slowly, "F... -i... -eld." I smiled. "Field."

"That's right." Came a strong voice behind me. I let out a yelp. I whipped around to find the presence of the elderly, but capable, Gunter before me. His eyes gently scanned me.

"I-" I put a hand at my heart and let out a breath, "I didn't hear you come in." I steadied my breath, and looked to him curiously. He couldn't have been who requested me, could he? Camilla did say I wouldn't be of any danger, but... why Gunter, of all people? 

I narrowed my eyes. "So... may I ask what you are doing here?" I questioned.

"Arson." I scooted away from him. With a roll of his eyes, he motioned to the library. "Reading, of course."

"Ah- Oh, I... Y-yes." I flicked up my eyebrows in an awkward fashion, and quietly cursed myself.

I turned back into my seat, and squinted my eyes at the pages to try and find more familiar words, not wanting to stare whilst Gunter went on with his business, but I couldn't help but look when pulled up a chair across from me. I duly noted how he still didn't have a book. 

"Forgive me for prying, but I'm very curious." I met his eye with an open expression. "Can you even read the Nohrian script? I noticed your struggle."

"N-no... I was forced to stop soon after I began learning." He hummed with a slow nod.

"I'm not surprised. The Ban must've happened when you were still small." I tilted my head.

"Ban?" I'd never heard of such a thing in all my life. He let out a shocked huff and leaned forward in his seat.

"You've never heard of the ban?" I shook my head in response. "Well I'll be." he muttered, sitting back and shaking his head. "The Ban, was an act both your mother and King Ryoma had agreed on just after the kidnapping of Sumeragi. Basically, few people were allowed into Hoshido- few Nohrians, not excluding the king and any in relation to him." He rubbed his hands together. "but the most effective, and most immediate effect was the propaganda they released and the ban of any Nohrian products or culture. It a matter of months we were demons, and in a celebration of coming to understand, they decided to burn everything of ours they owned, all next to the borders." He let out a sigh filled with wonder. "I can still remember the day..." He smiled bittersweetly. "The smoke that had come from it enveloped Nohr so thickly, and so widely, that even Krakenburg was painted in the ash." His eyes went hard. "It was an act of intimidation that had every general and noble thinking, 'what would happen next?'"

My eyes were wide with shock. How is it that something so big, something so substantial, had happened, and I never knew a word. Did my siblings know? Or was it only I that was sheltered from the truth? And of all people, Ryoma and my own mother were at fault. How... how could they have done something so horrid!? They caused an entire people to despise another, and destroyed whatever of them that was innocent to be sure no one ever doubted it.

I grabbed my pendant.

"W-...what were the repercussions of those actions here?" He drew in a long breath before rattling off a list he seemed to have rehearsed.

"Without being able to trade, our economy plummeted. When the Hoshidan farmers- who had been keeping our soil fertilized, burned our fields, we were pushed into famine. When their doctors abandoned us, the plague gnawed at whoever had survived the poverty, whoever survived the hunger." He laughed coldly. "And even now, as we're licking our wounds, as The Ban has been lifted, we still feel its effects." He motioned to the dusty table behind us and my stomach churned.

I was speechless. How could any word describe the disgust... the... confusion? I blinked rapidly as I sat back in my chair, my lips parted, my brow furrowed in pure horror. My family... did that. My own Mother allowed this to happen, by the gods, she oversaw it along with Ryoma.

I put a hand at my forehead. My own mother murdered thousands. My own brother murdered thousands. And I sat there unknowing, basking in my riches, living my spoiled brat life where I complained at every damn issue. I covered my mouth as the urge to vomit hit my hollow stomach.

"It's a lot to take in, isn't it?" he muttered ruefully. His eyes were harsh as they met mine. I swallowed down the spit rising in my mouth as the hairs on my arms rose. A shivering breath escaped through my fingers. "Does it scare you? Does it disgust you?"

I gave him a slow nod and squeezed my eyes shut as the image of dozens of families succumbed to their hunger, as thousands of children shivered against their fevers. The sounds of wailing mothers and fathers filled my ears, and I pushed up from my chair where it skidded before hitting the ground. I slammed my fists onto the table.

My jaw trembled as I spoke. "No matter what had happened to Sumeragi, that was one of the most moronic ways to have handled such a situation." My sharpening nails dug into the wood of the table, and I glanced down to see my wrists thick with blue scales.

I let out a slow breath and forced myself to calm down. There had already been one scene today, and there needn't be another.

I picked up my chair and eased back into the seat. Leaning back, I felt the remnants of my wings and tail dissipate. I hesitantly met Gunter's gaze, where he watched me with an easy calmness. He had seen much worse than a dragon in his lifetime, I was sure.

"I disagree." he said calmly. "Weakening us through themselves was one of the smartest actions they could have taken to regain their king, and, though horrid in its effects, I will commend them for their ability to think together and be ruthless. And, you must keep in mind that they lost their king, their most seasoned fighter, and nearly a princess, on their way to barter for peace with the very country that kidnapped him. It was their only defense."

"It does not make it right."

"I never said it was." He went silent for a moment, then tilted his head ever so slightly. His lips pursing. "Considering that you may one day be faced with the challenges of war, let us say this same situation happens to you. Prince Xander is kidnapped by King Ryoma and you are left to make such hearty choices. What would you do?"

I went quiet as I mulled it over, before letting out the smallest of laughs. The shock was still heavy in my veins, and I couldn't quite think as I replied,

"What good could a queen do?" He slammed down his fist, making me jump in response. His eyes were fiery as they bore into mine.

"'What good could a queen do?'" He barked out a ruthless laugh that made me shrink. "You must be kidding me. How ignorant you are." He hissed. He set his eyes on something just beyond me as he leaned back and crossed his arms. "I have lived in a word with many Katerinas and Mikotos- strong women who made a world built on men's iron even stronger through their ability to make steel. Those women, women, who needn't a king to guide their steady hands as they made more heavy choices than they could dream. Mikoto, a peace-loving woman who had waged a silent war with her rival, whilst keeping her own people secure and prosperous. Katerina, a headstrong woman, disciplined in all she did, able to bring a country oh so close from the depths of despair." Wonder laced his voice. "My own wife, though not a ruler or noble in any way, spoke and moved as though she was one. She could raise the moral of any army. She could inspire any man. She was a queen in her own right." The smallest of smiles burned his lips, before it fell. His eyes hardened onto mine. "Those horrid ladies of the court with their chitter and flighty heads are not something to be sucked into, Corrin. Their lack of judgment and small minds disgrace women like Katerina, who was so strong in her judgment, who made such a difference, her own husband made sure no other woman would ever have so much power. And do you know what they say when faced with a challenge? 'What good would a woman do?'"

"I am no Katerina, nor am I my mother." I disagreed. "There may simply be people who can't do something!"

"Yet, you have already shown how able you are!" He flung out a hand. "You took the place of Xander. You spoke out against King Garon's judgment on more than one occasion! You act as though you are some worthless amount of chiffon, though you are anything but, and frankly, that mindset of yours in more enraging than anything else." He crossed his arms. "But, I can agree. You aren't your mother, or Katerina." My heart still hurt when he said it aloud. "You are different of course, with your temper, and attitude, as well as your ignorance. Truly not a wonderous roll of traits you've been given."

"Forgive me for being myself." I muttered.

"Ah, but one like you can always make do. When you inevitably rise to be the Queen, it will be quite interesting to see how you've changed from now." He chuckled as he stood up. "Even more interesting will it be when you can't even read the documents that will dull out your judgments." His eyes looked to my book as he pushed in his chair.

"Weren't you here to read?" I commented as I returned my squinted gaze at the novel.

"I got enough entertainment from our conversation. I must thank you for giving an old arse a bearable time."

I forcefully turned the page and stuck my eyes on a word I didn't know.

It was odd in Nohr. That I couldn't deny. Its people were dying and scandalous, whilst their armies stood strong and defined. Here I was nothing more than what they had heard from rumors and their own mangled amounts of hate, but how new it was to be able to change and show them what I was, to show that angered side and not be called a spoiled brat from lashing out against a king- well, at least in a different way. Still, even with it all, the most jarring change, one that I was still getting used to was my lack of codling. I was being treated as an adult, or at least, being thought of as an up and coming one. Though still sheltered by some, here I could make up for all the lost words of my past life, and set out on a new journey once I am freed from my captivity and naivety.

One day.

I let out a small sigh as I turned another page. Hopelessly searching for words.

"It is quite a shame you can't read. That one is rather wonderful. I'm sure with your personality, you'd enjoy it." He clicked his tongue, and I looked up. He stood with his hands behind his back, eye turned upwards as he scanned the ceiling. "Considering how busy your husband is, I doubt he'd ever have the time." He met my eye. "If you're interested, I could teach you." He scoffed. "Not as if I do anything useful anymore."

"I..." I shook my head, shocked after our bickering he'd offer such a thing. "I'd love to, of course! When would I meet you?" I said, excitement unbound.

"Six o'clock here. I think that's generous enough."

"Six!" I cried, energy dissipating from my limbs almost instantly. "That's nearly the time Xander wakes up!" How that man could stand waking at dawn I'll never know.

"Yes, because he is not idle and has things to do. Will that be a no then?"

I sighed. "N-no... I... I'd still like to learn."

"Wonderful, but don't bother coming if you're late. I'd rather not waste my time."

"Yes, of course." He turned from me. "Ah- I... t-thank you for our talk. If there's any more things about Hoshido, I'd... I'd prefer to know." 

He looked to me over his shoulder. 

"Good evening."He left me aching for more knowledge I knew he had. I was left alone once more, an itching feeling scratching at my hands and face. I shifted in my seat and seethed, clutching my hands together tightly. To be fair, what he had disclosed had been enough for one night.

Anger riled up into my stomach. 

My nails dug into my palms as I stood up.Slamming the book shut with a resounding smack, I slapped it down onto the stack of books and turned on my heel. My hands opened and closed as I attempted to withhold my emotions.

I had to keep calm. I couldn't let the mutt show. Not after today. Not after those nobles had-

I let out a growl and kicked a chair, forcing it to fall. Releasing some of that anger it did seem to calm me, but... causing chaos was not the right thing to do here. I took in a deep breath then gripped my pendant, focusing on its warmth.

I needed a long bath... something heated, and relaxing to end this day with.... 

Gods. It wasn't even over. Not with that person wishing to meet me.

I rolled my eyes. Since they had so wonderfully wasted my time and been so late, they wouldn't have my presence at all today, so, I left, where I almost immediately came across Xander rounding the eastern corner. We quickened our paces and met halfway where he offered me his arm and asked if I wanted to "scout out the room he found."

I gave him a nod, and he flashed me the tiniest of smiles, though I couldn't return it even if I'd tried. As we walked, coming to the bend in the hallway, the creak of the library doors pricked at my ears. I gave it a curious glance.

I caught only a glimpse of a white cape and silver gauntlets before they disappeared to the library. My mind instantly came to wonder if that person was the source of my mystery meeting, or simply another dulled up noble aimed to trash the area? Either way, I wasn't keen on solving that mystery tonight, though... I would be sure to keep their choice of armor in mind. White was so rare a color to see among the dark skies of Nohr.

I lost full sight of the library door and turned my head back to the dark halls. 

We made our way to our rooms rather quickly considering how many floors and stairs we had to traverse. The farther we went, the flashier it became. The suits of armor so common on our floor were replaced with small tables spread out scarcely with burnt out lanterns, candles, and vases upon them filled with dark grasses and even flowers. The air seemed just a bit warmer, and I couldn't help but notice the faint crackling that resounded from certain rooms.

When we found ours, Xander unlocked it with a key from his pocket, and inside I was left speechless. Its lemon walls flickered with the dim candle light, and the white furniture around the surprisingly large room sat still and grand. A fireplace to the far right of us stood, where endless amounts of light spread from it where two sofas sat a ways beside it, a table between them. A decently -though still much smaller than ours- sized bed sat to the right, where two white doors stood just next to it.

"It's wonderful." I muttered as I shuffled to the fireplace. I couldn't bring myself to question why these rooms where so much grander than our own, or why he stood in here in an almost uncomfortable light, because everything in Krakenburg had a meaning, and frankly, I was at my breaking point with all of it.

I let out a long breath and looked at him with a sideways glance.

"I'm going to take a bath..." I rubbed at my wrists. "Could you call for some hot water for me?" He gave me a nod, and walked away from me, his hands brushing against my arm as he passed. I occupied myself by sitting on the bed, looking to my stone till the women and men came bearing bucket of hot waters. I gave them my thanks when the job was done and was happy to sink into the hot waters of the clawed tub and wash myself clean of the mud of today.

I slipped down till I was underwater and held my breath, watching the surface distort the painted ceiling above. With my hearing muffled, and vision blurred, it reminded me so vividly of the dragon and how it felt trapped inside it. I sat back up and blew the water from my nose.I draped my arms on the sides of the bath and looked to the closed door.

This was nice though... nearly nice enough to keep me from thinking back to The Ban.

Nearly.

A chill ran over my wet shoulders and I slumped back down till only my chin was above the now lukewarm water. My jaw trembled as I leaned my head back, the image of a discarded toy, burning, whilst some sickly child lay miles away... hungry... poor... and dying filled my thoughts.

I covered my face and let out a thick sigh. I grit my teeth and tightened my hands around my hair. 

I couldn't understand it.

I refused to try and find some valid reason they could've had to have led such a horrid act, gods, but I wanted to so bad.

With a cry, I slung down my arms and hit the water as hard as I could. It splashed into my face and onto the floor with a loud slap. My vision blurred, and I held onto the tub for support as my anger began to get the best of me. I scrambled away from the waters, effectively slipping on the wet tiles, before grabbing my pendant and holding it tight as I sat naked, and helpless on the floor.

I was so confused. So damn confused. Why would she ever ever do something so horrible to those people, no matter if it were for Sumeragi. He could've been the son of a god and it would not excuse what she'd done. I don't care of Gunter's explanation or their reasoning, there was no reason. There were better options to take.

But... I couldn't think of one if I tried, not now at least. I was too focused on how mortifying it is to know that your own mother was the cause of so much misfortune, whether she intended or no.

I put my hand at my forehead. My breathing came in quick gasps. I couldn't even bring myself to condemn her, let alone hate her for it. She was my mother and... I couldn't bare to despise her after I'd lived thinking her so wonderful... I couldn't bear to hate her now that she was gone, with the only other person involved that could tell me her thoughts was Ryoma.

Ryoma... who had been one to approve and uphold these wishes as well... one who made me end my learning, and instilled the idea into every one of my siblings that Nohrians were filthy people who couldn't even understand simple emotions, one who had... apparently changed so suddenly. My arm went limp at my side. I scooted backwards until my back slammed into the tub, not caring at the pain that shot through me, for the one in my chest was more excruciating.

My brother, that man I'd looked up to my entire life... the one I loved so dearly and admired even more, was... never who I had thought he was... was he? My brother, that king who had embarrassed me, who had sat by smugly whist I nearly drank myself to death, who had used every cheat against me to have me stay with him- my hands began to shake- who had watched me like a vulture and spat at me like a rodent- I brought myself up on trembling knees- had always- I held onto the tub as my only support- always been so spiteful and controlling.

I sat back into the waters and brought my knees up to my chest.

How many days did he weasel me away from my family for his company instead, and how many more did he keep me away from going outside of the castle?

How many times did he ease me into doing his bidding and doing what he wanted by using his status of my "brother" against me?

How long did he have me so securely under his thumb?

I raked my fingers down my bare arms. It couldn't have always been his way. I can't fathom that he was never that loving, kind, man.

I can still see his warm smile as he'd humor me. I can still feel him bouncing me as I sat atop his shoulders. I remember so vividly as he wiped Takumi's tears, and showed pride in me when I was the only one able to calm him, or how he'd hold Sakura's hand as she toddled beside him or how he'd encouraged Hinoka whilst she picked herself apart that first time she had grown into her more elegant robes for a party.

I can still hear his muffled sobs and see his trembling form through a cracked door as he held onto my mother the day after his father was taken.

He was so young.

He was so innocent.

He was.

I let out a cry through grit teeth and stood up out of the bath. I grabbed a towel and dried myself, before slipping into the dirty dress feet first to avoid my wings.

Free me of my thoughts.

My mind chanted.

"Free me of my thoughts." I whispered as I stepped out of the room, wings wide open in a seething... something, that I couldn't control. Only when the air chilled against my skin did I realize the throbbing in my back. 

When Xander met my gaze, he didn't question the tail swooping without my control or the nails digging so harshly into my palms that blood dripped from my fists. He only stood up from his seat at the fireplace and approached me.

With trembling lips, I dropped my head.

"Do you have the salve? Or was it destroyed?" I asked, my voice strained and unstable. "My back hurts." I whispered. I blinked back the starlight water in my eyes as he left to the dresser.

"I grabbed a few things when I set out on finding the room." He said, as he grabbed a red tin off the top, surrounded by other familiar trinkets. He approached me once more, and held it to me, but I'd not the strength to reach for it.

"Help." Was all I could muster, meeting his eye, where pure sweetness settled behind them. He gave me a soft nod, but walked back to the dresser. He grabbed a white button-up shirt, and came back to me. He put it into my hands.

"Put it on backwards, and I'll be waiting for you." He said, voice delicate. I nodded and retreated to the bathroom to change, and on my return, he sat on the bed, thumbing at the tin, till I sat before him. I sat on my calves, with my hands sat in my lap, and my wet, tangled bundle of hair over one shoulder. His much too large shirt hanging heavy on my shoulders.

Xander was quiet at first as he took in the sight of my back. I'd hardly let him see it those first few days, only in small glimpses... but he'd always seemed shocked nonetheless, now... it was like his breath was taken away... but it lasted only a few heartbeats before he leaned towards me, warm, sandy hands rubbing my arms in the most comforting way he could.

I folded my wings, making them brush against him ever so slightly. "Whatever is happening, I'm here for you now, my little princess." He whispered.

My. A single word difference and it pushed through the hurricane in my mind. It did not calm it no, but gave me something else to focus on. A single word difference and everything seemed different, everything seemed more sweet and sensual as his hands were delicate in touching me. 

I leaned into his touch when his hands fell to my shoulder. I reveled in it when brisk touches met my cheek and scalp till life beaten hands raked through the knots at my scalp. I gave into his sweet touches and let them unravel and calm me and hardly questioned it when I felt his presence disappeared only to return with the gentle draw of a hairbrush through my tangles.

He was silent as he worked, yet his actions chattered insistently at my skin. With his hot, even breaths just at my neck, and easy motions I lost all focus on my thoughts and stayed only on the filled feeling in my chest. It was as though I were ready to burst, and I wanted it to last forever.

When he sat down the hairbrush, he ran his fingers across my scalp before bundling my hair up and separating it into three parts. After a time of faint movements, I felt him shift the bundle back over my shoulder and I saw a thick, loose braid done better than I could ever attempt. I held it, and stroked the hairs when his voice came soft to my ear.

"I'm going to touch your back now."

I gave him a nod, then let out a sharp gasp when the cold, gritty salve pressed against the tip of a wound. He pulled away instantly.

"If you aren't ready, please tell me." In the back of my mind I could hear his voice say, "I know how this feels."

I let out a slow breath.

"Go on." Even lighter than before he gently began rubbing in the salve. His fingers stroked down my back, lightly bringing down the liquid on my wounds. Ver softly he traced a long rip, and sighed, before globbing more salve onto his fingers. I let out a yelp when he touched the most painful of areas. He pressed a kiss to the back of neck, effectively calming me. I let out a trembling breath, as he hit another pained area, and another soft kiss fell on me. I began to shiver. Any action I made, caused his lips to brush against me, till I was left dazed at the end of his work, hardly noticing anything other than him as he shifted to sit next to me. 

"T-Thank... you." I whispered, still shocked by the turn it took. He nodded, and kept his eyes away from mine, focusing intently on the fire. His leg bounced anxiously. I snapped free of my daze and leaned forward to see more of his face. "Xander, are you alright?" He hesitantly met my eyes.

"Yes, of course." My hand fell over his, and his eyes briefly fluttered shut. His lips twitched. "I-I've never done anything like this, with any woman before." He blurted out.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," He ran a hand through his hair, tussling his curls. "- I've never... been so affectionate and had it be true. Or even had it reciprocated... It's still so bizarre to me that you are reciprocating it." He shook his head, and a hopeful gleam shimmered in his eye, before it was smothered. He let out a huff. "I keep trying to be affectionate. I want to be." His face turned red; his adam's apple bobbed. "I-I want to hold you... some nights. O-Or take your hand when you least expect it." He rubbed his hands together and looked far away from me. "I-I-I-" he let out a breath. "I'm trying." He whispered. "I don't know if I'm doing this right."

He sounded so vulnerable. I wrapped my hand around his.

"You're doing this wonderfully right, Xander." I encouraged.

"I am?"

"Of course." I gave him a squeeze. He let out a breathless puff of air, then bit his lip.

"Can I... can I hold you? For just tonight?" I gave him a sweet smile, and nodded. I scooted back and slipped under the covers with Xander right behind me. 

Instantly, we found problems with our plan.

We didn't quite fit together on the bed, no matter my size, he was simply too large, both width wise and length wise. On one end, lying side by side would have half of me on the floor, and on the other, his ankles hung off the edge no matter where he was.

After a time of struggle, with neither of us wishing to give up and sleep on the floor, we found a position. I faced his chest as he laid on his side, arms wrapped delicately around me. I curled into him, whilst his legs were somewhat brought up. The pose had me completely, and utterly surrounded by him. His scent. His warmth. Him. The aid of having one his own shirts on me once more was helping to seal the deal of being completely wrapped up by him, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I snuggled closer against him, till my head rested against him. I could just faintly hear his racing heart.

"Goodnight, Little Princess." He whispered, setting his chin atop my head.

"Goodnight." I muttered, though I was already half asleep. When his hands rubbed my arms, I drifted off, never having felt so secure in Nohr before...


	17. A Dance with Fate's Accomplice

Throughout the week there was an endless sense of panic as nobles and servants alike rushed to be ready for the masquerade. The lords and ladies flitted in and out of the castle to find their dresses and various apparel, but even through their haste, I could always feel that they were enjoying themselves- unlike the workers. The servants were in utter hysteria to have the castle prepared, and the nobles spouting orders didn't help.

"Bring me more chiffon!"

"Bring me more wine!"

I'd have rolled my eyes at each and every one of them... if I hadn't been the worst of all.

I didn't order anyone around, no, I followed my schedule as per usual. I'd wake up early and run off to have my lessons with Gunter- which were filled with the most tense readings of children's books in the world- then pester Xander in his study about what exactly was going on in Nohr- though I think he quite enjoyed my interest. If I hadn't kept the man from doing too much work, he'd take me to the training yard to watch the soldiers brawl and march, if not, I'd be free to roam about the castle with Peri and Laslow in addition to my own retainers till noon. Afterwards, I would be set to train with him until he was either summoned off to do more work, or deemed I was done for the day. Surely with something as strict as that, and with how little I requested from Felicia nowadays, I wouldn't be much of an issue, right? 

Wrong. 

It all started on that first day after the masquerades' grand announcement when I had decided I wouldn't be attending the masquerade. I kept it to myself besides the offhanded mention to Felicia, where, besides her over-the-top, outstanding, "You can't do that!" all went well.

After the following three days, however, it became a different story. Somehow, one of Camilla's retainers had overheard me and reported it to her. This led to her keeping me from both Xander's study and the possible training yard trip to instead lecture me on my duties, where I wonderfully learned my presence was as mandatory as hers "if not more." She had tried to lighten my spirits afterwards by saying she would be able to have me leave Krakenburg for when I'd get my dress fitted that day.

She was sadly mistaken thinking I would give in so easily. Damn Garon and all he organized. I'd easily sacrifice a day out if it meant getting away from him... no matter how enticing it was.

Beginning that afternoon, I started dodging her every chance I had, and to my luck, my schedule lined up exactly with hers when it came to being active, meaning I could still easily attend my combat lesson with Xander and hide till nightfall.

The day after was when the odds started to lean away from me. Instantly, Felicia was pit against me, her job now to catch me and take me to Camilla, but she wasn't alone. With her were Beruka and Selena, Camilla's own retainers. With the help of Niles and Odin though, I was able to keep out of their sights and go through my day.

Unfortunately, today was when it had all changed.

I had woken up with a chill down my spine and only Laslow to escort me, who instead of taking me to the library, rushed me to a dark corner.

"Milady, Odin and Niles have been ordered by Camilla to take you to her. Gunter is in on this as well, and I'm next. The second Xander hears of this- it's all over. You'll have no choice but to comply! You must hide!"

Felicia instantly became an issue with my retainers on her side. Her ability to gauge when I needed food was impeccable, and that combined with their knowledge of the only routes I knew to the kitchens equaled a near knockout for my running in the first hour.

I had been inches away from stealing a sweet roll, when I was grabbed by Odin and scurried out of the room, but I was resourceful and after a half hearted threat of turning into a dragon, I was able to break free and escape to my room where I had to quietly dodge Felicia as she searched for me. 

Beruka and Selena were next. Their skills were akin to a ninja's when it came to hiding, but that hint of Nohrian flare with their clunky armor tipped me off every time. If I heard a klink or chink when I was alone in the halls, I knew it was time to abandon my shoes and run as fast as I could, which meant they were easily avoidable once I focused.

Niles though... Niles was easily the most intimidating of them all. The clicking of his boots was always at my ear. The briefest glimpses of him were all I'd ever be given, and after each sighting came a coy hum that made my very bones chill. If I hid in a room, I'd see his shadow pass under the door. If I ran down a hall, his steps would quicken with mine. When I stopped, all sound went still. But unlike the others, he only started trying to catch me when Peri and Laslow became involved; giving me one of the most horrific scares of my life so far.

 

It was noon, and I had stopped, crippled by my growling stomach and burning lungs when I had heard it- the sound of his footsteps racing towards me. With a glance behind me, I saw only a blur as he rounded a corner, gaining miles in milliseconds. With a gasp I bolted down the hall, and after dodging nearly all of my assailants, I threw myself through a set of doors. A hiding Felicia and Laslow locked the doors behind me, and I was trapped before none other than Xander, who'd, amazingly, been kept in the dark nearly the entire week. 

His cold, stern expression knocked all the fight from me, and the conversation following only set my defeat in stone.

He shook his head and approached me, eyes locked on mine with an unwavering stare.

"I'm disappointed in you Corrin," he'd began. "You halted an entire day's work for countless people to go on this chase. Then, Camilla had to involve not only me, but Gunter in this childish game, keeping him from being easily accessible to my father." My fingers picked at my skirts as my guilt rose. "I had to round up my retainers from training to hunt you down, to learn that they already knew what you were doing, and even better, you had been going about avoiding Camilla for days whilst I was still going about our activities! The masquerade is tomorrow and I'm just hearing about your lack of dressing and refusal to go." He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

"I understand you wishing not to be apart of this, especially after all you've been through, but it is our job to attend these events. We represent Nohr's next generation, we represent its current standings and its strength. We have to be a part of every social event, no matter if it's a small gathering or ball for the entire country, we  **have**  to attend. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Then prove it to me by accompanying Camilla to Windmire to have you ready for the party." With a haste nod, I turned on my heel. "And Corrin," I looked to him. He positioned his hands behind his back and his posture straightened out further. "I would hope that you never do this again. I personally don't enjoy using war tactics to find my wife, and learning how easily she can be captured once a general is involved."

 

I had left that room with a feeling of guilt and embarrassment that following me all throughout my trip in the carriage, where, I was put through the most unbearable ride of my life. I learned early on Camilla's disappointment stung almost as harshly as Xander's. However, unlike him, hers was filled with sadness rather than frustration.

Though she accepted my apology, I felt as though it did nothing to comfort her for all the trouble I caused, but her mood slowly shifted once we came to the shop.

 

Odin took my hand and helped me down the steps as I walked into a brief new world. In my short glance before being bustled inside, I saw a nearly barren street, illuminated by a row of flaming braziers. The air at my skin was biting and cold with a scent of musty ash. But all too quickly, that harsh sight was thrown away, and I was whisked inside a warm shop smelling of pumpkin. 

Felicia let out a short gasp behind me, her shunning and hate from our ride here washed away.

"Oh my goodness!" she whispered as she stood at my side, nearly pushing Niles out of the way to have a better view of the room. She bounced on her heels with excitement as she looked around, wonder dazzling behind her icy blue eyes. I joined her the moment I looked up.

The main room was stunning with its red carpet accented by golden designs that practically shimmered along side the hanging chandelier. We were basked in a wonderful golden light that screamed elegance and comfort while the floor was filled with rack upon rack of fabrics in every color, pattern, and texture imaginable. The three, equally grandiose doors stationed at each wall had me itching to see what else this place had in store. 

"There's so much..." I said, nearly drooling. By the gods, is this really what a struggling country looks like?

A prickling laugh echoed through the room, and out the center door came a short, plump woman in the most extravagant clothes I'd ever seen. A thin, red pipe hung lose between her lips, and a blackened mole sat just above it. Her cat-like eyes looked at me with amusement as she swayed toward our group. The green powder above her lashes shimmered brilliantly when she bowed.

"This is nothing. You should see the fabrics room." Came her deep voice. She turned to Camilla, who gave her a welcome nod. "It's wonderful to see you again Lady Camilla! Your visits make this dull place more lively."

"Dull?" Odin quipped from behind me. The woman laughed once more.

"Well, I'm assuming this trip is for Lady Corrin and you regarding the masquerade?"

"Yes." Camilla nodded. The woman tapped her pipe on her lips. 

"This process takes days, weeks, Lady Camilla, especially for dresses for nobles such as you."

"I know, Mistress Couture, but surely you can make this work for us? We were all so busy." She glanced to me, I released an awkward chortle. Mistress Couture drew in a long breath and paused. She popped the pipe back into her mouth then nodded.

"I can-" Camilla let out a relief filled sigh- "but, I'm going to dock you extra considering this has to be done by tomorrow!" 

"Do what you must." She said with a wave of her hand. She took my arm and gave me a smile. "Come now, let's find you your fabrics. Felicia, join us if you'd like." 

The maid jumped up with a gasp.

"Really!"

"Of course, surely you can help Corrin in what she choses. Ah, and Mistress Couture, you'll be sure to have my and Corrin's retainers dressed as well won't you?"

"I'll have my attendants see to them," She motioned towards the left of the room, before pointing her smile to me, "I'll be with you two." I leaned away from her and flashed her a sharp toothed, awkward grin. Her brow twitched and she averted her eyes.

"Camilla don't put us in dresses." Selena quietly begged. Camilla gave her a motherly smile. 

"You'll look wonderful, I assure you."

"Miss, it's not the look I'm worried about!" she hissed. Beruka stepped forward and bowed her head for a moment.

"Yes, Milady, what if-"

Before she could go on, a band of men and women emerged from the left room and whisked them away like a flood. The remaining three of us were hurried into the right room, where inside was a space filled to the brim with premade dresses and fabrics. Felicia nearly fainted.

"C-Corrin! Corrin! Can I look! Please! Please!" she whispered once Camilla had sauntered off with the mistress. 

"Go wild," I whispered. She squeaked and scurried off to a far corner. I let out a soft giggle as her giddiness instilled inside me. With a long breath I stroked an orange silk hung up on a rack that sported white flowers expertly sewed in designs across it. Surely... though I was against Garon and all he did... it would be all right to enjoy one night that he had orchestrated. 

Who knows, considering the journey to the Ice Tribe coming any day now, it could be my last night filled with enjoyment.

Yes, I think I can enjoy one night.

And considering that person who had requested me earlier in the week, tonight could very well be my last if Camilla was wrong on her assessment of them. They could easily be a Garon enthusiast ready to end me.

I should downright relish tomorrow. 

I sucked in a breath and looked across the expanse of cloth. My grin grew, and I hurried to a line of fabrics embroidered with flora.

It was an... interesting process.

I eventually came to Camilla and the Mistress's side when after nearly an hour of thumbing through fabrics, I was still left without a set choice. Camilla had found hers within minutes, choosing a deep blue the Mistress fawned over endlessly, while I was hopeless. It was only when my frustration was beginning to bite at my enjoyment, did I find it, hidden between two silky reds.

It was a deep burgundy, a single shade darker than the capes Xander wore with his bulky, black armor, and I would be lying if I said he wasn't in my mind when I saw it. The fabric was soft to the touch, and felt like short brushes of my hand he'd give when the day had ended. Whether it be by the fire or in the midst of the night, thinking I was fast asleep when his hands delicately touched my cheek. The memory alone made my heart race, and my choice even more set in stone. 

I looked to the Mistress and brought it off the rack.

"Ah... I don't quite think that's your color, Milady, what about a black?" Mistress Couture whined. Camilla shook her head and gave me a knowing smile that reddened my cheeks.

"I think it's perfect." Her fingers gently touched my arm. "Shall we have you draw up the designs and take measurements?" Camilla asked. 

"Of course, Miss. Of course," she said, quickly brushing away her disappointment.

The process following was horrible to say the least. We were shuffled into the middle door where Camilla and I were forced to strip down to our small clothes whilst we were measured. I tried to ignore the odd stares the woman gave to my back, but they'd itched at me anyways. It doesn't matter, I'd think. The dress will cover them later, I'd chant. I'm fine.

But when Mistress Couture had drawn up our dresses, the sight of mine had left me... anxious... to say the least. It was beautiful, but... I don't think it was made with Hoshidan values in mind.

It was thick at its base with a fluff that did look quite nice considering the designs she doodled overtop. It was as we ascended to my waist did I get nervous. I could tell from how curvy she decided to draw me, she had knocked a few inches of my measurements in hopes to accentuate what little I had, and considering how low the collar was and how else she drew me, I was positive she was set on having me choking in the tightest corset in existence. The only thing I truly approved of was the long billowing sleeves, that, if more rectangular and sewed closed would be that of a kimono's. 

Even so, I was definitely not going out to a party in that.

"I... I'm not so sure, Mistress Couture..." I muttered. Camilla leaned over to look at the sheet of parchment in my hands.

"Oho. I think it will be wonderful on you Corrin!" she encouraged.

"You Hoshidans and your modesty." The Mistress snorted, and ripped the page from my grasp. I narrowed my eyes. 

"It's how I was raised." I snapped.

"Oh, I'm quite aware," she said, plopping back down into her chair. I clenched my fists. 

"You know I wouldn't tell you how sl-" Camilla coughed and knocked my thigh with hers. I crossed my arms and silenced myself with a grumble as my pendant warmed under my collar. I tapped my foot as my anger boiled. 

_You Hoshidans._

I let out an annoyed grunt.

I rose to my feet and stomped towards her. With a prissy smile, I plucked the paper back from her hands. She let out a shocked breath as I stepped away. I paced for a moment then met her gaze with one filled with fire and sass while she rose to her feet to approach me. I was ready to rip those fake eyelashes right of her face."You know what."I dropped it in her hands. "Bring down the collar even more." I rose my chin. "Less fluff. Make it practically stick to me." I threw out my hands. "Cut a slip so I can pop out a leg, for all I care!" I stabbed a finger at her and squinted my eyes. "If I feel like something isn't going to fall out of the dress, you're doing it wrong." I slammed my bottom back into my seat and crossed my legs. Camilla let out a pleased laugh and handed the mistress her paper. Felicia leaned towards me.

"Corrin, are you sure?" She whispered. "Any lower on the neckline and everyone at the party will have a pretty good idea what you're packing under there."

"I'm sure." I said, holding back a glare to the seamstress. She smiled pleasantly and went back to her desk and began drawing once more. "I'm a princess, it's my job to stand out." I said with the cross of my arms.

"It's your job to keep the country from falling apart, not your dress!" she hissed.

The mistress came back and held out her new design. 

"Oh my..." Camilla cooed.

"By. The. Gods." Felicia said, putting a hand to her forehead.

"I love it," I said crossing my arms, not bothering to even glance at the page.

"You're being- By the gods, she's being serious." She threw up her hands. "Gods, if my mother saw me in something like that she'd kill me if she didn't faint first!" Felicia slumped back into her seat.

The mistress smiled and swiped the page away. "Wonderful. Then, I'll have you two come back here in the morning so I can have the fabrics hemmed and properly set on you. If we're lucky, you'll be ready just in time for dinner."

Come back we did, so early Xander was still asleep when I was awoken by Felicia. Opting not to disturb him, I left without word or note into the pitch black morning.

When we arrived, the retainers were dressed first, and shown off to us, and I couldn't help but smile at the show Odin and Niles put on in their wonderfully fashioned suits and animal themed masks. 

"Lady Corrin, can we keep these?" Odin asked as he posed with an unamused Selena. He puckered his lips at her, and she dulled out a relentless slap to his face. Niles let out a whistle and clicked his tongue at her.  She immediately went back to her tense, cross-armed stance as Odin licked his wounds. Camilla let out a laugh and nuzzled her retainers' faces.

"I think the two of you look absolutely adorable." Selena groaned. 

"Milady, if there were to be an attack, we would struggle heavily in these dresses," Beruka sputtered, thumbing awkwardly at her puffy blue dress. Selena bunched up the crimson chiffon of her gown and threw it down in a hasty agreement.

"Milady, she's absolutely right! You could be injured or worse, all because we were dolled up! Why don't you just let this go and get your money back." Camilla laughed and leaned back, deflating Selena in one motion. She pressed a hand onto her waist and looked over her retainers, smile soft and serpent-like as always.

"Dears, I'll be fine tonight," she assured them, "and I've no doubt you can manage if anything were to happen." She gave them a warm smile. "I want you two to enjoy yourselves. Take a night off, you've earned it."

"You- but-" Selena was hastily cut off.

"No buts. You two are going to enjoy yourselves tonight, that's an order."

 Come to think of it, have my own retainers had any time to themselves since I've shown up?

"Niles and Odin," I piped in, "you two as well. You deserve it."

"Thank you Milady," they responded with a bow, each having a different level of excitement at the freedom. I smiled, pleased with my charity, and turned to Felicia.

"If I could, Felicia, I'd give you time off as well." I offered. She sighed and waved me off.

"I'm on serving duty till midnight," She paused, "Though... letting me sleep in would be nice. I could help out Dwyer a bit before I came to you."

"Done."

Once the retainers were finished, the mood of the day changed from lighthearted, to dreadful as Camilla, Felicia, and I were all shuffled into the middle room, where began the lengthy process of fixing and completing our outfits.

It took well over twelve hours to have both my and Camilla's desses finished. In that time I was pricked an uncountable amount, and squeezed into a front-lacing corset so small I thought my ribs would break, but that wasn't even the worst of it. No- the dress was the worst of it all.

Of all times to let my temper get the best of me... 

This was my punishment...

When it was done; when every seam was stitched and every golden rose embroidered, I was left in utter, stuffed, despair. 

"Honestly," Couture began, putting a hand to her chin, "I never thought this would work, but, I think it's the best I've done in ages..." she remarked, blowing a ring of smoke over my shoulder. I crossed my arms over my chest and turned to Camilla, who, might I add, somehow looked more stunning than usual.

Dawned in a feathery, serpent-like mask that matched the dark blue of her dress, she sported the look of a siren in a billowing gown that drug behind her. 

"You look great!" I said, trying to push off the stares from Felicia as I awkwardly covered all my bare skin.

"As do you darling." She eased my arms away from me, and led me to the mirror. "Now, let's have you look at yourself before we leave."

"N-no, I'll be fine, I don't need to-" I glanced up- "see..."

I started at my feet, timidly looking at heels before I moved up, following the bold peek of a pale leg that popped forth with a sort of flare before my gaze climbed with the slit of the dress. The dark burgundy of the gown flowed around my form and peppered me in golden roses that trailed up from the floor to cup my waist and arms. Sleeves, long and billowing opened at my elbow, and cradled the expanse of my forearm. They hung regally, queen-ish, unlike the cleavage that so lewdly spilled over the top of my dress. 

Gods, if Orochi could see me now, or mother for that matter. They both would have no doubt laughed at how stiff I looked in this thing.

_"Come now, you look like you're about to pop. Look like a queen! You have a dashing prince waiting for you after all!"_

I'd either get frustrated at that, or I'd skulk to my room. Maybe both. 

Probably both.

_"Oh, don't tease her Orochi, she's just nervous. She's never worn anything like this. But, you look wonderful my little dragon."_

No doubt an eye roll would accompany that, but I'd eventually get used to it... Somehow they'd give me that confidence boost through their quips and remarks; leaving no man, woman or child out of their teasing.

I wish they were here.

I locked eyes with myself before looking away, almost shamefully to examine the mask set at the bridge of my nose. It was the most modest and plain thing I'd seen in all of Nohr, and I could've celebrated it for that fact. The golden, rubbery thing's only mark of flare was the shimmer and glitter pasted on last minute.

Maybe the nobles will focus more on the mask than the dress...

Maybe Xander woke up blind today as well...

I found my eyes again and began to shrink away as my chest tightened. This thing was nothing like me. It was lewd. Tt was disgusting, and I.... I don't like it. I don't want those nobles to look at me. I don't want  _him_ to look at me. 

I can see it now... his shock, that would fade to disgust before he turned from me. My nails dug into my palms. 

I crossed my arms over my chest and met Camilla's soft gaze in the mirror. My lips turned to a frown.

"I..." I don't feel beautiful, with those scars that spilled over the back of the low back of the dress. I don't feel okay whilst a scrap of black smallclothes peeked around my hip. It was new, it was different, and I didn't want any part of it.

Camilla carefully sat my circlet on my head, and slipped my necklace around my neck. She placed her hands on my shoulders and gave me a proud, motherly smile as she pressed herself against me. 

"You look stunning, darling. And don't take that away from yourself." I twisted my body, and pulled the skin at my back to see the scabbed wounds to better pick myself apart. She took my hand, and sat it at my stomach. "Scars are nothing."

"Scars are everything."

"To who? What man or woman would ever care?" She asked, tilting her head. "We're in Nohr darling, men and women both are drafted off no matter their rank. Half of those nobles have seen far worse than a few lashings, and," She shook her head. "who cares if they talk about such petty things?" She stepped away from me and smiled as though no one in the world could ever touch her. "Have you heard what the gossip mongrels say of me?"

I looked down. "No, and I don't wish to." She let out a breath and came to my height. She cupped my face and tilted my head to meet her eye.

"Darling, never once in my life have I let them get to me." She narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "Don't let them win when you have so much to gain." She let go of me. "Besides, tonight isn't about them. It's about us and how prosperous our father is." She bobbed her head to the side and motioned back to the mirror where I focused my attention on once more. "And, to celebrate our own works as a family."

"You mean to celebrate the attack on the Ice Tribe?" I frowned and flicked my hand."This is just as much about us being some cliche, royal, preened family as it is about his rear end!"

Camilla glanced to the Mistress, who had been mostly minding her own business at her desk till now. She let out a soft breath and lowered her voice.

"Not here, Corrin. Not anywhere, keep these things to yourself," she warned. "Please." I looked to the floor. But I was right, and she damn well knew it. She knew it, Felicia knew it, Dwyer no matter how young knew it, and by the gods, I knew Xander knew it. This was about his power, and I bet, if I looked into it hard enough, it was no doubt some jab at me as well. It isn't like he called me traitor or humiliated me.

My breath smoked as I whipped back to the mirror. Camilla sighed.

"Come now, let's not think of that."

"What else is there to think?" I asked, steaming as I crossed my arms. She smiled deviously. 

"Your husband for one." She flicked up her eyebrows. I nearly choked on my breath.

"What about him?" I held my heated stone loosley between my fingertips. She smirked and held her chin.

"Well, I had an interesting conversation with him after dinner last night." My face went red. Ah, how wonderful. It wasn't as though she asked us if we had "convened" yet in front of all our retainers. What else could she have done.

"Oh?" I tried to swallow down my fear.

"I may have done some prying dear, forgive me for that- though I really should be apologizing to Xander," She snickered. "but, to sum it all up, he said he was 'quite excited' to see you tonight." My heart fluttered.

"O-oh..." I twisted and twirled my pendant between my fingers and looked back into the mirror, scrutinising every lewd aspect, until I came to a pink, stand alone scar that peaked out between my breasts. My fingers brushed it absently. "Do you think..." I looked to the golden roses that cradled my curves, and my leg, peeping so scantily from the dress. "Do you think he'd like it?" I whispered. Her smile sweetened.

"Darling, he's still only a man. He'd be a fool not to grovel at your feet tonight."

"Ha. To think..."

To think of his eyes... or his hands, something of him yearning for me to the point of grovelling and somehow liking this... gross thing and it's scars. Ha...

How improbable.

But the picture of his eyes, softened in such a public setting over something so simple, or to have his attention full, and complete with so much going on, I-I won't deny it wouldn't be... wonderful. My heart warmed. 

"Miladies," the Mistress said, clasping her hands as she came to us, "since I'm sure you'll be needing to leave soon, may I pry and ask if you are satisfied with my work?" 

Camilla smiled and gave her a nod. "Of course, you've done a wonderful job as always, Mistress Couture." She smiled pleasantly before looking to me. Our eyes locked and I hastily looked back to myself.

I tried to examine myself more fondly and tilted my body to get a better view. If I didn't think of the scars or my morals, I guess I did look... nice. Possibly. The Mistress did do a fantastic job on the dress in such a short time. Though, I wasn't quite the fan, it was what I asked for... and it would be rude to knock her for such a beautiful piece...

"Thank you, for making something so pretty for me."

She let out a coy laugh and waved us off. "Oh ho, thank you thank you, Lady Corrina. I don't deserve such praise."

"It's Corrin," I mumbled. Her face turned a shade darker and she laughed again, waving harder.

"A joke, Miss, a joke." She looked to her assistants and popped her face back to us. "Oh well, look at the time. You two will surely be late!"

Camilla let out a disappointed hum.

"Yes... you would be right." She gave me glance. "We should be going. We do have people waiting for us after all." My face turned red.

 

 

We left with the best of wishes from the mistress and her assistants, as well as a whispered mutter of the bill, an amount that had even me reeling, though Camilla only nodded, with a smile of all things! Once in the carriage however, she rolled her eyes.

"That woman has overpriced me before, but that was ridiculous! She's lucky we're late." She scoffed. "Greedy craven." 

On the way, we were left to have Felicia quickly do what she could with our hair, though, I let her focus entirely on Camilla and pull a bunch of silver strands over a shoulder. With my racing mind however, I began to regret not having her yanks at my head to keep my mind off the party looming closer and closer.

I thumbed at the fine seams of my dress, and rubbed delicate lines over the designs she had finished not minutes before. My legs still ached from the endless standing and pricks I received, but... it was reduced only to a pleasant throb as I thought of the party, not minutes away with the throb in my heart being more potent when I saw  _his_  eyes in my thoughts. 

What would he really think of me? Surely it would be more dynamic than what I expected.

Would he be as embarrassed and nervous as I was? Would he scoff and turn from me like he never had before? Or, would against all odds, he'd actually like it, even if I felt like a whole different person squeezed in it?

Suddenly, he felt so out of my league. So above me that I couldn't even think of gaining his attention and to be fair, after so long, how wouldn't I eventually begin to think it? This man was raised with a future in his eyes whilst the biggest plan I ever had was daydreaming of a life away from monarchs. My future as a queen was as prosperous as a rock trying to float. So what if I had more morals than Nohr's king, a murderer did as well. So what if I had opinions that aligned others, what did good it matter if I couldn't hold a pen to what my husband could do?

So, why should he look to me?

Why should he look to me when there were hundreds of women more capable and more beautiful than me? If there was a woman equal to him, why should I be chosen instead? 

The thoughts plagued me as we all too quickly coasted through the flame and lightning lit streets. Minutes passed by in seconds and we had already found ourselves inside the protective walls around the pit of Krakenburg. The carriage rolled to a slow stop, and our retainers, hauled up in the vehicles behind us, opened our doors. 

Odin offered me a gloved hand, and watched me with a comforting smile as I humbly bowed my head and shuffled down. He gave me his arm and escorted me to the stairs descending into the nobles territory, and as we leisurely strolled down the floors and crossed the bridge to the castle's interior, he offered me a polite, but equally theatric banter of encouragement that had me grinning ear to ear.

"Good luck, Milady," he said with a bow of his head once we'd found Camilla and the rest of the retainers. 

"Enjoy yourself tonight, Odin." I pulled away from him and approached Camilla. She smiled and turned to our small group.

"With that, you all are free to do as you please. Having a good time is the only order we give," she announced. I nodded in agreement. 

Odin and Niles gave each other a mischievous smile that made a chill run down my spine. Beruka and Selena on the other hand... Beruka, though mostly indifferent, seemed generally uncomfortable with the idea of time off, and Selena was outright fussing over it. She clenched her fists and set her jaw as she looked away, absolutely angered at the mere idea of not working.

I wonder what it felt like to have retainers that cared for you so?

Stars, and a deep blue yukata flicked back in my mind as a warm summer's breeze momentarily warmed my shoulders. I swallowed thick, and pushed down the memory. Tonight wasn't a time to think of the past or worry of the future... tonight was tonight and that's all I should focus on. No more scars. No more mysterious requests. No silver gauntlets or white capes, only golden hair and wine.

The retainers gave us a final bow before moving their group down the hall to the ballroom. I felt Camilla take my hand when my eyes lingered on the doors for much too long. I looked back to her and we took a step towards them. The guards standing outside gave us a questioning look asking if we were ready to enter, and to my disdain, she nodded.

They opened with a creaking refrain, and Xander's words from so long ago peaked my mind. Every single chair was filled, and every inch of that endless table was covered with foods of varying excitement as they approached the head. A roar of laughter and chatter filled the room as we, unbeknownst to them, stood in the doorway, hidden from most, if not all of the nobles. Alcohol was served by the gallon, and its potent effect had toasts sputtered out for the king and even Xander. Every fine dressed man and woman was bathed in a wonderful golden light that had me in awe at the grandeur of it all.

"Oh!"Camilla's voice brought me back to reality. "We should take these off," she said as she plucked off her mask. "Father would make a fuss if we came in late and broke his rule of the party."

I slipped of my mask and held it with a deathly grip as I stared ahead. A woman met my eyes, and leaned to her partner, pointing, whispering. I let go of Camilla's hand, and took a step back. The man glanced to me, though, his eyes didn't exactly fall onto mine. I bit down on my lip and felt my back bump against a soldier. I let out a sharp breath and stepped away.

"Corrin?" Camilla furrowed her eyebrows in a mother's concern.

"I-" I sat my hands at my chest to cover the cleavage spilling over top- "I'm not sure, Camilla. I'm not sure I should be here." I looked to my mask and rubbed its glittery, rough surface. I tilted it, and watched it catch on the golden light. I sucked in a deep breath and looked ahead, the two silent nobles now hardly stared at me. Hardly gave me a glance. They went about their business, and muched carelessly. I was... nothing to them.

"Of course you should, dear." she cooed, coming to my side. She rubbed my arm in a comforting manor and motioned to the table. "If it's any consolation, I can guarantee you they've seen much more shocking than a dragon in a dress." 

I cocked a brow. "What, exactly, could be more shocking?" She smirked.

"One of my father's lovers walked in stark naked and drunk proclaiming her love for him." I let out a laugh and cupped my mouth to hide a snort. "My mother was furious, but he couldn't stand to turn away any of his suitors, so he let her stay in all her glory till she fell asleep at the table."

"Gods." I mumbled as I looked to the people. Though they gave us small glances, it was as though we didn't exist. 

"You see, the most attention you'll get from them tonight is when we're announced. You have nothing to fear, I promise you." I sucked in a breath and nodded. On my exhale I tried to force all the stress and anxiousness from my bones, but a twinge of it still rattled in my chest and it took the form of Xander. 

For a moment, a split second of a time, I told myself he didn't exist, and for said moment, it was enough to exclaim I was ready, and walk through the doors as the guards announced us.

I kept my chin up, but my eyes lowered as I followed her. My heart raced. My throat burned. Sweat pooled under my arms.

My fingers ran small lines over the mask as I focused on the grainy feeling and not the respectful silence very quickly washing over the room. Our footfalls, the clicks of the heels resounded through the room. My hands began to tremble, and I tightened my grip.

Like a wave, the room had gone quiet. With every single person going still as though they toppled like dominoes. There was a murmur, a small tinkle of silverware against china, as the conversations fell and dropped like flies. The only sound that remained was a single voice; a prince muttering to his father before like a snap everything stilled, save for a single, jarring noise, that caused both Camilla and I to stop. With a jump, I looked up as a chair screeched against the floor.

Xander rose up from the table- lips parted- soul laid bare and open on his shirt as he saw me- truly saw me for what seemed like the first time in his life. His eyes just hardly caressed my body. They only barely traced my curves and skipped across my chest before they met mine and glinted, glimmered even, as they looked deeper than I had ever known. Jaw twitching with words he couldn't manage, his chest heaved for a single beat of breath before he bowed his head in a greeting a second too late, "Princess Camilla, Li-" He squeezed his eyes closed, before letting an even breath escape his teeth. His eyes fell to mine, and he offered a calming smile to me the moment my hand seized my pendant. "Princess Corrin." He stood straight and cleared his throat. "It's wonderful to have you tonight." He sat back down, eyes locked on the table as Garon leaned over to whisper some nonsense of what they were discussing earlier. 

 "Thank you, dear brother." Camilla curtseyed and offered me a small look that egged me to do the same.

"Thank you." I mumbled with the bow of my head, but beyond the calm facade I put forth, and the attention now flocking to me from the prince's interest that I tried to vault off, my mind was absolutely reeling. My heart was racing harder and faster than ever before I could even comprehend what had just happened.

I approached my seat, his gaze flicking and burning me in short bursts as I thanked the butler who pulled out my seat. The crowd returned to their pointless chitter, and I waved off the servant as he attempted to pile a plateful of pilaf rice onto my platter. I gave an awkward point to the venison, and sat on my hands, knowing well I couldn't stand the smell of rice anymore. 

The grease and seasonings seemed to cloud the food when the slab of meat fell to my plate. I had the urge to push it as far away as possible, and it was only the shoulder that brushed against mine that had my rising hands fall in my lap.

Xander's warm breath rolled across the shell of my ear.

"You look..." A small puff of air hit my cheek. "beautiful, Corrin. I-..." I heard his swallow, before he leaned back, cutting himself short. It was a relief to see his own nerves were pricking tonight. Every string of him seemed to be pulled tight.

"Thank you," I whispered, poking at my food before taking a lengthy "glance" at him. "You look quite dashing yourself," I muttered, looking at the sight the same way I looked to the Nohrian characters and writings. Lost.

Utterly, profoundly, lost.

He wore a snow white cravat that nestled high between a black collar which, to my dismay, merged easily into a princely outfit only a demon could conjure. The tight black top was adorned with golden buttons and cords that stretched and clung much too well and much too close to his broad chest. His choking, coal pants stuck to his built legs and- I ripped my eyes away to have a quick glance to his glitzing riding boots rising to his thighrs that did nothing to draw away from- I swallowed hard and chomped down on the inside of my cheek. I looked to safer territory and focused on the only innocent, relieving aspect of his outfit: a sash and cape, the same color of my dress.

"We're matching." I mussed as I tried to inconspicuously float my eyes back to his face. 

He glanced down and a small, surprised hum left his lips.

"Oh- we-" He cleared his throat and brushed a peice of hair behind his ear. "It seems we are." He met my gaze and a pleased smile washed over his face. My face flushed, and I hastily turned to my plate and crammed a piece of overly seasoned food into my mouth.

I swallowed down a fiery brick of food, and reached for the glass situated across from me as pain pumped through my throat. I brought it to my lips and after inhaling dust like a fish from its emptiness, I slammed it back onto the table. I bumped a fist lightly against my collarbone and let out a cough, swallowing hastily to keep myself from bursting into a choking spree. 

"Here," I felt a large hand at my nape, and a cold cup at lips, "drink." He tilted back the cup and I greedily drunk the burning liquid. He pulled it from my lips, and I bowed my head in thanks. Though, it was mostly to shield my burning cheeks as I had an internal breakdown.

A piece of hair fell in front of my eyes. He let out a soft noise. The hand at my neck slipped around, and brushed it back behind my ear. His fingertips caressed my jawline as he retreated. I looked up to meet his eye, as my heart thundered so loud I feared he could hear it.

Gods. My hands were shaking. I entwined my fingers and played with my ring.

He twisted his ring, whilst a small, bashful smile pulled at his lips.

"You really do look stunning tonight." I looked down, almost ready to accept the compliment when, I saw it- my cleavage, a grim reminder of my attention. I sighed as I grew disheartened. 

"You're only saying that because of the- well... because of the," I waded my hand through the air as I bit at the word. I let out a huff when he sat oblivious and nonchalantly motioned to my chest. He let out a surprised chortle.

"What? No, not at all." He glanced to his hand. "Corrin," he drew in a breath, "I'm saying it because," His eyes flicked between mine."after all the chances I've had to tell you, this was the only time I've ever had the courage." I felt his fingers brush against mine, before engulfing my hands in his palms."You're beautiful, like you were yesterday, and the day before that..."

My face flushed as I tried to hold onto what remnants of my heart remained from the initial attack. Xander cleared his throat and pulled away.

He took a silent sip of his wine and I looked down to my food, a pleasant feeling washing over me. My fallen gaze faltered when I felt him entwine our fingers. Without drawing any attention to it, he went about himself and set down his drink. I smiled as I decided to seize this opportunity and stroked the side of his thumb while I munched scarcely on venison that tasted of dirt and hell.

He rested his chin on his hand, covering his mouth as he looked forward. The tip of a grin bubbled through his fingertips and I watched his eyes sparkle at the attention I gave him. He poked at his plate, filled and completely untouched by him, and I couldn't help but pester him as I did every day, every time I saw him.

"Have you eaten today?"

"I... forgot," he muttered as he stabbed a long, fruitlike thing I definitely didn't recognise. I smiled with encouragement. 

"You're doing well, just," I shrugged a shoulder, "eat something when you're getting ready,or when you get into your study." An idea popped into my mind. "Oh! I can bring you food when I see you!" He bobbed his head in acknowledgment of my plan and took a test nibble of his food before taking a full bite. "You know, Nohr has surprisingly good sweet rolls. You might like some of those..." I muttered. I tapped his hand in thought. I wasn't exactly sure what he liked in truth. He always ate what I told him to on those occasions he'd forget. "Jerky? I... I'm not really sure what foods are actually good here. I mostly stick to broth at this point...." Gods, I wish they had broth at the dinner.

"I'm fine with whatever you bring me." He mumbled as he took another mouthful. I smiled and patted his fingers.

"Okay then. Though, I probably shouldn't bring you sweet rolls since I'd probably eat them on the way." The corner of his mouth tipped up in a smile before he took another drink of wine. He motioned for a waiter to refill his cup, and my own was finally filled as well. We took a drink in time with each other and the two of us released an awkward chortle.

"You know, ah-" He shrugged and held his glass to his chin, "Peri makes wonderful sweets." His ears began to blush. "I could always have her make you a few. If you wish, of course." He swallowed and took another long drink to hide his face. I smiled to myself and caressed his hand.

"I'd love some."

A small, wispy laugh rolled across the table.

"I truly have missed some things." Azura's voice came. 

Camilla let out a giggle. "I told you, dear, you really need to spend more time with us."

Xander dropped his head as his face flushed, but I was nearly ecstatic to see Azura, no matter how awkward we were together. She had given not a single appearance at all this week, and I was honestly shocked to see her here.

"Azura," I said, finally meeting her gaze, "you look wonderful tonight." She smiled and gave me a small nod.

"Thank you. I think so as well." She flatted down the sides of her plain, black dress. She really did look wonderful. She didn't need a sparkling dress or painted face. She just had to be there, and her beauty, though underappreciated, would be seen. She brushed a piece of hair that had escaped from its bun back behind an ear and grinned softly. "From Xander's reaction, I'm sure you've already been showered in enough compliments tonight so, I won't add on any extra embarrassment."

"Thank you." I said, giving his hand a small squeeze. He sighed.

"I didn't mean to cause a scene, truly I just-" Azura put up a hand to silence him.

"I'd have done the same were it my own partner." Azura claimed. Camilla let out a sneering laugh.

"So forward, Azura. I'd love to see that day for myself," she mussed. Azura took a sip of her drink and hummed.

"As would I." she claimed slyly. "Though, I don't see what's wrong with it. If you appreciate someone, it should be shown."

"I agree." Xander said with a squeeze of my hand. My heart skipped a beat. I blinked, and looked to him. He smiled, an awkward, little sort of smile that had every inch of me rotting with it's sweetness. 

Azura smiled over her glass, and took another drink. Camilla hummed, before giving me a wink that had me reaching for another bite of food, no matter how disgusting.

A tinkling noise shot through the air and we all looked to the head of the table. Xander straightened in his seat as Garon slowly rose from his seat. A condescending smile plastered his face whilst he looked across the congregation, and when his eyes locked onto mine, Xander's grip tightened.

The King let out a soft sneer before facing forward. He raised up his golden chalice with a smug grin, and the roaring crowd reduced to a silent murmur under his heavy hand. He wasted no time to get to the point.

"I do believe it's time to get on with the real festivities of the night," he announced. Camilla slyly rolled her eyes and glugged down the remnants of her glass. She rested her chin on her hand, and looked on with the most lack of interest I'd ever seen her hold. "From this point on, you are free to do as you please-" He smirked- "within reason of course." He raised his chin. "May your night be well." With a swig from his drink, he left the room, Gunter and Iago not far behind the trails of his cape. 

Instantly, squeals and whoops shot through the room as all but me and the royal siblings rose from their seats. Women scurried out of the room, dragging their laughing partners behind whilst some took the calmer route and walked as to avoid the blockage already growing at the doors. Either way, an excited air ran about every single one of them. 

I heard a maid quietly sneer to a butler behind me.

"Which one do you think is going to pass out first?"

"Red hair, blue dress, dragging the one who looks like Dmitry."

"Bet on it."

"Fifty silvers."

"Fifty?! Your on!"

Azura let out a groan and rose to her feet. She looked to Camilla and the two shared a sigh before the remaining siblings rose to their feet.

A gloved hand came into my view, and I followed it up to Xander's new addition of a mask. The stark white item sat snugly on only half of his face, stopping just under his nose to stretch over his cheek. He helped me up and raised his brows.

"If it isn't too much to ask," he began, "may I have your first dance?" 

"You can have them all if you'd like," I said, taking his hand rather than his arm and slipping on my mask. He gave me a squeeze before moving to support my elbow.

"I'm going to give you a wonderful time tonight, I promise you. I want to make up for everything, for every tear, for every injury, every single time I or anyone else has worried you since you arrived," a smile pulled at his lips, "let me offer you a good night."

"Let me as well!" I smiled bright and tugged at his arm, eager not for the party, but to dance with him- no, to be with him after such a long day. Gods, after such a long few months. Tonight was ours, no one else's.  And we damn well deserved it. 

He laughed softly and stumbled to keep up with me as I drug him down the hallway. My insecurities, though still rumbling in the back of my mind, were set aside as I stomped them away through the power of utter abandonment.

"You're too generous." He said as we shuffled down the hall.

"Actually," I looked back. "-I'm just being too selfless to let someone else dance with you." He rolled his eyes and offered a small tease.

"Would you happen to be jealous of the idea of someone else dancing with me?" He cocked an eyebrow. I smirked and tugged him closer to me as we stumbled down the hall.

"I can't possibly let someone else deal with your height," I jabbed. "I think I'm the only one qualified to have neck pains at this point, and it's my duty to save the others from such a terrible fate!" He pursed his lips. "Not to mention my situation! I'd feel so bad for the man who had to dance with me that I couldn't even begin to enjoy myself."

"Sound logic, Princess Corrin. We have to combine our shortcomings-"

"Hey!"

An easy, rumbling chuckle floated past his lips- "and work together to keep the public safe. I'll do anything to protect my people."

I giggled and tugged him even closer to me. My heart hammered against my chest as our eyes met. I was nearly breathless from excitement. "So that's that then." I began. I glanced to my fingers, before meeting his eye with an almost timid refrain. "Me and you, the entire party?" His voice turned low and calming as a whirlwind began to roar behind his eyes. 

"Without a doubt."

He shifted to lead me, and we walked inside the ballroom where the millions of nobles were already waltzing and drinking to the music. He raised up my hand, and I twirled as we approached an open spot, the upbeat music leading him to happily spin and sway with me without a care to the surprised nobles looking on at the side of the prince they seemingly never knew existed. Yet, for me, that easy smile and those calloused hands that took so much care as they traced me, were nothing new. 

To me I didn't see the stoic general who'd led a thousand battles, I saw the husband who crumbled against any show of affection; the brother who mourned deeper than a father. My smile grew solemn as he moved easily to the music. 

He twitched and stiffened as my heel came full force onto his boot. I gasped and hastily shifted.

"Sorry!" I hissed. "I still don't know how to dance well."

"You're doing fine," He encouraged, twirling me around slowly as the happy tune seamlessly transitioned into a slower, somber, jazzy one the he no doubt seemed to enjoy.

He pulled me in, and placed a hand at my waist. I slipped a hand up his chest and rested it high on a shoulder. 

"What's this one called?" I asked quietly, pressing my chest against his without a second thought. It seemed so natural to be so close to him. 

He took in a relaxed breath and led me back into step with him. "...Something about diamonds."

I hummed, and fell deep into a spice-teemed trance I never wanted to fall out of.

Whilst we lethargically swayed, I thoughtlessly twisted a golden curl at the nape of his neck while he watched me with a calm, easy expression, his fingers stroking a slow rhythm against my waist and fingers. We inched closer to each other as the endless song played, and soon we found ourselves craning to keep both eye and chest contact. 

I rubbed the skin at under his jaw as the smallest of smiles graced my face. I rested my cheek against his chest and reveled... just reveled in the feeling and sound of his heart.

It was slow and light at first, with only a spike in pace when I accidently brushed a hand at his ear, but eventually, it began to grow and race, thundering in his chest as he so slowly kept himself close to me. He pressed his hand against the small of my back, and there it spiked again. He let out a breath, and just as slow as his racing heart, he stilled. I pulled away.

"Xander?" I dropped my hand to his chest and took a step back to peer up to that puzzle of a man. 

In his eyes glimmered the entire world as he fixed his gaze fully on me. There was no doubt, no flicking gaze, there was just his eyes as their focus, all of their focus was on me. The feeling was crushing, but I was intoxicated by the weight as he took another step forward. His lashes fell over his eyes as he caressed a strand of hair still sat behind my ear. I leaned into his touch without my consent, but the warmth of his hand had me staying there, trapped in his gaze and his hand as my heart raced.

 _"Xander?"_  

"Did you wait for me?" he uttered. My heart stilled in my chest, and for a moment I was left speechless, confused for a fraction of a second before the memory hit me. My jaw trembled, and I touched his arm, my heart racing and fluttering, flying free from my chest and leaving me entirely.

"Yes." I said breathless while every nerve, every bone and cell in my body screamed,  _"Yes. Yes. Yes."_

His lips parted, as he let out a puff of air. With a trembling jaw he searched my face. He slipped both hands around my waist and leaned in, our chests, thundering, met.

"You-... Really? Really, you're not- You still..."

I nodded with excitement. His breath hitched and he anxiously looked around. He grabbed my hand, a smile beaming across him as he shakily said.

"Come with me."

He rushed through the crowd, dragging me close behind him as I gripped his cape and hand, grin wide on my face whilst my legs trembled. He broke through the people and out into the hallway. I didn't know the direction we went, or the time it took until he burst into the nearest room, tugging me inside first. He kicked the door closed with his foot and without hesitance wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up. 

He spun us, his grin buried against my collarbone as he let out the giddiest laugh I'd ever heard. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled deep as my heart raced out of my chest. He let out an anxious sound before slowly setting me back down, his fingers laced at my back to keep me trapped in his arms as he gazed at me. His lashes were thick over his eyes as his smile softened, bit by bit, till it was a feather against his lips.

"I love you." he said breathlessly. My hand slipped under his jaw, and he leaned down. "I love you." he uttered, holding me tighter. "Gods, I..." He closed his eyes. His lips fell faintly against my forehead, tickling, brushing but not quite kissing. 

"I love you." I whispered. A hot, shuddering breath ran past his lips, and he pressed a long kiss to my forehead. He trailed his lips to my cheeks and my chin, straining and crouching ever so slightly to meet so low. He rested his forehead against mine. I reared onto my tiptoes, and pecked his nose. He let out a breathy laugh, eyes twinkling.

His fingers gently stroked the small of my back, as he nibbled at the corner of his lip. I put my arms around his neck, and he smiled faintly. 

I swayed my hips, and he joined in, gently taking one of my hands after removing our masks and discarding them. I let out a soft hum of what I remembered from the last song we heard, and he lazily waltzed us side to side. Before I knew it, he joined in, his deep rumble of a voice filling out what was missing of my background, muttering soft lyrics I'd never known.

There was a twirl and a maneuver that had my back against his chest, whilst his stable arms wrapped around me. He entwined his fingers with mine, and sat his chin atop my head, chest rumbling against my shoulders as he pulled me close. Together we swayed, lost in a tender moment while the orchestra faintly wafted across the castle, bathing us in music we didn't bother to listen to as we made our own.

There was a spin, and a half hearted dip, before I was oh so gently pressed against the wall in his final act as we ran out of room. The dance we had danced was the same as the one we'd done weeks ago, and even further out in our first time in practice, and it never seemed to grow old in its underlying passion. All that changed was the feeling behind it... No longer was it condemnation, or that hint of romance, it was something else on this third try, where the steps were almost fully forgotten, and the song was just as faint; it something so much more than I could ever fathom the two of us would share, even when I had sat dreaming of it. 

It was the tender kiss he had given my cheek when he leaned me against the wall. It was the gentle stroke of his arm as he pulled away, or the flush of his cheeks when I gave him just a smidgen of praise over his dancing skills.

There was a moment of silence... and a flit of electric tension between us that grew as the wall slowly warmed against my back. My hands slipped up, and sat at the sides of his neck. I brushed a patch of stubble at his chin he must have missed, and a tiny smile fluttered over his lips as I gently tapped at his bottom lip. He caught my finger, and pressed a small kiss to the pad. With heavy eyes, he pressed his lips to my palm, and slipped his hand to my back. His fingers gently caressed a sore wound that spilled over the dress. 

My jaw trembled at the tenderness he showed me, and my eyes began to burn as it finally hit me.

He loved me.

It wasn't like a rush of excitement, it wasn't a boom of emotion... it was a wave of calm. It was soft and warm like a fire, and it made it so much more enticing to forever give into its warmth. It was that tender.... engulfing-like feeling that made me dousey against it's comfort, but it was it's hint of ecstacy had my eyes closed.

"I love you." I uttered as he grew closer to me. He let out a puff and turned away his face, as though it were too hard to believe. With a soft, lopsided smile, he looked back to me, a long curl bouncing just at his cheek. He'd never looked more attractive than with that eased expression... I cupped his jaw, lips parting as a heat settled between my thighs.

His face inched closer to mine. His sticky exhale rolled over my lips, and I rose up onto my toes. "May I kiss you?" He asked.

"You don't need to ask me anymore, my prince..." I teased, smirking ever so slightly.

"I always will." he uttered, before pressing smiling lips against mine. I let out a puff of air and wrapped my arms around his neck as our grins slowly faded. His lips, after a moment, shifted, and melded against mine, that chapped feeling present as always, whilst his nose nuzzled against my cheek.

His hands gently caressed my hair as he leaned, further pressing me against the wall. I moved my lips against his, and he joined, the two of us setting a slow rhythm that stoked a fire in my stomach that after a time, turned blazing.

With a shallow breath of fresh air, he pulled away, only to return with more fever, delivering one of the most fiery and loving kisses of my lifetime. He leaned over me, struggling to reach so low as I fell from my tip toes, legs trembling. I grasped the cords of his uniform as my only lifeline.

"Corrin." He uttered, drawing out every syllable as if to savor it as passion burned behind his eyes. He pressed himself against me, crashing his lips against mine in a hot glory like he'd never done before. I was left helpless with every push and pull of his lips that still tasted so brashly of wine. The scent of his spice enveloped me, and I was left arching and entangling myself against him as desire took control of me; I ached to taste and feel more; I needed to feel more.

He let out a groan and drew a wet tongue across my lips. I followed his actions, wetting that dizzying hunger as he pushed past my parted lips. With every slick brush and run of his tongue against mine, I pressed harder against his chiseled chest, panting through his actions as he tilted my head back; the tingle of his fingers laced in my hair bringing my breaths shuddering free against him.

I raked my nails across his neck, and he softly groaned, breaking away to grab another breath just to roll in for another attack, before pulling away as though I were a fire. My lashes were heavy over my eyes I stared, absolutely dying from the heat at my face and body. As I wanted him... wanted him so much more than I ever had before, and with his soft touches and strokes of my arms, I egged myself on to bring him in for another kiss.

Through his panting he brought his head down, craning, to kiss at my jaw, lips trembling as he fought alongside his passion. He trailed downwards, placing a fatal kiss to my jugular, before settling at the base of my neck. He placed short, warning like kisses, and I leaned into his touch, desperate for more. 

He breathed against me, and swiped across the area with his tongue, before gently bringing in the tender skin with his teeth. I let out a hummed moan as he sucked and lapped, his intoxicating scent sending me on a downward spiral as I was left with only him and the wall as support. I was left breathless as his experience burned and bristled against my skin while he gently bit down, using just enough pressure to force pleasure in my veins.

"Xander." I whispered as he shifted to another spot, just behind my ear. He pecked and nibbled against it, forcing quick, shallow breaths from me as he easily caught onto one of my most sensitive areas. He shifted upwards, and kissed the shell of a pointed ear before grazing me with his teeth. I gasped, squirmed as he continued on, brushing me with tongue and teeth till I was a melted mess in his arms as he supported my back and pressed me against him.

He pulled away, and like a waxy seal to the break of passion, he kissed me, slow and gentle like we had began. A warm, large hand came to cup my cheek and nape, brushing across my skin delicately as we returned to that slow rhythm. It lasted only a moment before he pulled away, his rugged breath pointed as I struggled to catch my own. He supported my entire weight as we stood there, wordless. The scent of him overwhelmed me, that warm, sparking scent easily enveloping me along with the body heat that oozed past his uniform. His addictive touches tingled across my skin as he nuzzled his cheek against mine. I let out a long exhale when I felt him trace warm circles against the cold skin of my exposed leg.

"Xander..." I whispered, leaning my head against the wall as he pecked at my jaw. He hummed huskily, a sound that rumbled against my chest and warmed my thighs. "I want you. I want to go further." 

His lips stilled, and his fingers grew light against me. I felt his eyelashes brush against my skin as he pulled back and up to meet my gaze. He searched my eyes as though his own answer laid there, before dropping his head.

"I..." He let out a strain sigh. I bit at my lip as regret flitted across my mind.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." I said. He shook his head and met my eyes again.

"Not at all. Some hardly even give a warning." He looked down. "I'm ready, I want this, I just... I'm not quite sure how to ask that-... if this-" He took in a deep breath, "Well... would this be your first time?" We locked eyes, but I shied away. A biting ache I'd nearly forgotten reminded me of my answer.

"Unfortunately, no." I sighed.

"Unfor-" He frowned. "Did he hurt you, Corrin?" He said on instant, the seriousness tight his face. I quickly shook my head. 

"No, although it was quite painful, it was consented to. It's just something I regret now is all."

"I promise you I'd never hurt you, my little princess." 

"I know that." I pressed a quick kiss to the small patch of stubble at his chin. "I know." I pulled away, a certain kind of timidness began to flush through me. I scraped my lip with my teeth, nervousness and excitement rushing through my veins as his fingers rapt up my waist. "So... you're ready?" I asked.

"Only if you are." His lips traced up the side up my neck. Their cracked, rough feeling sent shivers down my spine. Such an odd texture... but it was his signature... His sign of aproval

His fingers, oh so carefully inching towards my ribs, brought me back to reality; that slow, steaming, burning reality that for once, was more enticing than anything I'd ever dreamt of.

"I'm ready," I whispered. His lashes lowered.

"Then, if I may be so bold as to ask," His fingers traced the seam of cloth at my hip. "would you allow me to help you out of your dress?" his voice oozed a practiced seduction that had me dumbfounded and utterly in love as I nodded.

He lowered to his knees, seemingly glowing eyes locked on mine, with his hands following at a slow pace behind him. They ran down my waist, and over my hips before shifting to lead up my more exposed leg. I pressed my palms against the wall as his heated breath traced my calve. With a nip at my ankle, he slipped off my shoe and lazily tossed it behind himself- one hand already pushing aside my dress to find my other leg. He sat down my foot, and shifted to the other, easily slipping off the second shoe and discarding it with the other with lips caressing my dress covered thigh. The warmth of his lips honeyed through the cloth to heat my leg and met my eyes once again.

His nails raked up my thighs, trailing an irreversible heat to stoke my arousal.

His fingers slipped under my dress at the top of the opening slit and gently gripped my bare hips. His eyes met mine, and I gave him a silent confirmation. He shifted up the fabrics to expose just the base of my stomach. A draft nipped at my skin. I curled my fingers, my nails scratching against the wall as he slid the cloth upwards, revealing the corset squeezing me tighter with every labored breath. 

I raised up my arms as he brought the gown over my head. My circlet snagged on the neckline and entangled inside the bunch of fabrics as they were lifted inch by inch over me till it was sat carefully to our side. With only a small look to my eyes and my cleavage, he began to untie the strings at a languid pace. Every movement as slow and devout as though he were worshiping.

With every knot he undid he grew even softer with his touches, even gentler, till when the final string had been loosened, and I was freely breathing, his fingers were as delicate and light as a feather, as if touching me would make me impure.

"May I take it off?" he asked, still holding the thick material as to keep my breasts mostly covered. 

"Yes," I whispered. I hid my trembling hands behind my back as nervousness overtook me. Suddenly, the scars that laid new on my back and chest seemed so large and foreboding, and were not a man before me tattered in wounds himself, I would've wondered if they made me any less beautiful, if he'd shy away at their sight now, when he had never done before...

He pulled away the corset, leaving me barren, cold, and... gods.... wonderfully cared for as his hands roamed up my hips and waist. Their rough texture brought shudders across my skin as he leaned towards me and slipped back to his knees. I rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes, prepared for a wonton brush or touch against me, but I went stiff in surprise as his lips pressed against the tip of a scar newly healed between my breasts. I blinked open my eyes, and looked down to watch as he trailed soft kisses across the wound. 

He splayed his fingers against my back as he moved, tenderly running his lips across my skin till I was nearly panting against his slow, tender actions. He swallowed thick against my flesh, and looked up to me, fingers teasing small circles against the clear portions of my back before shifting to set at my sides.

A nervous huff escaped his lips as his eyes roamed over me. My hands slipped over his, and he nipped the underside of my breast. Nails pressing against the back of his hand, I pushed myself against him, desperate for contact as he edged closer and closer. 

"Tell me to stop and I will." he whispered, his swallow echoing through the room. He inhaled long and lust filled as his voice lowered to just a breaths sound. "Tell me, and I'm yours."

"Xander." Need lined my voice. Every desire, every fantasy, every amount of heat lined my voice, "I want you." I uttered, the burning arousal too much for me to bare any longer. A low, groan rumbled through his lips and lust flushed his face.

He pulled me against his hard muscles, the restraint he had capped on himself before thrown away like my clothes as he brought my nipple into his mouth.

He lapped at the skin with such fervor that the most savory of moans slipped past my lips. His tongue circled around, teasing before sucking relentlessly, puffs of shallow air escaping through his nose as he openly enjoyed my quiet moans of approval.

I brought up my leg to rub the unbearable heat between my thighs, only to come into direct contact with Xander's erection. He broke away and dropped his head, a low, surprised moan running past his lips. My breath hitched at the sound. 

I licked at my lips as a thirst urged tingles down my spine.

"Corrin," he whimpered strenuously, when I kept contact. I added the tiniest amount of pressure against him. He inhaled sharply, and his fingers dug into my back. 

I slid down, joining him on my knees to look him directly in the eyes. He flushed at my boldness and looked to his side. His hands left my back, and sat beside him, running lines against the floor. I ran a hand up his thigh. I slowed as I neared his growing erection, knowing full well I had no idea what to do if gave me the chance to touch him. I took a glance at it when a rough sigh hit my neck. The thick, lengthy bulge pressed hard against the confines of the fabric, urging me to move that last inch closer...

"Xander," I teased small circles against him. He rolled in his lips, and pressed his knuckles to his mouth. He looked away, face reddening, chest heaving. "Xander... Can I t-..." I gulped. Gods. I huffed and leaned closer to him. "-Can I touch you?"

He gave me a nod, his words stuck far in his throat.  His free hand grasped his cravat and gave it a small tug. I felt his leg tremble at my touch. Sucking in a deep breath, and shooting a small prayer to whatever god was listening, I pressed my hand against his growing erection. He let out a groan. 

I palmed at him through his pants, feeling him grow harder and fidgety under my touch. He shifted and nearly squirmed as I rubbed into him. He let out a short hiss.

"Please-" He grunted and met my eye, "be gentle, Little Princess." he whimpered. I hastily nodded and let my touch grow faint. A low "oh" shuddered past him. He bit down on his finger and popped a knuckle with his free hand. His hips twitched against my hand. "Could I possibly undress a little." he asked between breaths. With my free hand, I un-clipped his cape, and he hastily reached at his shirt, fumbling and struggling with the various cords and buttons before shucking what was the first part of his top. The loose undershirt and cravat with it stayed on him for only a moment before he pulled it off of him, revealing his broad, toned chest puffing outwards with every motion of my hand against his concealed cock.

I wrapped my fingers around what I could of him through his wonderfully tight pants and ran my hand up his abdomen. He let out a growl like groan in response to the gentle squeeze I gave him. My hand roamed the tight muscles of his chest, and I relished in their firm feeling under my prods and caresses. 

I mimicked his earlier actions and kissed at his neck, easing more breathy growls and groans that still had me aching for more. 

I trailed my tongue down to the base of his neck and sucked hard against him, not quite sure what I was doing, but still cheered on by his hand cupping my breast and pinching just around my nipple. I broke away with a moan as he kneaded my skin. 

Our eyes met, and every silent word behind his gaze urged for more contact. I gave the belts at his hips a tug, and it was all the incentive he needed to stand and strip. He kicked off his boots and threw his circlet where it clattered against my own. I gripped my pendant, still reliable at my breast whilst he removed his belts. I didn't dare remove it, not with how wild my emotions were. 

The throb between my thighs, the relentless ache egging me on to slip a hand down and not give a single damn was all too strong for me to have to fight a dragon as well.

I swallowed down the spit thick over my tongue as he tugged down his pants. There was a moment of resistance before his cock came free of his pants and smallclothes. He let out a rasp the second he was free. The muscles in his legs visibly relaxed without the pants choking him, and he took the smallest of moment to be still, to close his eyes and relish for a single second before he stepped out of what clothes remained at his ankles, and chucked them into the communal pile, sweeping the belts at his feet and gloves on his hands towards it as well.

He raked his hand through his hair and met my gaze. His cheeks were reddened with arousal whilst his lashes were laid heavy over his eyes. Shyness and doubt almost immediately overtook me, and I looked away. There was no way I could ever... pleasure him. With all his experience- compared to every woman he must have been involved with in someway, there was no way I could ever satisfy him...

In the corner of my eye I watched him come back down to the floor. 

"Have I made you uncomfortable?" he asked softly. 

"No." I picked at the hard edges of the dragonstone.

"We can stop, Corrin. I'm not ill, or in pain. I can get over myself and go on about my night if that's what you want." I scrunched up my nose. That was definitely not what I wanted. "Don't ever think just because I'm aroused it's some death sentence you have to fulfill. I-"

"I don't know what I'm doing!" I blurted out. I couldn't stand to hear him go on. The images, though he made no mention of any solo acts, were a plague to be reckoned with in my filthy mind.

"I know," he admitted with a certain kind of sweet gentleness. I furrowed my brow.

"You do?" His teeth snapped together and he looked down. He scratched at his wrist.

"Ah... Well, sex in Hoshido is quite dull," His eyes shifted, "from what I've read at least," he muttered under his breath. "Especially when compared to what most other places take part in. This... for example." His adam's apple bobbed as our eyes locked. I broke the contact as he went on. "I assumed it would be new to you." 

"What else is there besides..." I threw out a palm, "the whole... i-insertion and... what I'm about to try and do." He let out a shocked chortle, and I gave him a pointed, red-faced glare. Was I that innocent?

"Forgive me." He bowed of his head, though an amused smile trapped at his lips, "There are, though, a lot more than those two things when it comes to the bedroom,  _Little Princess."_ His eyes fervently scoured my body and the feeling of his gaze alone nearly had a breath leave my lips.

I felt my nail crack under the force of my grip on my necklace. I dropped my gaze to his waist and licked at my lips. "I...I didn't know." I stammered. I exhaled through my nose and pushed my legs closer together. I looked back up to him with the most seductive glance I could muster. "Could you show me?"

He blinked, taken-aback for only a moment before shifting forward, careful, reluctant almost. Our knees nudged together, and I placed a single finger across the invisible line separating us, rubbing the muscles of his thigh delicately. 

"What do you need me to help with...?" His lips drew dangerously close to mine. I slipped my teasing hand under his and leaned into his ear, completely avoiding him as he leaned in for a kiss.

"This." I pushed his hand up his thigh and let go only to grasp his hot member as confidently as I could muster. A quick moan fluttered past his lips. "Guide me." I whispered. He groaned. His large, shaking hand wrapped around mine, and I gave him a gentle squeeze. He hummed in pleasure and nuzzled his cheek against mine. He tightened his grip, and shifted my hand up his shaft. He huffed against my neck and rested his shoulder against mine as he gave into the team effort of pleasure.

Curiously, I brought down my hand firmly, noting how when free of his pants he enjoyed the pressure. A heavy moan rushed from his throat. He hastily pressed his gaping mouth to my shoulder, muffling the few low, and indecent sounds that pushed past his lip as I pumped his cock, no longer needing the guidance of him. Every push of my hand sent a jolt of heat and desire through me.

 I grew numb to my unsurety rather quickly. 

It wasn't long before his hands had fallen to his sides, and he was shuddering against my fingers with his head tilted back far enough for me to see just the effect my touches had on him.

Some part of me couldn't believe this was happening, that I was doing this. Gods, but what parts of me did and ached and urged me to go even faster. With some amalgamation of confidence and general desire, I gave in, and stroked him hard and fast. His head shifted to the side as his mouth opened with his labored breaths. He bit against his moans as his hips twitched and ticked upwards.

My name was savoury on his lips, and I lost almost all restraint. I licked at my lips and shifted forward to straddle his thighs. I pressed my breasts against his chest and kissed the corners of his lips. I arched against him and felt the tip of his cock brush against my stomach from our closeness. 

Every inch of me demanded to be touched, and the utter need of it all, egged on by his hushed hums of bliss, did nothing but torture me as I held back from grinding on him. I bit down on my lip hard. My teeth were just a bit sharper than usual.

" _Little Princess,_ " he whispered desperately. I hummed and pressed quick kisses against his chin, "I need you to stop. I'm too close..." he whimpered. The moment he even uttered the word stop, I pulled my hand away like he were flaming. 

"I'm sorry." I squeezed my finger and moved to slip off his lap.

"W-wait." he whimpered, but hastily shook the lust from his mouth, "Unless you're uncomfortable."

"I'm not, are you?" I asked before reluctantly sitting back onto him after he chortled. 

"A little hot and bothered, but not uncomfortable..." My eyes fell to his groin. His erection stood harder than ever. I wet my lips and gulped, the sound resounding across the room. With a lowered head I met his gaze.

"Ditto." I whispered. I ran my hands up the sides of his legs and hips, him mirroring my actions almost exactly the moment I touched his waist. He toyed with me, proven by the faint touch across my breast as he cupped my face. He ran his thumb over my bottom lip, drawing it outwards, before parting my lips completely. I wanted to open my mouth for him... give into every fantasy that once seemed so... dirty when with him they seemed so plausible. So normal. My fingers curled against his hips.

"Really...? I had no idea." he teased.  A devilish expression safely plastered his face when a helpless breath escaped my lips. He tilted up my chin and I was drawn ever closer to him. My eyelids fell over my eye as he inched towards my lips." _May I touch you?"_

"Please." I whimpered. His hand slithered down my body, sending burning trails anticipation that made me tremble. Those large, skilled hands slipped under my smallclothes. 

His eyes were intense and focused; pleasure settling in them just from watching me whimper and beg for him to move that final inch to my aching sex.

"I love you, my little princess." His fingers slipped between my folds and pressed against my clit. I gasped, went rigid and stiff at the jolt of pleasure that absolutely electrified me. I tangled my hands into his hair and let my eyes flutter shut.

 _"Xander."_ I moaned. I ground my hips against his fingers. He exhaled and shushed me when I let out an even louder cry.

"Someone could hear." he warned, though the slightest bit of dark satisfaction played his tone.

"They're all dancing and drunk." I whispered. He circled the sensitive skin just next to my clit and I moaned, disregarding his worries if it meant I could fall even further into the pure, mind numbing pleasure of finally being touched.

"The maids; the butlers. They will talk about our indecency in becoming so intimate  **on the floor**." But he rubbed faster, almost urging me to grow louder as his free hand moving up to kneed my breast. I let out a throaty whimper.

"Let them know we're official." I said through pants and groans. I whined, high and without fear and rocked my hips for more friction as something in me began to tighten and build. Hum like whimpers escaped my lips, before they turned to moans, growing louder and louder and-

He pressed his mouth against mine, catching me before I let out my loudest cry yet. I whimpered against his mouth, as he kissed me. I pumped my hips upwards, horribly close to that breaking point as he leaned my back against the wall. I needed one more touch, one more brush of my breast, one more slick circle to push me over the edge, but he stopped and kept me from even grinding against in his lap to find release.

"Xander!" I cried past his lips, toes curling and squirming as he kept me from any friction. Ruefully, I bit his lip. Nothing more than a gentle tease, but it did signal for him to free me. 

It was already too late. He chuckled against me.

"Forgive me..." he muttered past his kisses. "But you'll thank me in the long run, Little Princess."

"Will I?" I asked through my pants and heavy calm down period as he peppered kisses at my temples.

"Yes. This way if we go on, I won't hurt you..."

"I'll be fine if it hurts." I'd already gone through quite a painful first. Though Xander was... miles larger... surely, I could handle-

"No. You aren't supposed to be in any sort of pain during intercourse. If it hurts, there's something wrong, and we need to stop."

"Oh... I... I didn't know." He sighed and kissed my cheek.

"You do now and that's all that matters. Gods... I can't imagine how your first time had gone."

I refused to think about my first time when my second time was in the making. Although, I did vaguely remember the blood that persisted days after... I flushed it from my mind.

"Well, I guess I don't have to worry about pain now that I have you..."

"No, you won't." he agreed and sat a kiss at the top of my lip as his hand slipped up to my breast. Just like that, he gently pinched a hardened bud and effectively had me wrapped around his fingers as I arched for more of his touch. He kneaded my breast and pressed his lips to my ear.

"I'm going to put my fingers inside you... Would you be okay with that." he whispered. I nodded hastily. I'd never been through any of this, every stroke and lick was new, and gods I was in love with it. He let out an even exhale and kissed the shell of my ear. "Will you take off your last bit of clothing?" he asked like a model gentleman.

Eagerness unbound, I would've ripped them off if I had the strength.

I bet he could.

The thought urged me on, and I slipped free and tossed them to the side. I sat back down onto his lap, and was shocked at the slickness of myself that rubbed against him. Was it something to be embarrassed about? No... it was a good thing... a very good thing judging by the quiet moan that escaped Xander's lips.

He trailed his fingers down my ribs and stomach and into my folds where he brushed against my clit momentarily. He silence my moans with his tongue, and I was left silently writhing as he leaned me back against the wall and caressed my entrance. His hands were situated in just a way to allow his thumb to rub the top of my clit, but he refrained at his initial entry. 

The thick digit forced out a moan that was muffled by his wet tongue. It shifted inside of me, brushing gently against me until I let out another cry, arching my back as pleasure jolted past me. The spot he touched sent so much agonising ecstasy up my spine I feared I'd never be the same. It was addicting and powerful, the feeling of his finger pressing into me, rubbing back and forth an area much too sensitive to actually exist.

He broke free for a breath of air and I used my chance to moan as loud as I could before he cut me off. 

"Stop that..." he warned through a  _wonderfully_ nervous chuckle. I smiled weakly against his lips. Pleasantly surprised by his warm face and almost frustrated tone. He'd every right to be anxious... What would they think if they heard us...?

As though it were some backwards punishment, he began rubbing my clit and breast, deepening the kiss as much as he could till I couldn't tell exactly where I was. I was left a whimpering, crying mess as the pleasure overrode my brain. All thought, all feeling besides the ecstacy disappeared, and I hardly noticed when Xander scooted and shifted us so I was laid on the ground, I only noticed the short loss of his fingers. 

"I'm going to add another unless you want me to stop." he warned, breathless against my mouth. I nodded against his chin and gripped him tight whilst he pinched me, pressed against me. He moaned before pushing a second finger inside of me. I gasped and tensed my calves at the stretching sensation, but the moment I adjusted, he gave me another warning, another question that I hastily agreed to and slipped a third and eventually a fourth, leaving me thrusting desperately against him if it meant he'd bring me over the edge even more daunting than the last.

This time when he removed himself, he held my wrists as to keep me from touching myself. Easily he held me with one hand, watching as I bucked my hips into nothing whilst he licked at his fingers, but if I wished, I knew he would free me. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that no matter the game he played I knew he would easily let me take control, or simply walk away. Even more so, even whilst I laid naked on the floor of some foreign room, vulnerable to all but him, I was protected. He arched his body over mine, shielding me fully, yet only his hands and knees touched me.

He pressed a soft kiss to my lips and pulled away. Tenderness crossed his eyes as a hand slipped to my cheek to rub a gentle circle against it as my eyes watered from the utter need I had for him. I throbbed for him; trembled for his touch... his feeling.... him.

"May I go inside of you?"

"Yes." I whimpered. "Yes." I begged. He sat a gentle, soft kiss at my forehead. He sat one of my legs on his shoulder, and a chilled draft ran across my skin. With the hand not holding my cheek, he guided his cock to me and settled it just at my entrance. He leaned forward and kissed me, slow and gentle. My heart swelled, and raced faster than it had the entire night when faced with that loving, passionate gaze. 

It was in that second I realised it... everything had become different. Every single thing between us- that dynamic that had been stretched and tested so many times already, had hardened, and finally seemed to become stable. I let out a puff of air as I stared deep into those calm, welcome eyes. 

His diamond shield had finally shattered. 

I took his hand and entwined our fingers. His lashes lowered beautifully over his eyes and he held his lips a hair's breadth away from mine. 

He brushed his lips against mine, and slowly pushed himself inside of me. I writhed as discomfort pricked at the initial resistance that was his first, slow, easy push. He stopped momentarily, knowing just the cues that told him I was on the edge of being in pain. Through every still beat, there was a kiss against my strained lips, and sweet encouragements. Through every stop that made him throb inside of me, he would caress and love some part of me as though he weren't in utter agony. Through everything he was there.

It took time to ease himself all the way into me, to allow me to adjust to the sheer size of him, but when we had finished the hardest push, and gone through just a few tests, it was unlike anything I'd ever experienced.

He started slow, moving in and at a languid pace that had my head lulling side to side. Low, breathy moans escaped from my lips with every gentle, filling thrust. Spice enveloped me. A quiet, wet sound followed his every movement. A deep groan licked a his lips.

"Faster?" he whispered, squeezing my hand. I nodded, words being simply too much as he pumped heat into me. He thrusted in me just a bit harder, his pace quickening enough to keep the quiet between my moans nothing more than an intake of breath before I'd begin again.

I shuddered around him, slowly building to that climax I wished would never arrive. His lips melded together with mine and he swallowed my moans as they grew louder in his futile attempt to silence his own, growing in frequency. His cries drowned into me whilst he lowered himself, his chest laid just on mine with his weight supported by a bulky forearm.

Sweat began to form at my hairline as he pumped his cock even faster. Pleasure, no longer a jolt, but a never ending hum, left me squirming and arching against him. Gasping, I bucked back, urging him to speed up and bring me closer to the edge that still seemed so far away the moment his cock hit a wall of mind numbing pleasure.

He stopped for just a moment, then placed his hand over my clit, he adjusted himself and thrusted hard against that sensitive, deadly spot in time with the stroke of his fingers. I cried out and sobbed in ecstasy. Instantly my peak seemed easier to obtain, and rushed towards me as he grew faster and faster. 

His moans shuddered and resounded through the room as he verbally no longer gave a damn. My fingers raked against the back of his neck as I began to strain and tighten. He moaned my name and I relentlessly pushed back against him. His tongue circled mine as I found the edge and wobbled there. The pleasure tightening and knotting, finally reached it's peak, and I wasn't left stumbling, or even falling off the edge- no, I was plummeting over it.

I cried out, and felt every inch of me tighten around a whimpering, sweaty Xander. I tensed with every wave of pleasure whilst he slowed, hips shuddering as I felt him restrain himself. After coaxing me through my climax, he pulled out. Gasping for breath and grasping his cock he rested his forehead against the floor, and arched his back as he pumped himself, hard and fast. Though I was panting, and shuddering from my orgasm, I reached down and grasped the base of his shaft. He thrusted against my hand. A needy whimper spilled past his lips and every muscle in his body strained. He let out a choked, sob like cry, and I watched the cum that spilled free from his tip and coated his chest.

His moans slipped into sounding nothing more than a faint whine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed his slick chest to mine as I  _needed_  to feel him closer whilst he recovered.

We laid there panting and grossly unaware of the mess between us, as we just held each other, though it was more of a one sided, full body cling as I struggled to catch my breath and calm. My legs wrapped around him firmly, and I gripped my wrist from around his neck so tightly that if he were to stand, just at that moment, I'd be lifted up with him.

How is it that, not weeks ago, I was stealing kisses and not months ago I was despising him but now... Well- gods, now I was covered by him as though he were some shield as we panted past what we'd just done- on the floor no less. My face began to warm, and I looked up to the ceiling. I could still feel his cock, pressed just at my thigh.

The memory of my moans, mingling with his own rung in my ears. The aftermath of the pleasure rubbed against my breasts in a slick, unusual way. My partner's chest heaved and slowly allowed his weight to squish me. 

I should be uncomfortable... shouldn't I? Ashamed? 

After the last time I was so damn... uncomfortable... I didn't want Kaze on me. I didn't want him near me when it was done. No matter his aftercare, I justed wanted time to heal, but here... now, I can't imagine Xander leaving. I couldn't fathom not having his broad chest pressed so firmly against mine, or his hands not rubbing up and down my shoulders and waist, as though easing me through the remnants of pleasure, would ease him as well. The world just wouldn't be right if his protective, shield of a body didn't surround me completely 

I wasn't uncomfortable. I didn't feel scared, I didn't even feel the draft that raised goosebumps on his skin. I could only feel him as something new washed over the both of us. It was bliss. It was safe it was-... It was everything I'd ever longed for in back Hoshido. 

I let out a awestruck huff of a laugh.

I'd spent nights, dreaming, praying to the gods the husband I'd find would be a wonderful one... After days of turning away suitors, sauver than Kaze, gruffer and more stoic than Garon, more loving than my mother, I'd sit up in that room and dream away. Hoping something good would happen.

Then there was Kaze, and the soft touches in hallways, or the secret kisses hidden from my family's watchful eyes. It was that secret, first love, no matter how childish and stupid. It was that sunset, summer's breeze of a love...

Then there was Leon, and his letters- his love letters:  _My dearest, Corrin_  the voice I never knew would say so confidently, though it was never requited. The only chance I ever gave him was through his lessons in chess, before I'd crumple and rip the scratched symbols. It wasn't love... but it was something. It was that burning, choking kind of feeling that stays with me now not out of hate for him, but out of regret.

_Why didn't I mourn._

_Why didn't I sob._

_Why?_

But then there was... Xander. Many would say it some sort of curse; some smiting joke the gods thought to gift upon a bratty, spoiled child to finally get her in line. Since what a worse punishment for a child who had dreamt night after night for a feeling of security after her father was taken, and her mother was ill, than a man who couldn't love her? What a worse punishment than some man who, under all his armor and numb eyes, was broken- shattered into a million, tiny little pieces that had been smashed, and ground over and over and over and over again. One more crack, and he would be gone forever.

Maybe those first few days, when I gathered flower petals and watched the moonlight hide just half of his pale, grim face; maybe when I was scared and stabbed and my only solace was a prince I didn't know, was it some sort of "punishment," but at the moment his lips were wet by a sip of wine, did those fickle beings realise they'd made a mistake in my pairing, my "punishment," some would no doubt say. Because, here was a girl, readied with a basket and raw hands to gather up his pieces with pride and be sure not another could harm him anymore.

That third gift was an odd one... It was that crushing, fluttering feeling; the smell of a warm cologne, the sip of a strong wine. It was every stutter and anxiety... every scream and whisper, gods- it was everything all at once.

Frustration pooled in my stomach.

"Corrin." he uttered. I nuzzled my cheek against his. I felt him smirk against my neck and slip his arms under my back. I let out a shocked laugh as he rolled to lay on his back. He reached down and threw his cape over us. The oversized thing easily censored me. 

An annoyed huff left my lips. 

It was horrible knowing that his people and his peers would never grow to learn that though broken, this man was the very essence of care. He wasn't a punishment bestowed to anyone...

All my life I dreamt of feeling cared for and stable and here I was, feeling exactly that with a man I'd been taught could never do such tender things; a Nohrian. Ha! How Ryoma would squirm at the idea!

_"Nohrians are filthy, Corrin, soulless. If they can murder childhoods and steal fathers, they've no heart to speak of."_

Xander's chest thudded loudly against my ear, and he gently stroked my hair. I felt my heart slow and flutter with a light, airy feeling guiding it to float free from me completely. A satisfied sigh left my lips. He needed so much more appreciation... so much more love, of every single bit of him.

I drew tiny circles against the scars that covered him like freckles. His skin was a diverse melting pot of wounds, and each one had a story brandished beneath them. 

I padded a long, raised line that trickled down his side and another on the crest of his hip that trailed oddly towards his groin. Xander cleared his throat, and I hastily slipped my hand back to his waist. Where, to my fascination, his skin turned rough. I rubbed up and down with a momentary daze as I tried to comprehend how he'd been injured so intently, everywhere. On every patch of skin it seemed.

I hummed while feeling my way back up his ribs and to his arms where I searched for even more knicks. He pulled one of his arms off my back and laid it onto the ground, giving me more to find. I felt the burn wounds and the gentle lines across his wrist that I caressed softly. I trailed back to the burned skin, rough and wrinkly, but I enjoyed the feeling. I never had the chance to really... feel him before.

It was a small habit I picked up on after my mother. She wasn't exactly as bad as I was about it, but I could easily find her touching Orochi's arm as she spoke, tapping at Sakura's nose, or even reaching to pat Takumi's hair. What I can remember of her and father before he was taken, was that, if she was near him, she would no doubt have taken his arm or caressed at his hand if he was close enough. Of course, she always kept it mostly in private with only her retainers or us present to see. I, on the other hand,  would be quite touchy no matter where, even on the rare occasion I left to the town below the palace, but only to those I was close to.

Being able to fall back into old habits was refreshing...

I must have twinkled as I tapped up his arm and found his shoulder, soft save for a few papercut like lines. I leaned up onto my elbows and slipped forward to gaze at his face. I rested my chin on a hand as I looked for any more scars, to find only faded bruises and a small line at his temple, something almost always hidden by his hair. I brushed against it, before trailing a finger down the bridge of his nose. His lips curled into a smile, and I caressed their scratchy surface.

I poked at small scratches down his neck before tapping a wide mark at the dip of his collarbone.

"I like your scars." I muttered. 

"Mmm... You would be the first." He said. He closed his eyes, and sighed, gentle and relaxed. A roar of muffled cheers echoed down the hall as a skippy, lilted tune ended with a quick pop of a note. The world still went on whilst we lay here... calm and separated from their party. The damn king had his women and kingsmen, he had his flowing wine and some of his battered children, surely he would be fine to give one a moment of peace to a man and a girl a time of high ecstasy without the use of riches and alcohol.

Though the urge of the drink was strong tonight as it was everyday, I would do good to take a night away from it... I should save it's warmth for when I'm to march as a dragon across unfamiliar, cold lands. After all, it is named the Ice Tribe. I doubt Hoshido's sunlight will grace me there.

"Corrin?" Xander asked, snapping me from my daze. 

"Huh?"

"You- well...you stopped, and I-" He let out a quick breath and deflated before me. "Nevermind." I trailed my fingertips down to his wrist and back up his forearm, and like a switch he was back, eyes closed, breath slowed. 

The days of tension and worry that had plagued him eased into nothing more than a strained memory. Yet, a single line still pulled taught at his brow. It hardened and slowly the rest of his face melted into a faint frown, and I stilled.

"Xander?" I sat my fingers at the crook of his elbow. A slow, lengthy breath strung past his lips, before he curled upwards and slipped me into the space between his crossed legs. He searched my face and dropped his head.

"Thank you." He uttered, running his hands down my arm. "Truly." I cocked an eyebrow.

"If you wanted me to, I could've touched your scars before. They don't scare me. I actually quite like it." His ears reddened and he release a shocked chortle.

"Well, I'm glad, but it isn't exactly what I mean, Little Princess." Somehow the nickname sounded fonder and felt so much better. He smiled bashfully and stroked a piece of my hair, now strung with fluff and dust from the floors. "Though it plays a part." 

"I'm still... not sure what I've done." I said, shaking my head in utter confusion. He let out a small sigh and pecked my temple. I felt his body warm under me.

"It doesn't matter, just know I'm thankful for... you." I smiled, though still mostly confused at why I deserved a thanking after everything, but took it nonetheless and, added on top of it, a small show of affection by pecking at the stubble of his chin.

"Corrin..." My name was like honey on his lips, and I stole another taste for myself. Selfish as always it seemed...

"Yes?" I cooed, channeling the last of my lingering euphoria before everything was thrown to the seas.

A loud boom of a song resounded through walls, and we jumped, knocking heads in the process. I reared back and held my forehead with a hiss as he cupped his jaw. He sat a hand at my nape.

"Are you alright? I-"

 _"They went down this way about an hour ago, they could've easily left entirely."_ Came a muffled voice inches from the door. I dug my nails into his arms as he tensed around me.

"Gods-" he groaned.

"Xander!?" I hissed in horror. By the gods.

 _"Here, open that door. They couldn't've gone too far."_    **By the gods.** My heart dropped as I recognised the voice. Niles' smirking twang was all too horrifying to bare now. 

But before any sign of the door opening, I was plunged in darkness as, with a flit of his wrist, Xander covered me entirely with the cape. He kept an arm tight around my back as he pushed me against his chest. The door gave only a warning jiggle before it squaled open with the speed of Lightning. Xander had hardly a second to protest and scoot us away before it began.

"Oh-" Niles was cut off by a cry of disgust that resonated from an even worse voice. 

"By the gods!" Gunter yelled as Xander scrambled us backwards. 

"I-I can explain!" he yelled.

"I'd rather you not!" Gunter replied. "Niles, shut the damn door before a maid sees!" he hissed. "Gods, that had better be your wife."

Xander's grip on me tightened and I felt him lean forward. I inched my face back as to not touch his slick chest. 

"The fact you'd even dare think I'd bring another woman into my bed wh-"

"To be fair, Lord Xander, you're not in a-"

"Quiet!" The two of them yelled. Niles cleared his throat and dulled out a small, insincere apology. I could nearly see his smirk.

"Xander, by the gods, I'd thought you more mature than this." Gunter scolded, his footsteps tapping closer. He let out a snap-like groan. "And Corrin!" I flinched and dropped my head. He let out a grunt filled with shame. "I thought it was enough that you ran around the castle like a damned child but now you sleep on the floors! You'll not have anything to do with me till hell freezes over, child!"

"D-"

"Don't say a word." he snapped, cutting Xander off. The old man's voice turned to cold stone. "Be thankful I offered to find you rather than your father. He'd have your back for skipping duties, boy." Xander's heart pounded hard in my ear. His hand at my back grew soft. "Your father needs you. He's announcements for the coming attack and wishes to have you lead them with him."

The cape at my head fell to my neck. I turned away and shielded myself from their gazes. 

"What do you mean? What would he have me say?" Xander asked, lifting the fabric to partially cover my head.

"Gods if I'd know." Gunter said, sounded utterly done with this entire situation.

"Then what of Corrin? He wishes her to lead the attack does he not? Why wouldn't he have her with us?" A sigh resounded through the room.

"He thinks it a wise choice to keep her away from any immediate attention. She can't be seen in a good light." Xander scoffed.

"Yet, he allows her to attend a party?" The cape lowered to my neck.

 Gunter held up his hands and huffed, "I don't know, maybe he wanted to emphasize the ploy that she's controlling you, which," He eyed us with disgust. "has seemingly worked." My heart tightened. "I wouldn't be surprised if at this point, he's trying to make you innocent to them. After all, we can't have false rumors spread of a crown prince spying on his father. It would look much better if the foreigner had coerced or done it herself, wouldn't it?" Xander's fingers rapt at my shoulder, and he shifted to support his weight on his hand.

"Unfortunately, it would." Gunter hummed in acknowledgment and rocked back on his heels.

"I'm glad we can come to an agreement. Now, will you be returning to his side or not?"  

Xander took in a deep breath. "Let me get dressed, and I'll be up there in a moment." 

Gunter flicked up his eyebrows in realisation that we were still, very much, naked under the cape.

"Niles," he called, "fetch them a pitcher and a rag." He bobbed his head toward the man, being the most respectful I'd ever seen. He gave him a nod, and the growing comendment in my mind for his lack of mocks shattered when he cracked a smirk our way and ducked out of the room. 

Xander swallowed and cleared his throat. "Thank you..."

"Yes," he said with the squint of his eyes, "I'd pray that for your dignity, you'd not do this again."

"Of course." 

With that, he turned on his heel, and left the room without another word. We were abandoned in his awkward wake, and waited in a silence thicker than the slime they seasoned the venison with at dinner till we were cleaned and in the midst of being dressed. It wasn't until I had Xander tying my corset did we begin to speak. Though, his focus was stretched elsewhere. For the first time, I was able to watch as he mentally psyched himself up. It was some amalgamation of confidence, respect, and utter obedience that had my stomach churning as I watched his face subtly shift. His chin would raise, his brow would twitch, and his eyes would go dull. He sucked every bit of life and personality from them so easily... he handed them over to a cause we hadn't even faced yet with so much ease I was... nearly fearful. But for his own sake.

This was what the people saw, was it not? This was Prince Xander of Nohr to them. This intimidating wall of a man with seemingly nothing, was what they visioned when they heard his name.

A breath fell from my lips as I buttoned the final button at his collar. I finished my work with a tug at his cravat that covered a red, splotchy mark at the side of his neck.

"There," I muttered with a pat at his chest.

"Thank you." He finished me off with a yank and tied me off, much looser than that damn Mistress had. He hooked a finger into his cravat a tugged down, revealing his mark once again. He must not have known. 

He gave me a sideways look as I slipped it back up, clarifying with a, "I left a mark on you." He bumped up his chin in realization and snatched his cape from the floor where he promptly clipped it around my neck.

"I nearly forgot," he said, ears red as he looked me over. The cape was easily, much too large and pooled in a pile at my feet. He shrugged a shoulder. "This will have to do."

I gripped the edged of the fabric and pulled the forward to drape over my shoulders like a cloak. The tip of his mouth rose in a distracted smile whilst he brought his sash over his head and flattened it against his chest. He let out an exhale and looked beyond me, wringing his hands; twisting at his ring. His feet shuffled, and he looked back to me.

I took in a lung stretching breath. "Can I go back to our rooms?" I bent down to pick up my dress.  "What is there left for me to do?" I asked. He took it from my arms and I lifted my arms as he helped me squeeze inside. His warm hands flattened down the wrinkles at my waist, though his eyes were much too intent to be truly focused on anything other than his own mind.

"I think, it would be best if you remained in the ballroom," he advised as he pulled away from me. "Father could still need you at some point." He sighed, and picked at the seams of his glove. "We should stay until he dismisses us."

I groaned. "I'll have nothing to do. You know those noblemen won't dance with me, and I have no idea where Camilla or even Azura would be. Felicia's on duty and frankly, I'd rather not be with Niles or Odin right now."

"You could always try to make friends with Peri," he suggested. 

"Please, Xander. Let me go back..." 

He rubbed his face while shaking his head. Utter exhaustion, no doubt stemming from Gunter and his own mind clouded over him. "Just a bit longer is all I'm asking you. Please. I'll even admit that I don't want to be in their either."

I lowered my eyes in defeat. It hardly occurred to me he hated this just as much as I did, if not more. So, I offered a truce of sorts.

"When we return from the party, can we rest just for a little while?" 

He nodded. "I'll have a butler bring you some food you'll eat as well?" I pressed a hand to my stomach. Besides a snack here and there, I had hardly eaten at all today. 

"Please." I said. He waved me off and sat my circlet upon my head.

"Of course." He paused, before a small, tired grin flitted across his cheeks. " We'll have our own party, hmm?" I reveled in the thought. It would be a wonderful end to the day after all that's happened.

"Well, it's only a party if you dance with me," I admitted.

He took my hand and raised it to his chin. "Well then, you're in luck, I'm yours tonight, Little Princess." His eyes lowered. "As I am every night."  He sat a long, heart-numbingly genuine kiss on my knuckles that shot me with deadly accuracy. Maybe it was that faint, almost ecstatic smile he failed to hide while he rested his lips upon me, or possibly the thumb that brushed down my finger when he pulled away that had my cheeks tingling. 

Maybe.

He sat his circlet on his head and pulled a few curls over it's metal, then, like a switch, his focus was gone and stretched to his duties. He offered me an arm which I took, and we left the room with a roll of thunder at our heads, our masks discarded and forgotten.

 

We arrived in the ballroom in the midst of a heavy silence while the orchestra readied their next piece when Iago came to us, requesting Xander, and Xander alone.

Once I was alone, I decided it was time to skulk off and find a waiter serving wine or a sister offering conversation. Though, with Camilla's intuition, maybe I shouldn't approach her now. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if she knew just by our leave. 

I let out a breath and snuck away my grin and shimmied my way through the sea of swishing skirts as the music began once more. Its haughty jubilance was a nice change from the grim music from before. I'd have danced to it if I had a partner...

 I pulled my lips into a thin line and walked in step with the beat as I skipped around dancing partners in search for a waiter of some sort. A sip wouldn't hurt, and I'm sure the people are done trying to poison us now. 

Maybe I'd even find Felicia or- I saw Niles' shimmering head of hair and instantly turned on my heel to find another route to wine. I didn't need his knowing glances and smirks tonight. I'd hate to see how much joy I'd find from firing the man for one of his signature smiles. 

I weaved past a rather drunk woman dawning a glistening dark-blue gown to see the coattails of a butler and the shimmer of a single glass of wine on his tray. I let out an "Oh!" and rushed past another couple to pursue the man.

"Excuse me," I called, stumbling over a large foot. I muttered a small apology before trying to gain the man's attention once more. He stopped and looked over the heads of those surrounding me, eyes swooping just over my head in confusion before going about his business. I let out a sigh and raised up my hand, "Down h-"

I was cut off as I felt Xander's much-too-long-cape tighten and tug me down when a foot slammed on its slacked end. My ankle gave out, and I braced for impact against the cold marble.

But, before I had fallen even an inch, a hand, surrounded by a silver gauntlet, snatched the crook of my elbow. I let out a short gasp and cleaved their shoulder in hopes to stable myself. 

"Forgive me, Milady!" A male's voice, lilted with an accent called as I clamored to my feet. "I'd no idea I'd've stepped on your cape. I didn't mean to- no, not in the slightest, Miss!" I kept my hand on his shoulder as my eyes slowly raised.

A milky cape hung  loose at his back, the end stained faintly with mud. His brilliant, silver armor reflected two, blurred, red circles, whilst a greening copper dagger sat at his hip. My hand slipped to his elbow as I rose my head. The cape, was instead a cloak which spilled off his shoulders. A hood hung low on his face. Though, even without it, I'd not be given a clue to his identity from the stark white mask that puffed it's cheeks and frowned down at me. It's eyes squinted hard, as though it were judging all before it, and I was at a loss.

"Milady?" Speaking from the back of his throat, his voice was honeyed, and deep, though it was nearly unnatural it were so low.  I narrowed my eyes and leaned up towards his face. He reared back with a surprised chortle. This... couldn't possibly be the man who had sent for me? I can believe he was the one entering the library but... surely, this isn't him?

"Who are you?" I asked, letting go of his arm. He tilted his head  to avoid my grabby hand while I attempted to peels his mask away. He gently took my hand.

"I pray my offence wasn't enough to cause you to report me, Princess?" Humor laced with an odd amount of interest filled his voice. I hastily shook my head and pulled away from him. What was I doing? 

"No, of course not." I bowed my head. "Forgive me. I was curious is all." What was the point of even knowing his name or face in the first place? As if it'd help me figure out if he had sent for me that day.

"It's quite alright, Milady." He bowed his chin. "Still, I must make up for my idiotic mistake. Harming the princess consort is a fate worse than death." 

I forced a smile, and let an awkward laugh hiss past my teeth. 

"No. No." I rose my hand. "I'm fine. Truly... though," This could very well be my last chance to discover the messenger. Who knows how early Garon will send us off to the Ice Tribe. "I wouldn't be opposed to a dance." This seemed to be the only way to find out if my suspicions were true... and Camilla did say that man was harmless. Besides his dagger, whoever he was, did seem to check danger off the list.

He pulled his shoulders back and offered me a hand.

"Of course, Miss. I'd be happy to."

"Wonderful," I said, placing my hand at his shoulder and grasping his armored fingers. So sharp the ends were. His grip tightened a miniscule amount around my fingers as he cupped the fabric at my waist. 

He stood there, mask glaring, without movement as the jolting song came to an almost abrupt end. There was a moment of calm, filled only with the murmur of lips and boots before all went quiet, and turned to where I assumed the orchestra was stationed. Even my partner, unknown, looked towards them, and through the breaks in the crowd I saw a glimpse of a woman, her shimmering blue hair a beacon across the crowd, and beautifully plain black dress a match amongst the rest of the orchestra as she stood before us. I had only a second to see Azura's timid, but peaceful smile wash over the crowd at their respectful silence before I lost all sight between the heads of the nobles. 

A tap rung through the air, before the orchestra began again. A violin played a single, tinkering note, before the rest slithered forth, all entering in on a crescendo that when it hit it's peak, turned to a shadow of itself and beckoned Azura's powerful voice to fill the void.

I don't think the words she sang mattered... nor do I think the tone or even the meaning was more important than the utter starstruck feeling that hit me the moment she began. Every feeling she conveyed with just her voice was enough to command any man, woman, or child to still and listen for a moment, a beat of time no less. Yet, the moment lasted hardly as long as it should've.

Within seconds the nobles began to dance again and let their chatter sully her performance. 

I let out a sigh and turned back to my partner, who, unlike all else, kept his attention focused on her. The hand at my waist faltered and fell without his notice. I sucked in a breath and grabbed it before it hit my hip. He jumped and turned back to me.

"Gods above, forgive me!" he cried, jumping back and raising his hands. He bowed his head and nearly lost his mask. But, with the reflexes of a ninja, caught it before more than just a sliver of blushing tanned skin was revealed to me. His concealed fingers pushed his disguise against his face at the bridge of the nose, as he lowered his body even more. 

I sighed. Poor thing looked mortified. I approached him and patted his shoulder to free him of such an awkward pose and he rose with his arms stiff at his side.

"Forgive me, miss! I had no intention of-"

"Hush," I said, putting his hand back a my waist. He reluctantly moved back to our earlier position, though he was rigid against me. I stepped off, and I opted on leading us to the beat of the chorus. 

"She's enchanting, isn't she?" I muttered, trying to ease the silence between us." He nodded.

"A-Aye, Ma'am, she is." He stumbled and bumped his foot dangerously close to mine. His nerves must be getting to him. "I've never heard the Princess sing 'till now, and I've always heard she was quite the musician, but I never thought it would be enough to... stun an entire room."

It was my turn to stumble, and my heel crashed into his foot. Besides a look down, he hardly seemed to notice.

"Sorry." I mumbled as I struggled to fall back in step with him, which was difficult enough considering how horrid he was as well. It felt as though he had no idea to dance period as he struggled to even remain in tempo. The only thing he seemed competent in was his ability to move. Was it correct in steps? No. But at least he knew where he was going. He cleared his throat.

"Aye, you're perfectly fine, Miss. As you can see," He nodded to his feet, "I'm not very proficient in it either."

"How odd for a _Nohrian noble_ not to have any training." The only way this man was a Nohrian noble was if he had the Hoshidan tastes of Silas. The one thing I did know of war and combat was that Nohrian ebony armor was unrivaled even to the Hoshidan silver. Not a single man in their right mind would go into battle here without it. Come to think of it, that ore may be the only big thing they have going for them trade wise. Here's hoping the new trade routes will do them some good after The Ban. As much as I despise Garon, his people don't deserve a life of hunger and poverty...

"Aye, but I won't lie to you miss," he admitted. "I'm not a noble in any sense. I'm a retainer of one." Ah... that would make more sense... Maybe Silas is here and this is his retainer? Though, I never saw Silas with a guard period. Even so, it would explain his armor.

"They must be very generous to gift you with such expensive and tasteful protection. My own retainers don't wear anything that nice." Though... I don't really control what they do. Should I give them more money? No... Xander's in charge of their pay.

"Aye, she was."  _Was?_   I tightened my grip on his shoulder and leaned in.

"If your mistress is treating you badly, you can tell me. I'm positive a foul word from my husband will turn her around." I put a hand on my hip. "Or, as I'm sure you know, I could convince her myself since it seems every damn noble in this place is stuck-up, nosey, and full of-" I bit down on my tongue as the groups around us began to stare. I clamped my hand back onto his shoulder. "Well... you know," I mumbled lowly. "I could probably talk some sense into her since I can turn into a dragon."

"I-I'm quite shocked you're so open to it now." He stammered, twirling me awkwardly. The doors of the ballroom spun past me as he pulled me back into his grasps. I cocked a brow.

"Well, you know don't you? Surely your mistress was there. Garon announced it."

"I-I'm not sure she was." 

"That's... odd, Gar- King Garon had every noble there. He ordered it." I mused.

"Really. Well, she may have been there but just didn't tell me," he said with confidence. I hummed in mock acceptance. This was in no way suspicious. No. Not in the slightest. 

Gods, I nearly rolled my eyes. 

I set my jaw. "What is your mistress' name anyway? I may know her?"

"Aye, I assure you you do, but I've ordered not to speak her name. She quite enjoys parties after all and she's so recognisable, even with a mask, so, she'd like to keep her presence from you a secret." I narrowed my eyes. I knew no one here. Besides the royal siblings and Silas, there wasn't a single noble in the whole country I knew.

"Then who are you?"

"No one of importance, Milady."

He twirled me again, and only now did I notice how faint Azura's voice now was, or how cold it was becoming as we moved just out of the ballroom doors. I was instantly put on edge and slowed my feet the second I had taken a step out of that room. His dagger glinted in the light.

"Surely," I began, panic rising in my voice as he led me out of sight from the ballroom. "considering your armor, your attitude, and how you carry yourself, you're quite important. Actually..." I hissed, gritting my teeth. "I bet you're so important you aren't even a retainer." I stopped dead in my tracks. His hand tightened around mine.

I wasted no time and sucked in a breath to scream, but the cold, sharp edge that pressed against my back silenced me. I let out a small whimper as he pressed it directly into a wound.

"Keep dancing. Follow my lead. Mind the stairs," He uttered, urging me to move with the tap of his foot against my heel. I spitefully moved, stepping in time with a beat I could just hardly hear. The knife pierced through the thin scab and I let out a sharp cry at the pain. He hissed. "Forgive me, Milady." He whispered as we passed a maid, looking to us curiously.

Even with his knife, boring into my skin, with Xander's cape, she'd never see it, and not even my uncomfortable stance or teary eyes were enough to have her question me. I was a filthy Hoshidan after all.

"I don't want your damn apology." I spat once she had passed. "Who are you?! Are you one of those trying to kill me for speaking against Garon? Or are you the one who had requested me earlier!?" My voice crackled against the pressure. I could feel my pendant flame against my chest, and the horns that began to weigh down my head. I could tell the instant that man noticed my fingers and their shimmering scales, when his body went rigid. 

"Stay calm, I'm not here to harm you, I assure you." He uttered, an unnerving amount of calmness about him. I bore sharpened teeth.

"What do you mean stay calm!?" I hissed. My body urged me to change, and something deep within myself screamed to rip the pendant from my neck. It was the only way I could change, wasn't it? No. No, I could do it without. I did it at the border! I can do it again! He can't hurt me if I'm a dragon!

But what was I supposed to do?

I let the anger and fear fill my bones, but it only irritated the wings pressing so painfully hard against my corset. I let out a cry of pain and tightened my grip around his hand. Gods, this thing was going to break my wings.

"Go into that room, Milady." I grit my teeth and stepped to an oaken door. I stood stubbornly, refusing to go inside as true fear began to bubble in my chest. He was going to kill me. Gods, he was going to kill me. A whimper escaped my throat as those useless wings readied to burst from my dress. 

He reached ahead of me, and gently pushed me inside it's dark interior. It smelled of roses, and oranges. Such a happy smell for a horrible time, I thought, as I tripped over my heels and fell to the ground. His hands not there to save me as I fell hard.

The door clicked shut, and I was plunged into pitch-black darkness, grim with the rolls of thunder over ahead. I pulled myself up onto my knees and scrambled away until I bumped against a wall. I pressed my chest to it as I prayed to the gods they'd turn me into a dragon. 

"Please, please, don't do anything." I whispered, trying to bide my time as my wings horribly stretched and ached. The feeling sent pain all the way to my spine. My nails scratched against the cobbled of the wall. My throat began to close at the pain of it all.

I grit my teeth as hard as I could as I willed and thought harder than I ever had to force myself to change. Bu there was nothing. 

Tears streamed down my face.

"Damn it." I spat, voice trembling as a quick scratch filled the air. A small amount of light filled the room, though it was hardly enough to even see the wall in front of me. I whipped around and faced him. He sat a fizzling striker against a lantern's candle wick, letting a dim light cascade over us before he shoved the item back into his pockets. "Damn it." I whimpered. 

Change now. Gods, the one time I need you, please! 

He turned to me and I grabbed my pendant.

I was willing to lose control for my cause. I was willing to rampage the entire castle if I had to. My lip trembled and I scooted my shoulder against the wall as he neared me, dagger glinting in the candlelight. I pulled the stone far from my neck. The metal line was ready to snap against my neck. One flick of my wrist was all it took.

" **Stay. Back.**  I'm not afraid to do it!" I warned. He rose his hands in some offer of peace as he stilled. "Get away, right now! Or I swear to the gods-"

"Forgive me, Princess Corrin," he cried hastily. A metallic clatter filled the room in time with a boom of thunder. Rain smashed against the roof of the castle. My eyes opened wide. I sucked in a shaky breath and scooted farther down the wall to put distance between us. This man was insane.

"Get out! Just leave me alone!" I whispered, gripping my pendant tight as tears pricked my eyes.

He stood there for a moment, utterly immobile, before falling to a single knee and dropping his head. I knit my brows together and rose my chin in utter shock and confusion as he placed a fist to his heart. 

It was the sign of fealty.

"Who are you? What do you want from me?" I said past a thick tongue. My mind was racing as I watched him. Was he going to attack me? Was it over?

He reached back, and tugged down his hood. 

Olive hair, slicked and pulled back stuck to his scalp. 

"Forgive me." He uttered again, accent discarded, pitch raised, as he spoke easily. Calmly. Honeyed and soft was his voice... and like days long gone I could let myself drown in them.

He pulled the mask from his face, and tanned, bruised skin stared back at me. Garon's injuries always had a way of lasting ages. 

I sucked in a breath to withhold any sound that cloud escape from my throat, but a name I thought I'd never utter, never taste, rolled past my lips.

"Kaze." I whispered, as though saying his name would wouldn't make this anymore real... as if it would jinx his presence. His poisonously purple eyes struck through my own, and my very soul was rendered silent and still. His brows strained and knit together as he began to cringe. 

He shifted to sit on his calves, and rested his hands into his lap. But after my own short glance to the dagger, its tip festering with a drop of blood, he swiped it away even further from us, where it slid behind a piece of furniture.

I could hear his swallow as it resounded through the room, and surely, were I an inch closer my heart would've resounded in his ears. I gripped my necklace tight enough to crack and pressed my aching wings against the wall. I held my breath and watched his mouth twitch to speak.

I didn't understand.

I couldn't understand.

By the gods, why was he here after all we'd done to return him to Hoshido?

"Milady, I-" A breath hissed from his teeth, before he raised his head. A flickering coal of confidence burned behind his eyes as he pulled back his shoulders. His fingers tightened in his lap with an audible rub of leather. "I come bearing a message." My brows strained and I pressed my back against the wall.

"Garon will have you neck, Kaze," I whispered in horror as I retched away from him. "He'll have my back, gods, Kaze, why are you here?" What's happening?!

"I'm no longer under Hoshido's service, or Ryoma's protection. I've trespassed in Nohr and Krakenburg I won't deny that, but before you turn me in, I beg of you to listen to me." I knit my brows together.

"What do you mean you're 'no longer under Hoshido's service.'"

"I resigned from the military, and left my service in Shirasagi. I am no longer permitted on any of Ryoma's lands." He leaned forward and used a hand to stable himself. His eyes burned with determination. "The explanation of my resignation is why I've come here." I inched back. 

"You-" My eyes flicked to the dagger swiped behind a chair- "need to get away from me, Kaze," I warned. I shook my head. "Far away. I don't know what's happened. I-I'm not sure what's going on but I'm positive of one thing," My eyes hardened. "you need to leave."

It was my own fear of Garon that fueled me and what he could do to me knowing I spoke with Kaze after all that had happened. The mere suspicion he holds with those innocent, and the utter lack of care for those around him chilled my bones. Even now, I can smell his breath as my back aches. I can see his unnatural, greyed skin curtle and darken with blackened blood. I can feel a snap, and dizziness, and pain.

He wanted me to be horrified of him; wanted me to cower and be at his will, and at my own discretion, he's won in the tiniest of ways.

But no matter my fear, no matter the fact that I knew I could not hide Kaze from him, I could at least have the man escape long before he found him and his gibbet.

"Leave," I uttered in a dizzying haze. His eyes hardened.

"I refuse." I bit back tears.

 **"Leave!"**  I bellowed. He hardly flinched against my words. 

"I have traveled hundreds of miles-"

"I don't care-"

"-to bring you a warning, Milady. I didn't come here to harm you. I didn't come here to do anything else." Desperation cried from him. "I'm not blind that coming here is a secured death, but that shows how determined I am to speak with you. Turn me in. Do what you wish, but I refuse to go without speaking my peace."

I clamped my nails against the pulsating stone and considered him. My toes curled and I glanced to the door. If Xander was right, I could be needed by Garon... and who knows how long we had till someone came looking for me. I nibbled the chapping skin at my lips and looked back to Kaze. He looked so weak now... so unlike the man I knew in Hoshido. His face was speckled in dirt, and his hair seemed slicked back not with some sort of jell, but some culmination of his own oils and slime. His armor was the only clean thing about him.

He looked more determined than I'd ever seen in my life. Sporting a face grimmer than Saizo's, and more serious than Gunter's. There was an air off difference about him. A ticking sort of feeling that surrounded him anxiously, though his eyes held onto a calmness I was convinced was anything but a facade. He was nearly at peace. Though, there was one last step before acceptance, and I knew just what it was. 

And who was I to keep him from it.

"Speak," I uttered. He let out a breath as dark and foreboding as the storm overhead and rose his head.

"I never intended for this to happen. Never in my wildest nightmares would I think I'd put a dagger to you back and corner you like this." He clasped his hands. "I want you to know that, Corrin." 

I pressed my pendant against my collarbone, but I refused to speak.

"I am the one who sent for you," he admitted. "but I wasn't the one who had gotten Lady Camilla to convince you. That was through a butler and whatever coin I had left, but that doesn't matter." He swallowed, and took in a deep breath. "When I had been freed, and the business was done, Ryoma came to me with a medal and a request." He exhaled through his nose. "He wished for me to swear fealty to him, as I was not present when he was crowned king, and asked me to join my brother as a retainer of sorts. He gave me a night to think." He shook his head. "I was already ready to say no. I watched him treat Saizo with a coldness I'd never seen. He humiliated Yukimura and Kagero as though they were nothing then, the top of it all he allowed my brother to put a weapon to your throat.

"I was not blind to him. I knew he had manipulative tendencies. I knew... but I- never in my life would I suspect him to truly give into them." The candle light flickered in his eye. "Yukimura came to me in the night I had to decide, Corrin. He warned me of him. I'd never seen him more flustered and upset in my life." I took in a deep, slow breath and pushed myself harder against the wall as he shifted to to be on both knees. "It was a trap was what he told me. A ploy to get me back in Ryoma's trust before he ultimately used me." He clenched his fist. "Kagero somehow knew of our relationship, and by his orders, she told him what she knew. Yukimura told me he was furious at first. That you'd had the, 'gall to hide something from him and sink so low.'" My heart clenched. "Then, it changed. He became downright spiteful. But that wasn't what started all this. No, this all had begun long before he even knew.

"Corrin," His eyes began to flare in disgust. "I was never there to hear the orders, and I never saw them once."

"Who?" I asked, brows furrowed. "What did he tell you?" 

He grit his teeth. "My job, if Ryoma had gotten over his spite, would be to travel to Nohr every few weeks to swap with ninja already stationed inside to spy. To spy on Lord Xander; Lady Camilla; Lady Azura; Garon-" my head began to whirl as he listed all those around me. My retainers. Xander's retainers. Gunter, Iago, everyone. Then it shifted. Cooks and maids I hardly even know. Soldiers and generals I knew were high priority visitors of the castle. Everyone in relation to Xander or Garon I had hardly a clue of- When finally, he stopped at, "You."

My stomach curled. Horror and disbelief curdled in my throat as the list of days and events rolled at my feet. A chill ran down my spine, but no, he wasn't finished.

"He knows every route you take. He knows the people you prefer to talk to, Corrin. He has your life down to a science and Xander?" He chortled grimly. "You'd think he was writing a novel with how he's described the prince to Yukimura." Resentment and pitty streaked across his cheeks. "He knows... so much, Corrin. So much about Nohr and Krakenburg you'd think he was preparing for a damn war." I shook my head. No _._  "He knows those around you to such an extent that it horrifies me." No.

"I-I- No. No-" I put a hand to my mouth and shook my head. A baffled laugh hissed through my lips. "No," I stated firmly. "He wouldn't do something like that, Kaze. No matter how odd he is,he wouldn't-... he..." 

_"Do you honestly think I'd send you unsupervised?"_

He'd told me himself the night I left home. His words had stung and stuck to me like a protective shield, as though knowing he'd have me safe and under watch- though scarcely in his own words- and yet, now, they horrify me. 

_"Little Princess."_

The world began to spin.

Like never before, I felt Ryoma's gaze in every corner and every wall. Every crevice he was there, his ears, his eyes, his very being present to watch me fail and break under Nohr's heavy boot and wait for me to die. Even with my back, pressed hard against a wall, I felt him behind me. Close enough to smell the sweat and tang of flowers on his skin. Close enough to feel the wisps of hair he'd chopped off. Close enough to feel him. 

I saw him in every corner of every room. I saw him in every spec of my vision- his words choking as the sting of sake burns my throat.

_"Little Princess."_

The words he tainted are heavy in my head. 

_"Little Princess."_

It is not Xander's voice that whispers it in my ear. It is not his eyes that look upon me.

Horrified tears stream down my face as spit forms in my mouth, a grave warning of the vomit churning and rising in my throat. I whimper. I cry for a second of a moment and crumple to my knees as I feel it- feel the collaborated eyes of my blind months all turn and scour me with their beady pupils. 

A cold sweat wets my skin and panic, absolute panic, rises in my chest.

He's seen everything.

He's watched everyone.

He knows all.

_"Little Princess."_

A wisp of air shot across my face, and just like that, the only remnant of Kaze was his mask. A cry escaped my lips as the door swung open and banged against the wall. Xander, Odin, and Niles barreled inside, each armed with a dagger as they looked around frantically. I leaned back in shock as my keening went silent.

Xander's eyes found me first, and he wasted no time in approaching me and scooping me up onto my feet and against him. 

"What's going on?" I asked as I trembled uncontrollably. He backed me away from the corner. 

"I found a weapon in the corner," Odin called out. "As well as a mask." I furrowed my brows and tried to calm the sweltering mess I was as to come out with a reasonable explanation as to what was happening. 

"There's blood on it, Lord Xander. Check her back for any wounds. I saw him pull this knife on her," Niles added. Oh gods.

"Check the room. We don't leave this place until we find him," Xander ordered, sweeping me towards the door. I sunk my heels into the ground and stopped him. Of all the people besides Garon, Xander was the last person who needed to know Kaze was here. He would just as quickly send him to the king, and I wasn't sure how far his charity would run for this man. My heart picked up and I swallowed down the bile rising in my throat. Too many things were happening at once.

"I-I can assure you, I came in here alone!" I reasoned half heartedly. "There's nothing you need to worry about. Or anyone for that matter." Xander met my eye just as my face contorted in anguish.

"You're shaking, Corrin," he breathed. "You're crying. You're in pain." His eyes widened and he motioned to Niles. "And Niles came to me during my speech saying he watched a man put a knife to your back! There are more than a few things I should be worried about right now!"

A wisp of air flitted past my ears. 

"Wait- I heard something." Odin called. Xander loosened his grip on me, only to beckon me behind him. I didn't move an inch, and though it may have been my trembling legs, it was as well the fear of Kaze being caught that kept me still. Xander took a step in front of me.

"Show yourself," he called. "I can assure you, if you surrender to us now, your punishment will be less severe."

"Xander," I begged, "I'm alone! The mask was here before I ever showed up! I was dancing with someone then I-I left," I put my hand on his arm, "I couldn't stand being in there, then I got scared and ran in here."

Niles hushed me and held up a hand. He glanced to Xander, and nodded to a pitch-black corner of the room. Another wisp of air. I held my breath. Xander kicked the door shut with his boot and moved to have me between him and it. 

If I was in my right mind, surely I could figure this out and explain it without offering Kaze like a lamb. If the castle was so infected, I know I could easily lie and have one of them found. I know I could! I-I just can't stop crying- I can't stop shaking. Oh gods-

"I'm swear to you I'm not lying."

"Come now. Make this easier for everyone and show yourself. You've done enough tonight," Niles cooed as the trio ignored me. I clenched my fist. A tear dropped from my chin, panic rose in my voice as Odin approached the corner and Niles the furniture.

"What didn't you understand when I said I was alone! I-"

A whisper of air fluttered cross my cheeks, and I was silent against the sight of Kaze, bowed low on his hands and knees before Xander. The prince let free a noise from his throat, riddled with confusion, and shock as he leaned back.

The tension from both Niles and Odin melted into utter dumbfoundedness as they stared on at the sight. A Hoshidan Ninja, who they have very much seen before, on his hands and knees without a single fight. I sucked in a breath.

"Forgive me, Milord. I... have no reason to hide." He curled his fingers. "I understand the weight of trespassing not once but twice, and I request that, if I am to be executed now, it be by your hands."

"What are you doing?" I wept. Xander gave a peaceful touch to my arm before he sheathed his dagger in his boot. My retainers followed suit. 

"Peace, Corrin. I wouldn't harm a man who's surrendered." Kaze remained still and tense. "Still, I am quite... intrigued to hear as to why you're back here," He rose his chin. "or why Ryoma has sent you to threaten my wife."

"I'm here with my own message, Milord. "

"I see..." He paused for a moment, then turned to my retainers. "Thank you for remaining on guard tonight even when dismissed. I assure you, you will be repaid in full for your vigilance." He clasped his hands behind his back. "I would only request now that you escort Corrin to our room." He glanced to me, and his demanure softened against his will, ever so slightly. "I need you to try and calm down, and when you're ready, I'd like it if you returned here." His voice was gentle, and nearly regretful. The eyes I was desperate for guidance and stability lingered on me before he sighed and turned back to Kaze, leaving me lost in . "As for you, I'm going to assume, something interesting has transpired in Hoshido to cause you to return here without it's protection. Would I be wrong?"

"No sire," he admitted. Xander laced his fingers.

"Then, it's time that the two of us had a discussion of sorts."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I COME BEARING GIFTS!!!!
> 
> I'm really sorry about how long this took, but I hope the length and *ahem* contents, make up for it as well as the doodle I did while brainstorming for what outfits could look like. I lost the version I based the description off in the chapter to my dog, so here is what it could've been. Here's hoping it doesn't look too jarring. If enough people think it is, I can easily remove it from the chapter. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful day!!
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: So, since I feel awkward about just making this a chapter on it's own, I'm going to just put it here instead and mention it once the next chapter is out as well.
> 
> So, I think it's high time that instead of pushing the older chapters and how horrible they sound via grammar and general sentence structure (just everything I was horrible at then and am just bad at now) I've decided to actually edit them and just get rid of stressing over it. Now, I won't be changing any of the contents. I'm not adding anything at all. No extra scenes, no extra dialogue, nothing. The most I'll do is simply change word choice and placement and the tense for whenever I used to switch out of past tense. So, please don't feel obligated to read over 300 pages of just an HD remake of a story.
> 
> The first order of business?
> 
> ...Spelling Nohr right...


	18. The Phantom's Embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, I never thought I'd ever have someone draw fanart of this story, and I'm pretty sure I'm dying because of it. My heart can't handle this.   
> Please, check out this [ wonderful art oh my goodness](http://akirahanazaki.tumblr.com/image/169355073753)

I can't quite remember how I got back to my room, nor can I remember how I'd changed into a new dress. I don't think I know why my legs burned or when my fingers and toes had turned grotesque with scales. However, I knew why, because, as I stare my disgusting face down in the mirror, my thoughts fall not to the scales that corner my eyes nor the horns that extended to cup my jaw- but the phantom behind me, the ringleader of this new transformation that touched every inch of me.

His touch, unfamiliar in its unfamiliarity, caressed my cheek in time with my own trepidatious hand. His eyes, newly harsh and horrid, narrowing and creasing in both hate and mockery, looked upon me like I were the sun- as though I scorched his eyes and burned his skin. His gaze.... omnipotent and omniscient stroked every inch of me as he leaned forward, voice seductive with control as he slipped a bangle around my neck. 

_"He only wishes to protect you from these Nohrians, my little dragon. Don't resist him... we only wish to protect you before you're too far gone."_

_"How could you ever dare to demonise your dear brother after all the lengths he's gone to protect you? What a horrible daughter you have. Thank the gods you aren't here to see her."_

He clipped his chain upon my bangle, and tightened his grip. 

_"You know he only wants the best of you. You know how stressful that visit to the border was for everyone, how he'd never do anything to upset you, Little Dragon. He just wants the best for you. You know that, dear. You **know**  that."_

He tugged me backwards.

_"If you leave this place tonight, I'll never forgive you... You can forget us ever being siblings..."_

And I fell easily into his arms, tattooed crudely with the word "family" in bold letters, and I relaxed against his deceitfully warm grip.

_"Little Princess."_ A doppleganger voice hissed against the marks on my neck.  _"Dirty whore."_ His grotesque fingers tightened around me. His arms grew cold and uninviting as he crushed me into submission whispering those same sweet nothings.

_"Nohrian scum."_

_"Mutt."_

_"Worthless, bastard child."_

His hand slithered between my ribs and found my withering heart. Those fingers, scratching and grabbing, once secured, clamped around it and began squeezing a dangerous rhythm in time with its waning beat. 

His hundreds of eyes, ones that stretched over every inch of his body focused upon me as my heart seamlessly pumped in time with him.

No control.

No hope.

Yet, I pushed back as his grip grew tighter and tighter, killing me. I choked against my ties as his arms trapped me, and with a free hand, I tore myself open to rip out his infection bit, by bloody bit until there was seemingly nothing. Until the phantom was gone, and I was alone and leaning over the vanity, inches away from the mirror as my breath clouded my image.

But a tiny sliver of his disease remained... infesting me just like the eyes that infested Krakenburg so that its single, iron chain could remain secure around my neck. 

I let out a low breath and met my eye in the mirror. I sat a scaly hand to my nape and relished in the cold, almost watery feeling that came off them. For so long it had felt as though a fine sheet had been laid over my skin, making everything feel fake and artificial as it sullied my every attempt to ground myself in reality and back away from what felt like thousands of eyes that watched my every move. 

Diligently, they watched me as I stepped from the bathroom and adjusted the borrowed dress so my wings could fall over the back even easier. Closely, they examined me as I took Xander's cape and wrapped it tight around my shoulders. Intently, they stared as I looked forward, a small sense of duty overriding my fear.

I would be alright. So long as I kept my pendant on I would be fine... Even if the horns were larger and heavier tonight, and my fingers were anything but human. Even if my head was drowning in thought... and I was anything but stable, if I focused on something, and if I kept grounded- kept away from the eyes and the spies and the brothers and mothers and instead upon the husbands and the dreams of something calm and warm with him and not a green haired man who once again stumbled upon my doorstep, I would be fine until it was time to crumble.

So, I focused on that same olive-haired man living another day and going through life with only one encounter with Garon. I saw him with a wife and a child and something wonderful in the very house I had dreamed of when I was naive enough to think I played any part in my fate. I tried not to focus on that sting... that faint pain that ached my heart when I thought of him because... I can't lie to myself that, though it was a childhood love that had blossomed for hardly four seasons before closing, it did not wilt painlessly. But it didn't make that new, true, odd, calm, warm- gods, that new feeling with Xander that we still dipped our toes into any less pure and genuine, but there was a prick of the old times nonetheless. 

Kaze and I's strings had been tied up fast... that red lace that connected us was snipped all too quickly to ease out of it painlessly... but we would age, and we would live in new lives with new people who loved us more fiercely and more genuinely than we could fathom... and we would love them back just as much. Because, of all the things Kaze and I had different, the one similar monomer was the fact that we did not love softly. We would be crushing in our affection and care and frankly, I believe I've found a person who desperately needed such a thing. 

And like him, I needed what he has to offer as well, because I needed someone to care for like I've never cared before. I needed... him, every angle and side until I could hardly handle it anymore. One taste and I was addicted to his calm, steady feeling of love that could overwhelm you so delicately and so slowly that you'd become overflowing with it and hardly even realise.

I rolled in my lips that still tasted of him and put a hand to my neck... still warm with his touch. 

I wonder... how he will feel if tonight goes awry?

I let out a breath. Anything goes when I return, but it was my duty to be sure the worst couldn't occur. Just as Kaze believes it is still his duty to protect me, I believe it is mine to do so with him as well. No matter if Xander has made my business his, I will play a part in his judgment and be sure it does not take place under a frowning, stone statue.

There are ways to keep him from Garon... and no matter how horrified I am to think of what would happen if, as always, we were caught hiding away a Hoshidan ninja and lying about the source of our news, I must push away the fears because... because a beating is not as bad as letting a man die. And I have already learned that self-sacrifice is not always noble in the aftermath.

Maybe this time it will be less painful. Maybe I'll be just as blind and numb as the first time.

Steady breaths were all I had left as I felt my scales bristle and raise up my neck, cementing their place and very quietly whispering,  _"We're here to stay."_

I tightened the cape around me in time with the faint knocking at the door.

"Milady, are you alright... I'm still here if you need me." 

Odin. The poor man had been trying to help since I'd slammed the door in his and Niles face. He'd remained even when Niles left, off to where I didn't catch. Even when I ordered him to leave, he stayed, though said not a single word to me until now.

I moved to the door.

"Thank y-" I hastily covered my mouth at the rugged inhuman sound that garbled forth. My voice sounded doubled and distorted, as if I spoke through a wall of water. 

"Milady?" Something shuffled on the other side of the door. "Milady are you alright?"

"Yes-" I cleared my throat. "Yes-" The sound remained. "No-" I let out a huff and pressed my palms against my eyes. My heart felt tight. 

It would take so little to have me crumbling into nothing. The only thing that kept me from utterly breaking down was Kaze and the thought that Xander could so easily send him off. I could walk into that room to find him sitting there, heart sewn tight on his sleeve as he broke the news that Garon had taken him and he hardly fought for it this time.

But if I gave into that even as little as I gave into the horror of the spies, I don't know if I could recover in time.

It was even more of a reason to make haste and return to them. Who knows how long until the dragon grows sick of toying with me and forces a full transformation.

"Milady, Niles is surely almost back with Xander, please just hold on."

"N-No." I rubbed my eyes until I saw sparks. I willed myself to speak past the dragon's voice. "No. I can meet them- I can go. I don't need him." I grabbed his cape and threw it up to cover my towering horns. 

Xander didn't need to console me when something much more important was going on. We can't risk leaving Kaze alone to be caught without explanation.

I seized a key and unlocked the door before stepping out into the dark halls of the castle. A draft bristled my skin the moment I was out and the millions of eyes not already in my room turned to me. 

I sucked in a quick breath in time with Odin's gasp of surprise. His shock tore my mind away from it's dark depths. I hastily whipped my head to look to him.

Shock, uncensored and unbridled hung across his face like a banner as he examined me. He brought a hand up to his chest and rolled an invisible ball between his fingers.

"M-Milady?" He uttered. I looked down to my hands, gripping the cape tight enough to tear. I nodded, not keen on using my voice more than necessary. I swallowed, hoping my anxieties would go with it. I rolled in my lips only to bite at their soft surface. "Are you... positive you want to meet him? Surely... surely the," he lowered his voice, "ninja, can follow in secret?"

I shook my head, but opted on giving a clarification, "I must go, Odin."

He looked to my small form, hidden almost head to toe in a cape that still managed to reach the ground, and I wonder if he was scared. He and Niles both had spoken of their interest in my transformations, though those initial conversations were long off, they don't escape me now. Now, I only wonder if this, just the glimpse of my face and hands, is more than he had ever thought- if I disgusted him like those nobles who hardly gave me a glance until Xander showed interest... and even then it was no doubt to see what kind of horrific spell I had placed on him to trick and control him into being some sort of traitor. Yes, I wonder if that's what Odin thought of me now. Some traitorous monster.

But all too quickly my thoughts were smashed as he, without hesitation, offered me an arm.

"Be of no fear, as I, your loyal retainer, shall ward off any craven and mongrel who dares to gawk or mock you! As fierce as the very dragon you posses, I shall be your shield!" The tiniest of smiles fluttered past my lips. It's almost funny how he thinks  _I_ control the dragon and not the other way around... 

I took his arm carefully, knowing too much of any physical contact that wasn't of my own could very quickly overwhelm me. Still, with a deep breath and a head held as high as my horns would allow, I tried to handle it. 

At the end of tonight Kaze will be safe, but only if I accepted my duties as the herald of the very end of tonight I dreamed of.

 

 

I would have to commend Odin on his ability to be quick and efficient. He easily kept up with my rushed pace and would, without missing a single beat, call out a order to any noble, maid, or spy to keep a hand at the level of their eye or to cast their gaze away. He had such flair with his words that the mere notion of one not following his orders would be a mockery upon his opera like performance. Besides a handful of shocked glimpses, I was hardly seen. It wasn't until we came across a Xanderless Niles did I find one person who had time to truly drink in the monstrosity of my form. Him.

Truthfully, I would've expected amusement. I would've expected his shock to be nothing less than some biting laugh and mockery. 

_"Of all the things I've seen today- I don't quite think this was what Xander had in mind when he asked you to calm down."_

Something. Some sort of acknowledgement that I was horrific and worthy of humiliation for simply being conceived. Yet, there was nothing. He gave me not a simple look of shock, nor some scrap of care that another may give. He had no curiosity. He had no opinions even when I knew- when I thought he would. He just disregarded it.

But that was the beauty of our strained relationship, wasn't it? A mutual disregard for one another. What reasons did we have to do anything else? Niles was just doing a job, one I wouldn't be surprised that he hated, and I, frankly, didn't like him. Every word he spouted made me grind my teeth, and on more than one occasion he'd made me transform from annoyance alone.

Though, had I ever given him a reason to be civil or even a reason to enjoy his job?

Niles' eyes wafted over my face for a single moment before he moved to Odin. "Well, as you can tell, Lord Xander has denied your request. In fact, he's denying everyone everything currently."

Odin furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

"Peri and Laslow were outside the door just before me, asking about the threat on Corrin. He wouldn't even let them inside. He's put out an order that all retainers are to stay away from that wing of the castle until further notice."

Of course he would. No one, not even my retainers should know Kaze was here. Not yet, at least. We can't risk a panic before it's even reached a head.

Odin sighed. "I shouldn't be escorting her down here, should I?" Niles snorted.

"Right now, Xander doesn't even think she's capable of leaving the room. He didn't exactly leave me instructions for that." He turned to me and crossed his arms. "He's given you the okay to remain in your room, by the way. He also asked that I tell you he knows. What does he know? I and half of the royal body, don't know. Of course," His eyes flashed with curiosity, "you could always tell us. We are your dedicated protectors, Milady." 

I let out a puff of air. They knew enough already. The more people involved in this before Kaze is safe, the bigger a chance we have of losing him and harming more people if he is to be found. Niles, of all people, didn't need anymore wounds from Garon that stemmed from someone else's cause.

I turned to Odin and lowered my voice, "I'll go on my own. Just give me directions." He nodded and pointed to the hall. A dry, balmy breeze passed over my skin the moment I looked into it's dark expanse. I met the eye of an invisible man, and hundreds of his companions in that single glance alone. 

"Keep going straight then take a left. It's eight doors down." In the corner of my wide eyes, I saw him turn to me. "Are..." He let out a sigh. "Are you positive you don't need us to escort you? Surely there are loopholes in Xander's orders we can find. You-"

"No." I looked to the floors, hoping its bland surface would keep my thoughts from the spies. If anyone saw a noble, a princess no less, being escorted to some seemingly boring room, it would draw even more unwanted eyes to it. We couldn't risk it for my comfort. I swallowed down the thick, rancid taste of fear and anxiety and turned back to Odin. He pushed a tuft of corn-yellow hair from his forehead and gave me a quick nod.

"Of course, Milady." He took a step away from me "May your secrets and truths confide safely in that room."

I would've spoken my thanks if I had a humaine voice left to say them, so I gave a nod, and left without a single glance back.

The walk was fast and filled with my haste and trembling, ticking fingers that were relentless against the fine seems of Xander's cape. I felt the claw of my thumb snap and tear tiny rips at it's strings with every step I took and when I was before the door, I had accidently pushed a claw right through the fabric. 

I let out a breath and clasped my hands together, looking to the bleak door waiting for only myself to step across the threshold of a crisis. I took a step forward and put my hand upon the cold door handle, and just to be sure I was at the right room, I pressed my ear to the oak.

I had no intention to eavesdrop, none at all considering he had at one time expected me to be present, but could I blame myself for going still at their quiet words? 

"So he's already picked a side?" Xander's voice, pulled taught and stiff whittled past the wood. 

"Well, King Ryoma has given him supplies and support. I have no place to say, but surely it means he favors Hoshido now more than ever." said Kaze, his own voice low and drawn with exhaustion.

"The exact support he's wanted from me for years. I wouldn't be surprised if he's signing an alliance with King Ryoma now. Gods, and to think he may know the issue of these spies as well," Xander scoffed. "He'd do well to stay in Hoshido for the time being."

"Sire, he left just before I did. I overheard he was going to visit the Ice Tribe." I pressed my chest to the door. Xander let out a sigh.

"Do you know why?"

"Not in the slightest." My grip tightened around the door handle. 

"Silas, you idiot." All the breath was knocked from my lungs. Silas, you idiot.

I took a staggered step from the door.

I could smell the scent of pine and the tints of orange against his fine, silver armor. I felt the tree at my uncathed back and the lips against my neck and if time went backwards, I could hear his voice, serious and passionate as he spoke of a change that needed to be done. A revolution that was bound to occur. 

The Ice Tribe already lost its daughters- it already hated us so why wouldn't he go there for support for some moronic cause? Why wouldn't he garner even more support when he had people, men, women, guards already on his side. He'd told me himself that these people want change, so what would they do if they saw it in him and not I or Xander. They've lost hope in my husband, and I don't have the courage to speak against Garon... not anymore.

So if they saw nothing in us, what would they do if they heard of a revolution?

I took another step back, as if running away would make the problem disappear with me.

"Damn it. Damn it you  _moron_." I dug my claws into the back of my hand. Gods, and I'd let him joke with me about it. More than once I was there as he mentioned it. Every sign of being against Nohr was there and I- I stood by and watched.

My heart began to race. I felt the scales cement around my cheeks. 

And if he was against Nohr- and if he had been given support from Hoshido, then how long could he have been on Ryoma's side before then? I thought he was a friend, an ally, before he asked me if I wanted a damned lover- before I would've said yes- oh gods and what if it was just a ploy to have another spy, close and watching me. What if it were Ryoma himself calling the shots before he left,  _"Don't let her get close with the crown prince. You know him well enough, do what you must to keep her and him from each other."_  And then he feigned innocence when I awoke in his arms,  _"You don't love him, do you?"_  Knowing well when Silas brought me that all hell had broken loose.

There was no other way. Every piece of my mind swooped to demonise him, the suitor who had nearly won my hand long before Kaze and even longer before Xander. The man who's silver armor shimmer just as brightly as his smile. The one, who like so many others I left in Hoshido, followed with a new skin and a new attitude.

Who was next?

The door in front of me squealed open, its screaming echoing through the halls like a banshee as my eyes rose to its opener, but when I met Xander's brown eyes, they didn't fall to me. Their hardened, stiff surface rose far above my head to a place nearly equal to his own height. In my confused, anxious stupor I'd no idea until a foreign, spindley hand had fallen to my shoulder. A spark of electricity shot through me.

"Xander," Came my own voice, speaking without my warrant. I put a hand to my throat. "how cruel of you to leave your  _dear_  wife waiting for you in distress." Horror bloomed in my chest. "I can't believe you would do such a thing to me." My scales rose and bristled at my lack of control over my body. My heart began to race, but before I could utterly spiral out of control, another spark ran through my body, and I was freed.

Without hesitation I ripped myself away from the unknown hand and slammed straight into Xander, my trembling voice, even thicker with the dragon's tongue whispering, "That wasn't me- that wasn't me- gods, what was that." as I scrambled to pushed behind him. He easily shifted me to his back. He threw out an angered hand.

"By the gods, Iago," he snapped, "Father has banned the use of your dark magic. I would've thought the last time you broke one of his rules would've taught you." I rose my eyes to meet the serpent stare of the sorcerer. His eyes flicked to Xander's and he faltered ever so slightly. He let out a nervous chuckle.

"Come now, Prince Xander, I meant no harm. Surely, she was thinking the same thing," he said, opening his palms in a mock show of peace even I could see through. He should keep his smirk in check.

"That does not mean you speak for her. I'll be telling my father in the morning,good evening Iago." Xander turned without a single glance and ushered for me to enter the now empty room. He turned to close the door, but as it came to its close, a foot blocked him. I watched as Xander's jaw tightened. "Yes, Iago?" The man slithered his fingers onto the side of the door and pushed it open just enough for us to see his face. A string of oily hair fell in front of his nose.

"Well, while you're off telling Garon tomorrow, I'll be off telling him tonight of her curious behavior." He hummed. Xander tightened his grip around the handle. He sat a hand at his waist.

"How curious could it be to warrant talking to my father?"

"Let's see, she's nearly turned into that awful demon, she seemed quite distressed in the hall and then, I had caught her eavesdropping not a moment before. Not to mention her life was apparently on the line not half an hour ago." He leaned in. "Tell me, Prince Xander, where did the attacker go, I wonder? Why haven't you filed a report to King Garon?" He flicked his eyes past Xander and scanned the room. "What would be so interesting in an  _empty_  room, that would warrant her interest in eavesdropping?" He smirked and met Xander's gaze. "Sire, if you could answer even one of those questions to me and leave my magic use out of King Garon's ears, I would consider leaving you without a worry."

There was silence, one so thick and so brudding my heart stilled with it, and I wondered in that moment what he was thinking or what I had missed in his conversation with Kaze, because I doubt no paragraph or monologue would be enough to warrant the two he spoke.

"Bring him."

And the door clicked shut. 

And his fate sealed tight.

And Xander turned to me, his hand still tight on the knob of the door. Some form of compassion burned behind his eyes as he left the door, not even bothering to lock it as he approached me. He extended his hand as he came closer.

"Corrin, by the gods, are you-"

"What?" I whispered. My vision blurred as I took a step toward him. My wings widened to their full length. "What?" My voice rose, trembling in the effort to keep from screaming. He lowered his arm, to instead raise his hands. Peace, it said. 

Damn his peace to hell. 

I took a single stomp toward him and felt water splash up my leg and sink against my heel. His eyes flicked down for a single second.

"Corrin, I need you to calm yourself. Please." The worry that flickered behind his eyes only egged me on further. Another step, and I was before him, pushing down his hands and grabbing his cravat. The cape around me fell to the pools of water my feet left behind. 

He didn't fight me, didn't resist a single inch, but instead draped a gentle hand across my own as I wrenched him down to my height. My tongue was sharp with the dragon's as it urged me to speak, but even sharper were my claws as I dug them into the fabric of his clothes. Our eyes, so different in their intensity met. 

I felt like a flame going up against a pitcher of water, and with his gentle hand that didn't even attempt to rip me away from him, or the eyes, holding not a single ounce of hate nor challenge, ones that nearly urged me to try something because he was willing- horrifyingly willing to take it- he threw that entire of pitcher onto my flame before I even had time to scream and kick my way to his brain.

My eyes burned in throbbing waves as my grip loosened. He moved to support my elbows as my knees slowly gave out, and he gently lowered me to the floor.

"Corrin," he uttered, trying his best to meet my height. He moved a hand to my scaly neck, and was unwavering to their feeling. "It has to be done." My claws dug into the skin of my hand. 

I wonder if this is how he felt some days. Like he was ready to rip out his very soul if it meant he could feel relief from the hopelessness.

"Hoshido brings war with these accusations. He's accepted meeting King Garon, Corrin, he's told me himself. He's ready," his fingers swept the hair from my face. My heart, beating and wrenching stilled. I rose my eyes to meet him as a numbness washed over me. A smile, soft, and unstable, crossed my face as I took his hand. I lowered my voice to nothing but a whisper as I felt every inch of myself crack under the weight of the dragon.

"What do you know?" My claws dug into my cheek as I ripped his hand away from me. Tears boomed forth from my eyes just as fast as I rose to my feet. 

I spun around, searching for Kaze's hiding spot as desperately as a woman searching for water in a desert. My own tiny pool of water sloshed about my ankles when I returned my harsh, rekindled gaze back to Xander.  

What did he know? What did he know when he's condemned a man without a single thought? He doesn't know anything- how dare he even think he did and then come here and try to comfort me, of all people, when he doesn't even extend a single hand to Kaze. 

I bore my teeth and with an nonconsensual flick of my tail, I threw my arms back and let out a laugh, teeming with madness as the dragon's voice overrode my own, it's distortion and anger becoming more prevalent then my own, horrified, scared whisper, so much so it boomed across the room.

"What do you know?!" It screamed. "What do you know when you've condemned him?!" Xander stayed down, watching me with calculating eyes as I stumbled away from him and slammed into the wall across from him. The only bit of me that had any sense knew it would be wise to stay, far, far away before I gave into the urge to rampage- to destroy. So I did it to myself instead. I scratched at my hands, making deep cuts and lines without a care as I rose my shoulders. Kaze appeared with a wisp of air in the corner of my eye.

"Milady-"

"Shut up!" It bellowed, cutting Kaze off the second my name flitted past his lips. "What right to you have to accept this-" I pointed a grotesque finger to Xander. "He's saved you before, make him save you again-"

"Milady, listen to me, we have a plan-"

"It isn't a plan if you're ready to die," I cried. His eyes crinkled with sincerity, he placed a hand onto his chest.

"Corrin," he snapped, his calm facade breaking for a single second at the slip of my title, "I must be prepared for my fate, just as Lord Xander is prepared of his." He tightened his jaw. "He could lose his crown for speaking with me, and he could very well lose his life." His eyes flicked across me with a worry that once again broke past him. 

He balled up his hands, and I finally saw the stiffness in his shoulders- the unbridled nervousness that creased his eyes. And in those eyes I saw not my reflection, but a dragon, claws raised, boney jaw opened as it moved to kill.

I took a step back and shook my head in disbelief as some semblance of my mind begged me to gain control.  _Stop this, Corrin. Calm down, Corrin. Please, calm down, it hurts so much._ I looked to Xander, my last hope of gaining control as my hand gripped my pendant.  _Rip it off. Rip it off, show him how much he doesn't know._ My chest heaved with breath as he carefully rose to his feet. My fingers tightened around it.

"What right to you have to condemn him?" I whispered. The dragon fell from my voice as he approached me. "What right do you have to let him accept this?" I asked, pressing myself against the wall. "What right when he isn't the only one involved, when he is the one who deserves it the least?" 

"Little Princess." He uttered those sacred word as though it were the last string holding me together. It may have been. I let out a shallow breath and motioned to Kaze.

"Why him when Camilla is just as guilty for being told of a man who needed to see me? She didn't tell you, did you know that?" I uttered as he inched closer, unwavering. "She didn't tell you because she knew something was wrong with this." A flitting laugh escaped my lips. "And what of her butler who told her?" I asked, bunching up my dress as my lungs grew tighter. "He no doubt saw Kaze, or his disguise. What about him for slacking on his duties?" His steps echoed through the dim room as he grew closer, and closer, never once showing a sign of faltering before me. The breath caught in my throat as I pressed my hands, bleeding a clear, watery blood to the wall. "What about Silas? He's starting a revolution, Xander. He told me himself, and I never told you." I pressed a hand to my chest. My own blood wet the fabrics. "What about me? I knew all of these things and never told you, why don't you condemn me as well?" I dug my claws into the raw, bleeding skin of my palm and leaned away from him as he stopped, inches from me. "Why won't you condemn me as well!? You can't just pick an chose who is guilty and who isn't, Xander! Everyone here is, and you damn well know it! You, me, Camilla. Every. Single. One. An you have no damned right to-" My voice cracked as he took my bleeding hands. Delicately, he sat them over his heart. 

It was strong, unreasonably fast, and I couldn't help but notice how loose his hands were around me. One move and I would be free, back to spouting my truths. One sign of resistance and I would be released, and that racing heart would be gone as my source of stability.

He put my palm flat across his chest, and didn't flinch at the clear blood that wet his shirt. His fingers didn't falter at the scales at my hand, even as they subtly stroked my knuckles. 

"Why him?" I asked. My wings folded against my arms. "Why him and not everyone else?" He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Because I didn't know." He took in a deep breath and lowered his head, ever so slightly. His crown had never looked so heavy. "I didn't know until now."

And with those five little words, I understood that I had condemned him just as I had all those I mentioned. In saving one life, I put three- no, I put four more on the line, and if not four, I put a crown upon my bet. Both my own and Xander's.

And it became all the more a reality when the door squealed the coming of a hurricane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist, I am the one opening the door to bring you more angst because I am the true evil in this story.
> 
> Anyways, so I mentioned in the last author's note that I was editing the story's early chapters, and first I'd just like to bring to light that the major, major edits, like the meat of what's going on, will all be updated all in one go. So, the big major changes will be going live in the future. I'm still working on chapter one (I'm horribly slow, I know, but my next break from school I'll be picking it up) and I have done a few minor changes with terms and spellings across the board that have been updated. So, yeah, the big edit will be finalized in a few months. 
> 
> On the sort of same topic of editing and that first chapter, can I just apologise for how... uh... rough a majority of this story is? Because hoo-boy, that first chapter is definitely the first chapter... But, I'd still like to say that I am proud of myself since there are just... bounds of improvements that have been made since then, and as I totally didn't say that to segway, I'm still very eager to improve. So, I guess I'm asking for a critique if you would be willing to offer one. 
> 
> What are my strengths; my weaknesses? What do I need to improve on most and what things do you suggest I do differently? Things like that. Be as harsh as you need and thank you in advance! I know I have a long way to go, but I'm more than willing to get there.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and I hope you all have a wonderful day!!!


	19. The Start of a General

There was no wisp of air that whispered the leave of Kaze. There was no warning of Garon's entrance, and there was no racing heart to steady me. When Garon had entered the room, all sense of stability fled from my veins, the the only ground I had to stand on left the moment Xander turned around to face the trio of men before us, and when the door clicked shut, instead of a lasting, burn of panic, an eerie numbness washed over me.

I felt the water that pooled soley about my ankles rise and flicker, as though the amalgamation struggled to to remain visible, and felt the scales at my neck bristle before laying flat and hard across my jaw. Something in my mind clicked, something primal but so... so warm turned on and overrode every human sense, but it wasn't a rampage. Yet, it wasn't normal either.

When I looked to my hands, fully unaware to what was going on around me besides the click and lock of the door, I still saw only my hands, though grotesque and elongated. Even when I took a curious, numb-feeling touch to my face I still felt the bump of that small nose; I still felt the ridges of an almost normal human face, yet my mind had shifted all the same. 

It was a comforting feeling that even my pendant couldn't rival... It was as though the dragon itself had squirmed free from its dark cavern to take control of only my body, and it took me softly. 

Its touch urged me into its place of respite and for a moment, a soft, languid moment some part of me truly, truly gave in and fell into its pull under the one condition it full heartedly agreed to. 

To protect Xander and Kaze before anything else.

Funnily enough... the dragon seemed to prefer Xander over all others. Maybe, if I had the mind to truly think, I'd have compared it more intently to something like an animal protecting its mate rather than having its idea wash over me in faint afterthought.

 

Xander reached behind himself and wrapped a protective hand around my wrist. He moved to Kaze, and hastily put an arm in front of him. Kaze wasted no time in dropping to his hands and feet- a bow so low he put even beggars to shame.

But, the tiny piece of me that remained, the small speck of myself I kept briddled as to be sure the dragon didn't simply rip off my pendant and destroy all in the name of these two men, held on, and relished in the distorted warmth that radiated from Xander's hand before I let the dragon do what I entrusted it with.

"Father," Xander rasped. His voice was stable, but I knew, from the endless re-adjusting grip, that there was an earthquake rattling in him. "if you would stay calm, I will dutifully explain what is going on. I only ask you refrain from anything rash."

Without much though, I put my free hand over his in the most gentle fashion I could manage in such a state. My body shook from the nerves that prickled in my chest. He threw me a curious glance over his shoulder before hastily whipping back around to his father.

The king, hidden from my view thanks to Xander, took a step forward. The stench of alcohol, dimmed cologne, and rotten breath moved closer. Such a step counted as too much movement for me to allow. I stroked a single finger across Xander's knuckles. 

_I won't let him hurt you._

But I wasn't quite sure I said anything.

I slipped free from his hand with ease, and pushed aside the arm that hung in front of Kaze's imobile form. I stepped around him and widened my wings, the span, longer now from the sheer intensity of this new mutt transformation, easily made a bigger point than Xander's arm ever could. They might have well had the words, "Don't come close," in red across them. But it was the tail that mindlessly wrapped around his calf that specified who exactly to stay the farthest from.

My eyes locked directly onto Garon's.

Xander's leg tensed. "What are you doing?" he whispered close against my ear. I felt his hand slither under my wing to take my hand. "I can handle this, please,  _please_ , just let me handle this." Desperation strung his voice. His fingers raked across a group of well-cemented scales. "Don't do this to m-" 

An arrogant, guffaw left the thin lips of Garon and silenced Xander with a jolt. "Well, by the gods," he announced, his eyes crinkling with a mocking amusement, "Are you so shameful now of your guilt Xander that you allow  _her_  of all people to protect you?"His eyes, dark and jaded by years of practice turned cold when they flicked to the space beside me. There wasn't a hint of affection in his gaze. My tail tightened around his calf.

"He is not guilty," I hissed just as Xander began to speak. My voice was deep, and graveled as though every word was a growl. "You have no right to even assume it."

A small puff of air left Iago's lips as he moved to Garon's side. The snake put a hand out toward Kaze and I lowered a wing to shield even more of him. No one in this room would dare to even look at these two whilst I was near.

Iago retracted his hand in disappointment, and let out a coy sneer, "Your majesty, there is no doubt in my mind that the crown prince was conspiring with that man. I witness Lady Corrin eavesdropping outside, matter of fact." His lips curled to his ear. "Plus," He rolled his eyes to Xander, "we must not forget that, though it is shocking to see this intruder back in our walls, we cannot deny that Prince Xander has helped him before. He... ah, what was it?" He tapped his lip. "Milord, what was it you had done to save this man before?"

His fingers twitched against mine. "I prevented a war," His hand left mine. "but that doesn't matter now."

"No," Garon agreed. "It doesn't." His eyes flicked to Kaze with a speculated interest, before switching back to Xander. "Corrin, you admit that Xander was speaking with Kaze, who we can assume was the man who whisked you off and interrupted my announcement?" 

I felt Xander leaned closer to me. "She was-"

"I'm not asking you." Garon snapped. He flexed his jaw as he dulled out a long, haughty stare to him before rolling his attention back to me. "He was speaking with Kaze?" 

Xander leaned even closer. His hand slipped up to cradle my elbow. His breath was hot against my ear as he spoke, low and quiet, "Don't be scared, I'm here. Tell him I was. Tell him the truth. I can fill in the rest. I have this under control-"

"Xander!" Garon bellowed. Xander instantly moved away from me. To be fair, how did he ever think whispering directly in my ear would look inconspicuous? Still, they were words I hardly cared for once Garon proved that he, in fact, had nothing under control. "Speak one more work in her stead," he warned. "Corrin. Come here so he may not pollute you."

I didn't budge, even when Xander let go of my hand, even when he hastily attempted to shake my tail from him in attempt to shoo me away to the king. I only strung myself tighter around him as the dragon's primal instincts held far more weight than a king's words.

Quietly I growled into the hatred that was Garon, "I had spoken with Kaze long before Xander did." A small, infantile breath of air hit the back of my neck, but the utter agony that laced it was enough to break even the coldest of hearts. Whatever plan he and Kaze had, I was no doubt unhinging it with every moment I lived.

Garon perked a haughty grin. "Really? Then why don't you tell me  _exactly_  what that man had said, and why I shouldn't just kill him on spot?" He took in a breath. "No, I have an even better proposal. Considering our bargain, and the fact that, since my son had to so graciously saved him once, I'd force him to kill our intruder,  you should explain to me why I shouldn't test out your abilities before the journey to the Ice Tribe on this little whelp?"

And just like that, every eye of Hoshido turned to me- and just like that, I felt something in the man behind me crackle and begin to snap.

"No." Xander uttered before the dragon had even enough time to allow my emotions to weigh in on the idea of killing Kaze with my own bare hands.

"No?"

Xander ripped his leg from my confines and stepped in front of me. "No." He uttered. "You can't do this, Father. You can't make her do something like this." He balled his fists. "You don't want me to speak for her, well she's speaking for Kaze now." He let out a stream of air. "She didn't come all the way from Hoshido with this information."He threw out a pointing finger to the still bowing Kaze beside us. "He did. And none of of us have any right to say it in a way that he could explain better." Kaze pressed his hands hard against the marble of the floor.

Garon's eyes hardened and he stepped in front of Xander. It took the yell of my drowning self to keep from giving into the dragon's urge to yank him back and go forth scratching at the king. Free from the morals of my normal self it was almost a natural mindset to think and yearn for the feeling of his skin ripping under my fingers. Desperately I wanted to rip him apart, I wanted to mark his back until he was nothing but a spine that smelled as wretched as his heart. I wanted him to pay for what he'd done to Xander; what he'd done to me.

I wanted to utterly destroy him and all those who had ever let me down.

My fingers rose to my pendant and tugged a slow rhythm against it, allowing the metal lace to dig into the back of my neck and slacken before going at it once more.

"You make a point," Garon admitted gruffly. "Bring the whelp to me."

I only knew my fingers had seized Xander's arm when in the corner of my lowered eyes did I see Xander twist around to face me. I slowly rose my eyes to meet his.

"No." I whispered. I flicked my eyes to look to Garon, eyeing me curiously over his nose. "You won't touch either of them," I warned. Xander put a hand over mine.

"I  _need_  you to calm down," he uttered. "This is too much. You've gone too far-" I met his eye with little remorse.

"You won't touch him either," I announced, voice strong and quiet with my mother's authoritative tone. His jaw tightened. He gently wrapped his hand around my wrist and tried with the best of his ability to coax me from my iron-grip. It was only the twitch of his face, flickering momentarily with pain did I let go, realising I had dug my claws into his flesh. I hastily retreated and took a small step away. 

"Can you even control her?" Came Iago's slithering voice, refueled with confidence. "My king, surely now would be the time to allow my special use of magic? I could very easily make her less of a threat to you."

Garon's eyes darkened. "No," he mussed, "I'm quite interested to see where this will go." He turned to Xander. "By all means, allow her to descend further into this. If she becomes an issue I hope I can trust that you could handle her?"

A steady stream of air blew past Xander's lips. He offered no comment and only moved to Kaze. I stayed closed to his side, acting more as a shadow that dared him to harm the kneeling man before him. Though, he hardly noticed my almost predatory closeness. 

It was upsetting how he could be both an ally and an enemy all at once, and how no human doubt could confirm either of the options. So many of the strings that held my non-draconic instincts at bay had snapped since I first subtly handed off the control. Countless ties and feelings had been severed in the name of the animalistic instincts that all hungered for blood, dominance, and control, and the aspect of it all scared that dimming part of human in me, because even it agreed, if only a little, that I had wanted those things for a very long time without ever acknowledging it.

Xander politely ordered Kaze to his feet. My retainer didn't spare me a single glance, whether I be too painful to look at, or too terrifying to comprehend. It didn't matter to me in my current state. 

But, did anything matter at this point?

Did the confident, unfearing way Kaze moved towards his demise matter? Did Xander's remorse that shown only when he turned from Garon matter? Or did the words Kaze spoke, light, serious, and filled with a feeling of life I'd heard in him only once matter? 

Why should I care that Garon's anger was as palpable as my numbness or how indifferent Gunter was to such news. Why should I care that Xander dug his nails deep into the wounds I gave him, or that Iago eyed him with the most suspicion I'd ever seen on a person as Kaze slowly, horribly slowly finished speaking of the spies. 

But why was it that when Garon reached forward and grasped him by the collar of his fine tailored armor and undershirt did I finally break free and care? Why did that  _matter_.

With a cry of rage I sprung forward, pushing the wall that was Xander away with ease to scramble and rip Kaze from Garon's grasps. Like a ragdoll the man skidded across the floor, and like the porcelain demon that hung far above the throne room, Garon's gaze was harsh- no, burning. 

I wasn't sure what my plan was, because that tiny, human bit of me, held together by hardly three strings, screamed for me to not harm the king. 

It didn't matter anyways.

Before I had even the chance to roar or swipe at him, I was wrenched backwards just in time to miss Garon's punch. 

"Corrin!" Xander yelled as he drug my kicking and screaming for backward. He pressed me hard against his chest, and restrained my arms against my stomach. "Calm down." He hissed as I squirmed in his grasp. "I'm not letting you go-" It was too easy the way I broke from his grasp. It was so... so startlingly easy that I could overpower him just enough to escape. 

Was this what it was like to be powerful?

I let out a cry, some garbled mess of, "Don't touch him," and "Get away from him," as I rushed forward.

 _Snap._  Went my string as Garon's second punch hit, clocking me hard against the cheek with enough force to knock me to the floor. And when I fell, I fell hard. My chest slammed against the ground and all the air left my lungs. My head bashed against the reflective marble and landed just next to Garon's shimmering boot. With that single, unrelenting hit, I was reduced to a gasping, mind-numbed nothingness on the floor as he pressed his foot between my wings as though I were some prize after a hunting trip.

He ground the cold, metal heel of his shoe into my back, every twist of his ankle forcing a ringing in my ears that grew louder with every moment.

"Father, wait, stop, let me-"

"Quiet," he bellowed.

"No-" Xander challenged. Garon pressed hard into my back, and I felt my ribs press painfully hard against the cold marble floor. A choked whimper coughed from my throat.

"You will stay silent, or I'll break her in half right here. Do you understand me?" He growled. I let out a sharp cry as he pressed even harder into me. "Tell me you understand."

"I understand," Xander whispered, his voice shaking with intensity. A low rumble left the king's throat.

"Wonderful." He removed his foot entirely. I sucked in a lungful of unsatisfying air and floundered about on the floor like the helpless whelp I was. All these powers and tricks and all i could do was manage to push away Xander once again, and be helpless against Garon.

He thread his fingers with my hair, and pulled me onto my knees. I didn't have the energy to cry out this time, even when I felt strands of my silver hair snap against the force of his grip. He yanked my head backwards, and I found myself eye-to-eye with him as he knelt down. 

He readjusted his grip and leaned in close to my face. He blew a puff of foul smelling air into my face. I nearly gagged at it's scent. Like rotted meat and decay. If I looked closer I'd see maggots squirming their way into the meat of his cheeks. 

He grit his browning teeth and narrowed those cold eyes at me. My widened, but equally emotionless eyes stared him back as I dumbly wondered if he'd ever seen warmth in his life.

I could feel my own fingers plucking at the final two strings of my sanity, and they'd played a beautifully cruel theme. 

"Tell me, princess, what parts of your working mind decided it a good idea to try and attack me?"

 _Pluck. Pluck. Pluck._  I wonder if Xander would like the song. It was so pretty...

I felt my neck snap under Garon's harsh tug. What would it feel like? "Answer me." 

I was supposed to be paying attention wasn't I? 

"I'm not sure," I uttered, closing my eyes as the single candle grew and exploded into an inferno. Its heat licked my skin, its fire burned my skin to a crisp as I embraced its searing pain. 

I felt a hard slap across my face and heard a hiss from across the room. I was pulled from my fire and opened my eyes to be faced with a single... normal candle.

"Pay attention you wench," Garon hissed.

"Father please," Xander pleaded. "Something isn't right- Leave her be."

"What-" The word cut through the air. "-did I say about what would happen if you didn't stay quiet, Xander." 

A sharp intake of air. "No- no-no, I didn't mean- I-" I felt Garon take my finger and raise it. I didn't even struggle. Should I? "Father-" He pressed against it, pushing it hard to one side of my hand until there was enough resistance to snap it.

A low, mocking sneer escaped Garon's throat and he let go of my hand. It fell limply to my side. My only indicator that I had returned unscathed was Xander's choked sigh of relief.

"If you say another word, I'll be sure that you are the one to break her."

How would it feel to have those strong... comforting arms be the ones that ruined me? I could feel it, the tingle in my spine as he snapped me in two, the rumble of my arms as they were taken from my body, the stretch and pull of my mind as my neck-

 _Snap._  

The song that trickled and pricked about in my mind was reduced to a single, lone string.

"Milord, if I may have a word," Came Gunter's bland voice. He definitely did not go with the song. I let out a low groan, garbled and strained by my craning neck. How easy my final string could go around it and end me.

"What is it?" Garon growled. 

"I think Lord Xander is right. Look at her, she's more dragon than human. Surly that can go with the workings of her mind now as well," he reasoned. "I understand fully this... thing, tried to attack you, but if you are punishing Lady Corrin over what is happening without her control, you would be doing her an injustice."

It was so hard to think, every feeling was enhanced to their max, so much so I could feel the grain of the marble without even moving a finger, its cold, secretly rough texture new and odd as the languid and choked breaths of the men around the room assaulted my ears. The water at my feet trickled and dripped small puddles around me, all surrounding a central lake. Small beads of the ethereal substance rose around me, before evaporating into nothing.

I wonder if I could drown in it.

"Do you know how her transformations work, Gunter?"

"I... I do not."

"Then how would you know that she isn't fully in control right now? For my own safety, I will try her as though she has no scales and be sure I understand exactly why this whelp would attempt to lash out against me."

Gunter let out an abohrent puff of air. "Forgive me, my king, but you can't act as though those- those things aren't there! Look at her feet for the gods' sake, she's producing water out of thin air and has no tome to speak of. Her new appearance has everything to do with her actions- you cannot possibly-" Garon raised his hand, and like a switch, gunter was turned silent. 

"Iago," he called, "You are the only one in this room with no relation with Corrin. So, what would you have me do? Continue, or let her go."

"Continue of course, Milord." Iago moved closer to us. "Would you not kill a dog who'd gone insane? Would you allow a once harmless insect burrow into your flesh? Being of not the right mind is the exact reason you should continue. You must find the very reasons why, Milord." In the corner of my eye I watched as he placed a hand over his nonexistent heart. "Because unlike these.. heathens, I absolutely worry for your well being, and  _I_  know that this girl is, without a doubt, a danger to you."

Garon let out a deep hum in agreement. "Yes, I agree." He tightened his grip on my hair. "Truly, I think she should atone for not only her crimes but the intruder's as well if she was so protective of him that she'd try to kill me. Tell me Corrin, why should I allow that man to live when he could no doubt be one of the spies he's warned me of, and why should I trust you and not take you down to the dungeons this instant?" He put a hand at the curve of my back as he pulled me back, straining my neck so much I had to keep my mouth open as to not lose my jaw. I let out a strangled breath and moved a hand to his wrist, but I didn't have the strength to dig my claws into him. "No," Garon uttered. "Tell my why you're so intent on keeping some messenger you nearly killed, from me?" His lips quirked upwards. "You're too simple a woman to just care so deeply for a nobody."

He slid his hand up to my neck, and placed the slightest amount of pressure to my jugular. His eyes flicked to the side of my neck. A small huff of amusement left his lips.

"Or maybe, because this man was no doubt the one who hauled you off, you were simply so unsatisfied by Xander that you'd turn to a thrillseeker wanting to have a moment of pleasure with a monster and you'd love to keep your new plaything alive."

"No," I whispered. He pressed down just a bit harder.

"Then why is it you'd attack me over a worthless messenger?"

My fingers stilled at their plucking. The song that tinkled in my mind stilled. There was nothing in my mind, not a word, nor song, not a thought nor idea, nothing that could dare give him the answer he wanted without breaking a lie we'd almost successfully gotten away with. The mind power was too much for the dragon, and the quick thinking required was too much for the human, so I was left in the middle of this crisis, silent and choking as his fingers pressed harder, and harder- as his eyes turned harder and harder- as Xander's breaths grew faster and faster.

"Corrin-" he whispered under his breath, my hearing enhanced so much so now I could clearly hear what no one else could; my heart so attuned I could clearly hear the mind breaking agony behind him. I heard the shift of his shoes, the hitch of his breath when my own grew faint. I could feel his very heart racing against mine as sparks and splotches flew behind my eyes.

Was this what it felt like that night in the woods? Did this drowning, numbness flit across his hands as he clawed at his father's hands? Did his mind blanken and darken in time with his own pulse- or was it something different? Was the fight in him that night different? Or did all these feelings and lack thereof only show after, when his hands were broken, and his cries echoed on the wind like a lullaby?

I wish I knew.

I wish... I wish he would press harder. I wanted him to. I wanted to feel what it was like to be tortured by this man like this. I wanted to die, in some... small little way; I couldn't help my curiosity. 

Would there be nothing like the Nohrians believed? I'd snap free from existence as though I never was, and have the gods cackle at their mortals dreams of the afterlife or would my fate align with Hoshido's: Where damnation and joy align with the amount of gifts offered upon a bed of water? 

If it did how much respect would I be given? Surely, from my mother's station she sits happily at the very peak of joy with all her gifts and wishes put at her feet, but me, would I be given a single flower for anything?

Would it be only Xander to lay a rose upon the lake and leave with his sister just behind him. Thinking, thinking, why the girl who never tried to be friend worth having should be honored and given joy after her death.

I let out a thin breath and let my hand rest on my stomach.

He wouldn't kill me. I was too useful for him. But he'd choke me until I wish I were- until my final string snapped between his knife like fingers.

"I was her retainer." A voice, faint and muffled cried. "I was her retainer."

An explosion rattled in my mind as Garon's hands left my throat. I arched my back and gasped desperately for air. I chocked on its sweet taste, drowned in its fresh feeling. My senses, hushed by Garon's fingers hissed back to life with a cold refrain that chilled every inch of my trembling form. My hand flew up to my neck and held it as though I were fragile enough to shatter.

"Xander. You never told me this. Speak." Garon's voice was devoid of any emotion. Any telltale sign that he was angered or indifferent were hidden behind his thick veil of stone.

"I lied to you, father," Xander admitted, his own monotone rivaling his father's. HIs grip tightened in my hair and my throat cackled out a gasp. I reached a hand back to hold my scalp, fearful he'd rip it off if he had the chance. "But it was lie that hardly matters now."

A teeth squeaking grit of teeth resounded from Garon's mouth. "You think lying to your king, doesn't matter?"

"No," Xander breathed, "that isn't what I'm saying. I'm saying it-"

"NO!" He bellowed. He threw me aside and I smacked against the ground. Iago let out a sneering chortle above me. I rose onto my elbows and watched as Garon marched to Xander, steam billowing from his ears. "No." His voice shook as he stood before Xander. "I'm sick of this. I'm sick of your lies and your secrets." He wrenched his arm and yanked him forward. "It's been years of this Xander, you keeping things from me- Saving prisoners, feeding Sumeragi, betraying me, your mothers- everyone you can't handle-"

Xander's brows furrowed in sincerity and utter confusion. "I've never betrayed you- I've never-"

"BE SILENT!" He screamed, digging his nails into Xander's elbow and twisting. Xander grit his teeth, but didn't make a single sound. My wings widened around me, and a hand seized my arm.

"Don't move an inch," Gunter warned into my ear.

Garon yanked Xander to his knees.

"Bow your head."

"Father-"

"I am your king, not your father boy. Now bow before I put your there myself." 

What was happening? What was he doing?

"Please- I swear to you, I've never betrayed you! I've lied, I've gone against your word but I have never betrayed you!" Xander clenched his hands together in a white knuckle grip. HIs circlet shimmered in the candle light. "I am a loyal prince, my king, I swear to you! I would die for my country, for you, if it meant you'd be safe. My blood stains these lands, my soul is tied to it- Father- My king, please understand I would  _never_  do anything that would go against the crown-"

"BOW YOUR HEAD."

"No! Listen to me, for once in your life, listen to me," Xander yelled, daring to rise ot his feet. Garon slammed him back down. "Listen to me!" He bellowed like a child desperate for attention. Decades washed from his features, and suddenly there was a child, no older than fifteen, scared but as loyal as an elderly soldier as they stared their father dead in the eye. His chest heaved with breath as his eyes twitched against the scrutiny of the king he silenced for the first time in his life. "I've lied to you," He said, voice strong with authority. "I've lied about soldiers I've killed, I've lied about documents I've signed, I've lied about supplies that you told me not to send. I've  _lied_." HIs voice shattered as he gripped the cords of his uniform. "I've helped the innocent people you wanted me to murder. I've done the work you refuse to do. I've raised the children you couldn't, and I've made this kingdom better. I am entwined with this kingdom, father, it's winds are my heartbeat, it's rivers are my tears, it's people my blood, it's bleakness the inspiration that makes me strive to live because I know I can make it brighter." His hands trembled against themselves for a single beat before he tightened his grip."I am a loyal prince who has lied and gone against your word but I have never,  _never_  betrayed you. Your path is the one I follow, no matter where it leads me." His eyes flicked across Garon's face in desperation, in search for some light, before he slowly, slowly bowed his head.

Garon didn't hesitate.

"Crown Prince Xander of Nohr, I hereby remove you of your title in this kingdom on the circumstances of your crimes to the throne." Xander let out a quick breath. "My suspicions of spying, your time conversing behind my back over matters in relation to a war with Hoshido, your countless lies and the utter disrespect you have shown to me and your kingdom, all have led me to this inevitable decision. For the time being, your station in military efforts will remain under the condition that a second general of now equal rank oversees you. You are restricted from the dungeons, the throne room and the royal hall from this day forth unless you have been given permission by those with their title still intact." Garon leaned over Xander. "Princess Corrin thus, is a Hoshidan Princess only, no longer a consort to what is now, Crown Princess Camilla's title. Corrin's marriage to you will be put into consideration for an annulment due to the reasons of the arrangement, but with either situation she will remain here. Any further crimes by you, General Xander, will have you fined, stripped of title once again, and removed from castle Krakenburg." Garon wrapped his finger around the black circlet nestled in his sunflower locks, "As of today, you are no longer my son, and no longer my heir," he uttered, plucking the crown from Xander's head and throwing it behind him. The tangled metal skipped across the floor and landed by my hands.

_Snap._

But it was the dragon's control that cut. Holding tight to my final string and returning to my lack of stability, everything lessened. My senses returned to their normal state, the scales that cemented my body eased, ever so slightly and the pressure pounding in my head dissipated to nothing but a dull throb, and I was left, leaned forward with my arm held by Gunter, staring in utter disbelief at the man before me- staring at his wide, unbelieving eyes, and his quaking hands.

My free hand gripped the cold metal of his masterless crown, as tears and utter panic rummaged through my chest, and it begged- no it wailed and screamed, kicking and scratching like I had been unable, to to get up and act. To save him and his crown. To make his loyalty for all these years and the mangled scars upon his back worth having because I can't imagine still living in the world that had just crumbled before his very eyes.

"No," I growled, voice free from the dragon's distortion. I shifted onto my knees and twisted my arm in Gunter's grasp. "No, you can't do that to him." My voice was thick with my tongue. "You have no right." 

"Corrin," Xander uttered softly.HIs tired, broken pieces rattled with his every word. "Leave it be." He didn't meet my eyes as he remained there, imobile and still on his knees as though the gods themselves had demanded him to- as though his life depended on his loyalty.

I grit my sharpened teeth. "No!"I yelled. I squirmed in Gunter's grasp. He seized my second arm and twisted the skin painfully.

"Shut up, stupid girl!" He hissed. "Stay down. Stop fighting."

"No!" I screamed. I narrowed my eyes at Garon's back. "You will face me. You  _will_  face me when I'm speaking to you!" I cried as flaming tears welled up in my eyes. He let out a thick, low chortle as he turned to me, meeting my eye with little interest. I mustered up as much saliva as I could manage, and spat towards him. The little wad landed hardly a foot from where I sat, but it made my point either way. 

Now he was interested. 

"You will face me, and you will listen," I growled as he grew near.

"Gunter, unhand her," Garon ordered, his hard gaze never leaving mine. Gunter's bruising grip left me, and, though I wish I could, I didn't have the strength to rise to my feet. Being even on my knees made my legs quiver with effort.

"You have no right to do this, you bastard!" I yelled as I bunched up my dress. "He's done everything for you!" I scooted towards him, unfazed by his booming steps that stalked to me. "I've seen it," I tapped my hand rapidly to my chest, "I've seen it! I've seen him at that desk, signing and doing all the work you refuse to do as you sit in your damned throne. 'look at me I'm the king, let me ruin your lives and kill your children because I'm a damn saint who hasn't done anything right in decades!'" 

"Corrin-" Xander tried to warn, but I didn't listen. I didn't care; he didn't have to defend himself anymore because I was taking up that job. 

"I understand my country ruined yours! I understand my mother and brother did horrible things to you, but you never,  _never_  attempted to help the people that still bothered to listen to you- but," My voice trembled as I pointed to Xander, "He did." Garon reached down for my face, and I scrambled away from him, bumping into Gunter and Iago as I moved to press myself against the wall- to corner myself. "He did!" I cried. "He doesn't deserve this! Not after you've beaten him senseless; not after you insult him; not after you strangle him to his breaking point-" I looked up to the ceiling as my hysteria began to crescendo. "Let all the spies know this man beats his son! Let them know he is monster and a villain with no heart to speak of!" I bellowed.

I pressed my head hard against the wall as he reached for me. His fingers locked around my jaw and his eyes- those dead, glaring eyes dared me to say another word. His grip was trembling, as though it was hard to restrain from crushing me.

I swallowed down my fears, I swallowed down my heart my, my soul, every inch of my that could come into contact with the words I was going to speak- that someone was going to speak eventually. My voice fell to a trembling whisper.

"Why him and not his sister?" I asked as my heart burned. "Why is he singled out when she's no doubt known of what he's been doing as long as he's been doing it? What about the fact she told me to meet some man a week ago today, and that that man turned out to be Kaze? Why is she exempt for her lack of foresight?" My voice quivered as it grew louder. "Why not the butler who saw that man and took his message and gave it to Camilla. Why doesn't he lose his job?" My hands wrapped around his wrists desperately. Tears leaked from my eyes as I sucked in a short breath. "Why not Silas when he's known that Kaze was my retainer his whole life?" My voice rose to an unstable yell, "Why not him when he's starting a revolution with land under your control!? Why not him when he's no doubt travelling to the Ice Tribe for more support!?" I let out a sob and pressed a hand to my chest. "Why not me when I knew all these things and never told you?! Why not me when I smuggled things across the border?! Why won't you strip me of my title when I've done worse things than Xander for no other reason than because I hate you!" My voice turned to a shrill scream. "I knew about the tunnels and didn't tell you! I knew about Jakob! I was the one to put the fake seal on the letter Silas forged! I am a child of Hoshido who has attacked you- I am a monster who would kill you- TAKE MY TITLE!" I sobbed. I reached up to my circlet and yanked at it relentlessly, but it was stuck at my horns. Stuck and unmoving. "Take my title because Ryoma told me of spies the day I left, and I never bother to tell you. Take mine, not his- not his because he's tried to make his kingdom a better place- not his because he didn't know of any of the spies until today-" I let out a shallow breath. "Take mine because I am not fit to be a princess, and give it to him because he is a more fit king than you ever will be-"

He slapped me hard across the face. 

Once. 

 

Twice. 

 

 

A third. 

 

 

 

A fourth. 

 

 

 

 

A fifth- 

 

Gasping.

Sobbing.

Throbbing.

There was a muffled something I couldn't bother to pay attention to as he rose his hand for a sixth, beating out every sign of disrespect in me until I was nothing in his tight-fingered grasp- until he let me go and my only consolation was the cold floor against my swelling, bleeding cheek.

Garon spat, landing a mixture of yellowed grime into my hair, without a second glance. 

"Thank you for your information, Princess." He kicked a piece of my hair off his boot as he rose to his full height. My eyes rolled lazily to look across the room. Blurred blotches of silver and black were all I could see past my tears. "Gunter-" I let out a soft breath, and closed my throbbing eyes. "-take the intruder to the dungeons, have him ready for the gallows by morning's light and be sure  _no one_  knows of his execution until it is over. We've been embarrassed once, we need not go through it again."

 _No, stop, wait- I can vouch for him- Take me instead- He doesn't deserve this please- Please-_  

"Corrin, order him to answer our questions," Garon demanded.

"No!" Kaze cut in. Desperation and utter disbelief laced his voice tighter with every word. "She doesn't need to order me, I'll answer them- please, I'll answer them without argument." He cleared his throat roughly and let out a quick breath. "I- I am loyal to her ideals. If she is under Nohr, then I will be as well- for however long I am needed."

"And this is exactly why we can't trust him, my king," Iago muttered. His footsteps tapped past me; the cool air from his movement washed nicely across my burning face. "He must be loyal to your crown and not hers. She is still, without a doubt, a Hoshidan, just like him. And if he can so easily abandon a crown he served under his whole life, we can't begin to trust him." He snickered. "I full heartedly agree with your choice of what to do with him, Milord."

"I am not Hoshidan." I whispered. 

"What?" Iago uttered in confusion. "What did she say?" Footsteps pattered  as the trio gathered around me. 

There was no hesitation in my voice, not a doubt in my mind that this was the right thing to do- that this could save the man I once loved- the man I couldn't lose. "I am not Hoshidan," I rapsed. I cracked open my eyes and rose onto an elbow. I craned my neck to meet Garon's eye directly. There was a sort of... spark in his eye, a shimmer of something- something horrible. I swallowed down the disgusted feeling in my chest and let out a shallow breath. "I am not Hoshidan, I denounce their king-" My heart tightened. "I am no child of Sumeragi. I am no princess of Hoshido." I took the pinkish-gold circlet from my head and presented it to Garon. "I am no longer apart of them. I-I am loyal to you and your court and Camilla and X-" I cut myself off. He wasn't one to be loyal to in a political sense anymore, was he? 

I lowered my eyes. "I am a simple woman who is under the house of Nohr, ready to serve your cause- so long as Kaze remains living," I whispered.

"Lady Corrin-" Kaze uttered. "Quit this, I-"

"I order you to be silent!" I yelled. Tears dripped from my chin as I rose it. I let out a steady breath and narrowed my eyes. The answer to the question Garon had asked me an eternity ago came to me with such force and such obvious nature, I nearly sobbed. "He is useful to you," I whispered. Garon let out a scoff an turned. "No!" I cried. I shuffled forward and latched onto his pant leg. "I swear to you!" I dug my claws into the fine fabric as he attempted to shake me off. A hand rose to take his grubby paw and clutched it as though letting go meant my own life would end. "His entire family as trained to be ninja! His twin is Ryoma's retainer- th-they are the best ninja in all of Hoshido!"

"Let go of me you demon!" He shoved me off with enough force to send me slamming into the wall. I let out a cry of pain as my head slammed against the stone, but I pushed past the disorienting throb.

"He- he can help you," I garbled, "He can help find the spies- he can- he-"

"Get him out of here so I can leave this monstrosity of a scene," Garon uttered. 

"I swear to you- I swear he can help you- You just have to- to let him- you just-"

"Should we call a doctor- she's bleeding?" Gunter's hazy voice bled through the blur of my mind. Garon let out a puff of air.

"Someone else will do it, let's go."

 

There was a shuffle of feet, a quiet voice who offered an apology, and the slam of a door.

And I felt alone, quiet, still, dead, and alone with a cold golden circlet bundled in my trembling hands. 

 

No longer were we Princess Corrin of Hoshido, nor Crown Prince Xander of Nohr. No longer was Sumeragi my father and Ryoma my brother. No longer was Hoshido a place I could look upon with warmth and wish to revel in it's sunlight.

 

No longer.

 

I am Corrin, a woman with no father or mother to speak of, and no title to wave around. For once in my life I was not a princess with shiney, golden things and people to boss around, and I was no longer married to a future king- I was married to a general. A broken man. A nobody in the eyes of his father.

 

 

He is Xander,

Crown Prince of Nothing,

Husband of a monster,

Child of no one. 


	20. Dried Tears and the Lick of Morning Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the wait and all your support during all this <3

Titillating laughs, and the chink of china against china. I thought all peasants must have thought nobility was like- and when it was good- when we were blind, it was just that: yells for chiffon and wine, dances with loved ones, and sex on the floor like it meant everything.

What a sight all that grandeur was to behold, manifested as something more beautiful and heart warmingly brain numbing than you could ever imagine, but so brittle and volatile that the moment you touched it- disturbed the peace and caused even a single ripple in its water, the illusion shattered, and your eyes opened to the true world around you, and you saw how much that gradure did not matter. 

It took me 18 years to open my eyes and weeks longer to blink the crud from them to see what my world really was, an unforgiving, dark, and ruthless  _mess_ , that stole every shred of peace from me until I couldn't stand the smell of flowers or a shred of sunlight anymore. You could grow addicted to that kind of yo-yo chaos, skipping through fletchlings of peace and days of terror like an addict searching for their next fix, waiting, almost desperate for the next hit to your calmness. Royalty did not help that.

Royalty was bloody, a fact undisputed by everyone who had lived to see it, but if it were more gory than the life of commoners and peasants- well, I would never know. Even now, married to a general, I was higher class than most, and would likely always live this life of luxury. Like a bird, I would be locked in this illusory cage because a king wanted me, and I stayed... I stayed because I had nowhere to go but the gentle hands of a husband I never wanted till now, and he was stuck in the same place as I.

But I had to ask myself: was it worth it? What kept me from squeezing through the bars and running like I did all that time ago no matter if I had no where- or... was it really that long ago? Hardly a handful of months I came here, yet it feels like forever ago- like my life in Hoshido was forever ago, and it might as well have been. Though the time, in reality, has been short in Nohr, I've changed and aged nonetheless. I am not a child- not as much as one, but I am ignorant all the same, and treated like one still. Babied, and coddled, even after a night of chaos where I did nothing but make things worse. 

It was humiliating.

So, tell me, whatever could be listening to me, or him, what is this  _joke,_ that we are living in now; where not even an hour after a damn catastrophe- a line of royalty shattered and broken off- do we get to sit in comfort in our room, while siblings and friends continue to dance and play unknowing, like nothing ever happened? 

I was drug from that room by my damn teeth by a doctor and Xander as I thrashed and screamed for my mother as the dragon and my concussion took hold of me. Sedated, and tied to a bed as I begged for a death only the dragon wanted, I was bandaged and left to claw like an animal for even thinking that that  _monster_  could do any good until I fainted from it all. 

Then: I woke. Clawless. Exhausted. With a cup of tea in my lap as Felicia took the ropes from our room. And when she returned, she refilled what little I'd drank from my cup, sat a piece of bread in my hand, and lowered onto the chair beside me with a book as though nothing had happened tonight.

At the time, I didn't know what to think, so, I ate and I drank and I listened. Dreaming for a moment, that it really was a dream- that I'd gone to sleep after Xander had held me and he took us to our room. There would be nothing after that. No Ice Tribe. No training. No dragons, nor kings. Nothing. I would be safe.

But when I had looked to the fireplace, I knew only the ignorant dared to dream.

Between the flickers of  fire light laid a shadow that stretched across the room like a hulking plague. My eyes slowly followed the trail of black till I met its maker, and Xander's hunched form was unmistakable. Past the glowing seams of his silhouette, I saw his unblinking eyes fixated on the licks of fire that came so dangerously close to the toes of a bare foot stretched out from him. He had brought a leg up, and draped his arm across it, picking at the nail of his index finger.

My eyes caught on the glimmer that sparked from his other hand, and in an odd twist of fate, I was not shocked at what he gripped. With one strained motion, he brought a tangled, broken piece of metal to his lips, and held it there. The thorns of his mangled circlet dug into his skin as his eyes hardened on the fire.

There were no words that were worth speaking anymore, and no tears use shedding. The night was yet over, and a man had yet to be hung. I knew then I had to be strong until morning finally came. Gods know how much time that could take. So, I drunk in a breath of dry air, and leaned my head against the pillow to catch my mind back into the present.

I shut my eyes against the blinding light of the fire, and did my best to block out the painful throb of my head. I'd made so many mistakes tonight. Too many to even count. I let out a thin breath of air and shook my head as my strangled voice echoed in my head. Was condemning Camilla, the butler, and even myself- was it worth it all to prove a point? I've defended Xander, but what about his sister? 

She's done nothing but try to help me and make me feel at home. She's been a friend- a sister, and I've let her down. I've condemned her for no reason other than to spread the blame off Xander, something I knew with all certainty that he did not want. It was the last thing he could have ever wanted.

I tightened my fingers around the cup. She could lose her crown. She could lose everything, and it would be my fault. And what does it help that I've never treated her in any.... non-parasitic way. I speak with her. I listen to her and drink and have tea with her, but what have I offered besides ruining her god damned life?

A pang of lightning ran down my spine when I slammed my head against the headboard. 

What have I done?

"Milady." Felicia sat he hand over mine, and looked me stern in the eyes. "It's my duty to keep you healthy and safe tonight. Now," Her eyes softened. "what can I do to help you? I've run a bath for you, maybe you'd like to take a soak for a bit?" A stream of air escaped through my teeth as my heart tightened. 

As if my relationship with Felicia was any better.

Why? What have I done to make her think I was worth her time? The most I've ever done was promise to help her with Dwyer, and I've yet to even lay a finger near something helpful. And now- now I could be the reason she becomes tribless, and he becomes fatherless. Garon wants Flora, he'd keep her alive, but Jakob? He'd hang him. He'd hang him like Kaze, and the butler I condemned if not worse.

What child deserves this? And who am I to give it to him on a silver platter he will have to serve? 

I shook my head. No. I don't need your help. I can't need your help after so much you've needed from me that I've never even tried to offer. I'm not worth your time.

"Go to Dwyer," I said. She spared me a thoughtful look.

"He's being taken care of by a friend for now. It was arranged before this happened. Things just got to work out so I could be here with you." Her eyes shone with a falseness and premature knowledge of tonight that told me otherwise. I glanced to Xander. He must have told her knowing I would eventually. Or maybe... she only knows a bare minimum. 

"You don't want to stay here with me," I muttered. She cocked a curious eyebrow.

"Why wouldn't I?" She squeezed my hand. "It's not everyday I get to sit with you." The way her eyes shone nearly made my heart break. It wasn't fair she loved me so much. Gods, it wasn't fair to her knowing how much I could take and take without ever giving.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. "Thank you," I whispered, and returned her gesture, though every nerve in my body told me I didn't deserve to have this moment with her, because I felt in her grip a plea for stability that I did not have.

She smiled softly, and went back to her book. Never once letting go of my hand. 

"You know," she whispered after a time, "Dwyer is really curious about you." She turned a page. "He hasn't been much of a talker since Flora left- never really has been- but sometimes I'll catch him drawing you or asking about you now and then." She smiled, reservedly, like it wasn't her right to talk like a mother. "I'd always read him stories about dragons when Flora would send him off. I guess when he saw you-"

"He's seen me?" I asked. 

She waved me off. "He's caught you once or twice with wings, but that doesn't matter- well-... well actually it does." I raised a brow. "He- he's always loved dragons, you know? He thought they were wonderful, or at least I think that's what he thought. Never really told me, if I'm being honest-" She let out a quiet, secret laugh, almost making sure the sound didn't disturb the perturbed silence of the room.

"Why... why are you telling me this?" I didn't intend it to be rude, but... I had to wonder. Why mindless conversations now of all times? She smiled again, and looked up from her book, but her eyes landed on Xander. 

"Because, I know how you feel about yourself, and I know how often you feel it." She turned her head to me, looking upon me softly. "I promise it's a feeling I've felt before-" She chortled- "well, maybe not in the same way- but I know how it feels to be so... so horribly uncomfortable with yourself that you'd rather rip off your skin than walk another mile in it." She let out a sigh and thumbed at the spine of her novel. "I just thought that, maybe, knowing that a child is looking up to you for the very reason you hate yourself, could help in some way." She let go of my hand and gave a shrug. "I know it did me." She shut her book and rose to her feet. "I'm going to go get you some food," she said, dropping her novel into her pocket. "I heard you didn't eat much tonight. Surely, you'd want something more than bread?" I didn't deserve bread, and the thought of eating, even with my gnawing stomach made me want to vomit.

"No," I uttered, shaking my head, "No, I'm fine, I don't feel very-" In the fringe of my sight I saw Xander shift his head to listen to me, and I bit my tongue- "I don't feel very... hungry. Thank you." 

She nodded and turned to Xander. She laced her fingers together. "Sir, can I get you something?" It was phrased as more of a plead than a question, and after a moment where it seemed he would not answer, he took in a breath and turned to her, finally taking his eyes off the fire. 

"Rum and..." he lowered his eyes for a moment, "no- rum will be all. Thank you." 

She smiled and gave him a nod he did not see. "Of course," she said, with a biting tone of disappointment, but before it truly hit the uncomfortably warm air, she feigned a chipper tone as if it would ease the stagnant feeling around us. "Oh, and Corrin," she began, a smile pricking her thin lips, "before I forget, I wanted to return this to you." She dipped into her pockets and rummaged around for a moment. "We thought you'd want to keep it." She sat my golden circlet onto my lap like it was nothing, replacing my cup of tea before she left the room without another word.

I furrowed my brows and took the warm metal into my hands. I'd chucked it when Garon left. Threw it right at the door so hard it chipped the wood. It bounced off and slid under a table, and thought that was that. My life as a noble was over and I'd never have to look at it again. 

I turned my gaze to Xander. " _We thought..."_ No. He thought I wanted to keep my nobility, and maybe I did, maybe it was selfish of me to throw away what he just had stolen from him, but I  _knew_  I couldn't remain a Hoshidan noble, not with this drama. It was better to get rid of it than have Garon control me once again and force me to lose it, but... in the end, it was still a win in his books. 

I never would have thought that our bargain from all that time ago would have ever come back, but it did. And it seemed he'd won, but I'd have no benefits- though I did not want them. I let out a breath and tightened my grip around the metal. He'd wanted this all along, and finally, he got it and so much more. I'd played right into his hands and given him more than he could ever imagine.

And for what? Xander still lost his crown. Kaze will still be hung. I will still be nothing. 

Long ago, I dreamt for a day that I could be a commoner, or a maid, or anything other than a bargaining chip for this damn monarchy, but I think I knew, even then, that I would always be just that. Gods, I envy that girl, so filled with hate and anger- so ready she was to fight and take without any of the consequences. She used to dream of floating islands and slaying monsters like her elder brother. She was ignorant, and she was a child, but she did not know, and she did not care because in those days when she was watched and monitored and trapped, she loved herself, because she never had a reason not to do so.

Sometimes, when I slept, I dreamt of her, and the fairytale she managed to squander. Now, there were no dreams, just the smell of smoke and the pop of the fire as I watched Xander, still and quiet like there had never been a day where he wasn't. 

I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my cheek against them, watching for a moment as he bit at the nail of his thumb. The breath he released was filled with nothing but poison. He leaned back onto his elbow and reached a hand back to tighten his ponytail, looking hard at the flames as they licked at their fuel, before he slowly titled the side of his head towards me. 

I don't think I could ever imagine what could've been running through his mind in those stiff moments, yet he spoke to me all the same. "I should be shocked, shouldn't I? Shouldn't I throw a fit, or run away like some coward?" He tilted his head, keeping his eyes cold on the fire, as if attempting to put it out with his will alone. "Maybe when I was younger-" he let out a dry laugh- "much younger, I would've. Now-" He rose his eyes to the ceiling- "now I can't even fathom it, and is that so wrong? I've done this to myself, so why should I have any right to leave? He still needs me, so I have to stay- no-" His teeth squeaked- "I want to stay." 

My stomach turned at his words; so cold and calculated as if he'd read them off a script. I couldn't even begin to think that someone so strong as him could believe such a thing. Gods, I could've laughed it was such a joke, but as I waited for the hint that he was anything but truthful, I felt my heart drop.

"You-... you can't be serious?" I pleaded. Gods, he couldn't be? He was too strong for this.

"Duty, is a serious thing, Corrin." And he sounded so... believable. 

The fear that rose in me couldn't rival the anger that bubbled beneath my surface. I straightened my back and moved to sit at the edge of the bed. "So after he's taken your crown- after he's beaten you-" he curled his toes- "that's all you have left to say? What  _is_  this to you?" His chest heaved with a breath and he turned to face me.

" _This_  is what I get for going against my father. What am I supposed to do Corrin?" He furrowed his brows like I was the one not thinking clearly. "He is my king. He is my father. I have to obey him-"

"The man has disowned you, Xander! He took your crown! You are worthless to him, when will you see that!" He rose onto his knees.

"I am not  _worthless._ "

"I didn't say you were!" I cried.

"Then don't say anything!" He yelled, voice thick with emotion, and I went silent. Seethingly so. "You act like I don't know what I've done. Like I don't feel the weight of all this!" He tightened his grip on his circlet as his voice lowered to a whisper. "I have lost everything. Every shred of what I've worked for and for what-" He stopped as his voice wavered. His nostrils flared, and he took in a breath to steady himself. "I have lost everything, Corrin, but don't think for even a second that I don't know what I've done to deserve it." He shook his head. "He may not think me his son," he uttered, "but I will always think him my king, and I will  _never_  shirk my duties as a man who loves his country on account of my damn feelings. For or against him." He turned back to his fire, and sat his circlet into his lap. "I am his child no longer, but he will always be my father, no matter how I feel, and no matter what his rank in this world is."

I took in a slow breath and rose my chin. "And what has he ever done to prove to you that he deserves to be your father?" The question I dared hung heavy in the air, and for a moment... a long silent moment, I thought I'd strangled him with it.

With a violent crack, the door swung open like it so often did these days, and in came one of the sisters that had been missing since this catastrophe began. Camilla's eyes were hard set with an anger so regal and so cold I knew it was a look that she had branded long ago. With her ball dress bunched tight in her clenched fists, she stomped to Xander, her heels discarded and bare feet bringing her so much closer to the ground as he rose, a strange mix of sympathy and guardedness rising upon his features. Like him, she'd pulled her hair back, revealing a red welt rose upon her cheek that Xander's eyes immediately focused on. The small cuts in the hinges of the fingers of her wound told a rich story of who had hurt her. Garon's gauntlets seemed to be a favorite amongst his most beloved children.

Her hands shook as she stood before him, looking up with the most intense eyes. Her jaw flexed and she took in a swift breath, and like the crack of a whip her hand streaked across Xander's face in a painful slap. I went stiff at the pointed sound. Yet, his eyes softened, offering no retaliation, no words. Nothing but another cheek. 

"I'm-" He was cut off as her hand connected hard against him again. 

"Don't. Don't you dare, Xander," she  yelled, voice thick and unstable. She pulled in a lung full of air and threw down the bunches of her dress as she rose her hand a final time, aiming to beat the life from him. He looked her dead in the eyes as her hand wavered, nothing but a plead in his eyes. Slowly, she rested her hand upon his red cheek. "Don't you dare, for even a moment, think that-" she squeezed her eyes shut as her lip trembled- "that any of this is your fault." She let out a winded sob, and seemed to crumple as the tears dripped from her chin. 

Xander sucked in a breath as horror crossed his face. "Oh gods- gods," his voice twisted in agony as he followed to the ground, bringing her into his arms. "Don't cry- please don't cry- it's alright, I promise you. We can figure this out- we can-" 

"I can't give him an heir, Xander, I'm not able," she sobbed, voice ripping at the corners as she tore apart. "Whatever he wants from me in this game- I cannot give him." She pressed her face into his chest. My hand rose to take my pendant as she let out the most wretched cry. My heart twisted and burned inside my chest as I watched this women- these sibling snap in two before my every eyes. 

Xander's breath was quick while he frantically looked for any hint of how to calm her. "Please- please, we'll be fine- we've gone through worse- we can do this- we can do this-  _please_ , stop crying," he pleaded as his voice broke. He glanced up and his eyes widened ever so slightly at the sight of me, like he'd forgotten I was even here. He quickly brought his head back down to mutter words I could still hear. "Come now- let's go somewhere private, no one needs to see you this way- let's talk about what we can do," he whispered as he brought her to her feet. As quickly as he could he hurried her from the room and on his way out, quickly dodged Azura as she rushed to them, winded. He frantically shook his head and went down the hall and out of my view. 

Azura, with her brows furrowed and her chest heaving watched them as something silent stewed in her mind. She pushed out a heavy breath and pressed her back to the door frame, hardly even registering me as I sat, shell shocked and tight throated as I took in what I'd just seen. My grip could've shattered that pendant if I'd wanted it to, and the scales that rose on my fingers seemed to want it. 

"Don't," Azura breathed. She settled her head against the frame and crossed her arms against her chest. Her bun from the night's festivities was half falling out and a layer of sweat shone on her shoulders. "I don't have the energy to calm you tonight, Corrin. I know that I couldn't do it." She lulled her head to look at me. Reluctantly, my hand released the pendant, and I leaned back on my elbows to let off some steam. 

"Is she going to be alright?" I asked. She nodded, albeit hesitantly.

"We all will eventually." She pushed from the door, breath caught and steady, and closed it behind her. She rolled her shoulders as though the room had sucked the stress from her- or at least a good margin of it. "Gods, it's hot in here. It's like you're trying to burn down the castle." It almost sounded like a plea.

"Xander brought firewood after I..." What was the use in sugar coating it? "He brought it in once I'd passed out from the dragon." 

"Ah," she breathed as she took Felicia's seat. Gods, be back with the rum soon. "Father wasn't very elegant about your outburst. I'm shocked he didn't put you in the dungeons again." She turned to watch the fire. "Do be careful, dragons are a fickle thing." She smiled like it was some secret joke. I deflated at her comment and laid fully onto my back. I rested my wrist over my eyes as to block out the blinding light.

"I know you still want me to take you up on your offer," I stated flatly, giving a pointed flick of my fingers to show how I was still against it. I didn't want to get any closer than that thing. We already shared a body, after all. 

She hummed, agreeing. "I want it desperately." But her voice held none of that desperateness, sounding more akin to the aimless chatter of the court ladies. I lifted my arm and pressed my head into the sheets to see her. "But what is the use of asking over and over?" She crossed her legs. "You will say no and grow cold to the necessity of it all with every time I ask. I don't need to remind you either. You will remember it every time you feel your control slipping away, and you'll contemplate it every time you won the fight." She leaned in closer to me. "But what will you think when you've lost control?" She moved back to give me space to answer.

I looked to the ceiling. "I'd guess nothing. Nothing that would be my own thought anyway." I glanced back to her. She nodded, and gave me a sly smile.

"You'd only know that if you've experienced it, and I'd like to assume you've felt some of that control gone tonight." I sighed and shut my eyes once again. I didn't need this tonight. "You can't block this out forever, Corrin. This is your body. The dragon? It is not a separate being from you, as much as you want to think. That is  _you_. And every second you think otherwise you give in so much more to the insanity that your blood can cause."

I barked out a scoff and rose onto my elbows, twisting to see her. "Surely from tonight, nothing can be worse."

She let out a loud, challenging guffaw. "You have no idea how 'worse' it can be, Corrin." I pinched open my eyes at the sound of her foot lowering and stamping onto the ground with a loud smack. Her golden eyes thrived in that firelight. With it, they took it in and multiplied the intensity tenfold as she looked at me. "Kingdoms have been destroyed- wiped clean from the map because of a dragon's insanity- families, lines of royalty destroyed with one breath-" She took in a gust of air as her face reddened- "sisters separated from sisters," her voice rose in volume, "fathers dead before their children and refugees with no where to turn to but a lake and a kingdom!" She  dug her nails into the wood arm of the chair. "But even then," she uttered, her voice growing horribly cold. "how do you know that the dragon has not followed you to your supposed freedom- that he doesn't live in those you love and steal everything all over again?" She shook her head. "But you're right." She leaned back into her chair, and took in a slow breath. Slowly, she sat her hands into her lap. "Nothing can be worse than some prince losing his crown for the most valid reasons I can think of." She scoffed. "Thank the gods he didn't have an entire kingdom destroyed for it to happen." 

I couldn't help the silence that followed, but I tried to revive it a best I could. A confused, quirk of a smile cracked across my cheeks as I rose a timid eyebrow. "What stories have you been reading, Azura?" I let out a thin breath as her eyes widened ever so slightly. I softened my tone, hoping to make up for whatever I had just done to insult her. "Besides, whoever could be my father, I must be the only living dragon on the whole continent, maybe even the whole realm. Dragons like that have been dead for thousands of years. Only rumors of them now and the old, washed up sage claiming something he can't prove.  But... I-... I don't think I'd rise up and destroy a whole kingdom, Azura."

Her jaw trembled, a small, infantile thing that I only barely caught before she tilted her head back and broke away from my still terribly confused gaze. She drew in a trembling breath. "No... No, you're right, you couldn't, but..." She blinked away her watery eyes and swallowed down the quiver that fell into the ridges of her wispy voice. "-but you could destroy yourself, and how much pride is worth that?" My shoulders fell.

"This... this isn't pride, Azura. I promise you I'm not proud of what I am- what this thing makes me."

"Then let me help you  _be_  proud of it." She sighed and turned her gaze back to me. "I'm not asking you to sing and dance like this part of you is free from fault. It's an animal, with instincts and wants that line up with one from time to time, and with that, there is conflict." She clasped her hands together. "But any animal can be trusted and trained." 

I laid back down, scoffing. Of course. "No," I said firmly. "I won't be treated like an animal or- or trained however you want to phrase it-" She let out a thin sigh.

"Gods, no that's not what I meant- I promise you- I just-"

"You want me to be paraded around? Show me off to the world?" I laughed and sat back up. "'Look at my experiment! Grab the rope and drag her around like my father did!' No." My hands cut through the air. "No, I refuse-"

"That isn't what I meant!" She pleaded. "Please,  _please_ , just listen to me for one second!" She moved onto the bed and shifted to be in my sights. Her eyes begged me to give her just a second more of time. "Please," she whispered, taking my hands, "I worded that wrong, I admit it, but listen to me I beg you."

I searched her striking eyes, trying to find a hint of that "interest" that Garon had once showed when it came to my demon, and when the seconds ticked by, her hands never releasing mine, her eyes ever steady and sincere, focused like I'd never seen them, I couldn't find a hint of that man. Not even a trace. And it made me think... made me wonder at the story she had told. I could not destroy a kingdom, yes, but... I really could obliterate myself. So often have my hands itched to rip the pendant off and go berserk, even doing it on one occasion, and so often have I been drug into a transformation all due to some stickly emotion that once would've never affected me. That first full transformation, that pivotal moment in the woods was something I didn't remember. Ropes, burns, and chains. That was all, and when I woke, I remember how very wrong I had felt afterwards. But then, then there was the night with Silas, where the smell of trees and his cologne melded together so easily and I turned again, aware, calm, no fear of harming anyone and waking like there was nothing wrong with it besides my inner hate for that monster. After all the examples of losing control- after tonight giving it up and seeing just how far the monster could go, wishing death upon itself if it meant sating it's need for destruction- why do I stay so far away from the hope of calming it, and keeping myself from it's grasps?

Xander could remain obeying and calling Garon his father. Not denying the facts and claiming he wouldn't let his emotions interfere with his duty to his king, so why did I refuse to do the same on such a personal level? I hated this body, what it could turn into, but was it worth putting my very mental state in danger just because of those feelings?

I took my pendant into my hands. Maybe-... maybe it wasn't.

I lowered my eyes, and prayed that she truly did have good intentions. "Go on," I muttered. 

"Thank you, Corrin," she breathed, relief washing over her. She moved to my front and sat cross legged before me. I pulled my feet in and did the same, giving her the room she took up on such a small bed. I pulled my weight into my hand as I rested them beside me and waited as she collected her thoughts a moment, but as she turned her eyes to me, ready for a speech or explanation, something piqued my interest. How in the world would she ever know so much about dragons? So much that she held the confidence to tame one? 

I held up my hand as she opened her mouth to speak. "Wait," I said. "Before you begin, I have to ask, how could you ever know so much about this? I mean, in Hoshido, the scrolls there, they rarely ever talk about the dragons besides the ones the royal family are apparently descended from- or blood infused, I'm not sure really, it's been so long. I've only ever heard of two dragons in my lifetime besides myself, and there is nothing said besides the fact that they are gone now. The only other mention has been of some war before they decided upon peace, but even then, that isn't exactly a manual on how you would know so much and better yet, be able to calm one so easily."

"That is... a very valid question, Corrin, one you have every right of knowing," she thumbed nervously at the edge of her ballgown, "but it's something I cannot tell you until the time is right, and you accept my offer." I sighed. She wasn't all she was cracked up to be it seemed, but before I opened my mouth to deny her, she held up her hand, peaking a smile from me. "But, the knowledge I know, is something I would never impart on you if I wasn't 100 percent certain it was correct." She smiled. "And I am certain on everything when it comes to dragons Corrin." She clasped her hands together and shrugged her shoulders coyly. "But if that doesn't convince you to even listen to me, one, final time about this and never bother you again, maybe the fact that I'm the only one all of nohr alive who knows how to help the only dragon in this world is convincing enough. You don't get my knowledge from a pauper on the streets."

"Then where?"

"And that is something I promise you that I would tell you if I could, and it's something I  _will_  tell, but only once the place and time are right, and they will only ever be right if you take me up on my offer."

I let out a sigh. What did it coming from even matter to what she knew? In the end she knew it and wanted me to know it as well, and that should sate me enough for now. "Then, tell me what you want to tell." 

She wasted no time this round. "I'll be quick, because I know you dislike this idea," she said, and she was right of course. "You said that weren't proud of it, and I stand by what I said that I can make you proud of it- yourself. I can make it so much easier to feel that  _you_  are that dragon, feel the truth of this situation rather than feeling like it's a parasite upon you." She reached forward, and took my hand. She rose it and faced my palm to me. "These hands, are not meant for destruction, Corrin, as much as you think they want it, as much as others want it, they are not." She smiled softly. Her hands started to feel... moist, in a way. Not quite clammy, but not damp either. I tilted my head. "Our hands, Corrin, they're meant to build and protect, not destroy, and I can teach you how. I can show you how to control yourself, learn from yourself, and protect those who need it." I let out a soft breath as beads of water formed on the backs of her hand. They shimmered like tiny droplets of gold as they slowly rose into the air. "You are so much more than you know," she uttered. "You're worth so much more than you know. So, let me teach you how to realise it. Let me show you how to love what you are." Like a dance, her water rippled in the air and swirled around our fingers. "Please..." she whispered, "I beg of you." As delicate as the fly of a dandelion seed, the water brushed across my knuckles and rose to wrap my palm like the warm hand of a lover. I let out a steady breath as I watched the spectacle, entranced like no other moment before. "Let me teach you who you really are..."

The feeling that pumped through my veins was unlike any other, teeming with equal parts excitement and doubt as I watched her honey gold eyes swim in the thick air. I dared for a moment, a breath of a second to think, and break from her spell. She laced our fingers and I gave a small, timid smile. It felt so intimate, so secure, something I'd never felt before with another besides Xander, yet... this was so much different. This felt... sure. Like I had no doubt in my mind that this bond- this picture of us woven so tightly together as... as something not quite as simple as friendship was undoubtedly true, and frighteningly stable.

I could say no in this moment, and the glamor would wash away, and I would return to sitting in this room alone, powerless both in my human form and when the dragon took me and I knew she would not push a second more. But if I said yes- dared that word to grace my lips and squeeze her hand back- I had the surest feeling that this world of too much feeling and too much anger and lack of control could change somehow, and I would no longer be powerless without Xander. I could protect him- no I could protect myself from whoever dared harm me again. I remember the day I'd taken Xander's beating; I remember the power I felt as I fought back and pushed him away like he weighed nothing. She could teach me. She could train me and I could learn to finally be more than a bargaining chip- more than the wife of Xander.

And that feeling invoked a sense of pride in me. To one day stand beside him as an equal, rather than a student or cheer squad. I was not born to be a queen, that much I was sure of, but I was also not born to sit stagnant with a lover who was so much more than myself even at his lowest and be satisfied with it. 

I was born. That was all, but I was reborn to make up for the years I spent babbling in the womb that was Hoshido. I would never be powerless like that again, and like the birthing that has been these last few months here, I would no longer be stupid to these people and how they work. But if in the end, she could teach me only control, then I would be satisfied then knowing that I would never be vulnerable to myself again. 

And in that moment, it was all I needed to squeeze her hand, and finally say yes.

An ecstatic smile rose on her face and her water thinned into glimmering nothings. "Really? Really, you mean it?" Xander and her sounded so similar when they excited. I couldn't help the small smile that peaked at my lips, but I couldn't push back the bite in my jaw that warned of how wrong it was to smile when the night was yet over, and it wiped the trueness of that grin from my cheeks so fast it could've dazed me. I kept the corners of my lips high, trying to copy her joy, though I could not feel it as the thought of morning drug through my thoughts. 

"I mean it," I said. She pressed a hand to her heat and let out a long, relief filled sigh much too grand for the situation I'd agreed to. "All I ask is that we take it slow." I grit my teeth as purple and green flashed behind my eyes with every throb of my head. My throat tightened. "I-I'm still not sure of getting closer to the dragon." She released my hand and nodded intently.

"Of course, Corrin, of course. However slow you need. We don't need to rush yet, especially with how important the start of this will be."

"Thank you," I said, blowing out the smell of a summer's night and blinking away the stars from my eyes. "When do we start?" I felt my gums pulse and I rose off the bed to move towards the fire. I clasped my hands behind my back, hoping to hide the scales that began to rise on my fingertips. Blue nails were the last thing she needed to see. I didn't want her to rush this, and I didn't want to be near anyone anymore tonight.

She stood, taking the hint of my separation from her and kept her distance, though seemed unaware of the transformation. For now. Horns would be hard to ignore. 

"With how stressful this day has been, and as it serving as such a lesson, as soon as possible- but... with-.... with whatever is coming next in Nohr, so long as you are positive you will be stable, we can wait a few days." She tensed the side of her mouth, and looked longingly to the door. "But it would be wiser to have you ready for the Ice Tribe. Father planned for us to leave in two days, but with this... he may change it to today, or next month. Gods know what is more important to him."

She opened her mouth for another word as I dug my claws lightly into my skin, but a swift knock at the door, and the enter of Felicia caught her off guard. 

"Prince Xander, this was all we could-" Felicia looked up from her shoes, no doubt making sure her steps were careful as she hauled the rum, and went into a shocked silence at the sight of Azura. She blinked away her surprise quickly and rushed to sit down the drink. She gave a quick bow. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to intrude Princess. I hope I wasn't interrupting anything important."

Azura gave a soft shake of her head. "No, no you're fine. I was just leaving anyway." She turned to me, and gave a soft nod in parting before she moved to Felicia. "Be sure you're careful with Xander's titles. He is still a noble in some right being your general, but he is no longer a prince."

"Y-yes, of course Milady. My apologies." She lowered her eyes to her hands as the gripped at her skirts.

"All is forgiven, just be respectful is all I ask."

"Without a doubt, Miss. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your night."

"As do I," she muttered, just barely above her breath before she left. Felicia, after closing the door Azura had forgotten to, let out a held breath. She gave her head a shake.

"I swear, that woman is more intimidating than Xander," she muttered. I forced a sympathetic smile as I felt blood trickle down my fingers. Poison filled my veins. "I know that must sound odd considering how... how-" she stiffened her fingers and brought down her hand- "he is, but I hardly ever see her. You never know what she could pull. Especially not being from Nohr, wherever she was from." My teeth squeaked.

"I am not from Nohr,  but we trust each other no?" I asked, hoping to bring the conversation to a quick end. She sighed and nodded, tracing her finger around the lip of the bottle of rum.

"Yes...  Yes, you're right. Old suspicions die hard."

"As this night has," I said, closing my fist to catch a drop of blood just before it left my fingers. "On that note, I feel I need some alone time. I hope you understand?" Her eyes widened and she quickly moved to the door.

"Of course, of course! I'm sorry I didn't think of that sooner! You even had Xander get out of the room." She took the doorknob. "I'll be right out of your way. No problem! Ah- make sure not to forget your bath Miss, and I'm gone!" She quickly hurried out and slammed the door. I let out a breath, and rose my claw marked hand up. The door squealed back open and I hastily shoved my hands back behind my back. Felicia flashed me a cringing smile. 

"Sorry," she whispered. "Apron tails got stuck in the door. Not another word from me. Sorry. Have a good night."

My smile could've cracked teeth, and I was happy to remove it from my cheeks once she closed the door. I moved to the cold wall of the fireplace and rested my head against it. Letting out a breath that tasted of Xander and smoke. 

I reached behind myself and tugged down the back of my nightdress to allow the growing stubs of my wings to have a place to be let out if they needed it. I wrapped my bleeding hand absently with the ends of the gown as I looked on blankly to the wall across from me. My mind ran circles.

The blinding light of the fire lit up the room like the flaming sunsets of Hoshido, and the lick of the castle draft against my skin felt so similar to the winds that lapped at my shoulders when I rose to the king's balcony. If I dared to dream now, I could've seen those rose tinted skies in the wall that very moment, and jumped from the railing into the mountains below, but instead, I was filled with a deadly poison that fogged across my veins with a soft hiss, bringing me back to the reality I had tried so horribly to escape once I'd woken up.

I felt green Ivy wrap around my ankles as I forced the thoughts away- as I grasped at my neck as they rose, noosing around my throat, the smell childhood flitted between its leaves; the smell of home and fresh air writhing in my nostrils like a stagnant spring. 

It smelled like my blue Yukata under the summer moon Kaze had forever stolen from me. 

His ivy; his poison stilted, and stopped its writhing as my thoughts came to focus on that single, smuggled item. My mind churned, working and rolling a thought that slowly came to fruition in the front of my foggy thoughts. I turned my eyes to the wardrobe, and the memories I stole from home.   

There was hesitation in me as I left the protection of that stone wall. My heart felt as though a fine string had begun pulling it back, trying to keep me in place as I moved closer to the furniture. Something told me I didn't need to see it. I shouldn't want to see those memories, all dusty and changed, but even deeper in me, where Garon clutched onto my fears, I knew I had to see them one last time before he destroyed them. 

I lowered onto my knees and leaned over to feel behind the item, searching blindly for a moment before my finger bumped against a hard, long wooden box. I pulled it from the confines Xander had hidden it in, and sat it on the ground behind me. I found another when I felt my palm brush against the unforgettable crest of Hoshido, like the other, I sat it behind myself.

I didn't allow myself to think of the contents, or how gathering them in my arms felt after so long, and sat them on the table beside the rum. I traced a finger across the fine wood of the boxes, and moved in to inhale their scent. The wood still smelled of Hoshido; of a mother the day she handed me my wedding gift.

I grit my teeth as I looked to the box, carved mockingly with the crest of my old home. There was a piece of her in it; letters from my siblings, and from her before she passed. A chill ran down my spine and I pushed the item aside to move to the other, filled to the brim with my old life.

 A thin smile brushed my lips as I ran my finger tip across the seam of it. The cherry wood still shone like the day It'd been given to me. It was a comfort in some ways. 

I brought a chair to where I stood and lowered into it, bringing the item into my lap as I did so. It was hulking in my small lap and had a weight that reassured me that, in all my time here, it had not been tampered with. I shifted to press my thumb against the small, golden latch at the forefront of the middle, and dared to think for a moment, that I was alone. In the entire castle, I would be entirely alone, with no Garons or Hoshidans to think of- save for one, because as much of this night had been Xander- as much of the forefront that was him- he was not going to die in the morning. 

It was cold. I knew it. It was a horrible thing to think of when not two hours ago I'd laid with and had the sweetest moment with him... but it was true. Xander was crownless. He'd lost so much, but he was not sitting in that dungeon, broken and tired all for warning the people he'd deemed as enemies his whole life. 

Xander had lost his livelihood. Kaze would lose his life, so the night- whatever was left, I  _had_  to dedicate to him. We were not lovers anymore, a fact I'd stopped mourning long ago, but he was still a man I'd been raised beside. Gods, we played in the same halls- muddied in the same castle ponds. He was my childhood. Not Ryoma, not my siblings, not even my absent father, but Kaze; Kaze and his scruffy olive hair that always had a stick or two in them, or the boy who sobbed in my arms after his father passed and his brother went missing for weeks trying to find the killer. His family... what little there was of it, was my childhood- where a new scent of cologne and fresh armor was a sign that these boys I loved and lived through were finally turning into men.

My finger trembled on the latch. 

I really did live through them... didn't I? Every spectacle they witnessed, every landscape they came across, they gave to me like a gift- the little girl trapped in a castle without knowing it. Maybe that was why I'd started to become so drawn to Kaze who, after his brother thought it dull to recall every sight after they'd turned thirteen, continued it; prattling about a yellow bird that landed beside him or how the trees swayed just in the right ways to paint a picture against the cliff faces above them.

I laughed, silent like the world had begun to feel as I recalled those moments beneath the stars- sneaking more time as he whispered what the ocean looked like as his breath wafted over my skin. I remember so vividly how my heart raced at how passionate he was about recalling every detail. It was funny, how one could get so riled up in how blue the skies were or how you could see the curve of the horizon when you were at just the right dock, but I absorbed the information and the sparkle in his eyes like they were the map to finding what he described. 

My fingers curled against the box as my lightheartedness began to fade, replacing it with a hulking, heavy feeling that crushed the crest of my ribs. Every image I saw in my story books, or my imagination came from his breath, and the life he spilled from his lips. He was my imagination, my dreams- this man that was so much more than a summer lover was my existence, for, who was I to think this very room I stood in, halting and hesitating at the latch of a world gone past, was not a room he described to me, leaving out so carefully the details of the murder that transpired in it as his job always entailed. 

He never told me what death smelled like, and when it roamed the country and so many innocent homes and royal rooms in the continent where I knew nothing outside of it, he never told me a word. There were no stories when Leon died. There were no stories on the missions to the borders. 

When he died, what story would I tell to his misplaced grave? 

It was a thought that slowly... slowly silenced my mind to nothing but a dull, flat note that played dead in my ears. My eyes lowered to the box as my finger played with the latch.

What story would I tell?

He was a fool. A horrible fool who died being foolish. 

Yet, I had loved him, and every moment that he brought with his poison eyes.

I flipped up the latch, and opened what remained of my burning bright kingdom. A seething breath escaped through my teeth. I'd imagined it a million times; walking in the heat with that yukata, the moonlight tangled in my hair, and the blooming honey grass scruffing at my bare feet, but it didn't even seem real seeing that yukata.

In my dreams it sparkled like sequence, reflecting every star on its silked surface and every man that laid a gentle finger upon me. I dipped my fingers into the fabrics and lifted it free from it's entrapment. The dark blue was like stagnant, yellowed water in the light, and felt as common as most of my comfort clothes had felt in Hoshido. It was mostly plain, only with crawling, tight stitched vines and purple flowers upon the squared sleeves and bottom. All that held a hint of glamor was the obi, a blinding red made of silk I'd stolen off a kimono Hinoka had for special occasions. Even so, no stars sprinkled the breast of the clothing, nor moon upon its belly, only the piss-stained firelight against the common, unbreathing fabric. I sucked on my teeth as my eyes roamed the cloth. There was nothing to think.

I sat it to the side, folding it as to not let it drape from the table, and took the plump, leather satchel from the container and into my sweaty palms. My memory tingled at the phantom sensation of the free and healthy Hoshidan air that didn't fall heavy in my lungs like Nohr's did. I released a mournful sigh as I remembered how the greenery felt under my toes or how the plant life infested every corner of your sense of smell till you were drunk from the pollen. The sun- oh gods the sun, how soft it felt on your skin. I released a small chortle. Mother and I were not meant for Hoshido's light. Maybe that was the first clue to my untrue heritage; the nearly pale skin in comparison to my tanned siblings. Still, I'd never seen a man so pale and almost sickly looking in his lack of sun till I'd met Xander and the Nohrians of this place. 

In the moonlight of our first moment together, where it struck half his features like a bright tattoo, it looked as though even that was too much brightness for him, yet he stayed in that vampiric state, watching as I fumed from afar, dropping my petals into the satchel. To think our first true conversation was of him scolding me, though, I deserved it. 

A small chortle stuttered through my lips as I lowered my gaze to my satchel. I couldn't even pronounce his name then, and never dreamed of a time where the sound felt so natural on my tongue. I closed my eyes, wondering for a moment if he'd ever thought I could love him- or if I ever humored the same.

It was not simple in his moonlit, wine tinted world, but I had never dreamed mine would be too. 

With a tug, I freed the satchel of its string. There was only a hint of home in the air, but when I looked inside, that hint had long wilted. Without thought, I poured the browning petals into my lap and watched them scatter as light as a feather. A hard, seedy ball landed onto my knee and dropped onto the floor with a soft bump. I didn't bother to pick it up and simply ran my hands through the dead mess upon my thighs. 

I swallowed a hard lump down as my fingertips brushed across the crumbling, wilted lumps of flowers. A shaky breath left my lips. Mother didn't deserve to be given these. How could I have ever thought flowers were ever enough to spread in the water for her? She was worth so much more than a few molding petals. What were these even worth? A few memories of watching trees bloom? A selfish, last-minute thought? Of all the things I chose to take from home- things that must have mattered, I chose this. Flowers that would wilt. Flowers that would die. 

I took a browning piece between my fingers and rose it to eye level. Of all the things I chose to bring from home, I chose this-... this useless thing that had no memories attached. I never thought for a second to take something that mother had given me? Or father for that matter; something that was small enough that I could cherish. I could've taken a scroll, a pen, one of the tens of style and culture mashed drawings mother and father both worked on.

But no.

I took flowers that had no meaning other than to fill up space, because I didn't bother to even  _think,_  for a second, that there was something more valuable to me. Only these damn flowers. I rolled the petal between my scaled fingers and dropped the little broken mash onto the floor before swiping all its molded brethren off my lap. I couldn't stand that smell, so I wiped my hands of it as violently as I could muster without ripping my skirts. 

A hiss of air escaped from my nose as I scooted my chair closer to the table. My elbows pressed on the sides of my box as I leaned over. I clasped my hands around the back of my neck, and willed my eyes shut at the sight of that- that armor. 

"Don't dwell on it. Gods-" my voice tightened- "don't dwell on it." My claws pressed at my skin, acting as a dangerous warning of how easily I could harm myself tonight and lose it all over again. It wasn't worth it over some dead flowers and armor.

I swallowed a thin breath of air and raked a hand through my hair. My toes curled at the bright shimmer of the silver plates of my final gift from mother and father. It was stomach churning, watching as the sword turned golden in the light. Shimmering, glitzing in its new home, it beckoned for me to arm myself in memory of the training I loved so dearly with my brothers. I took my pendant, and nestled my fist under my chin as I watched it, tightening in on myself at the memories of sweat and blisters.

Mornings, three times a week, when mother was busy in the drawing room with Orochi and her friends, I dawned my training gear and joined my siblings as they trained themselves...Never once were all five of us present as full gatherings were for more calm events, but more often than not I'd find a good number of us, even more so though, would be my private lessons with Ryoma. The pendant warmed under my fingertips. If no one else showed, the morning would be dedicated to us, and again for our later day training. 

I let out a puff and rested my head on the back of the chair, squeezing my eyes shut as the light became too much for me again. I tried to be a good student then, always hopping to that little clearing with a stick and my training outfit even if I had duties to attend to. He would always be there. It seemed he always made time for it. My teeth tightened together. I always thought it was such a privilege to have so much extra time with him when our siblings hardly ever saw him outside of his duties or his missions to gods know where around gods know who's next Nohr bound rebellion. Still, he made time for me... and when I was little and so scared of mother falling to the plague, those mornings, when they were nothing but hitting a stick together and waiting for the call of a guard, they meant the world to me. 

He meant the world to me.

I lurched forward and snapped the box shut, without even a second glance to Kaze's old letter to me. I threaded my hair through my fingers as I leaned back against my chair, heart thundering in my chest. My eyes were solid onto that shimmering cherrywood while I sat there, all the air stolen from my lungs.

The hum of the world abandoned me, and I was left alone with only my letters and the fire. With a quiet desperation, I wiped my clammy, trembling palms onto my dress and took the box into my fingers. Its weight was unmeasurable as I sat it onto the floor, my wrists nearly giving out at the mid point of my languid movement, but when it was settled in just the right spot, with a hasty kick, I slid it across the room where it slammed against the wall with a satisfying snap.

I rose on wobbly legs, and took the box of letters into my arms. Hugging it to my chest, I moved to the fire, hoping the warmth would rid me of my goosebumps. With my back to the heat, I shifted into a cross legged pose and sat the item into the space between my thighs. 

I had to commend him, my brother, to have been able to weave such a delicious bargain with me that night. He knew I looked up to him, knew I loved him so hard, and so truly as he acted like both father, sibling, and companion throughout my life. Lose him, or stay for dinner with no hint of my rebellious nature beneath it. My nails dug into the meat of my leg. 

A sick amount of admiration formed at the pit of my stomach. It was brilliant, really, but not just that night. All of it. All the years and mornings spent together, every day spent inside the castle walls without hardly a complaint. Why would I? He gave me no good reason to have to leave. I wasn't a warrior like my siblings, nor was I of demanding social status. In the public's eye, I was beloved, but horribly spoiled and lazy. I was the child they expected to run off and waste riches, and by god, if I didn't have Kaze to spill my dreams onto, I probably would've. I didn't need to go to the markets or capital more than a few times a year since those were our family outings or festivals, but why even go for festivals when you could have a more private, secluded one with those you love most? By the gods, I was allowed to roam the entire royal grounds, which was quite expansive all thanks to Ryoma, a privilege every one of my siblings had before me. Why would I ever want to make little of his gift to me? I didn't need to go on trips with Sakura, I wasn't a healer. I didn't need to travel for blessings, I wasn't as good as Ryoma. I didn't need to hunt with Takumi since I couldn't wield a bow, and I sure as hell didn't need to go with Hinoka in the air since it was so dangerous. So I was with mother, who never had enough strength to leave the castle till father returned.

And it was enough. I was happy she was alive and happy I could be with her when I wasn't walking that same path I did every day while all my siblings studied our heritage and proper etiquette that Ryoma said I didn't need to know after my basics. 

So, there I stayed, the dumbest of my siblings and the most hidden, as if I were a rare doll, stuck behind the glass of a case my brother held closed. 

And no one thought it wrong. A huff left my lips. No. No one saw him do it. I turned my eyes to my lap. But... maybe now, maybe my siblings could see it. My eyes brightened. Sakura, she was the brightest of all of us, surely she could see through Ryoma, and mother, maybe in her letters- maybe it isn't dreadful- maybe she knew- maybe she was coming to tell me that she knew  _"don't be afraid, little dragon, I'm with you always, and you can escape him."_ My breath hitched. Maybe she would tell me about my father, or even where she came from.

Mother was the key. Mother had always been, and gods she must be again. Her letter could save me from all this- she could denounce his crown and have Takumi reign instead- or no- Hinoka. My siblings, my mother, they held the answer on what to do, on how to play this situation. 

They had to.

With a smile, desperate like a broken child, I nearly ripped off the top, and dipped my fingers into the bountiful crop of letters that laid before me, and what a surprise it was to have Sakura's folded at the very top. My smile deepened into a grin, and I brought it up to my eyes. She always had the prettiest handwriting, and was the best of all of us at personal notes. She wrote one for mother every day she was ill, and had each card bare a word of encouragement and love and a ward from evil spirits to keep her even safer while she was weak or comatose.

Gods, I wish I'd saved her little notes to me on days I was ill or upset... They'd have made many moment in Nohr a bit brighter... and might have made me learn from her sweet ways. A sigh left me as I rubbed my finger across the stiff paper. I hope she hadn't been fed anything from Ryoma. I swallowed down a prick of fear. She had grown too strong before I'd left to let our brother tell her how to think. 

I looked to the ceiling and muttered out a soft prayer that she would pity me... and I unfolded her note. 

 _"To my most beloved of sisters-"_ and a smile, careful and scared crossed my face at the sight of the handwriting that was familiar in all the wrong ways-  _"though the days apart have been long, I pray you've not been swayed by the fowl bastard prince of Nohr._ _And I pray moreover you return to us if given the chance. Return home, Little Dragon, as your mother would've wanted it so._

_From the one who loved you most, Sakura."_

My hand quivered as my arm lowered, dropping the letter from my line of sight as my heart flatlined. I blinked, slow and intently as I brought my gaze to the pile of papers before me. The world grew silent as I sat there, watching. Sakura's letter flitted from my hand and slid behind me, and I took the next: Takumi. I unfolded it. I brought it to my line of sight, and I read the manufactured words in the exact handwriting.

_"To my most beloved of sisters,_

_Though the days apart have been long, I pray you've not been swayed by the fowl bastard prince of Nohr. And I pray moreover you return to us if given the chance. Return home, Little_  Dragon, _as your mother would've wanted it so._

_From the one who loved you most, Takumi."_

It slipped from my fingers as I grabbed for the next, no longer breathing, still as a statue while I unfolded it and read.

_"To my most beloved of sisters-"_

A harsh breath pushed through my nostrils as a whine flitted past my grit teeth. With a growl of dumbstruck anger, I crumpled the paper, ripping and tearing along the way before I threw it onto the ground. Words couldn't describe the feeling as I squirmed there. Nothing could even begin to scrape the surface of how it felt while I sat, everything so tense I could simply pop apart as I stared at the next letter on top. 

Nameless it sat, knowing I knew who it was from. It mocked me. It screamed in my ears- by the gods- it ripped its way into me and dug itself into my chest, humming a sweet song while it watched. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting for me to read it. 

My teeth squeaked as stretched my aching, scaling limbs in clicky, stiff motions, trying to keep the urge to rip something apart at bay. I slammed my fists on the ground, letting a resounding slap from the sound of artificial flesh on marble ring in my ears while my palms throbbed. My claws scratched at the ground, dirtying the finish and chipping up the rock ever so slightly. 

With another hit to the floor and a bit back scream, I slammed the box of letters onto the ground to cover my slight damage and pulled out Ryoma's letter. It stunk of cologne and vomit, a paltry odor than inexplicably reminded me of Garon. 

I popped the seal, ripping part of the letter with it, and flipped it open. There was no hesitation in me as my eyes roamed the words-those curling, scratched words that lived in the folds of my memory as I was eight, watching him write and roam his letters, and smile at me like we'd never spent a day not doing so- like he'd never lived without me just at his hip. 

Maybe that was why something in his phrasing made my stomach twist as my eyes flicked across that deadly opener.

_"To my dearest, beloved Corrin,_

_In this moment, I can only imagine what you must feel. And I can only begin to wonder if it feels exactly how my heart dropped when you let that stranger take you from your family. You were so close in my grasps, Corrin. You were so close to coming home, finally, but you let him take you. So, I did what was necessary for a woman who values her family so lowly. You did not deserve their kind words, surely you understand that._

_My only want from you, is to return to us. Is that so horrible to want you to have your freedoms; to not be tied down to a whore of a man? Don't waste your delicate breath on him. What he knows of love is based off dead mothers and the common whores of Windmire. Love lies in Hoshido. Freedom lies in your home. Family lies beyond my embrace._

_I'm willing to give you another chance. I'm willing, Corrin. That day was stressful- I can't imagine what you must have been thinking. Surely now you can consider the side of your family over those people. It will benefit everyone in the end._

_Through all of this hardship, my dear, even with what I said and threatened over dinner, I will always love you. I won't give up, Corrin. So, find comfort that there is one man that will never abandon you in your times of need._

_With you always, Ryoma."_

His letter slipped from my fingers as I rose my eyes to my shadow, stretching across the room as my wings rose to the occasion, spreading and twitching as they pushed over my nightgown. I looked down, head weighted by pain and horns and saw a single, scrappy piece of paper at the bottom of the box, flipped on its front, with a foreign handwriting I adopted. Mothers handwriting was like a painting, flowing and striping across pages with confidence. She held a brush like she did her bow, with a conviction that could only do good for her cause- yet it was soft in some way. Like every swish of a letter and curl of a vowel tried to offer some sort of comfort with it. 

When my trembling fingers brushed against that scrap of paper, I could almost feel it- feel her. I pulled my hand away as the moment felt too real, and I felt my control loosen around me with the burning of my heart. I swallowed down a choking lump in my throat as I allowed my eyes to comprehend what she wrote in her final moments.

_"Valhalla is near."_

And that was it. There was no more. No word of who my father was, or what to do. She left me with a word I didn't understand, and nothing more. I closed the box with a quiet snap, and let my hand rest on its cool surface. 

She left me with nothing.  

I shut my eyes. 

Her only daughter and she left me with  _nothing_. Not an I love you. Not how happy she was with me, hoe much she'd miss me- why she decided to die. 

_Nothing._

A quiet, muffled sob escaped my lips as I covered my mouth. Like all the years she sat by and watched as Ryoma stole my childhood she did nothing. She said nothing. She did nothing. Mother, has left me with nothing.

I let out a cry of anger and pushed the box off of me. Rising to my feet, with my eyes squeezed painfully tight, I dug a hand into my hair. 

She watched as he controlled me. She watched as he controlled everyone. She was  _there_  as he sent spies and started his plan to watch me. She knew. She had to have known, and she let it happen. She let him do this to me- she let him ruin me- ruin Kaze. I let out a deep, draconic cry of a sound and threw my hands down. With my eyes open and wide I stumbled to the table, ripping off bandages and scratching at irritated wounds as I rammed into it accidently, feeling a pop in my ears and my ribs while my yukata slipped off the surface of the furniture and the jug of rum tipped onto it's side and rolled towards me. With a clawed hand I graspedit before it fell and rose onto my unstable legs. 

He ruined my mother. Ryoma was why she could only watch- everything was his fault. Everything that had happened tonight was his fault. I let out an airy whimper as I turned to the fire. He was why Xander lost his crown- no. No. No. No. No. He was why Kaze was going to die. He was why Kaze was going to  _die_ today _._

My grip tightened on the neck of the bottle. My heart raced as the thoughts slammed across my mind, and my pendant rose to a blinding glow. My tail whipped about, knocking chair and hitting the legs of tables as my eyes settled hard on the flames that licked up a flower petal that floated over in my race to the table, and something in my mind clicked as I watched the letters settle back into place, and the kimono shift against the floor, and the box of armor and useless papers shimmered across the room.

My eyes fell to the bottle of rum in my hands, and I uncorked it with a claw. My mind settled into silence, as I stared down into that black abyss of drink. It fell into that dangerous kind of quiet, the kind you chew on till your gums are bleeding and your stomach is on fire from the feeling of holding back. 

I think the whole word went still for me in that moment. Waiting, watching for what the orphaned little monster would do as her stalker stalked behind her with a million glowing eyes. My throat tightened like I'd fallen off my hanging stool. The drink sloshed from the force of my quaking body. My heart raced. My breath stilled. And my eyes lifted to the fireplace, the things I took from Hoshido, and I saw my Yukata, and the letters Ryoma had sent me.

And nothingness my mother left me.

My face twisted as a hot, speedy breath pushed past my lips. I leaned back against the table and sat down the jug of rum, digging my claws into the wood of it. This was what was left of home. Nothingness. From what was given to me, what I brought, to what I'd received,I'd been given nothing that truly mattered. And what was left of that home in Hoshido was gone. Maybe it had never been there in the first place. Breathless, I rubbed a hand across my strained face. 

My Hoshido was gone. The fresh air and the blinding beauty of the sunsets weren't mine anymore, and I did not want them. The palace I grew up in was cold without a mother to tend to it, and colder still knowing she did not then, and did not protect her only true child. My father returned dead before his time and my siblings live in obscurity there. And my phantom turned darker every day.

My Hoshido was dead and gone, and I wanted it that way. 

I pushed from the table, thinking, that when Garon returns here tonight, he won't have the honor of taking these broken memories from me, because he never knew the lies and the happiness that they once held, or the love that once emanated from them. My Hoshido was dead, and I would kill the last remnants of proof that it ever lived in the first place, and the lies that there was ever a royal family that was functional there- that there was ever a bastard princess who existed in that space.

On shaking knees, I lowered down and picked up those wilted petals, gathering them into makeshift bag from my gown, sure that each item was safe before I took another. My feet were heavy as I wobbled to the fire, feeling like the first time I'd been in full armor, bucking under the new weight of the silver around me. With each step a careful dance I stopped inches from smoking ash and lowered to sit on my calves. My chest fluttered and bounced as the world went tight around me, pushing for me to keep my eyes on those flames and watch them as they destroyed. 

It started with a single petal, fluttering down into the fire like a beauty, and crinkling against the heat long before it ever hit the wood below it. My eyes were fixated and glazed over as I watched it blacken and writhe, screaming and begging as it turned to nothing but gray, fluffy matter that fell to the rest, no longer discernible. My heart raced as I dipped in for another petal and dipped it into dogs of flame, letting it lap at the tips as I held it, heat rising and burning my fingers as I waited till the last second to drop it. I pulled my hand away as I was nipped and sucked lightly at the burns against my shimmering scales. They felt like pins in my mouth, but I didn't care for it much as I took another petal and dropped it to hell. 

Languidly I watched it, immobilized by the sight, and entranced by the race of my heart and the ecstacy of how  _amazing_  it felt to destroy it. A stuttering breath hitched past my lips as a pop came from the fire, sending sparks my way and onto the pile of flowers in my dress. My toes curled at the sight of the dead, flaming ashes settling in the fireplace. So, I took in a few petals between my fingers and sprinkled them into the flames like seasoning to this dull thing I brought. Then I took more, dropping them in without too much a care of how they sat upon the others. 

Then I took more, filling my hands with clump after clump as my breaths heaved from dry mouth. Handful by handful I threw them, scrambling to pick up those that flitted free from my hands on their way, and flicking them inside, focusing only on the thundering in my head as I plucked more and more from my dress, till I was out.

A gasp of air filled my lungs as I spun behind myself, reaching for the imposter letters Ryoma had sent. I slid them to my back and turned to the flames once again, scooting even closer as I did so. I gathered a thick piece of parchment into my hands, and brought it to my nose, smelling in deep at that disgusting scent. That damn, disgusting smell of his cologne that covered all of his letters. My claws popped through the paper as my grip tightened, eyes hard on the fire. My teeth grit as I tore it in two and tossed it into the burning abyss. 

My fingers trembled as I took the next one, caressing the paper and running long nails across it, before a flinching grimace crossed my face as I tossed it in. My wings went wide as I grabbed another, piercing it with my claws as to bring it to me. I rubbed hard at it's grained surface, putting my imprint into it as the fire stared back at me. My legs squirmed under me as I crumpled it and chucked it in, doing the same with the next without a moment of hesitation. 

Blindly, I reached behind myself and caught a claw on the imprint of the Hoshidan crest on the box just at my back. With a long, squealing screech, I pulled it across the marbled floor to me, and opened it. My wings went wide as I looked to the scrap of paper laying innocently at the bottom of that item. My head tilted as my heart softened at the sight of that beautiful handwriting. It could've wrote the most wonderful of poems, and healed the most broken of hearts. Yet.... I brought it into my hands, and caressed a careful line across those words. 

_"Valhalla is near."_

I swallowed down a mouthful of spit as I traced it's curls and swoops with a claw. Yet... she left the world with nothing. My face scrunched as I punctured a hole through. Yet, she left me with nothing. I tightened my jaw as the tears finally came, streaking from my eyes as I pressed it to my chest, eyes wide as I met the flames gaze. My fingers dug into the paper, pressing into my skin as I shredded it there. Over and over, writhing my quaking hands as my teeth bared, to hold back those vomited up sobs. I lurched with every movement, pulling and crumpling until there was nothing. Nothing. Nothing, like she left me. 

I let out a wail as I threw it into the fire. I grabbed the box by it's lid and slammed it hard against the wall of the fireplace, letting shards of wood and hinges spill from it as I hit it, over, and over, and over before I tossed it's broken bits in. I scrambled to my feet, using the wall as my guide as my vision tunnelled upon my damned- ugly yukata. 

What was it worth, I had to wonder? What was it worth to bring from home. Just- just scraps of fabric and some stolen obe. I gathered it into my arms. What was the point of bringing something you couldn't wear? What was the point of remembering something so painful- so  _useless_.

I rolled it into a crumpled ball and threw it into the flames. It unfurled from its form as it hit the wood, nearly snuffing out the fire in one fell swoop. I turned on my heel and grabbed the jug of rum and rushed to the fire place. I was going to see it burn. I was going to see all of it burn. Every single scrap of that stupid place.

I rushed forward and with my thumb over a portion of the lip, I poured a hefty amount of the liquid on the kimono and watched as a blazing inferno rushed forth, nearly singing me at it's burst of life. I stumbled back, covering my eyes at the blinding rush of light and dropped the bottle. I felt the liquid spilled against my toes and the clunk as it landed, but I didn't care, as I narrowed my eyes onto the box. The one thing I worked so hard to keep. Smuggled, stole, and brought to Nohr. The things that had caused me nothing but trouble all for memories I didn't care about, and ones that would do nothing for me when I grew older. 

I lowered my hands, and stepped over the bottle, picking up speed with every step until that heavy, armor filled thing was in my arms, hulking and looming in my thin, weak little grasp. I pressed my nails into the wood as I moved forward. stepping over the jug of rum and into that puddle of alcohol that loomed closer and closer to the flames. One spark.

One spark was all it would take to ruin this castle and the thought made my heart race. 

My toes curled as I inched closer to the heat, blinding and teeming with the smell of burning wood and fabric. One spark. My grip tightened as I rose the box to my side, mustering as much strength as I could. I slammed it against the floor. No. No I rammed it against the floor. I hit it there in that spot. Over and over and over. Breaking it into nothing but a mangled mess with silver thorns before I chucked it in with the others. 

I took a step back, trying to catch my breath as the ringing in my ears finally went silent. My hands were heavy as I rose them to my forehead, wiping off the dust and sweat that seemed caked onto my face, but as I did so, almost methodically, I noticed something upon my cheek I'd never felt before. I brought my finger down from my cheek, and looked to my fingers with nothing on them. 

My tears had stopped.

A huff escaped my lips. My tears had stopped, and I felt.... 

 

And I felt....

I  rose my eyes to the wreckage. 

Oh gods.

 I put my hand to my throat.

 By the gods, what have I done? 

"No. No. No. No. No," I sputtered, lurching forward to the flames. "Oh gods no-" I retched as I flopped onto my knees. I pushed my hair back and braced as I plunged my arms into the flames. I let out a cry at the pain as I tried to fetch out a piece of my kimono. I grit my teeth and pulled out for just a second of relief before I reached back in, successfully grabbing at it a tugging it, but instead of the fabric, a charred, flaming chunk of wood from my armor box, tumbled down and into the puddle of rum I was stationed in. 

I didn't even see it coming, neither did I the door open. Before I knew it, my nightgown from my feet to my knees was flaming, and I was sure that I was going to burn to death because of my outburst. I let out a yelp as I scrambled backwards, smacking at the flames with my blistered hands until I felt rough hands loop under my armpits and yank me backwards. In a panic I flailed, flapping wings and writhing as my legs began to burn and I was drug faster, feeling my calves rub against the tile of the bathroom. All at once I was lifted and plunged into the bathtub. 

I let out a sputtering cough as I rose my head above water, gasping for air as I frantically thrashed about, checking to be sure I was thoroughly extinguished. With deep, heaving breaths I dunked my hands into the now lukewarm bath waters and let out a hiss at their sting. 

I heard a string of curses come from the bedroom, and I snapped my head to watch as Xander smothered the rampant flames that, luckily, spread no further than the puddle of rum. It only took him a couple of seconds to control the fire and lower the intensity of the fireplace, keeping whatever I had burning to continue burning in captivity. With quick hands he chucked the rampant piece of wood back into the flames and hastily wiped the heat from his hands. 

A rugged sigh left him as he gave his ponytail a tug. He turned to me, and I lowered my eyes back down to the blackened fringes of my nightgown. I was insane. I must have been. It was the only explanation I could come up with while I sat there, swishing my hands around in hopes the burning would end, and the shame that bloomed in my chest would leave with it, but it only deepened as Xander entered the room with me and lowered onto his knees.

I looked away from him, and hunched in on myself. 

"Are you alright?" he asked slowly as he placed his hand on the lip of the tub. I nodded and inched my hands over to my side, hoping to hide them from him, yet, I knew he saw me. I knew he saw my reach in, and I knew my voice couldn't handle admitting that. My wings tightened around me. 

"No," he said, "I need you to tell me you're alright." I let out a soft laugh at that. He knew. Gods, he knew that that was exactly what I didn't want to do, and I knew that was just what I didn't want from him tonight. I didn't deserve his codling, nor did I want it. I did this to myself. 

"I'm-" My voice twisted in my throat as I spoke, and as hard as I tried to mask it, there was no use- "I'm fine." And oh yes, he knew that I wasn't as well, and all I could do was close my eyes and wait for it. The  _it_  that he always gave when I was in pain. I couldn't take it tonight. Gods, I couldn't handle him trying to comfort me- I think I'd really break if I saw it. 

But... but there was nothing. No it. Nothing but a stilted request. 

"Let me see your hands." Though more of a demand than anything else, but it made it much easier to give in to it. Carefully, I brought my swelling hands above water, giving an already monster blister a short glance, before presenting them to him. I flinched as he took my arm, guiding it toward him, and thus me closer.

He scanned over the wound as though it were a report, and he drunk in all the details. Every blister and cracked scale didn't go unnoticed as he silently documented my damages. He let go of me and moved in close to my face. Taking my head into his hands he tilted my head ever so slightly, and brushed a stray piece of ash from my cheek as he once more examined my head wound, now exposed. Nicholai said it had been nothing but a concussion. No fractures. No breaks. Nothing. The most there was was a cut from the force of the blow, so small it didn't even need stitches. Something I was grateful for, for the time being.

His jaw tightened, and I watched him swallow before taking in a shallow breath. He pulled away from me, and pushed up from the tub onto his feet. "I'll be back with cold water." Was all he said before he left the bathroom with a pointed shut of the door. 

And for that time spent silent and still in the ever stagnant feeling water, I think I would've left myself in that state if I were him, and never come back, yet he did. Somehow, he came back with a freezing bucket of water and a handful of bandages and salve with no words to spare me as he placed the pitcher onto my thighs and waited for me to dip my fingers in. 

I hissed at the feeling, but only for a moment before the numb of the ice flitted through my palms. Absently, as my fingers waddled through the schools of swimming skin and scales that slipped from my hands, I wondered if I'd scar, or be crippled for the rest of my life. Maybe I deserved that fate. I slid down in the bath, letting my head nestle against the edge, and moved the bucked down to rest against the back of my calves as to offer some relief to their soft throbbing and cool the water further. 

Silently, I watched as Xander unrolled a length of bandage and ripped it from the rest with his teeth. Methodically, he worked, making a dozen of those strips before he moved to the salve, bringing a healthy glob onto his fingers and spreading it across once side of the length and following suit on all the others. When he was finished with his work, he wiped off his hands and turned back to me, a bandage in one hand, and expectant reach in the other. Sure not to touch him with my more sensitive areas, I sat my forearm into his hand and let him do the delicate work of wrapping me up, finger by finger, palm by palm.

He started with my pinky, the worst of the injuries on my right hand. I'd sat it directly onto the smoldering wood the second time I reached it, and it looked horrible with it's singed scales. He could pluck them from me like petals of a flower. He loves me. He loves me not. I'm sure they'd shed if I left them there long enough, falling behind me like a trail as I went to war with the Ice Tribe. 

"How badly does it hurt?" Xander asked. 

I want to scream at how much just those bandages irritated my burns. "Not much." But the tension in my voice betrayed me. My finger twitched as he tucked the ends of the fabric under itself. It was the lightest f pressures, but with the numbness of the ice water fading, it felt like he'd tried to stab me.

He snorted, an unfamiliar sound from him that made me rise to meet his work focused gaze. "There's no point in lying if it's to make me feel better. I need to know what's going on so I can help you."

"You shouldn't be focusing on me. It's just wasted energy. I've already caused enough- enough problems tonight. You should have this time to-" Another snort. This time, aimed right at me, and it made my blood 

"It's amazing." He bobbed his head up to look at me. 

"What is?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. 

"How hypocritical you are." 

I scoffed. "Hypocritical? Excuse me? How am I hypocritical, Xander, tell me, please, since this is so much more important than the both of trying to heal." I yanked my hand out of his loose grasp, and he leaned back, giving me the tiniest bit of space.

"Just a few weeks ago," he said, "you told me to let you worry about you. You got so angry when I told you that you shouldn't be caring for me, so I let you keep going, and gods did you keep going, no matter how much of an idiot I was." He motioned to me. "Now you're telling me those exact same things I told you." He scoffed, though it sounded less mean spirited than I expected. "Hypocritical."

I dipped my hands back into the bucket. "That was different."

"How? How is that any different, Corrin?" 

"Because it just was!" I said, closing my eyes at the thrum of pain in my temple at my raised voice. A shallow breath left my lips, and I lowered my voice. "It just was then. I didn't lose a crown because of you then. You weren't the one who didn't work hard enough to save someone." I rolled my lips into a tight line. "You didn't betray those you loved for no good reason than to save me- and by the gods, you didn't turn into a monster and make everything worse."

"I did  _not_  lose my crown because of you-"

"If I had stayed in my room like my retainers wanted me to, you would've been alright." I rubbed my eyes with the back of my arm, hoping to hide my watering eyes from him as my chest went tight. You couldn't cry in front of him now, Corrin, that was the worst thing you could do. "I should've stayed there and just dealt with myself and the fact that I knew you had a plan so much better than me- me just barrelling in and making him even more angry," I spat. "And don't you dare deny the fact that I made everything worse and try to- to coddle me!"

He took my elbow with a softness I wanted to rip out of him. I wanted him angry at me. I wanted him to grab me, hard, and yell at me for being so dumb. Hit me. Hurt me. Do something to show me how much of a mistake I made. To show me how wrong Azura was- that I was only made for destruction. 

"Don't touch me," I whispered. "Don't you dare touch me. You know I'm right, Xander, don't you dare-" I hiccupped as he pulled my arm from my red eyes, for once not listening to me. I grit my teeth and stared him hard in the eyes, trying not to notice the lingering red mark from Camilla's hand. "Let go of me, Xander, you know I'm right," I growled. My wings stretched out behind me, but he kept his hand tender around my wrist, not moving an inch. "You  _know_  I'm right!"

"So, what do you want me to tell you then?"

I blinked. "What?"

"If you're so positive, what do you want me to tell you? That everything would've been fine if you stayed behind? That I'd still be a prince? That I blame you for everything tonight, from making me so stupidly nervous, to so-" his voice went quiet- "so scared, when I was the one who let you even be in that situation in the first place? I let you come back to that room, and I let you stay. It was my fault. I'm the one who-" He bit at the meat of his cheek, physically chewing on his words as he looked at my hands. "I'm the one who lost it tonight, Corrin, and you played no part in the years leading up to it," he whispered. "I-" his breath hitched, like it was still shock- "I lost my crown." He squeezed his eyes shut for before  he met my pained gaze. He swallowed and he gave a slow, slow nod. "But that title isn't as important to me as your safety and my country's safety. If I'm truly the leader I want to think I am, I don't need a crown to keep my people safe, Corrin. I don't need it to help them thrive like they deserve to... because if I can't do it without that crown, then I never deserved it in the first place." He sat his hands onto the edge of the tub.

"But that isn't fair," I said. "That's not fair-"

"And what about you?" He asked, eyebrows drawn in concern. "As much as everyone is trying to play it, this night is  _not_  centered around me. There are so many more important things circling around you and your family than there is mine, public gossip and views of me aside. What about what you learned tonight is fair to you?" His fingers twitched towards me but refrained from touching. A huff of astonishment left his lips. "How is it fair that you have to live with a man who literally cannot begin to understand just how much this is hurting you? I've grown up on this, living with family spies so comfortable they break bread with you and siblings that are out to get one another." He tapped his chest. "I will never know the betrayal you feel because I have never known to trust my siblings, and that hurts so damn much knowing how big of a wall that just put between us, but what hurts even more is the fact that you will always have to live with this." He let out a scoff. "Forget about me, you have to live with  _this_." He motioned to the entire world around us, and the Hoshidans that breathed down my neck and whispered sweet nothings into my ears. "There is no pleasing outcome for this, not when they've been waiting to destroy us for so long, and we've been so through with their damn assaults and blockades for nothing more than to starve innocent people." He lowered his fist onto the bath. "We don't have the supplies to win a war, and we don't have the allies to defend against them if they attack first. Gods, we don't even have the right of mind not to wage it." He leaned back against his calves. "By the gods, the prince has lost his crown- what does that matter when you will lose so much more all because of one honorless, fledgling king," he spat. "I had a reason for what was done to me. All you did was be forced into a marriage you didn't even want and have to be raised beside that- that-...." 

He ground his teeth and shut his mouth for a moment to compose himself, eyebrows strained as he chewed on his words before he seemed to settle on the right combination. "You need to think about your involvement in this, not my crown, not Camilla's, not even that butler." He gripped the side of the bath, hard. "Kaze and Hoshido  _must_  be what you are most concerned with- what everyone is most concerned with, not your misgivings-" 

"I can't do that," I sobbed, tears suddenly bubbling to my surface. "I can't think of him, I can't think of home-" I took in a stuttering breath and leaned back against the bath, looking anywhere but his eyes as I drunk in all the pain and suffering this stupid night had thrown my way. "I wanted to be anywhere but there tonight, Xander. I wanted to be away from Nohr, Hoshido, I wanted to stop thinking of that place and Garon for  _one_  night. One." I ran an arm across my face, smearing snot and hot tears across my cheek. "I've been stewing in here for hours!" I bellowed, voice crumbling. "Thinking over and over and over and over again about it- Kaze is going to die-" I gasped for a breath as I pressed my arms against my face, sniffing and hiccuping- "He's going to die and it's all my fault because I went  _absolutely insane_. And when I wasn't-" I bit down onto my cheek. "I didn't fight hard enough to show how much he was worth-" A malty breath fille dmy lungs as I lowered my arms, looking him head on- "I killed him, Xander-" My face twisted and I rose my chin- "I killed him because I wasn't good enough- Like I'm not good enough for anybody," I yelled, throwing my hands down into the water. 

"Corrin, y-" But I cut him off. I cut off that damned softness. I didn't want it. I didn't  _deserve it_.

"No." My voice was as tight as a line. I shook my head, lips twisting. "No." I swallowed down my mouthful of mucus. "Because you know how I know?" I nibbled on the thin meat of my lip. "Because I've never done a good thing in my life- and when I try- when I try as hard as I can all I do- all I do is cause a catastrophe because I'm just some ratty, bastard, _mutt_ -"

" _Stop it_ -"

"I tried helping a man get food, and I didn't even do the job- then Flora left. I told Felicia I'd help her and I can't even remember the kid's name sometimes- I loved you and I took your crown day one- I loved you and I took everything away from you, whether you want to believe it or not- I will never- I will never deserve to have you because I'm never going to be good enough. I will never do something great-"

"Corrin-"

"I'll never be as good as you- I can never live up to what you can manage because I'm nothing but a spoiled, selfish brat who gave up what you had stolen-" My voice quaked- "I will never live up to you-"

"Why would you ever want to?" And it was the quietness that made me stop, screaming of a worthlessness so deep in him that stole even my tears. He blinked, face a mangled mix of nothing and everything all at once as he dug his nails into his palm, looking directly in my eyes like I had all the answers. " _Why_  would you ever want to live up to something like  _me_?" he whispered, mouth twisting as he sucked on his teeth. His hands began to tremble. He took in a stuttered breath as he paused, lowering his feral eyes. "Do you know what it's like to try so hard, everyday, every moment in all you do, to always come up short just because of who you are?" His eyes flicked around the floor tiles. "Do you know how it feels to be used and thrown away by every woman you've ever meet because you were some pretty face they could ride on for a minute or two?" His eyebrows furrowed. "Do you know how it feel to rather be depressed than feel nothing?" He rose his eyes. "Why would you want to live up to a person like that. Why would you want to be like a man who only felt for the people he was killing- or be like the man who told his scared little step-sister when her mother died that her death could've been so much worse- or who told the only siblings he had left when the others died, to leave him. alone. for. two goddamned minutes, because they would not be able to replace them. Why would you  _ever_ want to be like the monster who is as worthless as me- at least you can take care of yourself!" He sucked in a breath as his eyes began to water-."At least you can feed yourself and not have to be at the brink of starvation to know you should eat- at least you knew you had a family that loved you- at least-" a sob left his lips and he covered his mouth- "at least you had  _him_. You had Sumeragi before we stole him- that bastard who told a little kid it wasn't alright for them to be whipped- the bastard who showed me even behind his bars; showed his kidnapper's son so much pitty and let him cry next to him after another day went with his father  _destroying_  him.

But no, you didn't have him because my father took him because he wanted you- and even as I got older, hating that man because he showed me how wrong everything here was, and he grew weaker and weaker and colder and colder to this world- I never tried to help him." He grabbed at his shirt, twisting and pulling at the fabric until he could've ripped it. "It's not fair you have to be married to failure who couldn't even hold onto to something he was born with an entitlement to- to some idiot, monster who can't comprehend just how horrible this situation is and even competently try to make you feel just a bit better- because no," he flicked his eyes to me, filled with tears and a burning hatred for himself that made my lungs stop working, "I'm stuck here self-loathing, because that's all I'm capable of." His jaw tightened as his face twisted into agony. "I only know how to wield a sword and talk pretty, and how sad-" he laughed- " and how  _sad_  is that when the woman who wants to live up to that mess can do so much more than I could ever dream of, because she has some more functioning feelings than whatever-" he motioned to himself- "whatever this is." He pressed his hand into his chest and dug his gnawed fingernails into his shirt. "I'm begging you," he sobbed, "don't live up to me- because you deserve so much more than that."

Then... he was silent, left crumpled with his head in his hands as he cried, drifting in a space where only that bathroom and us existed as he sat there, quaking, and utterly, horribly cold. And for a moment in my shock, we stayed like that. So close his hair dripped over the edge of the bath, as we existed there, letting the world's song fill what our mingled life- dulled to nothing but muffled sobs and quiet breaths- couldn't. 

There was a door slam next to us, and a drunk woman screaming. There was the soft fall of the rain and the low rumble of the far off thunder, and the little sounds the water in the bath made as I breathed. And then there was the sound of me as I pulled him towards me as best I could. He only needed a brush of my touch to know, and he wrapped his arms around me, pressing his face against my collarbone as I settled my wrists at the back of his neck. Watching his ears go red at their edges.

Humiliated in every sense.

 _"I'm sorry- I'm so sorry-"_  Was all I could catch between his garbled sentences, blubbering and merging into nothing but sniffles and hiccuped sounds as he took in deep breaths, maybe trying to calm himself, maybe just trying to breath. I didn't know, and I didn't mind.

I pressed my lips against his hair and settled there as his fingers loosened and tightened in a methodic rhythm against my nightgown, careful in his ways as he avoided injuries and scars hidden from sight, but not from his mind.

I would have given anything in that moment to have been able to have touched him or said even a single word, but my hands were burned, and my voice stopped working long ago. So, I stayed there, holding him like he never had been before as I looked forward past the open door of the bathroom to the flames, dying to nothing but a smolder. His shadow from hours before was nothing but a faded color, leaving traces of his hulking form only in the seams of tiles, tip-toeing through and though the quiet livelihood of the damp floor, trying not to disturb a single thing in that dimming light that flickered like his breaths against my neck.

_Worthless._

_Mess._

_Idiot._

The words made me cringe at their bitter memory, spewing like bile from his lips as he spat it for all to see. His fingers traced a delicate line upon my back, following the scar of wings I tried not to remember so often, and I felt those same horrible words in his touch, screaming at himself as he treated me as tenderly as he always did. 

_Monster._

_Failure._

_Nothing._

I closed my eyes to their screeching sound and pressed my forehead against the top of his head, his hair feeling so empty without that blackened metal nestled in it. There were so many things I wished I could've said, so many little utterances and phrases that my throat urged to say. 

Tell him you love him.

Tell him he's so much more than he thinks he is.

Tell him we can do this together.

Tell him something. Please gods, tell him something.

But I could do was silently stroke his hair with the back of my wrist as he took in those choppy breaths, pulling himself closer, nestling his face even harder into the crook of my neck, tracing my scars even lighter with even more unstable hands. His grief was the soft kind. And it brought me to a wide-eyed, teary kind of ooze as I looked forward, expressionless as my scales rose up my back, filling patches, but not overwhelming me. I wondered then if he could feel the heat in my pendant, and if it offered hims some sort of comfort that I couldn't.

As the night when on, I did not get my answer.

Only slowly, as the rain stilted to a soft stop, and the fire took a languid pause to its ashes did his breaths seem to slow, growing deeper with every moment as I felt his eyelashes kiss my shoulder. It took him time, time I was willing to give him as he remained there in my gasp, me still stroking his hair, him still touching those lengths of scar tissue. 

We must have stayed there for hours, living between moments, skipping through time, existing just past our mingled breath. My legs grew numb in that cold water and my wings cramped at their awkward position, but I knew then, as he pressed that soft, scared, timid kiss to my collar bone, I could've stayed there forever.

Slowly, he rose his head, like a body rising from the depths of a dive, and took his first breath, a slow, languid one that lifted his chest as he oh so carefully extracted himself from me, eyes down trodden, face stained with tears.

I pressed the back of my wrist to his cheek, and did my best to wipe a little wet streak from his cheek. A soft noise escaped his nose, and then... he smiled. He smiled a somber, timid, child's smile that barely had the hope to reach past his lips. Yet, it was too much for me when he brought his eyes to mine. 

He ran a trail of fingers up the soft side of my arm, bumping over scales and fleshy patches that he treated all the same, and all I could do was watch as he kept his eyes low. Running a rhythm up me I would never forget.

"Someday," he whispered, "someday you'll get that calm home you always wanted." His gaze turned to a shallow mix of thoughtful and pained, and he closed his eyes as if to block it all out. "And maybe I'll be alive to see it." And he met my gaze.

For a moment, I hesitated, but then I stopped thinking over answers to this night, and I simply spoke. "Remember," I said quietly, holding up my hangled hand, "you have a longer life line than me..." I pushed a slow puff of air from my nose. "The chances of you never- never getting to see it are unlikely, so long as-" I swallowed- "so long as I'm around." I shrugged an aching shoulder. "And if I somehow outlived you, I want the years I spent listening to palm and flower petal readings back..."

He flashed me that same, tired smile as he rubbed a soft circle in my arm. "You really think I could outlive a dragon?" 

"If you gave living that long a chance... maybe you could."

His eyes grew even more tired then and he drew in a quiet breath. "A lifetime is too much to think of for tonight," he uttered. 

"What do you want to think about, then?" He lowered his eyes to my hands, shaded yellow and pink from blisters and broken scales.

"Finishing your bandages, if you'll allow me... then... then something menial."

And when he was done, every finger of mine wrapped and I left that cold bathtub and dawned the most formal thing besides my ball gown to wait for Kaze, that was what we did. Nestled chest to back, leaned against the side of our bed, eyes on the glowing coals of the fire with a blanket draped around our shoulders and my wings pressed awkwardly but comfortably against Xander, we spoke of anything we could think of, and did not mind the silences that panned between us, no matter their length. 

In that night that had somehow faded into the blotchy life of morning, I learned that his favorite color was purple, and he loved the smell of morning more than any other. And when we laid there, exhausted and wrapped up, him without his ponytail and me without my scales, listening as maids bustled to ready the castle for another day, we heard a knock at the door, quiet and demanding all in one. So, we rose, ready for the worst with a single glance to each other before we revealed the next chapter of the day.

But we were met by a disheveled Gunter, looking older then than I'd ever seen him. He did not enter our room, nor did he look me in the eyes, but he stood tall, chin high as he held a paper and necessary writing supplies in his hands. 

"Is it time?" Was Xander's only question, and Gunter shook his head.

"So long as the ninja is able to dispel of the intruders efficiently, he is allowed to live in supervised quarters and train under Nohrian protection in order to keep his skill sharp. There is only one catch," And I caught Gunter's small glance towards me. "She must sign these documents formally abdicating her position as a Hoshidan Princess and denouncing her ties to the king."

"And that is all?"

"For now, yes. Meetings involving our new plan to infiltrate the Ice Tribe and measures to take against Lord Silas as well as Hoshido will commence at the king's leisure, for now, you have been ordered to return to your post in the barracks and continue training after you speak to the king on starting your new duties. And..." His eyes flicked across Xander's face, searching for something in his stone expression. "And that would be all." 

He handed Xander his supplies and left with little more than a stiff bow and a quiet close of the door. Xander sat them onto the table with a mouthful of reassuring words for my "predicament" that I was too delirious to understand. Without the energy of the dragon pumping through me, I felt like a ton of manure, and hardly had the energy to walk to the chair. Somehow I managed, and somehow I managed to read that pristine handwriting in my home language that reiterated knowledge I already knew while Xander stood quietly at my side. 

I did not accept his help when I took the pen into my burning fingers, or even when I dunked it so messily into the well. 

On my own, I signed the end of that endless night.

And made sure my name covered the entire letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speedy update! My schedule is undefined right now, but I'm off hiatus, and would like going back to monthly updates again, but such depends on life! There will be no more lengthy hiatuses that go without my writing until this story is done, from this point on, I promise you, time will always be put into this every day, though it could be as little as a sentence to twenty pages. Thank you all so much for dealing with this and staying with me, hopefully the wait was worth it and you're ready for the continuation of this! Have a wonderful rest of your day!


	21. Bed of the Bare

That day, I dreamt of a darkness, a buttery, calming darkness that surrounded me like comforting, heavy arms. Its deep heartbeat was steady against the war inside my head, even in sleep, until a light- a blinding, bleeding, painful light that shook me to my core burst from the horizon. It was unnatural as it slopped forward, twitching and slithering and sobbing as if it couldn't even stand itself. I couldn't breath as it filled my little space: a thick, bulbous miasma. My little pool of darkness shrunk away from sheer force and power of it, leaving me bare and so, so brutally aware of how weak I was to it, and not just to the light, but to myself, but to my brother as he slipped from that light like a king from his throne, taking me into his cold, cold embrace. His whips and daggers dug into my back as he whispered all the words that didn't belong to him.

I was thrashing when I woke; thrashing and fighting and screaming as Xander reassured me- _swore_  to me that I was safe, that he was there now, and that I was alright- that  _we_  were alright.

I did not go back to sleep, because some part of me knew he was wrong.

 

 

In the days following, after a private coronation I was not invited to, a theatrical, devastated Garon gathered the whole of his court and nobles to the throne room to express his disappointment. Wavering his feelings, he explained that there would be a small hiatus before we set out for the Ice Tribe due to a change in power and a blow to "Nohrian pride" that would require the revival of his war council. Council, that the new heir to the throne would head.

Camilla had kept her eyes hard on the crowd as Garon announced her sudden, newfound rise in status, vague upon the reasons of Xander's "dismissal." Yet, when it came to my own loss of crown, he spoke in full, gross detail to my reasons. Pride had washed over him; unadulterated, stomach churning pride as he called me one of Nohr's newest daughters and condemned the Hoshidans for what they "dared" do to my "family." He had been so suddenly warm when hardly two weeks earlier he'd drug me through the ballroom like a dog, but I couldn't let myself react it. I'd swore to Xander I'd keep myself in check, but something deeper had kept me quiet: something that made my back throb and his eyes quiet, if only for a time.

His face had been a mask of diamonds, beautiful, and cold as Garon explain all that was necessary to get the drama of the night before out in the open. None of his words were as shocking to the crowd as Kaze's, unfamiliar, foreign name, but the shock of him being brought forward beat even that. Clamped in chains and garbed in a dark, plagiarized version of his old Hoshidan uniform, they gawked, horrible painted faces reflected in his ebony pauldrons and guards. He looked like a jester's beacon of Nohrian pride, dolled up in dark purples and deep blacks, his grim, pale face matching the motif though and though, but his eyes had held only fire a fire aimed entirely to me. He'd kept his gaze on me the whole speech, toasting silently,  _"To our new lives."_

_To our new lives._

When Garon had finished, rattling something off about the spies and new precautions in the castle, he's asked his guests that they stayed till the new date of our leave for the Ice Tribe. 

His words had been a demand, and we all knew it.

But it seemed a speech wasn't all he had instore for Xander and I. When all I wished to do was rest off the last remnants of sleep deprivation, dragon, and dread, Garon gave us a new room, and he gave me new clothes. 

Our room was large, set in the lower parts of the castle where the generals and their families staying in-castle lived. It wasn't meant for Xander I, and it made me feel too small in such a people oriented space. It was meant for families. Groups of four to six. Not one man and his little wife. 

It made me feel... lonely, so, so lonely. 

There were things, too many things that Garon knew we had no use for; things I knew Xander found utterly uncomfortable to have knowing it would go wasted in our space. Our table was too big; fitted for a family of six for people to have merry times around it- not us. There was a place for sitting after an uncomfortably large, rug covered area, just by the fireplace, with two dark blue sofas and armchairs. It was meant for children and parents to exist in. For mothers and fathers to raise them and teach them to read and live, and showing how it was flanked with empty shelves and trunks, I was absolutely right. Our bed, too large and spacious was separated from that main living room in its own room, on the opposite wall of the hearth, its own fireplace and mini sitting area in it as well. The walls were lined with dressers, mirrors and deep, red curtains without windows, a theme common in the deep maroon shades of the room. No windows. No escape, but the decorations as if you could. 

Our bathroom, similar in style to Xander's old one, was a large, family-like-communal bathing pool. We didn't need it, and we sure as hell didn't need the mirrors that lined the walls.

There were only two good things about the entire room. Only one of those things being something Xander actually liked about it. In a little room, just a bit smaller than Xander's old study, was a bedroom for children, now cleared of things and replaced with everything he could cram into it from his office. It only took him a day to get everything inside, opting to use the day Garon gave him off to move in. I'd never seen him so blatantly satisfied until he sat down into his chair and fiddled with his reading glasses. I saw then what little bits of himself he pushed inside that room, and something about it made me want to stay there with him just a bit longer. 

He'd crammed books of all shapes and sizes into his bookshelves, some filled with jagged, ripped pieces of paper filled end to end with footnotes and little quips while others were nearly completely untouched. Some of his books were so old they could've fallen apart in anyone's hands but his gentle ones yet, others were covered in dried ink and coffee and wine and any drink or liquid I could think of, but some, a rare, rare few had covers and spines stained with mud and blood. He'd kept those the closest to his desk, a dark, oaken thing covered in papers and pens and a little scrap of a ripped painting he'd framed only recently. The end of a blond pigtail, was all I could make out from it.

There were other things like that in there, little odd items and bobbles that had a story I didn't know. A broken ring. A scrap of cloth. Sand in little bottles, shells and broken pearls in others. I tried not to notice the flowers he had, dried and long dead, pressed and glued meticulously to a card of parchment. Flowers that only grew in Hoshido. I couldn't help my small smile at the sight of his cape, the one I'd torn and worn after we'd made love, hung on the shelf closest to his desk.

Even the room, new and unbroken in from him, smelled just like him, smelled  _more_  like him. It was filled with not just a spice, but of someone who lived and breathed around these things; who had a piece of him attached to every little item. It made me understood why he had so little, and wanted so little space. 

He was satisfied.

When I saw his face as his eyes wandered around his things with such a painful familiarity no matter its new location, I knew that he was  _satisfied_  with what he had. Once, I's been shocked at the lack of things in his rooms, thinking him dull and base with nothing to do or think, but this place, crammed with stories I could never imagine was filled with a life he'd only just begun showing me. 

I wondered if I'd ever have a space as special to me or if I'd ever have little things and love them like him. 

I did. Once.

So far there was only a closet. I enjoyed it, if only for its size. The only big thing I appreciated in the whole of our new living package, though our clothing size didn't exactly do it justice. Some, though, some of Xanders weapons and armor though up that space, a space made just for those things in the back. He treated it like a chore, but a necessary one as he armed our room to the teeth, reassuring me at my half hearted tease, in all seriousness, that if we needed more he had much,  _much_ , more he could bring. 

I didn't doubt him.

Soon though, that day to be exact, I started to fill up that closet with my own things. Garon's things: Jewelry, and wigs, and low backed dresses- perfect for wings and perfectly fitting for me- that were good for little else than standing and looking pretty. Not running. Not fighting. Not defending myself. But they were all I had to wear besides nightgowns and Xander's shirts, and I didn't have the courage to ask Camilla about clothes anymore. With every new dress though, followed a note, folded and written in Norhian script by the king that I was forced to have Xander translate. 

With every gift, he asked me to dinner, but I declined. Every night for three days as I was up to at least ten dresses, I declined. Xander, rage bitten and anxious in a way I hadn't seen since I'd been beaten, reminded me that he phrased it each time so that I could decline. 

I dreaded the day that it would be phrased otherwise, and so did he, but it enraged me either way. 

I couldn't remember how it had happened then, that third night in my black, skimpy dress Garon had ordered me to wear, still asking to join, and I still declining, when I returned, the horrors of the masquerade burbling in the back of my mind- Ryoma still in the back of my mind as Xander worked quietly in his study.

I often went there to calm myself down, even when he was working with the soldiers, and... that night, I needed calming. I was angry. I was so angry about how Garon had been taunting us. I was so upset that he'd kept mocking my illiteracy and kept making it so Xander would have to read those requests. I was angry about everything he'd done in those few short days after that endless night, from making me nothing but a pretty set piece to making Xander's workload increase and increase and Camilla grow more and more distant and distant even if Xander promised me she was just adjusting to her duties. I was  _pissed_ , and I told him that. 

I ranted to him, pacing and yelling and stomping with wings and talons and water, vocalizing all my hate and anger as he listened to me, just letting me talk. And then the anger subsided, and I lowered into the chair across from his desk, pulling it up to rest my throbbing, mangled hands against the wood. My rage, cold and biting like the growing chill of Nohr's coming winter turned into a blank, lukewarm fear.

"I'm  _scared_ , Xander," I said, eyes hard on his half eaten bread that had taken him an hour just to nibble it. "I'm so scared that I'm going to be the next Flora." And my voice was so soft, and so... so stiff as I imagined that tired, overworked face the last time I'd ever seen her, and the son she seemed to hate so much. "You know what he's doing, you  _know_. He gave us this room. He gave me these- these things-" I'd motioned to my dress and the jewelry and the makeup and the  _everything_  he'd been gifting alongside those clothes that he'd ordered me to wear tonight- "and he's told you what he wants from me. He found interest in Flora for god knows why- maybe because she was vulnerable- maybe because she was useful to him- but if he finds interest in me- which he already has- if he thinks that I'm somehow better than her in whatever front he went after her, I'm terrified by what he might do."

He nearly jumped up from his chair. "He's not going to do anything like  _that_ to you, Corrin. I won't let him." His voice had been so ruthless, the thought I prosed obviously being a fear he long held, and had long tortured him, and I felt that fear in him as deep as my own. "I won't let him hurt you anymore, I promise. I  _swear._ "

But I wondered- wondered that if it came to it, if he could. But, "I know," I whispered despite myself, taking his hand into my bandaged ones even if it hurt and I saw that hate in him dim to only a small smolder before it washed away into a gentle concern I felt deep in my chest. He moved his hands and lifted my arm up by my wrist and brought it a breath away from his lips.

"Can I kiss you?"

I nodded, and he pressed a slow, soft kiss to the back of my unmarred wrist. One for each bandaged finger, one for every throb of my veins against his lips. 

And then I was in his lap, chest hollowed and desperate for him as we sat there, a mesh of arms and hair as we pressed our foreheads together. Breathing. Living. Trying.

My lips had been cold against his, cold and sticky, but he invited me with that undying warmth and let me swallow him whole, loving him in a way I couldn't do myself, as if devoting myself to that one moment could drown out all of it. Every pain and sorrow. But I stopped. I stopped because I felt him begin to tense at my kisses, and I pulled away, ready to get off and leave him if I'd gone too far.

"Do you still love me?" He was quiet then. So, so quiet. "After all I told you that night, can you even still love me?" 

_Worthless. Mess. Idiot. Monster._

A hate brimming so dark in his mind that he let push past his lips then. 

The question broke my heart, in some, small little way. I heard myself die just a bit for that scared insecurity that brimmed beneath his downtrodden eyes. A sad, dark prince rose to look at me, almost prepared for rejection. 

I touched his cheek, light and gentle as I could without hurting myself, and nodded to him. "I've not stopped, and I'm not sure I will."

I never once doubted it. 

He'd brought me to our bed, kissing me soft and gentle and with all the appreciation of a follower to a goddess, laying me down and covering me wholey as we pressed together like our bed was as small as the last. He stripped first, taking off each article of clothing like it were a love letter to me till he was bare and standing at the foot of the bed. I stared at him, lashes heavy over my eyes as I drunk in every scar, every burn, every goosebump that rose on his flesh. I could almost hear his heart race as my teeth sharpened just a bit, waiting for approval like it were our first time. 

"I love you," I'd said, chest full and blooming. "I love how beautiful you are. I love how hard you try. I love  _you._ " I meant every word. 

He asked me if it was okay if he came back to my side, and I said yes, knowing how much he needed that vocal confirmation that I wanted him. That I  _needed_  him, and I feared, remembering a soft quip he said our first time, that some women had never given  _him_  that same treatment he gave me. Taking him because he was a prince, and he was nothing but a piece of meat in their eyes.

He held me when he returned, naked body pressed close to my back, his fingers tracing the tip of the scar that spilled from my chest as his lips lazily kissed my neck, over and over and over, his erection hard and throbbing against my thigh- something either of us weren't particularly focused on for a while. Eventually, he'd helped me out of my clothes, taking off layer upon layer of jewelry and makeup until he undid the braids he himself had done that morning. Freeing me from my small clothes had been like releasing a dam in the both of us.  

Somehow, we were tangled back on that bed, just a knot of limbs as we took turns leading, marking, connecting till he brought his lips to my first scar and kissed down its length. A kiss for every wound I'd gotten here as he trailed lower and lower. A kiss for every tear. A kiss for every horror that girl he didn't know yet endured. And then a question, just above my navel as pure fire filled my veins in such a way that I was worried that I'd sprout scales. 

"Can I pleasure you?"

_"Please."  
_

And he did, slipping fingers past my bush of silver hair, and filling me with his tongue, drinking me like I was wine, and twirling around my clit like a starved man, desperate to please, desperate to make me whine around the thick walls surrounding us, to let me know he was mine- that he was mine in a way I never knew a man could give himself.

And he showed me, over and over, sucking, lapping, devouring me as he stroked his cock, pumping it slow and hard in his hand as I bucked against him, his chin wet with my previous climax, my ears full with the sound of his rasps of breath, his moans, his  _cries_. 

I needed him in a way I couldn't describe then, craving the feel of his cock in me, craving to give him the climaxes he gave me. He didn't hesitate at my garbled request, and began the slow work of filling me, bit by bit, till his length was all I could feel. All I wanted to feel. 

It wasn't sex. That night, it wasn't sex, because nothing-  _nothing_  could've been that soft, that deliberate and gentle and caring and so filled with passion. It was something else that night with him then. Something so much more, lasting so much longer, so much more important. 

He couldn't bring me my climax through his cock, pulling out before I'd reached halfway to my peak at the telltale signs of his orgasm that I began to notice: the heavy tremble of his hips, the stutter of his breath, the tension in his legs. It was at the stutter that he pulled out, only needing to brush his cock to release.

He finished me with his tongue, pressing me against his lips as I shuddered and plummeted past the electricity he pumped into me, till he was there, easing me past the aftershock. Easing me past the past few months I'd been nursed through. 

 

 

After that night, sex and the counterpart that felt like it could never be so simple, came more often. 

Some days, it was a nightly thing, acting as a time to wind down from the day and connect for just a bit longer before we slept, maybe a bit joyus that Garon's notes had gone on hiatus that day. Others, it was morning and we took our time getting to climax, asking little questions through kisses if we felt alright. If we were hungry. If we slept... decently. I kept my nightmares to myself. But I knew he knew, and he waited for me to tell him. If I ever did I'd never know. 

When the mornings were over and he'd gone through his work in training to do paper work, preparing for meetings,  _it_  became an afternoon thing. Primal, and hot- a mesh of teeth and limbs as he pressed me against the desk, finding a hard rhythm as we grew more and more comfortable with this new dynamic.

The first full week after the masquerade, marked all of those romps a daily thing. Three courses of passion, and maybe four if we were lucky. A honeymoon period, Camilla would've told me, had she deigned to speak to me anymore. Azura, noting the growing amount of mutt transformations in me thought it something else.

"You both have dragon blood," she said past a mouthful of bread, her delicate hands placed just over her lip. "It was inevitable that at least you'd start getting a bit insatiable."

I'd nearly choked on my broth. "The hell does that mean?" She chortled at me.

"Think of this, if you will. You've enough blood to turn into a dragon whenever you please. It's safe to say it's strong enough that you can have the tendencies of one." She waved her hand in the air. "Destruction. Insanity. Possessiveness." She cut me a smirk. "High libido." She laughed at my blush. "Xander, has that blood as well," she explained. "Camilla, and Garon too, but Xander has always taken to it... a bit stronger than them." She took a sip of her wine. "I guess to put it plainly, your blood and his are reacting to each others as dragons often do. As mates." The thought had made my heart race. "Of course, I could be wrong and you're both just horney, but, I've been putting my bets on you two being mates since you came to Krakenburg."

"What?" I'd said, nearly reeling back in my seat. Another shrug, like this conversation wasn't more intrusive than my question that started this whole conversation intended it to be.

"You're the first dragon I've seen in ages, and I'm a very bored woman. Might as well use my knowledge to have a bit of fun," But then she paused, swirling around her drink in the cup. "Think about it, Corrin. I really could be wrong, and the day you find your true mate could be a bit disorienting." She motioned to me. "Think about how you both react when you're around each other. Let your body answer that question for you."

My mind wandered that night, his absent stroke of my thigh as we unwinded into sleep tugging my thoughts back to her words. In my memories I saw him wrapped around me after Iago's torture. I felt the yearning beneath my breast that seemed to have lasted a lifetime as I waited. I heard the low growl in my voice as I wrapped a tail around his calve. I saw every tender motion he made, both in memories and in that moment.

And I wondered if he knew. 

Or if I was just insane.

 

 

For the rest of that week, life, seemed... good; busy in a way I could sink my attention into, with no more gifts from Garon, and no more notes to account for.

Fully fed up with my illiteracy, I had Xander pick me out a book of translations and old guides, and started to teach myself his script in the space between lunches and brunches, one of which I'd begun spending with Felicia. Brunch, to be specific. Little by little, her and Laslow had begun letting me dip my toes into meeting Dwyer. He was a shy one, even with his like for my "dragony bits." Felicia's words. I'd yet to hear the child talk, but I'd gotten him to look at me while Laslow was informing me what medicines he took and how to administer them. It was progress enough.

When Felicia left for her duties, and Laslow was returning to the barracks to assist Xander before he had his break, I went to Azura. It wasn't anything substantial that we did... only talking and eating, but with some sort of purpose I guess. It was the start of our "training." Knowing myself was apparently integral to being able to control my transformations. It was unsatisfying knowledge at best, but... I was curious. Somewhat.

After Azura, I was back to learning my letters and partaking in one of her little exercises. Warm and cool my pendant. Over and over and over and over again until my mind hurt. The catch, was that I had to do it by my will, not my emotions, making that simple task, basically impossible. Yet, no matter the frustration that would end up ruining my entire session, I was still in good spirits; still trying to make myself as useful as possible. And that felt  _good_. It felt good to do something for once. It felt wonderful to just be helpful- from assisting Xander or Felicia and Dwyer as much as I could- which was hardly anything- or just being an extra set of hands- though I was injured on that front- it made me feel... good.

For a moment, I almost felt, normal, or as normal  as I could be.

Until, the start of that third week.

 

 

I awoke one morning to the crisp chill of the castle seeping through my blankets, and the distinct feeling of being watched only my nightmares gave me. It was an instinct, slipping my fingers across the sheets, grasping for his hand, his leg, anything that was near as if to ground myself in reality. But I only felt the long empty space of his sliver of bed beside me. I pressed my sore hands flat against the bed at the feeling of my fingers bumping against a wall. A wall our bed was not stationed against.

I came to the sinking realization at the feeling of the silken, gossamer sheets, that this was not my bed, and that I was naked in it.


End file.
